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In and out Thancred had said, in and out.
'The skin on the throat isn't as tough as you think, Nik,' he'd said, 'just go for it. If you fuck up, we'll get you out, but I think it's worth a shot.'
So here Nik was, dressed like a Garlean servant, heading confidently towards Zenos' chambers, Thancred's knife tucked under his shirt. He's not stopped by anyone as he approaches the door, and the guards don't even acknowledge him as he enters. He detours off to Zenos' room and gently pushes the door open. It's unlocked. Nik swallows heavily, feeling suspicious.
Zenos is asleep on his back in a huge bed when Nik enters. The room is mostly bland, with dark reds and black everywhere, weapons hung along the walls, and moonlight pours through dark curtains.
Nik keeps his footsteps light, coming up to the side of the bed and sliding out the knife. He breathes in a deep, quiet, breath, and climbs up on the bed, thankful that Zenos weighs enough and that the bed is big enough that his own weight is barely noticeable. He shifts over, inching closer and closer, staring down at Zenos' sleeping face. Slack, in sleep, he still has an overbearing presence, horror striking deep in Nik's heart, suddenly hit by the realization that Zenos is just a man. A horrible man, yes, a fucking monster, yes, but a man, nonetheless. That's what drives Nik to raise the knife, to press it to the smooth soft skin of Zenos' throat, and that's what causes Nik to become so engrossed in his task that he doesn't realize that Zenos' eyes are open, staring, and that his lips have curled into a grin.
Nik only notices, when there's blood beading from the tip of where the knife is pressed to Zenos' throat, and he finds that he cannot move his arm any further, cannot thrust the knife through his skin, cannot carve a hole in his throat and reach his hands inside and grab for his vocal cords and rip them out. Zenos is laughing, Nik realizes, as their eyes lock.
"My dear friend, here to kill me!" He's delighted, shifting his weight and suddenly, Nik is on his back, staring up at Zenos, who presents his throat like a present, hands caging in Nik's body.
Nik is not a kind man, he doesn't hesitate. He pushes the knife deeper, stays silent when Zenos lets out a delighted gasp, but frowns when Nik tries to truly kill him, twisting his wrist to go for a slash. Zenos grip returns to Nik's wrist, drawing it away from his throat, and taking the knife with him. Nik's free hand twitches and Zenos pins that down too.
"Come now, it's not fun when you really try to kill me," he says, breathless, blood dripping down his throat, pupils blown wide.
"It's not fun when you kill innocent people either," Nik grounds out, tensing against Zenos' hold on his hands.
"Bah," Zenos says, rolling his eyes, tossing his head, hair falling in his face. Nik's eyes are drawn to the small hole he'd managed to tear, the blood flowing freely from the wound. "Innocent people are so boring, their deaths don't mean anything."
"To you," Nik manages. "To you they don't mean anything."
Zenos narrows his eyes at Nik, relaxing his grip on Nik's hands and sitting back, straddling Nik's lap, still limiting his movement.
"Aren't you bored?" Zenos asks, brushing his hair over his shoulder, staring down at Nik, "Aren't you tired of being the good guy? Don't you want to sink your teeth into my neck, tear out my throat? Hm? Where's the fun in caring about all those meaningless lives when you have me?"
Nik swallows, heavily, forces back the rising horror in how on the mark Zenos is at guessing at his desires.
"No," he says instead of yes, yes, let me go, so I can dig my claws into your chest and tear out all of your organs and wear your teeth on a necklace and swallow your tongue. "There's value in all life."
Zenos sighs, annoyed, shifts his weight, lets go of Nik's hands completely.
"Prove it," he says, pressing the knife back into Nik's hand, "If there's value in all life, then why would you kill me?"
Zenos bares his throat, tilts his head back, lets his hair fall around his face in waves, moonlight spilling over him.
But Nik is not a good man. There is not value in all life. Only some. He twists the knife in his grasp, slashes across Zenos' throat, to Zenos' obvious delight, and throws his weight, twisting Zenos onto his back, so that Nik is straddling him, and gasps. Lets himself sink further into the thoughts of ripping Zenos apart and licking blood from his throat. He leans down, watches Zenos' pupils dilate, his mouth curl up, as Nik licks across the slash on his throat, and lets the knife travel farther down, sinks it into Zenos' gut, twists it. Delights in the gasp that Zenos lets out. Nik sits back, pushing Zenos' shirt up, and drags the knife across his stomach, then up, up, to his throat.
"Go on," Zenos urges, breathless, face pale, lungs heaving, "Go ahead."
Nik can't help it. He plunges his hand into Zenos' chest, sticks his fingers inbetween Zenos' ribs, uses his knife to saw them open, and finally, finally. He has Zenos' heart in his grasp. He pulls, once, twice, grunts with the effort, before dropping his knife, and pulling with both hands. It comes out easy that way, and Nik holds it up in the moonlight, admires it, chest heaving. He sits there for a moment, cradling Zenos' heart gently, before he comes back to reality, and looks down at Zenos' body. Eyes dead and lifeless, mouth dropped open, blood smeared all over him. He's beautiful like this, Nik thinks, dead, and dead, and dead, and cannot hurt anyone anymore. A weight feels lifted off of his shoulders, he climbs off the bed, tosses Zenos' heart to the floor, calling his staff to his side. Nik doesn't know much Black magic, but he does know a spell or two.
He casts fire, watches calmly as it licks up the canopy bed, engulfs Zenos' body.
"You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did you, my dear friend?"
The body - Zenos - sits up, stares at him with dark, dark eyes, full of want and desire, "We're not done yet."
Nik wakes up in a sweat, staring at his ceiling. Fuck, he thinks, glancing down. Fuck.