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it was the way it irked him, had david itching at his neck even when there was nothing irritating it on the surface. he needed something to scratch even when it wasn't there physically. it was painful, annoying even. days passed and he got frustrated.
what he wanted to itch was a sensation that lurked deeper than the surface, feelings and sensations that were forever ago buried. he thought he had killed it, well he had killed most of it. but the feelings that you hold deep for someone that you truly loved never do go away. they morph into other feelings other than love. anger, sadness, confusion, desperation, loneliness.
loss.
he remembered the last time he had seen them two or three years ago. he had hated quinn, wondered why in the ever living hell they would pay him a single thought. and they had gotten into a feud that day which resulted in david never seeing them again until they supposedly left for washington.
now david knows. now he realises. he realised that there was a longing in their eyes, or maybe he's now thinking that because he wanted it to be real so badly. but he knows for sure that he saw a hope diminish as soon as he turned them down, wounds too fresh from the loss he had suffered a few years prior that made it impossible to let them in, at least not completely.
"why should i listen to you?!"
now david realises that he shouldn't have came from the angle of the pack alpha. he shouldn't have forced them to stay just because he was in charge. that was one reason, but he was their friend first. someone who cared and wanted the best for them. he should have said he cared. but he never did. and they left.
david stared at them from a distance. it seems that he was always watching them from the distance. it was a punishment, he assumed. to be so close to see them, but too far to hold them. it made a lump in his throat form.
the itch was still present on his neck. it grew more irritating the more he looked at them. it dug deeper and deeper, until it flushed into his body. sadness, but happiness, overwhelmed him. the happiness was relief, relief that they were finally happy again. and the sadness was a feeling that came with the relief. he sighed. they smiled at their new companion, a vampire named sam. he saw how he looked at them and saw how he acted around them. sam cared for them, and he was the next person they let close to them. and most importantly, he told them how much he cared about them.
david knew he had no right to feel sad. he was the one who let them go, not knowing what it meant when he let them be. he felt someone beside him and he turned around, angel standing beside him, smiling gently, telling him to follow them. he couldn’t help but feel guilty, that now that he had everything he could possibly want, he still wanted them. he felt selfish, cruel, how can someone possibly feel this way to another who isn’t their partner? but then david came to realise, slowly, and pieced it together by himself that they were still a precious piece of his life. he came to cherish them as his first love and realised it was nothing more than that. they will always be special to him, but now he had someone else to cherish and love. this time, david knows now to hold everything and everyone he has dearly. to love fully and not partially. he will never let angel go.
he gave them one last glance and smiled softly. breathing in, he let the itch go. and let tank go in the process.