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Chapter Text

Childe has always been a thorough thinker, no matter what everybody says to prove the otherwise.

Childe thinks every step in a battle; he enjoys that brief moment it took for him to analyze and find the best way to destroy whoever had have the courage to fight him. He always honors the bold desire of all of them accordingly.

Tartaglia also thinks each word that’s going to get past his lips. He has learned through the years that even the shortest of them could be too much information to the right ears. He has mastered this ability, one of his many prideful achievements. To be able to find valuable information as inconspicuous as possible, to speak only to those who can help him through the mission he’s requested to finish at the moment. The eleventh harbinger had created a character that excel for his charisma, open (but dangerous) smiles and easygoing personality. None of this, of course, means that he isn’t as hazardous as his title claim him to be. Silent but dire. The very young Fatui soldier of the Cryo Archon, Tartaglia.

Ajax often finds himself thinking of his family in Snezhnaya, in all of his younger and older brothers and sisters. He would never admit it out loud, but he misses them so much it physically hurt him sometimes. He misses the heat of the hearth burning in the dining room almost every day of the year. He misses the nagging of his older sister, the slightly bullying of his older brother and the cheerfulness of the two younger ones. Ajax, sometimes, thinks how easily he would give up all of this soldier world to go back there. To have peace and quiet.

This is also a recurrent thought dancing in his head: how tired he is.

Childe doesn’t dislike the fighting, the bloodshed or the executions heavy on his shoulders; Tartaglia and Childe both find an exhilarating pleasure in all of these things, a bloodthirst, some had said. But, though a big deal of achievement had been accomplished under the Tsaritsa commands as his eleventh harbinger, something is always amiss. Maybe because from a very young age he wields anything that touches his hands as a lethal weapon, was even blessed with the ability to cast and shape the very same water that surrounded him. A very, very dangerous trait in his tainted hands and twisted mind.

Since the tender age of fourteen, Ajax, Tartaglia has been a machine in a war that was none even his own.

Perhaps that was the reason that now he finds things that in his early years as a Fatui could’ve had ignite an ire and fury in him, to be now just… tiresome.

Tartaglia had devoted himself in body and soul to the Tsaritsa's cause.

As a child, Ajax remember his mother always telling him about the outside world. She talked about places where the sun shone bright and warm, so warm that it could turn the skin into gold. Ajax is told about many Gods because his mother loved to talk about them. She wanted him to know that there were many other deities in addition to the Tsaritsa, whose love had morphed through the years, and was now a very cold remnant of her soft smile and tender eyes.

“Not every god is like our Tsaritsa, dear Ajax. Some are very gentle, kind and warm-hearted as the sun. But” she used to say very serious. “, gods are very selfish creatures. They do not care for anything aside their own benefit, after all. Nor have second guesses about the sacrifices needed to accomplish them. Us humans are just disposables pawns in a big chess game between divinities. However, be a part in their plans is one of the biggest honor we can ask for.”

At that moment, Ajax thought his mother just wanted to tell him about a fairytale of a faraway land with gentle Archons, with a spec of real advice in between. After all, pamper a child in Snezhnaya too much could be seen as something bad. All the children need to grow up strong to survive, as his father used to say with his fellows on the market.

Ajax understand her words when, a couple of weeks later, he was delivered to the Fatui army by the hand of his own father.

His mother only wanted him to believe that it could be an escape. That, even if the Zapolyarny Palace was as cruel as a winter naked on the eye of a storm, her ruler crueler still, Ajax could find happiness outside.

But never by the hand of a God.

After all, they all are very, very selfish creatures.

When years passed and as the Eleventh Harbinger he was assigned to a mission in the faraway Liyue, Childe thought his silent prayers had been heard.

In the land of sun, commerce and trade, Childe had cross paths with a man who was nothing less than a prayer heard, without any doubt. A man that carries himself with a noblesse enviable even to kings and emperors; a man who seem to have been the ruler of millennia and who had learned the darkness and light of the world throughout his life.

This man knows Liyue as the palm of his hand and never stays quiet in front of an injustice. A walking encyclopedia he’s fond of calling him just to see the dismay in the other’s face. Childe thinks this man never have had the need to speak twice. He gives him this feeling, you see, of someone whose request and word will be respected no matter what it is.

At first it was only a professional relationship, a business associated. The consultant of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor and the diplomat of Snezhnaya.

It’s not difficult to say that relationship didn’t stay under that label for too long.

Maybe were the too many meals they shared, perhaps even the baritone of Zhongli’s voice, trapping him with every word as he speaks. It never mattered if he was talking about the boring and most forgotten traditions of Liyue, Childe was under a spell the second that mouth starts to rumble. He wouldn’t discard all the more so that it had happened for the unbelievable talent this man had to forget his wallet. Or perhaps was the soft touch of his hand covered in leather, correcting the wobbly posture of Childe’s fingers with chopsticks. The ever-so-slightly smile in his face every time.

“Are you laughing at me, sensei?”

“I would never.”

Childe found in this funeral consultant, this man with long hair of dark silk and eyes that shine like melted gold (as his mother used to tell in her stories), peace. He’s not the eleventh harbinger at his side, nor a soldier, nor a diplomatic with a fake duty in Liyue. He’s just Childe, sometimes Ajax, but never someone who leaves a heavy feeling in his chest. He let himself laugh honestly, eat with a light heart, listen and learn about Liyue by Zhongli's baritone reciting him the (to Childe) weird customs and weirder deities that protect the land.

Childe let himself trust blindly in this man.

Something that makes Tartaglia recoils inside. Trust wasn’t something he must give to anyone but the Tsaritsa.

But Childe isn’t surprised when the few professional encounters become more, exploiting his foreigner ass as an excuse to make use of Zhongli as a tour guide. Any excuse is good just to hoard any kind of attention he can of this man. Is pathetic, of course he knows better, he knows that getting involved with someone when his mission to steal the Geo's Archon gnosis is still unending it’s very risky. Many things could go wrong, if Signora gets wind of this Childe would never hear the end of it.

But.

Zhongli.

Man, who was he kidding? Zhongli could very much be his new religion. He had fallen so deep for this man; it would be pointless to try and fake the otherwise.

So he doesn’t.

He dives into Zhongli and swims in the warm feeling this man induces in him. Like a hot chocolate in a very cold day, like a fluffy blanket on the couch on a stormy afternoon.

Like the gentle and all-consuming love he was never permitted to feel.

At Zhongli’s side, Childe can be Ajax, not the young machine war, but the poor kid whose childhood was taken away early. He’s pampered, kissed and hugged. He's bathed in so many sweet words on a daily basis, that sometimes, it makes Childe forgot all the bad things he had done. With Zhongli praises tickling in his ears, Childe feels like a normal human being in love for the first time.

And he thinks, as he always does.

He thinks in how this is a life he could very much comes to like.

He thinks in how, after his mission, they could begin a new life. Or Childe at least. He doesn’t know what else he can do besides kill, but he’s sure there could be a thing or two. Maybe this was really a gift of Celestia for all the bad things that happened to him. An opportunity to start anew. Maybe this was what his mother tried to make him believe all those years ago.

And Childe knows he’s going to do it, he’s going to stay here and live a peaceful life of warm weather and so many different blends of tea. His first clue being the fact that he decided not to release Osial, the very same work he was send here to do. But Childe couldn’t. He wouldn’t risk so many innocent lives after all this time knowing details about them.

He was going to retrieve the Gnosis from the Exuvia at the Golden House, there would be no harm done except perhaps a little bruises for the Millelith watching the doors. Well, they are soldiers, it couldn’t hurt that much. Once he had the Gnosis he would deliver it to Snezhnaya with a resign letter addressed to the Tsaritsa. His job complete and his new life were all the reason he needs on his mind. Easy peasy.

But for all the thought Childe does, sometimes, things didn’t go accord to his calculations.

Because the Exuvia was empty.

Because the traveler makes him use his Foul Legacy, and even then, she was the winner.  

Because Osial was released.

So many things escape from his hands, and now, standing almost frozen in the Northland Bank, another one finds a way to leak out.

Just a few steps ahead of him, not even casting a glance to his side, stands Zhongli. No, that’s not it, Morax, Rex Lapis, the very much alive Geo Archon, whose Gnosis Childe should have been stealing.

He talks about a master plan of retirement, a contract with the Tsaritsa in exchange for his Gnosis and the independence of his people. The shock in the face of the traveler and his fairy companion is something Childe can so relate to right now. But he hides it very well.

Tartaglia barely register Signora and Morax exchanging words, not even the deep baritone that he came to know so well able to permeate through the molasses in his head.

Zhongli, the same Zhongli who knew to pray so many sweet nothings in dark nights sharing the same bedroom, speaks now in front of him with the nonchalance of someone who doesn’t owe an explanation. As if he didn't hold Childe’s very naked trust in his hand, and was crushing it now mercilessly.

Childe sees a God, or ex-God, he doesn’t fucking know, emanating every single bit of the selfish authority his mother always told him of as a kid. The image of the smiling and soothing man he fell in love with, crumbling slowly and painfully.

With the corner of his eyes he can see Lumine still exuding the astonishment that Childe cannot for dear life show. She seems debating between punching Zhongli in the face for tricking her, or slice her sword through Signora chest. Which, honestly, Childe wouldn’t oppose to neither.

“The Tsaritsa awaits for your return, Tartaglia. Your duties here are finished.” Childe hears Signora says, and laughs without humor.

“Duties, you say. It seems to me that I was not needed here at all.” He tries to hide the bitterness in his voice, because of course. Of course the Cryo Archon would send her favorite Harbinger, one that was blessed with her same element, to do the real job. Signora was known as the Tsaritsa favorite since forever, after all, it came as not surprising.

Signora speaks, something about places and formalities and things Childe is honestly tired of hear.

And as he tunes out Signora, his mother words came to him once more, “being on the plans of Gods as their pawns is still a great honor, my dear.”

Bullshit.

He’s been used by his goddess.

He’s been used by his lover, another god.

And he’s so tired of them. 

Tartaglia wants to kill. Ajax wants to cry.

Childe just laughs.

Gods, he’s so fucking tired. The burn in his chest is twisting so fiercely, it stings the corner of his eyes.

The ones who devoted their life to a beautiful but merciless goddess of ice, to a war not theirs, and to a goal not known.

The ones who trusted their heart to a man who they thought were the light at the end of the tunnel, and now see the same man squeezing their short-lived new dream of a normal life together.

Childe can know Signora is talking to him, her demanding voice impatient, it seems it’s not the first time she says his name without a reply. He’s tempted to stir her with a witty response, but he finds uncapable of faking, as believable as it sounds.

Slow steps make their way to the front door of the Golden House, not caring for the voice almost screaming his name. Tartaglia doesn’t look behind, he doesn’t spare a second to glance the amber eyes that he knows, are following his moves. He always knows when Zhongli is watching him, but this time at least, it doesn't matter. It’s only when his body is crossing the threshold that he gives a response.

Signora, who had turned his back at them to make her departure, stumble when a water spear flies from behind just millimeters away from her cheek, drawing a thin line of blood from it. Her furious eyes have only a few seconds to assimilate what had happened.

In the wall ahead of her, Tartaglia’s spear is indented in the concrete. At the tip, a round, violet crystal is cracking as shattered glass, losing its light. And just behind the broken delusion, the fatui red mask crumbles at the ground as two halves.

Zhongli’s eyes were the only ones who spotted another thing in the discarded Fatui possessions. A small, shining red stone that Childe always had hanging from his left ear.

A gift Zhongli had chosen for him specifically, after a lazy afternoon of too much food and drink at Liuli Pavilion a few months ago.

The message was as clear as water, and Childe trust in Signora capabilities to deliver it accordingly.

The place of the Eleventh Harbinger was once again available.

Tartaglia was not a member of the Fatui anymore.

Childe is forsaking every god that had cross path with him.

Chapter Text

Ten days after Childe’s resignation as a Fatui dog, a vast repertoire of versions about what had happened exactly had started to round the city.

You have those who say that Childe was tricked by the Fatui army, and after the Osial accident, he decided to take a step to the side.

Those who firmly affirm they knew all along Childe was troubles, and that he was very much involved in the fiasco.

The ones who say that he fought against his Fatui comrades in order to save Liyue.

But Lumine’s favorite, of course, is the one who says that Childe thought of committing treason to the Tsaritsa long ago thanks to a certain relationship with a certain funeral consultant.

Even if after the accident those two were never spotted together again.

It was exactly one of these rumors that had put a commission on the Guild, one that Lumine is right now heading to complete.

The assignment isn’t anything hard, actually, it’s more a task of raid than fight. According to the Guild, several camps of Hilichurls were evaporated in the last weeks, and though that was very good per se, they were preoccupied that something worse was the cause of it. So, Lumine was sent to investigate.

It came as not a surprise at all when, arriving at Mt. Tianheng, she spots a familiar hair the color of autumn leaves. It’s been weeks since the last time she saw him, being that a few days after the Osial incident. He didn’t stop to talk that time, and though he wasn’t wearing the crimson fatui mask on his head anymore, the deadly glare he had when crossing coincidentally at the harbor was enough to keep her at a safe distance still.

“Lumine look, look! It’s Childe!” Paimon screams, floating above Lumine. For some reason, the little fairy had developed certain fondness for the ex-Fatui. When the traveler asked for her sudden change of heart, Paimon said that after the revelation of Zhongli being the Geo Archon, Childe had looked so shattered (here, Lumine thinks Paimon took liberties in describing him, but she let her continue). She said something about how even if all the bad rumors about him turned out to be true, Paimon thinks that nobody deserves to get deceived by someone who is considered a friend. Much less a friend as close as Zhongli seemed to be for Childe.

“It’s as if you betrayed Paimon after everything that we went through together!” She had said, openly upset, her little feet stomping on the air as if she was walking over an insect.

Lumine had to bite his tongue to say that probably was something more akin to a lovers spat than that of a friends, but nevertheless, she thinks the same as Paimon. Zhongli’s reasons might have been honest; a hard decision made after a long time reflecting of the broad range of things that could have gone wrong. It was a necessity for the new future of Liyue, stepping out as their God after such a long time couldn’t have been an easy decision, and however…

No, Lumine shakes her head. It wasn’t her place to judge. Everybody has their reasons to the things they do and what they sacrifice in exchange for it. A meager human like her couldn’t begin to fathom the heavy duty of a deity. If she thinks how awfully inconsiderate and cruel Zhongli was for having manipulated his relationship with Childe, using him as no more than a tool, whatever kind of relationship they had, she would never voice it.

Not in Zhongli's face at least.

And maybe the only reason as to why, is because that day at the Northland Bank, once they were alone and all explanations have been given, a flicker of something unreadable on the Archon’s face made her think that perhaps, Zhongli didn't have all the possible resolutions of his plan in consideration. Because the instant that Childe closed the door behind him, Zhongli seemed to realized he had done something very, very bad, but couldn't properly grasp what.

“Ack!” The high pitch scream of Paimon on his left makes Lumine instinctively bend over, just in time to dodge what it seems like a Ruin's Guard core. “Oi! Be more careful, would you! You almost rip Paimon’s head with that thing!” the traveler hears Paimon shouts angry, but sees her get close to Childe either way.

Childe, who incidentally is finishing the slaughter of the last Ruin Guard, throwing it in an alarmingly big pile of them. Lumine counts seven just by glance, without the ones buried underneath. Childe looks at them for a moment with a distant gaze, holding tightly what it seems to be a deep cut over his right arm. It’s only when Paimon is floating over his head that his eyes seem to regain focus.

“Lumine, little fairy, what a surprise. What are you doing here?” He asks, putting a water bubble over the oozing cut. Up this close, she can see the other many injuries Childe’s body has. He’s not using his Fatui uniform, for obvious reasons, but the soft red shirt he’s wearing instead is not very helpful at protect him at all.

“You, apparently” Lumine says with a little smile. “The Guild was worried about the sudden disappearance of Hilichurls camps, they thought a worse threat was causing it. They weren’t wrong though.”

“Auch.” Childe laughs shortly, the simple gesture attracting Lumine’s attention to the certainly dark bags under his eyes, she asks herself idly if it’s due to the ashen color of his normally bright skin, or a real lack of sleep. Maybe both.

“How long have you been here?” The implied question is clear, how many days has it been of you fighting here alone?

Childe makes a noncommittal noise, shaking some dust of his shirt. Clicking his tongue when he grabs a snippet of it hanging from his arm. “Not enough for you to worry about, young lady” Several is all Lumine hears. “Besides, I have a great deal of free time right now, so this is more like a hobby, really.”

“You have an awful choice of a hobby” she says mockingly, getting interrupted by her companion.

“You should rest more!” Naggers Paimon reproachful. “Lumine kicked your ass real hard last time, are you sure you’re okay to fight yet?”

“Paimon!” Lumine scolds, but the fairy just shrugs offended. She wasn’t lying!

“It’s okay, she’s not wrong” concedes Childe with a hint of a smile, Paimon just makes this gesture towards Lumine, as if telling told you so! Lumine still gives her the stinky eye. “But I do am a little tired anyway, so if you two aren’t busy what about making me company through lunch? My treat, of course.”

The traveler is kind enough to not tell him that it would be more of a midafternoon snack, since is almost four o’clock. Paimon just smiles and shrieks excitedly, delighted with the idea of free food. However, a short glance at the man as he tries to walk straight is enough to make her change her mind.

“Or—” Lumine says quickly. “I can make use of the cores of this machines, if that’s okay with you, and in exchange we can cook something as a thank you! After all, you did make me win easy mora with this commission.”

She throws a meaningful glare to Paimon’s side, who is crestfallen over the idea of losing her free banquet, but seems to understand the message, her mouth forming a funny “O” shape, she then nods cheerfully. “Lumine and I are great chefs! We traveled a lot with Xiangling after all.”

Childe stands there, with his legs slightly wobbling, but after a few seconds smiles honestly. “Sounds very good to me, if you cook the same way as you fight, then it’s a deal. I saw a hoarders camp a little further from here, it’s empty now, so we can use that.”

They leave after collecting the cores of the Ruin Guards, which were twelve, by the way. All the while Paimon whispering anxiously on her ear the same question Lumine was asking herself, how much time did it take Childe to defeat them all? Surely this isn’t the job of a lazy afternoon, a mere hobby as he claimed. Besides, judging for the poor condition he’s in, obviously he’s been in here for more than strictly necessary. Not wanting to meddle (yet), she makes light talk while walking, her feet a bit slower than normal, trying to keep the same pace as Childe. She tells him about the new dish Xiangling has in mind and how she fights with her dad to let her put it in the menu. Childe doesn’t need to hear that talk to know Chef Mao has made up some excuse to denied the request. If he remembers correctly, the last time he had tasted a new original dish of Xiangling, he was indisposed for three consecutive days. Later he found out that he hadn’t been the only one, and that it probably was due to the Jueyun Chili mixed up with slime concentrate.

Childe hears attentive, but when smiling, his eyes never seem to be on the same page. There’s this little grimace he does when the road is very steep, his brow scrunches ridiculously, Lumine never saw him make a similar face, like if he would been lifting a high amount of weight, not even when he used his Foul Legacy. He looks awful, to be honest. Quite a few cuts over his face and deeper ones adorning his arms and chest. The slash splayed over his back seems specially vicious and makes her wince when she spots it.

Once they reach the camp she's quick to assure Childe she can handle everything and promptly orders him to help chopping some vegetables for the food she has in mind, while he sits down. In fact, Lumine takes the time to craft two geo pillars to uses as backrest. A testament of how tired Childe must be is the easiness in which he accepts her demands, almost crashing against the geo pillar. 

The food doesn’t take too long, soon they are gulping down the Lotus seed soup and Lumine doesn’t overlook how Childe’s face regains a little bit of color after eating. Maybe he was hungrier that what she thought. Childe, in fact, is trying to remember himself when was the last time he ate, while asking for seconds that Paimon delivers with a big smile. He hears them chatting while spooning a bit more.

“Told you we were great chefs!”

“Paimon, you just lit the fire.”

“Hey! A well fed fire is the secret to a perfect meal!”

“If you say so.”

The conversation is fond though she's clearly teasing the fairy, and something in the playful banter way they talk to each other makes Ajax think of his family. Tonia and Teucer have a relationship so similar to the Traveler and his floaty friend.

Maybe it was the tiredness speaking, maybe the pungent sting on his back, or his belly warm and well-fed, but he would like to tell the traveler a little more about himself.

About the forgotten Ajax, who never had shown in front of her, or anybody in Liyue except for—

“—de. Childe!” He jumps when the piercing little voice talks to his left.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Paimon puff out her cheeks, hands over her tiny waist. “Lumine just asked you what are you planning to do now?”

Oh, that is a very good question indeed. “I don’t know, frankly. I didn’t have a retirement plan when I left, it was… something very impromptu. It was lucky of me that the news gave me enough time to withdrawn my bank account at least. I’m a wandering man, but one with mora on his pocket.”

“Why don’t you apply for a job in Liyue? I’m sure there must be one that’s fitted for you.”

Childe scoffs lightly. “I don’t think they want the Fatui dog that almost drown their city working for them. I’m fine as a wanderer, thank you.”

Lumine stares at him unnervingly. “Childe… we know it wasn’t you who set Osial free,” the redhead opens his mouth taken aback. “And if you ask me now how do we know, I’m gonna feel extremely insulted.” She adds, seeing the intention on Childe’s eyes.

It was obvious for numerous reasons. The most important, comes in the form of a certain Adeptus of teal hair that saw him helping people withdraw from the battle scene, taking them to a safe place while Osial was rising from the ocean. She doesn’t believe in him creating such a risk to the citizens just to take the time to help them at the end. Besides, once Lumine saw La Signora at the Northland Bank everything seemed to click together.

Childe doesn’t say anything for a while. He never would have thought that someone vouched for his innocence on the matter. I mean, a Fatui Harbinger was assured troubles all around Teyvat, why would anyone believe that he, the Eleventh Harbinger, didn’t had anything to do?

Lumine seems to read right through him, because she says, “There were several people who stand up in your name, you know? Chef Mao was one of them, I heard that he forbade two women to ever came close to his restaurant when he heard them talking ill about you.”

Childe listens astonished, his head making it impossible to wrap around what the traveler says. Why? Why would anybody choose to help him? Him, a Fatui tool that was nothing more than a disposable pawn in a stupid and bigger game. He was supposed to let Osial free. He even had the seal! he was doing the job he was sent here to do very properly. When was it then, when did he stepped out of line, to make people take a like to him? Was for his carefree expenditure of mora? Liyuen citizens love mora, after all. Or maybe it was fear, anybody would be watchful of what it came out of their mouth if they fear the Fatui army would go for their throat.

He is parting his lips to say something akin when Paimon beats him, “Zhongli did too! We were there when he had a quarrel with the Qixing, they wanted to make you the culprit only because you were a Fatui! Can you believe it? The guts!” She says overly angry, still chewing some vegetables. “You should’ve seen him though, I mean, he’s an airhead normally, but he closed their mouths so quick with all this fancy words that make Paimon’s head hurt, I thought lady Ningguang was going to throw a rock at his face for the insolence.”

And Ajax really wishes he could have seen that. The simple, forgetful funeral parlor consultant standing up to the Qixing? That’s not something you see every day. But thinking it better, he also suspects they must know somehow that Zhongli is Rex Lapis. I mean, the man has zero abilities to hide his presence. Childe really doubts Zhongli could have lived so comfortably if he always forgets to bring mora with him, especially with his fancy taste for things. He’s sure that the people, the Qixing at least, must be aware of his true identity and that’s why he had made it for so long without dying from starvation or something.

And even so, he still managed to fool Childe.

He can’t help a sardonic scoffs to leave his throat. And here he was, thinking he was the one deceiving the Liyuen citizens.

Ajax nor Childe can find a single reason as to why Zhongli, Morax, would defend his persona. After all, wasn’t he just another sheer step in his big retirement plan?

“I think… he really is sorry for lying to you” Lumine chides in, slowly. As if she was waiting this exact cue to talk about Zhongli. “I don’t want to meddle in matters that are not mine, but if you can just take my humble point of view… I myself wouldn’t waste my time looking after someone that I do not care about. He also has been searching for you, you know?”

No, of course he doesn’t know. How would he if he’s been avoiding him since then. The annoying blend of feelings that knock him up whenever he thinks about Zhongli are enough to make him crawl his skin inside out. He misses him so fucking much, but at the same time he’s sure that if he sees him right now, most probably scenario is that a water blade pierce through Zhongli multiple times.

Tartaglia and Childe are very vengeful creatures, after all.

“Did I ever tell you I fell in the Abyss once?” If Lumine is taken aback for the sudden change of topic, she doesn’t let it show. She puts down her plate, slowly shaking her head “When I was a child, I was invested in hero stories, my parents used to tell me one every night. My real name, Ajax, is based on a hero from one of them, in fact. One day, when I was fourteen, I thought it would be very cool to be a real hero, so I took a rusty sword and some bread and got myself lost in the woods.”

Childe remembers that day so vividly. The green wool scarf secured around his neck, the heavy layers of clothes protecting him of the cold. In Snezhnaya is always cold, but that particularly day was a crude winter one, when the sun is up and bright only for a few short hours before dark gulps down the whole city. But Ajax never was one to fear, he was a brave boy, as his mother always used to tell him.

“It was winter, so there wasn’t too much light to help me, but I had a torch, and I thought it was going to be okay with just that. My plan was only to kill a deer or a wild boar to bring to my family; winters in Snezhnaya are known for being hostile as few, which means my father couldn’t always go to work to bring us food. And we had a very big family. So, it seemed like a good idea why not help a little? It was only when I fell into a hole behind this big root, that I understood why they never let me go to the woods alone.”

Childe laughs a little, grimly, the memory of vertigo as he fell, and fell, and keep falling into a bottomless pit was something that he never quite managed to forgot.

“In here I was lost only three days, but in the Abyss the time doesn’t travel the same way. There, I spent three months fighting for my life. I saw things I wish to forget, but they still reach me sometimes when I sleep. I also met a woman; she was the one who taught me how to fight and the only reason I made it out alive. Well, not quite, I died a bunch of times actually, but in the Abyss you never die for real, it’s like a shock wave burning every cell in your body and then… you’re there again, fighting again, surviving again. An eternal loop.”

Skirk had been the anchor that helped Childe to keep standing. She wasn’t nice and soft as his mother; she never patted his head or sang a catchy tune whenever he hurt himself. Of course, it made a lot of sense, after all he was injured every second of that hell. If he tries very hard, he can remember the sickening crack of his bones being broken over and over again. The desperation for air while trapped inside a Hydro Mage bubble, how his lungs burned and sometimes, how he never made it to that breath. He remembers the electric wave, like lightning, running every iota on his body and then, he was outside of the bubble coughing through the memory and facing a different creature. But Skirk always was there when he came back, always, so he never felt quite alone. Something for what he was more than thankful.

Ajax can also remember the day he stumbled against the same crack that had sent him to the Abyss, how Skirk never thought it twice before grabbing him like he was nothing more than a toy and throwed him up to the real world once more. She never said goodbye, only that the next time she saw him, she expects a man that could keep up with her in a fight.

Ajax thinks in Skirk a lot.

“Once I came back, obviously I wasn't the same child my parents lost just three days ago. My head was a mess, I distrusted my own family and shadow. I craved blood; the adrenaline of a good fight itched under my skin all the time. So, you can imagine it wasn’t easy for my parents. I had three brothers and sisters, and two more on the way. They couldn’t cope with me anymore, so… they did what they seemed more fit. They sent me to the Fatui army.”

He hears a sharp intake of air, but doesn’t look up to know which one of them is. Both Lumine and Paimon are eerily quiet.

“It wasn’t easy, I got beaten up at a whole new level, but I got revenge at the end. That’s how I attracted the attention of one particular Harbinger, and the rest is history. Once I was a member of them, I went to live at The Zapolyarny Palace, which is a cruel place, it reflects the kind of love the Tsaritsa gives to her people. I always wanted to get away from there. I wanted to run, find some faraway place where I could start anew, maybe bring my family with me over time. Get my own family… but my head never ceased to remember me how tainted my hands were. I killed so many people, I stole the happiness and family from many, so why should I be allowed to have one for my own, right?”

Childe startles slightly when Lumine’s body heat sticks to him, her floaty companion also looking at him from above Lumine’s head with her big, poignant eyes. There must be something written on Childe’s own face, because when their eyes meet she gives him this tiny, sympathetic smile. Childe takes a deep breath to steady himself before to continue.

“At that time, I thought that as long as I could help my family survive that lonely place, I would do it. It didn’t matter if the Fatui army was a nightmare in flesh, I could handle it. But then… I was sent here, to steal the Gnosis of the Geo Archon. Probably one of the more important missions I could ask for. And then, this stupid, naïve Snezhnayan boy meets this stupid, Liyuen man. And all my self-control went overboard. A short time in this city of sun and warmth were enough for me to forget the blood in my hands and the very much important mission I carried. Why should I destroy something that gave me so much happiness in so little time, for a Goddess that only showed me indifference and misery?”

Thinking it now, it’s almost funny how easily Zhongli turned over all the things Childe had known until then. He, who learnt to sleep with an open eye even with his so called comrades, let himself be read as an open book by this man. His easy way of talk, the never-ending knowledge about every single thing Childe asked and the one he does not too. At first, he had introduced himself as Tartaglia, the diplomat Harbinger of Snezhnaya that needed help to get accustomed to Liyue and his culture in order to form a bond between both cities properly. It’s a mystery to him even now when that changed. When Childe stopped to be Tartaglia and started to be just Childe, or when Childe started to show Ajax in between. He was something completely new in front of Zhongli; not Ajax, never him again, having lost that kind and innocence that the name carried originally, but it was a loyal replica of what he could have been if Ajax never had fell in the Abyss.

If he would have had a chance to be normal.

“This single man was enough to demolish the façade I made up upon years of hard work. He walked through every single one of them as thin air, and I… I let him. I wanted him to. He was offering me an escape route. He was like water in the desert, my freedom of a world in which I was tossed in without having the chance to fight back. The Tsaritsa is well-known for manipulate people to her own volition, so it wasn’t a surprise really when Signora showed up. She’s her favorite, you see” he says conspiratorial, almost jokingly. Even if what’s he’s telling has made Lumine and Paimon got still, painfully quiet. “He was—” Childe feels something stuck on his throat suddenly, he clears it softly before continuing. “—my first friend. I never had the chance to make one back in Snezhnaya. And he was one of the reasons for which I thought of staying here, you know.”

A friend isn’t the exact word he wants to use. Childe never had one, yes, but even he is sure normal friends don’t go around making out as horny teenagers on every slightly dark place, sleeping together, promising so many sweet nothings.

Yeah, in Childe’s head, Zhongli was never just a friend.

“I trusted in him with my life.” He adds at last quietly, like he didn’t want anybody knowing about this. Childe don’t want people laughing at him for being so stupid and blind. All those years of training going to waste just for this man with eyes of molten drops of sun. “I, who never could trust not even in myself after coming out of the Abyss, trusted in him. I planned of ditching out my whole mission under the risk to be called a traitor, because I trusted him.”

Lumine can hear the allegation that didn’t come out. “And he lied to you…”

Ajax smiles awry. “He was a lie from the start.”

“Childe—"

“It’s okay” he says quickly, the forgotten plate of soup, fortunately empty, slides off his legs as he stretched them. “I never committed in gods entirely, it would’ve been hilarious if I ended up paired with one, anyway.”

Ajax is sure his words are supposed to sound as a joke, but judging for the faces of his companions, they don't share the thought. He has nothing to add, so he just wallows in the refreshing sensation of his chest releasing a weight of years. Lumine is the first person in hearing about his life so honestly. Not even his family is aware of the real job Childe did under the Harbinger title, of course they weren’t an option to vent.

He blinks when Paimon floats slowly, very slowly, until she finally reaches Childe’s head and patted him carefully, as if she was caressing a small kitten. He tries to ask her what is she doing, but Paimon has her lips squeezed, her brows all scrunched up and he’s sure her eyes are a lot shinier than normal. Lumine never saw Paimon make a face like that. She would have thought Paimon was going to scream something, never one to be quiet when something upsets her, but this reaction is new.

A stream of wind blows slightly harder, and a soft smell of Qingxin flower makes the traveler look up just in time to watch the figure of Xiao disappearing from afar.

Huh. Maybe it was the day for strange occurrences.

“You saw him too?”

“What?” Lumine says eloquently.

“That green imp,” Childe explains, giving Paimon enough space to cuddle in his shoulder. Very carefully avoiding the cut in there in the process. “He’s been watching me for a while now. I thought it was me going crazy, it’s good to see I’m not.”

“His name is Xiao. He’s an Adeptus friend of us.” Lumine clarifies. “He fought with us against Osial.”

She very pointedly avoids to say how much he despites humans, because then Childe would ask her why, if that’s the case, had he been keeping an eye on him. For which she has no answer to give, only a gut feeling.

“Say,” she starts after a stretched silence. “Seeing as you have all this free time now, what do you think of accompanying us for a while? Paimon and I are planning to explore Dragonspine, we can do with a little bit of extra help.”

Childe, who was focused on the crown at Paimon’s head, beams towards Lumine. “You’re serious?”

She smiles and nods. Paimon suddenly floats with renewed energy. “Yes! Paimon thinks it’s an amazing idea! We travel with our friends very often, you’ll see! we’re excellent buddies, and if you behave nicely, Paimon promise to give you the second biggest portion of food, after me, of course. Float all the time is exhausting!” She stops right on Childe’s face with a brilliant smile. “What do you say?”

Friends.

Huh. He can’t remember when was the last time someone ask for his opinion on something, much less for an adventure. Childe can feel his chest lighter just imagining it. A real hero adventure and this time it wouldn't even be alone, no, he has friends now to go with him. It sounds more than perfect in Childe's ears. Besides, getting away from Liyue would do wonderful things for his lately cloudy head. So, when he smiles big and nods, earning the happy cheers of his friends he’s just hoping for a funny adventure, excitement already coiling through his veins.

But Ajax forgot, as often he does, that he knows an absolute truth about gods.

That they’re very, very selfish creatures.

Chapter Text

Throughout his very much extended span of life, Zhongli has been called of many ways. Some were regal, loyal names, worthy of a God and the Prime of the Adepti. Others, not so much.

And he definitely was new to the concept of depressing, pinning old man as Hu Tao has adopted to call him recently.

“I work with dead people, and you of all things are making me miserable, Zhongli. Please leave, I don’t want to have you here; you can’t even do your job properly anymore. Take a vacation holiday, sick leave, hell, I’ll even pay you myself, but please, don’t show your depressing face again until you’re back to normal.”

Zhongli also thinks very often how rude and disrespectful this child is. No matter that she’s smiling widely while saying this plethora of insults right into his face.

“I’m perfectly able to do my job properly,” he says to her not before a deep breath, with his scowl slightly frown. He isn’t sulking, thank you very much. Yet, Hu Tao only puts her hands over her waist and leveled him with this look, like if she’s hearing a problematic child who doesn’t want to go to bed. Something very funny if you stop to think that between both of them, she’s definitely the childish one.

“Zhongli, dear Zhongli, my little piece of shinny rock, I’m your boss. I didn’t ask for your opinion. You’re officially on vacations as from now. Leave my parlor. Shoo, shoo.”

If he’s utterly baffled with the easiness in which she gets close and manhandles him out of his desk and right out of the shop, he doesn’t say a thing. Again, how awfully rude of her. If Zhongli wouldn’t have her the respect he does due to how professional she works, he would have fight back. Unable to do his job? Please, he just made a few mistakes the last couple of weeks. Anyone can have bad days.

That his bad days had begun the exact time Childe had stepped out of the northland bank almost four weeks ago, well, it’s a big coincidence of course.

Zhongli has been once a God of War, a heartless one who killed thousands of creatures, and lost many dear to him in exchange. He’s not unfamiliar with the death of someone cherished, after all, that is the course of life when you are ought to live for eons. Zhongli thought that he never would experience a pain so cruel and raw as the one eating him alive when he lost Ghuizhong, though. Humans he could understand, but to lost a Goddess who should’ve had the same span of life as him, caught him completely unprepared.

Human lives are even worse, just a blink, yet so deep and meaningful. He has met many humans to which he has grown fond of, lost them all as well. So Zhongli had taught himself to enjoy every moment with them, after all, no matter how much he wishes for it, they all are going to depart.

Is for this same reason that Zhongli is perplexed as to why Childe walking out of his life, as many other humans had done before him, is making him feel unusual.

Maybe it was because he got accustomed to be together all the time. In the end, Tartaglia was a constant in Zhongli’s life since they met, even though their relationship was strictly work-related at first. Certainly, he knew all along who Tartaglia was; the Eleventh Harbinger sent by the Tsaritsa to steal his gnosis. Zhongli had heard many rumors about him, the most widespread being his thirst for blood and merciless skills in battle that had put him as a Harbinger at a very young age, something unheard of.

That is why Zhongli was expecting to meet a man of certain… physical presence. To say he was surprised when a boyish teenager with auburn hair as unruly as his name claimed him to be, shook his hand at the harbor in front of the Snezhnayan ship from which he had just stepped down, is an understatement.

Unpredictable since the very beginning.

Perhaps, Zhongli thinks now, was his extremely fascinating nature, who allowed him to change from a cheerful and friendly teen to a cold-blood assassin in the instance of seconds. Or the honesty to which he always spoke to Zhongli. Not even once he tried to shy away from what he was. Yes, I’m a Fatui. Yes, I’m the Eleventh Harbinger. Yes, I’m here to steal your god’s gnosis. Do you know how, by any chance?

Zhongli was stunned to think the Tsaritsa would’ve sent a soldier so foreign to the concept of stealth and discretion to steal his Gnosis. Zhongli’s one. The Geo Archon, Prime Adepti, God of War and Contracts. A man very much known for his intelligence and perception. A man who little to no-one can fool.

But the Cryo Archon wasn’t either a fool. So Zhongli never once let his guard down.

Or at least that’s what he wants to believe.

He’s very sure that at some point he miscalculated.

Because at some point, the absence of Childe at his side was uncommon, and the pretense of it being only work-related was dropped completely. Because at some point, he chose to forgot what Tartaglia’s mission was, and instead focused more in getting to know him better. Because as the most precious of gemstones, Tartaglia, Childe, was a man who needed approach and the right amount of pressure to polish his bright. As a charcoal fated to be a diamond.

And Zhongli can’t lie and say it wasn’t the most fun he has in ages.

Childe was one of the most fascinating creatures he ever met. Sometimes, if he was lucky enough, he could have a glimpse of a man who was nor Tartaglia nor Childe, a man so young in his way of talk and his sparkling eyes. This man showed up anytime they talked about Childe’s family in Snezhnaya, specially about his siblings. And he has so many, Zhongli learned. He also learned that when the topic changed to parents, Childe only talked about his mother with the same love, never about his father.

Zhongli never questioned him about this.

Zhongli, besides, was very delighted with the discovery of their many shared hobbies, as strange as it sounds.

Childe was a big box of surprises and layers upon layers of unexplored concepts. Once, Zhongli was confided almost gingerly, like he shouldn’t be allowed to, that Childe finds pleasure in the arts of theater, in books of heroes and adventures and in old poetry, among others.

It was only logical that the next time they met, Zhongli had brought him three books of his own personal collection; one of poetry, one of and old adventure and one that years later, was transformed in a popular play among Liyue. The original one, of course. Given to him by the author itself as a thank you gift.

The face Childe had put that time is still engraved in Zhongli’s memory. His cheeks normally snowy tinted with the softest of reds, and when he grabbed the books almost scared of breaking them, he looked straight at Zhongli’s eyes and said a simple “thank you”.

But it was the way his ocean-blue eyes shone, the secretive smile on his face what truly made Zhongli smile too. This one was the glimpse of the younger man, the one who he was learning, embodies the more honest desires of Childe.

Zhongli was sure he should’ve been smitten with that one personality, but he found that all three of the man were utterly unique and fascinating.

Childe turned out to be a very good listener with a memory to be jealous of, for he never once forgot anything that Zhongli had told him, not even when it was a very trivial thing about a food dish or a precious stone or a very old and forgotten book. At first, Zhongli had thought that the fatui was faking his interest in hearing him talk, but when he begun to interrupt Zhongli occasionally to ask about something he had said, he understood that it wasn't the case. Childe was really listening and even gave his own opinion about the matter on discuss.

All of this little discoveries he made over time should’ve been enough to make him understand that he felt… different about Childe. He felt comfortable at his side, he had fun, real fun. What it used to happen only in a good battle, many years ago. His chest overexcited whenever they had a meeting appointed, it didn’t matter if it was a meal or a mission or just to drink tea and lose time. Zhongli enjoyed every single moment.

Sometime in between, he begun to wish for more. Just what kind of more? He couldn’t say for sure.

It wasn’t until a downpour caught them by surprise when coming back from a delivery of flowers for one of Zhongli’s clients, that he seemed to understood.

So very cliché, in hindsight.

They were pretty far away from the city, and in no sight of anything that could be used as a shelter, so he turned to his companion to ask for what they should do.

And that was it.

Childe, completely soaked from head to toes, with his hand pulling back the hair that stuck in his closed eyes, smiling.

“I love Liyue’s rain. In Snezhnaya all we have is blizzards. Even the summer rain is fucking cold, but here is always… so warm.”

He said without opening his eyes. And maybe was something in his quiet voice, or in the way his clothes clung to his slender body, but the next thing Zhongli was conscious of was the snap of his resolution, which he’s almost sure he heard breaking.

When Childe finally opened his eyes slightly and looked at Zhongli, almost immediately closed them again at the heat of warm lips over his. They kissed like it was commonplace, as if they have done it every day since they met. Childe’s arms found the other one’s neck and rested there as if that’s where they belong. Zhongli’s fingers over his hips felt like embers sending shivers all over his back.

They didn’t know how much time they stood there, kissing without any worry for the rain. And as an epiphany, like the final piece in a big and difficult puzzle, Zhongli suddenly knew what kind of more he wanted.

He wanted everything.

He wanted every breath, every word, every look, every laugh, every heartbeat. He wanted to own until the last drop of this man. Of these men. Zhongli wanted to drown in each one of them, in every chuckle and shy look of the unnamed teen; in every unhinged and blood-thirsty desire Tartaglia has; in every silly and free movement Childe makes.

Morax wanted to own this human forever.

Rex Lapis wanted to brag about him to the whole world.

Zhongli wanted to love him with all his might.

And as easy as that, they both fell in a relationship without name or label. They kept going out to meals, they drank tea together in the afternoons, sometimes even kept each other company when one of them had a mission out of Liyue.

Then at the moment of parting, they just added kisses to the mix.

Kissing Childe was a merciless drug, Zhongli belatedly discovered. One of which he was very much addicted to by then.

Childe kissed like a husband who greets his lover from a long journey. He was never quick nor rush about it, every movement of his lips meant to caress and love, but with the intensity of a whirlwind. Zhongli fell deeper and deeper every time they kissed. A hunger he never before has felt consuming him whole.

The first time their kisses escalated and grow into more, a dance of heated hands and passionate whispers on a dark rainy afternoon (Zhongli offhanded thought how curious that was), the Geo Archon was sure that he could never let this human walk away as many before him did. He felt the need to possess the man under him in every possible way, with his teeth, his nails, his smell.

But what right did he had, Zhongli repeated to himself, when it was only a matter of time for all of that to end. Once the truth came out, Childe certainly wouldn’t want anything to do with him anymore, and that would be fine.

No matter how loud Morax growled inside.

No matter how utterly disappointed Rex Lapis felt.

No matter how strongly Zhongli didn’t want for that to happen.

The contract with the Tsaritsa was first.

Liyue and all of his people needed him for this last blessing upon them.

It was a sacrifice he needed to made.

And if Childe’s affection for him turned out to be strong enough, chances are that he would allow him a few words to explain his reasoning and together they could find a way to solve this roughness in their relationship.

But he always was one to break his expectations.

So seeing him leave with a clear message of desertion to his country and to Zhongli, with the little pendant hidden into his broken mask, behind him, shouldn’t have been so surprising as it was.

Lo and behold, it left the ex-Archon so stunned that he wasn’t even able to understand what was happening at the time.

Zhongli was sure to know him well by then, so he chose to give him time. Once he appeased his anger, Childe surely would be more open to have a talk. To fight, even, if his suspicions were right. Tartaglia was well-known for his talking with fists.

However, when days upon days passed but Childe never came to him, logically, Zhongli went to him.

He didn’t require to walk very further into the Northland Bank, for this fatui woman whom he recognized as one of Childe’s most loyal subordinates, Ekaterina, if he remembers correctly, spotted him from her desk and walked towards him quickly.

She didn’t even allow him to speak nor wasted time in greetings. “If you are looking for Master Childe, it is in my duty to inform you he's no longer related to the Northland Bank, nor the Fatui, for that matter. He presented his resign two weeks ago. And as I’m sure you can imagine, cover up all his work is not an easy task, so we're very busy at the moment. If you have another concern related to the Bank, I suggest you make an appointment, and we will help you with whatever you need. As for now, I should ask you to please leave, inasmuch as there is nothing of interest for you in here, sir."

A dismiss if he ever saw one. Ekaterina was brisk and polite in her speech, but a definite undertone of anger was hidden in her voice. Why, Zhongli had no clue, he can’t remember a time when he could’ve had won the anger of this woman. But indeed she seemed very stressed out, there was a big pile of papers stocked out in her desk that Zhongli could see from where he stood. And, though the fatui mask covered her face, slight frowns were visible besides the stern line of her mouth.

“I have no intention of wasting your time Miss, I’m only trying to reach for Childe, maybe you can give me a place to start with. I recall you both had a close relationship.” Was the only thing that came out of his mouth. An unnerving and grim realization downing into his head.

Zhongli had no fucking idea where else to search for him if she doesn’t.

She remained silent, looking at him like a hawk to its prey. “Look, I know you two were… very close. I don’t know what kind of relationship you held, and I don’t even care, but I’m absolutely sure that if you had nothing to do with this sudden resignation, Master Childe would have told you about his whereabouts. I don’t know what you did to him, sir, but let me be clear about this,” Ekaterina drove her face very close to Zhongli’s impassive one, never one to be intimidated. “I wouldn’t tell you where he is, even if I knew it. It would be very kind of your part to respect his decision, no matter how against it you are.”

Ah, Zhongli understood her harsh attitude then.

Ekaterina was obviously a friend of Childe, or as close to one in their field of work at least; it’s not unexpected that he had confided her about the relationship he and Zhongli had. Even if they never putted a name to it, it was easy to understand some things.

Ekaterina also seemed to have a very sharp eye, because even with the omitted details of what had transpired between them, she nailed it with eerie accuracy that it was absolutely Zhongli’s fault.

“I made a mistake,” he confessed after a few seconds. “It was never my intention to force him to do what he did. I’m trying to find him to apologize.”

“If you understand that the mistake was yours, then it’s proper to understand that it’s in your hands only to fix it. I’m not gonna help you. If he decides to never talk to you again he’s in his complete right to do so. Now, I’m indeed very busy, so if you don’t have a bank-related business to attend to here, I’m gonna ask you politely to leave. Do keep in mind, I only ask politely once.”  

She didn’t need to say more, however. If Childe didn’t work at the bank anymore, Zhongli had nothing to do in there.

In fact, Zhongli can’t do anything, after that.

Not only he felt like if all his energy has been drained out, but his focus was also completely out of place. He couldn’t listen properly when someone talked to him, several tasks had to be reminded in order to stuck them into his head, several and very much known tasks. For the first time in all his life Zhongli was, as normally people would say, sleep-deprived. Of course, he didn't actually need to sleep, though it was a guilty pleasure of his. One that he found himself uncapable of accomplish.

He made mistake after mistake at work, something that never ever happened before. He’s a 6000+ years old Adeptus, he created this very land with his bare hands, there’s nothing he doesn’t know about Liyue and the proper rituals for the deceased. Nevertheless, he confused the chosen flowers for three different burials. He forgot the preferences of five of them. He completely obliterated of his mind the date of one.

Hu Tao had been precise in her observation, Zhongli working on the Funeral Parlor was a ticking bomb. But now, he’s lost about what to do.

For the first time in millennia, the ex-Archon doesn’t have any hobby tempting enough to keep his mind healthy.

So it feels like a small miracle when bypassing Wanmin Restaurant, little Xiangling waves energetic at him and calls him in.

“Mister Zhongli! It’s been a while! How have you been?” she greets overly cheerful as always.

“Miss Xiangling, a long time indeed. How was your travel to Mondstadt?”

“Oh, it was wonderful! I brought so many new ingredients, I’m hoping for you to try some and let me know what you think, do you happen to be busy now?” She asks, but starts to gather some ingredients while talking anyways. Zhongli smiles and sits in his preferential stool.

“Never too busy to eat a new meal of yours.”

Xiangling giggles. “What a flatter, Mister Zhongli! Suit yourself, I’ll have it ready in no time.”

They talk a little while Zhongli gets himself entranced by Xiangling moving in the kitchen with the grace of a dancer on stage. He always found fascinating the ability of this young girl to make something so challenging as it is the cuisine, to seem like a simple children game, and as effortless too. True to her word, a beautiful looking meal is set in front of him in no time. At simple glance he can pinpoint bamboo shoots, mint, what it seems remnants of calla lily and probably red meat delicately cut. 

“Mister Childe already tasted it a few days ago, it’s a shame you two weren’t together, I could have heard your opinion sooner!” She says smiling while resting her face over her hands, completely focused on Zhongli. “Miss Yanfei and Lumine were with him, though Miss Yanfei didn’t order the same dish.”

Zhongli puts the first nibble on his mouth, trying to concentrate on the food and not in what she just said. “What a rare sight for Miss Yanfei to keep Childe company,” he can’t avert but to say. In all the time Childe was stationed in Liyue, if they had cross path thrice is a lot. Why would they start to share meals? Though maybe was due to the Traveler, she is much more prone to have business to deal with the expert in laws after all.

“Right? I thought the same, but apparently she’s advising Mister Childe in something, I didn’t pry what, though. Miss Ganyu is helping them too; they come together pretty often. It seems odder to me that you weren’t the one with him, I used to believe you two were attached to the hip!” she jokes lightly, a kind laugh touching her lips. Xiangling is multitasking while confessing this things to Zhongli, so she’s not at all aware of the rigid face of the man.

Yanfei was strange alone, but she and Ganyu? Something’s definitely going on. A very uncomfortable itch crawls under his skin and Morax stirs.

“The bamboo shoots are perfectly cooked, the mint and the calla lily leave a fresh taste on the mouth, truly a magnificent combination. If I have something to say, it would be the possibility of the meat not being so slim, or to maybe add a little bit of crab, perhaps? It would made for a more robust kind of meal. Even so, it’s a wonderful innovation, Miss Xiangling. I’m sure this one it’s going to be a favorite in the menu.”

This is absolutely not what Zhongli wants to say, but it is what came out of his mouth, nonetheless.

Xiangling’s eyes sparks when he finishes. “I knew it! Mister Childe said the same!” she laughs shaking her head, the little bells in her braids chiming softly. “I made this one specifically to help Mister Childe on his journey, maybe something robust as you say would be more fitting indeed. I’ll try to put some spicy in there too, after all that place it’s very cold.”

Zhongli stills his hand, the chopsticks drowning slightly in the broth. “Childe’s… journey?”  

“Yes! Oh, did he not tell you?” She asks, honestly baffled. Zhongli doesn’t have the heart to tell her they didn’t talk since weeks ago, and that it would be a miracle itself if Childe even look at his side. “He’s leaving from Liyue soon, he and Lumine are going to travel together. He seemed so excited! I know that place is very far away and super cold, and I already know a few dishes to fight the cold, but I wanted to create something specially for him! Oh and—”

A journey?

He was leaving.

Childe was leaving Liyue.

Childe was leaving Liyue to return to Snezhnaya.

He was going back to another Archon, and with the traveler at his side.

Why did he not tell him about this?

Why should he? An irascible voice chides. And Zhongli has to think it very hard.

He doesn’t have an answer.

Morax snarls, his words echoing hollowed and loud in every inch of Zhongli’s body. Surely Childe wouldn’t leave without telling him first, right? Not without giving him the chance to fix… whatever Zhongli need to fix.

…Right?

The numbness crawls insistent all over him, his head screams louder and louder. He doesn’t realize he’s been out for quite some time until the worried face of Xiangling is literally in front of him.

“Mister Zhongli, are you okay? Are you hurt?”

What? Why would he be hurt? He tries to ask, but when the chef takes his hand holding the chopsticks, he sees the splinters imbedded into his palm.

“I’m fine,” he assures her, his voice sounding wrong even to his own ears. The face she makes tells Zhongli she doesn’t believe him. “I have to go now, do excuse me.”

“Ah, Mister Zhongli! Wait—"

Zhongli is burning.

Morax is out of control, stirring inside like a caged animal.

Rex Lapis, who tends to be the voice of reason, is thunderous.

His human is leaving him. His human is leaving him with another woman.

And it’s his fault.

Deep down, Zhongli knows he should be rational; that he should stop and think that Childe is just another person who’s meant to leave him as many before him had done.

But, unfortunately, he finds himself in a spot where rationality has fled from his capabilities it seems.

He’s enraged. If there’s a definition of “seeing red” he’s sure this must be it. Every cell in his body is on fire. He walks fast, almost sprinting through the people without a second care for the surprised stares he’s receiving.

Zhongli is losing the grip on his control; he can feel it dripping like wet sand between his fingers.

Childe is leaving him.

And Zhongli definitely can’t do this alone.

He needs help. And the only person close enough to go to now is Madame Ping. That elderly woman has many infusions that are perfect for the Adepti, she’s the one who Zhongli always relies on to buy his own tea strands too.

It didn’t have any sense.

He wasn’t able to find Childe not once in the last couple of weeks, apparently so busy in his schedule. And now, it turns out to be Childe did have the time to happily chat and dine with Yanfei, Ganyu and the traveler even, but not for Zhongli it seems.

Ridiculous.

Of course he was expecting to be ignored for a while, but to be replaced for another person is another whole story.

Morax is fuming. Childe was his from the beginning! What do those women can possibly know? Do they know how to make Childe smile as Zhongli does? Or how to bring to light his most honest self? How Childe choose to drink his tea? Or his preferences about food?

They know nothing. They cannot compare to him in any level.

He could tear them down in a heartbeat.

And that is something he absolutely shouldn’t be thinking about. Those women were close people, friends even.

But they’re trying to steal your human.

They are trying to take your mate away.

An electric shock shakes his stomach like a sharp blade, a fang can be felt piercing into his lips, and he silently thanks the sunset swallowing the whole city, because he’s sure that way at least he has an excuse to the abnormal shine of his golden eyes.

He reaches the entrance to Yujin Terrace in a daze, his head running a mile per hour. He’s feeling at edge trying to keep Morax at bay, his more animalistic and primal instincts are something he knows how to handle perfectly. Or he used to know, apparently. But it’s in a matter of seconds, that’s all it takes, for Zhongli to know that he couldn’t win this time.

Because there, next to Madame Ping, is Childe.

Childe, who he hadn’t seen in weeks, stands there with a simple black t-shirt and a bouquet of Silk Flowers nested in his arms. He’s smiling very vaguely, but instead of being reassuring, it sets all the alarms in Zhongli’s head.

Childe is not okay.

He’s less than okay, Zhongli can’t remember a time where he had seen him so bad, and he had saw him after ferocious battles. 

Childe’s face is white, sickly white. His ocean-blue eyes lack its characteristic shine, displaying a dull dark blue instead. Under his eyes there’s bags so deep and murky, they almost appear purple from here. His hair is amiss, not in his usual way, but wrong.

That is the correct word, Childe is wrong.

All kinds of wrong.

And it’s not only his physical appearance what is not right, he’s… he smells flawed.

His refreshing, sweet scent of wildflower and petrichor is not there, replaced instead by a mixture that very well could have kicked Zhongli on the nose for how bad it feels.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

The ex-Archon realizes that he lost the battle.

He belatedly realizes of it when suddenly a sword and a spear are cornering him by the neck, preventing any movement. Two pair of eyes brimming with concern, and something akin to fear, firmly fixed on him.

“Rex Lapis.” Xiao says, unwavering, slow. “Let him go.”

“Zhongli,” a second voice speaks at his left, the traveler, with her sword also pricking his neck. “You’re going to hurt him if you don’t let go of him now. Please.”

He doesn’t understand what’s happening. He tries to speak, but the only sound that come out is a rumble that makes the weapons push firmer against his neck. His eyes can see that they are talking between them, Xiao’s always serene gaze is oddly frantic.

What are they doing?

The revelation of what it’s happening pass him by like a drama play.

A sharp pain in his shoulder makes him see below him, where a water blade is embedded on his arm. Lower still, big, very familiar claws have Childe trapped into the floor. Narrow strands of blood blooming from where his claws sank too hard. Childe’s weak, paler face receives him with a feral smile, with both hands on Zhongli’s draconic ones, not trying to loosen them, just… resting there.

Then, a faint smell of Qingxin flowers exudes from Childe’s body, and his mind freezes.

Why does Childe smells like Xiao?

In slow-motion, Zhongli raises his head to find the Yaksha at his right.

“Fuck.” He hears.

And here is when a woman voice behind him yells something at Lumine, and suddenly, while his focus is completely centered in the small man of teal hair, a strong current of energy surrounds him and swallows Zhongli, Childe, and seemingly all the people around him.

The day that makes four complete weeks of not seeing Childe since his parting at the Northland Bank, at sunset on the Yujin Terrace, Zhongli’s whole group is transported to a magical teapot in a last attempt to prevent a true catastrophe to happen.

Chapter Text

Once, Xiao almost died.

It was centuries ago, when he fought against his brothers who had fall upon the darkness. He was a strong yaksha by then, but not enough to survive that battle unharmed, he found himself completely drained, gasping what it felt like his last breath. Xiao was ready to depart, truth be told. The blood of his brothers on his hands was heavy and painful. Xiao did not saw on himself something special; he was the same as them just but on the right path still. When he had completed his duty, there was nothing left for him, he was more than ready to let go.

That time, Zhongli was the one who saved him. Well, not Zhongli, Rex Lapis would be more accurate. The physical body that the God of Wars and Contracts had chosen to be his vessel, a man with arms as black as ink and golden strokes running freely over them. Xiao, absently, asked himself if that was perhaps the true color of his blood.

Rex Lapis healed all his injuries in complete silence. He took away all the impurities that stained Xiao’s body and made him unable to move. Then, once he was sure the small Yaksha would live again, he proposed him to be his ally. He never asked him to be his devotee or to swear loyalty to his cause, he did not order him. Rex Lapis just said he wanted someone strong, with a sense of justice unblemished and able to protect Liyue from the darkness.

He gave Xiao a new start. A free pass to live and move at his rhythm and never once tried to be retributed for that. Thus, Xiao swore right that and there that his whole purpose in life would be solely to ought the wellbeing and happiness of Rex Lapis.

It was only a matter of time, honestly, for him to step in the situation with the Fatui dog. And you see, Xiao was a very wise man, his knowledge could be not so vast as the Geo Archon, but it was good enough. Regrettably, there was still some topics that even to Xiao were quite foreign. Infatuation was one of them.

An infatuation was all he thought it was going to be, truth be told. After all, Rex Lapis wasn’t known precisely for taking life partners, much less a human, Snezhnayan Harbinger with a thirst for blood that could be smelled from miles away. There was Ghuizhong, a long time ago, but after her departure the Archon never displayed any interest in look for another partner. He wasn’t sure if they were more than intimate friends in the first place, but that was just something he could not ask.

Therefore, you can only imagine the utter shock of Xiao then, when in looking for the so distinctive energy of Rex Lapis a couple of weeks ago, he ended up in an open field watching the redhead Fatui wiping out the floor with Ruin Guards.

It was hilarious, really. Because the only way that could happen? The only one? It would be for Rex Lapis to have made the human a not-so-human anymore. For Xiao to confuse his energy, one he knows from memory alone and could track in any part of Teyvat,  with the one of the human, who should not have any to begin with, it would mean that Rex Lapis poured so much of his energy into his body that, best case scenario, the Snezhnayan would be able to notice signs of aging in between seventy to eighty years.

And this is where the good part comes. You see, that wasn’t a common occurrence, not by chance. Not everybody could do it, and it was quite forbidden, in fact. Something about keeping the balance and all that crap. But Rex Lapis, Morax, was the Prime Adepti for a reason, he was the one who put that rule in there, if Xiao remembers correctly. So, made them to break them, right? Xiao could live with that, that was cool. Rex Lapis was the epitome of good behavior and had never even get close to break a rule, knows exceptionally good how to bend them though, being the God of Contracts and all that.

Thing is: a human body wasn’t designed to withstand a transition to Adeptus. Or Adeptus mate, in this case. They have extremely fragile bodies, even if Rex Lapis would have been a normal Adeptus, his energy alone should have destroyed the human vessel.

But he wasn’t. A normal one I mean. He was the first one, the head of all of them, the Prime who keep the more and most powerful energy. To pour his power inside a human would be the same as to feed a small sprout with a waterfall. The vessel would undoubtedly break.

But this human, against all odds, didn’t. The fatui not only resisted it, what was more shocking, was that he didn’t even know something was different with him. The real problem of this situation, in fact.

Because if he was aware of it, then he should have known than to avoid an imbalance in the delicate process of transition, he should be feed with Adepti energy at all times, since a sudden withdraw would lead him to dead for sure. Since he wasn't informed prior, at least Rex Lapis should have done something to prevent this from happen. Therefore, not fucking fight with him and drift apart.

Xiao thinks, not for the first time, what his life could have been if Rex Lapis never saved him that time. Perhaps he could’ve lived like a small Anemo spirit, roaming leisurely the land to his expenses. Xiao, not for the first time, ask himself if that chance is still on the table to take.

But his loyalty was unquestionably. So there he went, up to keep the human, the not-so-human mate of Rex Lapis, Morax, his savior, the God of Liyue, the Prime Adepti with the most unique energy, alive. Obviously, that wasn’t an easy task, and even if he used all of his own energy, it wouldn’t have been enough. So, he asked for backup. Yanfei and Ganyu were all too kind in offering their hand when they were aware of the situation. In a normal circumstance, the welcome of Morax's mate would be a festivity itself, with a ceremony and a proper meeting. Ganyu thought it was a shame they couldn’t welcome him formally, Xiao assured her that if they succeed in keeping him alive until they reconcile, they were going to organize all that she considered proper to do so.

And so they went. All three of them, plus Lumine and the little fairy, even Madame Ping, trying to keep the redhead alive.

Exhausting as thirteen hells was a simple way to describe it. It was almost impossible, trying to fill up the void of Morax’s energy wasn’t children game, they were barely able to keep Childe from passing out on a daily basis. One could have guessed that when Morax discovered all of it, he was going to be grateful. I mean, Xiao wasn’t expecting anything in return, all of this had born out of his own volition, but still.

A thank you would have been enough.

The lethal glare of Rex Lapis in front of him, assessing him as a predator to its prey, was far from a thank you.

A little ahead of him, he catches with the corner of his eyes the fatty bird, Gordi, hiding herself on her own teapot with a scared screech. He doesn’t blame her one bit. The air was suffocating, but he’s aware of Lumine with her sword ready to help him in an instant should he need it.

Childe, in contrast with Rex Lapis who he knows as the back of his hand, had been a surprise since the beginning to Xiao, who many times wondered what was exactly he had that lured Morax to took him as a mate so desperately. And even though he does not share the same feeling, obviously, the last weeks at his side had revealed a side of him that it was quite surprising. Xiao thought of Childe as a killing machine, a lavish of the Cryo Archon, his pawn. But thanks to Lumine, and specially to Paimon, who seem to have adopted Childe as his new favorite person, Xiao knows better.

Childe was very appreciative of silence, something to which Xiao can relate too well. He also watches everything but comments only on the necessary, another thing they share. Childe has a unique talent to understand and analyze people, and this particularly had Xiao thinking if it was due to what he lived on the Abyss and the Zapolyarny Palace. Those places weren’t the best ones to make friendship after all. But above all of that, he learned that Childe was a very, very wounded man.

Xiao saw how he battled against the Ruin Guards, he knew exactly how bad the injuries he took were. A normal human would have died undoubtedly, even though his body was not so human anymore, he could not use the regenerative power of the Adepti. But despite this, Xiao saw how he smiled sweetly and nice to Lumine and Paimon, telling them a story so dark and painful, something that would have broken the strongest man on earth, but not him as a child. This man had survived one of the worst imaginable things as a mere fourteen years old, had been given to the Tsaritsa army as a kid, had strode all over all of them and given the title of Harbinger. He had been forced to stained his hands with blood he never wanted to spill. And he did so with a smile and pride, because a man loyal to the Tsaritsa cannot be less than that.

And despite all of the things that he had been through, Childe still smiled. He found things he liked, things that made him happy, food that he enjoyed, hobbies that he basked on. He still cares for his younger siblings and his mother, he still fights for as much normalcy as he can grasp. He fights for what was taken from him without given the chance to know.

Xiao also comes to know that Childe was a very, very clever man.

He learned it when one night he was offered a mystery bamboo box that even from afar smelled like a delicacy of almond. Not exactly almond tofu, but with the same mouth-watering aroma.

“What it this?” He asked, holding the wooden box.

“I don’t know what is it that you are doing exactly, but I know that you and the others are helping me. Though you look specially worse to wear, so I thought that something sweet might cheer you up. As a thank you. Miss Xiangling and Lumine told me that you like this kind of dessert, so I hope it is to your liking.” He had answered simply, sitting next to Xiao at the edge of the cliff.

How had he found him, again?

“Are you not going to ask?” Xiao said after a long but comfortable silence. He saw Childe shrugging his shoulder a little.

“Do you want me to ask?”

Huh. “No, not particularly.”

“Then we’re okay. Do you mind if a keep you company for a moment? This is really relaxing, and I could use a little break.”

Xiao understood two things that day. First, that when Childe says that he needs a break, he means that he is about to pass out but does not want to worry anyone. Except Xiao. Because apparently, their mutual appreciation for silence and quietness means they are close pals. So, every now and then, Childe brought a new delicacy of almond to Xiao as a payment for keeping him safe while he’s out.

And second, that it probably was some of this well-hidden secrets about Childe that Morax saw and fell for.

Back to the reality, the imminent danger his body was waiting for finally strikes. Xiao has enough time to deaden the blow with his spear, but his back still lands painfully against a cherry tree several feet behind. With almost no time to recover the breath, now a kick on his stomach pushes him in between a couple of rocks that evaporates seconds after, with another attack from Rex. Xiao has no time to think of a strategy for counter-attack, he barely has time to try to soften the myriad of blows one right after the other. 

It was when Xiao was sunken on the ground with his spear far from reach, and Rex looming above him as an impending promise of death, that he first talks.

“I wonder, my trustworthy Xiao, why is it. Why is it that my mate, one that you never saw before, is now fused with your smell. Care to explain?”

Xiao remembers, in a slow motion, those times when he asked himself what was that the opponents of Rex Lapis saw at the end, seconds before they die by his hands in battle. He realizes that it must be this. Rex Lapis glare on him was what nightmares were made of. It sends a shiver down his spine that has his flight-or-fight instincts ready to bolt. In a fluid movement Xiao does a backward flip that leaves him the small advantage of a little distance, but ready to be hit again once he caught Rex moving forward fast as a lightning.  

However, when a very familiar body puts itself in front of him as a human shield, Rex stops right where he is as if time no longer has power over him.  

Because apparently, in Snezhnaya they have nightmares for breakfast.

Childe steps in like a possesses man with a water blade in each hand, one of which was directly at Zhongli’s throat. This being the same Childe who could barely stand on his feet the last couple of weeks, with a weak body completely covered in wounds that thanks to the lack of Geo energy that his body needed, could never completely healed them.

Xiao wasn’t afraid of Rex Lapis. But… he wasn’t so sure about Childe.

“I would very much appreciate if you don’t beat up my friends.” Childe says with poise. As if he was asking for a glass of water and not threatening the Geo Archon in flesh.

“Friends?” Zhongli repeats after a moment, his eyes piercing through Childe. “You do not know who he is.”

“What I do or not is not of your concern. Now, step back or you will have to pass over me.”

Apparently that was not the right answer, for only did that Zhongli’s eyes shone alarmingly.

“You would risk your life for him? Why? He is a stranger to you.”

“Because he is my friend, as I already stated. I know who he is, I can’t say the same about you.”

Zhongli stays quiet, hissing inside his head and battling in silence only with their eyes. The lack of the usual shine on the deep blue of Childe was unnerving in ways he can’t exactly define at the moment.

“You are upset,” Zhongli declares with revelation, as if the thought hadn’t crossed his mind before.

“My, what gave me away?” the sword against Zhongli’s throat presses a little bit further, dragging a thread of blood.

It should be taken as an offense, for really obvious reasons, but it only makes Morax preens with pride. His mate was still so strong and fearful, the perfect match to be his spouse. What was better than someone who could talk levelly with a God of Wars? So beautiful and perfect.

“It is my fault that you are upset. What may I possibly do in order to fix that? I need to talk with you, I suspect that you are not going to be amenable to that in your current state.”

“Step back.”

Zhongli does it. In a simple movement of his hand, the polearm that was standing at his side evaporates in balls of golden light and he takes exactly three steps backwards. Once Childe was sure he was out of danger, he helped Xiao to get up.

“May I talk with you now?” Zhongli tries again.

Childe is talking softly with the yaksha and takes his sweet time to answer. “There is nothing for us to talk. I don’t have any obligation to listen to you anymore, since I’m no longer paid to do so.” This was a big fat lie, not once was he paid to so such thing. In fact it was quite the opposite, Childe’s bank account dropping alarmingly fast in order to spend time with the funeral consultant. But of course he does not need to know this. “If you happen to forgot to use me in some other scheme of yours, I suggest you ask for a different Harbinger. I’m sure the Tsaritsa would be more than happy to lend you another pawn for you to have fun. Perhaps even Signora, seeing as you already worked so well together.”

A discreet coughing distracts them. Childe turns marginally to the sight of Madame Ping walking to them.

“My, my. I know it’s not very polite of me to interfere where I’m not called, young men, but I think, from the bottom of my heart, that you two are in due for a talk.” She looks at Childe with a smile. “I’m very aware of your position on this, but if these last weeks have been of any help to you, maybe you could see this not as a favor to him, but as one towards me instead. Do you think you can do that, dear?”

Childe frowns deeply and opens his mouth to reply, but the lady is faster. “That’s great. Being that the case, we are going to give you both some privacy, and head inside for some tea. I have faith in your abilities to sort this out as the two adults that you are. Join us when you’re finished, I’m going to make sure to have something to eat together.”

In complete control of the situation, Madame Ping calls out for Xiao and Lumine to follow her. The traveler gets her sword down but it’s dubious about going inside and let them alone. She decides to stop next to Childe and have a silent conversation with him. He seems all but reluctant to be alone with Zhongli, very clearly not in favor of talk. She did not blame him, just smiles a little and pats his shoulder.

“I’m gonna be near if you need me.” She says, and in any other person Childe would probably have felt offended, but coming from Lumine, it was a reassurance. It always feels so nice to be looked out by her.

“I know,” unable to control himself, his hand reaches out to ruffle her hair softly. “Thank you.”

He’s a little bit taken aback when a gush of wind blows on his face and Paimon is suddenly there. She seems angry and anxious.

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Lumine! Why should we leave them alone? That blockhead has hurt Childe before, and lied way too much to him also! Why should we believe whatever he has to say now?!”

Paimon screams at Lumine’s impassive face. All her little limbs are shaking strongly, to add more support to her words. Childe feels a warmth running all over his belly, and is reaching to Paimon in a flash. He puts her flushed face into his chest and caresses her soft, snowy hair with a hush. It’s something he was used to do to calm his little siblings when they were upset, it never failed. And judging by Paimon’s quietness, Childe suspects that it worked with her too.

“It’s okay, I’m not scared of him. He is not going to hurt me, Paimon.”

“But!” she rebukes, sinking her head on Childe’s chest. “What if he loses control again as in the Yujin terrace?! If we’re inside, we’re not gonna be so fast to help you! I don’t like it! I don’t!”

“Paimon,” Lumine says, surprisingly soothing. “Nothing it’s going to happen, trust me. If Zhongli does lose control, Childe can defend himself until we back him up. But they need to talk now, remember? We already told you this.”

Paimon shakes her head as a baby pinguin into his chest and does a strange and funny sound, muffled by the man’s shirt. But Childe understand what she said anyways and smiles.

“I promise you. We’re just going to have a chat. When we’re done, you and I will have the most delicious and sweet dessert that you want, how does that sound?”

Paimon still seems reluctant, but after a while of Childe’s hand soothing her, she acquiesced. Not before she glared strongly at Zhongli, who remains completely silent watching the scene.  

Once they were left alone, it was Zhongli who broke the silence, straight to the point.

“I was told that you were leaving Liyue.”

Childe looks at him, never wavering. “That’s right. There’s nothing in here for me anymore, I did not see the need to delay my departure.”

As Tartaglia, he had to say many lies in order to complete a job efficiently, but this one here was closest to the most fallacious. He knows for sure that he has many reasons to stay in Liyue, the place where the warm of the sun is so tender that feels like a hug. Where the people he should have not had befriend with, but he did anyway, feels more like a family that his own on Snezhnaya. Here, where he tasted for the first time since he escaped the Abyss, what true happiness was.

But Zhongli has already taken too much from him and he does not want to give him too much information. He does not need to know the reasons, nor does he need to know the truth. He does not deserve to know just how much his little scheme has destroyed him inside. Childe was a stronger man than that, this is just him trying to preserve some self-love.  

Because it turns out as a bittersweet irony that the same man who knew how to give him so much happiness and make him feel whole, was now enough to outweigh everything else and forced him to leave.

“I… want to apologize for what I did. I’m aware that there were many ways in which I could have done things different, better. But I failed to saw them before.”

Childe deride, but his face betrayed not a single expression. He does not smile, he does not get angry, he does not cry.

“What do you want me to say? Which one is the answer do you seek from me, for you mind to be in peace?”

There is an undertone in Childe's voice that the ex-Archon cannot pinpoint, but it feels like a necessity for him to do so. “There is no such thing. I merely wanted for you to know that I am sorry for what I did.”

“You are not,” Childe states still composed. He had to fake emotions in the past to make himself looks calm and collect, he only needs to remember how to do the same now. “You designed this for so long, every single step and contingency was inside your hands. You gained what you intended to gain. You are not sorry, for this is what you wanted since the beginning. Saying you regret it is adding insult to my face. Look, I get it, you are their god. You must look after your people and all that shit, right? I was just a stupid man for confusing myself so much, for me to believe that just because I was living freely in Liyue, I was to be considered one of your people to look after. It was my mistake, really. Maybe the Tsaritsa was overconfident in my efficiency to do this job, I obviously wasn’t prepared for such a task. At the end of the day I was no more than a small rock to kick aside, which you did. It was me who could not do my job properly. You organized everything, and your scheme went according to your plan, so you cannot be sorry. It would be nice that for once, you stop lying right into my face.”

Childe nibbles his tongue. Fuck, he was supposed to say the bare minimum and end this conversation as soon as possible, blurting out that speech was not the bare minimum. What was wrong with him? Had he forgot how to lie properly? Or was it because he hadn’t faced Zhongli since that day? It was laughable, he, who was recognized by his high standards of performance, unable to maintain a last façade. To which point had this man ruined Childe, he thought bitterly.

Morax has lived for more than seven thousands of years. He is an Adeptus, the first of all, a creature with enough power to be recognized by Celestia and bestowed the title of Archon, a God. The God of Wars and Contracts. He had felt almost every conceivable emotion throughout his life, bliss, grief, pleasure, dread.

But what Childe’s words are making him feel right now, is suddenly worst. It feels like despair, anxiety and an irrational panic that is numbing his hands.

Is this what his miscalculation have caused Childe to think? That he was just a disposable utility for his plan? Why would he believe such a thing when it was obvious that all the time they spent together was truer than anything else?

Is it? A voice in his head chimes in, derisive.

Was it really that obvious? Was he ever honest enough? Had he properly told Childe, at any point of their relationship, what he truly means to him? That his plan wasn’t made because of him, but that he was a great incentive on accomplish it. Because Zhongli new that once he was free, they could be together every day until the end.  

Zhongli realizes that he does not have an answer to any of his questions. And the insight makes his already upset head to go ballistic.

Childe is going to leave him forever because he never told him the truth.

“That’s what I thought,” Childe replies after a while, taking Zhongli’s silence as all the evidence he needed. “I’m not going to forgive you, for there is nothing that you have done that requires my forgiveness. And even if there were, I never would be able to excuse you, anyway. You, as the other goddess that had claimed to loved me, only lied and hurt me. If this is the kind of love you know how to give, I want nothing to do with it.”

“I would never hurt you willfully. Tartaglia, I would do anything that you ask me to do,” Zhongli blurts out, a foreign trembling in his voice. This was not the course he was hoping their conversation to go.

“Except that you already hurt me,” Childe says with pain dripping from his voice. He hates to sound so weak. “You swear to do anything for me, but you weren’t able to tell me the truth. How do you expect me to believe in you?”

Childe is so tired of this. He has repeated over and over and over again this same speech inside his head over the last month. He was tired, angry and hurt. And the plan was than he wasn’t going to show any of this to Zhongli, but the honesty of the moment was overwhelming. He had prepared himself to this day with Lumine and alone too. He thought that he knew exactly what he was going to say to Zhongli. He had it planned, for fucks sake. He was to be polite, nod his head and say whatever pleased Zhongli in order to never have to meet him again.

Then again.

It was impossible to forget everything so quickly. Childe love him. Hell, love would be short at this point. His head was full of Zhongli every second of the day. He misses his voice, his scent, his touch, his small laugh, the way his eyes shone in the sunset light, the smell of every tea they shared. Everything. Childe thought that he could do with a fight and a goodbye, it was another one of his plans, parting ways in a bad term would it mean that they’ll never have to miss each other again. But what he thought he would feel, and the reality, are in two completely different dimensions. Childe’s chest is burning so much that even breathing is a demanding task. His hands are shaking, and he’s sure that if he talks more than what he already did, everything is going to crumble down.

“You used me to achieve your freedom, why can’t I have the same?”

Zhongli wanted to scream. Freedom? What freedom is he talking about, when he’s just going to return to the hands of the Cryo Archon? Is he choosing her over him, even when she was also aware that Childe was going to be part of this scheme?

Is Childe saying that the Tsaritsa can be forgiven, but he can’t?

A thundering beating of a heart that it should not be beating in the first place, makes Zhongli’s eyes glow as molten gold.

Is this what Childe felt, when he chose Liyue’s people over him?

Unforgivable. Morax roars. Fix it, don’t let him go. He is ours; she can’t have him. He is our mate, ours!

“Why is it that you won’t forgive me, but you do forgive her?” Zhongli asks, the voice of a being much more powerful than the simple man standing there. Childe cracks his first emotion, confusion seeping on his face.

“Why the fuck do you care so much if I absolve you or not? A mighty god like you surely has better things to focus on than that. What? Are you regretting that your walking wallet is not going to be there anymore?”

Zhongli’s eyes, ablaze as flame, hardens suddenly. “It seems to me that you are confused,” he says stretching his right hand, palm up. Where a shiny light encases his hand, coins of mora begin to drop as rain, pooling at Zhongli’s feet. “I was the God of trade, the mora was invented by me, is my essence they use to mint them. What makes you believe that I ever had the need to use you for something that, as you are seeing, runs within my body?”

Childe watches transfixed for a second. A minute. And then he laughs. Bitter and not funny enough, but he can’t stop. The revelation of knowing that the only thing he ever offered, and thought he was useful for Zhongli, was just another falsehood.

He covers his face with a hand, trying to conceal some of the noise, but to no avail. “Of course, of fucking course,” Childe mutters with mirth that he does not feel. “Why would a God as you ever need something from me?”

“That is not what I’m trying to convey, I—”

“It is worship what you seek? Is that it? Do you regret that now, nobody is going to kneel in front of you? Bowing their heads and praying for favors, like dogs to their master?”

“Tartaglia, you are not listening to me,” Zhongli says in a mix between desperation and anger. Why is he doing this so complicated?

“Why should I?!” Childe finally breaks, shouting so hard his throat resents it. “Why should I listen to any of you, miserable gods, that only know how to use people and make them feel as they owed you something?! Why should I listen, when none of you ever listened to me as a child when I prayed day and night, every second of my life since I fell into the Abyss, dying over and over and over again! Why should I listen to you when you never listened to me! Why, if when I got out, without a single help from any of you, I was throwed out by my own father, to one of your kind in hope of redemption? My own family never stopped to listen to me, instead they chose their Goddess to give me the help that I desperately asked and not once she, or anyone, gave me. My family never helped me, she never helped me, you never helped me, none of your fucking kind has ever done something for me! I was always alone, every time I needed from any of you, you were never there.”

Childe, Ajax, feels his body on pain. As if every word coming out of him was an old injury prevented from bleeding out by the same knife it was made of, and now he took every knife out. He is bleeding out. It has to be the only reason as to why his face feels so hot. Not even the shock in Zhongli’s face is able to stop the verbiage.

“I waited for you,” Childe confesses, low, like a truth he does not want to be heard. “I waited for you to come and explain me everything. I remained on the same spot for days, just waiting for you to show up, but you didn’t. I wanted to trust in you and all the things, the fucking lies that you told me and said you felt for me. I should have learned my lesson,” he says trying to laugh, but a strangled sound came instead. “I’m not loved by any God out there, I’m not loved by my own father, and clearly, I’ve never been loved by you either. How can you ask me to believe in what you say now, when the very own man that I fell in love was a fucking lie? I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

His throat is raw, choky, burning. Childe never broke his walls so badly as now; nobody should have ever listened to half of what he just divulged out. They were secrets so well hidden than some, he almost forgot. Yet it felt like a healing spell, almost as if a blanket of lead was lifted from his shoulders and for the first time in years, he was able to breathe.

Even so his relieve was shorten lived. As soon as the thumping in his ears slowed down, he realized a very known geo shield had materialized all around them. Well, it actually looked a little bit different, but he can’t pinpoint exactly why. He looks bewildered at Zhongli, but what he sees left him speechless.

Zhongli— no, not him. Morax, perhaps, was standing suddenly much closer. Upright on his head are two of the most beautiful horns Childe had ever seen, copper as the morning sun and breathtaking as well. The long hair was freed from his lazy ponytail, now cascading over his shoulders as a curtain of silk, the rusty gold of the tips matching the color of the horns. But his eyes, fuck, his eyes were something that Childe has only seen in his best wet dreams. They were the same but not at the same time; it was like the supernatural shine on them highlight the strange pupils, leaving no trace of disguised humanity on them.

“What—” he starts to say, but Zhongli beats him.

“I am Morax; the first born Adepti in the shape of a dragon. The one who has been called the god of war and contracts. I am also Rex Lapis, the former Archon of Liyue. A name that was given to me by my people, the one they use to tell my exploits.” His voice was something Childe had never heard before. It was like a thunder, strong, but peaceful, like the calm before a hurricane. He swallows, conscious of how soothing his voice is turning to be for him for unknown reasons. “I am Zhongli, a man who rejects any titles given to him, except for those he chooses to have. I am no longer a God, and I am no longer a source for worshipping. I chose to be a man that could live as he likes, without the pressure to watch over Liyue’s citizens.”

The man shortens the distance with Childe and steps right in front of him. He takes his gloves off, exposing fingers as black as the night, with golden paths all over them. Childe is hypnotized. And taking advantage of this, Morax runs his thumbs under each of Childe’s eyes, cleaning the humidity that pools in there with the softest of the touches.

How? How is it that Childe kept hidden all this pain with a smile so honest plastered on his face? How was it that he, who proud himself for his wisdom, never realized? The magnitude of his misstep was far more unforgivable knowing this. Zhongli had, without any place for discuss, betrayed the small amount of trust that Childe developed since childhood. The fairy was right, Zhongli had hurt Childe, not physically, but in a much worse manner.

“I have failed you way too many times, my beloved. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me, if not when you were a child, then at least when you came to me as an adult, I should have been able to protect you. It is true that at first I was to be near you to watch your moves, prevent you from doing something that could jeopardize my strategy. You were just the decoy sent by the Tsaritsa. However, the eleventh harbinger who never should have been more than a Snezhnayan soldier, became a presence so valuable inside my life that I got greedy. You offered to me so freely and careless, so honest and pure, without knowing who I really was. It was a first for me. People often approaches me because of who I am, or because they want something from me, be it my knowledge or my services. But not you.”

The soft touch of Morax’s hand on his cheek feels like a hearth melting away the winter snow. Childe allows himself to enjoy the touch. This feels so nice, so good, so right.

“By nature, I am not a nice person. I am selfish, very much so. As a dragon my possessions are to be mine alone, once I claimed something as mine, it’s unlikely I returned it or permitted it to be stolen from me. Even though the rational part of my brain tells me that you are not an object to be claimed. I took everything that you offered me, giving you everything of me in exchange, but not once you asked me a thing.”

Morax is sure that was probably because Childe was unaware of his true identity. But even in his position as Zhongli, funeral consultant, Childe never asked for much. The only times he showed anything akin to true possessiveness, was when they were in bed. A detail that made Morax rumble in excitement.

“For me, a human life is no more than a blink of the eye. When I revealed everything that day at the Northland Bank, not once it crossed my mind that you would walk away. I believed that you would listen to me and chose to forgive me for deceiving you. I thought that if I gave you enough time, you would come to me to talk. You’ll see, it’s a very common thing for me to be seek for, but not the other way around. But as you had done since the very beginning, you were against all my odds. The truth is… I was frightened.”

“Of what?” Ajax’s voice sounds strange even to his own ears. Small, so small and filled with something that he should have all but forgotten by now. Morax smiles oh so little, caressing both cheeks with his hands, cleaning with his thumbs the trail of stray tears falling from the blue eyes, whose shine is slowly climbing over once more.

“Of you leaving me. I wanted to be your thoughts, your breaths, the very reason your heart beats and every little thing that makes you smile. I wanted for you to be completely mine, and I would give you my whole for all eternity. I can bring entire empires to dust shall you order me to do so. But I was terrified you would say no, and so, I did something terrible.”

Childe knows, deep down, that his focus probably should lay on the last thing Morax said. He knows this. But he also knows he’s a terrible little creature and what ricochets all over his head is that Morax, the God of Wars, is completely at his mercy to burn fucking empires just he wishes him to do so. Talking about silver tongues.

“What did you do?”

He regrets instantly to ask, because Morax’s hands retrieve from him. Instead, he gets on his knees with a grace it should not be permitted for a single person, not once looking apart from Childe. Their eyes finally break apart when Morax’s horned head touches the floor. Both his hands are in a pleading position that Childe remembers have seen on the Zapolyarny Palace from people who, futilely, claimed for the mercy of the Tsaritsa.

Morax, the Geo Archon, prime Adepti, God of wars and contracts, is revering him.

“I swear the eternity of my life, to seek your forgiveness for what I have done. But you must not be confused, I regret nothing about my actions.” Morax says muffled from the floor.

“Zhongli… what did you do?” Childe repeats, anxiety rising slowly.

“From the moment I gave my Gnosis away, I knew some of the things I could do as a God, would cease. Is a well-known fact among the gods that Celestia does not permit us from granting our own wishes. The power that is gave to us is for everybody, except us. We can do whatever we want with it as long as it be for another person. I was okay with these conditions, but then I’ve never desired for anything with so fervency, as I desired you. I wanted to keep you to my side forever, although I knew my wish would’ve never been accomplished by my own hands. Your wish, on the other hand… it was much similar to mine.”

Childe’s wish?

Childe himself can sense his heart trying to jump right out of his ribcage. He may be a little bit lost on the trail of the conversation, but a relentless emotion was making his body shake from expectation. As Tartaglia, he taught himself to pray to none. Anything he could not do by his own two hands, it was something he would let go. But as Ajax, embraced by the love of the funeral consultant, and pampered with so sweet poetry, he could not help it.

He could deny it as much as he wanted, but Ajax knows more than well what is going to be out of Morax’s mouth even before he talks.

“You wished for us to be together eternally. For us to have the opportunity to be a family. You wished for Liyue to be your home and the place where we shared happiness. You wished so strongly and so loud, for a new life, that I thought it was too good to be true.”

For the first time since he went down, Morax lift up his head to look straight at Childe’s face, whose eyes are so open that it should be funny, but it’s not. Zhongli can practically taste the nervousness oozing from him. It’s all his fault. It’s unforgivable that he allowed himself to be the cause of all that pain, sadness and insecurities obscuring his mate's heart. Morax was going to fix it. He would not let an ounce of doubt in Childe’s mind.

“It should've been easy for me to let you go, my beloved, but I found myself uncapable of such a thing. I want to be with you until the end of the days. I want to be the first thing you see when you wake up, and the last thing you see when you sleep. I want to be the reason you laugh, the reason you cry and the reason you breathe. I want to be the same happiness in your life that your existence brings to mine, nothing and nobody are as important for me as you. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you. You are mine and mine alone. Should you decide to leave, I would follow you to the end of the world. And if your last choice is to return to Snezhnaya still, I’ll burn everything to ashes and bring you back to me. My soul is yours.”

Morax’s eyes shone so bright at the end of his speech, that for a second there Childe thought they would melt off his face. What it actually happened though, was that a gold scale of pure geo energy appeared on Zhongli’s chest.

And he would have to be stupid to not know what that entails. Childe swallows again, but his throat still feels perched.

“You—! you made a contract… with me?”

“It was the only way to have a wish of that magnitude granted. I know that I should’ve asked for your consent and—”

Cold hands trapped his cheeks, silencing him. In a second, Childe was kneeling in front of him.

“Why? Why would you do that? I know how your contracts work; I gave nothing in exchange for it to be made. How—” fuck, he cannot talk properly. He’s sure he’s going to cry. However Zhongli always understood him better than anyone else, so he gets up some more enough for them to be face to face.

“It was something that I wanted even strongly than you, my love. It could be said that it was you who made my wish come true.” Zhongli smiles so lovingly, caressing Childe’s hair. “I bonded us together forever, you do not seem to fully comprehended what that entails. Even if I am no longer a god, I am yet an Adeptus and my lifespan is very, very long. In order for us to be together, I took away your humanity. You will not get old, nor die from natural causes. If there it comes a day in which you no longer want to be with me anymore, you’re still going to be everlasting.”

It was too much. Too much information to process. He was… what? An Adepti now? Immortal? Bonded. He used that word, he said they were bonded. What does that mean? No, scratch that, he can very well understand that part.

It has a higher priority the fact that this man has done all of that for him. Because he heard Childe’s most inner thoughts. Because Ajax’s deeper yearning was for they to be one for eternity. Ajax did not think about it as something sweet, he wanted to have Zhongli for him merely because it was the source of all his happiest memories. Only because Zhongli was like water to a thirsty person, or a feast to a starving man. Zhongli was everything that Ajax lost or better said, never had or know back in Snezhnaya.

Ajax wish was selfish. It was for him to have the very first toy he was given ever.

It was selfish, so why was it then that even conscious of that, he can’t help to be flooded of so much happiness and warmth? Ajax wanted to punch him in the face, wanted to scream at him, wanted to shake him so badly that all of his neurons relocate themselves.

But between Tartaglia, Childe and Ajax, it was a given who was the strongest. He, who learned to live with a mask on at all times, leaving his needs completely buried. The same who was now offered the most primal instinct he ever held.

“I am Ajax,” he starts, voice trembling but as confident as it can be. “A child corrupted by the Abyss. An assassin of the Cryo Archon driven by his bloodlust. I am not a prize you can proudly show to anyone. My hands are stained, and my soul is surely too. I’m still going to fight you so hard, because you can rest assure than I’m still mad as hell. And you’ll probably regret what you’ve done many times in the future. I’m not what you think I am. But even then—” Ajax holds his face firmer, trying to not focus on the shake of his hands. He’s sure he’s crying but he doesn’t find in himself to care. “My soul is yours.”

It was immediate. The nexus that bonds them together as one. Ajax feels as every cell on his body was blazing with electricity; he swears that he can sense what Zhongli is thinking. Like a wave of something soft and cozy and so, so right. It’s like all his life a major piece of his whole was lost and now it was finally clicking. Ajax feels happy, relieved, comfortable but above all, he feels himself being loved. 

He's aware of his mouth running still, saying something about being broken, and discarded, dark soul, unworthy. Zhongli stops him with a very patient voice and a hand over his head.

“Your soul is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Ajax. Is warm, and pure, so bright the sun would be ashamed to rise and be, should they saw it.” Ajax laughs watery, his forehead pressed onto his shoulder. Zhongli smiles too. “The things you have to do in order to survive do not determine the person you are. My hands are as stained as yours and even then, I was chosen as a God. You are much more valuable that what you gave yourself credit. I would give away my whole hoard in exchange of you alone.”

“Such a smoot-talker.” He says after a moment, smelling the comforting scent of petrichor and sun-bathed earth that Zhongli normally has. “Are you really mine? Forever?”

“For as long as you’ll have me.” The man concedes, softly running his black fingers into the autumn hair. Ajax hums.

“Can I bring my mom and siblings, before you burn Snezhnaya to ashes?”

The fingers stop. “Do you want to return there even so?”

Ajax finally looks at him, small remnants of tears making his eyelashes heavy. “I’ll never want to come back to that place should I have a choice in the matter. But the idea of seeing it burning is oh so tempting. I had to ask.”

“You do not want to return?” Zhongli asks, puzzled.

“Do you… do you want me to go?” What the fuck?

“Of course not. But miss Xiangling told me that you were returning, so I—” I lost my mind completely sound as right, but he cannot say it. By Ajax’s face, he did a poor job to hide it.

“Xiangling told you I was returning to Snezhnaya?” Why would she have said something like that? Childe does not remember ever phrasing something merely similar to that. He wanted nothing as strongly as to never have to go there again. 

“She informed me about a new dish she was creating for your travel, something that would help you to be warm with the low temperatures.” Seeing this Zhongli, with those powerful horns and unnatural shine of his eyes, so conflicted by this mystery was putting butterflies on Ajax’s stomach.

Funnier was when realization downed on him and Ajax laughs. In view of the troubling face of the taller man, he explained him.

“I'm definitely not going back to Snezhnaya. However, Lumine and Paimon did invited me to join them to explore Dragonspine. And as I’m sure you know, that place is very cold.”

Delighted was a short way to describe what Ajax felt when Zhongli’s face turned pink at the point of his ears. He was blushing! Oh Celestia, he was so blushing.

He wants to kiss him so badly.

So he does.

And suddenly the electricity that he felt before pales in comparison.

His mouth is tinkling, the very tips of his fingers that were always so cold the last weeks are now burning. His arms, his hands, even his face is under so much heat, so nice, so right. Ajax is more invigorated than ever. Zhongli’s lips embrace his like a furnace, softly grasping his upper lip, sucking without any rush. When a so missed tongue finally appears slowly, Ajax melt. He was astride Zhongli’s legs, hands circling his neck. Fuck, how he has missed this. He lost track of time, it could have been seconds, minutes, even hours. He does not know, and he does not care. Ajax fuses into Zhongli like if his life depends on it.

It took Morax exactly this to understand why is it that Childe had so much of Xiao’s scent on him. He can almost taste the lack of strength on his body, the smell of old and new blood oozing from his back, undoubtedly wounded. Ajax’s body was drinking all the geo energy that it needed all this time and Zhongli offered it as a buffet. He pours everything that he needs, a little taken aback as how much is turning out to be. Not because he lacks resources, but for what it entails: that Ajax was close to die once again for his idiocy.

It's okay. An inner voice provides. We’re going to protect him always from now on. He’s our for all eternity.

Meanwhile, while dissolving into the vice-like embrace, Ajax can only think on how much reason his mother had, all those years ago.

He had found a place where the sun shone so bright that it could turn his skin into gold. He found a deity, unlike the Tsaritsa, that still has a soft heart and was full of love, free to take and give. And he was not even bothered by the fact that, as his mother said, they all were selfish creatures.

Because Ajax himself was also condemned by the same fate.

He never would let this man go. He was his and only his. Ajax managed to get a God for his pleasure only. He could kill for him. He could destroy entire countries for him. He could do anything for him.

Funnily enough, it was this revelation what made him laugh into the other mouth.

It seems to be that humans and gods, not always were so far away in thoughts and heart.

Chapter Text

The first time, Lumine was who overheard it.

She was inside the huge kitchen built for Xiangling when she started to join her and Paimon in their travels. Madame Ping finished a pot of fragrant tea and poured a cup for each one, along with a plate full of small, soft rice buns. Xiao made an odd face at the hidden plates Ping put under a large, thin mesh cover, one with a pastry rounder and definitely stuffed with lotus by the smell. The other one, however, had a mouthwatering smell, almond for sure in between flour, butter and sugar. He’s trying to decipher what it is by eyesight along, for curiosity of course, not because he absolutely wants to taste one, when another delicious aroma sneaks his attention away to a plate of stunning-looking almond tofu under his chin.

“You became quite good at making this.” He says softly, digging a spoon into the spongy sweet and not bothering at all in disguise the excitement for it. She had become a great chef of this dessert.

“Why, thank you! You see, someone out there promised me to be by my side whenever I happen to need him and so far long he never failed to his word, so the least I could do was to master his favorite food,” Lumine answers smiling nonchalantly, taking a sip of her cup. She can see the exact moment Xiao’s mouth twitch upside. Ha! She made him smile, small victory there.

“Oh, it seems they’re done at last,” Madame Ping says, looking right on time to Childe rounding the corner of the door. “Looking much better already, don’t you?” she adds with a small chuckle, making Ajax a bit sheepish.

“Hey there strangers, something smells genuinely nice in here! Did you really have the time to cook?”

“Childe!” Paimon yells, flying right into his chest. He wraps her up tightly with a smile. “Are you okay? He didn’t do anything to you, right? He apologized? He better should have apologized to you or I’m—”

Childe hugs her tighter laughing softly: “He did apologize and very properly too. On his knees and all,” he tells her. Just as quickly, Xiao breeds this funny sound, as if the air in his lungs has gone into the wrong pipe or he was being choked on his tea. Childe looks up at him and ask him if he was alright.

“Perfect. I’m… I’m perfect.” He says suspiciously fast. Madame Ping just laughs like she just heard a really good joke.

“Where is Zhongli, by the way?” Lumine wouldn’t bet he already left, not when he had been so adamant in being near Childe a while ago. Ajax chuckles lightly and glances at his right, where the wall of the kitchen was hiding the hall.

“He has gotten a little shy, if you can believe me? Currently he's looking a tad bit different, he said is… what’s the word you used again, Xiangshen?” He questions to the air at his right, and laughs tempted when an unintelligible mumble is heard. “Right, he said is absolutely unbecoming for someone like him to not being able to regain control of his body.”

“Oh dear lord!” Madame Ping guffaws, her head toss backwards, looking years younger. “Did he— he has the horns and the tail, doesn’t he? Oh for Celestia, this is terrific! Just wait ‘till Cloud Retainer hears about it!”

“I would appreciate if you could let this minimal incident out of Cloud Retainer’s knowledge. She already has enough embarrassing moments of me in her hands to just add another one.” Zhongli’s voice gets clearer as he finally steps inside the kitchen.

And look, you have to understand that Lumine would never thirst over a friend's partner, she’s not that kind of girl, okay? However. She can’t help herself when her mouth opens wide and refuse to close up. Her honey eyes take in the context in front of her, the… remarkably similar looking guy to her friend Zhongli, but that absolutely cannot be him. Because last time she checked, her friend Zhongli, funeral consultant, handsome, but slightly boring friend Zhongli, did not have anything protruding from his head. As this another version of him has.

And, logically, Lumine is very much aware Zhongli is the Geo Archon, God of Liyue, Prime Adepti, she learnt that already. HOWEVER. Seeing him in the flesh? Archons above, it’s like… a whole new perspective. She absolutely understands now why the statues of Liyue’s God are showing him almost naked. Lumine could’ve been an exceptionally good devotee if she had been born in Liyue.

“Ah…” She says eloquently. She doesn’t know when Paimon has let go of Childe’s chest and is now, in a very not-subtle-at-all manner, staring right into Zhongli’s —Morax? definitely Morax— horns.

“What happened to you? These things are so cool! Did you always have them?” Paimon’s little hands were touching without any trace of shame the rusty horns, her eyes shining of excitement, then she gasps loudly. “IS THAT A TAIL?! Lumine! He has a tail! And is so big, look at it! He’s like an oversized lizard!”

“An oversized—” Zhongli starts, when a specially nice stroke to the crown of his head made the big tail wiggle hard. Madame Ping wheeze for air at her own, very disrespectful, Zhongli must say, laughter. Even Xiao has turned his head to hide what must be the first laugh Zhongli has heard from him in many years. And just for that, he would allow this humiliation a little bit more. Just a little. He can’t help, however, that the tip of his ears turns into a shade of red that Childe obviously notices for how he shakes from silent glee while heading to Lumine’s side. Lumine, who still looks at him with her mouth hanging open.

Childe whispers something into her ear with a smirk that makes her whole face combust, and keeps walking toward the old lady hugging her belly from shaking merriment still. Zhongli scoffs, what an unrespectful child she is. But honestly, Streetward Rambler wasn’t the most discreet of his Adepti, despite the elderly body she chose to wear at the moment, she was always an easy and fun spirit. Much as Barbatos, someone whom in fact, she is a close friend with.

“Granny, can we grab a cup too? This smells really good.”

“Of course you can my boy, that’s what they are for. I made this for you specially though, would you want to try these first instead?” Ping then grabs one of the plates with stuffed cakes from under the mesh and Childe’s whole face light up.

“Are those… you made me— you learned how to do this, for me?” He speaks low with an unknown emotion tight in his throat.

Ajax had, in one of too many shared teas with the old lady, let her known about a classic dessert back in Snezhnaya, his favorite one. He told her how in the coldest mornings of winter when nobody could leave the house due to heavy snow and storms and the whole family was reunited, his mother and older sister made a big batch of what they called vatrushka. Essentially, a sweet bun filled with cream cheese (and in his house with almond paste) topped with fruit usually, but that Ajax loved to drown in honey and powdered sugar, with only red wild berries on top. The house after that smelled like a heavenly bakery for days, all cozy and sweet and it was one of the dearest memories he had of his childhood.

Moreover now, in front of him, a plate full of that dessert was looking right at him. Ajax thinks he could’ve cried if not for the soft voice of Madame Ping.

“Of course I did. I know the favorite dishes of all my kids, that’s what grannies are for,  aren’t they?” She holds Ajax’s hand tenderly. “You are a part of this family now, my dear. And as weird as we may be, a family we are. So now, you are going to enjoy the food, ask me if you want anything more, and in the meanwhile I’m going to bully your mate senseless because this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Okay?”

Without waiting for an answer, she strolled towards Zhongli with his ears still brightly red and what Ajax calls “the elegant pout that is definitely a pout, but Zhongli would never concede he makes” on his face. It only aggravates as he sees Madame Ping approach already laughing at him, while she attempts to emerge a daguerreotype out of nowhere and immortalize the moment. Paimon who was still floating around him, dance her feet excited and posture to the old woman, completely committed to be on the photo. While Xiao, on the corner, try and fail to hide an amused smile.

The whole situation bubbled up something warm and fuzzy in his chest and belly. Ajax feels at home for the first time in decades.

Entirely by chance, this was the exact moment passing through his head when Lumine heard it. A chirrup. A low, rumbling sound not far to a purr but too different at the same time. She stared at him curiously, her hand frozen atop the flat cake with lotus on it. Then, Ajax’s bite on the sweet in his hands does it again, the funny sound. Lumine’s completely sure it’s him, there’s nothing else close enough to be otherwise, however it seems that himself isn’t aware that’s making him. After a moment too long where her hand doesn’t move from atop the mooncake, Ajax finally sees her and smiles widely.

“Do you want to try one of these? I’m sure they’re gonna blow your mind. I’m keeping a few for Xiao too, some have almond and I want him to try them.”

Lumine laughs. What a fascinating relationship those two had built up.

“Sure, blow me.”

It takes only a nanosecond for her head to acknowledge the mistake. She raises her eyes right through Childe’s smirk, her skin heating with embarrassment.

“Kind of hard to let that go, huh? I don’t mind to share more secrets if you’re that eager.”

“Bite me.” Childe smirks widen. “PLEASE DON’T SPEAK TO ME EVER AGAIN.”

~O~~O~~O~

“I’m so glad you’ve finally come back! You have no idea how hard it is to receive a good critique such as yours. I’ve been waiting to taste the latest ideas for the autumn menu. Mister Childe, did I tell you the dish I created for your travel to Dragonspine sold incredibly well for those who work at the harbour? specially the night shift. I think the suggestions both of you made was the help for that to happen. So now—oh sorry dad, let me move this, yeah, there we go. So, as I was saying—”

“Xiangling sweetheart, breathe. They won’t be able to keep up at this pace,” Chef Mao pleads, nursing the beginning of a headache.

“Oh please, don’t stop her in our behalf Mister Mao. It’s always refreshing to feel such a great welcome. Besides, we were also craving Miss Xiangling’s new innovations.” Zhongli says, cupping a steaming cup of glaze lilies tea. Mao shakes his head but smiles nonetheless, putting down another plate into the ocean that navigated the big table already.

“See?” Xiangling buts his father shoulder playfully with hers, the bells in her head chiming softly. “Someone who genuinely appreciate my cuisine. Not like you, mister “I won’t put that thing into my mouth Xiangling, it’s purple.”

Childe snorts at her words. “It could’ve been purple because it had an ingredient from Inazuma?”

“It did not.” Both father and daughter answer in synchrony. One with much more dismay that the other.

“I want a big, big plate of honey roast. And a grilled fish too. And also crystal shrimps. Paimon is so, so hungry! All smells delicious, can we start already, please?!”

“The sticky honey roast does smells fucking good. My mouth is watering too,” Childe concedes with a hum. “Tell you what, you taste it first and tell me if I should eat it in first place also, deal?” Childe states, cutting up a slice of the dish and throwing more gravy on top. He lays the food in front of Paimon, who does a funny dance and starts digging up without a second thought. Besides her, Lumine shakes her head and steals a small, honeyed carrot.

“They shouldn’t take much longer. Ganyu’s sense of obligation is rivalry to mine.”

“My, poor thing if it is like that.” Ajax jokes, resting his head onto his palm and watching at Zhongli with a disgustingly sweet smile. He returns the grin, moving aside a lock of red hair out of his partner’s face, delaying the touch to enjoy the warm of his skin against the leather glove.

He wants to kiss him so fucking bad. But Childe knows that after almost two months traveling through the cold Dragonspine and using Lumine’s teapot, Lumine’s very shared teapot for sleep, a kiss wouldn’t suffice at all. And as much as he enjoys the thrill of breaking the law, being arrested for public indecency is not on his top ten felonies-to-commit.

Today they were all going to meet with Ganyu, who consecutively invited Xiao and also Yanfei, to an extensive meal already planned in advance of their arrival from Dragonspine. It’s curious that being Ganyu, she had not reserved a private room at Liuli Pavilion, as she was used to. Instead, Xiangling was the chosen one to lead the feast. They had put up a big, round table and fill it with more dishes than Childe has ever seen since he set foot in this country. He did not know if it was just a customary welcome for Zhongli, who had leave Liyue for more than a week for the first time after Celestia knows how many centuries, or if it was for Childe. A sort of meet-the-family reunion. He doesn’t bet for this since he already is acquainted with all of the guests though.

“Good afternoon!” A cheerful but soft voice addresses suddenly.

They all salute in kind, she had arrived of course with Yanfei as they expected, but the real surprise was that Xiao also came with them. Walking in like a normal person and not, you know, materializing from thin air as he normally does. His greeting was a mere inclination of his head while he seated himself at Zhongli’s left.

“Thank you so much for coming today. I know you must be exhausted from your journey, I’m hoping the meal suits your tastes and you can unwind at least a little bit.”

Zhongli is fast in reassuring her. “Miss Xiangling cuisine is always dependable to lift up the spirit, you have made a perfect choice, Miss Ganyu. I am eager to share it altogether, it’s truly my pleasure seeing you all reunited after such a long time, specially knowing all you had done for me recently. It should be me who thank you for the arduous work.”

One of the many, many things you learn about Zhongli interacting with Ganyu, is that both are forces to be reckon with in terms of gratitude and exchanging pleasantries. Once they both feel in debt with the other, the trade of thankfulness would be an eternal loop. Childe knows it. Xiao knows it. Lumine knows it. So it was a silent race between their eyes to sort out who would be the chosen one this time to interrupt them efficiently.

“Yes, that’s right! Everything Xiangling cooks it’s amazing! Look, Ganyu, she even cooked your favorite too! Paimon has took the duty to taste everything first, so Paimon’s final judgement is: that everything is delicious! Here, let me getting it close to you so you can start to eat already! Paimon has been waiting for such a long time, you must be so hungry too,” Paimon, invigorated thanks to her secret ration of honeyed meat, cheers loudly. She starts to put everyone favorites (surprisingly accurate) close to them so they could serve themselves. Xiangling, already done placing the dishes and seated right next to Lumine with her face shining, gets close to Lumine’s ear to murmur: “I’m gonna adopt her and feed her for the rest of my life.”

The traveler laughs and pats her blue hair with fondness. “Good luck trying to pluck her away from Childe’s claws.”

With the infinite pleasantries thankfully avoided, they all agree with the fairy and start eating with gusto. Ganyu, curiously, was fast in noticing a pattern in Childe’s picking of food.

It was something trivial, she’s not sure he’s even alert he’s doing it. She sees with fascination as he takes apart small ingredients from his selected choices, a leaf of mint, a piece of meat, the fatty middle of a black-backed perch. He picks them all and left them on the side of his plate while talking energetically with Xiangling about a Cryo Regisvine, while Lord Rex— Zhongli, while Zhongli silently picks and eats them all without looking either. In fact, he seems to be doing the exact same thing. He’s letting pieces of calla lily, red meat and bamboo shoots on the side of his own plate, for Childe to wordlessly and without even a glance to pluck them with his chopsticks and eat it.

She’s amazed at the display, to the point of forgetting to chew her own food. Lumine notices her and very, very hushed it, pocks at her thigh under the table. Ganyu breaks his trance and looks at her ashamed of her lack of manner, thinking she’s going to scold her. But Lumine smiles accomplice and whispers: “And you didn’t see the best part yet. Watch this.”

With complete smoothness, Lumine takes away the crystal shrimps from Childe’s immediacy, with the excuse of serving herself. It was a secret favorite of his in particular as of late, and sure enough, not too long after her move he unconsciously chops the blank space where they were with his chopsticks.

The fascinating bit, nonetheless, was how Zhongli, who was immerse in a talk with Yanfei about and old and surely boring law, stretched his hand towards another plate of crystal shrimps close to him and puts two pieces into Childe’s one. None of them looked at each other. They never broke the respectively conversations they were having. They did not as much as look at the damned table to see were each dish was.

“How…” Ganyu starts. Besides her Lumine laughs softly.

“We don’t know either. They just started doing that at a breakfast while we were in Dragonspine. Those things they are taking away from their food? It’s not that they don’t like them. Those just are their favorite part of each other’s meal. We discover it because Zhongli always ate the bamboo shoots and even added extra sometimes when we came here, you know? but he started to left them aside after Childe said once they tasted delicious.”

Ganyu nods slowly, as if she had been told a splendid revelation.

A few hours later, when all the food and dessert was successfully devoured, they part ways in merriment.

“It was a marvelous evening! Mister Childe, I’m glad to see you are effectively healthy once again.” Ganyu says courteously but with such honesty Ajax can’t help but hug her in an impulse. She gasps at the suddenness, but quick enough relax and giggles. Few dare to hug her like this, Cloud Retainer used to do it a lot when she was a fatty child however. Mister Childe’s hug feels brotherly. He says a soft thank you, just for her, that made Ganyu’s face glow.

“Hey, that’s not fair! I want a hug too.”

They split up to see Xiangling, with her arms in a jar and a false pout on her face.

“My, what should we do? I think I’ve already used up my whole quote for today.” He reacts, faux concern on his voice. The chef sulks intensifies before she launches at him in a bone-breaking bear hug.

Childe would like to say he was accustomed to effusive hugs due to his many siblings, but this one fight back-to-back with Tonia’s one. Tonia the beast hugger. That means he truly felt air deprived for a second there. That of course wasn’t an impediment for him to return it with the same energy after quick recovery, shaking her in the meanwhile, the chimes on her braids entirely out of control along with her laugh.

Furthermore, despite the loud chiming, she hears a noise that one hundred percent sure, wasn’t coming from her accessories. It was like a chirp, like a bird’s chirp but weird. It’s akin to a clucking, but lower, grave. Could chirps purr? It sounds like if a cat was trying to chirp. An incredibly unique sound, that she never heard coming out of any of her bells. Xiangling was committed to search the source of it once she breaks apart from Mister Childe, but the sound was already gone.

“What was that?” She asks, not knowing if he has overheard it too.

“Mm? well, I’m not an expert, but I do believe they call it a hug.”

She giggles punching his shoulder. “Well, Mister expert. It seems that your boyfriend would like to have one too.” A few meters away, Zhongli looks at them with a puzzled gaze.

“Would you look at that, you might be right. But let me tell you this, I do am an expert in the hugs he likes. Those, I could never share with you I’m afraid. However,” he gets close to her intriguing ear. “You could ask Lumine to teach you that kind of hug.”

Flustering Xiangling wasn’t something easy to achieve, you see. She may seem very innocent but has a wicked sense of humor. So the flaming hot cheeks she portrays after Childe’s words felt like a triumph on itself.

“M-mister Childe!” She tries to rebuke, tripping with her tongue. But the loud cackling told her that he was already making a victory retreat.

~O~~O~~O~

“We are so definitely going to be late…”

Zhongli’s low rumble, tracing Ajax’s navel with his mouth, makes his skin hotter than it already is. The long fingers dancing over his hip and back trace a pattern, soft, small circles with his thumb. The novelty of the obsidian and golden hands were never going to cease to amaze Ajax, he thinks. He follows the touch of those hands with each cell in his body. The contact feels like a furnace melting every single inch of his skin into a puddle of heat and want. A specially nice touch over his belly button steals him a breathy moan.

“Theres a saying I once heard. “A queen is never late, everybody is simply early.”

“So, you are a queen now?” A kiss on his happy trail fires a shiver throughout his legs.

“Not me, beloved.” Zhongli states, lifting his head once more to find Ajax’s lips. The touch is hungry, but not hurried by any means. Ajax’s arms round his neck to bring him closer. Zhongli complies, the feeling is always mutual.

He presses his tongue slowly, tracing a path he knows by heart by now. He sucks, playfully bites and stroke against Ajax’s tongue. His lips are red, swollen by all the time they have been kissing, but the thirst of more closeness never quite quench. Zhongli’s hands glide all over his lover’s cheeks. His thumbs revere the soft skin under the blue eyes, closed but imprinted on his memory already. They move to his cheekbones, absorbed in the softness they find, in the rising warm the temporary rosiness of the constantly snowy complexion creates.

Ajax moans into the kiss, biting Zhongli’s lips. When his eyes find each other, sun against ocean, they smile.

“This queen thinks, that sounds exceptionally good. This queen also thinks, Moon Carver is going to perform a double rite of departed if we made her wait precisely today. We barely keep our head the last time.”

Despite his words, he is the one to peck him again.

Zhongli’s left hand had traveled oh so discreetly towards his mate’s inner thigh. Ajax gasps softly, kissing him harder. An encourage if he ever wanted one. Though they rarely need those sort of reassurances to communicate, in particular in bed. When the God’s hand finds Ajax’s member and gives a languid but firm stroke, he simply recognizes that they’re gonna have to hand over apologies for their tardiness.

His mate’s legs tremble slightly while they part a bit. Cute. Zhongli find him so irresistible cute. So perfect.

“I love you.” He declares solemnly, staring into the deep ocean of Ajax’s eyes. They brighten, a flush taking all over his cheeks and the tip of his nose.

“I love you too.”

Ajax kiss him more ardently, this time. He is a great expert in talking without words, as always. They both know a simple love is not sufficient to classify what they feel for each other. The bond they share, the deep tug at the very core of their existence whenever they’re close. The fulfillment of embrace one another after a long day apart. The silent agreement, understanding never voiced before, never needed to, of belonging. Zhongli belongs to Ajax in a manner he never belonged to anyone, not even to the city he forged and teach to be free of his hand.

Zhongli would never allow Childe to be free in the same way.

Zhongli, Rex Lapis, Morax, every self, claims Ajax as his only mate for eternity. A much possessive quality he has, indeed. Dangerous? undisputable. For whom? Well. Probably for everyone except them.

Because every bit of his soul is ready to bend the world in shambles for this man at the command of his word.

The same way Ajax would set ablaze every nation, Celestia in itself and whoever divinity cross in his path for Zhongli.

A dangerous, really dangerous pair they make, for sure.

A sudden shift from the redhaired changes their positions. Ajax now stares at him from a wonderfully comfortable position, seated onto his stomach. Once again, Ajax thinks, what a remarkable work the sculptures around Liyue had captured. Marble abdominals without a doubt.

“The queen has decided that this is what’s gonna happen: I’m gonna suck you off now, very nicely and slow, just how you like. And then you’re going to fuck me until we’re both dry and exhausted, but nonetheless greatly relaxed for this very, extremely stressing evening ahead of us. However, what we’re going to say when Cloud Retainer opts to take our heads off with her beak, is that I had a deplete in adeptal energy and you of course had the requirement to help me with that. Such a nice mate you are.”

Zhongli’s laugh is always a delight to Ajax’s ears, the low, gravel-like rumble makes his whole body tremble with a burst of too many feelings. This mirth should not pair so good with the dark and open hunger in his golden eyes, but they so much do.

“The word of my queen is sacred. We shall proceed with all those promising statements then.”

~O~~O~~O~

“This one is going to chop your heads off and put them in the middle of this one’s table, full of sweets and candies to offer to guests.”

Was the first thing Cloud Retainer said, her angry demeanor betrayed for the excited flutter of her wings.

“Oh c’mon, we’re not even that late. We’re the guests of honor after all,” Ajax tries playful, but quickly shut his mouth when the piercing eyes of the bird poses on him.

Plan B would be then.

He takes out a bamboo box, secured with a thin string on the lid. Cloud Retainer watch, unimpressed. Ajax clear his throat.

“I… Um, I bring you this. Zhongli told me they were the meals you often choose, I would be delighted to cook them for you myself if you allow me, another time. I um, I did not have the opportunity this time.”

Cloud Retainer refined sense of smell tells her that inside the box are at least two dishes, and one is most certainly matsutake meat rolls. Her mouth water and her eyes shine. But for some reason she looks affronted and conflicted. Ajax took this a bad sign and retreat the box slowly, an apology already forming on his tongue. However, Zhongli’s hand on his shoulder and calm demeanor stops him.

“My friend, there’s not a formality nor a debt to be paid right now. This is merely a token of our part for our tardiness. You should not take it as more, we are aiming to honor your bid of the ritual such as you requested. This does not form a part of the exchange nor will put you in an obligations toward us, rest assured.”

Ajax blinks, not quite understanding. But it’s obvious Zhongli’s words were the right choice, for Cloud Retainer whole demeanor relax.

“To think this one would receive a gift from the honored one, before we could do it first,” she scoffs softly. “This one accepts your gift if those are the circumstances, honored one. This one expresses her gratitude for the consideration and assure you this one’s going to make the best of this gift.”

The white crane then proceeds to take the box into her wings, more fluffed that seconds ago. Later, Zhongli would explain that happens whenever she felt happy. He also explained that this whole ceremony, it’s a sacred ritual they design millennia ago, when the Guili assembly was created. The sole purpose was to give welcome to the mate of the Prime Adepti, and acknowledge their permanence and acceptance into their world. The exchange of gifts was a sacred part of this ritual, so the fact Childe had offered himself to gift her something first, as the one being celebrated, had put her in a conflicted position.

Ajax stands silent for a moment, watching carefully at Zhongli, dressed in regalia of black with a pattern of golden dragons all over it. His red eyeliner, which wasn’t in fact make up but his actually pigmentation, today enhanced with proper cosmetics that make the gold of his eyes a pit of rising sun. His hair abnormally free of his amber pin, flowing as a curtain down his back and shoulders and the copper antlers displayed in all his magnificence.

He looks slowly at himself. A remarkably similar outfit, but in a deep red. His chosen pattern of golden phoenixes instead. Ajax considers, replays sudden, trivial details that had apparently escaped from his attention the lasts weeks. Months, he would dare to say. As for example, the commitment of Ganyu to pick the best-quality fabric to custom-made these very same outfits. A work it took not less than two and a half months, since apparently it had to be done by the hand of a specific seamster. How she seemed abruptly intent in learn to the bit the preferences of food and drinks of Ajax. How, every time they meet up, which were a lot more, now that he thinks it, Ganyu carried with her a clipboard that she filled to the brim, every single time.

A nervous laughter creeps through his throat. Some may say it sounded almost as a choking bird. Ajax would differ, thank you.

“Zhongli? Xiangshen, little piece of shiny, hot rock in my life. Please,” another anxious chuckle. “Please tell me this is not a wedding ceremony. Oh heavens above, If I would to be married without informing my family beforehand they’re going to tear me a new one, Zhongli. I mean it.” Ajax says with a new sense of urgency. Fuck, is he is being married without Tonia as his flower girl, the next time he visits Snezhnaya he most definitely was going to sleep in the barn.

Zhongli snorts loudly, an undignified and very much wild snort that made Ajax fall in love a bit more despite his anxiety.

“Your family sounds like wonderful people to meet. If they can elicit this fear in you by thinking you eloped…” The ex-Archon laughs softly. “I assure you, my love, this is not a wedding. We’re just going to celebrate you into our most intimate circle.”

“That still sounds awfully lot like a wedding, dear,” Ajax insisted, fighting the feeling of tickles in the palm of his hands. “I mean, we’re here, all dolled up, surrounded by the people you essentially bestow the title of family and closest friends. In a sacred place for your family. Hosting a banquet.”

Zhongli hums, grabbing his chin while he says: “Well, I suppose if I would to compare both, this one does have many resemblances to human weddings, now that you mention it.”

Gods, Ajax think he’s going to freak out a little more severely. But to his fortune, the soft touch of Zhongli’s hand over his jaw drags Ajax’s mind to firm land. “Rest assured, beloved. We can have two weddings. The other one will take place at a later date I reckon. Overall, such a blissful ceremony will take at least a year and a half to plan in its entirety. Besides, I must keep the proper path of courting, and such requires I must present myself to your family and ask for your hand in marriage.”

Ajax is stunned for a moment, intense warm eating up his whole body from the tip of his toes until the tip of his ears. “You’re planning to do that? Meet my family and ask for my hand?” he asks lowly, completely focused on the warm ember eyes, sparkling when Zhongli returns the gaze and smile, besotted beyond repair.

“Of course I do. Your family is a sacred part of you, and anything you deem sacred it is for me too. Besides, you once told me your little sister, Tonia, was dabbling in the wedding dresses world after she assisted to your cousin wedding. Although I do not think a dress is what you are going to wear, there are many a guests who will. She would be delighted to—"

The smash of hunger lips silences him. Ajax is grabbing his head with enthusiasm, but a testament of his restrain is the fact that he keeps his tongue tucked away. He does, however, withdraw a little to watch at his beautiful, perfect, gorgeous God exclusively his, before kissing him again.

“Fuck, I love you so much, I think I’m going to explode. I love you so fucking much, Zhongli—”

The older man does not reply, he does not need to, only searches for his mate’s lips again and lose himself a little in the moment. Not too long, however, since a very loud and not subtle at all cough made them apart and look at their right. There were Cloud Retainer, a menacing aura surrounding her, and Ganyu, bright pink on the face awaiting for them.

“I’m… I’m sorry for interrupting—“Ganyu starts shy, obviously trying to deflect de ire of her mentor away. “The arrangements for the ceremony are already finished. So if you please follow me, we shall start now.”

Ajax hides his face in Zhongli’s neck to muffle an embarrassed giggle. The gentle caress on top of his red hair makes him want to not move at all. They follow them anyways, the ex-fatui hand carefully cradled in Zhongli’s one.

The couple is situated into a not-so-high pedestal of rock, acclimated with lots of cushions and soft cloths, of course, black, golden and red as to not break up the whole scheme of the ceremony. Since here, the breathtaking view of Mt. Aocang render him speechless. The venue was going to be held throughout the night, as Zhongli and Ganyu had told him, as to be blessed with the power of moon as well as the sun, a really long-standing tradition itself.

The guests weren’t many. All the Adepti, some he never saw before, Lumine and Paimon, Xiangling who they have decided was trustworthy enough to be part of this secret, and also was the catering chef too. And an individual whom Ajax thought he never would have been able to meet in person. Barbatos, the Anemo Archon, stood cheery next to Lumine and Xiao.

“He seems young.” He can’t help to muster. Zhongli follows his eyes, scoffing with some kind of fondness.

“Do not let him deceive you. We’re almost the same age.”

A discreet clearing of throat calls their attention to the front, where seven figures are in a semi-circle, facing them. Cloud Retainer is who speaks first.

“The members of this assembly had reunited here today to give welcome, to celebrate and bless, the chosen life-mate of our first kin, Lord Morax. The life-mate of our leader, Rex Lapis. The life-mate of our friend, Zhongli.” She starts, regal and gentle at the same time. Zhongli listen to her with pride bubbling in his chest. For her to chose those words, it means much more than they could ever speculate. “For such a glorious instance, we shall discard our robes of guardians and display for the honored one, our purest identity.”

Immediately afterwords, one at a time, the animal figures enclosed by their respective element, divested from his feathers and fur and show themselves as regular, young women and men. Even Ping, beautiful granny Ping, had rejuvenated into a stunning woman.

“This one would introduce herself once more, honored one. My name is Cloud Retainer, I dispose myself to your protection and command, as the partner who share his soul with My Lord. You have my blessing.”

Cloud Retainer vows, with a reverence to the couple. Despite the whole magnanimous speech, the happiness she shows is contagious. When she gives a step back, the one who used to be a brown Crane follows.

“This one introduces himself, honored one. I am Mountain Shaper, I bestow my services and protection to your eternal life. You have my blessing.”

Then, the reindeer. “It’s my greatest pleasure to give you the welcome to this… found family, honored one. My name is Moon Carver. It is with the utmost happiness than I devote my life to guarantee the protection and long-span of yours from now on. You have my blessing.”

In a second, Ajax grabs Zhongli’s hand and squeezes it hard. The older watches him concerned, but just a peek softens him entirely. He squeezes in return, drawing small circles with his thumb.

The young, sunny Madame Ping was next.

“Greetings, honored one. My name is Street Rambler, you also may call me Ping. It is with the joy of my heart and soul that I welcome you and entrust my life to protect yours, as well as any blood you share, for the rest of my eternity to the best of my capabilities. You have my blessing.”

When she steps back, the next one was Yanfei in name of his father and also herself. Her speech much similar to the ones before. Ganyu then, after her. She is so open and sweet with her blessing, almost like a sister who welcomes a close member of her family after a long travel. The grasp on Zhongli’s hand is steady, an anchor. Ajax thinks he can make it without a slip-up.

Then, of course, came Xiao’s turn.

“I welcome you, honored one. My name is Alatus, also known as Xiao. Today, it is with great honor that I put myself at your service and protection. As the one who share the soul with Lord Rex Lapis, the one who he chose for the rest of his life above anything else, you have become the source than I shall protect the most. The one who grants My Lord’s eternal happiness. You have my blessing.”

Fuck.

Xiao had not even retreated from his reverence when Ajax hiccup breaks out. He is fast to cover his face with the whole palm in a futile attempt to muffle them, but the fucking tears and hiccups don’t stop and make his body tremble. He tries to generate a coherent sentence to apologize and explain he’s not having cold feet. He’s most definitely not having anything akin to a doubt, in fact is exactly the opposite.

Ajax feels so overwhelmed with happiness he does not know what to do.

He thinks Paimon’s voice is suddenly very close, and sure enough a moment later he feels her small hands patting his head along with Zhongli. She asks hastily if he’s alright and his beautiful specimen of a husband is fast in telling her than he is. It takes a handful of minutes to calm down properly. An embarrassing handful of minutes, Ajax can’t help to think.

Once he deems himself composed enough, the knowing smiles of not just the seven adeptus, but from all the guests, bore right into his skull. Ajax has no proof but no doubts either, than his face must be fighting side-to-side with his attire in shade of color.

With eyelashes still damp, he clears his throat. “I’m sorry for interrupt. I was… yeah, I’m sorry.”

“The honored one shall not extend his apologize. This assembly is beyond glee for having such an impact in the honored one with our words. All of us spoke with the utmost sincerity and the honored reaction was the same.”             Cloud Retainer expresses with a big smile. It’s a charming thing to know about her, than despite his rudeness as a crane, she is a gentle woman. Ganyu always talks very fondly of her, and he now understands why.

“Besides! Now is time for the exchange of gifts, we’re all hoping you like what we’ve chosen. And” Ping adds with great emotion. “The banquet can start already while we do it, so we don’t starve until we finished.”

“Yes!” they all hear, Paimon dancing more than pleased with the idea. Ajax smiles and squeezes once more his husband’s hand. Gods, his husband. He so totally married here. This was a topic he definitely would skip to tell her sister in the next letter.

“Are you okay?”

“More than okay. A tad bit hungry too, if you want to know” Ajax says teasing, stealing a quick peck. Zhongli holds him by the jaw a moment longer, a deeper kiss that’s like a secure for both of them. They’re fine. They’re together. They’re surrounded in a cocoon of bliss, and they will enjoy until the last drop of the occasion.

Nor needing to keep a strict agenda, both of them got up towards the table filled with all kind of dishes. So many, in fact, that Ajax takes a long minute identifying the ones that came direct from Snezhnaya culinary books. Not only had Ping learned these many recipes, but what’s also more, it’s that Xiangling herself committed to the same goal. In Ajax’s head it’s still surreal to think, mere seven months ago, that just the possibility of being with Zhongli after the Osial accident was in the cards to pick from. And now here he stands, married with him and with a new, huge and weird family too.

A by now familiar, warm and cozy feeling tautens his stomach and chest at the thought.

Ajax, Childe and most certainly Tartaglia if he was still an active part of his life, thrill at the unadulterated happiness they are being pampered with.

“Hiya, Mister mate of this old lizard! We didn’t have the opportunity of introduce.” A melodious voice calls from Ajax’s left, with a bottle of some kind of alcohol on his hand. “I’m Venti, the bard. The best and oldest friend of your new husband, pleasure to meet you!”

“Oldest being the key. We have almost the same age, Barbatos.” Another voice, tired but affectionate says.

“Venti the bard, as I said.”

Ajax snorts amused. “Nice to meet you, Venti the bard. If I didn’t know better, I would dare to say you have an uncanny resemblance to the Anemo Archon.”

“Well, what can I say. One of those faces, I have. For what I’ve heard, he’s a very good looking guy, so I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“I’ve heard he’s an alcoholic” Lumine’s voice suddenly says, her mouth chewing a mushroom on a stick.

“And I that he’s a tone-deaf-bard.” Paimon double, totally unimpressed. “Oh no, wait. That’s you.”

Zhongli hides an undignified chuckle in Ajax’s nape, sending a shiver down his spine in the process. “Such a good reputation the Anemo Archon has.” He jokes.

Venti smiles as if it wasn’t him the one being offended. “It’s good that I’m not him, then. I’m just a bard who enjoys the small pleasures, such as a good wine, and playing music. So, I bring to the newlyweds a gift to express my desire of bring that joy to your lives too!”

Venti then does an outstanding and magnificent reverence, no doubt an exaggerated gesture that makes him smile. From a couple of anemo bubbles next to him, he grabs one and exhibits the gift: a tall, obscure bottle without any label to Zhongli. He accepts it and try to pry the content. “It was hard to save a few bottles of this for so many years, you know? You may as well kiss me from the effort. I also am hoping to share it with you, so there’s that alternative as well.”

Once his words are processed, Zhongli widen his eyes, pleasantly surprised indeed. “Is this osmanthus wine?”

“Yep! And not just a replica, I saved a good stack of this before my last sleep, and they are all in mint condition. This, my friend, is a millennia-old, original taste, Morax favorite, osmanthus wine.”  

Wow, it’s a testament of an excellent gift just how pleased Zhongli is. His whole face illuminated while cradling the bottle. Why, now he’s curious.

“I recognize this gift as one of the best you could’ve bring, dear friend. It makes me genuinely glad I can share it with my new family, this time.”

Venti’s merry laugh is so honest and carefree it’s impossible not feel contagious. Ajax is definitely lost in the translation, it must be something intimate. However is enough to see how happy he is, he does not need to know exactly what does that bottle denote.

“To think Barbatos would dare to be the first one to initiate the exchange!” the outraged echo of Cloud Retainer’s voice rumble. Venti shrinks his shoulders and sticks his tongue out, not feeling at ounce of remorse.

“Oops.” Was all he said.

“She’s going to hang your head in her front door, you know?” Ajax tells him, chewing a tender piece of bamboo shoot. “She wanted to be the first one. I think she’s waiting for this ceremony to happen since a long time.”

“Cloud Retainer was the one who design this ritual,” Zhongli admit as a passing thought. Ajax definitely did not know that. “I believe she would get along wonderfully with Tonia, my love.”

He understands then. “She likes weddings!”

The ex-Archon smiles soft. “She likes to celebrate love. This type of major ceremony was designed so carefully, exclusively for my mate, for I’ve never exhibited any intention of getting one. She devised Yanfei’s parents’ marriage too. As Adepti, our lifespan is very long, and such opportunities came once in many centuries. Do not be conned by her hard approach as a guardian, Cloud Retainer is one of the gentlest souls I ever saw.”

“Now I feel bad for her, waiting for so many years, and lost against Venti.” A pause. Ajax turns slowly, cradling Zhongli’s face tender. He gifts himself the pleasure to ogle him without any shame, taking advantage of the human Cloud Retainer yelling at Venti. “You never wanted a partner?”

“There was never someone to whom I thought I could devote my life for eternity. Many I held dear, that’s true, but not in this light. My most primal instinct is to mate for life, so a decision as that one should not be taking lightly.”

The tips of his fingers tickle when the God kisses each one with devotion.

“Not even Ghuizhong?”

He thanks everything that’s holly for his voice to not show just how much importance that simple sentence holds for him. Ajax had read almost every historical record about Liyue, books where a grand majority recounted Morax and Ghuizhong as a perfect, divine couple that had the approve of basically Liyue’s entirety. He doesn’t want to sound like a doubtful man. He really doesn’t. But the ever present comparison inside his head was unavoidable. If Ajax were to compete against the ghost of a deceased partner that was truly so loved…

But Zhongli understands him better than himself. He always knows how to read him as an open book. His face become softer, comprehensive. And overflowing with love.

“Ghuizhong was an important piece in my life, in the same way Barbatos is. She was a soothing soul, charmed by the human world. She taught a God like me, one of war, violence and strategy, how to feel admiration for something as fragile as a human being. The me back in that time saw humans as something disposable. I’m not proud to admit that, but for me, if you could not survive the unkindness of a battle, then you were worthless on my eyes. Ghuizhong had such a fragile body despite being a goddess, I often think perhaps that’s why she felt so close to humans. She was patient enough to make me see a worth in that ephemeral life they carried. When she died, I wanted to honor her wish of peace, so I protected Liyue’s citizen in her place.”

He stops a moment to kiss his husband, playing with the short, soft locks of red hair on his nape.

“I never saw her as more than that. We did not pursue any kind of romantic feelings for each other, but for the historians, that’s how we probably were seen to the unknown eye. Furthermore…” he approaches his mouth to Ajax’s ear, so slow that goosebumps rise on the other’s arms. “She was the chosen partner of Ping.”

Ajax gasps so loudly, so fucking loudly that even Xiangling turns to see him. But Zhongli only laugh, still lost in the needy greed of keep touching any available part of Ajax. Fortunately, the chit-chat resumes once a lyre begin to resound with a jaunty tune.

“I most definitely not read anything about that,” is the first thing coming out of his mouth. Fuck, now he feels like an overreacting and jealous partner for no damn reason. He also feels the need to express regret to Ping. For what? He does not know. Perhaps for thinking of her partner in such a somber light for a long time.

“They were very discreet with their relationship, not many knew.”

“So… in all the centuries you’ve been alive, you never thought in getting a partner.”

“Not until I met you,” the natural confession makes a summersault in poor Ajax’s heart. How simple has he become to be pleased for this man. “I did not know, at first. What I desired from you. Your companionship was different. I wished for every meeting to last a little bit more, just so I could enjoy your presence. Then, I started to think of you at all free moment and when not free too. Asking myself if you have been eating well. Or if you had had a good night of sleep, I observed the dark bags under your eyes frequently. Only thinking, if he were to sleep next to me, I’m sure I can make those marks disappear.”

“Zhongli…”

“After we kissed for the first time, that’s when I knew. A primal, rouge feeling of possessiveness scream at me to claim you. That I grab you and hide you in my den, wrap you with the finest jewelry and the most exquisite accommodations, so lavish even kings never had the pleasure to dream about. But none would ever suffice for me. I am determined to give you every single thing you ask from me. Richness, treasures, power. I’m not an easy man to please, my beloved. I’m not tempted for beauty or status. I am the status.” The deep voice robs until the last sound from Ajax proximity. Zhongli—Morax’s glance holding so firmly the ocean blue of his own eyes was a view farthest mesmerizing that the Mount they were located right now. A heat, slow but heavy as molten lava crawl through his body, burning where Morax’s touch sites. His back, his neck, his face. In a second, they are the only ones Ajax’s mind acknowledge.

“You are strong, sturdy, agile. You are easily able to keep up with me in a battle, you could actually surpass me, given the time. And I wanted to see that scenario so badly, Ajax. I wanted for us to spar together, I wanted to thrill once more in a battle with a skilled opponent as you. And at the same time I wanted to cherished you so, that nor a scratch could mar your skin. I have not a limit nor a control to the extents I am able to go for you. I can start and win wars just for you, rendered to do anything to see your happiness always fulfilled. It’s scary. Scarier though, is that the simple idea of you leaving me, made me crazy. My love is terrifying. Is overwhelming, and to think you could find me that way, is the single most fearful thing I ever faced. You hold a power over me no one ever dare to dream of, beloved. It was this, all of these thoughts, what made me realize. You, not even trying to achieve to conquer me, hold me so tight on the palm of your hands, is frightening. So, what else could this exhilarating combination mean, if not for me to bare you my soul as my chosen mate, Ajax. You are the only one who can and has ever make me feel this way. You are my only one, now and forever.” Zhongli, once again Zhongli golden warm, stares at him, at his no doubt wet eyes. Ajax feels giddy, lighter, as if floating about a spongy cloud. He laughs wet, unbecoming, for sure. The hard effort of his husband this morning to apply make up into his face is probably wasted now, with all the crying he did. He is griping the lapels of Zhongli’s robes so hard they wrinkle beyond repair, still laughing. He’s not so sure what’s so funny though, but the bubbling prevents him from stop.

What does succeed in stop everything in a quite literal manner though, is the sound.

The chirp, which is not a chirp. The purr not strong enough to be a purr. A rumble who reverberates all around his chest and belly and tickles his throat when is out.

The lyre freezes immediately, putting a blanket of silence aside from Ajax’s sound.

Zhongli’s hands are quick in frame his mate’s face. An astounded look embodied his own.

“What? What happened?” Several shocked gasps and whispers begin to race at such speed, Ajax can’t pinpoint who is more frenzied.

“Did he—”

“Yes!”

“How can that be possible? What’s—”

“—another one!”

“—stories, but never heard it in person.”

“So that’s why you married at last! You old geezer, I would never believe you had it in you.” Venti, the one who was close enough to be heard the entire sentence, says with excessive glee.

“What are you all talking about?!” Ajax tries to turn and look at them, but the strong grip of Zhongli doesn’t budge in the least.

“I knew it! I wasn’t crazy after all, I’ve heard him made that sound before, what does it mean?” Xiangling ask. “Is he going to become a bird?”

Ajax pales, a bird? Fuck no. The utmost respect towards Cloud Retainer and Mountain Carver, but the feather world wasn’t made for him.

“Yeah, he did it that one time too. When you two… ah, reconciled.” Lumine adds, not having a clue either of what’s really happening.

Ping all but screeches. “That was months ago! How is it possible we didn’t notice it before?”

“NOTICE WHAT?” The scream of a now frantic Ajax, who fears he’s becoming a bird, halts the attention once again.

“That you are currently carrying Lord Zhongli’s offspring.” Ganyu, always dependable, sweet and fucking insane Ganyu, says elated.

Ajax makes a near-to-mental-breakdown chuckle. “Is this… is this part of the ceremony? Did I miss an important part?”

The sound doesn’t stop this time. Is surreal, really, how he can be emitting a sound he’s not sure his body could, to begin with. However, the silly idea of being essentially pregnant with Zhongli’s child is not as terrifying as it sounds. Logically, Ajax is aware his very much male body does not have the necessary bits for that to happen. Even more logical, he reminds himself that a group of cranes and a reindeer had turned themselves into humans in front of his very own eyes and that he had achieve immortality by proxy of becoming an ancient God’s spouse.

Suddenly, a pregnancy sounds like an extremely feasible situation.  

The sound purrs louder.

Fuck, he was actually happy with the idea, huh?

A new purr adds to the cacophony, Ajax doesn’t have to look the source since his face is vibrating due to Zhongli’s very unique purr. His was lower and deeper still.

“So, that means I’m not turning into a bird?”

Venti cackles. “No, it means that you are carrying a dragon’s clutch, and that noise you makes means that you feel secure enough to lay them out on your actual nest.”

“Do I have a nest?” Ajax ask, lost.

“We do not. For now. We can craft as many as you wish though, with the whole lot you desire to put into them.” Zhongli replies, yet elated with the sound coming from his mate’s chest. “I love you so much, Ajax.”

Ajax chest rumbles louder, almost like a roar trying a purring. “I love you more.”

The whole ceremonial meal after that became a completely new thing. All the Adepti surrounded the honored couple, which consisted in Ajax utterly comfortable laying in between Zhongli’s legs, both positioned into the cushioned altar, meanwhile they were drowned in questions. It seems that a dragon’s clutch was an even without precedents in Liyue. On the other hand, Barbatos turned out to be an expert on the issue. A close friend of him called Dvalin provided all this information and more.

So overall, Ajax was mentally prepared to tell his family that not only did he resigned his job and get married, but also got pregnant in the middle. That was going to be a hell of a tea party back at home. He can only hope dragon’s, or dragon’s mates in this case, do not grow such big bellies as the ones he remembers seeing in Morepesok as a child.

Which reminds him…

“How much time does this kind of pregnancies take?”

“Oh, that differ in everyone. But normally, it could take from seven months up to two years.” Venti replies, sipping a large cup of a clear alcohol.

Seven months, well, is not that bad, he can—

“Wait, what?”