Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[The Atrium, West Wing]

Alex could spot her coming from a kilometer away. Fiona’s red colored robes billow behind her as she strides powerfully toward him, sitting under the shade of an ancient oak–book in hand (what he wouldn’t do for an mp3 player right about now, no matter what professor Flitwick tells him about the rules of magic and technology).

He dogears the page he’s on and steels himself mentally for the oncoming storm of blonde that heads his way.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE HIM?”

“Oh?”

“HE CAN’T JUST DO THIS TO ME!”

“Uhuh”

“WHAT A–”

Alex tunes out Fiona as she starts on a series of increasingly grave expletives that would have Jack washing his mouth with soap (and Jack’s supposed to be the cool one).

She plops down on the grass next to him with a huff and a flip of her hair.

“Artemis Fowl will RUE the day he messed with me.” She huffs again. Then splays her fingers to scrutinize her carefully applied nail polish.

“Wait, Artemis Fowl? I thought you were dating Rafe?”

“Uh, yeah-duh we’re still together.” She twirls a stray lock of hair as she looks up dreamily, “he’s taking me to Hogsmeade this weekend.”

“Alright, well, m' happy for you–but what does Artemis Fowl have to do with anything?” Alex’s brow furrows. Not quite keeping up.

“Ugh–you’re so cute, are you sure you’re not into me? Then I could dump Rafe and we could go out. It’ll be fun!” Fiona smiles cheerfully.

“Uhm, no that’s uh...no.”

“Suit yourself,” Fiona sticks a tongue out, “you’re cute but I’m cuter.”

She flips her hair again and starts gesturing wildly.

“Anywho, the tea is that Artemis–you know Artemis—”

“I really don’t”

“Ugh–you live under a rock Alex I swear to God, what would you do without me.”

“Probably finish a lot more books…” Alex glances pensively at his copy of The Time Machine, barely broken into.

“Nerd!” She giggles.

“Stop interrupting me–now, Artemis Fowl, pureblood, snooty, kind of a great ass for someone who sucks at flying–ring a bell?”

Alex flushes, he remembers that flying class very well. Maybe too well.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, well I was in charms right?”

“Right.”

“And he–URGGGHH–I turn around, and he sits like, right behind me so I know it was him. He–UGH I’ll just show you” She takes her wand out. A perfectly normal looking unicorn hair hazelnut colored wand, and mutters a simple shielding charm.

Instead of the soft, comforting light, frogs emerge from the end of Fiona’s wand.

“YOU SEE?!”

“Uh, yeah” Alex says, banefully as he brushes the little guys off the book he’d set on the ground, tucking it away carefully into his robe.

“UGH I hate that guy, I’m going to get back at him so GOOD–”

“Uhuh and how do you plan to do that?” Alex yawns, stretching his arms to rest behind his head as the frogs hop away into the brush.

“You’re going to help me!”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Chapter Text

Artemis Fowl is in the process of looking up a copy of The Tales of Beedle the Bard at the library when a Ravenclaw bumps into him.

“Oh, sorry! Sorry I just-” Artemis glances up from the shelf he’d been scrutinizing and locks his icy blue eyes with warm brown ones, crinkled into a charmingly apologetic grimace.

“I wasn’t looking where I was going–”

“Clearly” Artemis quips, turning back to the shelf as the Ravenclaw hurries off.

He’s skimming the titles again–not quite reading them as he carefully files away the image of the other boy in his head.

–

After the free period, Artemis attends Charms.

The annoying Gryffindor in front of him has a mean look on her face. He scowls and seats himself in the row behind her, reaching into his robe for his wand.

His…wand?

“Fowl, where is your wand?” Flitwick appears at his side, looking on expectantly.

“Er–”

Flitwick sighs, “Ten points from Slytherin…”

Artemis, stunned, sits lamely through the rest of Charms with no wand.

Halfway through, he brings up the image of those warm brown eyes, that soft blonde hair… and switches his mental label from ‘idiot’, to ‘???’

Chapter Text

When Artemis enters his room (having paid off his room mates no sooner than he’d been sorted so as to have some much needed privacy)--he finds a canvas-wrapped package suspiciously wand-shaped sitting innocently on the bedside table, as if it had been simply, and quite foolishly, misplaced.

Artemis can’t help the slither of offense that crawls onto his expression at the thought.

He picks up the bundle, scrutinizing everything from the make, the way it had been folded and cut, wrapped, and presented–anything to deduce who this mystery boy was and what sort of grudge he had against him.

The cloth was plain-nothing fancy, and though that could be a diversion from having him suspect one of the richer members of his steadily growing pool of enemies, it was more likely than anything that the perpetrator was just not as affluent as he.

Not that that helped narrow things down.

Then there was the matter of the boy in the library. Artemis was willing to bet they were in the same year. And, looking back on the encounter, the way the other student had fallen against him, grasped his sleeve ever so slightly to balance them both, well.

That was definitely a red flag, if not already an obvious conclusion to the entire ordeal.

But…

Artemis knew better than to jump the metaphorical gun. There was the glaring fact that the student he’d met earlier was a total stranger–(Artemis is quite confident he’d remember that boyish smile otherwise)--so either he’d been paid to assault Artemis, or he’d have been roped into doing it…by someone else.

Artemis hums in contemplation, yes. There must be others involved.

Satisfied with his pondering, Artemis unwraps his wand…and finds himself blasted in the face with a very glittery, very loud, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes patented charm.

—

(...)

Alex crawls out quietly from under the four poster bed when Artemis storms off in a rage to the washroom. He’d barely had the time to arrange the little “present” Fiona had gotten for Artemis, and had to hide himself quickly when he heard the other boy coming up the steps.

In another moment he was out of the dorm, sprinting up the corridor leading down to the dungeon, praying he still hadn’t been seen.

In all honesty, Alex thinks the whole thing is petty and Fiona is overreacting once again, but finds he can’t quite help the grin that creeps onto his face despite it.

Chapter Text

“Alex Rider”

Alex looks up from where he and Tom have been negotiating a trade of their chocolate frog cards.

(Alex very desperately wants just one of Wizarding World Living Legend, Nicholas Flamel–but Tom’s holding stubbornly to the three he’s got, and really, Alex thinks that’s just unfair)

In front of them is one Artemis Fowl, emerald robes impeccably pressed, ice blue eyes glaring daggers, and hair…in stiff peaks and very very glittery.

Tom turns a burst of laughter into a poorly disguised coughing fit.

“Do I know you?”

Artemis glares.

“Ey–Alex, cut it out” Tom hisses and pulls the other boy closer to whisper into his ear, “that’s bloody Artemis Fowl, what are you doing?!”

Alex raises a brow, sniggering as his friend grows pale, Tom chances a glance at Artemis who has crossed his arms a safe distance away from their table.

“He’s a Slytherin! More ‘en that he’s a goddamn Fowl, haven’t you heard of ‘em before? Rumour says his da keeps in touch with Durmstrang folk up north-”

“I have no idea what any of that means”

“Alex!” Tom hisses as Alex pulls away to stand toe to toe with Artemis who is waiting impatiently–

“What can I do for you?”

Artemis raises a manicured brow.

“You mean, aside from setting traps in my bedroom, which I’m quite curious about by the way. The…ahem…mystery of how you broke into the Slytherin Dormitory will prove an interesting puzzle to solve I’m quite sure.” Artemis rambles as he steps closer to the other boy.

“Unless, of course, you’d like to tell me yourself” Artemis’s tone lowers as he leans forward–

(Alex barely registers that he’s leaned forward too, numbly he notes the scent of roses on the other boy)

“How did you do it, Alex?” Artemis whispers.

Alex doesn’t quite know what to say to that–it had been a very convoluted plan, mostly executed on the fly and he’s not entirely sure how it all happened. The way Artemis is staring at him, and the heat he can feel coming off the other boy it’s…well it certainly isn’t helping either.

“I’m giving you an out here, Rider, how about you just tell me who got you to do it.”

Alex steels himself with a deep breath in and out. Artemis’s poker face doesn’t change a bit and finally Alex says–

“Fuck off”

Artemis isn’t expecting the foul language and the surprise must show on his face because the blonde smiles sweetly and sits back down at the table with his friend.

Artemis frowns, and stalks off.

–

“Dude what the hell was that, that was awesome!” Tom’s practically got stars in his eyes as Alex lets out a sigh of relief.

“I have no idea either” Alex mumbles, shaken before glancing up, unfortunately catching Artemis’s gaze across the great hall where the boy lingers at the door, watching.

Alex shivers again.

Chapter Text

He’s in Herbology when it starts.

“Mr. Rider, could you tell me what exactly the remedy is for a sting from a venomous tentacula?”

“Yes professor it’s Bold O’Donahue”

“...ah excuse me? Er–how about you try again?” Professor Longbottom turned his gaze from the plant on his desk to stare at Alex quizzically.

Alex frowns, where did that come from?

“It’s Adam and Eve and Pinch Me”, Alex slaps his hand over his mouth. Someone sniggers in the back of the room.

“Mr. Rider, do you think this is a joke?”

“No! No, not at all sir, I just–” Alex stands from his seat, confused.

Then he starts to clap.

What.

Before he can stop himself he’s singing

(oh god what is happening)

“There once was a ship that put to sea
The name of the ship was the Billy of Tea

The winds blew up, her bow dipped down
Oh blow, my bully boys, blow”

(professor Longbottom stares on in confusion, Alex cringes at the number of house points this will cost Ravenclaw, not to mention his dignity in front of one of his favorite teachers too)

She'd not been two weeks from shore
When down on her a right whale bore

The captain called all hands and swore
He'd take that whale in tow

(he spots Tom elbow his way to the front, Alex tries to scream help me at his friend, but there's only so much he can say with a glare.

Instead of helping rather, Tom gives him a thumbs up. Looking all the while like Christmas just came early-

Cheat, traitor, right dumbass, Alex does his best to communicate murder at his friend with his eyes)

“Before the boat had hit the water
The whale's tail came up and caught her

All hands to the side, harpooned and fought her
When she dived down low”

(oh dear god no, was that Ayisha over there? Is she laughing? Oh he’s so dead--To the front meanwhile, professor Longbottom has resigned himself to an unproductive hour and pours himself a cup of tea--)

Alex mentally checks himself out of the entire thing the moment he feels himself hop onto the table to dance with the venomous tentacula, which seems more amused than murderous at least.

He’s also thanking whatever higher being there may be that wizards have not found out how to record video, much less work out the internet, or youtube.

It’s a good while before the class ends. And Alex dances and claps his way through the entire thing.

Chapter Text

Tom and Alex pick their way across the great hall to where Artemis Fowl is playing chess against a fellow Slytherin.

“Hey.“ Tom says, to which Artemis holds up a single, thin finger–the universal gesture to shut up.

There’s a moment of silence as the two boys stand to the side awkwardly. Artemis’s opponent, a fierce looking bespectacled young woman with blonde curls maintains a perfect poker face as he moves his bishop across–and…

“Checkmate.”

The girl’s poker face breaks into a scowl and she leans over the board to study it as Artemis turns to the two.

“Ah, I was wondering when you’d show. Alex, right? How are you?” The dark haired genius smiles politely, and the stubborn remnants of the glitter bomb that cling to his eyelashes irrationally make Alex’s anger burn a little brighter.

“Er, yeah so–we were just wondering, y’know…” Tom stutters out.

Artemis looks on indifferently.

“If y’could ever so kindly take off that er–curse, y’placed on Alex, he’s got like–” Tom looks back at Alex for support.

Alex glares.

“Classes? Ch-charms? Yeah charms next period, and y’know, well–I erm. Greatly impressed with the er-the stealth y’managed to place that on ‘em, s’kind of cool you know the execution is admirable–” Alex knocks Tom gently upside the head, “Er–what I mean is yeah, of course could you like, take that off? Yeah? It’s kind of uh”

Tom snaps his fingers.

“Annoying! Yea it’s–”

“Oh is it?” Artemis croons, and from a different angle, one might be inclined to call the polite expression smug. To the unfortunate onlooker however, and with the scowl on Alex’s face as it was, it would only seem as if two Ravenclaws had come over to bother a peaceful pair of friends having a good game of chess.

Artemis hums in thought as Alex glares on silently, not willing to risk opening his mouth in front of the greater student body.

“Well, I shouldn’t like to think you have to speak for your friend, Thomas. Of course, if Alex really wanted me to help him, then he’d have to ask me himself. That’s only fair, don’t you think?”

“Yeah–” Smack “--er…I mean no?”

Alex closes the short distance between him and Artemis, glaring all the while. He’s pointing a finger accusingly, silent, as Artemis vainly tries to fight off the heat crawling up his neck from the proximity of the other boy. There’s a beat, then the blonde storms off, friend following.

Artemis lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and forgets for a moment he isn’t alone until a quiet ahem brings his attention back to Minerva across him, whose expression immediately fills Artemis with a great dread.

“So…Blondes?”

Artemis fails to stop the blush from coloring his face, this time.

Chapter Text

It snowballs after that.

The next morning, Artemis pouts when he finds all his school books have been translated into–is this American English? Southern American Slang English??

The week after that, Alex’s robes are magically too short. His ankles get cold really quickly.

The next, balmy Tuesday–Artemis comes to class to find his seat decorated in blue streamers and pink glitter hearts.

On the weekend, Alex gets a howler that follows him around for a lot longer than a howler should, reciting Shakespeare at the top of its lungs.

—

“This has to stop”

Alex looks up from his potions homework to find Kyra standing over him, hair tied back in its usual fierce ponytail–arms crossed.

Alex pouts–

“He started it…”

“Technically, you did” Kyra plops down next to him, grabs a quill and starts shamelessly correcting Alex’s homework. He pouts.

“Yeah, well I’ll stop when he learns to stop being such an ass, how about that?” Kyra simply shrugs.

“Suit yourself.” She stands from where she’s finished drawing a crude x mark on Alex’s homework, hands tucking into her pockets “That hair color looks terrible on you.”

She slinks away and Alex frowns before running to the nearest mirror to find his hair has been dyed a brilliant green.

Jack would definitely wash his mouth with soap after that string of curses.

—

Alex finds Fiona making out with her boyfriend in the Astronomy tower. He clears his throat.

Fiona separates from Rafe with a wet smack.

“Alex,” she purrs, fingers still playing with Rafe’s tie who has taken to nibbling her neck like a vampire–(ew), “care to join us?”

“No.”

“Suit yourself.” She turns to whisper into Rafe’s ear. He grumbles back something unintelligible, and shoots Alex a dirty look as he gets up and walks back down the tower steps.

Fiona fixes her robes with a flick of her wand, takes one look at Alex’s hair and fixes that too.

“Ugh, you know green is so not your color–” she pouts.

“Yeah, well you can thank Artemis Fowl for that” Alex mutters, pulling his bangs down to see that, indeed, his hair has been returned to its normal color.

“Oh right about that–you know how Esther Filibert sits next to me in Charms? Yeah, turns out she put a curse on my wand because she was like, super jealous of me. She’s got the hots for Rafe or something so like, yeah, revenge or whatever.” She picks on her nails, flipping her blonde waves over her shoulder before continuing, “it’s really stupid that she thinks she has a chance with him I mean have you seen her? She’s cute but I’m hot. I put her in her place though, so she won’t be bothering me again any time soon.”

Fiona stands from the windowsill she’d been perched on. Dusting off her robes before raking her eyes over Alex, who stands in front of her, dumbfounded.

“…”

“Aaaaannyyway, toodles!”

She practically skips down the steps and Alex stands there until the next class finds him on their way up to the divination rooms.

Chapter Text

Alex looks up from his copy of the complete Grimm’s fairy tales when a sharp set of knuckles rap on the wood of the table he’s seated at.

Artemis Fowl stands in front of him, glowering. His eyes are hard and cold, his hair is (finally) fully glitter-free, and his robes are as neat as ever.

Alex frowns a little, what did he do this time?

"What is it, Artemis?” Alex sighs, finding a scrap piece of parchment to save his spot in the story.

“Explain yourself.” Artemis straightens, and crosses his arms, polished shoes tapping a staccato rhythm on the library floor.

"I didn't do anything” Alex grumbles as he slouches in his seat.

“Exactly. Where is it. What’s the trick–” Artemis scans him up and down wearily, “you haven’t pulled anything in the last two weeks. Are you playing the long game, Rider? Or are you sitting there, smug as you drive me insane with your twisted psychological torture.”

“Ugh!” Alex stands up from the table so abruptly his chair scrapes across the floor loud enough to warrant a hasty shhhh from the Hufflepuff in the other corner.

Alex lowers his voice to an angry whisper, “Can’t you just accept that I’m finished? I’m not playing games with you anymore, it’s not a long con, I’m just–” Alex runs a hand through his messy blonde hair, Artemis can’t help tracking the movement with his eyes. His hair looks soft.

“I’m tired.” the Ravenclaw sighs.

“You won, okay? Are you happy?” Alex grabs his wand from the table and rushes out of the library, leaving Artemis more confused than ever.

-

When Artemis comes out of his stupor, he notices that, in the other boy’s rush to leave the library, he’d left his book. Artemis touches the cover gently, then, figuring he had nothing else to do for the afternoon, opens the book to the page he’d seen Alex bookmark earlier.

The King's Son Who Feared Nothing

There was once a king's son, who was no longer content to stay at home in his father's house, and as he had no fear of anything, he thought, I will go forth into the wide world, there the time will not seem long to me, and I shall see wonders enough…

Artemis settles down in the chair Alex had vacated to read.

Chapter Text

Alex is accompanying Tom to meet with their Transfiguration professor when a hand pulls him into a hidden alcove along the wall.

“Rider.”

“Bw–huh?” Alex double takes to see the pale hand on his sleeve connected to, well Artemis Fowl, “what–are you going to play a prank on me again? I told you, I’m done.”

“No, no this isn’t about that. You er–” Artemis, with a look that can only be described as shy, draws something out of his robe, holding it up for Alex to see.

Warily, the Ravenclaw takes it and gasps when he sees it’s his missing book, “oh…”

“You left it in the library. I didn’t take it, I promise.” Artemis mutters quietly. Alex looks at him like he’s never seen the other boy before.

“Wow, uh thanks?”

“Of course. It’s the least I could do after uh–”

“Dying my hair green?”

“Yes, well and all the other things too.”

Alex stares, completely baffled as he sees a side to the other boy he’s not entirely sure is real. This Artemis is more than a little awkward. He's soft spoken, bashful, he’s…he’s fiddling with his hands?

(he’s got really thin, really pretty hands…)

“Thanks,” Alex reaches out to grasp at the other boy’s shoulder. Artemis jumps at the contact and Alex quickly withdraws his hand “oh sorry! I just uh–”

“No, no it’s–I wasn’t expec–” Artemis is…is he blushing pink? Alex feels himself start to heat up too before–

“Oi! Alex, where’d you–” Tom rounds the corridor, and catches sight of them. Freezing in his tracks, “I’m…going to wait over there” he says, embarrassed and disappears around the corner again.

“Uhm I should-”

“Yes, yes, of course–”

“Yeah, I’ll uhm, I’ll see you around?”

The Slytherin simply nods, and slips out of the alcove. Walking briskly down the corridor.

Alex stares after him, then at the book in his hands and starts to think Artemis Fowl might not be such a bad guy after all.

Chapter Text

Artemis's porridge grows cold with neglect as he skims the page of the book he's borrowed from the library.

The relative peace of his early morning breakfast at the Great Hall evaporates the moment Alex Rider plops down on the seat opposite him, holding a sweet bun and a glass of orange juice.

Artemis watches him take a big bite into the roll of bread, eyes closed and half asleep. Then, ever so slowly, sip at his juice.

When Alex lays the glass down on the table again he's a lot more alert than he was a few seconds ago, brown eyes wide and friendly.

"Good morning" He greets as he bites into his sweet bun again.

"Good... Morning?" Artemis says back, not too sure what's going on. He's half tempted to pinch himself just to make sure he isn't still dreaming.

He glances at the other occupants of the Slytherin house table. It's early enough in the day that only a handful of his house-mates are up, and the few that are present seem uninclined to raise their heads from their parchment of notes.
"What are you doing?"

"Hm? Oh--" Alex swallows the last of his breakfast, "I was up all night studying for Arithmancy. Professor Vikram's known to throw in a lot of trick questions." Alex stifles a yawn, "it's my weakest subject and I don't want to lag behind the other Ravenclaws"

"Yes, Professor Vikram's one of the tougher ones," Artemis hums in thought, doing his best all to forget about the last time he'd been face to face with Alex Rider, not to mention puzzling through Rider's motivation to approach him so casually at breakfast.

"... in a way, I'm almost glad for the challenge."

"Challenge?" Alex frowns, drumming his fingers on the table.

Artemis shrugs and turns the book he'd been studying to face Alex. He taps a diagram that, for all Alex might have thought he'd prepared well enough for his later exam, made him feel pretty stupid.

"The numbers form patterns. When you know the pattern you can solve almost any problem." Artemis turns the book back around, shutting the thick leather cover as he draws his wand, "half the time the trick is just asking the right questions"

He begins to draw in the air, blue glowing boxes upon lines and symbols that leave Alex agape in awe.

The glow of the magic fades soon enough and Alex flicks his gaze back to where Artemis is watching him, almost warily.

"Can you teach me?"
"Er--sorry?" Artemis stutters, chest constricting in a way that almost has him on his feet and running to the nearest washroom.

"Teach me!" Alex leans forward, and Artemis has never been more grateful for the precise width of the tables that form the dining area of the Great Hall.

"You're not--" Artemis clears his throat into his fist as he nearly chokes on his own spit, "you don't find it weird? Or pretentious?"

The other boy scoffs, "No, you'd have to be an idiot to turn down a way out of a 'poor' grade on a final exam."

With that, Alex hops the table, sliding down the distance to sit himself on the bench next to Artemis, who at this point was weighing the consequences of shooting himself in the foot with a sectumsempra. This couldn't be real.

The other boy doesn't seem to register the Slytherin's distress and simply smiles. Genuinely, not teasing or smug like before. A warm, tentative smile.

It looks good on him.

Artemis takes a deep breath and begins, "right, so...what do you know of magic squares?"

Chapter Text

"So when are you gonna ask him out"

Artemis chokes on his (very hot, mind you) cup of tea when Minerva's voice emerges from over his shoulder.

"You're helpless" she says, sitting on the plush emerald armchair of the Slytherin common room. In one casual gesture she's raised privacy wards strong enough to keep away their nosier house mates; flicking at the soft, barely-there translucent shield as an afterthought, to add a stinging curse to anyone within a meter of their sitting area.

Artemis, meanwhile, continues to cough up half a lung for a good while. After which, he manages to glare at his (only) friend over the lip of his empty teacup. She smirks at him.

"I'm--" Artemis flushes when she raises a single, blonde brow, "--working on it"

"Oh wow you're not even going to deny it?"

Artemis pouts, gently placing the ceramic cup back onto the matching saucer.

"I know better than to try and deceive you again, Minerva"

"I'm so proud," she feigns wiping away an invisible tear, "a year ago you wouldn't even admit we were friends, let alone that you had a crush on me"

Artemis scowls, "I thought we were never going to talk about that."

"No, you said you'd never talk about that," she pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose, "I, on the other hand, am going to be holding it over you for forever."

Artemis can't help the shadow of a smile ghost his face--he's not sure what he did to get Minerva to stick around, especially after all that--but he's glad she did.

Not that he'd ever tell her that, she'd just start gloating again.

"So... Alex?"

Artemis bites his lower lip--habits emerging from a spike in feelings of anxiety, the small voice at the back of his head whispers, hormones he's blaming it on hormones--"I..."

"..."

"Oh..." Minerva's tone quickly loses the mirth from earlier, "you have no idea do you?"

Artemis can't bring himself to look at her, eyes shifting everywhere from the elaborate rug on the common room floor, to the jade colored banners that decorate the walls. As far as Minerva is concerned, that might as well be a guilty admission from the boy himself.

"He's...he's just so--" Artemis uncrosses his legs, posture slumping forward as he rests his chin on the butt of his hand and--wow, Minerva notes he must be quite stressed over it all to posture so casually in public.

"I don't know...what he would like? I thought maybe, gifts--? People give gifts when courting but Alex is so much more than that, he deserves something more than anything money could buy, and I've got no clue if he'd like chocolates or flowers or just find it all emasculating or not--" Artemis pauses for a breath, "then, there's er--the matter of asking him somewhere, nice? But I don't know anything about nice--much less the 'nice' that happens on a date, or--

Artemis abruptly sits up, letting out a sound of despair "What if he's straight!?"

"Okay--that's enough from you, " Minerva grasps the boys wrists from where his hands have been gesticulating wildly. He lets out a breath and matches her breathing for one...

two...

three...

"Thank you"

"You're welcome," Minerva smiles softly, "now...how about you tell me what's really bothering you- slower, this time?"

Chapter Text

The Defense Against the Dark Arts final was not a laughing matter.

Four houses, duels set up with students of each year pit against each other: it was something of a tournament-style assignment that, historically, had teachers promising students "this will be fun!" and to "just relax, do your best". Never mind the fact the less studious pupils often got sent to the infirmary for not casting their shielding charms in time to stop a stupefy.

That Friday afternoon, the school wide activity had boiled down to a handful of finalists. And though Alex knew from the way the brackets had been set up, that he would not be dueling his new Slytherin friend; he might be able to catch Artemis's duelwith Kyra, if Alex finished his own early enough.

(and that was a match Alex would pay his weight in gold to see)

-

A well placed confundus and expelliarmus later, Alex comes out of his final victorious against an overeager Gryffindor. Just in time for the professor to signal the start of Artemis's match.

Heart racing, Alex jogs up to the platform where a small crowd has gathered to watch his friends battle it out. The two stand at opposite ends, a careful air of indifference about the Ravenclaw, and an immaculate poker face on the Slytherin's.

Despite the signal of the match's start, neither wizard has moved. They simply stared.

And stared...

until-

flash bang bang

And Kyra's lunged forward, swift incantations muttered under her breath as her birch wand whips the air in front of her with deadly precision. Spell after spell soars at her opponent, and smoke emanates from the hiss, crackle, and boom of the relentless assault.

When it clears, an unconscious Artemis lays on the platform.

Alex can feel his heart stop when he sees the way the other boy lays on the stage, a little broken, more pale than usual and bleeding from the temple.

Rules be damned, he's about to rush to his friends side when Kyra gets there first, wand pointed at Artemis Fowl's throat steadily.

snap

It flies out of her hand, zooming behind her to rest in the firm grip of a slim hand. Kyra turns in time to catch the Slytherin, fully conscious, and able bodied, step out from a carefully concealed fold in space. Like a mirror, or a curtain...

"Game." The Professor claps, and Kyra can't help but stare wide eyed at her opponent, who twirls her wand teasingly.

Kyra glances back at the body on the floor in time to see it burst into fireflies. The lightning bugs flit around the room peacefully as the hall murmurs in awe.

"Good match"

He raises a brow, and offers Kyra's wand back to her.

She takes it with a grateful nod,

"I could have sworn there was only one invisibility cloak in the world." she says plainly.

"Yes, well, I don't have it, let me start with that much, at least. Compared to the real thing, I'm positive my cobbled together concealment charm would not have worked in the slightest."

The professor and most of the crowd have moved on, leaving the two a measure of privacy that allows Kyra to ask,

"How did you do it?"

Artemis waves his wand idly as a stray firefly flits across his face, before presenting a handkerchief from his pocket.

Kyra takes a moment to stare, raising a brow at the boy before jumping into his explanation,

"I know, reflex-wise that I am not the fastest or most accurate. So to make up for it I needed to develop another strategy," he begins, waving his wand in a wordless leviosa that has the handkerchief levitating a modest inch from his hand. With a flick and swish, the cloth has flattened out, then is pulled into a dome as Artemis angles his wand upward.

Artemis casts an advanced disillusion charm with a soft incantation and the cloth takes the color of its surroundings.

He pockets the handkerchief after a swift disengagement of the charms. And shrugs, "after figuring out the strategy I wanted to employ, it was a matter of getting used to maintaining the charms all at once."

Kyra hums in throught, "you would have needed a barrier much larger than that to conceal yourself--engorgio?"

Artemis nods, "mimicking the invisibility cloak was always the end goal. And casting disillusion on myself was a risk I didn't want to take. The spell doesn't move with the object, so you'd have seen me if I needed to dodge you"

"And the decoy?"

"Fireflies under a cold spell, they hibernate in the winter, and are easy enough to sneak under your robes in a small jar. I scattered them in the place I was standing before casting a modified transfiguration"

"I didn't know you could use transfiguration on multiple objects..." Kyra says warily.

Artemis slips his hands into his pockets, "Yes, well--transfiguration is a manipulation of mass, and mass is only another factor in the equation for light. Figuring out the right angles to bounce the light off each point--in this case, the fireflies, was the tricky part."

Kyra opens her mouth to ask another question, but before she can, a soft, deep voice calls Artemis from stage left.

He softly excuses himself before walking down the length of the platform to where Professor Malfoy waits at the end.

Kyra looks after him for a while, then turns to where Alex is staring.

"So...have you asked him out yet, or can I?"

Alex flushes.

Chapter Text

The weekend rolls around and Alex finds himself (for the very first time) nervous about meeting Artemis Fowl.

They're supposed to walk around Hogsmead together, grab a Butterbeer or two, but yesterday's display of advanced magic has Alex shaken to the core. He's not entirely sure what about it was so jarring, but he figured he could hold out being in his company for long enough to sort out his feelings later.

Much... Much later...

(okay, okay--he's holding out on the theory that if he can ignore it long enough the weird feeling will go away on its own, sue him)

It's not like he can help it really. He's sure anyone would feel a little intimidated--

(intimidated? Yeah Alex is pretty sure that's what the feeling is)

Especially with the way Artemis made it all look so easy. Hell, none of the senior Ravenclaws much less anyone else he knows could pull off a wordless spell or cast an illusion as complex as the one Artemis managed to pull off in a fraction of a second.

Unbidden, Alex's thoughts drift to the way the other boy had looked on the floor of the dueling platform.

Bloody, pale, and still.

Alex shivers and blames it on the snow that seems to be falling almost everyday now.

He's waiting for Artemis in the courtyard. And Alex has taken to admiring the old stone parapets of the castle that are dusted in white--

(Not because he can't bear to think anymore about yesterday's events, no, of course not)

Then he spots Artemis coming down the corridor that leads into the clearing. The other boy's already pale skin looks otherworldly against the freshly fallen snow. His dark hair stands out against all the white, combed back in its usual neat style, and despite the heavy winter cloak on his shoulders Artemis's cheeks are already flushed from the cold.

"Ready to go?" he says, words fogging in the space between them.

Alex thinks he might need to check into the infirmary with the rate his heart starts pumping.

"Ready as I'll ever be"

-

They find their way around Hogsmead in companiable silence. Artemis finds himself curious at how easy it is, almost, to relax around Alex. He'd only known the other boy for...half a year was it?

Yes, their days of curses involving spontaneous poetry, glitter, and garish hair dye, were far behind them it seemed. And despite all the frustration that came with it, Artemis finds (as they walk past merry caroling elves and trolls toting fresh gingerbread around Hogsmeade's busy Christmas Market)-

--that he's very glad to have met Alex Rider.

-

Alex holds open the door to The Three Broomsticks for Artemis, who takes in the pub with mild curiosity. The surface of the wooden tables are worn with use. Classmates, professors, travelling wizards, and magical creatures of all shapes and sizes, are having their fill of drink and merriment.

Overall, Artemis finds he doesn't mind the atmosphere, it's different from what he's used to, that much is obvious, but it's...nice.

Its a nice different.

Alex grabs a small table for them in the corner and by instinct Artemis seats himself with his back to the wall. He's sure if Butler were here he'd have a heart attack. As it was, Hogwarts and its periphery were safe enough to appease the old bloke's protective instincts (that doesn't mean Artemis can't miss his old friend's company though).

As Alex orders, Artemis scans the crowd. People watching has always been his favorite past time, especially when it comes to being in public--which he'd really preferred not to be, most of the time.

There's a half giant at the bar, looking all the part of a weary groundskeeper. A couple of elves are sat at a round table, ooh-ing and aww-ing at the single glass of soda into which a waitress is steadily pouring a generous load of cherry syrup. In the other corner-

Oh? Well...

His thoughts are interrupted when the server greets them, placing two Butterbeers on their small wooden table. And Artemis looks up to find Alex staring at him with a soft smile on his face.

"What is it?"

"Oh--uhhh" Alex flushes, "I was just wondering what you were thinking about?"

"Nothing in particular, I'm sorry to say," Artemis worries his lower lip. He's irrationally guilty that he doesn't have a more interesting answer--but its just so easy, so easy to be honest with Alex, but why? How?

"It's okay, I get like that sometimes too-" Artemis is drawn out of his own head once more to find Alex looking at him warmly.

"It just looked like you were uh," Alex taps his upper lip with his index finger, "kind of distant there."

(Artemis starts mentally reciting the Fibonacci sequence, it's the only way he thinks he can stop blushing every time the other boy draws attention to his lips)

(oh--Minerva's right he's hopeless)

"I thought I saw someone I knew" Artemis offers lamely. And really, he can worry about that later, he's here to enjoy Alex.

(Alex's company, he mentally corrects himself, his company, not...not-oh dear he's not going to last the evening if he keeps on going like this)

"You just did it again," Alex smiles a teasing lilt to his mouth that reaches all the way to his eyes, "you get this look on your face when you're thinking sometimes, but its kind of different from when you're studying something..."

"Hmmm...how to-right, so when you've got a load of magical theory in front of you, your face gets all calm like. Sort of a precision focus state or maybe like you're piecing together some kind of puzzle only you can see," all the while, Alex has his fingers on the table, tapping a beat to an invisible song, his eyes fixed on a random spot in the opposite wall, "but when we're just hanging out sometimes, you have this other look on your face that's also pretty neutral but...far away? Somehow? I think that's the best I can describe it"

Alex glances back at Artemis who is staring at him weird again.

"Sorry did I say something wron-"

"Do you want to get out of here?"

"Uh, you," Alex's brow furrows in confusion and he gestures to the drinks in front of them, "you haven't even touched your-"

"We'll come back" with that, Artemis pulls Alex to his feet, tossing a handful of galleons on the table which was way more than what their drinks cost-

(quietly Alex mourns the opportunity to pay)

Before he knows it, Artemis has pulled him from the tavern, out into the cold, to a quieter part of the village. Lanterns pierce the fog with a soft yellow glow and snow falls on the tall roofs of the homes that line the road and wow Artemis is a lot closer than-

Oh

Oh--that's what he

Okay?

Artemis presses his lips harder against Alex's, and wow, yeah that's more than okay.

Alex wraps his arms around Artemis's waist, pulling him close as the other boy groans into his mouth.

When they separate, they're panting. The hot fog of their breath mixing in the cold air of the space in between them.

"wow-"

"you-"

"me too"

"can I-"

"yes"

"again?"

"-yes"

And Alex kisses Artemis again, sweet and soft in the middle of a cold winter afternoon.

Chapter Text

Back at The Three Broomsticks, precisely opposite the corner that Alex and Artemis had sat in, Minerva Paradizo sips at her mug of Butterbeer while the Gryffindor next to her rambles on a passionate recap of the events they'd just witnessed.

"Oh my god did you guys see that?" Fiona exclaims, gesturing wildly with her hands, "the way skinny-boy just manhandled Alex? I'm calling foul."

"What are you talking about," Kyra deadpans, sat opposite Minerva, nursing a Firewhisky, "Alex is so far gone on the guy, he'd probably jump off a mountain if he asked."

Minerva slips off her glasses to clean them with the edge of her sleeve.

"Well, as much as I could claim to be stunned at the erm, the audacity of my house-mate, I have to say I'm not surprised," she nods at Kyra, "Alex might well be head over heels, but so is Artemis."

Fiona flips her hair over her shoulder, then bites at her thumb as she stares into the distance, "what I'd give to be in between those two"

Kyra hits the Gryffindor upside the head, (who yelps in good humor more than offense) just as Tom Harris runs up to their table, breathless and dusted with snow.

"I'm sorry I'm late, did I miss anything?"

"Did you miss anything," Kyra scoffs, "you slowpoke-Tom, you missed everything!"

"Oh--damn, well then who made the first move, right? I didn't stick by my boy, Alex's side for a losing bet did I?"

Minerva shrugs, "Sorry, Tom I don't know what to tell you..."

Tom's face falls.

Eventually though, as Fiona recaps the events once more, Tom throws 5 galleons apiece to the girls and comforts himself with the largest tankard of Butterbeer in Madam Rosmerta's pantry.