Archive of Our Own ^beta

Prompts: Hey!!! Can you may Be write something, anything really, with romantic DLAMP? But slowburn! Also platonic moxiety because the romantic ship makes me uncomfortable? I adore your writing!!! 💛💛 - anon

Hi! Is it okay if I request a DLAMP fic but without moxiety? It makes me uncomfortable but there are barely any fics with the ship where they're platonic or queerplatonic? - anon

Patton gets a knock on his door just after dinner. He opens it to see Virgil standing in the hallway, tugging on the strings of his hoodie.

“Uh, hey, Pat.”

“Hey, kiddo,” Patton says, glancing behind him to check the hallway is empty, “you wanna come in?”

“Only if you’re not busy.”

“You know I’m never too busy for you.” He stands aside to let Virgil come in, watching as he hovers in the middle of the room for a moment. “You wanna sit down?”

Virgil immediately collapses to the floor.

“Whoa, hey, hey, kiddo, are you—“ Virgil looks up at him, completely fine if a little confused and the knot in Patton’s chest loosens immediately— “oh, thank goodness, you’re alright.”

“…yeah, Patton, I’m good, why?”

“You just—you sat down really fast and you didn’t sit on the bed or a chair.”

“Ah.” Virgil shifts a little on the floor. “Well, the floor’s comfortable.”

“Is it?”

“Have you not sat on your own floor? How little time do you spend in this room?”

“Floors are for walking on, kiddo, and they hold up the important stuff.”

“Mm.” Virgil looks up at him. “Do I count as part of that?”

“Of course you do.”

“Great.” Virgil tugs on Patton’s arm. “Get down here and join me.”

Patton sits, wrapping his arms around his knees as Virgil leans against his shoulder, letting out a sigh of his own. He giggles. “Better?”

“Mm.”

“Is this what you need,” he asks, softer now, “to just sit for a bit?”

Virgil rouses, shaking himself and sitting back up. “Nah. I, uh, actually had something to talk to you about.”

“Oh, okay. What’s going on, kiddo?”

Virgil fiddles with the tie to his hoodie. “Has Logan seemed…weirdly off to you lately?”

Patton frowns. They haven’t been filming as much recently. There’s fewer things for Thomas to do. They’ve actually been in a strange lull of downtime recently. So is there anything that could be pulling Logan’s focus or making him upset?

“I haven’t, I don’t think so,” he says after a moment, “why, have you?”

“I dunno, it’s just…” He frowns harder. “He does the thing with you too, right?”

“Logan does so many things.”

“No, the thing.”

“That doesn’t narrow it down much for me, kiddo.”

“The thing,” Virgil says insistently, “you know, where he talks about something he’s interested in for hours on end and he looks like he’s really excited about it and he’s—he’s—“

Patton rubs Virgil’s back encouragingly as he buries his head in his hands.

“Oh, that thing.”

“Yes,” comes the disgruntled mutter from the hoodie, “that thing.”

“Yeah, sometimes he’ll do that thing with me,” Patton says, trying to figure out where this is going, “but it’s not that often. I think he’s been busy.”

“With what? Thomas hasn’t been working on anything for ages.”

“He’s got his own projects too.”

“Yeah, I know.” Virgil lifts his head up enough to give him a glare. “Because he’s been finding me to talk about them with.”

Patton’s hand stills. “He what?”

“He does the thing, Patton,” Virgil says, looking at him properly now, “he’ll come and find me and do the thing and I don’t know why.”

“Does it bother you?”

Virgil groans and buries his head in his hands again. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Because I’m sure Logan would like to know if he’s doing something that’s upsetting you, kiddo.”

Another groan, before something inaudible is muttered.

“What’s that?”

“No,” Virgil says reluctantly, “it doesn’t bother me.”

“Oh.” Patton tilts his head. “Then what’s the problem?”

“He’s finding me,” he says again, “like, me personally. And he’s fine to talk for like, an hour.”

“Maybe he just likes hanging out with you.”

“He likes hanging out with Roman.” Virgil worries the edge of his hoodie. “He doesn’t do this with Roman.”

Patton sighs, leaning against him. “Have you tried asking him about it?”

Virgil looks at him like he'd grown another head.

“Okay, so that’s a ’no.’”

“That’s something I can’t say because you don’t like strong language.”

Patton giggles. “Point taken, point taken. Well, maybe just, I don’t know, keep an eye on it? If it starts to make you uncomfortable, I’m sure he’d be up for talking about it.”

“Uh-huh.” Virgil is quiet for a few seconds. “Thanks, Pop Star.”

“Sure, kiddo. You wanna sit for a few more minutes?”

“Mhm.”

Virgil yanks an earbud out of his ear. “Come in.”

Patton opens the door and Virgil opens his arm without looking up from his phone. Patton ducks under it and snuggles into his side, his cold nose in the crook of Virgil’s neck to make him yelp.

“Jesus, Pop Star, you just come out of the freezer or something?”

“Sorry.”

Virgil sighs, setting his phone away and leaning back against the wall. Patton follows him, his breath coming out a little warmer when Virgil reaches up to tangle a hand in his hair. “You having a bad day or you just need a hug?”

“I came to ask you about something, actually,” Patton says and Virgil takes a deep breath of his own.

“Shoot.”

“Is Roman…does Roman still take you into the Imagination?”

Virgil blinks. “Uh, it’s been a while, but yeah?”

Patton fiddles with the end of one of the hoodie sleeves. “Where does he take you?”

Virgil lets his he’d fall back against the wall and closes his eyes. “Uh…normally we’re going on some sort of adventure through the kingdom? I dunno, it’s…rock climbing and dodging shit—things and me thinking he’s a fucking idiot—sorry, freaking idiot when he’s jumping off of things.”

It says something that Patton doesn’t even react to the language. He just tugs on the hoodie some more. “Is that all he does with you?”

“I think he does different stuff with all of us, Pat. He just goes on long walks with Logan, he’s—I’m pretty sure he dances with Janus, and I don’t even wanna know what he does with Remus.”

A small huff of laughter. “I don’t think I do either.”

Virgil nudges Patton again. “So what’s up? Did he stop taking you or something? Do I need to go kick his ass?”

“No, no, don’t fight Roman.”

“If you say so.”

Patton’s quiet for a moment. Virgil takes the opportunity to do his own silent check-up. Patton’s head is still resting on his shoulder, his head is turned slightly into him. His nose is still cold, but his arms aren’t where they press against Virgil’s hoodie. His legs are tucked up underneath him and he’s still fiddling with the sleeve,

“Your glasses are gonna leave marks,” he says quietly, shifting a little so he can ease them off and onto the side table, “there, that’s better.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” He lets the silence hang for a little longer before he nudges Patton again. “What does he do with you, Pat?”

Patton takes a deep breath. “He…he just…he used to take me on adventures. Like, we’d ride horses or unicorns and go see the villagers and it would be really nice.”

That does sound like something Patton would really enjoy. He’s gotta hand it t Princey, he does know what he’s doing. “I’m sensing a ‘but,’ here.”

“But…he doesn’t take me to the village anymore.”

“No?”

“No, now we ride…we go see the rest of the kingdom.” Something different slips into Patton’s voice. “There are…mountains and waterfalls and there was the sunset one time that was so pretty it made my chest hurt, Virgil, it was—Virgil, it was so pretty.”

Virgil finds a smile coming to his face and is immensely glad Patton can’t see it and tease him about it. He rubs Patton’s shoulder and lets his head drop to rest against his. “I’m glad it was pretty, Pop Star.”

“Yeah…”

He taps his shoulder. “Is it that nothing else is ever gonna be that pretty again, is that what’s up?”

There’s a pause, then Patton mumbles something.

“What?”

“He is.”

“You gotta speak up, Pop Star.”

Patton sighs. “You’re right, maybe I’m just being silly.”

“You’re having feelings,” Virgil corrects gently, “not being silly. Talk to Princey about it, he’s a prick but he cares about you.”

“Mm.” Patton nuzzles into his shoulder. “Thanks, Virgil.”

“Sure. Just get your cold nose out of my neck.”

“Nope.”

“Patton! Pat—holy shit—“

“Language.”

“Don’t talk to me about language while you’re shoving an ice cube into my flesh—“

Patton opens the door just in time for Virgil to collapse onto his bed. He grabs a pillow and shoves his face into it and groans.

“Sweetheart?” Patton lays a hand gently between his shoulder blades, “are you alright?”

“No.”

Patton takes a deep breath, quickly finding the soft weighted blanket in his closet and getting a water bottle ready. “What’s the matter, sweetheart, how can I help?”

“Remus is trying to kill me.”

He quickly fortifies his room and sits on the bed next to Virgil’s prone body. “He can’t get in here, sweetheart, you’re safe, it’s gonna be okay.”

He rubs Virgil’s shoulders again, trying to get him to loosen up while also trying to undo the mess of tension in his own chest.

“Sweetheart? Can you look at me, please?”

“I don’t want to.”

“That’s alright,” Patton says, still trying to figure out what he can do to help, “can you breathe?”

“I’m trying not to.”

“…Virgil?”

“What?” Virgil does turn his head now, looking at Patton, only to realize that yes, he has in fact activated all of Patton’s take-care-of-fragile-kiddo instincts. “Oh, uh, oops.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, Pop Star, I’m just being dramatic.” He sits up and rubs his head a little sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Patton lets out a sigh of relief and gently hits Virgil’s arm. “Don’t do that, kiddo, you’ll make me worry.”

“I mean, you’re really sweet when you worry.”

“Virgil!”

“Alright, I’ll stop, I’m sorry.” Virgil reaches out to bundle Patton into a hug. “See? I’m good, I didn’t mean to make you worry so much.”

Patton lets out a breath of his own and pats Virgil’s chest. “You’re forgiven. Now, what was this about Remus trying to kill you?”

Virgil sighs and flops back down onto the bed, dragging Patton with him. “He’s just—he—okay, so you know how Remus is really good at knowing exactly the thing that’ll make you freak out?”

“Intimately.”

“Well, he…he…it turns out he’s also really good at knowing what won’t—calm you down is not the right way to describe it, but like, chill you out a little? Kind of? It’s like it sets you on a weird thought path that isn’t super uncomfortable but like—it’s not like how Logan is really good at calming you down.”

Patton nods slowly. “O…kay?”

“Like, you remember when we were all freaking out at getting surprised by that stupid unstoppable horror movie trailer?”

Patton shudders.

“Exactly—and he just went ‘because centaurs have six limbs, they should technically be classified as insects, discuss?’”

He giggles. “And then it led to Logan passionately holding up a featherless chicken going ‘behold, a man?’”

“Yeah, exactly.”

Patton rubs his nose. “Yeah, I remember. Is that the kind of thing you’re talking about?”

“Yeah, because I just got a scrapbook of them.”

Patton sits up. “You what?”

“He just gave me a freaking scrapbook, Pat, like—it looks really good, actually? Like, the borders are really well done and the colors are nice and I just—“

He buries his face in his hands again.

“What the fuck is he trying to do?”

“…maybe this is him working on how to express his affection in ways that aren’t traumatizing?”

“Since when has Remus cared about that? No, no, that’s not true,” Virgil backtracks before Patton can say anything, “you’re right, he does care about that. I dunno, it’s just…weird. You don’t have one of those, do you?”

“I haven’t noticed one.”

Virgil nods. Then he keeps nodding. Patton giggles and reaches out to cup the back of his neck.

“I think it’s just a sweet thing, Virgil. I don’t think you have to overthink it too much.”

“I’m sorry, have you met me?”

“I know, I know.” Patton rests their foreheads together. “It’s just…maybe it’s just a sweet thing. Maybe.”

Virgil huffs, going limp in Patton’s hold. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Do you want to stay here and rant about it for a little bit?”

“You free?”

“Sure am, kiddo.”

Virgil walks into the living room and sees Patton curled up into a chair. He scans the room to make sure no one else is there and immediately wraps his arms around him to sink them out.

“Thanks,” Patton mumbles as soon as they’re on Virgil’s bed, Virgil’s arms still tightly around him, “couldn’t move for a second.”

“It’s okay, Pop Star, that happens to me sometimes too.” He takes Patton’s glasses off to let him bury his face in Virgil’s shoulder. “You wanna talk about it?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“That’s okay, I’m embarrassing too.”

“You’ll laugh.”

“Only at your jokes.”

“…you’ll think I’m being stupid.”

Virgil cups Patton’s face in his hands and brings his head up so he can look at him properly. “I’ll never think you’re being stupid, Patton. You’re not stupid.”

Patton’s lower lip wobbles.

Fuck, who made Patton sad?

“What’s going on, Pat,” he asks as gently as he can, “why’re you like this?”

“I just—I’m—“ Patton takes a deep breath. “Is Janus always like that?”

“…I’m afraid you’re gonna have to be a bit more specific than that.”

“Like—like—“ Patton’s hands flap at his sides a few times. “Like that.”

Virgil sighs. “Dramatic, sarcastic, annoyingly pedantic, condescending, you gotta help me narrow it down a little bit.”

Patton just huffs, folding his arms and glaring at a spot on the floor. Virgil watches, waiting, only to realize that Patton’s brow is a little less furrowed than he’d expect if he was truly angry. No, instead it almost looks like a…pout?

Oh. Oh, fuck.

Virgil pinches the bridge of his nose. “Janus was flirting with you, wasn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, he’s—he does that.”

“I noticed.”

A laugh bubbles out of his throat at how indignant Patton looks. “Did it bother you that much?”

Patton wilts a little. “Yes? No? I don’t know, it…I…”

“Let me put it this way,” Virgil says when Patton can’t say anything, “did it make you uncomfortable in a bad way?”

Patton shuffles a little on Virgil’s bed. “…no.”

Virgil groans and flops onto his side. Patton lies down on top of him and he rubs his back. “Fuck.”

“Language.”

“Welcome back, Pop Star. Missed you.”

“Mhm.” Patton shifts. “So he is always like that?”

“Not all the time, but a lot of the time, yeah.” Virgil props himself up on his elbow. “What’d he do?”

Patton covers his face with his hands.

“You know what, yeah, okay, that’s fair enough.”

“Why does he do that?”

“I’m pretty sure he finds it entertaining.”

“But that’s rude.”

“I’m sorry, since when do you think Janus cares about being rude?”

Patton weakly slaps his shoulder.

“He was probably just bored, Pat,” Virgil says in all seriousness, “try not to think about it too much. And he won’t like, actually hurt you, if you’re really uncomfortable he’ll stop.”

“He will?”

“Well, either he stops or I get summoned and I get him to stop.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure he doesn’t flirt you to death.”

“Well, when you say it like that it sounds really pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic, Pop Star.”

They run into each other in the hallway outside their rooms and have a two-second battle via eye contact to figure out which room they’re going into. But then someone starts coming around the corner and—well, Patton’s room is closer.

“Okay, what the heck is going on?” Virgil tangles his hands in his hair and pulls. “I get what you were talking about, something’s up.”

“Good, because I was about to say the same thing to you.”

“What is happening?”

“Is that what Logan really talks like when he’s excited about something?”

“I know, right? It’s—it’s—“

“He glows, what is that all about?”

“And the thing with—with Princey and taking you to places he thinks you’ll like—the freaking sunset?”

“Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?”

Virgil just buries his face in his hands. Patton shakes his head a few times to try and clear it.

“And Remus—the scrapbook?”

“Did he give you one too?”

“Yes! And I don’t—how did he know what my favorite patterns were? I don’t talk about those! At all!”

“Maybe he asked Roman or something.” Virgil shakes his head. “I don’t know, I don’t know anything, I’ve never understood a damn thing in my entire life and I’m sure as hell not about to start now.”

“Hey, Virgil, your ears are red.”

Virgil slams his hands over his ears. “No, they’re not.”

“They definitely were, kiddo.”

“Shut up,” he whines, “I’m…I’m fine.”

“What happened right before you came to find me?”

Virgil mutters something along the lines of ‘I’ve been putting up with this shit for years, how does it still get to me?’

“Oh, did Janus just corner you?”

“He sure fucking did.”

“Lang—okay, yeah, that’s—that’s fair.”

“Let it be known,” Virgil crows, raising his hands above his head, “that the only reason it is acceptable to swear in front of Patton is if someone has flirted with you and you have no idea why.”

“Shush.”

“Don’t wanna.”

Patton sighs and flops gracelessly down onto his bed. Virgil follows a moment later.

“…Pat, what’s going on?”

Patton closes his eyes. “I don’t know, Virgil.”

“Why’re they all acting like this with us?”

“I don’t know, Virgil.”

“Are they doing it with each other too? I haven’t seen it.”

“I don’t think so. I think it is just us.”

“Well, that’s annoying.” Virgil pinches the bridge of his nose. “They—they’re not, like, they don’t have crushes on us or anything, do they?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t felt anything different.”

Virgil props himself up on his elbows. “Yeah. That can’t be it. Definitely not.”

“No, why would they do that?”

“Beats me.”

The two of them stay there for a while. Because there’s no way that all of the others have crushes on them. That can’t be what’s happening.

“They’re just…bored,” Patton says after a long time, “and eventually everything will go back to normal.”

“Yeah, yeah, this is fine. Totally fine.”

“Mhm.”

Virgil hits Patton’s hand gently. “You don’t go changing on me, okay?”

“As long as you don’t either.”

“Deal.”

Yeah, there’s no way this is anything other than the others being bored. No way.

+1.

It’s movie night. They’re supposed to be watching this new stupid movie that’s come out that Virgil can’t remember the name of. They’re all in a big pile on a mattress in front of the TV.

Roman greeted them both with a hug and a kiss on the cheek when they came downstairs.

Logan pulled them each aside and asked if they’d like to find a time to meet, to talk about something they were interested in.

Remus presents them each with a plushie, grinning at how gobsmacked they were by how well made the animals are.

Janus currently has three arms curled around each of them, murmuring something into their ears during louder parts of the movie.

In the half-dark of the living room, they make extremely bewildered eye contact.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, no.