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Be Ye Wary of French Hallucinations

Summary:

This is more of a detailed outline than an actual fic. You’ve been warned.

Tim is frustrated because people keep giving him their work when he has his own and more to do.
Tim is tired because he’s working on his third consecutive all nighter trying to get said work done.
Tim is frustrated and tired and starting to hallucinate voices in his head, which he really shouldn’t be able to hear just yet, it hasn’t been that long since he’s slept, honestly!
Tim is frustrated and tired and hearing voices in his head- in Paris.
Whoops

Notes:

I put it in the tags and summary, but I’m gonna say it one more time: this is more of a detailed outline than a real fic. You have been warned.

 

Disclaimer: I do not own miraculous ladybug or DC

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Tim is in Paris. Tim does not want to be in Paris. Paris is far away from his friends and his home and all his cases and various things he needs to work on. Yet here he is, stuck in Paris, because something weird was up with the French branch of Wayne enterprises, and because apparently Doctor Fate felt some weird magical happenings going on here, but is too busy to investigate so Bruce sent Tim. Except Tim was busy too, but that didn’t seem to matter much to Bruce.

Either way, he’s frustrated that him being told to do these things have taken him away from Gotham and his very full schedule there, thank you very much, and he’s also tired cuz he’s pulled at least two all-nighters trying to get these things done so he can return to Gotham asap, and that’s when Hawkmoth strikes.

“Delegator, I am hawkmoth. I give you the power to force others to do their jobs instead of foisting them off on you, and in return you must get me the miraculous.”

And Tim just, “huh. Have I hit the 72 hour mark already? I knew I should’ve gotten more coffee when I was out earlier. I guess a little fresh air would probably do me some good anyway, cuz that voice was significantly weirder than they usually are.”

Then he packs up his stuff and heads to a nearby cafe, ignoring Hawkmoth’s “I am not a hallucination!” The whole way. He notices people looking at him strange during his walk, and the cashier at the cafe looks noticeably scared, but he thinks it’s cuz he looks like walking death and just ordered an obscene amount of caffeine, not cuz he has a purple butterfly outline on his face.

Tim settles down at a table with his coffee and starts to work, ignoring everyone around him, including the person who snaps a pic of him and sends it to the ladyblog with the caption “WTF DO WE DO? HES BEEN LIKE THIS FOR AT LEAST 10 MINUTES ALREADY” The post immediately blows up, which causes Alya to see it, who excitedly shows it to Marinette before running out the door, who panics and transforms and runs after her.

In the meantime, Tim has been doing his best to ignore the voice in his head, but it’s been getting increasingly louder and more annoying, so eventually he snaps “if I say yes, will you shut up and let me work?!” And Hawkmoth says “yes! I’ll even help you, as long as you help me in return” and Tim says “Fine, I accept. There, you happy?” “Extremely” and Ladybug swings in just in time to see the bubbles overtake Tim’s surprised face.

Ladybug prepares to fight him, but the newly made Delegator engages just enough to get out of the cafe, then disappears bat-style. Marinette looks for him of course, but she can’t even find signs of what he’s doing, so she calls Chat for help and continues to search.

Meanwhile, Delegator has a plan, because of course he does. First he sends a text to Bart to meet him ASAP, but when Impulse runs in, he slips on the pre-slicked floor and crashes in the far wall, which gives Tim enough time to blast him. “Your job is to help me get the others, and to make sure no one, especially the Flash, runs away.” Delegator tells Bart, who is now under his control.

After that he sends out an SOS to rest of the team, who respond to his call, only to also get blasted, with help from Bart as necessary. With that done, he tells them to go cause a ruckus in a nearby park, and proceeds to send an alert to the Justice League, saying the team members had been mind controlled and were now causing havoc in Paris (all true). Delegator is, of course, waiting for them at the nearest zeta beam, and manages to blast most of the advance party, except the Flash, who’s quick enough to get away, until Bart trips him that is, dazing him for long enough to get hit. At that point Ladybug and Chat Noir show up, but Tim just tells the Flash “get me to the others” and they’re gone before the two teens can blink.

“Was that the Flash?” “Yep” “following the Akuma’s orders?” “Yep” “and did the Akuma just say others, as in other members of the Justice League?” “Yep” “we’re so screwed” “yep”

While the duo come to terms with how absolutely fucked they are and rush off the gather more miraculous and back up of their own, Delegator had been brought back to the group of adult heroes, one of which being Aquaman. Turning to the the rest, he says “your job is the go fight the team, but don’t actually defeat them. I want it believable, but these are our allies, so don’t hurt them too badly.”

To Aquaman, he says “you’re gonna get closer to the battle and wait for Ladybug and Chat Noir to show up, at which point you’ll call the league. Make sure Diana is there when you tell them that you need back up, but not to attack the two local heroes who are helping you, Ladybug and Chat Noir. She should understand the weight of that statement and convince the other two of the big three to come help, at which point you are going to be ‘attacked’ by Impulse and have your call cut. Join the fight after that.” To the Flash, he says “you’re gonna be my ride. If Ladybug or Chat Noir get too close, you get me away. I don’t wanna engage them til I have the majority of the league with me.”

Back in his lair, Hawkmoth is stunned that his Akuma managed to lure in and subdue a good portion of the Justice League, then becomes giddy when the full implications sink in. “Good job, Delegator. Now, get me the miraculous!”

“Shut up, Hawkmoth. I’m not done yet. If anyone could defeat me at this point, it’d be the Big Three, so I have to make sure I get them first. Then I can get you your stupid jewelry. But none of that will happen if you don’t shut up!” Hawkmoth is more than a little miffed at the disrespect, but figures he’ll suffer it if it means his victory will come that much sooner.

Meanwhile Ladybug and Chat Noir each have merged their miraculous with others- Chat with the horse, Ladybug with the mouse to split herself in three, then with dragon, snake, and ladybug of course. After that, she calls her lucky charm, which brings her- “a giant tube of lube?!?” All three aspects of her proceed to turn red in unison, all snapping at Chat to shut up, who can’t even respond cuz he’s too busy cackling.

After getting over her mortification, Snakinette starts her second chance, while Buginette looks around for how she could POSSIBLY USE A GIANT TUBE OF LUBE, I MEAN REALLY HOW IS THAT- oh, so that’s how. She smirks, then says, “Chat! Destroy the ground!”

At this point, all the controlled heroes are ‘fighting’ in the street while they wait for the Big Three to show up. When it crumbles, it drops them into the catacombs that were directly below it, effectively separating everyone and making it much harder for the Akuma to see and therefore control everything.

Buginette and Dragonette are about to start searching for the Akuma when Snakinette drops down from her vantage point and says “the Akuma is over there, in that corner. You have to hurry, if the big three show up, it’s all over.” Buginette looks at her in horror and says “how many times have we done this?” And Snakinette sighs and says “too many. Now go!” Then shoves Chat’s tail belt that she’d collected earlier in her hands and runs off.

Dragonette uses wind dragon to rush her and Buginette just around the corner Snakinette pointed out, at which point Buginette spreads the lube all over the floor, then hides in the shadows, winking at Chat Noir, who’s hiding against the other wall.

Dragonette uses lightning dragon to appear behind the Flash and Delegator before he can see her coming, and says “you’ve been hiding from me, but I’ve got you now!” The Flash picks up Delegator and runs away from Dragonette, but in doing so he runs directly into the lube, slipping and falling and dropping Delegator in the process. As soon as the Akuma is out of his arms, Chat portals the Flash to the middle of the ocean and drops him underwater, making him unable to run across the top to get back.

Now temporarily alone, Delegator opens his mouth to order the nearest ally to help him while trying to blast Chat Noir, but at that moment Buginette loops Chat’s belt around his mouth and ties it tight, leaving the Akuma unable to give orders. She grabs the computer that had been under his arm the whole time and dances away from him, trusting chat to watch her back. She breaks the computer and releases the Akuma, quickly capturing and purifying it.

Before she can cast her cure, Chat leans into her and snickers, “lube and bondage, my lady? Seems you’ve been hiding something from me.” Buginette and Dragonette both punch his arms so hard, he’s glad the cure hasn’t been cast yet. Still glaring at Chat, Buginette grabs the lube and throws it into the air, yelling “miraculous ladybug!” Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman arrive on the scene just in time to see a wave of ladybugs and pink light sweep over the area, leaving behind a whole crowd of confused superheroes and one dazed Tim drake.

After witnessing the victorious pound it, they’re greatly amused to see one of the tiny local heroes turn to Tim and say “great, now that that’s over, kindly get the fuck out of my city, and bring your super friends with you. I don’t know how you got them here in the first place, and frankly I don’t wanna know. Just go before we drop your ass in the middle of the ocean like we did with the Flash.”

Tim, looking vaguely (and rightly) terrified, says “yes ma’am” the proceeds to start shooing heroes off. They try to refuse, all being greatly confused as to what happened, when Buginette lets out a shrill whistle that gets all of their attention.

“I will talk to them” she gestures to the Big Three, still standing to the side and looking vaguely amused “and explain the situation and what happened, as long as they can keep their emotions under control.” As she says the last part, she turns to the three heroes in question and glares at them, waiting for their agreement before she turns back to the rest, bright and cheerful once more.

“Well, now that that’s settled, get the fuck out of my city.” The crowd of heroes begins to disperse, still confused, but cowed by the tiny yet fierce girl before them. Said girl turns back to the three. “Great! Now, I’ll meet you at the top of the Eiffel Tower in half an hour. I’ll tell you everything then. See you later!” Then she pulls out her yo-yo and swings away.

Notes:

If anyone wants to take this idea and flesh it out into a real story, you are more than welcome to! Just please credit me and send me a link to it so I can read it.