Chapter Text
Percy may not be a genius like Annabeth, but he did know that it was hard to get a job at Stark Industries.
Hard may even be an understatement.
All he had wanted was to study marine biology at NYU and live peacefully with Annabeth (who was studying architectural engineering). He’d considered working at an ocean rescue centre to help injured sea creatures but felt his calling was closer to home: New York.
When Percy and Annabeth had both finished their degree’s, they both coincidentally ended up working for Stark Industries.
Annabeth working there made sense. Percy, however, did not see how a college dropout, with only expertise in marine biology, could help at a tech company – especially one this influential.
So, you couldn’t really blame him for almost missing the email from Stark Industries saying he got a job in the biochemistry department. It was so infamously difficult to get into that even a seaweed brain like him knew about it.
The email went like this:
Dear Mr Jackson,
It is my pleasure to offer you a job at Stark Industries following your application last month. We were very impressed by your problem-solving skills and ability to work well under pressure. It was also noted that you were a very interesting and enjoyable candidate to interview.
We apologise for our secrecy on the job title you applied for but now we have accepted your application you may now be informed.
We would like to offer you the position of Primary Biochemistry Department Organiser.
The base yearly salary for this position is $80,000. If you wish to apply for a promotion, raise or change in position, please contact our HR department after accepting this offer. Attached will be the employee handbook which outlines the health benefits and retirement benefits we offer.
If you choose to accept this offer, please sign below, and reply to this email with your response.
Unfortunately, at this time we are unable to disclose to you of any further details surrounding your position and daily routine within the Biochemistry Department until the date to start if you accept.
We look forward to welcoming you as a new employee of Stark Industries.
Sincerely,
Scarlett Franklin
Senior Manager of HR Department
He accepted the position immediately.
Not only did the job pay ridiculously well but it was also close to home. It was also the same place Annabeth would be working at next year so that would be a definite plus. Percy usually helped out at the New York Aquarium, gaining the well-earned title Aquaman from the kids (and Leo but that’s beside the point), so he would really miss working there. Maybe he could work there on the weekends?
It had been a month since Percy received the job offer email and today was his first day. It was safe to say he was a little nervous. Give him an empousa, or Canadian giant, or hellhound any day but the stress of the new job was killing him. Hades, at this rate he'd rather fight Kronos again rather than walk into the building.
He went in anyway.
The reception was shiny. Like the vibes the designers were going for was futuristic and smart.
It reminded Percy of some of Annabeth’s coursework models she designed and made for her degree.
He went up to the receptionist. A red-haired, Latino guy who was sitting behind a large slab of what looked like marble.
“Hi, I’m here for my new job, my name’s Percy Jackson.”
“Welcome to Stark Industries, what position are you here for?”
“Umm, primary biochemistry department organiser, I think. They just said to introduce myself to you to get an ID badge.”
“Ah, right, I have a badge for one ‘Percy Jackson’ right here if you could just sign this” He handed Percy a form talking about security (which, rude, Percy could definitely protect himself from aliens). “Just take elevator three up to the biochemistry floor.”
And before Percy could even hope to ask another question the receptionist shifted to speak to another newcomer, effectively stopping their conversation abruptly.
Percy ran into a problem almost immediately.
Cursing the gods, it was just his luck that his dyslexia was acting up while in the elevator. The words next to the buttons jumped around making it impossible to read which button he needed to press.
“βόλβιτον.” He muttered under his breath whilst trying to decipher the words on the wall.
“βόλβιτον.”
A voice startled him.
“An ancient Greek curse word literally translating to ‘cowshit’ usually used to insult others. I am the AI referred to as F.R.I.D.A.Y, created to help those within the Tower. May I be of any assistance?”
“Umm,” Percy felt almost like a dumbass for talking to a metal wall but realistically he’s spoken to some far weirder things in his lifetime, like a pink poodle, “Which button takes me to the Biochemistry Labs?”
The disconnected voice replied.
“The button seven up from the bottom, however, I am able to control this elevator to take you there.”
“Uhh sure, thanks, elevator ghost.”
“My pleasure.”
He stepped off at the seventh floor to absolute chaos.
Look, Percy knew scientists could be absolutely crazy. The Cabin 9 kids creations exploded on the daily, not to mention the fire hazard that is Leo, Cabin 6 kids were generally well behaved until you got between them and a good problem; that’s when they would bite, and when Cabin 4 kids were testing their new all-natural fertilisers that’s when you knew to make a run for it in the other direction.
The truth is Percy thought he understood scientists.
He was wrong.
The place was abandoned except the whiteboards on each wall of the lab were covered with diagrams and equations with enough Greek symbols even he could read it, every work surface was filled to the brim with bits and pieces of machines. The sound of whirring machines made the place seem even more chaotic and the groans of several people added to the atmosphere of failure.
Oh, my Gods, they’d lost it.
It was at this moment Percy realised why the position title was so vague… he was going to have to deal with the best and the brightest and make sure they didn’t lose the marbles that Stark Industries made money from.
Cautiously, Percy took a few steps towards the huddle of scientists in the next lab.
“No, listen, if we just up the mole ratio of polytetrafluoroethylene to butanoic acid then– “
“But that would never work: the polymer would become too dense for the malleability necessary.”
“That’s where you’re both wrong. I think we messed up the concentration mole equation earlier. That would explain why the formula isn’t corroborating our hypothesis it’s– ”
“The malleability levels are perfect. Something isn’t wrong with our calculations we are just missing a vital ingredient. Perhaps a stabiliser or catalyst to up the tensile strength?”
“I agree with Ray, maybe the part we are missing is a highly secret government formula or alien element that we can’t find but honestly with how long we’ve spent on this we gotta be close.”
“There’s no such thing as aliens.” The person who said that already looked sheepish as everyone levelled an unamused gaze at him.
“Thor literally lives upstairs, Anderson, stop being stupid.”
“What do you think happened at The Battle of New York… an Independence Day parade?”
“We literally studied them in school, see them on the news and at work, how are you still a sceptic?”
“The government is lying to us.”
“I give up. I refuse to acknowledge you as part of this super-secret study group anymore. Good luck figuring out Spider-man’s formula on your own.”
At this point, not only was Percy lost from the chemistry, but also realised he did not know enough about modern affairs as Camp Half-Blood rarely spoke about the impact of aliens on modern day society or superheroes at all.
He decided it was time to introduce himself.
“Hi.”
Great start, a real hook, gods he was so bad at this.
Some looked up like gaping fish, both wide eyed and shocked by his sudden interruption, others jumped slightly.
“I’m starting work here today. I was told to just come up here and you’ll just tell me what to do… no-one really explained what the job was.”
One spoke up. “I don’t know what you heard, new guy, but if anyone asks, we were discussing the properties of hexadecanol…”
“Sure,” He replied easily, “so where should I go?”
“The head of biochem’s office is down the hall to the right so I’d suggest trying there first.”
Once again, Percy went on a quest to find what the ever-loving fuck he was hired to do.
The walls of the Head of Biochemistry’s office were also covered with chemical formulas that Percy did not get at all, just his luck. At least she seemed to have an answer for him.
“Oh, you’re the new hire. My name is Dr Maria Stewart, please call me Maria. Sorry I forgot to greet you in the lobby… well you can see that we’re quite busy. We’re always busy.” She sighed, pointing at the covered walls. “HR decided we need help and I’m not going to lie to you, we do. The stuffy governing board of SI don’t particularly understand how a lab actually works compared to it in theory.”
“They put together in a single (I admit large) lab the greatest young minds of this generation with a bid to make breakthroughs and a lot of money. We have made many breakthroughs I assure you, but, well, god this sounds so stupid, the board didn’t think logistically that they wouldn’t be good at other areas. Other important areas. Like common sense.”
That caught Percy’s attention especially.
“So, my job is to have common sense.”
Well, Annabeth is going to love this. Seaweed brain and all that.
“Mostly yes, also to make sure that our employees in Lab 2b – that’s where you’ll work by the way – don’t… overdo themselves. Science can be exciting, and as much as I myself share the need for work when near a breakthrough, Lab 2b is notorious.”
Percy was realising why he had been hired. From the many years of fighting monsters his problem-solving skills were excellent, otherwise he’d be dead. Attending and working at a summer camp every year for a decade meant he knew how to deal with excited children. Also, the numerous quests he had undertaken (he told the interviewer he had led many ‘camp residentials’) meant he could make people listen and respect him.
He's been hired to babysit crazy scientists.
“So, you want me to do what exactly?”
“Umm, help? Sorry, just generally try to get things under control and we’ll see from there. At this point we need them to stop trying to break into the Pentagon’s secure files to see if they know anything about the super soldier serum. We’re desperate.”
Percy was getting paid $80,000 yearly to be basically camp councillor for smart people. Wow, rich people really did throw money at things to make them more efficient instead of trying to find out the issue.
Percy had spoken one line to the people who he assumed were from Lab 2b and he could already tell they just needed some direction. Common sense needed indeed.
Well, Percy wouldn’t complain.
“I’ll introduce you.” Maria stood up and navigated her way around the piles of paperwork stacked up on the floor.
Once they arrived at Lab 2b something already stood out. Silence. Nothing but the buzzing of the lights. The huddle Percy had seen earlier had dispersed and were now neatly sitting at their desks.
“This is Percy Jackson. He’s new, so please treat him with the respect and poise we here at Stark Industries share with all our colleagues.”
“Please introduce yourself Mr Jackson.”
All eyes were on Percy. It felt like Argus had just entered the room.
“Like you heard, my name’s Percy and I’m here to help you be productive.” Most of them looked a bit sheepish at that so Percy knew he wasn’t the first to let them know that. Now it was time to keep them interested; if they were as excitable as he’d been told all he needed to do was give them something to be curious about and they’d listen to what he says.
“Fun fact about me is that I’ve met Thor and beaten him in a fight. Any questions?”
“How?”
“I have a sword.”
“Where did you learn to fight?”
“Summer camp.”
“Was he difficult to beat?”
“Not particularly.”
“Do you have any of his blood?”
“No, but I could ask, we meet up twice a year on full moons.”
“Why?
“’The souls of the Nine Realms are aligned’, apparently, but I think he means that the vibes are immaculate at that time.”
“Can you pick up Mjolnir?”
“Am I not supposed to?”
“Are you lying?”
“Sometimes.”
“Then how do we— “
The Dr stopped further questions. “Shit, you’re good. Welcome to the team. I’m sure you’ll fit right in.” Then she quickly turned around and left him to the wolves.
Percy spent the next week figuring the best way to go about his new job. He asked many of his more scientifically inclined friends on any tips and tricks to help him.
“Make sure to stay organised, corporate tech companies especially like success and that comes from the scientists. If you and your team get overloaded with jobs, it’s likely that you’ll miss something.” Wise girl said, well, wisely.
“I forgot my right shoe yesterday.”
“That you did.” A smug voice replied
“You forgot your housekeys at work last week, I hardly think you should be sounding smug right now.”
“Jackson…”
“Chase…”
Percy narrowly missed a bludgeoning pillow.
Katie Gardener’s idea was sweet.
“Hmm, bribery? I usually make my siblings help out by either promising some lovely fresh fruit or threatening to use nature’s weapon; frozen grain.”
“That’s coercion.”
“It’s practical.” She shrugged, decidedly not looking at Percy.
He conceded. The idea might work if he dialled it down a few notches. It certainly had more chance of him giving it a go than Leo.
Percy should’ve expected Leo’s response to his question.
Without hesitation. “Bombs.”
“Safety hazard,”
“Smoke bombs,”
“Fire hazard,”
“Fart bombs,”
“Pride hazard,”
“What about saying you’ll give them some nectar?”
Percy raised an eyebrow. “Then there would be nothing that would stop Zeus from smiting me, not even Dad could stop that.”
“I can give you the blueprints I made for a fully functioning 3D printer,”
“I don’t even want to ask… what makes them different from other 3D printers,”
“They can 3D print bones.”
“I suggest talking to Nico about that,”
“Oh yeah, good idea, I got you.”
And he was gone, only the light smell of motor oil remained in his place.
The last person he went to was Will. Will was blessed with his father’s golden hair but thankfully was not blessed with his father’s dumbassery.
“Speaking from experience at medical school, have a system. Try to be adaptable too Percy so you guys can find a good rhythm.”
“Thanks, Will.” Percy smiled thankfully as he started dissipating the Iris message.
The message was cutting out as Will spoke his last piece of advice, “Also, for the love of the gods Percy, if you need me to sedate them, I’m only an IM away.”
From the next Monday onwards, Percy had a plan. At the start of the day every member would gather around a whiteboard and figure out what they needed to do.
You see, Lab 2b was special. In other Biochem labs the employees were expected to get given an assignment from a superior and get on with it; sometimes collaborating with other lab-mates. However, in Lab 2b the process was completely different.
They were what one might call a ‘gamble’ or a ‘bad idea’. The thought process was to put some very smart creative people in a room and ask for them to just experiment. Now, this went just as chaotically as you might think, but they did produce results. Very patentable results.
Just not fast enough.
They got side-tracked… a lot.
By starting the day but figuring out what the most important things were, it made sure they would get it done quickly and stay organised.
With every three large goals completed (this usually took a week between them) they could do one small non-work-related project such as use the Stark Industries materials to try and produce fully functional super-soldier serums or try to speak to dolphins (Percy laughed at that one when they begged him to take them to the aquarium. He persuaded the dolphin Jerry to do what they asked if it was within reason. Needless to say, they went ballistic).
Percy also made sure he was always around to give a helping hand.
Sometimes they needed some words of encouragement but sometimes they just needed Percy, sweet underqualified Percy, to explain to them that they’d messed up the most basic part of a calculation. Pythagoras’ theorem has done him well (not the actual guy though, bastard).
After a month of Percy’s slight nudges, the team at lab 2b had become productive. Scarily productive in fact.
One of the largest goals that they wanted to overcome was creating a sustainable chemical fuel source that could actually be mass produced to replace the awful fossil fuels. Percy had heard right from the source (local fishies and wildlife) about how horrifying oil spills were and wanted to help in every way he could to stop them.
They inexplicably did that two months after Percy joined.
The group had noticed how strongly he felt towards cleaning the ocean and combatting oceanic pollution. They had spent the last month and a half secretly working on finding a solution in their own time. You would be surprised on how powerful a bunch of geniuses could be if they were united in their goal.
For his birthday, they surprised him with a vial of the solution. They had finished frantically testing it the night before and it worked perfectly. Percy felt like throwing up. The vial felt heavy as if it was pure gold, and it basically was.
Lab 2b scientists were heralded as heroes. A patent was produced for the formula, but the team fought for it to be extremely cheap. There was no point in finding a solution if it was too expensive to even use.
The news stations scrambled for information of the heroes who had ‘solved’ climate change. Pictures of the patent were found everywhere. Someone even put a picture of it on a billboard in Times Square.
At the very top, above the names of the other patent holders it read:
‘Riptide, Prince of the Sea and Common Sense’