Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Can you please put your hands behind your back, Geto-sama?”

Suguru snarls at her and Manami flinches, holding on to the black ropes she uses to tie him up. While the rational half of his brain knows by now that this is par for the course, just so they don’t have anymore incidents in which he scratches someone’s eyes out, or puts up too much unnecessary struggle; the primal, animal part of him is starting to take over, and quickly, too. He still has a bit more time until he gets completely overwhelmed by the heat hormones, but he’s been snappy and hissy for the past couple of days and getting progressively worse.

“Geto-sama, please try to cooperate with me here.”

She instinctively tries to calm him down with her own omega pheromones, which would probably work if he was an alpha. Unfortunately for them both, all it does is make him flinch and gag. Feeling another omega’s scent so close to his heat is unpleasant – his nose is already overly sensitive, and most people reek to him.

Most of the time, Manami is acceptable. Sufficiently unintrusive in all ways, which is why he picked her as his assistant. Most of the time. This far into his heat, though, it’s like she spritzed perfume directly into his nose.

“Stop that,” he says, and she catches on, mildly hurt and huffing.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help myself. I dislike going through this with you, you know.”

“Not more than I do.”

“Not more than you do, yes, but it’s still unpleasant. Please turn around and put your hands behind your back.”

This time, Suguru sighs, turns around and puts his arms behind his back, palms against his elbows and forearms pressed together. She wraps the rope around his arms in a single column before bringing it upward, over his deltoids and across his chest to secure the harness. She brings the rope back, wrapping it around itself and pulling, making sure it’s tense enough and that his hands are bound tightly. She’s pretty efficient at doing a classic box tie on him at this point, and arranges her ropes evenly and neatly.

Manami’s that type of omega who’s very neat and tidy, a detail-oriented perfectionist that makes her excellent for this sort of endeavor. She tests his bonds for proper tension and makes him do a finger squeeze test, too, just to make sure she’s not pinching any of his nerves. The more he gets into his heat, the less likely he is to feel when something is going numb.

When she’s done with his arms, she moves in front of him and wraps another rope around his ankle. He knows this step, too. After his ankle is wrapped up, she pushes his shin inwards, until his heel presses into the meat of his bare thigh. She spirals the working ends of the rope up his leg, doing four wraps before pulling it underneath his knee. There’s a simple knot done on each coiling rope wrap, and, despite really disliking everything that has to do with this situation, he can’t help but find it fascinating, how it digs into skin, how the rope feels when it rubs against him.

Suguru thinks this would probably be something he’d be genuinely into. Under different circumstances, with a different partner ( don’t start thinking about him so soon ), a different sort of mood.

As it is, it’s just something. A bodily sensation. Hands tied around his back, ropes pressing into his chest. One leg bent and securely tied, all the layers of rope rubbing into him when he struggles.

There’s a basic part of his omega biology that feels oddly soothed by it, this pressure on his muscles and nerves that forces him to sit still.

“Do you want the blindfold, too?” She asks him, but she knows he always says yes so she pulls it out before he even responds. He closes his eyes before she puts it over his face, and tries really, really hard to keep his mind blank. He’s getting to the point where it’s easier, when he stops thinking coherent thoughts and he gets loaded with pheromones and heat and need.

She puts on his noise-blocking earbuds so he can’t hear anything and secures his ball-gag around his mouth.

Afterwards, she just leaves him alone.

Usually, he still has about half an hour of sitting there in which he still has thoughts in his head. Few of them, that’s true, but still there. It’s mostly feelings and imaginings, trying to settle with the deep sense of shame and betrayal that his body puts him through all these indignities. He hates the pooling between his legs, and the fire in his veins, and the way his brain is slowly turning into mush.

His heats have always been bad. Short and intense and excruciatingly painful, irregular, too. Suguru used to take fistfuls of suppressants to keep them under some semblance of control, but it wasn’t always efficient. His body isn’t normal, he isn’t normal – he’s a glorified storage unit for curses and that tends to mess everything up. Emotions, reactions, amino acids, his fluctuating levels of dopamine and serotonin and estrogen. It’s fucked up enough to be a male omega, then the universe had to give him a wonky technique, too, something that messes up with his biology even more.

And as he got older, the suppressants got less and less effective. He needed to take breaks between suppressant cycles and allow his heats to happen. At least then he could choose when it happened and have some semblance of control over them.

The problem is, Suguru really doesn’t like alphas.

Most of them stink. They make him gag. They make him snarl and hiss.

Most of them are also weak, swaggering around and thinking they could scruff him and knot him without realizing he is so out of their league, he might as well be on a different planet. Maybe that was even the appeal, the fantasy that they could debase him and bring him down to their level.

Two years ago, when his suppressants stopped being properly effective, he tried to pick up a random alpha to spend his heat with. It backfired spectacularly on him, because he ended up ripping the man’s throat out with his teeth when he knotted him, so that was an unpleasant experience to go through.

Disposing of a dead body while also going through heat, -1/10, horrible, would not recommend.

He got one of his curses to eat it, and the bloody sheets, but then he still had to deal with the smell and the stickiness of the blood clinging to his skin.

Being an omega is the worst.

Still though, these moments before his heat set in, they aren’t all bad. The senses deprivation works to calm him down, and the steady pressure from the shibari is soothing. The pressure inside his body is building and whenever he tries to squirm, there’s the reminder that he was immobilized that lulls him slightly. It’s almost enough to fool him into thinking everything is alright.

But then, when the awful, gnawing need starts to settle in, the building pressure and the pain, that’s when the worst of it settles in.

Thing is, he…. Suguru…he.

Fuck.

Hates thinking about it.

Rephrase .

The biological incentive of heat cycles means that, while there are omegas lucky enough to make due with toys and hormone shots, not all of them are that lucky. Some omegas can also spend their heats alone, unassisted, and only go through it once every other month. Other unlucky individuals end up with fucked up cycles and crazy heats, where they turn into feral, cock-hungry werewolves and if they don’t get through the whole “ breed me, knot me, fuck me hard” , it just starts up again in a week or two.

There’s no amount of pills that can make it bearable. He’s tried literally everything.

But it doesn’t stop Suguru from flinching whenever he feels hands touching him.

The deal he has with Manami is that she’s supposed to organize his heats and that he doesn’t want to know who takes part, as long as none of them linger too much, or bite his neck, or knock him up. Suguru doesn’t want to look at any of them, or talk to them, but they still need to be pretty strong because he trashes and squirms and writhes, even when he’s bound.

It works better with no pauses in between, so there needs to be a couple of people on rotation, and one of his requirements is that he doesn’t want to have any repeat performances between heats. All of them should use scent blockers, as strong as possible, because he thinks Alphas smell gross. It’s bad enough that he has to deal with semen, that’s more than enough.

It’s not like he enjoys any of this. In the past two years since his meds stopped working properly, he could probably count the number of times he came during one of his heats on one hand, and then he had wanted to gag afterward, grossed out with himself. Like he betrayed some( one )thing. Broken vows. He’s got some of those.

So he doesn’t try to catalogue any of them, doesn’t try to think of them as people, more like sentient sex toys that are there to fulfill a purpose. Tools he resents. He tries to block out as much of the sensation as he can, even when it’s... Pounding. Hammering. Impaling. Expanding. Exploding. Filling.

Suguru feels groping hands holding his legs spread, and another pair of them touching his chest. Pinching and twisting his nipples. He wants to pull away and lean in all the same. And someone’s fucking him.

It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t feel good, either. It just is.

Body like a vessel.

Brain empty.

Don’t think about it.

Don’t fight it either.

...I don’t want you, I don’t want you, leave me alone, don’t touch me, don’t touch, how dare you touch me, I don’t want any of you…

It just feels really, really gross, whenever there’s an alpha he doesn’t want touching him and fucking and cumming inside him, like another added layer of grime he will have to scrub clean off himself. A deposit of filth gathering underneath his skin.

One of them likes biting. There is always one that likes biting, like it’s a requirement on Manami’s list.

How To Organize a Gangbang for a Reluctant Omega Cult Leader, ongoing list:

1: Tie him so he doesn’t gouge anyone’s eyes out, gag him so he doesn’t bite anyone’s throat out, blindfold him so he feels more comfortable.

2: Get willing Alphas. Must Include at least one biter.

No one is allowed to touch his throat or bite his throat, so he keeps that covered with a thick leather choker. Bite-proof. Still, the rest of him is fair game, but he always startles when someone’s teeth bite his nipples or his chest or his inner thighs, never quite knowing where it would come from. If it’s from the one fucking him or someone waiting their turn.

Someone biting or sucking, bruising or scratching. Leaving marks. He hates marks, but alphas love leaving them.

As an omega, you always feel when an alpha fucking you is close to cumming, and there’s some instinctual sense of anticipation whenever their rhythm starts picking up and they get more frantic. He can’t really help the frisson of pleasure going through his body when he feels a knot start swelling up inside him, when he feels himself getting pumped full of semen. The alpha has the good sense to pull out when his knot is only half-full and doesn’t lock them into place, but that hurts . He whines around the gag. When the cock pops out of him, it drags over the swollen, sore walls of his pussy. He can feel how his hole is leaking, slick and cum, and he arches.

There’s a part of him that really, really misses the feeling of being knotted and stuffed full of semen. Nothing really beats the hazy feeling of contentment omegas get when they’re being knotted by their alpha. It’s all primal. Shoots you full of oxytocin and gets you high for hours. Suguru resents that part of him.

He’s still shaking, muscles quivering, hole throbbing, when Suguru feels another alpha line up his dick to thrust inside him. He bites into the ball-gag and he’s still not really ready for it yet.

Suguru’s really good at dissociating in moments like this, but, even so, the first thrust is always something he feels too deeply, especially when he’s already bruised and hypersensitive. There’s not much he can do other than lay there and take it, spread open and impaled for someone he doesn’t knot.

The rope digs painfully into his skin and he’s instinctively trying to break his hands free. Push this alpha away. It always takes a couple of thrusts until the numbness properly sets.

He wonders if they talk about it between them. If they talk to him. If they say anything.

Then, Suguru reminds himself, sex toys don’t talk. So it doesn’t matter.  

Suguru thrashes and protests and bucks, and he strains against his bonds and bites into his ball-gag. There’s drool on his chin and running down his throat. There’s fluid between his legs. Inner thighs. Pussy feels raw. Ass feels used.

Heat tears into your pride like nothing else. One minute you have it, and then you’re writhing like a bitch, wanting to get away from mouths and hands and knots and knowing full-well that you can’t, if you do you’ll just make it worse, you’re just gonna have to go through it next week, too. And there’s a part of you that still needs it, despite how repulsive it is.

Even through the desperate fogginess of heat, his instincts are never satisfied. The part of him that’s omega craves something else from these encounters, and none of the random alphas Manami finds for him will ever do the trick. All of them have been forever deemed unworthy, and that instinctive realization always gets hammered into him.

There’s a rhythm to it, with each thrust, each time someone pumps him full of cum before pulling their half-swollen knot out too fast. You’re not my alpha, you’re not my alpha, you’re not my alpha.

It’s something that leaves him gaping and pained and dissatisfied, only for someone else to take their place and then it’s the same thing all over again. You’re not him, where’s my alpha, I want him, I want him, I want my alpha, where is he, why isn’t he here.

God, like muscle memory. You’d think by now he would have gotten used to it. Trained it out of himself. His instincts still want Satoru.

And the nasty part of it all is that there’s always a moment – when something hurts too badly, when someone bites him too hard, whenever he trashes too much, there’s always a moment of overwhelming need where he wants Satoru so badly he can feel himself choking on tears, desperation, need, everything , a whole cocktail of hormones and pheromones and heat-lust-need-pain- please .

Like reaching out and trying to grab hold of smoke. Shifting light. He should be used to it by now.

Still though, there’s no one there.

The part of his brain that is omega keeps holding on to this fantasy that one day, Satoru would just burst through the door and pull all the other intruding hands off of him. Satoru would wrap him up in his arms and kiss him and claim him in front of everyone else, and Suguru wouldn’t feel dirty over it, he’d feel whole.

Satoru would fuck away all his pain. 

Satoru is this bright, shining light that cuts through everything. Satoru would purify him of all the dirt and grime and other alphas touching him. Satoru, in Suguru’s mind, is everything he needs.

And then, when Satoru never comes to rescue him from all the scummy assholes touching him, he’s inevitably hit with a heartbreak so intense that he stops struggling at all and just feels how he folds inside himself.

And it’s visible when he stops struggling and fighting, because that’s usually when someone thinks to take off his gag-ball and fuck his face, too.

He gets turned around, off his back and onto his knees. His head gets yanked by the hair and someone pushes their cock between his lips. He tastes himself on their dick, and there’s some alpha behind him thrusting inside his pussy. The grip they have on his skin is bound to bruise.

The hand in his hair tightens and the dick in his mouth is thrust down his throat faster, with more force. Makes his throat ache. The constant pounding in his pussy makes it hard to focus on anything at all, and the alpha behind him grabs hold of his bonds to hold him up. Manami’s rope work is sufficiently strong, though, and it digs into his skin, moving and rubbing with each thrust.

Suguru gets three brutal thrusts, all of them pushing him forward onto the other’s cock, and there’s a slap over his ass that makes him gasp. The dick in his mouth cums, shooting down his throat and making him swallow. Taste wise, cum isn’t the worst thing he’s ever tasted. He still hates it, though.

And there’s really no point in putting up any resistance anymore, so he just lets them use him however they please. This is the point in which he stops thinking of himself at all and just lets his mind float. Wouldn’t be able to tell you what’s happening. If his mouth’s empty, he starts babbling. If his pussy’s empty, he starts shaking.

Feels raw. Dripping. His blindfold is all soaked with tears.

He thinks of himself in body parts.

Mouth for swallowing. Lips and tongue for talking. Eyes for seeing.

Hands for fighting.

Heart and veins for pumping blood.

Whatever he has been his legs, that feels like an open wound.

A conglomerate of curses under his skin. His cursed energy quilted, made from patches.

Feels more like a curse than a sorcerer, right?

It’s easier to think of himself in parts, split his life into moments, cut them up and then separate like he’s different people. Existing in different dimensions.

There’s only one whole of him and that him exists in bubbles of time, six years ago or maybe even seven? He loses track. Years and years. It’s him and Satoru and they’re together, and it’s before Okinawa and before Riko, it’s before everything that happened. They’re in some nameless, faceless little town, somewhere in the countryside, and he’s shaking with heat-fever and Satoru holds him through it.

Satoru used to be like that with him, really gentle and sweet. He knew what Suguru needed instinctively, better than Suguru ever knew, and he never made him feel bad for it. Satoru fucked him through the heady, syrupy mess of thoughts in his heat-addled brain. He held him to his chest while they were knotted together, and, for those brief pockets of time in Suguru’s life, he felt safe, felt like he belonged.

That’s the problem with his designated biology, it craves belonging and ownership and stability. Omegas are really needy creatures. Alphas are, too, though it’s harder to tell with them. Not with Satoru, though, he bled need all over, and Suguru was no better, so they latched onto each other without a second thought.

No matter how hard he tries, he can never really forget how that felt, the complete feeling of safety and security that washed over him when he was with Satoru, like he knew without a shadow of a doubt that they were meant to be together. Him and Satoru were supposed to take care of each other and love each other. 

Even the heats were nice. They still hurt, but with Satoru, he never felt like they were a sign of weakness, or state of being lesser. They were just something they shared together, a deeply intimate moment in which he allowed someone else to see him and know him in this raw, vulnerable state, and he trusted Satoru to take care of him through it.

And Gojo Satoru isn’t just any regular old Alpha, he’s the Alpha. The one that makes all the others cower in fear. Satoru is just so strong, and sometimes Suguru thought he could feel it in his body, how the famous Six Eyes power was thrumming right under his skin and that just made him swell with pride and love. It was intoxicating to have someone like that interested in him. 

There was the primal, animal part of him that kept gushing and swooning over him, too. Oooh, strong mate, kind mate, I’ll bear you as many children as you want, I’ll be a good omega, I’ll comfort you, I’ll soothe you, I’ll love you with all my heart. I’ll be good for you, I’ll make you proud to have me. I’m yours, I’m yours, I’m yours, I’ll never be anyone else’s.

And, at the end of the day, he was also Just Satoru and he was still Just Suguru, and they were just frighteningly compatible in all things. Like the universe made them for each other. And whenever he buried his face in the crook of Satoru’s shoulder and pressed his nose on the underside of his jaw, he inhaled the natural scent of his body and felt how it soothed some deep-seated body ache.

When he last saw Satoru, in a crowd of people in Shinjuku, he walked close to him and pressed his nose against his pulse point, just so he could feel it one last time. And then he locked away all those nice, happy, sweet-gentle-love-love-love- I-love-you and buried them deep down, under layers of hurt and hate and grief. Precious moments. No one else got to see them.

And whenever he stops struggling, that’s where his mind goes. 

Usually, the worst of his heat lasts between twelve to twenty hours. If they do their job right and everything goes smoothly, it’s less than a day of heat, intense and painful, but it’s still just a day. After that, there’s usually another day or two he has to deal with by himself, but it’s bearable.

Manami comes in and plucks out his earbuds, she informs him that she’ll untie him. She takes off his blindfold, unties his hands and then his legs. He takes a deep, gasping breath and sobs before he can stop himself.

It’s always the same, really.

“I want Satoru.”

She makes him drink water and gives him a robe to wear, tells him he should go shower while she cleans up.

They have a little rental house outside the Tokyo Metro area, and it’s used specifically for this purpose. There’s the living room, the bedroom he uses for nesting and the other bedroom. Manami buys the special sheets, the mess-proof, scent-absorbent heat sheets that are supposed to be reuseable, but he always tells her to throw them out afterwards. Who would want to go through the same sheets over several heat cycles? Gross.

He takes a shower and scrubs himself until his skin hurts, and tries very hard not to let his hands linger on his body. There are bites and scratches. He takes the detachable shower head and puts it between his legs to rinse off as much of the fluid there without having to touch anything. Suguru really hates this part.

It’s not like he has a proper nest here, he’d have to be here longer than a few days every few months for that. Plus, Suguru was never really the kind to nest much, anyways. He still has a very nice bedroom, though, with a soft mattress and a lot of pillows, and the only reason he has it like that is because this whole ordeal tends to be hard on the body. Heats you spend with one partner that loves you and takes care of you still tend to leave one drained and sore, and that’s with someone that has your best interest at heart. Which is not the case here.

The very intense heat hormones tend to make you more resistant to pain, obviously, but the whole thing is just one big endorphin dump and afterwards your brain chemicals are all wonky. It takes a toll on the body, and suddenly everything fucking hurts, especially if your partner s weren’t especially careful with how they handled you.

Oh well.

The extra pillows are nice.

Suguru dries his hair with a towel and walks over to the closet. He doesn’t think he can stand wearing underwear, but he has some really loose pajama pants that might do the trick. Suguru also has one particular sweatshirt he likes to wear when he’s in moments like these and he pulls it out of the closet to sniff it. By now, it just smells like him, and detergent, and it’s pretty stretched out and worn out after being used so much. Still though, he’s fond of it.

During the last year he spent at school, Satoru was away often, and Suguru missed him, so he took up the age-old pining omega habit of stealing an alphas worn clothes so he could sleep in them. This particular sweatshirt of Satoru’s used to be a little too big, and it was really soft on the inside. Overly warm, not something that would be worn during summer, so he took it with him because he knew Satoru wouldn’t be wearing it any time soon. It had been in his bag when he defected, and by now it was no longer baggy on him.

It stopped carrying Satoru’s scent, obviously, but he still liked wearing it. It was very soft inside. Felt a little like a hug. 

“Geto-san, pardon me for asking this, and you can definitely feel free to ignore me, but don’t you think it might be better to consider having one steady partner to help you through your heats?”

The thought of it makes him shudder.

“No. Good God, no Manami, I don’t like alphas.”

“I know that, but surely it’s easier on the body to have a constant partner than to –”

“Alphas stink.”

“Only when you have a very extreme lack in compatibility, but there has to be someone at least slightly –”

“ No . That’s my final decision on this.”

Manami sighs.

“It was just a thought, Geto-san. I was simply worrying about you.”

“Oh, there’s no need to worry! I’m going to try some new suppressants starting next month, and they should be stronger, so I’ll need to do this whole thing less often and you won’t have to work so much over it.”

She’s silent for a long few seconds, looking away from him before asking:

“Doesn’t it hurt?”

Which is rhetorical. They both know it does.

He doesn’t answer her.

Suguru sucks on ice to make his throat feel less bruised and soaks in hot water to lessen the muscle ache. His pussy feels sore, so the baths really help with that. He keeps his hair in a bun while he’s in the tub, and gets down in the water until he reaches under his nose. Sometimes he blows bubbles, too.

His mom and his dad were both betas, so they had no idea what to do with their omega son that alternated between being fiercely independent and pushing people away, to being a needy little mess that huddled on the couch with his pile of blankets and pillows. Omegas needed a lot of skin-on-skin contact, but his parents weren’t the touchy type and they were much too busy most of the time. He didn’t have any brothers or sisters, and he didn’t get along much with other kids.

Pretty quickly, Suguru got the reputation of being a weird, loner kid that no one wanted to hang around with. Looking back at it as an adult, he gets sad for his younger-self that wanted kindness and gentleness from monkeys. None of them were worth it.

There’s a good thing about it, too. It taught him how to keep a tighter leash on his emotions, keep his needy omega self in check.

Suguru used to go home from school, kicking little rocks and cans along the way, doing his best to keep his head forward and ignore everything around him. Strong scents made his stomach turn, strange alpha’s leering at him made him gag, other omegas smelled sour. He prepared his own food and ate it all alone in the living room while watching TV. For anyone else, it would have been lonely, but for him it was really the best moment of the day. It was before his parents came back from work and he got the house all to himself.

His parents used to fight a lot, and their anger and resentment towards each other turned the air around the house rancid. Unpleasant. Always put him on edge when they were around, because he was unfortunately so sensitive to other people’s emotions. Suguru used to shut himself in the bathroom and take long baths whenever he was alone, just so he could scrub them off.

Then, one morning, he woke up and his mom said she wasn’t feeling good. She sent him to school and she stayed home. For the entire school day, he was anxious about having to share his private time with her. So unfocused. The teachers scolded him.

When he got home, he found her in the tub with her wrists cut. Water overflowing. Blood on the white tiles. Smell overwhelming.

Suguru tries not to think about his mother, but sometimes it’s hard not to. Unavoidable. He sits in his overflowing bathtub, steam rising.

He knows Mimiko and Nanako worry about him when he disappears for days on end and then comes back to soak in the tub for hours. Others worry, too – he can feel it in the air around them. It’s not something he cares to address, unless someone has the balls to question him directly, which they never do.

So Suguru ends up sitting in the bathtub as long as he damn well pleases, keeps the hot water running, because, whatever. Manami deals with the bills, he’s not going to bother worrying about it. He slides down into the water and thinks about death.

Suguru wonders what his mother was thinking about while she was sitting in the tub, drinking her red wine and then slitting her wrists with his dad’s safety razor. What was she thinking about while she was bleeding out?

He used to resent her for it. He doesn’t anymore, his mother was just as much of a monkey as all the others. Couldn’t expect more.

Such a meaningless way to die, though. Suicide.

Doesn’t count for shit. 

Suguru tries to put off his next heat as much as possible, takes as many suppressant as he can and even doubles his dosage when it feels it starting to waver. He makes it to the six month mark without any incidents, then realizes that he’s disassociating more and more. Usually a sign he’s been over doing it with the suppressants and needs to cut back on them.

The second he starts taking less, he starts getting hot flashes, starts sweating more and just starts getting randomly horny. He sits there during his cult ceremonies, waiting for some monkey with a curse he’s supposed to exorcize, and all he can think about is dick. During one of the rare all-hands-on-deck meetings he has with his family, someone mentions Gojo Satoru and he whines without meaning to. Moisture instantly soaks his underwear.

Suguru really resents Satoru sometimes, because his whole biology seemingly got rewired around him and his big, dumb alpha cock. It’s been years since they last saw each other and Suguru still craves it, so it's very, very annoying.

This means it’s about time to ask Manami to organize another heat day for him, which is about as daunting for him as it is for her. He loathes to even think about it, but at least he doesn’t have to waste his time on heat apps to find matching alphas or go to heat houses, ew . It’s not like he can go to a random monkey one, and the ones frequented by jujutsu users are owned by one Zenin or another.

Back when he was in school, Naoya Zenin kept offering to nurse him through his heats, would usually say something about it while Satoru was in hearing range, and he’d follow it up with a smirk and eyebrow wiggle. Talked a bit too much about how he wanted to knot him and breed him, because Naoya was that sort of gross bitch, absolutely no manners and very vocal about the conservative, macho alpha belief that omegas were little more than breeding mares.  

Asshole. Satoru used to get all feral and territorial over him after that, he’d shove Naoya’s face in the mud and then drag Suguru to some barely hidden corner to fuck him stupid. So overall, Naoya was definitely unpleasant, but the same couldn’t be said about the effect he had on Satoru – who wouldn’t want their alpha to get all horny and possessive over them? Satoru used to get pretty rough with it, in the best way possible, biting his throat and shoulders while pounding into him, and he loved every second of it. He always smelled like Satoru afterwards, like mine, mine, mine, don’t touch and he’d spend the rest of the day with his pussy all wet and thinking about sucking cock and…

One of his followers is growling, pretty audibly at that. It’s enough to make him blink out of his hazy, horny daydream to realize that he’s been giving off ‘fuck me’ pheromones for the past twenty minutes and how the whole room’s staring at him with various degrees of hunger. He sighs. The bottom of his robes feel soaked. There’s gonna be a slick stain when he gets up.

Suguru hates being an omega. He silently curses Satoru.

Another one of his followers hisses.

“Alright, I suppose we can cut today’s session short.” Suguru smiles at them pleasantly, getting up from where he was sitting, and yes, sure enough, there’s a wet spot on the dias and he can feel a wave of slick trickling down his thigh as he starts walking. He grits his teeth.

He really should figure out a different solution for this, Suguru thinks, while he’s sitting there on his heat bed with its superabsorbent, scent reducing sheets and the ever-growing pool of slick dripping underneath him. And this is going to be an exceptionally long and painfully drawn out heat as well – he can tell because of the horrible, mounting pressure in his lower region, the occasional stabbing contractions that are just too sharp to be pleasurable. Pussy clenching against nothing. He’d really like to fast forward through this shit.

Suguru arches off the bed when a wave of pleasure-pain-pain- pain- need goes through his body, making his pussy drool and his teeth clench around his gag. He’s not even fully there yet and it’s already bad. His wrists and ankles are bound together, forcing him to keep his knees bent and his legs spread wide, making it impossible to rub his thighs together. However little relief that would offer, it would still be nice to have it at a time like this.

He’d normally be ashamed at how relieved he is when the first pair of hands touches him, but by this point his thoughts are a scrambled mess of heat and he can’t stop whining, and it’s been ages since it’s been this bad, oh God, all his nerve endings are on fucking fire and his bones are singing. Suguru bucks and trashes when he gets penetrated, and his walls seize and clench. Feels cheated when he realizes there’s not more of it, wants something he can feel banging against his skull. It’ll have to do.

Suguru’s wrapped up in all of it so tightly, he doesn’t notice how time passes. It could have been an hour or it could have been four, all he knows is the heat and need and pain and struggle. Still though, there’s a point in which he can feel the air shifting in such a familiar way, and he’s hit with this rippling effect of power and energy that knocks the breath out of his lungs and it cuts through the fog in his head instantly and that’s – that’s Satoru .

He can feel Satoru before he can smell him, but when does feel his scent he moans and it almost makes him cum around whoever’s fucking him. Satoru. God, Satoru , it’s impossible to describe how Satoru smells, just because he’s never smelled anything else like him ever before.

Satoru smells like what he imagines space smells like, like burning metal and ozone and whatever scent fills the air outside before a thunderstorm starts. Nothing he can really describe, it just sends a shiver through him whenever he catches whiffs of it in the air.

He starts trashing when he feels Satoru inside the room, and he can’t hear anything or see or yell, but he can feel how the atmosphere changes and he can smell the blood.

Satoru, Satoru, Satoru, Satoru, he knows it’s Satoru.

He’s come to claim you, the needy, primal thing inside him says, your alpha came for you, he finally came to get you and mark you and claim you as his.

It’s so loud in his head, it’s drowning out any other interpretation.

Satoru came to take you away, so you don’t have to deal with anyone else ever again, your alpha’s here to save you from all of this, your alpha, your alpha…

He feels the bed dip and then Satoru’s bending over him. He plucks out his earplugs and takes off his blindfold, and then Satoru, Satoru, Satoru, Gojo Satoru with his blue eyes and his white hair and his long lashes and delicate eyebrows and high cheekbones and perfect straight nose and full lips, he’s so lovely and pretty and gorgeous and Suguru’s just caught staring at him because it’s been ages since he’s seen him and he’s just overwhelmed with it.

Alpha, alpha, alpha, oh god, he’s so perfect, he’s just want you need, he’s the only thing you need, he’s the only thing you’ll ever need and you’ll be everything for him, you’ll bear his children and keep his home and soothe his pain and…and…

He’s enraptured by him in ways he’s never been before. Part of it is the intense heat hormones running through his body. Part of it is just missing Satoru and finally being able to look at his handsome face, for the first time in years.

Satoru takes off his gag and he gasps out his name. Suguru sees him licking his drool off the ball gag, the tip of Satoru’s tongue running over his teeth marks and he whimpers.

“ Alpha –- ”

Satoru’s fingers instantly go into his mouth, pressing down on his tongue and pushing in as far as they will go. Surugu’s eyes go wide for a second before he starts sucking on them instinctively.

“Don’t talk,” Satoru tells him, his voice clipped and serious and raw, and everything about his demeanor screams danger.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see blood in the room. He’s not exactly sure if his would-be-heat-companions are dead or not, but it doesn’t matter, the thought of Satoru beating up other alphas for him is enough to send him into a horny frenzy. The reality of it is even more thrilling, sending shivers of passion through him.

His body shakes. Thighs quiver. He moans around Satoru’s fingers. His pussy leaks. Hurts .

“Do you know how I found out about this place, Suguru?” Satoru asks, and if his brain was a little less hazy, he’d probably start questioning things. Try to hide himself. Realize the shameful position he’s in. As is, he can barely even focus on what Satoru’s saying, he’s hearing, but he’s not really processing. “I got sent on a mission to capture and interrogate some smugglers that were trafficking special grade cursed tools. Pretty standard stuff, not a big deal, I thought I would be in and out of there in a few hours. But you know what happened?”

Satoru pushes his fingers deeper in his mouth, and he uses his other hand to pinch and twist one of Suguru’s nipples, hard and sharp.

“One of them said he fucked my omega. He knew what kind of scar you had on your chest and what mole you had on the inside of your thigh.” Satoru pulls at his nipple, making him gasp, causing a fresh wave of slick between his legs. “He said you were calling out for me while they fucked you. Do you have any idea how it felt to hear that?” Satoru pulls his fingers out of Suguru’s mouth and drags them over Suguru’s face.

“Did you kill him, Alpha?” he asks, the first coherent thing that comes from him, and it’s all breathless with arousal and anticipation, fluttering his eyelashes and biting his lip.

“Yes.” Suguru moans. He wants Satoru to untie him, so he can fall to his knees in front of him and suck him off. “Do you know why I killed him? And them, too?”

“Because they touched me?”

“Because they touched you. Because you were supposed to be mine.”

Your Alpha killed people for you, your Alpha killed, fought for you, he’s so strong, he’s so worthy, he’s always going to take care of you and your children, you’ll never want for anything as long as you’re with him.

“Yours,” he sighs, all dreamy and stupid and despite everything, he feels this sort of loving certainty settling over him.

You’re his, you were always supposed to be his, it’s what you were born to be, you always wanna fight it, but there’s no point. You’re his. You’re his. You were always meant to be his.

“You smell like other men.”

That hurts.

It’s true, but it still hurts. His voice is cold, and Suguru’s feeling really sensitive, because that’s what heat hormones are going to do to you. Make your eyes sting.

He’s upset with you.

You’ve made your Alpha upset, he’s not going to want you anymore.

He’s going to think you’re dirty and used.

He’s going to throw you away and find himself a better omega.

“Make me smell like you, Alpha,” he whines, voice breaking, fingers straining. The rope is biting into his skin.

“Is that what you want?” Satoru palms his pussy and then slaps, keeps slapping it, gives him these short slaps over his pussy, making him whine.

“Alpha.”

Satoru doesn’t let him talk, though. He pinches his pussy lips and rubs them together, while his other hand goes directly to Suguru’s throat, palm pressing against his neck and fingers digging into his veins. Suguru’s eyelashes start fluttering wildly, eyes rolling and mouth gasping, Satoru starts slapping him again and when he’s close to cumming from it, he shoves fingers in Suguru’s hole, four of them at the time. It’s so sudden and rough it makes him cry out, and then Satoru presses on his throat harder and cuts him off.

As suddenly as he was filled, Satoru’s fingers crook inside him, amazing, pressing his G-Spot, God, so close. He drags them out slowly and pulls out completely, looks at his fingers. Suguru sees how there’s a mix of his own slick and someone else’s cum sliding off of his hand, and Suguru realizes it’s not really touching him.

Satoru pulls away from him, and unties his bonds, Suguru’s tongue is heavy in his mouth and he can’t think, his body protesting and hurting and his cunt throbbing, heart wild. He can’t think. Can’t think. Can’t. Alpha .

When his wrists are free, he looks at the redness of them. He closes his thighs and rubs them together. Suguru opens his arms and whines, his head’s too sluggish and he can’t seem to talk, but he hopes his Alpha will understand. Satoru. Satoru .

Please hold me. Please hold me. Alpha, please hold me, let me apologize for being bad, don’t shut me out, don’t leave me, let me be yours again please please please.

He wants to be wrapped up in Satoru’s comforting scent again. He wants Satoru’s arms wrapped around him. Wants to apologize. Wants Satoru to make the whole world go away. Satoru makes the whole world go away.

But instead of accepting Suguru’s embrace, instead of picking him up and holding him and telling him it’ll be alright, Satoru just…

“I’m upset with you, you know. I’m disappointed, too.”

He looks away. He sits up and takes a step away, and another. Puts distance between his body and Suguru’s.

There’s a frisson of dread. Cold inside. Comebackcomebackcome back –

You’re dirty, you’re tainted, you let other men touch you, why should he want to hold you?

He feels like crying.

Suguru looks in the corner of the room, sees four bodies, or five? He doesn’t care to know who any of them were. Never did. He never wanted any of them to touch him to begin with. He just needs to make Satoru know that. Stone-faced Satoru. Alpha is angry.

All the cells in Suguru’s body are yearning for him.

He raises himself from the bed, struggles to sit up when he’s all shaky and unsatisfied and it hurts everywhere, but he doesn’t want his alpha to be upset. Wants to soothe him. There’s a part of him that needs to know he can take away Satoru’s hurt. Home, hearth and comfort, right?

Suguru’s always been bad at comforting. It’s supposed to come naturally for omegas, but he’s bad at it, he’s a bad omega. Always has been, even when he tried to be good for Satoru, it was always a struggle. But he needs to try. Needs Satoru to forgive him.

No, he needs Satoru to punish him, too. He needs Satoru to pin him to the bed and fuck him till he cries from it, and knot him until his pussy just gets molded to the shape of his cock. Satoru has the biggest cock he’s ever felt, and he always hurts, even when he was being gentle. Knot so big it made him tear.

He needs Satoru to punish him for being bad, wants Satoru to hurt him, wants Satoru to bite him and scratch him and stretch him out and use him. He’ll gladly take all the violence and anger Satoru can throw at him, but he can’t take being ignored and abandoned.

Suguru feels slick dripping down his legs when he stands, and then he goes to Satoru and wants to touch him, but can’t . He puts his arms around him and realizes Satoru’s infinity is up. Tries to caress Satoru’s face and he can’t touch him, tries to scent him and can’t . This close to his body, he should feel Satoru’s skin, the warmth of him, the smell of his skin when you’re close to his body, should feel him, needs to feel him close.

When his infinity is up, Satoru doesn’t smell like anything at all. Feels like a void, like an empty space where his beloved should be, Suguru’s eyes see him but his senses don’t perceive Alpha, lover, comfort, need.

Let me in. Let me in. Let me in, let me in, let me in .

Satoru never had his infinity up around him. Never. Never. No barriers between them.

Satoru.

He knows it’s impossible to get past it, but he still tries to push against it, tries scratching at the barrier to peel it away from his Alpha, he wants to reach his skin and feel him, please let me feel you, let me in let me in let me in –

And Satoru’s looking at his distraught face until he says:

“You’re not allowed to touch me.”

It’s probably the worst thing you can tell an omega. Alpha doesn’t want to touch me. I’m bad, dirty, tainted, I’ve disappointed him, he’ll leave me and find someone better.

He wants to put his arms around Satoru to keep him close, but it’s like holding on to ice. Sliding off. Not cold, just devoid of feeling.

And it’s fucked up, how he realizes this is insulting and hurtful, and at any other point in time Suguru would have enough decency and self-respect to turn around and leave. Hide his hurt better.

Turn around and leave.

Turn around and fucking leave, and there’s a part of him that wants to.  

Still…

Heat fucks with you. Heat fucks with your head and your heart and your sense of self and your pride, and, unfortunately for Suguru, he never had that much pride when it came to Satoru in the first place.

Instead of turning around and leaving, he slides down to the floor and drops to his knees in front of Satoru. He wants to press his face against Satoru’s thigh, but he’s stopped by the barrier again. He whines and looks up at him, eyes wet, blinking fast.

Satoru pushes the bandages of one of his eyes and looks down. His mouth is tight and his face is unreadable, and Suguru doesn’t even have the brain power necessary to process what’s happening. He just tries to rub his face against Satoru’s Infinity barrier and it feels fuzzy, unsatisfactory. At the same time, there’s a constant stabbing ache between his legs, the tremors in his body that make his hands shake.

Satoru’s smell would help. Satoru’s pheromones always used to help.

Alpha. Ugh . He’s so dizzy.

He’s giving off distress signals, he knows he is, full of pain and upset and need, and it’s very hard to do anything against it, can’t control it despite struggling against it.

And then, maybe Satoru feels it, maybe it’s too much for him to stand it when Suguru’s just so desperate for him, or that there’s some Alpha instinct that overrides some of his upset, because he drops his infinity then and lets Suguru nuzzle against his thigh. He’s hit with the overwhelming scent of him, this close he feels like he is drowning in Satoru.

Suguru moans and wraps an arm around Satoru’s leg. He rubs his face against the fabric of his pants, pushes his nose against his crotch and feels how hard he is inside his pants. He presses his cheek against the bulge of his erection and sighs.

“Alpha, knot .”

“You don’t deserve my knot.”

The rejection should upset him further, but, instead, it brings a new wave of slick to his cunt.  And the truth is, he likes kneeling by Satoru’s feet.

Satoru wears these nice, black shiny boots that never get even a speck of dust on them. He doesn’t even walk on the ground if he can help it, Satoru just floats. Flies. He presses his cunt against the smooth leather of his boots and rubs side to side, mouth open and panting against Satoru’s clothed erection. He presses his teeth against it and tries to bite, to make him feel it through the layers of clothes.

“You’re dripping on my shoes,” Satoru says and fists a hand in his hair. “You’re such a messy slut, baby.”

“ No – ”

“Yeah, you are.”

Alright, he is. Messy slut. Satoru’s messy slut.

It’s embarrassing, but it does nothing to stop him. Makes him moan. Makes him rub his nipples against the coarse fabric of Satoru’s pants. He flushes hard.

“ Alpha …”

“Yeah, I’m here, babe.”

The hand in his hair tightens, and Satoru pulls his head back sharply. He bends over Suguru to look at him, and it’s a combination of very insane lust and really cold anger, makes his spine tingle ‘cause even through all the heat of it, he knows Satoru’s never looked at him like that before. Satoru’s only ever been gentle and sweet, and this is different.

Satoru keeps his head pulled back and his neck arched, so much so that his jaw stays opened, unable to close. Satoru fingers are in his mouth again, hooking against the inside of his cheek. He’s close enough to kiss, close enough that Suguru feels his breath, the warmth on his face.

“I should leave you right here. I’m so upset with you.”

He sticks his tongue in Suguru’s mouth, but it’s not a kiss.

Dripping spit inside.  

Bites his lip.

Satoru pushes his foot up, presses the toebox of his shoe between his wet folds and rubs against his clit. At this point, Suguru’s so desperate for him he can’t understand why they were ever apart. All of his senses are overwhelmed.

“I haven’t been going around sharing my ruts with anyone, you know. I couldn’t just go around knotting anyone else, so to find out my omega’s letting other alphas touch him…” Satoru grabs his chin and make him look at the men that were supposed to fuck him. “Now see what I have to do?”

He’s always known Satoru’s dangerous. It’s just part of the attraction. Somehow, this makes it even more so.

“I can’t even ask you if any of it was worth it, because I know it wasn’t. I can smell how this whole house reeks of your anger and grief. Smells unsatisfied. So why did you never come to me?”

Satoru pushes him slightly and then crouches in front of Suguru’s face. He keeps a steady hold on him, hand on Suguru’s throat, fist in his hair, makes sure to keep him upright. If not, he’d just fall right into his arms.

“Talk to me.”

He can’t, he feels like he can’t, his tongue’s too heavy, it’s too frustrating, it’s –

Satoru slaps him over the cheek. It’s not hard, not really, it just stings a little, but it also snaps him right into the moment, eyes widening and head clearing.

“Better?” He snaps his fingers in front of Suguru’s face. “Eyes on me, focus. I need to talk to you. Can you talk to me?”

“I’ll try, Alpha.”

“Good boy, alright. Listen . As far as I can see it, we have two choices here. I have this place. I can’t stand being here any longer and I wanna leave. Either you stay here with Miss Manami – she’s waiting outside, by the way – or I take you with me.”

That’s not a choice, it’s so obvious what Suguru wants.

“What the catch?”

“If I leave, I’m done with you. I’m serious. I’m done with you, completely. And if I take you with me, I’m not letting you leave me again.”

Suguru looks at him and snorts. He’s all drooly and teary and sweaty, so it’s less of a dignified, mocking huff and much more pathetic. Satoru swallows.

“I thought you didn’t want me touching you. Messy slut, right?”

“Listen, if you come with me, I’m absolutely going to make you work for it until I forgive you. You have to make it up to me.” Satoru sighs, presses against the veins in Suguru’s neck a little too tight, makes him gasp, then lets go, caressing his fingers up and down his arteries. Suguru wants him to hold on longer. Press harder. “But I do want to work it out.”

“And if not, we’re done?” He asks, with a smirk. It’s weird how clear his head feels at the moment, though the room is spinning with him. World is spinning. Satoru’s fingers on his throat. He wants to get slapped again.

“Yes. Absolutely.”

Suguru starts chuckling, though it feels stupid. He feels stupid.  

“That’s funny. It’s so funny. I thought we already were.”

Satoru cocks his head to the side and frowns at him. Stares. Somewhere between angry and upset, but surprised, too, until his mouth twists into a grimace. Snarls. Bares his teeth.

“You’re so fucking stupid,” he says, and then he pulls him forward. He headbutts him, fucking ouch , but then, instead of pulling away immediately, he keeps his forehead pressed against Suguru’s. “Shoko was right. You’re so fucking stupid.”

At this point, he starts shivering again, because heat-fever is a thing that isn’t pleasant and it wrecks your muscles. Sweaty and sticky and in pain. Satoru runs his fingers through his hair as a small measure of comfort, and he’s grateful. Satoru takes the bathrobe that was hung on the back of the door for him and wraps Suguru up in it.

“I want you,” he finally says. His teeth are clattering. “I only ever wanted you.”

Satoru sighs and picks him up, teleports them away from there and to what is presumably his apartment. Because of the weird displacement motions, he ends up feeling so much sicker as a result, so Satoru takes him to the bathroom and holds his hair back as he vomits. Considering he hasn’t eaten anything in a while, it’s just bile and acid, leaving a burn in his throat and his mouth.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, and helps Suguru in the shower. Makes him lean with his back against the tiles while Satoru takes the detachable shower head and essentially hoses him down, focusing on his scent glands and between his legs.

His skin is sticky with all sorts of things.

Satoru’s in the shower with him, but he’s fully dressed, droplets of water ricocheting off his infinity while Suguru stands there naked and exposed and shuddering from a combination of arousal and shame. The water is lukewarm and it feels soothing to his overheated skin. Satoru comes closer to him and puts the shower head between his legs, presses it right up between his folds.  

At first, it makes him gasp, then he moans. It’s not like the water pressure is that strong, but he’s so hypersensitive down there now, and the little ridges in the showerhead are excellent for grinding. He starts moving his hips against it without even thinking about it.

Satoru doesn’t say anything about it, just watches him. He puts a hand on the tiles beside Suguru’s head, but that’s it, just stares and makes sure that Suguru knows it, feels it, curious and possessive and hungry. He’d be more ashamed of it if it wasn’t so hot.

His ass slaps against the wet tile with each rocking movement of his hips. It’s not enough to make him cum – truth be told, very few things are – but it still feels good. Can’t stop, even when it gets frustrating and he whines from it. Satoru just seems amused by it.

When he’s frustrated enough from it and clearly not getting anywhere, Suguru huffs and slumps against the wall. Satoru chuckles and shakes his head as he closes the water, and that just makes him flush from embarrassment.

Being an omega is the worst.

Satoru gives him a new robe and helps him put it on, helps him towel dry his hair and brush out the knots. Satoru drags him to his bedroom and makes him sit on the bed while he goes looking for something.

It’s weird to be inside Satoru’s den. Suguru lays on the bed and looks at the ceiling, feeling a little lightheaded with the smell of his sheets. He turns his head to the side and sniffs the bedding, feels himself getting wetter and moans. Something inside his belly aches.

When Satoru comes back, he puts cream on Suguru’s rope burns and Suguru looks away when he does it. He feels it’s unnecessary to be so careful.

“There. You don’t smell like a whore anymore.”

He’s dizzy. Room’s spinning.

Satoru hums and kneels next to his head. He unbuckles his pants and pushes them down, and Suguru goes a little cross-eyed when he sees his dick, all hard and veiny and red. His mouth waters, too, and he suddenly remembers that he likes sucking cock, as long as it’s Alpha’s cock.

“But I want you to smell like me.”

Satoru grabs his hair and pulls him up slightly, makes him press his cheek against his erection. Suguru opens his mouths and wants to taste him, but Satoru holds him in place, doesn’t take his open mouth as an invitation to fuck his throat.

“No, see, I don’t think you earned the right to do that. I don’t know what was in your mouth before, do I?”

He slaps his cock over Suguru’s cheek a couple of times, and it’s not painful, but it stings a little, mostly like tapping a wound, only in this case the wound is his dignity. Part of him wants to hide in shame, the other wants to ask for more.

But the only thing he’s allowed to do is stay there, with his drooly, half-open mouth and half-lidded eyes, his hands fisted in the sheets and his cunt leaking. He writhes against the sheets. Wants to rub his thighs together, but Satoru tells him not to so he doesn’t. Nipples sore. Pussy throbbing.

Satoru jerks off over his face and splatters it with cum. Pushes his cockhead against Suguru’s cheeks so he can feel it. Over his lips and dripping down his chin, on his chest. He feels euphoric. Wants to lick his lips clean and suck on the head of Satoru’s cock.

“God, I forgot how pretty you are like that.”

Satoru licks his skin and sucks on it and bites it, and when that's not enough he spits on him and spreads it with his fingers until he's all shiny with saliva. He opens Suguru legs and settles between then, takes his cock in hand and starts working it again.

"Show me your hole, baby. Spread yourself."

So he does it, spreads his pussy lips open with his fingers and raises his hips for Satoru to see better. He's mortified by the action, but feels how slick rolls down his crack from it. Feels his walls twitching.

"Your pussy's so pretty, babe," Satoru says, and presses his cock between his spread out folds, rubbing up and down and not pushing inside. He can’t stand it.

"Alpha, please fuck my pussy. I need you to knot me."

"I haven't decided if I wanna do that yet," he says, and just dips the head of his cock inside Suguru’s hole, making him gasp, only to pull it out and smack it against his clit until his eyes roll back. "Tell me who owns these holes."

"You do, Alpha."

"So. Holes don’t get a say on how and when they get fucked and knotted."

He sobs at that, and writhes, and rubs against Satoru’s cock, and desperately hopes he'll do it already.

Ownership is weird, and possession is dangerous. Not inherently, but because of how much he needs it, wants it, craves it – he's always been so desperate to be someone's, and then he was Satoru’s and that never changed.

"And you even let other people play with what's mine, that's so rude."

Satoru pinches his clit, and then slaps it repeatedly with his cock, until Suguru’s arching off of the bed for him.

“You’re not allowed to cum until I tell you to, agreed? If you’re really close, you have to ask for my permission, alright?”

He’s never been the overly orgasmic type, always had a lot of trouble getting off. Too in his head to cum easily. Satoru always knew how to get him off, though, and encouraged him through it. If Satoru wants him to abstain from it and ask for permission, he will.

Then, he pushes inside in one go, from tip to hilt, bottoms out and starts fucking into him, fast and forceful and so much. His walls tighten and grip and his pussy doesn’t want to let him go, ever, sucks him in and caresses him.

Satoru bends over him and pinches his nipples, too, scratches his nails over them and – Alpha alpha alpha, I need you, I need you I need you I need you

God, he is so close to cumming. He's so close. He needs so little to just tip over, but he's not allowed to without Alpha's permission. He wants to be good for Satoru and drag it out as long as possible, so he stays right there at the edge of it and shakes and sobs while Satoru pounds into him, just like he was made for. If his holes are Satoru’s, then his orgasms belong to him, too, and he deserves to have a say in when they happen.

Satoru pulls out before knotting him, and Suguru wants to cry over how unfair that is. He cums all over him, over his chest and belly and his pussy, cum splattering all over Suguru’s skin and knot big and swollen. His pussy drips.

"Please put it back in. Please put it back in." Whining is unbecoming. Needy. Is Satoru gonna think he’s a dirty slut over it? Did he ever whine for everyone else? He always asked for Satoru, always, always –

"Holes don't talk, babe."

At this point, he's all a mess of cum and sweat and saliva, his own slick and Satoru’s semen mixing together and dribbling over his skin. It should feel gross, but it doesn't. Actually, it feels so much better.

Satoru kneels next to his head again, puts his knees on either side of Suguru's throat and presses his swollen knot against his lips. His cock's all wet.

"Give it a kiss, Suguru, say hello. It's missed you terribly, and then to hear that you let other's inside you...you should apologize."

He kisses Satoru’s knot and mouths at it. Then licks it, from the base, over the knot, up the shaft, until he reaches the head of the cock. Satoru grabs hold of his hair.

"Open up, babe, come on. I wanna see you suck it clean."

So, Suguru puts out his tongue and takes it in his mouth, lips soft and cheeks hollowed, swirls his tongue over the head and moans into it. His dick tastes and smells like Suguru’s pussy and like his cum, like taking his pleasure from Suguru’s body and leaving him well-used.

Suguru puts his palms on Satoru’s ass and pulls him forward, down his throat until he can feel his lips spreading over Satoru’s knot. He wants to push it further in his mouth until it's all in, but Satoru stops him.

"It's alright, it's alright. Shhh. Don't push yourself too much, you wouldn't be able to keep it inside your mouth for long if I shove my knot in there, too. And I know Suguru’s a dirty cockslut that likes sucking me."

So, he relaxes into it, enjoying the feeling of having Alpha's cock in his mouth and servicing him like that. Satoru moans and puts a hand on his knot, starts massaging it, gripping and letting go and simulating the contractions Suguru’s pussy should be doing around it to help it go down faster.

The combination of Suguru sucking him and Satoru gripping himself makes semen shoot inside his mouth, pumping onto his tongue and down his throat. He feels how Satoru shudders and groans.

"Make sure to swallow everything, alright? Don't be messy."

So Suguru swallows and swallows around him, feels grateful for it in a way he can't quite grasp, but he instinctively knows. Satoru. Satoru. He's all drunk on him. All his senses overflowing.

Slowly, slowly, he feels how Satoru’s knot is deflating, until he can take more and more of his dick in his mouth, until Suguru finds himself with his nose pressed up against white pubes.

When he pulls away, he keeps a grip on Suguru’s hair.

"Show me. Don't be shy, mouth open, tongue out, I wanna see if you were good about it."

Suguru obeys him and puts out his tongue only for Satoru to put his lips around it and suck it, then lick it. Suguru wonders if he tastes himself there, if it’s part of the appeal. Spits on his tongue and spreads it over his tastebuds with the tip of his finger. He closes his lips around Satoru’s digit and starts sucking it.

Satoru looks at him like he can’t quite believe Suguru’s there and real and he wants to bite into him to convince himself. It’s a combination of hunger and adoration and pain, something raw that tugs at the chains that bind them together. Suguru realizes, then, something he’s always known – that Satoru absolutely still wants him, even like this.

This sort of complete acceptance is exhilarating and terrifying, because Suguru spent a whole lot of time letting a lot of people ruin him in a lot of basic, primal ways, the equivalent of a bride rolling around in mud on her wedding day, and at least part of him thought it would make it easier. That it would make Satoru cut him loose whenever they next saw each other, because Suguru himself sure as hell wouldn’t ever be able to do that.

They’re both kneeling on the bed now looking at each other, and Satoru puts one hand around Suguru’s throat and the other on his nape. He makes Suguru raise his chin to look at him, presses fingers into his veins and behind his jaw.

“Just so we’re clear on this, Suguru – I’m not letting you go again, you realize that, right?”

“Yes.”

“I mean it. You’re mine. I’m keeping you, Suguru, I refuse to go through this bullshit again.” His fingers dig deeper and Satoru leans into him. Presses their foreheads together and rubs his nose against Suguru’s.

His face is sticky with drying semen and saliva. He’s always wondered how Satoru would just freely touch him.

There’s part of him that wants to run away. Suguru has a life ( you don’t like it) and a purpose ( you don’t believe in it ), he has his girls ( Satoru would love them, Satoru would take care of them ), he’s a wanted criminal ( Satoru would take his side ), and the sheer scandal of it would be horrific ( Satoru would take care of you ).

Logically, he knows this is a horrible idea (let your alpha take care of you).

Still, he cannot deny the sense of peace that settles over him at the thought. He sighs and feels himself relaxing, like his muscles are unwinding threads, loose and warm. 

The worst of his heat is all pain and nausea, and he sweats it out in the night. Fever shakes and achy bones. Satoru holds him through it, lets him sit on his dick and rocks into him gently, because he’s all sensitive and his skin feels like it’s burning. Satoru still won’t knot him, though, and doesn’t let him cum, so all he’s allowed to do is sit there and ride him until his thighs burn, tightening around him but not actually getting any sort of completion.

“Are you really, really close, babe?” Satoru asks him while he’s riding, and he’s not really coherent enough to answer with words so he just nods. They’re in the living room, and Satoru’s leaning back on his nice fancy couch while Suguru’s riding him. When he realizes Suguru’s close, he puts a hand on his hips to stop him and pinches his clit, throws him off the buildup he was getting and effectively ruins his fun. “Right, then you can get just stop what you’re doing and get on your knees, alright?”

“Satoru, I need –“

“No, you don’t. You don’t need to cum. You just want to. And I just don’t want to let you.” He presses a little kiss on Suguru’s collarbone and slaps his ass. “Come on. On your knees.” He very nearly pouts at him, frustrated and upset.  

Suguru’s knees hit the floor of Satoru’s living room, and he keeps his legs open while he sucks him off. Drips slick on the floor. Satoru’s hand on the back of his head.

Being denied just makes him even more desperate to please, so instead of sneaking his hand between his legs or trying to rub his thighs together, he kneels with his legs spread, keeps one hand on Satoru’s abdomen and the other has their fingers laced. And he sucks him as best as he can despite the shakiness and the desperation he feels, telling himself he needs to do a good job to please his Alpha.

Suguru feels fully immersed in it, he wants to use his body in whatever way fits best to serve. Part of it is instinct, but he thinks part of it is just who he is and how he responds to Satoru and Satoru only.  

He’s in this weird half-space in which his hormones are bubbling and smoldering, but it’s not bad enough to actually ache or hurt, so it’s bearable. He’s horny, though, in a way that’s not induced by his heat hormones. Maybe it’s just Satoru and his pheromones that make him like that. It’s either terrible or it’s wonderful, he’s not sure which it is yet.

They’re having breakfast the next morning and Satoru’s talking to him. They’re in the kitchen and Suguru realizes he isn’t able to focus on one goddamn word Satoru says because his brain is mush and he just blinks. He sits up from the table and turns on the tap to get himself water, but he spaces out in front of the sink and there’s a wave slick trickling down his legs.

Satoru notices and snaps his fingers in front of Suguru’s face a couple of times, until he focuses on him.

“Babe? Suguru? Earth to Suguru, look at me.”

“Huh?”

Satoru snorts and shakes his head.

“God, I almost forgot how out of it you get when you’re like this.”

He shudders when Satoru touches his face and drags his hands down his throat and collarbones. Pushes his robe off of his shoulders. He ends up being bent over and fucked against the kitchen counter, pressing his face against the cool marble. Satoru’s cock feels so good.

“I’m going to stop taking my suppressants,” Satoru tells him. Stops thrusting, but soaks his dick inside him, lets Suguru’s swollen walls clench around him.

“Hmmm, won’t that cause you to go into a rut?”

“In a day or two, probably. Especially with you being here and leaking all over the place.” He grabs Suguru’s hair and pulls him in close, head bent to the side, biting and sucking at his scent glands. “I haven’t had a completely unmedicated rut in ages, you know. Probably since I presented.”

Satoru never fully stopped taking his suppressants, he just took smaller and smaller doses to ease himself into his ruts. A bit like being extra horny and slightly more Alpha, nothing too crazy.

“Are you gonna go feral on me, Satoru?”

He growls in Suguru’s ear.

“Is that what you want? Do you want me to rough you up? Want me to put you in your place like the bad, little omega that you are?”

“Fuck.” Satoru gives him a hard thrust, but he’s so turned on and wet all over that there’s no friction at all. Making a little puddle on the tiles beneath them.

“Tell me what you want.”

Satoru’s big hand on his throat.

“I want you to hurt me.”  

He wants to suffer for Satoru, like the pain’s supposed to make everything sweeter afterwards. The overwhelming push, and the teeth gritting Just-A-Little-More-Do-It-For-Alpha push is rewarding, even when he’s ashamed of it afterwards.

Satoru laughs, though, and it makes him flush all over, makes him thrash in his grip only for it to tighten. Pulls his head back so far that he makes Suguru’s spine bend, pushes at his throat and chin until he can look at Satoru in the eye.

“God, you’re so fucked up, Suguru. I love you so much.” He spits in his mouth and Suguru swallows it and licks his lips, like it’s a kiss.

They lay next to each other in bed and don’t talk. Satoru runs his fingers through Suguru’s hair, and it feels nice and soft. Like when they were in high school together. Satoru used to braid his hair. It was nice.

They don’t really talk, because it’s hard to find things to say. Everything feels like it’s loaded. Any actual conversation is a minefield. Suguru keeps spacing out every hour or so, so it’s easier to just let Satoru fuck him without talking about anything.

He wakes up in the middle of the night, shaking and frustrated, and he wants to talk but can’t. Satoru’s sitting in bed next to him and he’s awake, reading something on his iPad that he puts away as soon as he sees Suguru’s awake. 

“Hey, it’s fine, it’s fine. Let me take care of it.”

Face down in the mattress, Satoru holds him with a hand on the back of his neck and thrusts into him, these long smooth thrusts that feel like breathing air into a dying man, each time close and close, gasping and moaning. He knows he’s not allowed to cum until Satoru wants him to so he doesn’t really focus on letting pressure build, he just enjoys the sparks of it for what they are. Soothing and lulling. Lets himself drift off into this lush daze. Feels how Satoru edges himself inside him several times before he cums over his thighs.

He wishes Satoru would knot him. Misses the feeling of it. Satoru presses his knot between Suguru’s pussy lips and he lets him feel how hard he is. He sighs and starts rutting against it, dragging his vulva over it. It feels best when his clit drags over the curve of his knot.  

“ Put it back in,” he complains.

“ Rude .” Satoru gives his ass a slap. It stings a little and makes him grind against his knot faster. “Let’s try again.”

“Ugh. Put it back in, please ?”

So Satoru turns him around, and spreads his thighs over, pulls him in closer and without missing a beat, his cock is inside Suguru’s pussy, filling him up, keeps fucking him, pushing in right up to the knot, Suguru feels it pressing against his rim. Like Satoru’s trying to force his knot inside him from the outside. Pounding into him and stretching.

“Please – please, please, please, I’m – ” this isn’t enough, nothing feels like it’s enough. He should be happy with whatever he’s getting, he should be satisfied with it, but it isn’t enough. He needs more. He wants Satoru to fuck his way straight through his brain and into his soul.

"Don’t forget you’re only allowed to cum when I say so." Satoru bends down over Suguru and kisses his cheek, and he nods desperately in agreement. Then, he puts a hand around Suguru’s thigh and pulls him in sharply.

Suguru’s breath catches in his throat and then he cries out. His sight goes white and all his goddamn nerves fire up at the same time, sparking and shooting and electric. He’s not sure if it’s good or not, but there’s just so much of it.

“Satoru, Satoru, please , that’s – ”

Please, stop. Please, more.

He’s not sure which it’s supposed to be. He tries to buck, but Satoru winces and puts a hand on his hip, uses his thumb to roll circles over his clit until the sharpness subsides.

“ Shh , I got you, okay?”

He realizes Satoru’s knot is about halfway inside him, like he was trying to squeeze it in, but it won’t fit. Not like that. He’s got tears in his eyes, it’s a combination of frustration and pain.

“I want your knot inside.” He reaches down and spreads his pussy-lips open, trying to keep his legs wider. “Push it in.”

“I don’t think it’ll fit like this, baby.”

“Make it fit!”

As much as it hurts, it also just feels good, like it was the exact kind of pain he wanted. There’s a fine line between being in pain for someone and being in pain just for the sake of it. Letting Satoru hurt him is like an act of devotion.

"Hmmmm. Lets do it like this, then. Tell me if I’m hurting you, okay?" 

There’s a flash of pain and pressure and feeling like he’s being pulled apart. Feels raw. Anyone else trying to knot him from the outside like that, forcing their knot fully-formed inside of him? He’d absolutely kill them. But it’s Satoru, and Satoru’s allowed, because Satoru owns his holes and he wants Satoru to ruin them. Like a penance.

And it’s something his body craves, so he grits his teeth and fists his hands in the bed-sheet while Satoru keeps pushing in slowly. He keeps his thumb on Suguru’s clit and rubs, it coos at him and winces himself when Suguru’s pussy clamps around him.

“Fuck, you’re way too tight for this to work.”

“Just keep going. Keep going .”

You’re not meant to knot someone from the outside, and you’re not meant to fuck them like that, either. You’re supposed to stay in place and just soak in whatever bonding chemicals flow between you. Supposedly, you’re both satisfied and way too tired for it.

Satoru gives small, slow thrusts, feels how his knot’s dragging inside him – makes him want to lock around it. His walls keep contracting around it, this strange sort of pleasure-pain that he wants to push into and squirm away from.

Satoru collapses onto him, keeps them pressed chest to chest, holds his cheeks in his hands. Presses his forehead against his. He lays on top of him and just breathes him in, until both of them settle into this weird, soft calm, where every movement makes both of them flinch and gasp. Breathe hitching.

When Satoru rolls his hips, it’s like fingering live wires and licking batteries. Brings tears to his eyes. And when he pulls out, it feels sore. Aching. But good.

Satoru doesn’t say anything to him, just moves down his body and puts his mouth between his legs, tongue dipping inside his hole like he wants to apologize for hurting him. Feels like he’s wrung out, though, like he doesn’t have any feelings left in his body anymore.

The attention’s nice, though. Soothing. He puts his legs over Satoru’s shoulders and a hand on his head to run his fingers through his hair. He lets himself drift off, mind blank. Comes back to himself in peace and pieces.

“I would have gone with you, if you asked.”

It feels like the first honest thing they have said to each other in years and years.

“I know.”

“Why didn’t you ask?”

“Why didn’t you?”

And Satoru doesn’t answer and neither does Suguru, because both know the answer to it. You would have resented me if I did.   

Suguru raises himself on his elbow and looks at Satoru with heavy lidded eyes. 

“Humor me then, Satoru. Would you have been happy to live on the run with me?” 

“Are you happy?” 

“That’s not what I asked.” 

Satoru looks at him with a smile that’s too mean for his face. Looks off. 

“You’re such a goddamn hypocrite, Suguru. How are you gonna beg for me to knot you and then shut me out like this when we talk?”

He knows Satoru’s upset with him because he sits up and leaves the room. Goes to the bathroom and closes the door behind him, not that Suguru would have the energy to go after him. 

It stings to know that Satoru went to wash off the scent of them, especially after making it a point to mark Suguru so many times. He wonders if Satoru sleeps with other people, if he knots other people. Jealousy flares inside him so intensely his vision spots from it, but he also starts leaking from it, his scent so much stronger than before. He can’t help himself. 

And because Satoru’s not there, he reaches between his legs and starts rubbing circles over his clit. His hole still aches a little from being used. He doesn’t even really want to cum anymore, just wants stimulation

But he keeps thinking about Satoru fucking other people. Utahime or Shoko or Mei, or some nameless faceless person that catches his eye. Wonders how many people he’s fucked in this nice bed Suguru’s currently rolling in. 

You let dozens of people fuck you. 

But that’s different . He never cared about any of them. Actively despised them! Satoru’s not allowed to fuck other people. Satoru’s his. His Alpha. His . Suguru’s. 

Suddenly, it’s like a goddamn wave of feelings that he spent so much time keeping at bay, and now it’s overwhelming. The thought of Satoru touching someone else is unacceptable. Makes him nauseous. By the times Satoru comes out of the shower, he’s so upset he starts growling, and Satoru has to pin him to the mattress to calm him down. 

Being an omega is the fucking worse. 

Chapter Text

Gojo Satoru does not think of himself as a masochist. Because of that, he has always done his best to get over Suguru, and he used to think he’d done a pretty good job at it. As good of a job as any alpha that lost his mate did, at least he stopped envisioning Suguru in his bed after a year or two. 

This whole arrangement is messing him up good and well, because he can’t help but look at Suguru, stretching over his sheets, looking dazed and glowing with pleasure, and feels a deep ache in his heart. In places he thought were too scarred up for feeling anything anymore.

“I would have gone with you, if you asked.”

That’s dangerous shit to say, but it’s true. Satoru is not in the habit of lying to himself, and he’s spent more than enough time in his own head to realize that, as much as he would have hated that life, he still would have gone with Suguru if he had asked. 

Sometimes he blames it on biology, because Suguru met him when he was a half-feral, needy dog and trained him on how to be patient and tender. Suguru loved him and needed him in a way no one else ever did, and Satoru latched onto his affection so hard, and returned just as passionately.  

“I know.”

Separating yourself from your chosen mate is just so goddamn painful. Alpha and omegas aren’t meant to go through that, there’s an instinctual need to crawl back to your lover no matter the circumstance.

“Why didn’t you ask?”

“Why didn’t you ?”

Suguru raises himself on his elbow and looks at Satoru with heavy lidded eyes. 

“Humor me then, Satoru. Would you have been happy to live on the run with me?” 

No, he wouldn’t have been. Happiness wasn’t the point . 

“Are you happy?” 

“That’s not what I asked.” 

Satoru growls. 

“You’re such a goddamn hypocrite, Suguru. How are you gonna beg for me to knot you and then shut me out like this when we talk?”

He doesn’t even look at Suguru, just gets up from bed and goes straight to the bathroom. Closes the door behind himself and hops into the shower so he can let lukewarm water cool him off. 

The truth is, he resents Suguru a little, because he had been so willing to put both of them through all that misery. Went off and fucked up his life without thinking of the consequences it would have on both of them. Abandoned Satoru and the life they could have had together, and never once thought about asking him to join him. Effectively cut himself out of Satoru’s life without ever asking Satoru how he felt about it. 

Suguru is a self-righteous martyr. He probably thought he was doing the right thing, sparing Satoru the choice and letting him live his life freely and independently from him.

Hah. Freely . 

There’s no freedom to be had when your heart and soul and body have already decided to tie themselves to someone unequivocally. Suguru severed that bond on his side only, and it left Satoru untethered. 

In the months after Suguru left, he had been forced to take fistfuls of suppressants just to keep the raw, feral side of him somewhat under control, because his emotions were just so fucking wild. He remembers the way Tsukumo had to pin him down just for Shoko to gag him and sedate him, because was growling and snarling and aggressive, jumping at people to bite them if they so much as breathed in his general direction. Had to wear a fucking muzzle for weeks , until they found the right dosage and combination of suppressants to keep him somewhat in check.   

Suguru’s presence used to soothe him whenever he was around, and his cursed energy, his scent, his pheromones, all of them acted together like a balm over his hypersensitive senses. Suguru used to be a grounding force to him, made him calmer, softened his edges simply by being there to hold his hand. Satoru used to lean into Suguru’s personal space, nuzzle against the back of his head, and breathe in the wonderful scent of him. 

When Suguru left, he was unable to regulate his own emotions for a while. Shoko said it was common. Alpha-omega mating bonds worked like that, complicated combinations of amino-acids and hormones and neuropeptides creating a cocktail of chemicals inside their brains. It was like getting addicted to someone else’s presence so strongly that being close to them became a biological imperative, and being away from each other made you go into withdrawal. 

Right now, with Suguru in the other room and the scent of his heat clinging to Satoru’s skin, he feels better than he has in years, and he’s annoyed that it takes so little to make him happy again. He wants to lean into this comfort, but he can’t get the image of Suguru being held down and fucked by other alphas out of his head. It’s another level of betrayal, deep and piercing, and killing those men did very little to alleviate the sting of it. He grits his teeth and snarls and punches the wall of his shower cabin.

Annoying. He should have been over this. 

Never, ever, ever, he’s yours, he’s your omega, he belongs to you, no one else should have ever touched him, how dare they, how dare - 

Fuck. 

He finds himself biting into his forearm just so he doesn’t put his fist through the wall. 

The water running down his back is cool and washes off some of his sweat, washes off the sticky slick and cum. It’s not something alphas usually do, the messy fluid exchange that happens during heats and ruts is just delicious to them. Not something you’d wash off. 

There’s a part of Satoru that wants to scrub himself clean of it, use some strong soap too just to neutralize the scent, not because he doesn’t like it, but because he wants to hurt Suguru a little with it. 

Feels like being cruel. 

He closes his eyes and runs his fingers through his wet hair, scratches at his scalp, and wants to reject Suguru just to see him beg for Satoru’s forgiveness all over again. He thinks about how Suguru smelled when he found him in that house, that even though other alphas had used him, he still smelled like Suguru and no one else, like any other scent just dripped off his body and refused to stick to him. 

And he smelled like he was miserable, like he was in agony and it got even worse when he realized that Satoru’s infinity blocked him from touching. 

And Satoru couldn’t take that, he couldn’t stand the thought of hurting Suguru. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have gone out looking for you at all,” he says to no one, frustrated. 

He turns off the water and pats himself dry, opens up the medicine cabinet and takes out his suppressants. He has two different bottles and he’s supposed to take one of each, every morning and every evening. He’s missed three of his doses already and he’s feeling the effects of it, and Suguru’s heat is only pushing him further and further into his rut. At this point, a rut is inevitable, but a fully unmedicated one kinda seems like a bad idea. 

He opens the pill bottle, but instead of taking one, he throws them down into the toilet and flushes them away. 

Shoko’s gonna kill him, but he just doesn't care at this point. Part of him is curious to see what’s gonna happen if they go at it raw like that.

He can smell Suguru in the other room, the enticing sweetness of his heat and the raw need. It’s been two days and his heat just hasn't broken at all - maybe it’s Satoru’s fault for keeping him on edge so much, maybe it’s just his body reacting to Satoru’s proximity since they’ve been away from each other for so long. He knows for sure he’s been feeling it, the insane feral lust that’s near impossible to rid off. Satoru can even tell when Suguru’s scent spikes into momentary distress and then heats up again.

Satoru chuckles. 

He goes back into the room and finds Suguru touching himself, hand between his thighs and playing with himself. 

“Suguru – whatcha doing there? Did I say you’re allowed to do that?” 

But Suguru snarls at him, and his eyes are all blown up and it’s quite clear he's going through a fever spike. Suguru wants to throw himself at Satoru, so he has to pin him down to the mattress, holding his wrists above his head and pinning him with his lower body. Satoru thinks this is very disrespectful behavior from his omega. 

“Fuck. You’re such a nasty fucking slut, babe, you couldn’t even wait for me to get back?”

Suguru hisses at him again and tries to buck him off, but Satoru puts a hand on his throat and pushes his chin up. He leans over him and licks his throat, right over his scent glands, licks off his sweat and pheromones and then bites him, his alpha fangs piercing through Suguru’s skin. At first, Suguru gasps and trashes, but it quickly turns into moans, a new wave of slick dripping between his legs. 

Omegas love being bitten by their alphas, and Suguru melts in pleasure when he feels it. He opens his legs willingly and raises his hips to try to rub himself against his alpha. When Satoru pulls away from him, he looks down on him and sees him - so beautiful. Suguru’s eyes are fever bright, his chest and lips and face are flushed with blood, there’s a trinkle of drool from the side of his mouth and he’s panting. 

“ Alpha - it hurts.” 

“Yeah, I know,” he says, grips his cock and rubs the head of it up and down Suguru’s wet slit, slaps the head of it over his swollen clit, “I’ll make it all better.”

He can’t help himself, he’s getting more and more desperate for Suguru as his rut comes closer and closer. Satoru thrusts inside him in one go, a smooth long stroke, from tip to hilt, and when he’s fully sheathed, he takes a second just to moan at the incredible feeling of being inside him. 

Fuck, unfair, fucking unfair, Suguru’s pussy feels like heaven, feels like he’s finally home again after being away from him for so long. He throws his head back and groans, and Suguru’s legs are around his middle and they pull him in closer. Satoru thrusts into him without bothering to think about any sort of rhythm, just puts his hand on Suguru’s hips and fucks him how it feels good, long, slow strokes and then deep short one, not meant for either of them to get off on it, but just savour it. 

He’s mesmerized by the feeling of him. 

“Alpha, does my pussy feel good?” Suguru’s voice is so sweet and desperate. It makes Satoru’s heart seize. 

“Yeah, baby, feels really good, feels perfect around my cock”

Suguru clenches around him, purposefully, and it makes Satoru grit his teeth at how good it feels. Tight. Suguru. Suguru. He realizes he’s not gonna last long, not at all, he’s too hot about it this time around.

“Alpha, please knot me - please knot me,” Suguru sobs, opens his eyes to look at Satoru and there’s tears running down the side of his face, “I can’t stand you being upset with me.” 

He’s sure he had some sort of a good reason to hold out on him until them, but the second he hears Suguru begging him so sweetly, tears running down his face while his body so gladly takes Satoru in, letting himself be used – Any sort of reason he had for it feels extremely meaningless, and all he wants to do is melt inside him, brand Suguru as his again and never let him got.

Satoru leans over him and puts a hand on his jaw, runs his thumb over his lips and kisses him. He licks into Suguru mouth, lets saliva drip inside, slams his hips into his repeatedly. Suguru’s pussy is so wet, makes wet, squelching noises as Satoru fucks into him, each thrust pushing him further and further into this wild, ecstatic sort of pleasure.

“Alpha, alpha - Satoru . Please let me cum. Please let me cum, I can’t stand it anymore, Sato ruuu -” 

“Alright then, alright - but you have to cum around my cock, okay? No extra help.”

Suguru nods, and Satoru grabs him by his wrists again and forces them above his head. He holds Suguru in place, touches their foreheads together and rubs their noses to each other. Suguru's breath is wet over his mouth, he bites Satoru’s lip instead of kissing him. When he tries to close his eyes against the mounting waves of pleasure, Satoru slaps his cheek.

“Don’t close your eyes. Look at me.”

“Yes, Alpha, yes, yes ,”

Satoru slaps him again before kissing him, and fucking into him until he feels his knot swelling. Unlike before, this time he doesn’t pull out, he just fucks Suguru deeper.

"You ready, baby? You ready for my knot?" 

Suguru can’t even talk, he just cums around Satoru’s cock, shaking everywhere and rolling his eyes backwards. He squirts fluid along with Satoru’s thrusts, gets the bed underneath them drenched and when Satoru’s knot swells inside him to lock them together, his pussy just clenches and contracts around it, milking everything out of him.

Suguru gets all blissed out and cum-drunk from it too, his omega biology responding to Satoru’s pheromones. The second he starts pumping cum inside him, his brain gets flooded by happy chemicals, he gets hazy and content and starts purring. It's really lovely to see, and experience, because his scent goes all sweet and happy, and Satoru can't help but nuzzle into it. 

"I forgot how sweet you get after I fill you up," he says, peppering his throat and jaw with kisses, feeling Suguru’s purs in his chest.

"Alpha~ Thank you, Alpha, thank you, thank you"

The problem with Satoru’s biology is that no matter how upset he gets with Suguru, he's always going to turn into a whipped mush for him. Can't help himself. That's his mate.

Alphas are just as needy as omegas are, and a huge part of who they are just hinges on their ability to make their mates all glowy and happy, purring with contentment like Suguru is now. He can't help but feel like this is his role, this is what he was meant to do - protect Suguru, make him happy, fill him up with his cum and breed him full of pups. 

He was always supposed to protect Suguru and take care of him. It's an alpha's job to make sure their omega is happy and taken care of, and he’s the one that failed at that, and he'll never forgive himself for not seeing it before it happened. 

"Suguru, Suguru, Suguru~"

He finds himself pushing his knot deeper inside Suguru, trying to fuck him with it even though it hurts both of them to do it. Suguru’s pussy is too tight and he’s too big for it, but he can’t help himself, he needs more of him, needs to be inside him so deep…

He needs to get Suguru pregnant, he needs to see Suguru carrying his pups, he needs everyone to know that Suguru is unequivocally his and no other alpha is allowed to touch him. 

Satoru’s mind starts getting cloudy, more and more feral with each passing second. He starts biting every inch of Suguru he can reach, leaving marks and bruises everywhere. Suguru cums around his knot again and he drips onto the sheets, and Satoru groans deeply. 

Suguru’s pussy keeps begging for his cum, and his dick responds in kind, pumping him full of semen, breeding him - fuck . It's so good his toes curl and his eyes roll back, so good, nothing feels as good as breeding his omega, this is what both of them were meant to be, isn't it? Fitting together perfectly. 

"Alpha, alpha, thank you, thank you for breeding me, thank you, Satoru, it feel so good~" 

His chest rumbles at the praise, finds himself purring even though he hasn't done it in years. Suguru keeps running his hands over his back, and the back of his head, and he keeps thanking Satoru and telling him how grateful he is and how good he's making him feel, and it’s just so disarming, he really can't think about anything other than pleasing him.

When his knot deflates enough, he pulls out of Suguru and a combination of semen and slick comes out too, dripping sluggishly out of Suguru’s vagina. Satoru wipes him with his fingers and then licks them clean. 

Satoru’s rut is taking hold of him more and more, and it’s making his mouth water at the smell and Suguru’s pheromones. The amount of control Suguru’s body has over him is crazy, his omega could have played him around his fingers for years, but Suguru just…didn't want him. Picked his makeshift family over Satoru they could have had together. 

He'll never get over the rejection of it, and his inner alpha roars. It's bruised pride and heartbreak, shit that scabbed over but now they ripped it all up again. 

"Satoru?"

He snarls at him in response, but Suguru just reaches out to him and caresses the side of his face gently. Instinctively, he starts nuzzling against the palm of his hand, craving affection so deeply he'd be embarrassed with himself if he wasn't in his hormonal state. He puts his hand over Suguru’s, turns his head to the side and kisses his palm, licks the pulse point on his wrist.

He wants to taste every inch of him, mark him as his own all over again.

"I wanna fuck pups inside you." 

"Yes, please, Alpha." 

Logically, he knows Suguru has to be on some sort of very strong birth control, but his rut-addled brain doesn't care, his instincts are telling him that he'll be able to breed him through it regardless. He slaps his cock against Suguru's cunt, and drags it up and down his slit. 

Satoru suddenly feels overcome with a need to taste him, so he lays on the bed and makes Suguru straddle his face and grab onto the headboard. He puts his hands on Suguru’s thighs and brings him down to his mouth. He lets Suguru grind against his tongue. Swipe his clit against his nose. Satoru dips his tongue into his cunt to taste him. Drags his nails over Suguru’s ass, slaps his buttocks to make him shout in surprise.

His face is a mess and Suguru starts moving faster, erratic, letting himself be fucked by Satoru's tongue while babbling praises at him.

“You’re so good at this, I missed you so much, I missed you so much," he sounds dazed, “You’re going to make me come again, Alpha, I’m so close, can I? Can I cum, Satoru?”

Satoru holds his cock in a loose grip, wanting something to ease the pressure, if only for a second. He's going to lose his mind over Suguru before being able to knot him again.

He focuses on licking and sucking on his clit until he feels the muscles in his core spasming and clenching, until Suguru moans, low and throaty. Suguru rides out the waves of his orgasm until he almost falls off him and lands on the bed with a woosh.

Satoru licks the taste off his lips, wipes his chin and cheeks of excess moisture and sits up to look at him. Suguru’s eyes are closed but his brows are furrowed, and he is catching his breath with big gulps of air. He swallows deeply. There's a fine sheet of sweat on his body, and when Satoru touches the dips between his ribs, a shiver goes through his whole frame. Long, dark eyelashes flutter open, and Suguru smiles at him, blissful adoration written plainly on his beautiful face.

Satoru moves closer and kisses him, letting him taste himself on his lips. 

"Say, 'Thank you, for letting me ride your face.'"

Suguru flushes and laughs. 

"Thank you for letting me ride your face, alpha."

"You're welcome, baby," he says and grabs him by the ankle. Suguru yelps when he's pulled him closer, forces his legs open and puts one over his shoulder, presses a kiss against the side of his knee. “What should I do to you next?”

Suguru gasps when he feels the head of his cock rubbing against his entrance, not pushing inside yet but catching against his labia.

He slaps Suguru’s thighs repeatedly, makes his flesh bounce until it's red and warm, and then grabs him. He digs his fingers in Suguru’s flesh and jiggles him, moves down to his ass and spreads his cheeks. 

"I gonna fuck your slutty pussy till you beg me to stop,” he starts pushing inside of him slowly, centimeter by centimeter, so Suguru can enjoy the sensation of being filled up by him, completely “I won’t stop until you cry for me,” once he’s completely inside, a shudder rocks his core and Suguru gasps underneath him.

When he starts moving, it’s slow at first, because he wants to enjoy the tight drag of him around his cock. With Suguru’s leg over his shoulder like that, there’s no room for him to move, he can do little more than lay there and moan.

“Fuck, that’s so deep, Alpha,” his eyes are closed and head pushed back, “You feel so huge. Please fuck me faster,” How is he supposed to refuse when Suguru begs for him so readily?

“Suguru’s slutty little pussy is sucking me in so well, look at it - so hungry for my cock,” Satoru’s voice sounds so raw and rumbly. 

He puts a hand on Suguru’s throat and tightens his grip on him, until Suguru gasps. He keeps the same pace, hips thrusting forward, hitting all the spots inside, makes Suguru’s eyes roll in pleasure. He seems too out of it, Satoru loosens his grip on his throat and slaps his face twice. 

“Look at me while I’m fucking you,” he thrusts into Suguru harder to make him gasp, make his cunt drip slick all over his cock and clench around him, “Can’t have you forgetting who this little hole of yours belongs to,”

Satoru pulls out of him completely and spits on his pussy, letting saliva drip over his clit and between his folds. He smacks Suguru’s  pussy repeatedly while he keeps his hand on his throat to keep him in place. Suguru starts struggling in his grip, his arms and legs and the muscles in his abdomen tensing and tightening as Satoru repeatedly slaps his pussy over and over, in the exact same spot, until he’s sobbing from it, waves of slick dripping down from his hole despite the pain.  

He stops slapping and pinches Suguru’s clit, fiddles with it and rubs over it in deep circles. His cries turn to gasps when he’s teetering on the edge of orgasm. When Suguru’s body tenses with the first ripples of orgasm - biting lip, fluttering lashes, tense hips, pleasure starting to ignite in his body -  Satoru pulls away again to slap his clit even harder. 

“Remember how you were tied up there in that room to let strangers have their way with you?” he asks as he spanks Suguru’s cunt, letting his palm smack against his swollen clit, “You want me to forgive you, right? Be a good omega for me and take it.” He says as Suguru struggles against him. 

Satoru has to keep him pinned down against the mattress firmly, makes eye-contact with him as he keeps his legs wide and spanks him there again, and again, and again, until Suguru’s eyes are full of tears and his pussy gushes fluid with each slap.  It gets his cock burning hard, throbbing and dripping - so ready to breed him again, but he’s not sure if he wants to keep hitting him or make him squirt all over himself.

“Alpha - Satoru - please - ”

Suguru’s sweat and skin tastes different from the pain, and it turns him into a raging, ravaging animal to feel it. He slams into him, taking him at a brutal pace, holding him against the bed with his fangs diggins in throat as he growls. It takes very little to get Suguru thrashing and pulsating around his dick again, coming undone beautifully before him. Gushing wet and sobbing. 

He fucks him like he could make up for lost time. 

Suguru falls asleep in his arms, using his chest as a pillow, Satoru’s fingers running through his hair. He nuzzles in his sleep, burrowing deeper into Satoru’s arms, his body seeking comfort from his alpha. Satoru feels his own chest rumbling, instinctively, and he holds Suguru as close as he can, just to make sure he feels as secure as possible.

He himself can’t sleep, can’t close his eyes and disconnect enough for it. All his senses are on high alert, his stupid alpha brain thinking up all these scenarios where someone could come in and hurt Suguru, take him away from him, separate them again. 

Rut puts him in high alert, like he needs to protect his mate and keep him safe even if he logically knows that nothing could ever happen to Suguru while he’s with him in that state. It's been such a long time since he's felt this, he almost forgot the feeling. Thought it was something he dreamt up in his youth.

It's not like he was completely celibate during the years that he and Suguru were apart, that’s not true. He tried sleeping with other people too, but it never worked out properly. He got hard enough to fuck, he was just never able to cum with anyone else, much less knot anyone that wasn't Suguru.

He took home omegas with long, black hair and fucked them from behind so he could imagine it was Suguru, but they never smelled right, sounded right, never felt right around his cock. It  always ended up being a disappointing, humiliating affair, saying " it's not you, it's me ". Trying to get over Suguru only ended up making him sadder, trying to alleviate his loneliness and physical neediness only made everything worse.

And now, finally, finally , after such a long time, he finally gets to hold him in his arms again. 

His dick twitches, and the desperate heat of ruts hits him all over again. He rolls Suguru on his back and kisses his sleeping mouth to wake him up. Instead of fully waking up, Suguru opens his eyes once and then closes them back again. 

"Satoru…" His voice is breathy and sleepy, and Satoru moves to kiss his cheek and puts a hand between his legs. Suguru’s cunt is wet, and Satoru starts rubbing his cock against his pussy.

"Shhh, it's okay,  I just wanted - " he presses the head of his cock at Suguru’s entrance and pushes inside of him, groans when he feels him around his cock, "Suguru feels so good, takes me so well." 

He fucks Suguru slow and deep, pressed down against his body and swallowing his moans. Suguru doesn't even open his eyes, just lets Satoru use him for his release. 

Suguru orgasms around his cock again, squirming and shuddering from overstimulation.

“Fuck, fuck . I'm gonna knot you again, babe. Fill you up real good.”

Suguru’s body is so welcoming. He's so open for him and sighs and his eyelashes flutter closed. All thoughts in his head are replaced with this intense need to give Suguru anything and everything he ever wants or need. Everything that's in his power to give.

He can’t say anything, can’t think about anything else. Like his mind is ablaze with want and need and love. Satoru sinks his teeth into the flesh of Suguru’s bruised shoulder. Suguru gasps, shudders beneath him, and his body tightens, tightens around Suguru cock as he is coming inside him, his knot filling up and locking them together.

He's always unprepared for it, for the intense feeling of connection, the intimacy of it. He feels raw, scraped out and exposed. Fuck, why is he feeling so fragile? His hands are shaking. 

“Suguru.” He shouldn't trust himself with words, who knows what he might say? 

"Suguru, I wanna hold you, let me just…" 

He takes Suguru’s thigh and puts it around his middle, then he snakes his hands underneath Suguru and hugs him tight. 

"Put your hands around me, Suguru." 

Suguru embraces him and hides his face in the crook of his shoulder. And maybe it has something to do with his Alpha instincts being in overdrive, the way he can feel Suguru's scent mixed with his own, his bedroom where he never had anyone over starting to feel like a nest - everything together soothes something in him, and he finally falls asleep like that, deep inside Suguru, knotted together.

Back when they were in school, they got sent on a mission together far into the countryside. It was supposed to be simple and straight to the point, but it dragged on longer than expected, and they were cooped in that country inn for too long. 

Satoru wakes up one morning, and feeling as if things around him are different, like everything smells sweet, makes him want to put out his tongue like a snake to taste the air. It takes him too long to realize what it is, and what he is smelling is Suguru, the scent of his heat, strong enough that he can feel it through the wall, the cracks in his door, his windows, everywhere. Can’t escape him, like Suguru’s scent is permeating through the walls, calling out to him. 

He has to jerk off twice before feeling remotely sane enough to drag himself out of bed to get dressed, and then he’s at a loss again. He has no idea what the etiquette is when it comes to dealing with omegas in heat. Both of Satoru’s parents are alphas, and they’re callous when it comes to omegas. Most of the advice they give about dealing with omegas proves to be utterly worthless when he tries applying it to Suguru. 

Instead, he does the only thing he can possibly do at that moment  - he picks up his phone and calls Shoko. 

“Suguru’s in heat in the next room, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.” 

“ Shit, he’s probably reached the working limit of his suppressant again, that’s what’s happening there. You guys are just going to have to camp there until this passes. There's no way he’ll be able to leave until it’s over, Suguru’s heats are pretty brutal. ” 

“What do you mean by ‘pretty brutal’ ?”

“You know. He’s in a lot of pain. Gets really, really feverish and sick.” 

“Oh. Really? I thought heats were just about getting really horny for a while.” 

“ What? No! Why do alphas always act like such knotheads? Omegas try to tell alphas that heats are painful all the time, it’s just that you assholes romanticize it so much you forget about the pain and fever aspect of it. ” 

“Well, jeez, Shoko, way to make me feel bad. I didn’t know,” A beat between them, “Is there anything I can do to help out?” 

“Are you asking that genuinely or are you being a fucking creep? I know you’ve had a boner for Suguru for ages, I don't think I trust you on this.”

Satoru feels absolutely offended, and tells her so. 

“Do you think I’m the kind of guy that would take advantage of someone during their heat? That’s fucking insulting, Shoko.” 

She sighs, and he hears her take a long breath on the other end of the phone. Lighting up a cigarette.

“I don’t think you’d take advantage of him, but I know that Suguru in his heat is not really in his right mind. It’s a really bad combo.”

“But you said he’s in pain - ” 

In the end, Shoko caves. She makes him film himself while taking a handful of his really strong suppressants just to keep any horny urges at bay, and then she sends him a long list of medicine and supplies that he’s supposed to buy. She tells him to go to the nearest pharmacy and buys everything from there. 

He also has a very embarrassing meet-up with their auxiliary manager, and he has to explain their situation with him. No, they can’t leave because of Suguru’s heat. No, they can’t leave him there. Yes, they have to wait it out. Yes, he’s free to do whatever he wants in the meantime. 

He goes to the pharmacy and buys a whole bunch of supplies, both medicine and… toys… and he has to pretend very very hard they’re not in the bag because he feels too embarrassed to think that he’s going to go offer Suguru a platonic bag of knotting dildos. The pharmacist looks at him and is able to read his discomfort. She’s an older woman, and she sighs. 

“Don’t worry. Omegas go into heat unexpectedly all the time, especially when they’re young. There’s really nothing to worry about, and I’m sure you’ll do fine .” 

“Oh. Me? What’s this got to do with me, I’m not….” 

She gives him a look . 

“Oh, we’re not like that. We’re not together.” 

“You don’t have to be, but heat is heat. Omegas fare better with alphas around, alpha pheromones calm them and it works better than the painkillers. If you’re uncomfortable being around them physically, just throw one of your shirts in the bag too.”

So Satoru ends up in front of Suguru’s door, deep breath, and he knocks on the door. Nothing happens, and there’s no noise coming from inside. He tries again and it’s the same thing. 

“Hey, Suguru? You alright in there? I just brought you some things, Shoko said it might help!” 

And when he gets no response, he waits a little while until trying again. He’s a little worried that Suguru’s not answering. 

“Suguru - listen. I’m gonna come in to check on you, okay?” 

No answer, not even a protest, so Satoru gets inside the room and he’s immediately hit with the smell of Suguru’s heat, the sweet and enticing pheromones that make his mouth water and his inner alpha roar. Suddenly it makes sense why Shoko made him swallow five times his suppressant dosage just to numb himself against this, because even now when the alpha part of him is effectively knocked out and sedated, he still wants to lean into this, feels his cock stirring even though it shouldn’t. 

“Suguru?” 

He’s not in the room, he’s in the bathroom, and the door is cracked open a little, shower running constantly.

“I’m just going to leave this bag here, okay?” No answer. “Can you please just say something so I can leave here without being worried you drowned in the shower? Just tell me to fuck off, maybe?” 

Since there’s no answer, just the sound of the shower running, no movement inside. And Satoru is - worried .

“Suguru?”

He walks over to the open bathroom door and knocks on it, waits a second before going inside. Suguru’s in bathtub with the shower beating down on him knees pulled to his chest and clothes sticking to him. He looks up at Satoru with hazy eyes and trembling lips, and that’s when Satoru’s cut out of his trance and realizes that the water is cold and Suguru is shaking.

He goes inside and kneels next to the bathtub, and reaches out a hand and touches Suguru's shoulder trying to shake him out of his reverie. He's icy cold and his shirt is sticking to him, and he doesn’t say anything when Satoru calls out to him.

Satoru immediately turns off the cold water, picks Suguru up from under his armpits and makes him sit on the edge of the tub. It’s weird how obedient he is, Normal Suguru would never accept to be manhandled like that, but here they are. He realizes quickly that the soaked TShirt is the only thing Suguru is wearing, and he blushes at it, but he has no time to think about his modesty at the moment

“Put your hands up, Suguru,” he says, and Suguru listens, so Satoru peels off his shirt and wraps him up in a bathrobe, rubs his hair dry and fingercombs it. 

The cold water dulled the fever edge of heat and the smell of pheromones, but he's shaking and Satoru’s heart aches. He should try to think of what the proper way to deal with this would be, since he doesn’t want Suguru to hate it after all is said and done, but as he’s mulling over it, he hears Suguru make a soft, pained noise and give a full body-shudder. It makes his heart seize, so propriety be damned, whatever, Suguru can deal with being embarrassed afterwards. 

Satoru picks him up bridal style and takes him to the room, and he wants to put him on the bed but Suguru refuses to let go of him. He tucks his head in the crook of Satoru’s shoulder and refuses to let go, so Satoru sits on the bed with him and lets him crawl in his lap. Suguru sits with both his legs on one side, and his cheek against Satoru’s shoulder, completely silent until he gets a hit with a bout of cramping pain and then he curls into himself and further into Satoru’s embrace. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he says, tries to calm him down when his face contorts in pain, holds him against his chest and lets him rub his face against his Satoru’s scent glands, “Does my smell help?” 

Suguru doesn’t answer with words, but he nods and starts pulling at Satoru’s jacket. He thinks it’s a little dangerous to lose any of his layers at the moment, but Suguru’s insistent so Satoru takes it off. He ends up staring stupidly at Suguru as he takes off his robe and puts on Satoru’s jacket, then goes back to rub his face and upper body against Satoru to soak in his scent. 

It was hard to control himself before and it’s even harder now, because he’s just so aware that Suguru’s naked in his lap and he really really tries not to stare, not grope, not to do anything inappropriate, he thinks about equations and the stock market and greek philosophy. Anything just to keep his dick under control, and he’s rapidly failing. 

Then, Suguru falls off his lap and onto the bed, curls in on himself, face pained and pulling his legs to himself. There’s slick dripping on the bed though, and he’s been out of the shower for long enough that his smelling of pheromones again, and it makes Satoru a little dizzy before he snaps out of it. 

“Do you need anything? I bought you painkillers, I got things that are supposed to help, I…” 

Suguru whines in pain and it breaks his heart. He tries touching his forehead and realizes that he’s hot with heat fever, cheeks red and watery, unfocused eyes, so he doesn’t think he’s going to get any sort of decent response from him. Instead, he take the medicine bag and takes out a handful of pills, for fever and pain, what Shoko recommended he buy. 

Once again, he mentally sends his thanks to the Gojo family doctors for putting him on super strong suppressants, because Suguru smells amazing, and it’s doing things to his body and his mind, but at least he’s not feeling feral. 

“Hey, Suguru, come here - ” 

He puts a hand on his back and raises him up slightly, holding him in the crook of his arm. Satoru takes a mouthful of water from one of the bottles he brought and keeps it in mouth. He pushes the pills in Suguru’s panting mouth, resists the urge to rub his fingers against his tongue and then presses his lips against his. He lets the water flow from his mouth in Suguru’s to force him to swallow the pills, and then pulls away. 

It’s not a kiss, not really, but Satoru’s mouth tingles all the same. He’s not sure how much Suguru registers it. 

The pills are fast acting, and he feels it when they start doing their thing a little, mainly because Suguru stops trembling so much and he’s able to breathe easier. The fever breaks for a bit and Suguru blinks up at him, then blushes hotly and avoids him. 

“Hey. Feeling better?” 

Suguru pulls away and tries to cover himself, but he winces when he moves his thighs. Satoru tries to not feel rejected, and focuses on more concrete things.

“Do you want something to eat? Drink? I bought - ” 

“No food. I can’t stomach anything right now,” Suguru says, and runs a hand through his still damp hair, “Water would be nice, though.” 

Suguru isn’t exactly feeling normal, but he’s as normal as he can be in these circumstances, while being naked, slick drying on his legs, and now both of them are sitting on the bed and trying desperately to ignore the situation their in. Satoru looks away and crosses his legs, desperately hopes Suguru doesn’t think he’s a creeper. What’s he supposed to do? Should he leave? 

He hears Suguru picking up one of the bags he brought and looking towards it.

“So, there’s medicine and supplies for you in those bags. The pharmacist insisted I get several sizes of toys, so you get to pick -  ” 

Suguru groans and throws the empty water bottle at him. He’s feeling weak, so he misses Satoru’s head, hits him in the shoulder. 

“Ow! What was that for?” 

“I don't want to think about you buying me knotting toys.” 

“But it’s normal, isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t know.” 

There’s a long silence and the bed dips, he feels Suguru laying down on the bed and he ventures to look at him, glances over his shoulder and sees Suguru with his hair sticking to his face, curled on his side, eyes closed. He’s still wearing Satoru’s jacket around his shoulders. 

Satoru swallows thickly and goes back to staring at the wall. 

“Aren’t they standard for heat kits? We have them at school too. I saw them in the med lab when I was there with Shoko once.” 

“I suppose they are. I never used them, though.” 

“What? Why not? Aren’t they meant to help with the…” 

Pain. Heat. Horny. Slick. Oh god, Suguru -

His dick throbs. 

“My parents are both betas. They never bought them for me, said it’s unnecessary, so I never got in the habit of using them. And then again, you can only really use them up to a certain point, can’t use them if it hurts too much .”

He thinks about Suguru trying to use a dildo on himself and failing because it hurts too much to put it in . Suguru with his legs spread and trying to push a toy inside himself and whining because it hurts too much. And now, he knows the sounds Suguru makes when heat-pangs hurt. He feels like he’s going crazy. 

“So what do you do when you’re in heat?” 

Suguru shrugs. 

“Cold things help. Numbs it a little. Sometimes I put ice on it.” 

Satoru feels his mind go blank. He looks at the wall, swallows thickly. 

“Do you want help?” 

“ What ?” Suguru looks shocked, big eyes and outrage in his voice, “Why?” 

“What do you mean, why? You’re in pain, aren’t you? You aren’t feeling well. You ice yourself to feel better, but clearly it’s not working properly - ” 

He glances and Suguru over his shoulder again, sees the way he’s clutching Satoru’s jacket around his shoulders, the puddle of slick soaking the sheet, the way he’s fidgeting because the painkillers are already wearing off. Fuck, his mouth is watering, fangs pushing against his lower lip, he wants him so badly.

“It helps, doesn’t it? My smell,” he motions towards the jacket Suguru has wrapped around his shoulders.

Suguru flushes and looks away, and holds onto the edge of his coat tighter. 

“Alphas stink.” 

“I don’t. Not to you.” 

Suguru looks like he’s about to protest, but he’s also getting redder and his eyes are starting to get glassy. He can smell it when Suguru gets another wave of slick dripping from his cunt, it smells delicious, and Suguru’s winces when it happens. One of his hands goes between his legs to cover his pussy, like he’s ashamed of it and the way it drools. 

Satoru leans on the bed and reaches out to him. He slowly wraps his fingers around Suguru’s wrist, leaving him to both pull away or tell him to back off, and he’ll back off if Suguru wants him it’s just -

He raises Suguru’s hand to his face and looks at his glistening fingers, the slick webbing between them. He looks at Suguru and Suguru first glances away, then he turns back to Satoru. When he’s sure Suguru’s eyes are on him, he opens his mouth and puts Suguru’s fingers in his mouth.

“Don’t,” Suguru says, but it’s a very weak protest, half hearted at best, “It’s so nasty,” but he doesn’t try to pull his hand away from Satoru’s mouth either. He runs his tongue over his fingertips and between them, moans at the taste of him, 

“I don’t think it’s nasty,” he says as he pulls away, “I think Suguru tastes delicious.” 

Suguru bites his lip and closes his eyes, makes this strained, pained noise and falls into Satoru’s arms heavily, nuzzling against his collar and beneath his jaw. Satoru puts a hand on his shoulder and pushes him back onto the bed, keeps his wrists pinned down against the mattress and leans over him. 

“Let me help you.” 

Suguru doesn’t want to look at him, so he pushes his face in the pillow. 

“You just want to fuck me.” 

“Yeah, I want to fuck you.” 

Suguru huffs, exasperated, and Satoru presses on his wrists harder. 

Sex is really not a big deal. It’s not. His parents are both alphas and they’re always fucking people left and right, and they talk about the omegas they sleep with openly. Suguru’s a prude, but he’s a sexy prude and Satoru’s feeling pretty smitten with him, and if Suguru doesn’t want to fuck through this heat that’s fine, but he has to offer 

“Are you going to knot me?” 

“Do you want me to knot you?”

Suguru shrugs and doesn’t say anything. 

Satoru takes the question as an affirmative. He takes a deep breath, lets go of Sugurus wrist and puts a hand on his jaw then drags it down over his chest, gropes his soft flesh and below. 

Suguru’s skin is so hot and he shudders when he’s touched.

Satoru’s fingers tremble when he touches him. 

Suguru puts an arm over his face when Satoru touches his pretty pussy. Delicately, of course, because he said it hurts when he’s in heat and Satoru doesn’t want to hurt him, he wants to make him feel good. Suguru opens his thighs wider and he lifts his hips without saying anything, and Satoru feels emboldened by the act, spreads his lips with his  pointer and ring finger, and runs his middle finger over his slit. 

Suguru’s so wet he slips inside without meaning to, making him sigh gently and sweetly. Satoru’s completely enraptured by him, and he keeps pushing his finger in and out of him, slowly, adds another finger and pumps it in and out. 

“How do you make yourself orgasm, Suguru? Show me how you like it.”

He wants to please Suguru, but he doesn’t know how to. He takes Suguru’s hand and puts it on his cunt, but Suguru pulls away and grabs onto the sheets instead. 

“I don’t like touching myself there, I don’t, I -” he shakes his head, and Satoru sighs and accepts that he’s going into this as blind as he can be. 

“Alright, it’s alright. You don't have to do anything then, I’ll take care of you.”

He takes a pillow and puts it under Suguru’s hips. He grabs his cock and rubs it over Suguru’s pussy, first spreading his moisture all over and then gently pushing in. Suguru’s so tight it makes him wince too. 

“ Satoru -”

Suguru whines and closes his eyes, and Satoru sees tears in his lashes. 

“Does it hurt?” 

“Yes.” 

He pauses halfway in to thumb his clit, hoping it’ll help him relax, but Suguru just seizes more.

“I’m sorry. Can you bear with it a little more?”

Suguru nods and Satoru moves to kiss his mouth, lips moving against each other. Soft. 

Suguru puts his arms around him and he rolls his hips slowly, their bodies not used to each other but it's okay, they had time. 

It's one of the best things that ever happens to him. Years later, it's one of the fondest memories he has, Suguru trusting him with this vulnerability, holding onto him while expanded inside him. 

Afterwards, he flips them over and lets Suguru rest against his chest, not talking but basking in the closeness of it. His heart is all full of gratitude, his chest rumbling and purring, Suguru’s cute little button nose pressed in the dip between his collarbones.

“Are you okay?” he asks, and Suguru nods. He kisses the crown of his head and runs his fingers gently down his back. 

When his knot deflates, he still doesn’t want to move, he just keeps Suguru in his arms. When the next wave of heat comes over him, Satoru just turns him on his back again and makes love to him, as much as he needs, until Suguru feels sated and he looks at Satoru like no one’s ever looked at him before, and its in that moment that he thinks - I never want anyone to see you like this ever again. I want you to be mine and mine alone.

When Satoru wakes up in the morning, light was barely filtering through the room. The mid-March sun takes its time to rise, and throws shifting shadows in his bedroom. 

Suguru’s hair is in his mouth as he blinks his eyes open, lazy and slow, he feels languid and sated and satisfied. He turns to look at his omega laying next to him. Suguru is already awake; his face is open and his hair is all messy. 

“Good morning,” Suguru tells him. 

Satoru reaches out a hand and cups the side of his face, runs his thumb over his mouth. Presses the tip of it between his lips. He moves forward, closer to him. On top of him. Kisses Suguru. 

“Good morning,” Satoru finally tells him, voice rough, between kisses. Satoru’s fingers dig into Suguru’s thighs. Suguru’s arms are around Satoru’s shoulders

And they don’t have to talk at all after that. There’s really nothing to talk about, is there? 

At least in this they understand each other. Always have. 

Suguru’s body responds to his touch. Arousal spreads through between them, and he gets hard just from kissing. Satoru makes him cum twice, with his mouth and his fingers, until his legs are weak, and his body is soft and relaxed. He leaves wet kisses on his inner thigh, gentle bites and sucking marks against the sensitive skin. Nuzzles against his mound, kisses his slit – tender at first and then harder. Laces their fingers together and holds his hand as he licks into him, tastes him, his nose against his clit as his tongue dips into his opening. Takes his time with it too, makes him sigh, pleasure spreading hot and languorous through Suguru’s body, he flicks his tongue directly over his clit and then pulls away slightly.

Satoru gets clingy during his rut, like a needy dog. 

He desperately wants to please Suguru, because Suguru’s orgasms are lovely, beautiful things to observe, and feel like Satoru’s gifts for being a good mate. His eyelashes flutter, his eyelids twitching. His skin glows with the most beautiful flush, it makes his eyes shine, it spreads over his neck and his chest, makes his nipples stand out, dark with blood and painfully hard. His pretty pussy contracts, clenches and relaxes around Satoru’s fingers as he presses against his G-spot, presses until Suguru squirts again and then collapses onto the sheets, exhausted.

His phone rings non-stop - first it’s Yaga, then it’s Shoko, then it’s Yaga again. 

“Shouldn’t you answer that?” Suguru finally asks after god knows how many times. Satoru doesn’t care to answer, he’s knotted inside Suguru’s pussy again, purring and chewing on his throat to make sure he leaves as many marks as possible. 

“I’m not letting you go, you know. I’ve made up my mind - I don’t care what I have to do to keep you here, but I refuse to let my mate leave me again. It was painful enough the first time, you can’t leave me again,” Suguru doesn’t say anything, “You can’t.” .

Any other moment, he’d think he’s sounding a little pathetic, but rut makes it impossible to feel shame. 

Later, he makes Suguru lay on the bed face down-ass up, and rubs his face against his butt as he tries to force more and more of his hand inside him.

"I wanna marry you," he says, uses four fingers to fuck in and out of his sopping cunt, forces Suguru’s pussy to spread wickedly around his knuckles, "I'm gonna marry you,"

" Satoru "

"I'm gonna marry you, and I'm gonna fuck so many pups inside you. I'll keep you constantly pregnant, Suguru’s gonna be my pretty little breeding bitch."

Suguru’s so wet that it doesn't even take that much effort, he twists his wrist a little to slide in deeper and his thighs shakes as he does it, his whole fist sliding in inside and making him cum instantly. 

Suguru’s hole squeezing around his wrist like a tourniquet, his fist inside him like  a knot, his inner walls contracting around him. Feeling Suguru’s heartbeat through his pussy. 

He loosens and tightens his fist, like his knot would pump inside him if he could, stimulating the same sensation. 

"Would you like that, baby?" Satoru murmurs "We'll be living together, and I'll just fuck you over and over, just blowing my loads in you again and again until you’re full, and I'm gonna keep fucking your mouth, your pussy, your ass."

He twists his wrist and pushes his fist deeper inside him, makes Suguru cum again just easy like that and then he pulls out gingerly. His whole hand is drenched in slick, and he uses it to fist his cock and get it wet, wetter than it already is with the precum that keeps dripping from it.

"Suguru's gonna be all fat and round with my pups, I'm gonna make your tits swell and everyone's gonna know who you belong to." 

He jerks himself off with one hand and spreads Suguru’s ass-cheeks with the other. He spits on his asshole and pushes it inside with his thumb. Satoru licks Suguru there and inside, forcing his tongue past the puckered muscle, eats his ass out until he’s squirming.

"I want to knot Suguru’s ass, can I? Can I knot your ass?"

He pushes the tip of his cock inside Suguru’s ass before he gets the chance to respond, and hears him gasp as he grabs hold of his hips. Satoru rubs one of his big hands up and down Suguru’s spine, shushing him..

"Don't tense up, Suguru, let me have you." 

"Do you want to hurt me, alpha?" 

Suguru looks at him over his shoulder, it's so hot, it goes directly to his head.

He grabs a handful of Suguru’s hair and pulls him back, makes his back arch and puts his other hand around his throat. He pushes in, tip to hilt in one thrust and doesn’t give Suguru any chance to pause and breathe, he just starts fucking him at a brutal pace.

He pulls his head to the side, kisses his cheek, forces his head back so much he can kiss his mouth too while he plunders him.  

"I love you, Suguru, I love you, I love you, I love you," 

There's tears in Suguru’s eyes but he looks ecstatic, and even when he grimaces, when Satoru’s too rough, when his knot starts expanding, he never puts up any resistance. 

"Don't stop, don't stop, give it to me, Satoru, don't hold back." 

Knotting Suguru’s ass is painful, he has to force himself inside through gritted teeth. 

Sharp pain, and Suguru cries out,

“Don’t stop,” he pleads, voice raw, “I love you, Satoru, I love you - ”

Satoru grunts and continues. He thrusts deeper, hears the pitch of Suguru’s voice changing.

“Dontstopdontstopdont-” then he goes limp in Satoru’s arms, and the feeling between deeper than either of them could imagine, the pleasure-pain ripping across his nerves and making him seize. His knot is lodged deep inside, and each movement makes Suguru twitch and moan, makes Satoru do the same.

He tries to say Suguru's name, to reach out to him in some way, but Suguru makes a pained sound.

“I hurt you.”

“Hmmm, yes,” Suguru inhales deeply and holds it in his lung. “It’s okay.”

Satoru draws his hand down Suguru’s chest, his abdomen, between his legs. He cups his hand over Suguru’s pussy and feels it twitching helplessly. 

“You fucked me so good, Alpha”

“ Suguru ,” he whines.

“So full,” he mumbles, running his hands over his own body, pressing against his own belly and gasping, and then putting his hand over Satoru’s, between his thighs, “You feel so good. Look,” he pushes Satoru’s fingers inside his cunt and moans, and Satoru can feel how his knot is forcing Suguru’s walls to shape around him, bulging.

“Oh my god,” he applies pressure, makes Suguru squirm, feels it on his knot, and feels the spasming. His fingers stroke the outline of his knot, and realizes he can probably get off on this too, hypersensitive as they both are right now.

He growls in Suguru’s ear, small thrusts combined with fingering Suguru’s soft, sore pussy make him cum again embarrassingly fast.

“I love your body, babe, you’re amazing,” he mouths at his throat and licking him, “Suguru’s slutty little holes begging for me to use them and fill them up, can’t let me go afterwards…”

They lay there together until enough time passes, until Satoru’s knot deflates and he can finally pull out. Fluids drip out of Suguru when he pulls out, both of his holes used and dripping and clenching around nothing. Suguru makes a face.

“How are you feeling?” Satoru kisses his cheek, and nuzzles against his jaw. 

“It feels so empty now.”

“Is that bad?”

Suguru shrugs. 

“No, I don’t think so,” a beat, and then he bites his lip and looks away, “Just sore.” 

It feels like their hormonal surge passed, or at least it’s close to passing - Suguru’s heat long broken and Satoru’s rut settling, leaving him both exhausted, all sore muscles and high emotions. He falls asleep the second he closes his eyes, and when he wakes up he feels like he’s been hit by a train, head pounding. 

Suguru’s in his arms, but he gets this deep sense of sadness, looming heartbreak. Logically he knows what it is - the high given by the endorphin dump passed, so both of them are gonna need a few days to recover from it, it’s normal and passes . That said, he still feels like the sky is about to fall on the two of them. 

They move around the bedroom slowly and silently - Satoru changes the sheets himself and run a bath for them, and Suguru follows him around like he’s lost. It’s so omega, and he hasn’t ever seen Suguru acting like this. Maybe it’s just because they’re older now and they crash harder, maybe because they’ve been away from each other for so long. 

They spend three days together, cooped up inside, constantly within arms reach. Neither of them bother to dress much, they wear Pajamas and Satoru holds Suguru from behind as he makes eggs in the morning. He puts his chin on Suguru’s shoulder and hums as Suguru pushes the eggs around the pan, sways them gently together. 

“You ever think about having kids?” 

“I have kids. I have Mimiko and Nanako, and they’re my daughters. I raised them.” 

“Yeah, sure - but not like that. I mean - have you ever thought about having kids with me? ” 

“Satoru - ” 

He sighs.

“Hey, don’t . It doesn’t have to mean anything. I’m just - I dunno, we’re nesting, right? This is nesting.” 

“Is it? I suppose it is,” Suguru turns his head to the side and kisses his cheek, “Breakfast’s ready.” 

“Thank you - but I’m just saying, nesting is nice, but it puts you in a mood, right? Puts me in a mood. And last time we did this, we were so young, I wasn’t thinking about babies then, but I guess I’m at that age…” 

“Ah yes, that age. The age in which your Alpha hormones are telling you to breed something. Testosterone. Ever makes you want to bite into the wall?” 

“ Sometimes ,” he laughs, and bites Suguru’s cheek playfully before sitting at the table. They sit next to each other, and Suguru hikes his legs in Satoru’s lap as they eat. 

He thinks about telling Suguru about how he can barely maintain an erection with anyone else, like his cock’s been hardwired to depend on Suguru’s attention and his knot just refuses to pop for anyone else. 

“Sometimes I think that - Suguru went and found himself a family and left me alone. And I’m jealous.”

Suguru looks at him with sad, soft eyes.

“That’s not fair, Satoru.”  

“I know. It’s not their fault. But you were supposed to be my family , not theirs.”

It’s weird to talk about these things while they’re sober, without heat or rut or anger or grief clouding their brains. 

Satoru sees it’s strange, detached and clinical, talking about these old, deep wounds that he barely admits to himself.

If it was anything else, maybe it would have been easier, but admitting he is jealous of 2 orphaned kids that Suguru saved is low . 

Suguru doesn’t say anything to him, just gets up from his seat and gets in Satoru’s lap. He cups Satoru’s cheeks and presses his forehead against his, rubs their noses together.

"I can still be your family, if you want me, but you just have to accept they'd be part of it too." 

"Would that mean you'd come live with me? Would you…." 

He sounds so hopeful it's pathetic, holds Suguru around his middle and hides his face in the crook of his neck. Suguru’s neck is all bruised from his bites, but he smells nice and comforting. 

"Shhh, we'll figure it out, I promise. We'll figure it out, Satoru." 

He doesn't think Suguru is confident in that, but he wants to believe that time around, they'll get to keep each other. He takes Suguru’s wrists in his hands and kisses his palms and fingers, nuzzles against him. 

They cuddle on the couch, Satoru lays down between Suguru’s tights and uses his belly as a pillow. He feels him purring contentedly and some deep ache inside Satoru’s heart starts mending itself, like everything is finally right in the world after years of being broken.

"How many kids would you like?" 

"I don't know. Four? Four seems like a good number. Hasn't been that many Gojo’s around for generations, we don't breed too often." 

"So you want me to put in the extra work to make up for your lazy relatives"

Satoru laughs. 

"What about you?"

"Who knows? I never gave it much thought. Never imagined myself giving birth," a pause, "I don't even know if I can get pregnant."  

Satoru closes his eyes and tries to imagine, no kids, just him and Suguru and Suguru's daughters. He'd learn to love them, because Suguru loves them and he wants his omega to be happy. He doesn't need biological children, not really, not if Suguru doesn't want them or if he’s unable to have them.

He really just wants this - this grounding feeling, like Suguru is his anchor point and suddenly he can think and breathe and allow himself to rest.  

"It's alright. We'll be fine then as well." 

He finally talks to Yaga and tells him he went into a rut unexpectedly. They have to accept it as an answer, even though Satoru’s well known for scheduling his ruts strictly - accidents happen. Doesn’t mean anything. They want him to come in as soon as possible, to have Shoko check him out, but - no . He doesn't want to.

"Would you like to live in the city, or the countryside?" 

"Ugh. The girls would love to live in Tokyo, but I don't miss it. I prefer living in the countryside. It's more isolated. Smells cleaner." 

"I should take you to the Gojo compound in the city one of these days. It's great there - you'd love it. There’s a pond on the roof." 

"Satoru- " 

"What is it, baby?"

"What are we doing?"

 "We're making plans for the future. Nothing big,just…feels nice, right?" 

Suguru doesn't really think they have much of a future together, and Satoru doesn't blame him for doubting it. He’s confident, though, and he thinks he can make Suguru see his point of view too. 

That night, they make love again, but this time slowly, just to feel close to each other. 

But in the morning, he still wakes up alone.

He doesn’t even have it in himself to be angry at Suguru for leaving him again. He should have seen it coming. 

Chapter Text

His girls are worried about him, so when he gets home, they latch onto him and refuse to let go. 

“Geto-sama, where were you? You were away for so long! Larue wanted to go look for you, but Manami stopped him, and…” 

“Oh goodness, there’s no need to cause such a fuss, I’m fine. I’m fine .” 

They don’t believe him. Mimiko and Nanako have always been in-tune with him and now more than ever, it’s obvious that something is wrong. They can tell, only they don’t know the exact nature of what’s plaguing him. 

Suguru smiles at them and tries to be reassuring, and tries to keep his scent under control so that no one can sense the longing.

“Geto-sama, you smell different ,” Nanako says, and frowns

“Do I smell bad to you?” 

The girls look at each other and then at him. They nuzzle against him - both of them are omegas, and they’re sensitive like he is, so they can sense Satoru’s scent all over him. 

“No, not bad,” Nanako finally says, “just different.” 

Satoru’s smell clings to him very intensely, the scent of his possessive alpha pheromones claiming Suguru as belonging to him. It would take a long time for it to pass, even if he doesn’t see Satoru at all during that time - but this time around, he doesn’t think that’ll be the case. 

Anyways, it’s pointless to try to hide it, everyone knows, as soon as they see him, and no amount of washing or scrubbing or perfume would be able to hide it. When Manami sees him and smells him, she scrunches her nose and shakes her head a little, no doubt a little overwhelmed by the change. 

“You smell like - “ but then she stops herself, politely. 

“Like what?” 

“I suppose you smell like him, don’t you? I think the word I’m looking for is claimed ,”  she shrugs, “It’s strange, that’s all. You always just smelled like yourself, none of the alpha’s you were ever with lingered on you, but now you just smell like you’ve been claimed by some alpha and it’s strange.” 

She’s an omega like him, and Suguru knows she prefers other omegas as opposed to alphas. In a way, it’s part of the reason why she joined his family, because she liked him, and they got along with each other. She always commented how much she enjoyed the fact that Suguru’s own scent was strong, that alpha pheromones never clung to him and none of their scents lingered on him. 

Satoru’s scent is overpowering, though, his pheromones mingle with Suguru into something new and unique to them, until they cannot separate them from each other. Her nose crinkles and he realizes she doesn’t like it, it bothers her to smell Satoru on him. And somehow, it bothers Suguru to see her reaction. 

“He’s been my alpha for years. You knew this.” 

“I did. You never smelled like it, though.”

It’s the aftereffect of reestablishing their bond. It’ll calm down in a few months if they don't see each other, but the thought of that makes Suguru ache in a way he never has before. 

When he first left Satoru, he did so with conviction, determination and told himself 'it'll pass'. He had a goal set out for himself too, and children to take care of, and he kept telling himself that severing the connection was the best thing he could do for Satoru. 

This time, it just aches and burns, desperately painful in a way it's never been before. 

Everyone feels the change in him, but most people don’t dare to comment on it. Larue just pauses, blinks as he looks at him and Suguru tilts his head to the side and waits for him to comment, but the comment never comes. The man has too much tact for that. Same with Miguel, they just acknowledge the change without openly commenting like his girls and Mamani did. 

All in all, it’s better than he expected with them. 

His followers don’t have the right to comment anything in front of him, but he knows they know. Everyone knows. They feel him and there’s a low murmur and tension in the room, and Suguru dislikes it, but he doesn’t address it.

He’s not stupid, he knows he himself is a big part of why all of them were there - and he’d been without his alpha for so long that he smelled just like himself, like unmated, unsatisfied omega and while he resented alphas and tended to gag when they came too close…He knew it was part of the appeal. 

“This is going to affect our donations,” Manami says, sadly sighing. 

“Oh, hush,” he says, flicking his wrist at her, “It will not. We’ll just need to push them harder for the time being.” 

She doesn’t look like she’s convinced, but she still agrees with him. 

“Yes, Geto-sama. Whatever you say.” 

They organize a meeting with all their donors, as they do sometimes, and some of them visibly pale when they feel him. There’s a murmur between them that at first he just ignores. Then, he sees disgust flickering over the face of one of his donor. 

“Takeshi-san - is there something to matter?” he says, voice sweet and pleasant, singling the man out among the others. They all feel the same thing, but Takeshi is the only one impulsive enough to let the emotion bleed over his features. 

The man looks at him and tightens his jaw. He’s an alpha, and a very renowned one at that, with several omegas in his harem. He’d been dead-set on seducing Suguru for years, which is why he sent absolutely ridiculous amounts of money to their organization, hoping he could buy his affections. 

Suguru is waiting for him to say something offensive and give him a reason to kill him. 

Everyone can feel the tense atmosphere in the room and they all know the cause, white fucking elephant hanging over their heads because all of them were there for the fantasy of Suguru and now it’s very clearly shattered. Because now he smells like Satoru, like Satoru’s ownership on him. 

Part of him wants to preen. 

He’s not ashamed of his alpha or the bond between them.

He resents the way everyone’s eyes just slide over him and measure him differently all of a sudden. 

Wonders if they’re imagining it, if it’s written all over him. 

Fucking animals.

“If you have something to say, please - I’m open to hearing from you.” 

“No, Geto-sama. It’s nothing, nothing - ” He stumbles over his words. Suguru frowns, disappointed. 

He doesn’t want to cause a scene without a reason, so in response, he just gets up from his place at the head of the table, flips his hair over his shoulder and makes to leave the room. 

“Geto-sama?” Mamani runs after him, confused, “Where are you going?” 

“I’m leaving.” 

“Leaving? But why, I - ” 

“I’m leaving . I don’t want to be here anymore.” 

She tries to placate him but there’s little point in it. Lately he’s been mercurial. Out of synch. 

He misses Satoru, breathtakingly so, much more than he ever did. 

The only thing he really wants to do is sit in his nest with his daughters. Ever since he spent his heat with Satoru, he’s been craving all those little quirky omega habits that normally scoffs at - fuzzy socks and cozy clothes and warm scents. It’s been ages since he’s indulged in it too, and it would be good for the girls to just spend a few days with him. Omega pack bonds are carefully constructed things that need constant maintenance, and he needs time with them just as much as they need time with their only parental figure. 

With that in mind, he cancels all the plans they might have for a few days, and takes the girls shopping. He puts on well worn civilian clothes, braids his hair, and takes his daughters out for crepes and parfaits. Then, they stop for grocery shopping and come back to their apartment with heavy bags laden with food. He told the girls he didn’t want to go out again for a few days and meant it, he doesn't want to see anyone other than them - so in that regard, they prepared accordingly, stocking up on things and making plans for the whole weekend.  

“Can you girls please put away the shopping? I want to clean up this place.” 

Since they haven’t been home together like this in a while, he takes his time to water the plants, fuss about with the pillows, and get everything in order.

“Why did we buy so much daifuku?” Nanako asks, looking at the various boxes of wagashi on the kitchen table, “Geto-sama, are you having cravings? Are you - you know…?” 

“Nanako, don’t ask that! It’s rude .” 

“It’s not rude, I’m curious!” 

He looks at his daughters, and thinks he should just dismiss it, then - he wonders. Puts a hand on his stomach, but…

“No, I don’t think I am. Nothing like that.” 

“Then why all this? You’ve never had a sweet tooth.” 

“I just felt like buying it. Maybe we’ll have some after dinner.” 

The girls share a look and a shrug and then decide to just let it go. They put away the shopping and then move around the house, helping him with things.   

“Are we expecting guests?” Nanako asks, and Suguru shakes his head. 

“No. No. Not exactly,” he answers, feather duster in hand and running it over his furniture. 

He cleans the whole house, top to bottom. Scrubs the floors and the bathroom and gets rid of anything that would smell off, he lights perfumed candles and makes sure to leave his pheromones everywhere he touches, just so that the place smells like him all over again. Nesting isn’t something that comes natural to him, since he spent so long trying to repress the habit of it, but every once in a while he just gets the urge to do it. 

It feels better afterwards, more comfortable, like he can breathe easier. 

He lays down on the couch and falls asleep there, and when he wakes in the middle of the night to stretch his feet and drink some water. One of the girls put a blanket over him and let him sleep on the couch. 

Suguru goes to check on his daughters - they still sleep in the same room, even though he offered them separate bedrooms. His girls are clingy to each other and they don’t like to be separated, and they get into bed and then spend hours gossiping and giggling under the covers while they should be asleep. Sometimes he listens to them - not what they're saying, he doesn’t care about listening in on their secrets, but it makes him feel better to hear them murmuring and shushing each other. 

Now, he finds them asleep, though Mimiko’s laptop is still running quietly with some anime he hasn’t seen in the background. 

Suguru looks at them and then he thinks - he likes the way they fit here, the life they have in moments like this. The three of them together. 

He closes his eyes and breathes in, and thinks - they could live together in a bigger place. He thinks about Satoru’s stylishly decorated apartment, how empty it was and whether or not he'd be willing to make room for his daughters there. 

Satoru talks a big game about accepting them, and Suguru is sure he would try - for his sake if not for anyone else. Satoru would definitely try. That said, he wonders if Satoru would truly be able to accept him as his pack. 

That's not even getting into whether or not the girls would like him enough to want that sort of familial bond with him. They’re possessive of Suguru in the way omegas raised by single, same gender parents usually are. They scowl at alphas and he’s still not sure how they feel about him reaffirming him bond.

They say it's not a bother - not now, since Satoru isn't here, but if he were, would the girls still be as easy-going and accepting? 

Who knows?

Suguru goes to the kitchen and takes out one of the boxes of wagashi. One of the girls opened the daifuku mochi and took on - probably Mimiko, she has more of a sweet tooth than her sister. He shakes his head, smiling, and takes a wagashi for himself before putting the box back in the fridge.. 

He’s not fond of sweets, but he bites into it and smiles a little. It’s been a while since he went curse collecting, so his tongue has healed enough that he can actually taste it. It’s mildly sweet and cool, very pleasant, and it tastes nostalgic. Satoru used to buy this exact brand of mochi when they were in school. He used to take one from the box and hold it to Suguru’s lips, urging him to taste.

Suguru would roll his eyes, but eventually he'd concede, biting into the  chewy treat and pushing his hair behind his ear while gently experiencing the taste of it. Satoru would just stare at him, rapt attention. Satoru’s always been like that with him - wanting to push him into doing things because he wanted to see Suguru’s reaction to them, wanting to share everything because Suguru seemed to be his one gauge for the world outside himself.

The next day rolls around, and Suguru and the girls are in the kitchen preparing lunch when he feels a shift in the atmosphere and a tug in his chest. He’s chopping vegetables for the stir fry and he pauses his knife before setting it down. 

“Mimiko, can you please take over the chopping here? I have to go get the door - ” 

They look at him strangely, but ultimately she picks up the knife and starts chopping while Suguru wipes his hand on his apron and goes to the door. He knows it’s Satoru on the other side, so he answers him with a soft smile and leans against the door frame.

Satoru’s wearing his sunglasses, he’s dressed in casual clothes too - dark jeans and big black sweater, leather bomber jacket. He looks so good, tall and handsome and sharp, and Suguru wants to touch him desperately. Satoru’s also very angry, he feels angry, though he tries to keep aura and his pheromones in check, but Suguru can smell it on him, and he can see it on his face. The muscle in his jaw twitches, and when he sees Suguru, his nostrils flare and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows thickly. His hands are one the side of his body, fists closed and almost shaking with the desire to touch him. 

Suguru feels a little bad over it, so he softens his face and his pheromones, lets his scent go sweet and reaches out towards Satoru to calm him down and envelop him before he even says anything. Satoru catches on, though, and his mouth takes a sad, downturned twist, but he leans forwards ever so slightly, like he wants to catch on to the scent. It’s manipulative, and they both know it, but Satoru doesn’t seem to care. 

Suguru takes one small step out and takes one of Satoru’s closed, tense fists into both his hands. He holds onto his wrist and runs his fingers over Satoru’s, coaxing him to relax until Satoru’s hand gently opens under his touch and Suguru touches the lines of his palm. 

Satoru bends into Suguru’s space and inhales him slowly, puts his nose in his hair without a word and sniffs him. 

“You left me. I woke up without you.”

Satoru sounds accusatory and whiney, but he’s more sad than he is upset. Defrosting an iceberg of a man. Suguru looks up at him from between his lashes and Satoru frowns.

“I’m upset with you.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

Suguru caresses Satoru’s cheek with the back of his hand. His alpha leans into his touch like a stray dog, hungry for affection. 

“Geto-saaaamaaaaa. Who’s at the door? Are we having guests?” 

Suguru snorts a laugh and then looks at Satoru, hopeful. 

“Stay for dinner, won’t you? I’d like you to meet the girls.” 

Satoru looks at him over the rim of his sunglasses, and he looks like he wants to argue something with him - no doubt, Satoru wasn’t expecting this sort of gentle welcome, and he doesn’t know what to do with it. What to do with the righteous upset and anger he knows he’s supposed to feel, even when Suguru feels him calming and letting go of it with each second that they’re close together. 

“Suguru,” he starts, voice serious and gravely, but stops himself.

“Sa-to-ru, stay for dinner.” 

And without waiting for him to respond, Suguru gets up on his tip-toes and kisses his cheek. He takes Satoru’s hand and pulls him inside the apartment. 

“Do you bleach your hair?” Nanako asks, looking at Satoru with her head tilted and her eyes squinted. 

“No, I don’t bleach my hair. I was born with it.” 

“Last year, Nanako wanted to bleach her hair platinum blonde like the girls in American shows and when we tried, her hair ended up yellow.” 

“Mimiko! Don’t tell him that!”

Suguru doesn’t say anything, he just observes everything with no small measure of amusement. His girls are blunt and direct, both of them, and it’s funny to see Satoru interacting with them. Satoru looks at him while he’s snickering and, seeing that Suguru is amused, he smiles back and relaxes more into the chair. 

“So, are you Geto-sama’s mate?” Mimiko asks, purposefully avoiding looking at Satoru and focused on her plate of food, “You two smell like each other.” 

“I am,” Satoru answers, and then looks back at Suguru. 

They’re sitting at the kitchen table - it’s not a big space, but it’s always been enough for them. Suguru was leaning against the kitchen cabinet and just when he wants to move to sit down, Satoru looks back at him and grabs his hand, finger on his wrist, like he’s looking for some sort of reassurance or for Suguru to confirm it as well. He clears his throat.

“Satoru and I have been mates for a very long time, but it’s only recently that we reconnected and decided to reestablish our bond.” 

“So that’s where you disappeared to last month!” Nanako says, and Suguru nods, moves to sit with them at the table. As he passes Satoru, he touches the back of his neck and it makes him smile. 

“I’m sorry for that, I suppose that would be my fault,” Satoru says, smiling at them sheepishly and then putting his elbow on the table to lean forward, “I met Suguru again and I had to try my luck. See if he still likes me or not.” 

Satoru can be very charming when he wants to be. Usually he doesn’t care enough to be charming with anyone, but apparently he’s aware that he’s supposed to make a good impression in front of Mimiko and Nanako and they’re supposed to like him. 

“I heard rumors about you, you know. Are you really as super strong as they say you are?”

“I am,” Satoru says with conviction, nodding his head and grinning at them, “I’m also super rich.” 

“And he’s so humble too,” Suguru teases, rolling his eyes. 

After dinner, Suguru pulls out the mochi boxes and offers it to them. Satoru looks at him meaningfully as he takes it out of the box, and Suguru smiles at him. 

“You knew I’d come here,” Satoru says afterwards, when the girls are in the living room watching tv and chatting and they’re left alone in the kitchen to wash and put away the dishes.  

 “I knew you’d come eventually. I was hoping you would, but - ” He shrugs his shoulders as he rinses bowls and gives them to Satoru to dry them, sitting side by side near the sink, “I think I expected you sooner.”

“I was so upset with you, Suguru - I was so upset .”

“Needed time to cool off? It’s okay, I get it.” 

“You left me.” 

“I couldn’t stay. You understand, right? I couldn’t just stay there with you -” 

“Why not?” 

“Satoru…”

Suguru is a little exasperated at how petulant Satoru sounds. He sighs and turns to look at him, dries his hands and takes off his sunglasses. He cups Satoru’s face in his hands and rubs his thumbs over his cheekbones. 

Satoru is such a beautiful man, Suguru thinks, caressing his features. Fingers over his brows, over his lashes, his nose, his lips. Satoru looks hurt, too - sad eyes and needy, and he puts an arm around Suguru’s waist and pulls him close. 

“I want to make it work with you,” Satoru says solemnly, and Suguru leans forward and puts his head on his shoulder. 

“I couldn’t just…stay there with you. I can’t just uproot my girls and move them somewhere else where they don’t know anyone, I can’t just close down the cult, I still have responsibilities, and I -” 

“Suguru.” 

He’s rambling and Satoru’s voice cuts right through it. He takes a deep breath and Satoru cups the back of his head, runs his fingers through his hair, rubs his back. 

“I had to know, Satoru. If it was just my heat or your rut -” 

He can hear the frustration rumbling in Satoru’s chest, but he stays quiet and lets Suguru ramble. 

“I thought - what if we’re making a mistake, what if we’re doing something stupid and impulsive and…and…” 

“And?”

"I don't know. I suppose I was afraid." 

Satoru doesn’t answer him. Instead he grabs Suguru by the scruff and pulls his head back gently. He looks Suguru in the eye and says - 

"I love you. I love you. And I've never stopped. I always wanted to be with you, Suguru, I wish you’d give me a chance to do it.”

“Satoru - ” 

Suguru puts his hands on Satoru’s chest and tries to push him away, halfheartedly. He doesn’t really wanna put any distance between them, but it’s appropriate to do so, isn’t it? It’s harder to resist Satoru when he’s so close and personal. Instead of allowing him his distance, though, Satoru holds onto him harder, and pins him in place. 

“No, listen - Suguru. You never give me any real chance to be with you, like you already decided how we’re supposed to end, but you can’t really commit to it either because you love me too much.” 

And he doesn’t give Suguru any chance to escape him either, because he holds Suguru’s wrist and grabs him by the nape of his neck, pushing his thumb into his mating mark and making Suguru’s knees go weak. 

“That’s playing dirty,” Suguru complains, even as he melts against Satoru. 

“You never play fair with me, why should I?” 

Suguru chuckles and nuzzles under his jaw. 

“Come on, let's watch TV with the girls. After they go to bed, we can talk more.” 

The promise of more of anything with Suguru is enough to appease Satoru.  They end up in the living room, Suguru sitting in the middle of the sofa with his daughters leaning on either side of him, and Satoru sitting on a pillow on the floor, his long legs sprawled in front of him and feet bare. Every time something mildly entertaining happens on TV, Satoru’s toes twitch. 

They’re watching some k-drama that Mimiko and Nanako are up to date with, and while Suguru’s not really interested, he’s at least quiet. Satoru asks questions, obnoxious ones at that, but Mimiko and Nanako have different preferences in terms of who they want the main heroine to end up with, so they end up bickering about it. Satoru adds fuel to the fire and plays devil’s advocate with both of them. 

Satoru likes teasing people and Suguru thinks it’s cute to see that energy turned towards his daughters. He thinks he could probably get used to this. If the girls like Satoru...if they’re okay with moving to Tokyo…

It’s the start of something new for them. 

“I wanna get married.” 

“Already? We barely started dating.” 

Satoru growls at his teasing, and pounces on him again, kissing his neck and nipping at it. 

“I’m serious,” he says, and he pulls the collar of Suguru’s sweater to the side and bites his shoulder, “I wanna get married as soon as possible.” 

“Are you afraid I’ll run away if you don’t lock me down?” 

Suguru teases, but Satoru makes an upset, rumbly noise. 

“You know, in the old age of Jujutsu, sorcerers would devote themselves to each other through binding vows.” 

“Is that what you want  to do, Satoru? Binding vows instead of marriage vows?” 

“Yes and no. I want to marry you properly. I want you to be my bride and I want you to share my name. And I want a proper ceremony too, where all the other clan leaders can see we’re serious, and the Higher-ups are forced to accept you as my mate.” 

Suguru sighs and puts his hands around Satoru’s shoulders. They’re sitting outside on the balcony, and the girls are in bed, and Suguru straddling his lap. Satoru leaves kisses and bites all over his throat and shoulder, and it feels really, really good, but it doesn’t cause the same high it used to when he was in heat. Just a warm pleasant feeling, like reinforcing their bond, and this intense sense of peace settling over him. 

Satoru licks the latest bite he made on Suguru’s throat and puts a hand on the back of his head. 

“The binding vow, though - that would be just between the two of us.” 

Suguru purrs under Satoru’s attention and he finds himself saying - 

“What vows do you want us to take with each other, Satoru?” 

“I vow to be faithful to you, body and soul, from now and forever, and you do the same.” 

“I vow to be faithful to you, Satoru, body and soul, from now and forever.”

“I’ll never leave you or abandon you, and I’ll never leave you alone for longer than two weeks.”

“Satoru - ” 

“Swear it. Vow it. Don’t leave me alone again. Don’t leave me again. You can’t put me through that ever again.” 

Suguru sits back on Satoru’s thighs, cups his cheek and kisses his brow, his eyelids. He’s so hurt and afraid that Suguru’s going to leave him again, he's willing to make a binding vow just to tie them together. 

“I vow I won’t ever abandon you again, Satoru.” 

Satoru looks at him seriously, and then kisses him, and Suguru feels Satoru’s cursed energy enveloping him and he reaches out with his own. 

“I vow to spend my whole life trying to make you happy, Suguru.” 

He feels the vows between them settling into place, like electric warmth sizzling over his skin.  

“All I want is to wake up next to you - every day of my life.”

Suguru doesn’t respond to him at first, he just lets Satoru hold him close and breathe him in. Then, he gets up from his lap, takes his hand and pulls him inside his little apartment. It's much smaller and shabbier than Satoru’s luxurious penthouse in Ginza, but it was always enough for him and the girls whenever they wanted to get away from the cult’s headquarters and just be together. 

He takes Satoru to his bedroom, makes him sit down on the bed and puts a finger over his lips. 

“We have to be quiet here. The walls are thin.” 

Satoru nods readily, and smiles, grabs Suguru by the waist and pulls him into bed with him. Satoru’s legs are too long and his ankles hang off the side of the bed - Suguru thinks that cute, and it brings back memories of how they were together in highschool. 

“Is this your nest?” 

Suguru shakes his head. 

“I don’t nest much. Never got in the habit of it. But it’s as close to a nest as I have.” 

“I see. I hope you’ll be able to have a nest when we move in together. I think it would be very cute. Suguru nesting. I bet you’d like it.”

He puts a hand on his mouth while they make love, just to be as quiet as possible, and Satoru just sighs, cheeks pressed against Suguru’s and nosing in his hair as he knots him. 

“I love you,” he whispers in Suguru’s ear, “I love you, I love you, I love you. ” 

He falls asleep in Satoru’s arms, and sleeps like the dead. It’s quite possibly the best sleep he’s had in ages. 

When he wakes up, there’s several things he realizes - 

1 - He’s alone in bed. Satoru’s not there with him, though the sheets smell like him, and while he feels an initial wave of panic hitting him, he realizes that he can still feel Satoru close. 

2 - It’s midmorning, the sun is high in the sky and bright, warm rays bath his bedroom in golden light. Suguru isn’t in the habit of oversleeping, but he can’t deny that he feels good.

3 - There’s noise coming from his kitchen, and it is accompanied by the smell of food. Suguru rarely gets hungry in the morning, but since he’s overslept so long, apparently he woke up with an appetite for the first time in ages. 

He gets out of bed, gets dressed in a pair of linen pants and an old shirt, and tiptoes out into the hallway. 

He finds Satoru in the kitchen, dressed in Suguru’s clothes, cutting up scallions and draining soba noodles while Nanako is showing him pictures on her phone. Suguru’s pants are too baggy on Satoru, and his shirt is too short, so it rides up a little whenever he moves.  

“See, this is when Geto-sama let me put hair rollers on his hair, he looked so cute with curls!” 

“Hmmm, I bet he did. Suguru would look cute with curls. He used to let me braid his hair sometimes -” Satoru’s voice sounds wistful, and then he looks over to Suguru standing in the hallway and smiles at him. 

"You're up," Satoru says, winking at him, "Good morning, Suguru. I made breakfast." 

“We helped!” Nanako says with a grin, but Mimiko just throws her a look. 

“You did not! I made breakfast! You were just here showing me pictures and giving me the shovel talk.”

There’s a big window on the side, sliding glass door leading to the balcony. It bathes the room in bright, morning light, and Satoru looks like he’s glowing. Suguru wants to touch him. Run his fingers through his shiny silver hair.

He looks like he’s too big and handsome and too perfect to be in Suguru’s apartment, but he looks right at home there too.

"I made zaru soba for you, and miso and salmon for the girls, and crepes ." 

“Crepes?” 

“Nanako said she didn’t believe he could flip them in the air,” Mimiko supplies, and then pointedly looks at the perfectly neat tower of crepes that Satoru probably flipped like an absolute pro.

Suguru’s stomach flips too, pleasantly.

"I had no idea you knew how to cook so well," he says, as he walks over to the counter and looks at everything. It’s a little messy, but nothing too bad. Just looks lived in. 

"Of course I know how to cook. I live alone. I had to figure out some basics at least," he says, setting cold noodles and dark, thin sauce in front of him. He comes over to Suguru’s side, puts a pair of chopsticks in his hand and kisses his cheek, "Tell me if it's good." 

Suguru sighs as he takes his noodles, dips them in sauce and slurps them. They're smooth and tasty and just perfect, as he knew they would be because Satoru doesn’t do anything less than perfect. He looks at Satoru and sees him grinning.  

Suguru smiles and shrugs. 

“Could be better.” 

His girls start giggling. 

Satoru doesn’t take it to heart, he just walks behind Suguru and puts his arms around his middle, his chin on his shoulder. 

“It’s okay. We have time to figure out what you like for breakfast, right?” 

And for thinks - yeah. They do.