Chapter Text
Percy paced back and forth in his apartment, practicing his speech for Annabeth. He wasn’t sure how she would react to his recent revelation, but he had hope that she’d love him through it. He had hope that she’d be by his side during his journey of self discovery.
Still Percy found himself increasingly nervous. Annabeth wasn’t the best with change, and he was worried this would be too much for her to handle. She’d taken their move to New Rome in stride. She eventually adjusted to the idea of not taking about Nico around Will after Will had joined them in New Rome for college. But bigger changes scared her and, for Percy, this was a pretty big change.
A knock at the door startled him out of his thoughts.
“Annie! Hey, I’m glad you’re here,” Percy smiled as he opened the door for his girlfriend.
“Hey, Percy, can we make this quick? I hate to rush you, but I have a meeting in twenty minutes I can’t miss,” Annabeth dumped her bag on a chair and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“Yeah, uh, it won’t take long. I swear.”
“Great!”
Annabeth looked up at him expectantly and he took a deep breath, his chest suddenly squeezing with anxiety. Percy fiddled with the fidget ring his mom had gotten him before he’d left for New Rome that he hasn’t taken off since. Annabeth raised an eyebrow at the movement and he snapped back into gear.
“So, um… Okay so you know how I’m taking that gender and sexuality class this semester?” She nodded. “Right, so I’ve been learning a lot about… those things. And I- I started kind of piecing some things together about myself and… well, I guess, what I’m trying to say is… I’m bisexual, and non-binary.”
The room was silent but for the sound of Annabeth’s steady breathing.
“So, what does that mean?” She finally asked.
“For me, it means that I’m attracted to any gender. And as for my own gender, I just… prefer to be excluded from gender? If that makes sense? Like, I still want to use he/him pronouns but I’d also like to start using they/them more? “ Percy explained.
“Wait so if you’re using he/him does that mean you’re still a man?”
“I mean, my sex is male. That’s not changing. But I’m not- I’m not a man, no.”
“Does this mean that- that you’re going to start, like, transitioning or whatever?” Annabeth asked, confused.
“What? No, no I’m still me, Annie. I just don’t want to be referred to as a man- or a woman for that matter. Just… Percy.”
“Percy, I don’t know what to say. I- I love you, but I don’t know if I feel comfortable dating a transgender person. It’s not what I signed up for, and what if you do want to transition or something? I don’t want to date a woman!”
“Annie, I’m not a woman! And I’m not interested in being a woman. I’m just also not interested in being a man! I’ve always felt trapped by what society has deemed acceptable for men- clothing, my hair, makeup. Like, I don’t want to be bound by being a man anymore! And in class we talked about being non-binary and it all just… clicked! I can exist outside of that and just be me. And that’s what I want, Annie. I just want to feel comfortable in my own body, and my own existence!”
“Percy I can’t do that! I’m not, like, homophobic or anything. I just don’t think I can be in a… gay relationship. Are you totally sure this is the right decision for you? For us?” Annabeth asked.
“Annie, it- it wasn’t a decision. I didn’t just wake up and decide to be this way! And if you don’t want to be a part of a queer relationship, then that’s fine. I was just… I was just expecting things to go differently. But… okay. If you can’t deal with my gender, then that’s on you, not me.”
“So that’s it then? You’re throwing away almost six years together for this?”
“This? You mean ME? Annabeth I just want to live my life as myself- for myself. I spent years living my life for other people, being a good little soldier. Before that, I skipped around to different schools and, in between, spent my time being abused by my stepdad. College has been great for trying to figure myself out, but the first three years were so crazy packed with shit for classes and activities and studying that I didn’t even have time to think about me. It’s our last semester- all I’ve got left are these couple of credits and a lot of surprise free time. I finally, for the first time in almost twenty-two years, have the chance to figure myself out. So yes. If you don’t want to be in a relationship with a gender nonconforming person, then I guess I am throwing it all away for THIS!”
Percy had tears streaming down his red cheeks and a wild look in his eyes as his chest heaved. Annabeth watched him catch his breath, but didn’t say anything. She just rose from her seat at the dining room table, collected her bag and sunglasses, and made for the door.
“I have to get to my meeting. Goodbye, Percy.”
~
“Hello?”
The Iris Message was dark, but Percy could vaguely make out the green glow of Greek fire in the Hades Cabin and the outline of its one resident.
“Nico?” Percy sniffled.
“Ugh, hold on,” Nico grumbled.
A second later the light flicked on and Nico came back into view. Percy took in the dark bags under the younger man’s eyes and the way his face looked alarmingly thin.
“What’s up?” Nico asked, rubbing his eyes.
Percy sniffled again, trying to hold back another barrage of tears, but was unsuccessful. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a quiet sob, causing Nico’s eyes to dart up and look at him.
“Percy? What’s happened? Are you okay?” Nico sounded panicked. He’d never seen Percy cry before.
“Annabeth broke up with me,” Percy sobbed.
“What? Did something happen?”
“I- Nico I… I told her something about me that she didn’t like. And she just left. I mean, we argued, but she left me.”
“What did you tell her that she didn’t already know, Perc?” Nico asked, trying to lighten the mood.
“If I tell you will you promise to still be my friend?”
Nico nodded.
“Okay, I- I’m non-binary. It’s still new, and I’m not totally used to saying it yet, but it’s right,” Percy admitted.
“Oh. Okay. Is that all?”
Percy shook his head. “I’m also bi.”
“Okay. Thank you for telling me, Percy. I’ll be honest, I don’t completely understand what non-binary means, but I’ll figure it out, okay? I’ll do some research so I can understand better. Can I ask, which of those things did Annabeth freak out about?” Nico kept his voice soft, and Percy cried in relief.
“The gender part,” Percy whispered.
“Well, respectfully, fuck that. You deserve to just get to be you, Percy. Oh! Um, pronouns? That’s a thing I should ask about, right?”
Percy let out a surprised laugh. “Yeah, I guess. Uh, he/him is still fine, but also they/them. Like, I’ll let you know if there’s a time I prefer one over the other, but, uh, yeah.”
“Cool. Uh, me too. He/him, I mean. They/them I guess would also not be incorrect, I suppose. But, he/him is fine,” Nico replied.
Percy sniffled and wiped his hands across his cheeks. “Thanks, Nico. You’re the only person I’ve told other than Annabeth. I- I think I’ll wait to tell my family until I get back to New York, but I just… I guess today sucked so much and something in the back of my mind told me to talk to you about it. So thank you for not hating me.”
“Percy I don’t hate you for being bi or non-binary. I hate you for calling me at three in the morning,” Nico deadpanned.
The two stared at each other for a beat of silence before erupting in a fit of giggles.
“Thanks again, Neeks. Sorry for calling you so late, but I really appreciate you. Can- can I call you again this weekend?” Percy asked.
“Gee I’ll have to fit you in between the hundreds of other people in line to talk to me… yes, Percy you can call me this weekend,” Nico joked.
Percy rolled his eyes and smiled at his friend.
“I’ll talk to you then, Nico.”
“G’night, Perce.”
Percy waved his hand through the IM and watched Nico’s face fade in front of him. He let out a breath he felt like he’d been holding for far too long and got up to go to bed. It took him awhile to fall asleep, but when he finally did, he was grateful that it was a dreamless night.