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although he’s used to the cooler weather back in toronto, the warmer weather here in jejudo is much more comforting. the oddly satisfying burn on his skin from the sun leaves jacob daydreaming about what led him to this very spot in the open field.
“we want you to get a taste of the real world,” his parents came to him one afternoon, “your grandparents haven’t seen you in years and could use a hand on their farm.”
jacob has always been one to never know what is next in life for him. recently graduated from college with a degree he doesn’t even care about, that he also switched six times since he started five years ago, his parents force him to make a decision for once. despite working at the coffee shop down the street, that isn’t enough right now.
so this is how he ended up in jejudo, halfway across the world, trying to make a decision once and for all about what he wants in life.
the only consistent thing that has been in his life was playing basketball. ever since he was in middle school, jacob has always been on some sort of basketball team. every now and then he would pick up a different hobby, and then drop it for a different one in a week. over the years this has left jacobs’ parents nothing but frustrated with his lack of focus. what’s so wrong with having different hobbies? he would ask his parents and they would only shake their head in response.
today, his grandparents are off at a market a few towns away. this means jacob is able to lounge around and not have to worry about a backache from picking too many vegetables. on days like these, jacob tends to grab a random book from the shelf in the living room and find a random spot in the field to sunbathe. though, there have been times where his grandparents come back earlier than expected and scream upon seeing their grandson fast asleep in the fields. kind of like right now, but with someone jacob has never met before.
a hand is firmly planted on his shoulder, shaking him as rough as possible.
“hey! are you okay? do you need me to take you to the clinic?” the man hovering above him questioned.
jacob opened his eyes and squinted from the sudden brightness of the mid-day sun. “huh?”
“i asked if you’re okay? did you collapse from heat exhaustion? i should get you something to drink…” the last sentence was mumbled as the man began to look for a source of drinking water.
“oh… i’m okay, i was just reading in the sun and fell asleep.” jacob reached over and grabbed the book he was reading, now covered in dirt.
the man stares at him.
“you were reading out here? purposely ?”
jacob nods. “my grandparents live here, i’m jacob.”
“you’re aunties grandson? wow she’s always talked so much about her amazing and talented grandson in canada but i just thought she was trying to brag to the other aunties.” the man chuckles at, “i’m jaehyun, by the way, i live right up the road.”
right up the road? how have i never seen you until now then…
the two go inside to get a glass of water, because as much as the sun was warming jacobs’ bones, he didn’t want to become dehydrated. at the table, they sit and converse while waiting for jacob’s grandparents to come back.
when keys begin to jingle outside the front door, jaehyun excuses himself to the bathroom, directions provided by jacob. when he sees his grandparents enter, they have a light expression painted on their faces. though, upon walking into the kitchen and seeing two glasses of water on the table, their expressions look puzzled.
“did you have company over cobi?” his grandmother asks, placing bags down on the counter.
“i didn’t intend to, but jaehyun found me while i was sunbathing in the fields.”
their faces go pale. jacob doesn’t understand.
“did you say jaehyun?” his grandfathers’ back is facing him
he gulps. “yes? he said he lives right up the road, but i was surprised i never saw him until now.”
the tension in the air is thick enough to get stuck in, but why?
“cobi, that’s impossible,” his grandmother chuckles lightly, “jaehyun passed away last year.”
———————————
jacob found it hard to believe that the man who woke him up last week was a ghost . maybe not a ghost, but a spirit, or whatever else they call them. he had talked to him though, how was this possible?
his grandparents had explained that jaehyun went missing last summer during a terrible typhoon. he had been ringing in the cattle a little too late, and was never seen again, not even after all the damage was cleaned up.
this had haunted jacob for the rest of the day, and for the rest of the week as well.
so when jaehyun had shown up again, you can imagine how jacob reacted.
it was the middle of the night, when he heard stones being thrown at his bedroom window. cautiously, he pulled back the curtain and saw a man standing in the backyard, a pile of pebbles in his hand. the man looked just like jaehyun, but there was no way, right?
but apparently there is a way.
jacob was standing on the back porch, jaw dropped. but how?
“sorry i disappeared the other day, i’m not on too good of terms with your grandparents…”
would it be because you’re dead? jacob thought to himself
“jaehyun, it’s the middle of the night, what could you possibly want?”
“i wanted to apologize for leaving so suddenly, it was very rude of me.” he bagan, “and also i wanted to make up for it. can i take you somewhere in the morning?”
jacob pondered for a moment, his grandparents already harvested everything that had grown so they wouldn’t need him for much. “sure, pick me up at nine. i’ll be waiting by the front gate.”
the door behind him began to creek, and out peered his grandmother.
“who are you talking to cobi?”
when jacob turned back around, jaehyun had vanished.
“oh, no one, i thought i heard something rummaging in the garbage.”
they went back inside and back to bed, not another question asked. however, jacob had laid still in bed, pondering what a spirit could want with him, and why he vanishes around everyone else. so he pulls out his phone and googles it.
why can i see someone’s spirit all of a sudden? he types into the search bar.
in an instant, thousands of search results popped up. hardly any of them shared a description for his situation; his very strange situation. though, after he scrolled for a bit more, a hyperlink popped up with the question: “Why is a lingering spirit bothering me?” and then in the description below it read, “ How to deal with a lingering spirit pestering you.”
jacob clicked on the link and is brought to an article with different subheadings suggesting why the spirit might be lingering in purgatory instead of peacefully passing onto the other realm where it belongs.
The spirit has unresolved business. well, didn’t jaehyun say he wasn’t on good terms with his grandparents?
he keeps reading.
You caused the spirit’s initial death, now they want revenge. not possible, i’ve never met jaehyun when he was alive.
The spirits’ body was never found, and is stuck searching for it. jackpot.
jacob read through the description below that heading and is fascinated by what the author has to say. who knew people were able to learn about spirits and even communicate with them. it turns out, that if someone passes away, but their body is never found, like in jaehyun’s case, it can cause the spirit to feel lost as well. this was something that jacob has never even heard of before, but the more he read about it, the more heartbroken he felt for these spirits. some can go years before finally being able to pass over, and some may never get to pass over. when jacob finished reading a fourth article about this phenomenon, he realized it’s well past two in the morning and he should at least get some sleep before meeting up with jaehyun. though, as soon as he shut his eyes, dreams took over of him reuniting jaehyun with his body and getting to see his family have the closure they’ve been craving for almost a year now.
in the morning, jacob’s grandparents are startled to see him up so early despite not having to do any work today.
“i’m meeting up with someone i met at the market last week.” jacob announced upon their curious glances when he said he’s going out today.
at nine sharp, jacob began to walk towards the front gate, not sure what to expect today. jaehyun said he wants to take him somewhere, but didn’t elaborate any further. he wore casual clothes, not expecting the other to be taking him anywhere fancy, because after all, jaehyun was dead .
when he reached the gate, jaehyun was already standing there. go figure , jacob thought to himself.
“i’m not sure how to greet you, what year were you born?” the man asked.
“i was born in ‘97.”
“oh, me too! we’re the same age then, how cool!”
jaehyun had a certain demeanor to him that jacob wished he could actually get to know. he stood at the same height as jacob, with a similar build as well, but definitely more definition in his arms. his clothing was always the same when he sees him, jacob wondered if those were the clothes he wore when he died. jaehyun’s hair was a light brown color, almost like jacob’s, but with a hint of auburn.
“so where are you taking me?” jacob wondered.
“it’s a surprise.” he only smiled, beginning to walk up the road.
the sun was nowhere as brutal that day, unlike other summery days. still, jacob wore jean shorts and a plain graphic tee he brought with him from canada.
although he loved everything about jejudo, where his grandparents live is nothing but rural. this meaning that none of the roads are paved, so walking for even five minutes leaves you with dirt in your eyes and on your clothes. miraculously, jaehyun has no traces of dirt on him at all, except for dirt underneath the tips of his fingernails. strange .
“you said you weren’t on good terms with my grandparents,” jacob stirred the silence, “did anything happen?”
jaehyun looked down towards the ground. “i tried to court their grandson, either your brother or cousin, and they refused, saying it was unnatural for a man like me to court another man.”
oh, i never knew they were like that.
jacob frowned to himself. “i’m sorry jaehyun, i never knew they could be that harsh.”
it’s in all honesty as well. jacob hadn’t grown up with them in his life at all, except for his occasional visits to their farm, and knowing this now broke his heart. mainly because he knows now they wouldn’t accept him either. he’s not sure which grandson jaehyun spoke about, as he never heard this from anyone else. maybe he’ll ask his parents when he eventually returns home.
“it’s okay, it’s not like you have anything to do with it.” he had smiled so widely like he was never upset in the first place.
they walk in silence for about another kilometer until they are at someone else’s front gate. jacob looks around for a sign, maybe saying their surname, but nothing, just a mailbox with the address number on it.
“jaehyun where are-“ jacob asked, but jaehyun vanished once again.
“hey! who are you?” a voice shouted from up the driveway.
jacob turned see the source of the voice and found a woman who could be no older than his own mother. “oh, i’m jacob bae, my grandparents live down the road.”
“grandson? i thought he lived in canada.” the woman questioned, hands on her hips.
“yeah, that’s me. i’m staying with them for the summer, or possibly longer, not too sure exactly.”
the woman walked down the driveway, meeting jacob at the other end. she had bobbed dark brown hair that curled outwards. her outfit resembled typical farming clothes, old shirts and pants you don’t care if they end up covered in dirt. her features looked familiar but jacob couldn’t place why. the closer she came, the quicker he put the pieces together.
“well, jacob bae , i’m lee jooseon, and this is my property, so why don’t you tell me what you’re doing here.” the woman, jooseon , demanded.
lee jooseon… oh my god, it’s jaehyun’s mother .
“i-i uh was just going for a walk and found myself here, i, uh, didn’t think someone would live up here.” jacob stuttered out, not wanting to cause any trouble.
jacob genuinely had no clue where jaehyun had led him to. they took a series of shortcuts through various fields and even jumped a few fences to reach here. there’s no way jacob would’ve found this place on accident , and even jooseon knew that as well.
she squints at him like he’s lying, but considering that jacob always had an innocent expression, she chose to believe him. she turned around and motioned with her hand for jacob to follow her back up the driveway.
“you said your the bae’s grandson? come in and get a drink then, i know they live a few kilometers away. you must be parched out in this heat. her demeanor had changed entirely, enough to even invite jacob into her own home.
jacob stayed quiet and followed jooseon up the driveway and into the living room of her home. inside, the walls were hardly decorated, but the mantle of the fireplace had multiple frames places, holding various photographs of what appeared to be her family. up until this point, jacob had no actual confirmation if this was indeed jaehyun’s mother , but when he eyed one frame with a boy who looked exactly like the ghost, he received his confirmation. his bones shivered as he looked around more and noticed a corner of the room decorated as a memorial for the man who mysteriously disappeared. jacob stood and admired it, astonished at the many cards surrounding the table and frame.
“here you go,” jaehyun’s mother handed him a glass of ice cold water. jacob gulped it down in seconds. he thanked her and handed the glass back.
“is this your son? he’s very handsome.” jacob asked, testing the waters.
“yes, that’s my son. and he really was, wasn’t he?”
“ was?” he questioned, but he already knew.
jooseon sat down on the couch and motioned again for jacob to sit on the chair perpendicular to her. she sighed and held her face in her hands.
“we had a bad typhoon at the end of last summer.” she began, voice already showing weakness, “my son, jaehyun, went to gather the cattle we have back into their barn because seonmul had been too frightened by the winds. it hadn’t started storming yet, but when more than a half hour passed by and jaehyun hadn’t returned, his father went looking for him. he wasn’t anywhere to be found. within a mere hour, rain started pouring down, so my husband came back, but with no jaehyun.”
“eventually the storm ended, but there was so much debris; trees, fencing, crops, you name it. it took almost a week to clean up just our property and even our neighbors. there still hadn’t been a sign of jaehyunie. i went around to every surrounding farmhouse and asked if they had seen him, but nothing.” jooseon’s eyes appeared glassy. “it’ll be a year next month, but i still feel like he’s out there. my jaehyun could practically lift a cow, there’s no way a storm could take his life.”
hearing the story had torn jacob’s heart in two. hearing from his grandparents was one thing, but hearing it from jaehyun’s actual mother was something entirely different. jacob wishes that she could tell her that jaehyun is still here, but from seeing how worked up she is, she wouldn’t believe a word of it. and honestly, who would?
“i’m very sorry for your loss, mrs. lee.” jacob offered his condolences, and she smiled. “i’m sure jaehyun was a very great person, i wish i could have met him while i’m here.”
“thank you, jacob. i think you two would have gotten along great.”
jooseon invited jacob to stay for lunch while he was there, because who would she be to let him turn away without feeding him first after walking all this way. of course, jacob couldn’t turn it down, so he gladly enjoyed the meal provided by her husband. he got to know them and hear even more stories about jaehyun. for instance, the time his older sister forced him to play dressup and decorated him with various clothing pieces, and even makeup. with every story he heard about jaehyun, it pained him to know that he’ll never get to befriend the real jaehyun, just his spirit that is wandering around mysteriously. jacob still wonders why jaehyun chose him of all people, though.
after departing with some leftovers for his grandparents, and a message to them from the lee’s, jacob sighed to himself at the sudden loneliness. it wasn’t too far down the road that jaehyun appeared right beside him, startling him entirely.
“oh did they give you some for your grandparents? they’ve always been nice like that.” jaehyun smiled, pointing at the bag in jacob’s hand. “sorry for leaving again, by the way, i had to feed the cows real quick before i got scolded.”
jacob listened to what jaehyun had to say and wondered if he was aware he was dead, or if he thinks he’s still alive and can just appear and disappear randomly. either way, the company provided by him left jacob less worried about how to get back to his grandparents, because in all honesty he did not pay attention to how he got there in the first place.
“jacob, you’re really kind, and i’m very glad i found you the other week, even if i thought you needed medical attention and was actually scared shitless.”
“i’m very glad you found me too, jaehyun. your company is very good to be around.” jacob smiled and continued walking down the path, but jaehyun stopped behind him.
“do you want to go on a date with me?”
jacob halted his footsteps.
“a date? but jaehyun, you’re-“ dead , he almost blurted out. “i would love to, but what if my grandparents…”
as if he suddenly remembered who jacob is related to, jaehyun frowned. an oh, that’s right expression appearing afterwards.
“well, then we can just hang out comfortably and casually .”
as weird as that would sound to anyone else, it was normal at this point to jacob. so he agreed to continue hanging out with jaehyun comfortably and casually, even if it seemed suspicious to his grandparents.
———————————
for the next few weeks, jaehyun had randomly shown up to where jacob lived, and invited him to yet another spot he had visited while he was alive. in their time together, jacob had seen where he used to go when he needed a break from everything and everyone, where he went to get cattle for his family after they impulse bought another cow, and so on. although this little corner of jeju was very small, there was lots to do and see. jacob’s favorite spot that jaehyun took him to was the river a kilometer away from the school he went to. jaehyun mentioned that he had his first kiss there so it would always be special, and it was also the spot where he realized that he likes boys and not girls. jaehyun had shared lots about his life to jacob, stories that he knew his parents would never have known if he were still here.
spending time with a ghost is not something jacob had ever thought he would deal with while being abroad, but it’s something that he wouldn’t trade for anything else. it had brought some perspective into his life. jacob had just started his senior year of college when jaehyun passed. although they were born the same year, they had lived very different lives. jacob grew up comfortably where he got to see differences in people and expand his knowledge, but jaehyun grew up in a small town where not much is known except the basics, and differences are frowned upon. on the nights jacob came home from galavanting with jaehyun, he pondered how different his life would be if his parents never moved to canada and they stayed here, either on their grandparents farm, or somewhere else in the country.
the next time the two hang out, jaehyun asks jacob what he wants to do, and jacob honestly answers: read and sunbathe. it is one of his favorite past times there since he hardly knew anyone and didn’t have a car to travel to other parts of the island. so they did just that.
“i’m really going to miss you, jacob, when you leave.” jaehyun suddenly announced, putting his book down on the table between them.
jacob looked over and saw a genuine smile plastered on jaehyuns’ face.
“i’m gonna miss you too, jaehyun.”
he couldn’t guess whether or not if jaehyun’s spirit will wander and find someone else to spend time with, or if he’ll simply be even more lost without jacob. either way there were only two more weeks until jacob flew back home to canada, all the way across the world. if he could, he would have asked jaehyun for his phone number so they could keep in contact. though, that wouldn’t work out, would it?
later that night, while jacob has exasperated every attempt to fall asleep, he thinks about if jaehyun is bringing jacob with him everywhere in hopes that if his body is found, jacob is able to bring someone back to that spot. the thought of that mostly likely being the truth chills jacob to his core.
they next time they hung out was a few days later, and that time, jacob made sure to keep an eye out for anything that might’ve seen out of place.
———————————
when jacob woke up that morning, it had already felt extremely heavy. it was a year since the hurricane hit the small town and caused jaehyun to go missing. a week ago, jacob’s grandparents and him had been invited by the lee’s to a memorial for their late son. this wasn’t something jacob had planned to deal with that summer, so he didn’t have the proper apparel, but thankfully his grandfather had a spare suit he could don.
to add to the already gloomy day, the weather had been nothing but perfect; cloudy, threatening to rain at any second, and windy. it was almost like the universe knew what that day was about.
they piled into the barely running car and set off for the lee’s, a basket full of freshly picked produce in hand. unfortunately, that was the only thing they could bring since the car had troubled them for the past week, and all the markets are too far to walk to. they’re lucky the car decided to start at all that morning.
the amount of people already there when they arrived was astounding. jacob had no idea jaehyun was this loved, but he understood why. the past month and a half he spent with jaehyun’s ghost proved it all too well. there were only a few cars, but tens of people stood on the front lawn, placing bouquets of flowers in various spots. and when they went inside to greet the lee’s, and share their condolences, even more people had gathered indoors. the small shrine that was in the corner had now been enlarged and placed in the middle of the living room, stealing all of the attention from every other decoration. jaehyun would have wanted nothing more, jacob thought to himself as he admired the other framed pictures of the man surrounding the blown up one of him.
“oh jacob, i didn’t expect you to come.” jaehyun’s father greeted him, a sorrowful expression underneath his gentle smile.
“i felt like i had to, you know? i never knew him but it only felt right, i don’t think i would’ve felt whole if i stayed home.”
mr . lee understood completely and went on his way to greet jacob’s grandparents next, gladly accepting the fresh produce from them.
everyone in the room all shared something in common, they had a million stories and memories of jaehyun, but jacob didn’t. the only jaehyun he knew was the one who was already gone, the one he’ll never get to make actually memories with. his eyes started to sting with tears, and he couldn’t understand why. could it have been because the jaehyun he knows doesn’t even know that he’s dead? that the jaehyun he knows won’t remember him once his body is found, if it ever is? that the jaehyun he knows is most likely suffering still being on earth instead of where he belongs?
the thoughts are too much for him to bare when he felt the first tear fall from his eye and down his cheek. he told his grandparents he’ll be outside for a moment, and excused himself. it was less stuffy outside, obviously, but a fog began to roll over the town, matching the atmosphere for the day even more. jacob walked around towards the back of the house and leaned against a fence, staring at the various farm animals wandering around the yard.
“everyone looks so sad today, i don’t get it.” a voice startled him out of his mental fog. it was jaehyun.
“oh, jaehyun, hi.”
“even you look sad! did i miss something? seonmul didn’t pass, did she?” he genuinely looked concerned that his three year old dog had passed. jacob only shook his head no, wiping his tears.
was there any rules to this whole thing? was jacob not allowed to let it slip that jaehyun is dead? would that ruin the whole thing? he had no idea, but at this point he felt bad for the ghost.
jaehyun started to walk away from the fence and turned around like he expected jacob to follow, which he did. they walk through the yard, disregarding all of the animals and head straight for the very back. the animals walk up to jacob, but not towards jaehyun. he hoped this didn’t look weird to anyone who happened to be staring out the kitchen window. either way, he continued to follow like a lost puppy.
“i wanted to show you one last spot, i just found it, but i wanted you to see it.”
a new spot? jacob’s heart sank.
a few meters away from the end of the yard is a secluded wooded area. at night, it would definitely give jacob the creeps, but right then it seemed so soothing and calm.
“you know, jacob, i know you’re going back to canada, but i don’t want to leave either.” jaehyun came to a dead stop at the edge of a small hilltop, too small to be a cliff, but tall enough to cause damage if you slid down it.
“jaehyun, what are you talking about?”
“i finally found me. it felt like forever, but i found myself. and now i don’t want to leave because i’m going to miss you too badly.”
jacob began to actually cry this time. he hadn’t peered over the edge yet, but he knew what laid just meters below his feet.
“jaehyun, you’re already dead, you won’t remember me, you won’t remember anyone.” jacob cried out. is there a possibility jaehyun could remember him?
“i know,” jaehyun was void of emotions this time, “thank you for being the one who found me, though. i’ll forever be in debt to you, jacob bae from toronto, canada.
the silence is deafening. jacob knows that as soon as he peers over the edge, the jaehyun he knew will be gone forever, and maybe he doesn’t want him to leave either. some time between sobs, his knees gave out and he collapsed, the suit his grandfather leant him, ruined. he still felt jaehyun beside him, waiting for jacob to just look over the damn edge. jacob looked up through his tear stained vision and saw a jaehyun smiling back at him.
“i never knew the real you, lee jaehyun, but i’m thankful you chose me to let you find you, and i’ll never forget you. never .” jacob promised, crawling over to the edge of the hilltop, eyes closed.
when he opened his eyes, there he was. at the bottom of the hill, or cliff, whatever you want to call it, was lee jaehyun, dead . jacob let out an ungodly sob, alerting everyone of where he was, even the animals in the yard behind him. he couldn’t bare the sight. jaehyun’s body had slightly decomposed after a year, all the hair gone from his skull, and his skin peeling in layers, as white as snow. it had looked like animals gotten to him before anyone else and started to eat away. the clothes on his body matched the ones he saw on jaehyun’s ghost, but these were torn to shreds by the force of nature and any animal trying to get a bite of him for dinner. it burned his eyes to look, but he couldn’t look away either. each sobbed that ripped through his throat was louder and louder.
in mere minutes, a handful of people pulled jacob up from the ground, confused as to what the hell was going on. all the man could do was point and continue to sob. while his grandmother held him tightly, a man he had never seen before looked over the edge and down right where jaehyun laid, lifeless.
“it’s him. it’s jaehyun.” the man confirmed, and the people around him, silenced.
jacob had been rushed back inside, and dropped himself right into the arms of mr. and mrs. lee, apologizing over and over again, as if he was the reason jaehyun had died. they stared at him in bewilderment before he was pulled off and one of the people from outside told them the news. their faces broke instantly, mrs. lee collapsed to her knees as well, and mr. lee hiding his face in his hands. none of this was supposed to happen.
———————————
after the authorities from the next town over came and retrieved jaehyun’s body, the memorial had ended and everyone departed except for jacob and his grandparents.
“jacob, i can’t thank you enough for finding him. it’s harder to process now knowing that he’s actually gone , but it’s the closure that we needed.” mrs. lee held him tight in her arms and he reciprocated the action.
“it feels wrong that i found him, i didn’t even know him, but-“
“jacob, you found him for a reason, whatever it be, he wanted you to find him. maybe he thought it would be less painful if someone he didn’t know found him, rather than his own mother or father. these things happen for a reason.” she held his hands in hers and looked in his eyes with pure sincerity.
“can i tell you something? and you have to believe me.” jacob asked, desperately wanting to tell her everything he learned about jaehyun in the past month and a half.
so he told her. he didn’t tell her everything, like the fact that jaehyun discovered he liked boys after kissing one, but all the silly things jaehyun told him that never saw the light of day because he was too embarrassed to tell anyone. his mother sat and listened, laughing at the funny stories, and tearing up at the saddening ones. in the end of it, he told her that jaehyun thanked him for being able to let him go where he belongs, and if it were up to jacob, he would’ve kept him around longer.
mr. lee stood in the kitchen, obviously eavesdropping. he stepped out into the living room, seeming in a lighter mood from hearing the stories about his son he never knew, but still terribly upset. from the few times he’s met with them, mr. lee never showed much emotion, always had a stone-cold expression.
“did… did jaehyun ever say anything about me?” he cautiously asked, sitting down next to his wife on the sofa.
“he did.” jacob smiled. “he told me he was always trying so hard to make you proud. he wanted you to be able to trust him with the farm when you two got too old, so he constantly worked himself past the limit. one time too many, unfortunately.”
mr. lee just looked away from jacob, eyes glassing over. it was easy to tell he was struggling with suppressing his emotions today, but his wife pat him on the back to let him know it was okay.
“i, i never got to tell him how proud of him i was. i’ve always seen the hard work he did around here and was very grateful, he saved me from throwing out my back hundreds of times, definitely. i wish i could tell him, but-“ mr. lee choked out a sob, cutting off his sentence.
jacob could feel a hand on his shoulder, but when he turned to look, no one was there this time. he knew it was jaehyun, gone, but still lingering. holding back a sob, jacob reached forward and held mr. lee’s arm.
“I think he knows now.”
that one sentence sent all three of them into another sob fest, but for good reasoning this time.
jacob eventually exits the house, having promised the lee’s that he’ll visit before he leaves for canada next week and he’ll try to visit again in the future. they exchanged contacts so they could keep in touch over the years, which jacob was more than thankful for. even though he never knew the real jaehyun, he was more than glad to get to know the ghost jaehyun and be there for his parents, and even give them the closure they deserved.
his grandparents sat in the car waiting, not wanting to disturb the lee’s any further.
upon getting in the car, jacob asked the age old question, “did you guys not like jaehyun?”
“what on earth would make you ask that, jacob?” his grandfather scolded him.
“he told me he wasn’t on good terms with you guys, and said he wanted to date one of my cousins, but you wouldn’t allow it.” jacob explained, getting upset for jaehyun on his behalf.
“ he told you that?” his grandfather exclaimed, but his grandmother just glared at him from across the console, “it’s not that we didn’t allow it, we knew his parents wouldn’t. we didn’t want him getting in trouble. the lee’s are not as liberal as they seem to be. he was a good kid and i wasn’t going to let a boy ruin his life, not when he had a future ahead of him.”
so that was that. jacob trusted that they were telling the truth. he just hoped jaehyun had been listening one last time to gain his closure. his grandfather started the car and they prayed to make it back before the rain finally came pouring down.
thankfully, it started pouring as soon as they entered their home. this gave them the excuse of taking the rest of the day, letting mother nature take care of the farm just for that day. jacob apologized to his grandfather for dirtying the suit he lent him, but the older man just brushed it off, saying something about how he’s been meaning to get rid of it anyway.
after eating a small meal together, jacob announced he’ll be upstairs, mumbling something about getting a headstart on packing. he headed up to his room, and took out the wallet in his front pocket. inside of it was a polaroid of jaehyun, just a week before he passed away. jaehyun’s parents had begged him to keep it, as a thank you for finding him, and telling him the stories jaehyun never would’ve told them for the sake of his dignity. the polaroid barely looked aged, as if it must’ve been kept in a photo-album. in the picture, jaehyun is smiling as wide as possible, holding a dirty-looking seonmul in his arms. in the background of the photo are calves who are now fully grown, according to the lee’s description. jaehyun had helped nurse them when they were taken from their mother too early.
“oh, lee jaehyun, in another life i will get to know the real you.”
———————————
in the week leading up to jacob’s departure back to canada, he mourned lee jaehyun everyday and everynight. while he helped out with the crops, while he helped prepare dinner, while he attempted to fall asleep at night. jaehyun occupied every square centimeter of his brain. thoughts about how he was taken so young, how he deserved to live a full life. although, jacob has learned over his twenty-four years of life that not everything is fair in this world. maybe jaehyun had been cursed with being humble and selfless that it ended up killing him. who knows, had he been a complete and utter jerk, maybe he would still be here, but then that wouldn’t be jaehyun, would it?
the day before his flight, he followed up with his promise and visited the lee’s one last time. a new addition was in their yard, an orange tree planted in honor of jaehyun; his favorite fruit, something jacob didn’t know. it barely had a sprout sticking out of the ground, as they planted it straight from the seed, so jaehyun can regrow on this planet. it was perfect.
they ended up burying jaehyun in a cemetary only right down the road, so they stopped by there as well. there weren’t many graves on the site, but each and every one of them held a story. a story jacob wish he had time to hear, but his flight leaves in less than twenty-four hours, so maybe next time. the headstone for jaehyun is perfect. it’s nothing grand, but it is everything he would have wanted, according to his parents. jacob just has to take their word on that.
jacob woke up the next morning, unsure of how he felt. he’ll definitely miss south korea, more specifically, jejudo. and he’ll definitely miss his grandparents; the last time he saw them was the summer before he started highschool. who knows how long it’ll be before he sees them again. it was still early in the morning, about seven in the morning. this left them plenty of time to eat a fulfilling breakfast and shed some last minute tears before his flight leaves at four in the afternoon.
his grandparents wave him off after he gets checked in and then cannot go any further with him. jacob tears up again, saddened about leaving his grandparents after spending the whole summer with him. he is excited though to return home and finally move on with his life. he already contacted his parents and told him he knows what he wants to do now, and they were more than happy at that announcement. all jacob had to do was find a way to inform his parents he’ll have to go back to school for it.
before he knew it, he was boarding the flight taking him back home to toronto. thankfully he had an isle seat so his leg room was a bit more spacious than the other two on his left. this fourteen-hour flight was not going to be fun, but he had packed his switch in his carry-on and bough in-plane wifi, something he didn’t do on the first flight.
after dinner was served, he ended up nodding off and woke up when the time on his phone displayed midnight. that meant only seven hours had passed, and still had roughly seven more. ugh, guess i’ll see what movies they have to offer.
jacob managed to watch a movie and a half before nodding back off and woke up once more when the pilot came on the announcements to say they are now departing in toronto canada. getting off the plane was a nightmare since everyone was in a rush to be home already, but jacob waited patiently and took his time, not caring if others were groaning at his slowness behind him.
getting through customs was a breeze when the agents realized that jacob spoke fluent english and was not a threat to the nation, just simply trying to return home. he waited for his luggage and quickly hurried to the pick-up area, looking in every direction for his parents sedan. this took another ten minutes before he was finally reunited with his parents and basked in the comfort of their arms. after everything he had dealt with in jeju, he needed a very long hug from his parents. they helped load jacob’s luggage into the trunk of the car and finally headed home.
“so, anything exciting happen? other than figuring out what you want to do?” his mother asked, turned around entirely from the front passenger seat.
“well,” jacob started, “i met a man named lee jaehyun.”