Chapter Text
24-year-old Kaitou KID stared at the 25-year-old blonde detective in front of him. Said blonde detective was staring at his arms, “Did the jewel just—”
“Yep,” KID cut off. “Normally, I would brag and tell you I told you so, Tantei-san, but what the heeee—” the look the detective was sending him was almost murderous. “Heck. I was going to say heck.” A blonde eyebrow rose. “What the heck are we supposed to do now? The jewel’s gone. That’s not my MO, Tantei-san and Meitantei ain’t going to believe—”
“Kudou-kun would, and you know it. It’s Nakamori-keibu we have to worry about.” KID ran both hands through his hair, groaning. Both turned as running and yelling sounded. “Go. I’ll…think of something.”
“We’re on a goddamn roof!” KID groaned and grabbed the blonde, pulling him close. “Hold it tight.”
“It’s not an—wait, Kaito, don’t!” the detective yelped as the thief jumped off the roof with him, and their surprise addition held close to his chest.
23-year-old Kudou Shinichi walked into a house without knocking, “Kuroba! Hakuba! What the fuck happened at the heiiii…st…” Shinichi was just staring at the kitchen table where Hakuba Saguru and Kuroba Kaito were sitting with—“Is that…a baby?”
“It was the jewel,” Kaito deadpanned.
“It was th—what?” Shinichi was gaping. After a few seconds, he shook his head. “I’m calling Haibara.”
“Thank you!” both men called.
“Could you ask her to grab bottles and formula?” Saguru asked. “I’m verily certain she’s a newborn.”
Shinichi nodded and left the kitchen. Saguru looked at his husband, “Why am I the only one holding her?”
“Because you were holding her when she appeared and have yet to let her go,” Kaito stated. “Also…I don’t know how to hold a newborn.”
The blonde sighed before shifting Kaito’s arms, so he was holding the newborn infant, “Just hold her head, okay?” Kaito nodded, staring dumbfounded at the baby. “I’m making tea,” he stood and walked to the stove.
About an hour later, 14-year-old Haibara Ai arrived with Kudou Ran. They were met with the wailings of a newborn. Shinichi walked over to his wife, “Please tell me you brought formula. She’s been crying since I hung up with you.” Ran held up bags before all but running into the kitchen.
Ai looked at Shinichi, “Explain again what happened?”
Shinichi massaged his right temple, “Kuroba and Hakuba say that the jewel Kuroba took turned into the baby,” Ai deadpanned. “I wasn’t there, I don’t know. I’m just telling you what they told me. Can you just…figure out what happened?”
“Of course, let me just pop into the time machine I have on hand.”
“You’re not funny.”
“Only you seem to think so,” Haibara walked into the kitchen.
“Your boyfriend doesn’t count!” Shinichi yelled, crossing his arms.
Saguru was feeding the infant while his husband was feeding him and himself. Ai had taken a blood sample from the infant, then she came back ten minutes later and plucked hairs from both Saguru and Kaito before she walked away again. Shinichi was on the phone with Heiji, as the Osakan detective seemed to have a sixth sense when shit went down in Tokyo.
Finally, just as the infant was being burped, Ai came into the room looking baffled at the papers in hand, “Everything alright?” Saguru asked.
“Yes…and no,” everyone just stared at the teenager. “She’s your daughter. Both of yours.”
“What?” Saguru and Kaito looked at the infant.
“What the hell do you mean it’s both of theirs?” Shinichi asked, ignoring Heiji’s shocked cry on the phone. “Last I checked, two males can’t have a baby with both DNAs.”
“And I’m telling you,” Ai waved the papers. “The infant is a perfect DNA match to both of them!”
“Give me those!” Kaito snatched the papers from the teenager. Both husbands looked at the documents. Kaito was flipping the papers, skimming wildly. “What the fuck?!”
“Honestly, the most shocking thing I’m finding is that the infant’s a girl,” Ai said calmly.
“How is that the most shocking thing?” Saguru groaned. “How does this happen?”
“Koizumi,” Kaito hissed, standing up. “I’ll have her goddamn head!”
“It wasn’t me,” Ran nearly took off the head of the suddenly appeared Akako. “Watch it.”
“How did you—” Shinichi spluttered.
“What do you mean it wasn’t you?” Kaito snapped. “Who else does this shit, Akako!”
“Do I look like I make babies, Kuroba-kun?” Akako raised an eyebrow.
“I wouldn’t put it past you,” everyone in the room felt the tenseness in the room. “Explain, Witch!”
Akako huffed, crossing her arms, “The jewel you stole was an old witch’s relic,” she moved and leaned against a wall. “Quite honestly, the only reason you were even able to touch it is because of your damn magician status,” Akako glared at him.
“Oh, boo-hoo,” Kaito glared back. “Skip your damn pettiness, Akako. Why do Saguru and I suddenly have a daughter?”
Akako shrugged and pushed herself off the wall, “One of you must’ve really wanted a child with the other.”
“We’ve discussed that already. I know Aoko told you—”
“Not adoption, Kuroba-kun,” a pin could’ve dropped. “The relic grants one wish of someone it deems worthy. So, congrats. Centuries of witches and commoners alike lost possibly everything they ever wanted…so you two could have a bouncing brat,” several mouths dropped. “Good luck with parenthood,” Akako laughed as she vanished in smoke.
“God, I hate her!” Kaito threw his hands in the air.
Saguru sat in their bed with…his daughter in his lap. Fingers ran through the blonde fuzz on the infant’s head. Kaito came out of the shower and moved beside his husband, “I have her. Go shower,” Saguru hummed, and the two switched positions.
As Saguru disappeared into the bathroom, the infant’s eyes opened, revealing bright blue eyes. Kaito rubbed the little fingers, making them wrap around his finger. She yawned big and began squirming. Kaito picked her up carefully, leaning against the headboard. She curled into Kaito’s chest, falling back asleep.
When Saguru came out of the bathroom, he sat with Kaito, kissing him quickly. He creased the cheek of their daughter, “What time is your show tomorrow?” the blonde asked.
“Seven. So, I’ll need to start preparing around five. When do you get off tomorrow?”
“Six,” the two looked at each other, “Aoko?” the blonde asked.
“I guess. I’ll invite her over for lunch and explain about the magic jewel. She knows of real magic, just not….” Kaito pressed his lips together.
“Kaito,” Saguru pulled his husband’s face to look at him. “You’re not a bad criminal. Not even a criminal. These people are just very good at hiding in the shadows. You bring them out. It may have taken almost seven years, but even Nakamori-keibu knows of their presence during certain heists. He’s just smart enough not to bring it out into the open.”
Kaito leaned into the blonde, “I love you,” he whispered.
Saguru kissed the top of Kaito’s head, “I love you, too,” both looked at the sleeping infant. “I’m sorry I just suddenly threw us into this.”
“It wasn’t just you,” Kaito whispered before kissing Saguru. “I’ll stay up with her. You get some sleep. Aoko will let me nap once she’s read into the situation. You have work tomorrow.”
Saguru hummed, “I don’t know how we’re going to explain this to our parents. We also need to give her a name.”
“My parents, we’ll tell the truth,” Kaito said, “Your parents won’t believe the actual story, but they will believe science. You’ve discovered shady work going on in your late uncle’s lab,” Saguru looked at his husband. “It’s why you have Ai-chan going there every so often. She knows what shady business looks like. Telling your parents that our daughter was a…for lack of a better term, mistake of one of those experiments will get your father involved in the lab. Bring those dealings to a halt. Two birds, one stone.”
Saguru hummed, “It should work. But we still need a name. And figure out which last name she’s taking. We were planning on adopting older children and letting them keep their names.”
“Well, we could go with the obvious name. Takara.”
“We are not naming our child jewel, Kaito,” Saguru glared at his husband. “I’ve always been fond of Keiko.”
“They named a whale that. No.” Saguru snorted. “How about a compromise? Kazue.”
Saguru smiled and creased the sleeping infant’s cheek, “I like it. Your last name?”
“I don’t want her to be pressured. I followed in my father’s footsteps. I don’t want her thinking she has to do the same.”
“Well, my family isn’t exactly a clean slate, Kaito,” Saguru shook his head. “I think we can agree that we aren’t going to pressure her. It doesn’t matter whose last name she takes. She’ll have her own interests. Will she have interests in magic and mysteries? Probably. Will that be what she decides to do with her life? Only time will tell.”
Kaito sighed, “Alright. Yours then. Your family is more connected,” Saguru opened his mouth. “No. She’s taking yours. I’m not letting this one go, Saguru.”
Saguru sighed and kissed Kaito’s cheek, “Alright. Hakuba Kazue.” Kaito nodded, “We’ll give it a few days before telling the story to my parents. That’s a reasonable timeframe in finding an infant in the lab and getting a DNA test done.”
“Sounds good. I’ll tell Aoko first, and then she can tell my parents.”
Saguru sighed, “You know I’m on your side with what happened, Kaito. They had no right to do what they did, but all I’m going to say is that holding grudges like this will only hurt Kazue.” Kaito closed his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. Saguru kissed his cheek. “Just think about it. I love you.”
“Love you,” Kaito kissed his husband. “Get some sleep. I have her.”