Chapter Text
It is a lovely warm day in summer, and Shen Qingqiu is pouting.
Not pouting! He’d made that extremely clear to Ning Yingying when she stopped by the bamboo house earlier to offer some tea and company. Look, it’s been two days since Luo Binghe left, and no one’s seen Shen Qingqiu throw a fit, have they?! Not like his sensitive husband, whose eyes had filled with big sparkling tears at the prospect of having to leave his shizun for five entire days. Shen Qingqiu likes to think he is rather more mature than that, and any reports of “moping” or “pouting” from his disciples are just meant to rile him up.
At least, thinks Shen Qingqiu as he gazes unseeingly at whatever Vaguely Important Sect Business Document he’s supposed to be reading over, it really is only five days. Luo Binghe has been summoned to the far reaches of his domain to oversee the repair of a few complicated magical barrier devices for a people that Shen Qingqiu had never even heard of. Unfortunately, due to the nature of the magic, a Heavenly Demon’s presence was required. Even more unfortunately, this particular group of people have strict rules against outside interference with their barrier systems. Though they could make an exception for Luo Binghe, they could not make one for his spouse. And so Shen Qingqiu had resolved to spend the time on Cang Qiong Mountain, attending to sect business, and, okay, maybe doing a little bit of “pouting.”
Really, it’s not that bad. He gets to spend time with his other disciples, and Liu Qingge; plus, his, ah, lower regions get a break from being subjected to that heavenly pillar! And so what if he doesn’t get to investigate up-close a new type of magic he’s never seen before. This world is huge! There’ll always be another adventure!
As it so happens, at around noon, adventure comes to find Shen Qingqiu all by itself.
Shen Qingqiu is reading at his desk when Ning Yingying pokes her head into the bamboo house, a somewhat uncertain expression on her face.
“Shizun, there’s a young man here to see you,” she says. “He calls himself Zhuzhi-lang. Do you know him?”
Shen Qingqiu’s head snaps up.
No way, no way—Zhuzhi-lang died at Maigu Ridge! The only way Zhuzhi-lang could be here is if someone was impersonating him. Why would someone choose to do that? Or, unless… he’s been resurrected somehow?! That seems even more unlikely, but anything’s possible—he had better take a look.
He nods to Ning Yingying. “Send him in.”
Sure enough, less than a minute later, the door slides open and in steps Zhuzhi-lang. He’s wearing a plain robe and a small, shy smile. Something about his demeanor seems uncharacteristically faltering, but even so, when his soft eyes meet Shen Qingqiu’s, they light up, and his smile grows wider.
“Master Shen,” he says quietly, and bows.
Shen Qingqiu takes a moment to stare, no reply coming readily to his mind. His immediate response is relief: a tiny, guilty part of his brain had worried over Zhuzhi-lang’s demise for some time after Maigu Ridge, and to find him alive and well again is more than he ever could have hoped. But what might he want from Shen Qingqiu? That must be why he’s here, right—there’s a spark of something in his eyes, like he’s come to ask for a favor. Shit, Shen Qingqiu should really say something before this gets awkward.
“Does Tianlang-jun know you’re alive?”
Zhuzhi-lang nods. “He was the one who resurrected me. But this one must also thank Master Shen for his gracious involvement.”
Before Shen Qingqiu can ask what the hell he means by his involvement, Zhuzhi-lang crosses the room in a flash and kneels beside Shen Qingqiu, facing him. Not on the other side of the desk, mind you! Right next to him, inches away, as in, the place where Binghe sits when he wants to lay his head on his shizun’s shoulder while Shen Qingqiu is absorbed in his work!
“Master Shen’s kindness is more than I could ever repay,” murmurs Zhuzhi-lang. He folds his hands in his lap, looking up with such an earnest expression that Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t dare tell him off for the impropriety. “I can only hope that as his husband I may provide him some amount of happiness.”
As his…
As his husband??!?!
Shen Qingqiu suddenly feels as if the train of his thought has been driven straight off a cliff.
If his surprise has made it onto his face, Zhuzhi-lang doesn’t seem to notice. Slowly, he takes one hand and raises it to loosely cup Shen Qingqiu’s face. His skin is smooth and cold.
“And some amount of pleasure…?” he continues in an even softer voice.
Oh no. Ah, Zhuzhi-lang, no, you’ve got it all wrong!! Shen Qingqiu would very much like to protest, but when he tries to clear his throat it ends up kind of garbled (seriously, how do you fuck up a cough?!), and Zhuzhi-lang apparently takes the noise as an invitation to lean in and kiss him.
Shen Qingqiu half expects System alarm bells to start going off in his brain. Or maybe for Luo Binghe to kick down the door and storm in. But actually, Zhuzhi-lang is kind of? Good? At kissing? Well, not good, he clearly doesn’t have any experience—but he sure isn’t chomping on Shen Qingqiu’s lips, so that’s basically exemplary already!
It’s a very soft kiss, but Zhuzhi-lang rapidly gains confidence. His free arm winds around Shen Qingqiu’s neck and then he’s really kissing him, tongue and all, and oh god Zhuzhi-lang’s tongue is forked; how cool is that!! And… long. Very long. Shen Qingqiu cannot repress a sound that’s very nearly a moan. Listen, he doesn’t really want to be kissing Zhuzhi-lang right now, but he also doesn’t want to shove him away and deal with a sad look on that cute face of his! Better to let him finish and then clear up the misunderstanding.
But Zhuzhi-lang, emboldened by Shen Qingqiu’s little noises of pleasure, does not stop. Shen Qingqiu feels himself be tipped back onto the floor; Zhuzhi-lang follows him, opening his legs to straddle Shen Qingqiu’s hips. Separated for a moment, Shen Qingqiu takes in a deep, ragged breath. Zhuzhi-lang’s face is flushed a pretty pink; a lock of his hair has come loose and fallen down to tickle Shen Qingqiu’s forehead.
“Is this acceptable?” asks Zhuzhi-lang. “Should we move to the bed? Or would Master Shen prefer to do it on the floor…”
“Do what,” Shen Qingqiu sputters.
Zhuzhi-lang’s brows furrow. “Consummate our marriage?”
What the fuck???
In contrast to his panicking brain, Shen Qingqiu tries to make his next words as calm as he can. “Zhuzhi-lang, ah… what makes you say we’re married?”
“How else would Junshang have brought me back to life?”
Oh. Unfortunately, Shen Qingqiu knows exactly what is going on here.
The Sepulchral Marriage is one of several (increasingly ridiculous) rituals Airplane concocted in order to bring some of Binghe’s wives back from the dead. After their deaths had incited rage on Zhongdian, the hack author had caved to the readers and made Binghe perform various sexy resurrection rituals that didn’t fit into the novel’s established magic system at all. Once upon a time, Shen Yuan had had much to say about how bullshit he found this particular ritual, but at least it wasn’t basically necrophilia like a couple of the other ones. In short, a Sepulchral Marriage allows a Heavenly Demon to bind the soul of a dead person to the soul of a living being in the mortal realm. If the ritual is a success, the dead person will be temporarily revived for three days, in which time they must consummate their “marriage” lest they die again for good.
In Proud Immortal Demon Way, a lady who Luo Binghe was courting was killed in a skirmish with a cultivation sect. He had later stumbled across the instructions for the Sepulchral Marriage, and had gone through all that effort to bring her back to life and subsequently have outrageous amounts of sex. If Shen Qingqiu remembers correctly, the ritual only works if the target’s death was violent or accidental, rather than a suicide—he shudders to think what might have happened if, a few years ago, his Luo Binghe had got his hands on a ritual like that!
Shen Qingqiu clears his throat, successfully this time. “Tianlang-jun performed a Sepulchral Marriage?”
Zhuzhi-lang nods.
“And he tied your soul to… me?”
“You were not informed?”
No, Shen Qingqiu very much was not informed!!
He sits up. Zhuzhi-lang scrambles off him, kneeling a couple feet away but never letting his eyes leave Shen Qingqiu’s face. There are quite a few things Shen Qingqiu wants to say right now about Tianlang-jun and his understanding of certain important concepts like “informed consent,” but decides against cussing him out in front of his devoted nephew.
“Junshang assured me you would assent,” Zhuzhi-lang says. He sounds worried. “Was he wrong?”
“I,” says Shen Qingqiu. “I’m. Um. Already married.”
Zhuzhi-lang’s expression doesn’t change. “If Master Shen has practice in these things, I am sure he’ll be an excellent husband to both of his partners.”
Shen Qingqiu swallows. “I don’t think Luo Binghe would approve of his husband having another partner.”
Zhuzhi-lang tilts his head, recognition dawning on his face. “Oh,” he says. “Well, it’s a spiritual marriage, not a formal marriage, so if Luo Binghe doesn’t approve, I can go to live on my own again after we sleep together.” The blush returns, stronger.
No, no, Luo Binghe wouldn’t approve of that at all! There’s no way Zhuzhi-lang is this ignorant, right?! Isn’t Tianlang-jun a huge fan of human romance? He watched his uncle court Su Xiyan; surely he must know that it’s, ah, considered in bad form to have sex with someone else if you’re married!
“Zhuzhi-lang, I can’t—” He gestures vaguely. “—Do that with you!”
“You don’t want to?”
Shen Qingqiu resists the urge to put his face in his hands. Stop looking so pitiful, Zhuzhi-lang; your Master Shen really can’t do this thing for you, okay!
“It would be cheating on Binghe,” he says firmly. And he’s gone, so he can’t ask him before Zhuzhi-lang’s time runs out… agh, and even if he were here, he’d probably say no! He sighs. “Can’t you ask someone else? I’ll help you find a nice young demon woman or something; you’d like that much better than me, right?”
Zhuzhi-lang shakes his head solemnly. “It has to be you, Master Shen. Once Junshang bound our souls…”
Not a generic fuck-or-die, but a specific fuck-or-die! These wife plots are getting horrifyingly advanced.
“I’m sorry,” Zhuzhi-lang continues in a small voice. “I assumed you had consented. That was wrong of me. Master Shen has done so much for me already; I will not compel him to do anything more.”
He stands abruptly. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Shen Qingqiu leaps up and catches his hand before he can shuffle out of the room.
“No, stop—this is your life we’re talking about! This master would be unhappy if you died again. Let’s go talk to Tianlang-jun. We’ll figure something out. Okay?”
Shen Qingqiu realizes suddenly that the tone he’s been using is the one he uses to console Binghe. But it seems to have the desired effect. Zhuzhi-lang’s eyes drop to Shen Qingqiu’s hand, clasped tightly around his own, then rise up to meet Shen Qingqiu’s gaze, his face brimming with gratitude.
-
They find Tianlang-jun beside one of the gardens of Zhao Hua Temple.
Though this is his first real visit to this part of Zhao Hua Temple, Shen Qingqiu remembers the garden well from its brief description in Proud Immortal Demon Way. It’s made entirely of carefully-placed rocks and white gravel raked into wave-like patterns: so, a typical Japanese rock garden. Shen Yuan had dedicated a large section of his comment for that chapter decrying Airplane’s use of a well-known feature of Zen Buddhist temples for Zhao Hua, a temple that was decidedly not part of Zen or any other Japanese tradition. (“Probably Pure Land Buddhism,” he’d said, as if he knew anything about Buddhism at all.) Airplane had actually responded, made fun of Shen Yuan for not knowing that Zen is derived from Chan, a Chinese school of Mahayana Buddhism, and pointed out that Japanese rock gardens have their origins in certain Chinese estate gardens that combined Daoist mythology with a Pure Land aesthetic. Shen Yuan had shot back with some quip about Shinto that was probably pulled out of his ass, Airplane had ducked out of the conversation like the coward he was, and some commenter who actually knew what they were talking about gave Shen Yuan a very long and pedantic speech on the religious syncretism of xianxia.
So, Shen Qingqiu is not particularly fond of this garden. Or its sole occupant, for that matter.
“Surely you must understand,” Tianlang-jun is saying. Like Zhuzhi-lang, he’s dressed in much simpler robes than the last time Shen Qingqiu saw him. He also seems to be doing pretty well in his body, all things considered; his movements are fluid as he strolls around the perimeter of the garden. “Who else could I have chosen? Couldn’t be me, of course, and it couldn’t be a random nobody either. And, given Zhuzhi-lang’s existing feelings for you, you were the perfect choice!”
Existing feelings? Could Zhuzhi-lang have been kissing him for reasons other than just trying to seduce him? Shen Qingqiu whips around to look at Zhuzhi-lang, who’s walking beside them a couple paces to the left, cheeks red and eyes on the ground. He’ll, uh, have to deal with that one later.
“I’m married to your son,” he tells Tianlang-jun helplessly for perhaps the third time.
“Yes, well, see, neither you nor my son ever decided to drop by Zhao Hua and tell me! I’m happy for you, I really am, but you can’t have expected me to know important details like that.” Something of Shen Qingqiu’s sour attitude must show in his face, because Tianlang-jun smiles. “You’re married to my son; surely you wouldn’t mind being married to my nephew as well? You’d have the honor of being both my son-in-law and my nephew-in-law!”
Being related to Tianlang-jun in just one way is more than enough. Shen Qingqiu waves his fan and nods politely, determined to play the part of the cool cultivator and not protest more than he needs to.
“I understand. I only mean to ask—as far as you know, is there any way to make the effects of the ritual permanent without, ah, consummating the marriage?”
Tianlang-jun lifts a single eyebrow. “Master Shen, I’m surprised you object. Have you not slept with my nephew before?”
Shen Qingqiu very nearly chokes. Zhuzhi-lang lets out a simultaneous noise of distress.
“I have not,” Shen Qingqiu says delicately, ducking a little further beneath his open fan. “Zhuzhi-lang is a very lovely man, but I would be interested to know my other options.”
Zhuzhi-lang’s blush deepens. Tianlang-jun chuckles.
“If you insist, you’ll be happy to know there is indeed another way. The Sepulchral Marriage is based on typical human marriage rituals; it does not consider itself ‘complete’ until the final act—that is, sex—has been concluded. However, there should be a way to override this requirement: by carrying to completion an entirely different type of marriage ritual. Fortunately, my nephew is part Snake Demon. If the two of you go through the entirety of a Snake Demon marriage within the next three days, that should satisfy the requirements of the Sepulchral Marriage.”
Upon hearing this announcement, two very different emotions run through Shen Qingqiu’s head at once.
On the one hand, boy is he relieved! This way he doesn’t have to cheat on Binghe, plus… what he’s doing with Zhuzhi-lang isn’t really a real marriage. It’s not stealing Binghe’s place if Zhuzhi-lang becomes his husband in a completely separate way!
On the other hand, Shen Qingqiu has chilling recollections of Proud Immortal Demon Way’s ten chapters detailing Luo Binghe’s marriage to a Snake Demon princess. This sort of marriage is not only alien, it’s… involved.
“Will we be able to do a whole Snake Demon marriage in three days?” pipes up Zhuzhi-lang, voicing Shen Qingqiu’s exact thoughts.
Tianlang-jun waves his hand. “Sure. There’s plenty you can skip, right? It’s not like all the hunting is required. And it’s probably fine if you don’t have an entourage. More intimate that way, in fact!”
Shen Qingqiu is already making mental preparations. Ah well, it’s not the most ridiculous wife plot he’s found himself entangled in. In fact, it probably won’t even be all that humiliating! Just… violent! And tiring!
Meanwhile, Zhuzhi-lang looks even more embarrassed than before, if possible. He trails behind Shen Qingqiu and Tianlang-jun, dragging his feet against the wooden floor. Sensing that prolonged exposure to Tianlang-jun might do more harm than good in this scenario, Shen Qingqiu hurriedly expresses all the required obsequious thank-yous and calls Zhuzhi-lang after him as he walks away just fast enough not to be rude.
-
“I was not expecting that solution,” says Zhuzhi-lang finally as he climbs onto Xiu Ya behind Shen Qingqiu. He coils his arms around Shen Qingqiu’s waist, snug but not suffocating. It’s kind of cute how awkward he is about it—even more so now, it seems, than on the ride over.
“What solution was Xizhi-lang expecting?” hums Shen Qingqiu, half paying attention. They lift off the ground easily; Zhuzhi-lang’s arms tighten. Oh, how glad Shen Qingqiu is that Luo Binghe can’t see them right now.
Zhuzhi-lang is silent for a moment. Finally, he says quietly, “I never expected to get married.”
Shen Qingqiu almost wants to chuckle—is it really so different now that it’s no longer just a spiritual marriage? —but then the weight of what they’ve been required to do sets in fully. Zhuzhi-lang has no emotional tie to the act of a human marriage, beyond what he knows of human stories. A Snake Demon marriage is different. If Zhuzhi-lang had been a pure-blooded Shake Demon, one day, he might have fallen in love and undergone a ritual much like that which he’s about to do with Shen Qingqiu. This opportunity represents a rite that, to Zhuzhi-lang, has always felt either unattainable or completely forbidden.
“Do you want to?” asks Shen Qingqiu.
“If Master Shen wills it.”
“I mean… would you rather, ah, sleep with me, or marry me?”
Zhuzhi-lang starts. But then, with a smile in his voice, he responds: “A true marriage—a Snake Demon marriage—would be an honor beyond belief. But if one solution is easier for Master Shen than the other, or if one would be more acceptable to Luo Binghe…”
Of course a demon marriage would be more acceptable! Shen Qingqiu’s read Proud Immortal Demon Way; marrying more than one person is totally okay, but heaven forbid another man fuck one of Luo Binghe’s most important wives! Ah… not that he’s a wife, haha. And Airplane was pretty inconsistent about exactly how possessive Binghe was… but that doesn’t really matter now. Right now, he needs to make a decision.
“Let’s get married,” he says, and tries to sound authoritative about it. “And if that doesn’t work, then we can do… the other solution.”
Zhuzhi-lang nods, a smile spreading across his face.
-
The first thing to do when they get back to Qing Jing Peak is, of course, to make a plan.
Snake Demon marriages usually happen over the course of seven days, but after consulting a few anthropology books, Shen Qingqiu determines that they can knock it down to three without much consequence. Well… two, really. Because it’s almost sunset by now, and it seems that Zhuzhi-lang was actually brought back to life yesterday. This means that the two of them have tonight, all of tomorrow, and part of the day after. During that time, as per tradition, they’ll have to spend pretty much every moment together, never straying too far out of sight or ignoring each other for too long. Zhuzhi-lang is good company, so this isn’t as taxing as it could be.
The most important part of the first six days of a Snake Demon marriage is the hunt. Together, Shen Qingqiu and Zhuzhi-lang must track down and kill fifty different species of fauna and drink their blood together. Originally it was a hundred, but Shen Qingqiu had quickly cut that number down to the lowest he could find in any book. It was bad enough that they needed fifty, but the fact that each had to be a different species is way too much! Can’t he and Zhuzhi-lang demonstrate the power of their bond by asserting their dominance over, like, a hundred chickens??
Ah, well, it is what it is. And, fortunately, Zhuzhi-lang could not have found a better person to help him track creatures. Not only does Shen Qingqiu have vast knowledge of magical beasts—he’s also a pro at counting and tracking things! Peak Lord skills!!
In the woeful absence of Microsoft Excel, Shen Qingqiu takes a notebook, pen, and plenty of illumination talismans, and heads down the mountain with Zhuzhi-lang.
“Won’t we know if we’ve caught something twice?” asks Zhuzhi-lang as they walk side by side. Forest surrounds them, but the carefully-cultivated woods of Cang Qiong Mountain are not the best place to find wild animals.
“It’s still good to keep a record. Some species can look very similar. Besides, if we’re continuing this over multiple days, we might forget what we found the day before. Or how many we found.”
Zhuzhi-lang nods. “Perhaps we could start with the lake at the bottom of the mountain.”
A lake is a perfect idea. To speed up the journey, Shen Qingqiu pulls out Xiu Ya, and the two of them fly silently down.
After about a minute in the air, the System, of all things, pops up in front of Shen Qingqiu with a loud ding. Only years and years of practice keeping his composure prevent him from toppling straight off his sword.
[ Mission begin: ~ The Couple that Slays Together, Stays Together! ~ Blood Consumed: 0/50 ]
Shen Qingqiu breathes a sigh of relief. Screw Excel, he’s got a much better system here! But, a moment later, he notices what must have activated the System: a lone egret flying low over the trees. Glancing at Zhuzhi-lang, he sees his companion has spotted it as well. His eyes are narrowed, and his nails dig into Shen Qingqiu’s sides.
“I’ll get it,” says Shen Qingqiu. He raises his hand and shoots a blast of spiritual energy at the egret. The bird crumples immediately, wings folding into itself as it plummets towards the ground.
They find it caught in a bush, its body still warm. Shen Qingqiu inspects the egret for a minute before handing it to Zhuzhi-lang.
“How much blood do we need to drink?” he asks him.
Zhuzhi-lang looks at the bird in his hands with mild curiosity, as if he’s never seen an egret this close up before. It’s funny how calm he appears—Shen Qingqiu, by contrast, can feel his heart pumping a bit faster than normal with the adrenaline from the kill.
“There’s no specified amount. As long as you drink some.”
He carefully holds the bird’s breast to his mouth. Shen Qingqiu hears the soft tearing of flesh, but it looks more like Zhuzhi-lang is kissing it than feeding on it, especially with the way his tongue darts out to lap up the blood from the wound. A moment later, he pulls away, licks his red lips with that beautiful tongue of his, and wordlessly passes the bird to Shen Qingqiu.
Oh no. Shen Qingqiu can see why this is a marriage ritual.
When he bends his head to the bleeding cut, a softer ding from the System alerts him that he’s consumed the blood of one out of the required fifty creatures. Progress!
It tastes like chicken blood. He gulps down the bare minimum—there’ll be plenty more where that came from. Somehow, it’s impossible to forget that he’s pressing his lips to the same place where Zhuzhi-lang’s were seconds ago. An indirect kiss? Hmm, maybe it would be easier if Zhuzhi-lang took more blood, and Shen Qingqiu licked it out of his mouth? Just so he wouldn’t have to drink straight from the bird corpse, of course… it’s unsanitary, you know!
“Master Shen,” says Zhuzhi-lang quietly, and Shen Qingqiu realizes he’s been staring at him. Slowly, shyly, Zhuzhi-lang reaches out his hand, tilts Shen Qingqiu’s chin up, and swipes the tip of his thumb across his bottom lip. It comes away red.
“Thanks,” murmurs Shen Qingqiu. He licks his lips and looks back down at the dead egret, but not too soon to see Zhuzhi-lang’s long tongue flick out and lick away the blood on his finger.
Though the rules of the ritual state that the couple must use only the blood of the animals they catch, there’s nothing that says they can’t give the rest of their prey to others. Shen Qingqiu stuffs the egret in a qiankun pouch lined with preservation talismans—he’ll let his disciples take their picks of everything later, to cook with or to use in other creative ways.
As suspected, the lake is a lucrative hunting ground. Zhuzhi-lang transforms into a huge snake and dives underwater, resurfacing with fish after fish held gently in his jaws. After he’s gathered about a dozen, the two of them sit on the shore and pass the fish back and forth one by one. The System doesn’t count every fish towards its blood tally, suggesting that some of them are the same species. Shen Qingqiu is glad he didn’t have to bring down a wildlife guidebook or something to make sure they’re actually getting the required diversity. He’s also glad to be starting in the realm of animals that are actually edible. Most of the fish look like various species of carp, with an eel and a catfish thrown in for variety, plus a bright pink fish that he vaguely remembers has some sort of medicinal properties. He’ll have to save that one for Mu Qingfang.
When they seem to have exhausted the diversity of the fish population, Shen Qingqiu follows Zhuzhi-lang as he prowls around the edges of the lake. They easily learn to work as a team: Zhuzhi-lang has a superior sense of smell, letting him sniff out hidden or sleeping creatures, and Shen Qingqiu’s cultivation allows him to quickly incapacitate their prey from afar. In his snake form, Zhuzhi-lang also has heat-sensitive vision, which is not only useful but pretty damn cool. Using this combined method, in the next few hours, they manage to catch fifteen more animals around the lake and in the surrounding forest, from common-variety turtles to Proud Immortal Demon Way natives like the Variegated Bat-Salamander—and even, to Shen Qingqiu’s delight, a phosphorescent Jade Pangolin, plodding along in the dark. That’ll make a great gift for Liu Qingge—armor made with the scales is supposed to be especially resistant to magical attacks. He feels kind of bad killing something so docile, but hey, at least pangolins aren’t endangered here like they are back in Shen Qingiqu’s world. Proud Immortal Demon Way’s neverending supply of “rare” creatures may be bad worldbuilding, but at least it means Shen Qingqiu doesn’t have to worry about monster conservationism.
It’s funny, he thinks as he bites into yet another terrible-tasting frog that he had to triple-check wasn’t poisonous, that this is the price for Zhuzhi-lang’s life. Fifty other lives. Sure, it’s a price he’ll pay quite readily—especially as he’s making sure their prey won’t go to waste—but it’s kind of weird to think about. Ah well, he’s chosen this path for Binghe’s sake. And clearly the ritual means something to Zhuzhi-lang. That’s important too. Plus, it means he doesn’t have to sleep with him!
A much more interesting observation he makes over the course of the night—it turns out that animal blood does not have a uniform taste! Or color, for that matter: some is darker, some is brighter, and the shades of red vary. The strangest-tasting blood comes, as one would expect, from the creatures that Airplane made up. By far the weirdest is the Jade Pangolin, whose blood is bright red but tastes like sweetened matcha? That’s the only time Shen Qingqiu takes more blood from a creature than Zhuzhi-lang does—if he closes his eyes and pretends it’s a latte or something, it’s pretty tasty. This definitely wasn’t mentioned in any of the bestiaries he’s poured over; when he gets back to his peak, he’ll have some updating to do!
As an immortal cultivator and a part-Heavenly Demon, they could certainly have worked through the whole night if they chose to. But, as the pickings become slimmer and slimmer, eventually they decide to head back and rest.
“How many did we catch?” asks Zhuzhi-lang as they fly up the mountain atop Xiu Ya.
Shen Qingqiu steals a glance at the System window. “Twenty-three. A little less than half what we need. I decided to keep track in my head after all,” he says cooly, “as I decided that counting on paper would hinder our pace.”
Zhuzhi-lang smiles. “Master Shen’s memory is incredible.”
“Tomorrow, we’ll go deeper into the forest—a different ecosystem means we’ll find more new fauna.”
Shen Qingqiu’s already dreaming of what monsters they might encounter. Should he make a map of habitats to cross-reference? Maybe write up a list of the species he most expects to see in a given area? Though productive, today yielded few truly exciting catches. Shen Qingqiu’s supposed to be the monster guy—shouldn’t he put his knowledge to good use?! He’ll bring some kiwis to tempt a Sharp-Horned Ferret out of its burrow, or a bamboo flute to summon a horde of Burning Teardrop Sun-Swallows. This might be the last chance he’ll have for a while to truly nerd out about all this stuff! He needs to go look through all his bestiaries again…
But what actually happens when Shen Qingqiu and Zhuzhi-lang return to the bamboo house is this: Shen Qingqiu makes a beeline for the bed. He’s an old man, okay! He needs his rest!
Zhuzhi-lang makes to sit on the floor, but Shen Qingqiu grabs the end of his robe and tugs him gently back towards the bed. Zhuzhi-lang worked hard today, too! It’s just too pathetic to see him like that—Shen Qingqiu simply can’t let him sleep anywhere but the coziest spot in the house!
“What happened to staying together, Xizhi-lang?” he murmurs, eyelids drooping.
Zhuzhi-lang’s eyes widen. “Master Shen, my skin is very cold. I would not wish discomfort—”
“No discomfort. This master will keep you warm.” After all, it’s no good for a snake to sleep out in the cold!
Zhuzhi-lang pauses for a second longer, then shuffles in beside Shen Qingqiu, laying flat on his back and pulling the covers up to his chin. Shen Qingqiu gives him a little smile. Sure, they might not be having sex, but if they are to be a married couple, it’s completely appropriate for them to sleep together in the non-euphamistic sense! Besides, friends share beds all the time. It’s no more than another kindness on Shen Qingqiu’s part.