Chapter Text
DOUBTING YOU BUT I ALWAYS END UP STAYING
ꕥ‿‿☘‿‿ꕥ‿‿☘‿‿ꕥ
It happened once again to the point this was now the new daily routine.
"Cya later Tae!"
Eyes watched the adorable pink-haired rush out the door and endearing stumble to put on his shoes. Dressed in angel white and pink gloss painted on his succulent lips it made him crave like lollies.
A singular figure watched from the moment they had gotten up to the moment they left in quick succession. There was nothing in between only some small chit-chat. Waking up to stare fondly at the slumbering angel who blessed him with his mere presence now felt so far away despite lying right there. When he pressed a palm to their plump rosy cheeks it felt so sentimental. As if everything had already ended and this was the last moment together.
But it wasn’t like anything happened to cause this now evident rift between them whether the other realized it or not. There was nothing substantial, it just happened over time. He wanted so badly to just spill his feelings but no time ever seemed like the right time.
Taehyung bit his lips until they were bitten a raw red, the hand that had been outstretched and waving falling to his side. The room felt stiflingly small and tense as the days went by when he was left alone. He truly wanted to say something to the male before he left but seeing how excited he was going nothing found its way out.
Why was Jimin so excited to leave Taehyung?
It was a rushed goodbye, no kisses on lips or even forehead before leaving nor an 'I love you'. Just a brief wave and a cheap goodbye attached at the end. Now that seemed half-hearted - not at all genuine and affectionate in the way he had been used to. That was all he got from his beloved boyfriend. Anything intimate and affectionate these days had gotten scarcer, and it scared him.
And he knew that his lover wouldn’t be home until late which was concerning because he was an omega. Not saying that omegas were incapable, but they usually got harassed more often. The concerns directed at him would be pushed aside with a laugh. Jimin always asked why Taehyung was still up. He smelt like detergent, different than the smell he had left in, and if he knew Taehyung knew that no justification was ever given. With the fact that he was too much of a coward to ask to let on a somewhat uncomfortable wedge between them. Instead, Taehyung opted to let the exhausted omega to sleep while he lay wide awake and pondered.
Yeah, it was scary.
Scratch that, it didn't only scare him but terrify him.
Recently these days he only had himself to talk to, his soulmate always being busy, especially with his upcoming performance. Even if he offered to come it would be waved off and that was that.
The mere thought that maybe Jimin, the most sought-after omega could have anything he wanted, could have something better and more worth his while. Have something more than a simple beta like him could ever dream to provide. It was unpleasant to think your partner would do that, but his mind and heart couldn’t stop thinking like that.
Trust was important and he placed it with Jimin despite what his mind told him. The insecurities that blossomed recently continued to flourish, feeding off him like a leech. It had been eating him from the inside out and he felt like he was being stripped naked. This emotion was so ugly, it was bringing something he hated from within. He wanted to spit it out as if it was venom, he consumed. Emotions like this weighed heavy on his shoulders, acting as extra baggage for him to carry.
The thought made his stomach drop and he knew the longer he let these feelings fester the darker it would get.
If Taehyung was being honest, it had started small like when Jimin would smile just a little too lovingly at his other friends who were omegas, alphas, and betas, all on the top of the hierarchy or status. Especially within this school, Taehyung had to watch this unfold right before his very eyes. The way subtle hands would wander over his boyfriend who didn’t seem to mind. But he smiled at everyone and was touchy with people he trusted so that didn't bug the beta much at all. He knew how outgoing and bubbly the petite omega could be. He couldn't provide what an alpha or another omega could or do what a good beta should.
Then his suspicion was roused when he would hear Jimin in the middle of the night talking on the phone in another room only to come back into their shared bed like nothing had happened. In the morning it was never mentioned. Only once had Taehyung brought it up and all he got was a nervous giggle, eyes that didn’t look right at him, and a switch of the topic. Something clear about Jimin was he was a terrible liar, and his slightly soured smell didn’t hide anything. Yet again though he didn’t say anything.
Perhaps it was in fear of losing him if he did. At this point, he didn’t know because that list was getting bigger and bigger.
As time went by it started going downhill, you would think at the beginning he would be the most insecure. In this case, it was the opposite, at first, they just clicked just right. When their eyes had met on those fateful days something inside him sparked to life. Soon enough their sightings of one another became occasional then daily. Over time the two of them began creating a relationship he could have never dreamed of having.
Jimin was so perfect.
He was gorgeous yet handsome, rich yet humble, and most of all so very loving. Everything that you would want in a person and so much more. The omega painted his somber life with vibrant colours and every day had felt like a dream. They became attached on the hip, going to each other’s classes to only hang out more afterward. Soon after they got a dorm room together.
Taehyung felt special and wanted, something he never knew he craved so much. Just for someone to love him for him. Unbelievable, in his eyes this was unbelievable, and he would never let himself to relax when being able to have this. Being the lucky one to make that eye smile appear on that face or hold his hands. To be the one he wanted. Nothing had felt better. He couldn't imagine a life without Jimin anymore. The male was so much more than just a boyfriend. He was his soulmate and nothing more than being with him made him happier.
However, dreams only last so long.
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From a young age, the mere thought that someone in the world would be your fate was such a romantic and spectacular idea to Taehyung, having a soulmate. A person made just for you. The mere idea fuelled by his infatuation with love made him pray every day to meet them. Perhaps finding his fated mate and loves them wholeheartedly. Giving them everything he could and receiving the same because weren't they destined to love one another heart and soul? Perhaps it was delusional of him to think that he would meet them and that they would even feel the same way as him.
When he first met Jimin he felt as if it had been love at first sight and they were to be soulmates but the male hadn't mentioned ever feeling the same way so he shoved that in a box and never said it aloud. Told the omega he felt a spark in that moment because the older had been so engrossed in that moment their eyes briefly met he hadn't noticed surely. A part of him had died there, he had been expecting so much more which he shouldn't have but ended up doing. The more he hoped the more it would hurt when it was crushed.
Taehyung sighed in exasperation, the pencil that had been sketching in his book stopped. On the once blank paper was a couple of outfits that he had been planning to make for their year anniversary of dating despite being friends before that. Both outfits complemented one another, after all weren't such outfits meant to match. It was simple yet elegant which was Jimin's preferred taste since he always had to wear gorgeous intricate outfits for his performances. When staring at him a bitter laugh couldn't help but tumble out. He ripped his eyes away from the sketchbook and slammed it shut not daring to look any longer for what may happen if he did.
His eyes turned to the mannequin right next to him which displayed the outfit he had made for Jimin's showcase in a week. It was made of silk so it could be light and keep up with the fluid movements of the dancer. The color was a pure white encrusted with silver gems that would glitter like stars beneath the stage light, it was a touch he added because Jimin was like a galaxy. He made it simple so the wearer would be the center focus, not like if it was complex it would take the shine from the omega. He didn't think anything could dim that light. Nothing would make him happier than to see the male perform be in his element and thrive. The male lived to perform and lived to shine. Whereas he lived to watch from the background and admire.
So he wanted everything to be perfect to be worthy of him despite all the reassurance he would usually get. There was no of that this time. All the final adjustments needed to be made and it was all good. Taehyung wanted this outfit to be a surprise and it wasn't like it was going to be a shock since he usually made Jimin's outfit. He just hoped the others would like this piece of clothing and use it.
Despite how his stomach protested in hunger Taehyung ignored it and strode over to the mannequin with a needle in hand. His eyes glanced outside quickly, it was still evening and it wasn't like Jimin was going to be home yet anyway. He hadn't been at all recently. As much as he wanted to find him since his heart ached for the omega he wouldn't want to interrupt in these stressful times. His beta instincts screamed to comfort and take care of the omega. What Jimin needed though wasn't some overwhelming beta on his tail.
Even if he longed to just cuddle for a while and have some soft kiss sessions. It just felt lonely.
Here in this empty room.
At home in that empty house.
And right here in his heart. That was where it all started, the doubt, the sadness, the anger.
Right in his heart.
Taehyung folded his arms and placed his cheek on it, eyes gazing outside where the cherry blossom tree that started so many love stories, was where his started to be as cliché as it was. The flowers were yet to bloom since spring was still far. But time passes fast so he would wait patiently for it to bloom once more. The music that bounced across the room on the walls played the sound of strumming guitars, the melody was gentle and warm. He found himself humming against the beat and the sound of his deep voice reverberated in his chest. He felt his eyes flutter shut as the wind tickled his skin. The sunlight that filtered past the pale curtains warmed his skin.
Just for a while he'll let himself stop worrying, let the world he lived in his mind stop on its axis just so he could breathe. Breathe in the fresh air that filled his lungs and relish in the sunset. She had already laid down awaiting night to fall. Perhaps the sun was just as alone as him because she was also waiting for her fated lover, her soulmate.
How sad.