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Jack didn't turn up for dinner that night. It wasn't a surprise, he'd said he would leave, and he did. Sarah knew his spirits had been diminished, she knew he was going to Santa Fe now because he didn't know what else to do. He couldn't stay with the knife Sarah had stabbed him with.
It was the few hours prior that killed him inside. The image of Jack's clouded irises, how alone he looked and must have felt.
"Sarah..." Jack had said, reaching into his pocket as he spoke.
No. Sarah dreaded this moment, she didn't want it to happen, and she refused to let it.
"Jack-" She already felt the lump in her throat at his name.
"I... I want to marry you, Sarah," Jack's hand still rested in his pocket, his head cocked slightly, and his dark brows pushed together, puzzled at Sarah's reaction.
"No, you don't." Sarah crossed her arms tightly as she bit her bottom lip. Nothing had ever been this difficult. It had never been harder to say no to a simple question. "Jack, you don't want to marry me."
"Yes, Sarah, I do."
Tears began to pour from her eyes now, "I know you told the other boys. I know, I saw it coming- Why would you buy only one ticket if you thought I was going to say yes?"
Jack's expression dropped completely now. He didn't respond at that.
Jack was a confused young man, and he'd been confused for a long time. Sarah couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. A truth that came in who he decided to look at, who clouded his thoughts, who impacted his emotions the most- A bittersweet truth he hadn't figured out yet; he loved her brother.
If Sarah had the wealth to her name, this would have mattered to the entitled skeptics with a notably expensive title; But it didn't. None of this mattered to them, despite the written fact that Jack led to their financial demise three years prior. Nothing changed the fact that rejected proposals among the working class were insignificant filth in their peering eyes.
And Sarah couldn't help but wonder what the boys would think. They'd all grown close the past few years. Something told Sarah things would begin to contrast after today.
It only hit her now, as Jack was standing there, ring in his pocket, that she honestly couldn't see herself with him. And she could practically hear her older peers demanding her idiocy, insisting she made a mistake. But she knew for sure a one-way-love had to be a bigger mistake than any refusal.
But someday, Jack would know. Some day he'd come rushing back home to tell David he loved him- hold him close and finally be apart of the love he'd always meant to be. And Sarah knew when Jack mustered the damn courage to ask him that question- he'd say yes.
Jack would be so in love that he'd forget. He'd forget the confusion, the problems, the false emotion Sarah had sustained all this time. Because for once in his life, it would be real.