Work Text:
#36 Sordid
After all the wrong things he had done, the bad, shameful secrets he kept, the numerous affairs he had engineered, nothing made Wilson feel as dirty as he did when House discovered Chase in their bed.
#8 Whisky and Rum
Wilson desperately wished he could blame the whisky and rum but even through the haze; he could recognize Chase’s taste (it felt like coming home) and knew he could not lie to himself any more.
#42 Neutral
“Drugs don’t make me high, they make me neutral,” House proclaimed but personally thought that being neutral was no use if you could not even tell you were being cuckolded.
#43 Nuance
Every inch of Chase’s face was becoming familiar fast and yet, for all its prettiness, it could not completely replace House’s in his mind.
#1 Walking
His first memory of life itself was walking, or rather trying to and his mother following his every move, his safeguard before a fall but he could not return the favour when needed.
#12 Blessing
It was both a blessing and a curse to have a photographic memory as House could recall every touch, gentle slide of hands and soft lips, hard thrust but then he stopped himself and swore because he could not remember the last time Wilson said, “I love you.”
#40 Solitary
“Sex was never meant to be a solitary activity, you know?” Wilson purred, trailing kisses and lies with one breath and Chase finally knew what it felt like to be seduced by the devil – consumed.
#24 Quarrel
It was weird, House mused, that Wilson and he squabbled over unimportant, trivial matters but when it really mattered, Wilson could and did just turn and walk away, no fight necessary.
#26 Jump
“You say ‘Jump’ and I ask ‘How high’, is that how this relationship’s supposed to be?” Wilson raged while House held, well bit his tongue, really and refrained from saying, “Is that what you asked Chase to do?”
#28 Jousting
Lately, their verbal tennis matches had a sour and off undertone with every second word having a double and darker meaning and House, if he tried, could actually pinpoint the start of this – when Chase returned from his vacation.
#29 Jewel
House thought Wilson’s eyes twinkled like brilliantly cut diamonds but all the diamonds in the world could not disguise the blackness in his heart when he saw that same light shine on Chase as well.
#3 Stupidity
Chase had the most absurd thought that maybe if he and House were to sleep together, he might like Chase better, then he shook his head and continued mapping out Wilson’s body with his tongue.
#14 Burning
The knowledge that he could and had cheated on House was a slow burn in his heart, making him speculate if this was not Wilson’s first time doing so.
#30 Just
House did not know if sleeping with Chase would be a perfect revenge but it was too late now to change his mind as he was already in Chase, moving like his life depended on it; maybe it did.
#35 Sarcasm
House’s brand of sarcasm was like a knife, cutting through lies and fabrications, leaving the debris lying where they may, Wilson’s was understated but sharp, like being stabbed in the back and only noticing when you collapse, dying; Chase, on the other hand had no need for sarcasm, just a thick skin of defense.
#9 War
The battle lines were being drawn; sides were being chosen and in the middle stood Chase, a human tug-of-war like so many years ago, history repeating itself, world without end, amen.
#6 Whimsy
He loved summer, the blazing hot sun, the carefree moments, the welcome breeze but then night fell and he was all alone again.
#10 Weddings
It was a celebration of love, commitment, two lives entwining into one and still Wilson could not tear his eyes away from House all through his three weddings; it was only his fourth that he managed to do so, landing on Chase in the process.
#16 Breaking
House wanted to throw things, howl with rage, shatter the objects lining his desk and pausing, deflating, realized what would be the point, it was too late, he had been battered beyond hope lifetimes ago.
#5 Worry
That carefree bastard were all three thoughts.
#46 Horizon
Wilson gazed at the horizon - the point where eventually all lines and hopefully lives would meet - and wondered when he became such a fucking poet?
#3 Wishes
If wishes were horses, his mama would always say and House whispered, “I know, Mama,” before tucking daffodils – her favourite – into her cold, powdered hands.
#39 Share
House could not share Wilson, Wilson was fine with sharing Chase and Chase did not want to be shared – a stalemate, if any.
#41 Nowhere
They got nowhere fast, unable to resolve to a satisfactory conclusion but Wilson was happy, in his element, doing what he did best – juggling two affairs at a time.
#38 Sojourn
It all began on a trip and wasn’t it ironic and coming full circle that Wilson and Chase began that way too?
#21 Quiet
House wondered aloud when did the emptiness of his home unsettled him and the spaces where Wilson’s things once stood were answer enough.
#44 Near
They were standing inches apart from the other, a triumvirate of unholy alliances with an ocean of differences, hate, change, jealousy, love, lust between them and none knew how to bridge that chasm, none wanted to.
#49 Victory
Victory would be bringing Wilson to his knees, begging for forgiveness but House no longer had the power or will to do so.
#15 Breathing
House was a dead man walking and no one was aware of it but him.
#18 Balloon
He remembered his mom bringing his siblings and him to the park to release brightly coloured balloons and along with them, their fears, insecurities, worries and grudges and Wilson knew it would take a truckload of them to free this weight off his shoulders now.
#20 Bane
They were in love with their colleague but none of them knew who they were referring to.
#23 Question
“To cheat or not to cheat, that is the ultimate question for you, is it not?” House sniped sarcastically and Wilson’s tightlipped, pinched chagrined, embarrassed look answered adequately.
#45 Natural
Wilson reflects that curling into Chase’s side post-coital was different from curling into House’s yet to him, both felt right and the same.
#25 Quitting
The day Wilson left was emblazoned on his mind, leaving House, an addict, jonesing, without his drug.
#7 Waste / Wasteland
It was a pity none of them was interested in a threesome despite them entertaining similar fantasies.
#11 Birthday
House hated birthdays – all they did was make one older but wisdom never did come as scheduled.
#17 Belief
He was Catholic, he knew how it worked – sin, confess, absolution, repeat again – but Chase also knew now the futility of breaking the cycle that was one James Wilson.
#31 Smirk
Their smirks were like two halves of a whole, neither one wholly good nor bad; and Chase could not decide which he liked better.
#48 Virtuous
“Since when did you develop virtues?” Wilson sneered and House’s reply, “Nice to meet you too, Mr. Pot,” only fanned Wilson’s unjustified righteousness even more.
#19 Balcony
The balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet always got to him and made Chase fervently hope that life did not imitate art this time – the ending was tragic.
#22 Quirks
Cheating and lying were considered quirks, were they not, thought Wilson and figured it was easier to forgive quirks than moral sins.
#27 Jester
“Life’s like a box of –,” House began but Wilson cut him short, “Stop! You had me at ‘life’,” and they laughed, a snapshot of happier times gone past.
#13 Bias
Chase had never liked his surname; it felt predestined that he would never get what he wanted.
#2 Waltz
He wanted to tear the dancing wedding couple apart, grab Wilson and shake some sense into his lover but before he could step forward, Chase was already two fucking steps ahead of him.
#50 Defeat
Custer’s last stand was his last thought before he braced himself and opened his bedroom door.
#4 Wonder
The wonder that had been Dr. Gregory House was now a broken, lost, unsure man and he had Wilson to thank for that.
# 34 Serenade
The slow, heart wrenching tunes of Massive Attack could always soothe Chase’s soul but this time, it only emphasized his loneliness and the differences between House and Wilson.
#47 Valiant
There was no one to defend; no dragon to valiantly fight against for the dragon was in his castle, in his bed, in his heart.
#37 Soliloquy
House's thoughts were running through his mind, replaying scenes, conversations, gestures, tones again and again, like Steve McQueen in his wheel, a relentless cycle, never going anywhere.
#32 Sorrow
There could be no quick answer to this question, no easy solution to this problem.