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Published:
2021-07-24
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Detective, detect!

Summary:

Jake Peralta is an excellent detective. Except when it comes to his personal life (or: that one deleted scene where Jake finds out about his ex boyfriend

Notes:

Gosh, I love those authors who are so consistent they have like, fifty fics all about one fandom and all follow the one specific style that made you go snooping in their profile in the first place. Anyway, that's not me. Beta wanted by the way, so if you want to help me make this mess less messy my inbox is open. I just posted it because the bisexual Jake tag needs more content. I promise I have another bi!Jae fic in the oven and I hope is better than this.

Work Text:

It's 3 am and Amy is lying beside him, sound asleep, but Jake can’t do the same. He can’t stop thinking about something Rosa had said earlier. It was nothing major, they were just joking around like always but… Something about it got him for some reason.

They were just talking about good-looking perps. Jake was retelling the story of how he got up close and (not really) personal with the Brazilian mobsters. She had her own story about chasing drug dealers in a strip club. Rosa said, "Yeah, bisexual problems, am I right?" And then they high-fived and she left. And it shouldn't have gotten to him, because he was straight, wasn't he? And joking about good-looking perps was something he did literally all the time. Why was this time different?

Sure he thought some men were hot, sure he had a crush on AC Slater. But he loved Amy. He loved her curves and her soft lips. The soft scent of her hair. She always used Orchid Explosion, by Fournier and he never met anyone else who used it, so that smell was purely her. Her tiny little hands. God, if he had to list everything he loved about Amy… All those little details he had memorized about her. She was the one.

And it's not like he ever acted out on any fantasy he had with men. The closest thing was when he lived with Josh and they would pretend to be a couple. And, sure, sometimes they took things to the bedroom. But that's just something roommates did together, right? Not that he did anything like this with Gina when they were living together. But, when he was living with Josh they were both twenty-something males, they were horny all the time. Besides, they mostly just made out on the couch.

He was one of the best detectives in Brooklyn. Scratch that, he was one of the best detectives in the NYPD. He would know if he was bisexual. Especially with Holt and Rosa working beside him.

So, instead of sleeping, he could work on a case. This nagging feeling was probably his instincts telling him to find the ex-boyfriend. He was obviously the one who stabbed the lady into a coma. Okay, so he did not stab her into a coma exactly. It was more due to all the cocaine she had done before not really mixing well with the painkillers the rookie paramedic gave to her. But, still. Stabbing equals bad.

The next day he catches the guy. Or, at least he sends a warrant to Maryland, where the suspect has been hiding with his mom. But he's still not over the thing Rosa said, which doesn't seem like a very straight way to react.

He considers talking to Holt, or to Rosa herself. They would know for sure, right? He considers texting Amy, asking her to meet at the roof so they can talk. He even considers calling Kevin - he gave him his number for "emergencies only" and he probably meant Holt emergencies, and not sexuality crises emergencies, but is on him for giving Jake his number at all - but it doesn't feel right.

He feels like he should ask someone who knows. Someone who knows who he is when he is with a man. He goes to the evidence room and chooses a nook between the shelves where the camera can't catch his lips and calls a number he never thought he would call.

(In part because it's a number he looked up in the system, but the sentiment remains.)

He dials the number and the phone beeps a few times before a voice Jake knows way too well answers.

"Hello, this is Josh Harris. Who am I speaking with?"

"Hi, this is Jake Peralta. We used to live together?"

"I know who you are, Jake."

No nonsense, classical Josh.

"So, man, it's been so long. How are you?"

He hears the sound of the traffic, the wheezing of air conditioning, and voices in the background. Josh is in the car with someone.

"Can you please just say what you want to say Jake? I know it's been 15 years since you last saw me so you probably don't remember, but I get queasy when I talk in the car."

Jake does remember. He used to think it was adorable. The same way Sophia's seasonal colds were adorable. The same way Amy's dog allergy is adorable. Oh, God.

"So, uh, this is kinda weird. Remember when we used to live together? Were we dating? Did I miss that?"

The voices get louder, but he still can't hear what they are saying.

"Are you seriously calling me to talk about this? Fifteen years after we last saw each other? Look, I'm going to meet my boyfriend's family upstate. I can't talk right now."

He never knew whatever happened to Josh. He kept throwing Jake those weird looks and then, one day he said he had to move out. Jake had said "See you around." and he had answered "I'd rather not.".

"Sorry. I do remember how sick you get when you try to talk in the car. If you're not the one driving, fix your look at the keychain. It used to help."

There's a sight, and it's been 15 years, but he remembers this sight. It's the "Jake's being stupid, but cute sight" but it also brings memories of other sights. The kind that isn't appropriate for midday traffic or any kind of public, really. And maybe that just answered Jake's question.

"Jake, I don't know what made you call me after all these years. I can't answer all your questions for you but I can tell you that I'm gay. It took me some time to come to terms with this. And even though I acted like what we were doing back then wasn't gay, it was. We were in a super committed relationship. We were living together. I made you dinner and you made me breakfast. We greeted each other with a kiss and 'welcome home, honey' and pretended it was ironic but it wasn't. I'll hang up and maybe throw up now. Have a good life, Peralta."

Oh God, he had an ex-boyfriend.
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