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Sunlight was streaming through the open window and Kakashi could just make out the sounds of people in the streets below. As he slowly worked his way into consciousness, he could feel a warm body pressed next to him and hear soft, rhythmic breathing. Cracking his eyes open, he took in Iruka’s sleeping face, dark hair framing his strong jawline, drool marks on his pillow. He couldn’t believe that he was lucky enough to have survived two shinobi wars and that Iruka liked him. While he didn’t believe in karma, he did think that having to go through two shinobi wars was maybe a little much…but then he looked down at Iruka again and decided that nothing would be too much if he could have the teacher like this in his life.
As much as Kakashi wanted to just stare at the blissfully sleeping man, he also knew that he would need to leave soon. Duty called or whatever. That didn’t mean he couldn’t take a few minutes to make Iruka coffee and pancakes though…
Using all of his shinobi training he climbed out of Iruka’s grasp, pulled on his pants and made his way to the kitchen. Kakashi had slowly and (he hoped) slyly been upgrading Iruka’s cooking equipment over the last month or so of their dating. Replacing a wok here, a knife there, until the kitchen finally started to feel usable. Grabbing the kettle, he filled it with water and set it on the stove - today felt like a french-press day. While the water boiled he set about getting the ingredients for buttermilk pancakes and set to his task with the speed that got him written up in the Bingo books as “Do Not Engage”. Just because the most dangerous thing he did now was cut fruit pieces into smiley faces didn’t mean anything.
He was just finishing the coffee when strong arms snaked around his waist and warm breath ghosted over his cheek.
“Sukea, you didn’t have to do all this.”
Turning in Iruka’s embrace, he kissed him softly. “No, but I wanted to. I have an all-day business thing and I wanted to give you something nice before I left.” Kakashi cupped Iruka’s cheek, running his thumb along the edge of the scar he’d come to love so much.
Iruka was idly tracing Kakashi’s own scars, the large “X” that was the parting gift from Obito across his chest. Looking up, lips pushed out in a pout that made Kakashi’s knees go weak, Iruka nodded. Honestly, what work nonsense was more important than being with this gorgeous man? Village be damned, they can suffer through having a snot-nosed teen as their Hokage, Kakashi had better things to do.
“Okay, when are you free? I have a mission scheduled for tomorrow and I’ll be gone for a few days. Will I get to see you before I leave?” Oh right. That mission, the mission with Iruka. The mission with Iruka where Kakashi would be his Hokage and not...Sukea. Kakashi sighed and pulled Iruka closer.
“Shit, I forgot you were leaving tomorrow. I probably won’t get to see you, so let’s have breakfast together and we’ll celebrate when you get back.”
“Celebrate? What are we celebrating?” Iruka asked, looking confused.
Kakashi grinned and flicked Iruka’s nose playfully, “Our two month anniversary.”
Iruka snorted loudly, grabbing the offending fingers, pressing kisses to the fingertips. “Well if your idea of a celebration is even better than this breakfast then I can’t wait. Now, give me coffee and a plate of those overly decorated pancakes.”
Everything was going perfectly.
Everything was going to hell. Kakashi struggled to keep his eyes open as his head bounced with each jump Iruka made through the trees. His arms hung heavily over the chūnin’s shoulders, Iruka keeping Kakashi attached to his back like an onbaa while he flew from limb to limb.
Kakashi could catch glimpses of cliff faces and could hear the sound of a river nearby, which he hoped meant that they had crossed back into the land of fire. Unfortunately they hadn’t been gone long which meant that it was unlikely help would arrive anytime soon.
“Just a little longer Kakashi-sama, just stay with me a little longer and then I swear you can collapse to your heart’s content,” Iruka murmured, voice pitched low and Kakashi could feel his jaw muscles moving as they were basically cheek-to-cheek. In any other situation Kakashi would have shivered in pleasure, now he was thinking the shivers were much more likely drug-induced. How could he have been so stupid?
His brain tiredly filtered through the events that lead up to them now flying through the forest at break-neck speed back to Konoha. Diplomatic missions were supposed to be low risk dammit, which is the only reason that he agreed to the council’s suggestion to add Iruka to the negotiation party. Iruka was likeable (much more so than Kakashi was the unsaid but strongly implied part) and there had been some discussion of establishing a student exchange program. So off to Takigakure they went, Kakashi, Iruka, and a small handful of Anbu to start discussions and build on their tentative peace. But it turns out that peace wasn’t on their minds.
Instead they had a half-baked scheme to take the Hokage of Konoha hostage to negotiate for return of their tailed beast (which was never going to happen seeing as how the seven-tails had fucked off to parts unknown and was currently loving life as a free-being). This all came to light after Kakashi became spectacularly drugged following dinner, collapsing into the tray of treats they served with coffee. Everything after that is incredibly fuzzy, Kakashi remembers hearing Tenzo shout to Iruka...something something...Hokage...and yeah that’s it really. Oh, that and the gut wound. He knew he was forgetting something. Bleeding out slowly will do that to you.
“Kakashi-sama,” Iruka’s soft whisper breaks him out of his trip down memory lane. “There’s a Konoha safe-house up ahead, I’m going to stop there so that I can bind your wound. I’m pretty sure that Cat would be very put out with me if I let you die.”
Kakashi laughed breathlessly and attempted to give Iruka a thumbs-up but he still couldn’t really control his limbs so he just ended up twitching slightly. “I’m going to assume that’s an approval,” Iruka said under his breath and gripped Kakashi a little tighter as he picked up speed. Soon they were landing lightly in front of what looked like the results of a landslide by the riverbank. Navigating around the larger pieces of rock, Iruka followed what could almost be called a path until they were in front of a large boulder. Iruka looked around briefly before infusing a small amount of chakra in his hand, pressing his palm to what looked like a seal carved directly into the cliff face and the large boulder hiding the entry to the safehouse moved inward enough to allow them passage.
As soon as the boulder sealed behind them, Iruka dropped to his knees and propped Kakashi against the wall. Overall the room was little more than a cave but there was some kind of light emitting from the ceiling - Kakashi guessed some kind of seal work, and given that Iruka knew about this place it’s a non-negative probability that Iruka may have had a hand in them.
Iruka knelt between Kakashi’s legs and took a kunai out of his thigh holster. “Kakashi-sama, I’m going to take your vest off and I’ll need to remove your shirt in order to properly dress the wound before we head back to Konoha. I promise I’ll leave your mask on,” Iruka added with a wry smile.
Kakashi tried to pry his eyes open a little bit more (when did they get so heavy?) and flapped a hand toward Iruka in an attempt to let him know it was fine. Undoing the snaps on the vest takes seconds and it’s quickly moved to the side. Blushing slightly, Iruka started cutting away his shirt, leaving the mask portion by cutting around the neck and then slicing the rest of the shirt down the middle. Kakashi sucked in a breath as the fabric pulled at the wound in a most unpleasant way. Iruka’s hands are on him immediately...but on his chest? Did he get hit there too and didn’t notice?
“Iruka…”
“Hokage-sama, would you care to explain why you have the same scar as my boyfriend?”
“Well shit,” Kakashi slurred as he promptly passed out.
Kakashi woke up in the hospital to Tenzou peeling a lemon which must have been part of the fruit basket that had an overly optimistic ‘GET BETTER SOON’ card in it. Seeing as how he had never gotten fruit baskets in the hospital before, he assumed it was part of the perks of being Hokage.
“You fucked up Senpai,” Tenzou said, not even bothering to look up.
The sound that escaped his mouth was somewhere between a sob and laugh, shrill and helpless. He struggled to sit up, Tenzou dropped his aloof pretense and rushed to his side in a second. His fists clenched in his hair as he tried to breathe through both the physical pain and the anxiety that was welling up in his chest, making his heart beat faster and his lungs feel like they couldn’t fully inflate. Tenzou was grabbing his hands, trying to get them to loosen their death-grip on his scalp.
“Try to match my breathing Senpai - in and out, In and out...just like that,” Tenzou spoke softly, extracting one of Kakashi’s hands to lay on his heart so he could feel the slower rhythm and work to equalize. After what felt like forever Kakashi felt calmer (not better, no he still felt like utter garbage, physically and emotionally and he definitely didn’t deserve friends like Tenzou.)
“What happened?” he croaked, staring at Tenzou’s soft expression.
“Which part? Do you want details on the attempted kidnapping and subsequent escape or what happened when your boyfriend of two months found out that he was actually dating the Copy-nin and not the jonin-turned-photographer Sukea?”
“Surprise me.”
“Well one of those things will have a full report on your desk in the morning...the other I have less details on but I’ll tell you what I know. At approximately 0200 you were admitted to the hospital by one Iruka Umino and told that you had a puncture wound to the lower abdominal and were drugged with some unknown substance that appeared to limit motor functionality as well as cause bouts of unconsciousness. You were then taken to surgery and you’ll be happy to know that you’ll be making a full recovery.”
“That’s it? Have you seen him?” Kakashi’s hand that was resting on Tenzou’s heart was now grasping his flak jacket, turning his knuckles white. Tenzou gently rested his hands on Kakashi’s clenched fist, his eyes (always so large and expressive) looked sad.
“No, I haven’t seen him and he hasn’t been to visit. You hurt him, Kakashi, and you will need to talk to him to make this right. I can’t say whether it will ever be alright, but you need to apologize for lying.”
Hours later and Kakashi was still lying in his bed at the hospital much to the extremely active gossip vine of the medi-nins. It just didn’t really seem to matter where he was right now and the hospital would be safer (and apparently Iruka-free his traitor heart supplied sadly) than anywhere else to have his final mental collapse. As his thoughts started to spiral, he heard a tap tap tap at the window. His eyes moved of their own accord, still wired to look for threats even in the safety of the village
Sitting outside the window, right leg stuck out in front of him like a hitchhiker’s thumb, was Gai; grinning at him through the glass. Eyes wide he scrambled up and over to the window, opening it to the blinding flash of Gai’s 32 individual teeth.
“Gai, what the hell are you doing here? And why the fuck are you coming in through the window?!” Kakashi choked out as Gai did a handstand into the room and walked on his hands to the side of the bed, flipping into a seated position.
“Rival, you need to leave the hospital, it’s doing bad things to your brain,” Gai said sagely, fixing Kakashi with a piercing gaze. The volume that he spoke in was low and soft and a tone that he seemed to reserve for Kakashi (though he suspected that Lee, Tenten, and Neji had all been on the receiving end at one point or another). Kakashi slumped against the window, head back.
“I screwed up Gai, just leave me here to rot."
“You’re being dramatic and I would never leave you anywhere to rot, least of all a place I know you hate so much. Come on, we’re leaving,” Gai hopped up on his left leg, swung over to Kakashi using the bed and the wall, pushing him gently out the window. Kakashi turned back to look at him, not trusting himself to speak, nodded once and dropped down to the sidewalk below. Gai grasped the window sill, and vaulted himself over, landed deftly on his good leg before plopping himself again into the wheelchair that he had parked directly below the window.
“Kakashi, push.”
“Gai, look I don’t - “
“KAKASHI, PUSH.”
There may have been a time when Gai couldn’t get Kakashi out of his own head but more often than not he knew exactly what he needed and forced him into action even when he didn’t want to or thought himself incapable. He grabbed the handles of the chair and just started to push, it didn’t matter where they were going, it didn’t matter that he was using the chair as much as Gai was (honestly more, Gai was in far better shape than he was right now, gut wounds were such a bitch). He was moving, they were moving, and that was something . Each step away from the hospital felt like a small weight being removed from his chest. Maybe Gai was right, maybe the hospital was bad for his brain…
“Now, tell me what happened. I just know that Yamato stopped by my training practice with Lee to tell me you were in the hospital. And that it would behoove me to stop by since you were still there. ” Gai emphasized the last words, turning around in his chair to level a pointed look at him.
Kakashi slumped against the back of the chair, head resting on the top of Gai’s as he whispered, “He found out Gai. He knows who Sukea is.”
“Excellent. Now you won’t have to do any more of this sneaking around and pretending to be someone else. You can be yourself.”
“What?!” Kakashi gasped. “No this is awful Gai! He knows that I’ve been lying to him for the entire time we’ve been together. He probably hates me now even more than he did before!” And there it was, the crux of the issue. The entire reason he had even started this whole disaster in the first place. Kakashi had been convinced, convinced, that Iruka either hated his guts or barely tolerated him (and then probably only because of Naruto). While Kakashi had gone from school-yard crush to completely hot-for-teacher to his current home of unrequited love for the pony-tailed chūnin.
After the war though, he had got up a little courage, donned his Sukea disguise and chatted Iruka up at (ironically) his own inauguration celebration. And would wonders never cease, he had gotten a coffee date for the following day. Coffee had led to dinner, which had led to movie nights and snuggling under the kotatsu, and that had recently led to the bedroom. Things had been going...perfectly.
“Kakashi, I can hear you over-thinking things from here. Stop. Also, you know what you want in your heart even if your brain is telling you no. Look up.” Kakashi stopped pushing and groaned at what he saw when he glanced at where Gai was pointing. He had walked them directly to Iruka’s apartment building . What had he even been thinking?! Iruka his horrible-no-good brain supplied.
“Go, talk to him. He’ll likely take pity on you in your weakened condition. Plus then you’ll know that it’s true love because you look like absolute crap.” Gai clasped his shoulder, giving him yet another firm push, pointing him in the direction of the stairs leading to Iruka’s apartment.
He could do this, he was the Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, he had faced Madara fuckin’ Uchiha, he had faced down a gaddamn god, he could knock on a door. He could talk to a chūnin teacher about his feelings. He could...he couldn’t do this, there was no way in hell, he needed -
“Fuck no Senpai” came a voice by his ear as an Anbu dropped from the roof and rapped smartly on Iruka’s door. Kakashi made a noise like a strangled cat as he stared at Tenzou who at least had the decency to shunshin away.
The door opened to Iruka’s red-puffy eyes and furious expression. “You. Asshole.” he seethed, grabbing Kakashi by the front of his shirt and pulling him into the apartment. This was positive right? He was inside? Iruka didn’t slam the door in front of his face? Unless he just wanted to be able to murder him in the privacy of his own apartment...he doubted there would be a jury in Konoha that would convict him of what theoretically was treason. Iruka was too likeable, that’s what got them into this problem in the first place, right? No, you lied to him, that’s why we’re in this problem in the first place. Kakashi decided it was high time for a brain transplant.
“Iruka, look I -”
“No, you look dickweed, you pretended to be someone you weren’t for months , MONTHS Kakashi! Do you have any idea what that feels like, to know that the person you lov- the person you’re dating ISN’T THE PERSON YOU’RE DATING BUT SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE?! Do you have any idea how long it took me to get over my feelings for you to actually you know, DATE? Of course you don’t, because that would require you to give a shit ABOUT MY FEELINGS WHICH YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T!”
Now, Kakashi liked to think he could see ‘underneath the underneath’ which is why hearing the words “my feelings for you” should not have come as the shock that it did. But it kind of took him by the neck and shook him like a ragdoll.
“You have feelings for me?”
“Wha-No! Yes, I mean, FUCK YOU KAKASHI THAT’S WHAT YOU TOOK OUT OF THAT?!”
“Do you want to talk to me or should I leave?”
Iruka stared at him, clearly unsure what he wanted. It was clear that he had been crying, that he was pissed , like beyond pissed and on the verge of righteous fury. But he also confessed to liking Kakashi , not just Sukea. And had he also almost said ‘love’? Kakashi looked at Iruka, trying to keep his posture loose and open. Iruka sighed heavily, gestured to the couch while he went in to make tea. He always made tea when he was stressed.
Kakashi bent down to take his shoes off when he noticed...he didn’t have any. He had jumped out of the hospital window wearing only his undershirt and regulation pants. His feet were dirty from walking through the streets pushing Gai’s wheelchair. He was overcome with just the true ridiculousness of the situation, collapsing heavily on the edge of the genkan, head between his knees, he started to laugh or cry he really wasn’t sure which.
He heard Iruka set something down with a clatter and a choked-off swear as he rushed over.
“Kakashi, are you okay? If you pulled your stitches out and are preparing to bleed out in my genkan I may never forgive you - NOT THAT I’M SAYING I FORGIVE YOU JUST...DO NOT DIE HERE. PLEASE.” Iruka’s volume started rising again as he checked Kakashi for blood, bleeding, hemorrhaging, and just generally liquids coming from places they shouldn’t.
“I...forgot...my...shoes,” he hiccuped into Iruka’s shoulder, feeling tears streaming down his face (he still wasn’t sure if they were tears of laughter or just regular tears).
“You what ?”
Gasping, trying to get his breathing back under control, Kakashi lifted his head and looked Iruka in the eye, “I forgot...my shoes. I left in a hurry.”
He could see the moment that Iruka actually started to put the pieces together as he took in his appearance. No uniform shirt, flak jacket, hitai-ate, leg bindings, or weapons , dirty feet, sunken eyes, and the tell-tale bulge of bandages beneath his skin-tight undershirt. “Kakashi...were you or were you not discharged?”
“Gai discharged me. We left out the window.”
“GAI DOES NOT HAVE THE AUTHOR- YOU LEFT OUT THE WIND- ARE YOU BOTH ABSOLUTE IDIO-NO NEVERMIND I ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER!” Iruka started and stopped, rage picking up again as he stood up, walked to the bathroom, came back with a wet washcloth and started washing Kakashi’s feet all while screaming at him about what a total dumbass he was.
Kakashi reached to grab Iruka’s hands, trying to stop him only for Iruka to swat them away brusquely, “You’re hurt, I can do this so kindly fuck-off.”
When Iruka deemed him clean enough to enter the rest of the house, he helped him to his feet and plopped him unceremoniously on the couch. He then went back into the kitchen to fetch the tea that had at this point likely steeped too long and would be too bitter (for Iruka, Kakashi liked it that way). Tea was set in front of him and Iruka sat across from him.
“Go ahead and take your mask off, it’s not like I haven’t seen your face before unless that was a lie too.” Kakashi winced at the bitterness in Iruka’s words, slowly lowering his mask, feeling more naked than if he just shed all his clothes.
He heard Iruka’s slow intake of breath, followed by a choked sob. Looking up quickly he saw him clutching a hand over his mouth while tears slowly escaped and made tracks down his face. Setting the tea cup down, he started toward Iruka.
“No, just...stop. Whatever cruel prank you’re playing, just please stop. It’s like looking at a fun house mirror, you’re him but...not mine.” Kakashi froze, eyes locked on Iruka's as they continued to fill with tears.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what exactly? Sorry I figured it out before whatever end game you had cooked up? Sorry you couldn’t invite the village to watch the stupid chūnin sensei make a fool of himself?” Iruka laughed hysterically.
“I’m sorry I lied. I’m sorry I didn’t come to you as myself. I never meant to hurt you but I did and I’m so truly, incredibly sorry.”
“Why didn’t you?” He sounded so small, it felt so wrong. Kakashi felt transported to a time when they were both fucked up kids, both lonely, both unable to accept help from others. He didn’t want that anymore...not for either of them. Sliding off the couch, Kakashi knelt next to Iruka.
“I didn’t think you liked me. I was scared because I liked you a lot and I didn’t want you to reject me. Also it was easier to be Sukea and not myself. I come with...baggage.”
Iruka looked up at him from wet lashes, and asked “How much of Sukea was an act? How much of it was...real?”
“I don’t have brown hair,” he answered honestly. “The rest was all me. I swear, Iruka, I really really really didn’t mean to hurt you and it wasn’t a prank.”
“When would you have told me the truth if I hadn’t figured it out?”
“Our wedding night? I probably would have given myself away earlier though; the ninken have been driving me crazy for the last two months.”
Iruka snorted wetly, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “I’m still incredibly mad at you.”
“I understand. I can leave, let you have some space. I probably have some things-” Kakashi couldn’t keep talking because suddenly his lips were otherwise occupied and his arms were full of chūnin.
Breaking the kiss, Iruka looked at him, eyes still red, tears still on his cheeks. “I said I was mad at you, not that I want you to leave. You were an asshole, there’s no doubt about that but I liked you for you long before I liked Sukea. Also you can’t show up here having escaped the hospital shoeless and expect me to turn you out on your ear. If you're truly serious, no more lies, then...okay. Let’s do this.”
His brain must truly be on its last legs. If he didn’t know that it was physically impossible, he would have imagined that he was probably smoking out the ears; internal processors finally overheated to inoperable slag. He knew he was staring like a slack-jawed idiot but he couldn’t help it. Even with his face puffy and irritated from crying, long hair obviously unbrushed and tangled, and wearing at least day old shinobi blacks he was the most beautiful thing Kakashi had ever seen.
But of course, his brain was the worst so the first thing he said was “Do what?”
Thankfully Iruka didn’t throw him bodily out of his apartment, instead he giggled cutely and grabbed Kakashi’s hands and pulled him toward the couch again. “Dating but for real this time. You, Kakashi Hatake, and I, Iruka Umino, will be boyfriends. You can keep making me breakfast and taking me out to dinner and I won’t ask Kotetsu and Izumo to help me hide the body of our Hokage. Long live the Nanadaime Naruto Uzumaki.”
Kakashi couldn’t help himself as he added, “Believe it.” Iruka laughed out loud at that and Kakashi felt like he would willingly go toe to toe with Kayuga again if he could spend the rest of his days hearing that laugh.
Iruka brought Kakashi down with him as he snuggled into the couch cushions, forcing him to lay on top of Iruka. Sighing quietly, Iruka brought his arms around Kakashi. “This feels surreal. I’m going to wake up and this will have just been a wild, fucked-up dream. You’ll be gone, Sukea will have never existed, and I’ll be alone.”
“Iruka,” Kakashi said softly. “I won’t let us be alone again. We deserve better than that and if you’ll have me, I’ll do everything I can to make you happy. You make me happy. I didn’t...I didn’t think I could feel like that anymore.”
“Stop talking or you’ll make me start crying again.”
“Never my intention, I promise.”
Feeling like he could truly be himself for the first time in far too long, Kakashi fell asleep.
