Chapter Text
Lexi Howard thought that she had most of her life pretty planned out. As planned out as one could have their life, that is. She knew the unexpected could happen. Her best friend could OD again, her father could turn up out of nowhere, or Cassie could run completely off the rails that she was barely holding onto.
She left room for spontaneity. Like with her play. Writing it and actually getting to put it on. A year ago she wouldn’t have dared to do something like this.
So yeah, she didn’t have everything planned out, but she liked to think she kept things in a specific balance of possibility. For example, her play was exactly in that realm of possibility. It was something she had lingering in the back of her mind as she spent years observing, dreaming, imagining. It wasn’t like the thought came out of nowhere; it was right inside her realm of possibility. However, the spontaneity came out of her actually producing it. That was taking guts she didn’t know she had. Her moving to New York, becoming a famous playwright by 30, having 3 kids, and settling down with her idea of a perfect husband, also in her perceived realm of possibilities.
What was not at all in Lexi’s realm of possibilities, what took her by surprise more than most things had in her life, was Fezco.
Lexi was an avid observer, which meant that not much within her circle of peers went out of her radar. She knew when Rue was using again, she knew Nate was abusive to Maddy, she knew Cassie didn’t really care as long as he still chose her, but what she didn’t know was how Fezco ended up being the most considerate boy her age she had yet to meet.
Become friends and possibly have a crush on the local drop-out drug dealer, not exactly within Lexi’s plan, not even her realm of possibilities.
This was out of left field. This was the act of the play she didn’t even know was written. It was off script. It was new. It was exciting.
What she enjoyed most about this situation with Fez was how open he was to talking about things most of her male peers never spoke about.
“What was the last movie that made you cry?” she asked him late one night while they were on the phone.
“Cry, watchu mean cry?” he joked defensively.
“Come on, you haven’t cried at a movie?” she laughed.
“Aight, I don’ remember, probably some Titanic shit, you know what I’m sayin’?”
“Yeah, that's a sad one, especially when she drops the necklace in the water.”
“Yeah it had me teary eyed for sure.” Lexi laughed at the thought.
“What bout you Lexi Howard?”
“Oh, um, probably Marley and Me.” She smiled shyly into her phone.
“You mean the one wit the dog?” His attention was completely on her.
“Yeah that one.”
“Oh that shit was sad as fuck. How you just be watchin’ that all casual like?” He asked.
“I don’t know.” She laughed. “It was just on and once I started watching I couldn’t stop, you know?”
“I get you, I be like that sometimes too.” he responded, a softness to his voice and Lexi grinned into her pillow.
She’d never expected the guy who sold all her peers drugs to be this conversational and sweet, but she loved it nonetheless.
He was cute she admitted to herself after seeing him at the shop again, this time without the presence of Cal Jacobs. He had greeted her just the same, tentative smile on his face, eyes locked on her, with a drawled out “Lexi Howard. How you doin’?”
His eyes were beautiful.
Okay, so maybe she thought he was a little more than cute. She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something wrapped up in Fez that had her absolutely flustered when they were around each other.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” She asked one day while sitting on his couch. The crocheted blanket wrapped around her legs as she faced him. He was a small distance away on the other side, a mostly smoked joint fading out in his hand. He took a hit and raised his eyebrow to her.
“Like what?” His deep blue eyes locked on her.
“How’d you get that scar on your head?” Lexi was unsure if this was pushing something too far, but she was genuinely curious about the reason.
When Fez looked down at the blunt in his hand she got nervous and said “You don’t have to answer that, I was just curious…”
“Nah, you good.” He smirked up at her. “People’ve asked me that before. Usually they be thinkin’ it was some sorta hard shit I got into.”
“But it wasn’t?”
“Nah. It was me doin’ some dumbass shit.” He laughed. “I ever tell you I use to help my grandma out with the business before she got sick?”
“No, you haven’t told me that.” Lexi was completely lost in the idea of learning more about Fez’s past.
“Well, back then I was her partner, she taught me how to do everything. So I started comin’ with her on some of her deals. Doin the calculations and what not.” He started.
“Was it scary?” She asked shyly.
“Nah, I knew she got my back. Anyway, this one guy owed some money, also was involved with why Ashtray got here. She got a lead that he was gunna be hangin’ round this donut shop, so she figured she go down and put him in his place, you know what i’m sayin’.” He took a long drag from his joint.
“This time tho, I don’ exactly know why, but I was feelin mad apprehensive bout what she was bout to do and got in her way bad. Ended up hittin’ me with a crowbar on accident while trying to hit the other guy. Knocked my small ass out, for real.” He laughed despite the shocked look on Lexi’s face.
“Wait, seriously? But what happened to you after that?” Lexi hated that she was so curious, but she hoped Fez didn’t mind the invasion. He didn’t seem to.
“That's the part that be real blurry.” He let out a smooth exhale of smoke.
“You don’t remember?” She asked innocently.
“Don’ remember a ton of shit from round that time. Know for sure I had bout twenty staples in my skull. Couldn’t calculate shit for while, which be real bad for business you know.” He paused for a while, seemingly trying to recall past memories.
Lexi took the opportunity to inspect his scar from afar. It was gnarly, long and crescent shaped, hooking towards his left eye. She remembers noticing it for the first time and wondering what dangerous thing could’ve caused it. Knowing what she knew now, there was something about the scar that made him even more endearing than she thought he was before. He got it trying to protect his grandma, which is exactly what Fez is, a protector. Fez was a patchwork of uniqueness that drew her in and kept her wondering.
“Remember gettin’ some real bad headaches. Like nothin’ I’d ever felt before, for real, could barely even open my eyes was so bad. Think that was when I started smokin’ weed now I thinkin’ bout it.” He put his now finished joint out on the ashtray on the table.
“It helped with the headaches or…?”
“Yeah, only thing that helped me see straight.”
“Do you still get them?” She asked after a minute.
“Damn Lexi, you the only person who ever asked me this many questions bout myself.” He smiled at her and her stomach flipped.
“Sorry.” She looked down at her hands in her lap, picking apart her nail polish.
“Nah, don’ be sorry, it’s nice. Ain’t no one ever this interested in what I gotta say.” His eyes were soft on hers.
“I like what you have to say.” She said softly.
He gave a small laugh and looked the other way and she could’ve sworn there was a slight pink tint to his cheeks, but maybe it was just the light.
“So, do you still get them, the headaches?” She asked shyly, still wondering.
“Yah sometimes they be comin’ back, but they ain’t so bad now.”
“I’m glad.” She smiled widely at him, and she thought she saw his eyes dip down to her lips for just a moment, but sure they probably didn’t.
From then on Lexi experienced a few of Fez’s headaches. He seemed to really try to cover it up when it was bothering him. He’d speak a little less often, rub his hand over his scar a lot, and keep his eyes closed when he could.
The first time she realized something was up he didn’t want to admit that anything was wrong, but she cajoled him into telling her. She didn’t know exactly how to help, but she offered him ibuprofen which he then told her sadly had no effect on the pain. Instead he asked her if she minded if he smoked. He always asked her if she cared about him smoking, which she thought was sweet, even though she never did. Especially in this circumstance.
It was the fifth or sixth time Lexi was with Fez when he experienced one of these bad headaches and she expected him to pull out a joint.
“Nah, we don’ got nothin’ here right now.”
“Oh.” She said sadly, not knowing what else to offer.
They were sitting on his couch, Little House On the Prairie was playing in the background. They had made it to season four at this point and Lexi had to admit she was enjoying it, but enjoying Fez’s reactions better.
“Sure you don’t wanna try the ibuprofen?” She asked, looking to her left at him. His head rest on the back of the couch, his eyes were closed.
“Guess it couldn’ hurt nothin’” He conceded.
She got up and went to the kitchen, grabbing him a glass of water and the ibuprofen. She sat down closer to him now and gently opened his hand placing the ibuprofen in his palm. He opened his eyes and tossed them in his mouth, she then handed him the water.
“Thank you Lexi, you the best.” He looked at her with those sweet eyes and she could tell how tired he seemed.
“You can lay down, you know, if you’re tired.” He didn’t seem to know how to reply, like he was uncomfortable at the thought of sleeping near her, like he had to be on guard still.
“Here.” She said as she moved over and placed her palm on her lap, indicating he could lay there. It was a leap of faith, but she figured she might as well take it.
“You sure?” He seemed as apprehensive as a person with a splitting headache could be.
“Of course, yeah if you want to, maybe it would help?” She suggested smiling hopefully at him.
Truthfully she couldn’t stand the idea that he was in pain and she couldn’t be helpful. She was always the helpful one, always taking care of someone. It was stuck in her now, and she felt helpless watching someone she cared for be in pain and not being able to help.
She could’ve offered to just go home. Maybe she should’ve and just let him figure it out on his own. He was a grown man with his own means. But there was something about seeing him this way that made Lexi desperate to help soothe his pain. Plus, it was raining outside and she wanted to prolong the wet bike ride home, preferring Fez’s warm couch, crocheted blanket, and soothing presence.
To her surprise he pushed himself up to a sitting position and then slowly brought his head down to lay on her lap, facing the tv. His shoulders right up against her leg. The warmth radiating from him spread to that entire side of her body. She let herself relax down into the couch, and he adjusted with her, letting out a deep sigh; his eyes were still closed.
After a minute or two she brought her right hand to his head, running her fingers lightly through the short hair there. She felt him take a deep breath, and she was scared she was making it worse.
“Is.. is this okay? Am I making it worse?” Her hand froze.
He shook his head just slightly. “Nah, ‘s nice Lex.” He mumbled.
“Okay.” She whispered, smiling to herself as she continued her movements. He sighed deeply and her other hand rested itself on his shoulder at her side. He moved his hand up and took hold of the one on his shoulder, threading his fingers through his and resting them on his chest. Her heart was racing a bit, but she also felt so unbelievably calm.
Looking down at Fez, his legs curled up on the couch, body tucked towards hers, hand holding hers, eyes peacefully closed, she couldn’t see a trace of the drug dealing life he led. Besides the scar on the left side of his head.
With her middle finger she gently traced the line of it arching down toward his ear. A shiver ran down his shoulders and he grabbed her hand a little tighter, letting out a subtle groan. She grinned at that, letting her hand move toward massaging the rest of his head lightly.
With Fez most likely asleep on her lap now, breath and heart rate evened out she realized how much she was glad that he was alive and here with her. That this scar had allowed him to live. It also solidified a little more fear in her for the life he lived.
An hour or two later Fez woke back up and she was brought out of her own light dozing. He sat up, untangling their hands and they both just giggled at each other.
“Damn Lexi, you like a doctor or some shit I swear.” He grinned rubbing the back of his head and looked over at her.
“Oh, thanks, did it help? Like at all?” She laughed, her fingers twisting in her lap.
“Best sleep of my life, no lie. Feels like I ain’t never even had a headache in my life.” She laughed sweetly at his soothed expression.
She was happy to have helped him and it was worth it to have him as close as he was.
As they pulled up in front of her house she gathered that fearless courage of hers. Reaching over into his seat she brought her hand to the side of his face and her lips to his opposite temple. She pressed a gentle kiss there, then broke away before she could lose all courage.
“Have a nice night Fez.” She said sweetly before grabbing her bike from his back seat and walking up to her house.
“You too Lexi.” He spoke, and as she turned around to smile back at him, his hand was touching his temple just slightly. She smiled to herself when she turned back around, happy with the effect she had on him.
Maybe not everything needed to be planned or in her perceived realm of possibility. Maybe she was okay going far off the script she gave her life. It was exciting, especially with him.