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You know, I don't think I'll ever get sick of revisiting South Island. What's not to love? Lots of open, grassy fields to run laps through; old, desolate ruins packed full of exhilarating death traps; heck, even what's left of Robotnik's old bases kinda add to the charm. Well, at least for me. Scrap Brain does stick out like a sore thumb, being a rusted wreck of an abandoned fortress wedged between two gorgeous mountains, but seeing it the way it is now makes it feel like a big, shiny trophy. I still remember that place in its prime. I can still smell that heady black exhaust pumping out of the smokestacks and see it dim the clear blue skies with clouds of smog. It's just an empty husk these days. Not that long ago, pumped out Badniks on the regular. Now, the island's natural vegetation has taken it over. You can barely see the thing through all the grapevines at some angles.
I did that. Me! Sonic the Hedgehog! And when I was just a little kid, too. Back then, my legs were too short to even do a super peel out. Now, I'm hot off the heels of zooming through space and busting up colossal mechs while being charged up by Chaos Emeralds. Pretty awesome stuff, if I do say so myself. Some people claim I've got a big ego and shouldn't brag, but can you really blame me? I just know I'm way past cool.
Seeing the remnants of Scrap Brain pass by on my jog back to Green Hill made me realize just how long it had been since I first kicked some Robuttnik. A couple years must've passed at this point. Man, things were so much simpler back then...no glowing super forms, no robot fakers, no stupid gullible red echidnas that blame me for stuff I didn't do...maybe I should thank the doc next time I see him. Everything he throws at me just makes foiling his plans for world conquest that much more exciting!
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Sonic!" The familiar voice cackled out from behind me. "Fancy seeing you here. Come to South Island to sightsee, or just want to get trampled by my Badnik army?"
Speak of the devil! I couldn't help but grin at hearing Robotnik's voice. Wherever he goes, adventure is sure to follow. Adventure that involves me knocking him and his Badniks into next Tuesday, of course. I dug my heels into the ground and skidded to a halt, turning around to look the doctor in the eye (err, glasses). He sat proudly in his Egg Mobile with his legs crossed over the windshield, smugly twirling his mustache through his fingers.
"Not to sound cliché, but you and what army? Last I checked, I personally smashed all your crappy Badniks and trashed all your factories here," I shot back at him, flicking my nose. "What brings you to South Island, Robuttnik? Come here to kickstart another robot army for me to plow through, or just here to sightsee? I don't know about you, but one of my favorite sights on the island is what's left of Scrap Brain. Reminds me of how hard I kicked your butt the first time I ruined all your plans, don't you think?"
Much to my delight, his face turned redder and redder with each word that came out of my mouth, steam rising from his ears as he grit his teeth in anger. "I told you, STOP CALLING ME ROBUTTNIK!"
"Okay, my bad. Would you rather I call you Dr. Badvibes? Ooh, or what about Nasty McRotten?"
He sat up straight and slammed his fist against the Egg Mobile's dashboard. "You will refer to me as-"
"How about Eggman? I mean, you named that thing the Egg Mobile, after all," I suggested, gesturing to his hovercraft. "There's also the Death Egg, that Egg Spinner mech you tried to squish me with on Little Planet...oh, and you! You kinda look like a giant egg, too!"
"SHUT UP!" He spat, leaning forward in his seat.
I shrugged and tapped my foot. Messing with the big guy was always fun, don't get me wrong, but I was starting to get tired of standing in one place for too long to taunt him. "You said something about an army?"
"Oh! Right." He composed himself and brushed down his collar of his ugly yellow cape. "Army may have been a bit of an exaggeration. Truth is, I've only got one Badnik with me. But!" He punctuated himself by raising his finger, "I can assure you that he's every bit as powerful as an entire fleet of Buzz Bombers, and just as fast as a whole mob of Motobugs!"
He's got such a way with words, don't you think? Of course, he talks up all the garbage he invents like this, all of which I've been able to deal with, so I didn't feel all that threatened. "Sounds cool. Where can I meet him?"
"Meet?" Robotnik chuckled and tented his hands over a malicious grin. "My boy, you two have already been introduced."
In the distance, I spotted large trails of dust rise from over the horizon path. They continued to rise, speeding towards me and following the path my morning jog had blazed. A blue blur led the trail, and I could hear the rumble of its engine as it got closer.
I'd know the sound of that engine anywhere. Metal Sonic. Sure, the doc's made plenty of robot copies of me, none of which measure up to the real deal. Out of all of them, though, Metal Sonic came the closest. Sure, Silver Sonic had tough armor and Mecha Sonic could use the Master Emerald to rip off my super form, but Metal Sonic had them both outmatched with raw speed alone. No wonder the doc made us race back on Little Planet; he even outsped me a couple of times! I still won, though.
I stretched out my legs. A race against Metal Sonic? I couldn't ask for a better start to my day. Especially when I hadn't seen the bot in a good long while. Metal Sonic swooshed past me at first, blowing sand in my eyes, before looping back around and stopping right in front of me. I rubbed the sand out of my eyes as I greeted my opponent. "Hey, Metal! Long time no-"
Before I could even finish my sentence, I had to put a fist over my mouth to stop myself from bursting into laughter.
That was Metal Sonic standing in front of me, alright. Same eerie black eyes, same jet booster torso...and same stubby little legs. Metal Sonic was a robot copy of me alright. One of me from a year and a half ago! Back on Stardust Speedway, right before our big race, I remember looking him head on as he taunted me by waving his finger back and forth. We were eye-to-eye then. I was a good half head taller than him now. Poor guy had to crank up his neck just to glare at me, mechanical joints creaking the entire way up.
Robotnik must have noticed that I was in no rush to complete my greeting to the Badnik and folded his arms, brow furrowed. "What?"
I just couldn't take it anymore. I burst out laughing, resting one hand on my knee while I pointed at the tiny robot with the other. Metal Sonic stared back at me, unmoving. Not that I was even looking at him at this point, I was cracking up so hard that my eyes were closed.
"What's so funny?" Robotnik's voice came out half-question and half-yell.
I tried to answer him, but all that came out at first was more giggles. A few deep breaths later and I finally got some words out. "Hey, Robotnik, when was the last time you updated Metal Sonic's design?"
"Update? Ridiculous! Metal Sonic is my finest creation yet, a master of engineering ingenuity! He doesn't need any updates, he's already flawless!"
"I dunno, doc, I think he falls..." I had to stop myself midsentence, otherwise a second wave of laughter would've wrecked me over, "I think he falls a little short in some places!"
Just as I succumbed to another giggling fit, Robotnik leaned forward and adjusted his glasses. He eyed up me. He eyed up Metal Sonic. A second later, he recoiled back into his seat and gasped. "No way! I can't believe this! You two were the same height back on Little Planet, I'm sure of it! How did you shrink my robot, Sonic?"
"Shrink your robot?" I think Robotnik's talents are wasted on science and robotics. He'd go much further in life as a stand-up comedian. "Oh, yeah, that's me. I just go around shrinking stuff everywhere I go with my shrinking ray. You got me."
"I KNEW IT!" He triumphantly fist pumped. "Tell me when you—"
"I outgrew Metal Sonic, doc," I clarified. "I know you don't get out much, so I'll do something extremely out of character and make this slow for you. You see, guys like me? Living, breathing hedgehogs?" I gestured up and down my body for added effect. "We don't all just stay the same size forever. Unlike the robobuddies you keep yourself company with, I can grow. After all these years, you seriously haven't noticed that I've gotten taller?"
"Be quiet! Of course I noticed that!" I didn't need a lie detector to know that Robotnik was fibbing. "It's irrelevant either way. You know what they say; size doesn't matter. My Metal Sonic will crush you in a race all the same!"
"Oh yeah?" I smirked at the Badnik and readied a super peel out. "I'd like to see you try."