Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Once upon a time, mamí was all alone in room. Sometimes man would visit her, but he isn’t very nice. Mamí would cry all day and night hoping for some kind of miracle, that’s when I came along. I would kick and kick letting her know I was there. I did that until I was born! Then she didn’t need the reminder anymore, she could just look at me! She held me in her arms while man cut the cord. She looked into my eyes and said,”hello Antonio”

That was five years ago today, otherwise known as my birthday!

I’m really excited to say the least, mamí must have sense this as she told me to go back to sleep.

“But mamí I can’t! I’m five! That’s a whole hand!”

She smiles and wraps her arm around me, bringing me closer to her so that we can cuddle, mamí gives the best cuddles.

“You’re practically all grown up!” She kisses the top of my head.

After cuddles, we both get out of bed, I go say good morning to everything while mamí makes us both cereal and milk, my favorite.

Mamí says the room is small, but I disagree. Room is huge! I like room because nothing really matches, it’s different than all of the pictures, the big metal door proving that. Room looks nothing like the pictures in magazines and books! They show pictures of rooms only having a few things, and not everything like our room has. By the door, there’s the bed, then the night stand with a lamp, and then the wardrobe. Attached to the next wall, there’s a small empty space, that’s where we keep the stacks of books and magazines. A lot of it is older than me! Beside it is the sink and toilet. On the next wall over, is the bathtub, which just so happens to be by the toilet. Next to the bathtub, is the counter and then the small fridge! We keep the round table and two chairs at the middle of the room. Lastly, up above, on the ceiling is the skylight. I’m about to finish my good mornings, when mamí interrupts me.

“Enough of that,” she says setting both bowls down on the table,” come eat okay?”

“Okay mamí,” I sit down on one of the chairs and get a big spoonful of cereal.

“Take your vitamin first,” she reminds me.

I do so

“Good boy”

I smile at her and continue to eat. That’s when I notice Mamí isn’t really touching her food, she must be sad.

I set down my spoon,”mamí?”

“Yes Toñito?”

“Why aren’t you happy? It’s my birthday! We’re supposed to be celebrating”

“You’re right, I’m sorry”

“What’s wrong? Is it Dolores and Camilo?” Dolores and Camilo were mamí’s other children, but she doesn’t get to see them. Usually, it’s hard for her to talk about them.

“It’s just….. last time I saw Camilo he was five”

I smile happy,”Really? Like me?”

“Mmhm,” she nods,” he was also really excited about turning five! On his fifth birthday, he woke me up at four in the morning by jumping on my bed. He kept screaming,”I’m five!””

“How old is he now?”

“Fifteen”

“Wow that’s old”

She lets out a small laugh,”if that’s old, I hate to see what I am”

“Well, how old are you?”

“Fifty”

My eyes grew wide in shock,”people can live that long?!”

She laughs again,”sí, some even longer”

“Whoa”

“I know!”

“How old is Dolores?”

“Twenty one”

“So not as old as you”

She shakes her head no,”nope”

“You must be the oldest person alive then”

“Something like that”

“How old is man?”

“I don’t know”

“You should ask him”

“I don’t think so,” she says with a shake of her head.

Mamí is becoming upset, so I need to let this go. I decide to just finish my breakfast instead.

When mamí finally begins to eat, she hisses and places her palm on her cheek.

“Bad tooth hurting again?”

She nods,”sí”

“Don’t think about it and the pain will go away”

“Ah, how could I forget?”

I shrug making her chuckle

She smiles looking at me,”guess what we’re doing today”

“What?” I asked, I can barely contain my excitement

“We’re making a birthday cake”

I gasp,”like the ones in the books?”

She nods,” sí, exactly like that”

“Yay! Let’s go make it now!”

“Not so fast, we still have things to do before we do that, okay?”

I pout,”okay…..”

“We’ll still have a great time! We’ll have so much fun that you won’t even think about the cake! And because it’s your birthday, you won’t have to do any chores today!”

I smile happy, mamí always know how to make me feel better.

“Go draw while I clean up alright?”

I nod and do as told

Today is going to be the best day ever!

Chapter Text

It’s going to take a while before we can bake the cake. We have to do our usual routine first.

First thing first, we need to brush our teeth, this is my least favorite thing to do. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t do it at all, but mamí says it’s important.

According to her, there’s six sections I need to brush. She has to count to five a total of five times before I can move on. It can be exhausting sometimes, but at least I won’t get a visit by the cavity monster. Mamí says that’s how she got her bad tooth all those years ago. Luckily for her, I’m saving her from another visit from him, cause after I’m done we switch roles and I become the counter while she brushes her teeth. Once we’re both done, we check it off our to-do list and move on to the next task.

Since it’s my birthday, I get to wear my favorite outfit! Which is a yellow short sleeve shirt paired with black pants. Mamí picks out her outfit and we get dressed together. Today she is wearing a loose white dress, she only ever wears dresses. The last thing to do before we can check this off the list, is to do our hair. Mamí fixes up my hair before she moves onto her own. Mamí says she use to wear it in a braid but stop because it became too much for her. Now, she just clips the back of it and calls it a day. Another thing done!

Before we can do our stretches, we have to move around a few things to make room, which we did in record time!

“Ready?” She asks

“Mmhm”

“Up up up up, touch the sky”

Together, we raise our arms up and reach as high as we can. I hope one day I can reach far enough to touch the actual sky, but I don’t think that will happen. Only giants can do that, and I am no giant.

“Now go down low and touch your toes”

We both do a downward motion, but only I can touch my toes, mamí can’t quite do it yet.

“Straighten up”

I do so no problem, I can’t say the same thing about mamí. You can tell she’s in pain because she places her hand on her lower back. Somedays she can do this easily, other days are just like this one. After a few deep breathes, she is ready to do the next stretch.

“Right leg up”

I can’t tell my right or left apart, so I just wait for her to put her leg up and bring up the same leg.

I smile as an idea pops into my head,”hey mamí?”

“Yes baby?”

“I bet you can’t jump in a circle with one leg up”

“Oh you’re on!”

We both proceed to do exactly what was said. Truth be told, we do this a lot, it just makes doing stretches a lot more fun.

We continue stretching until mamí says we’re done.

The rest of the day actually went by pretty fast. First I was transformed into another world while mamí cleaned the floor. There was this ad that showed a picture of their cologne in front of a forest. I imagine myself in that same forest with my pet jaguar Parce. Everyone has a cat, dog, or even a pet pig! But not me, I have a Jaguar! Well, want I guess, although one day I’ll have him! And when that day comes, the rest of my life will be spent by going on adventures with Parce. Just the two of us! We’ll be swinging on vines through the jungle or even looking for the lost city of Atlantis, nothing can stop us! Well, that is except for mamí, we will need to do constant visits, after all, I can’t leave mamí alone again!

After I finish coming up with future adventures, mamí made me do some school work. I try to protist by saying it was a chore, but she disagreed.

Mamí has taught me everything I know! My favorite subject to learn is science! My favorite thing to learn about are animals and the weather!

Mamí’s favorite subject is reading, she says she likes to imagine she’s being transformed into the story’s world when reading. We’re alike in that way!

We don’t go over history much as mamí hates history. She tries to teach me some stuff, but she doesn’t know much on the subject.

Once writing is complete, we move on and play games! Normally we have to go over math first, so this surprised me.

Today we were secret agents completing a top secret mission! Ghost we’re on the loose and we had to capture them! It took a lot of effort, but we succeeded!

Then it was finally time to bake my cake! Mamí turned it into a math lesson, but I didn’t mind, it was still fun!

While we wait for it to bake, we made dinner and ate it. Today we had cheese sandwiches, it was delicious!

When the cake is done, mamí made me close my eyes while she gets it out of the toaster oven and does the finishing touches.

I grin really wide when I hear the plate hit the table.

“Okay open,” mamí says

I open my eyes and my smile only grows wider! Mamí used the frosting to help trace out the number five.

“Now the candles!” I say clearly excited

Mamí frowns a little,”can we do without it?”

“No, real birthday cakes have candles that light on fire! It’s in the pictures, here I’ll show you!” I go to get out of my seat but mamí stops me.

“We don’t have any candles”

This makes me upset,”you should have asked for candles for Sunday treat not stupid pants!”

“You know I have to ask for stuff we really need, stuff that he can get easily without risk. It can still be a birthday cake without candles, can’t we just try it?”

“No! You said we can have a real celebration! That can’t happen if we don’t have a real birthday cake!”

“Antonio….”

“No!” I pout,”I bet your other children had candles”

She sighs and says,”come here,” pulling me close and hugging me.

She comforts me while I cry, this isn’t fair! This was supposed to be the best day ever, I guess I was wrong. The children in books gets to have whole parties! All I get is a lousy birthday cake.

Mamí is crying too, but she isn’t as loud. If I didn’t felt her tear going down my neck, I would have never known that she was upset too.

This makes me even more upset, I don’t like it when I make mamí sad.

“Mamí?” I asks pulling away and looking up at her face.

“Yes Toñito?”

“I think I’m ready to try the birthday cake now”

She smiles and kisses the top of my head,”I love you and I’m sorry I can’t give you everything you asks for”

“It’s okay, I love you too,” I go to cut the cake but then she stops me, and I look at her confused.

“I know I’m a terrible singer, but I still need to sing for you! After all, it is your birthday”

This makes me giggle

She then proceeds to sing to me, she makes sure to be as loud as humanly possible. Afterwards, we dug in! We ended up eating half the cake! It was the best thing I’ve ever tasted!

I help mamí clean up after desert. She keeps checking the time which means it’s about to be bed time.

Together, we get ready for bed and brush our teeth. Then it’s story time! I drink some of mamí’s milk while she tells me a story. Today’s story was about a clumsy man and the town’s healer falling in love. She tells this story a lot, it’s one of my favorites.

Once we’re done, she begins to make the wardrobe comfortable for me.

I don’t want to go to bed, I’m not tired,”can we have more birthday cake?”

“Tomorrow,” she says laying down the pillow

“Just one bite?”

“We already brushed our teeth”

“What about another story? The one about a magical house with the magical people”

Mamí checks her watch again, she’s beginning to feel anxious,”Antonio, come on”

I sigh and climb in the wardrobe. When I lay down, she covers me with a blanket.

“Sing to me?” I look at her with puppy dog eyes

She looks at the door then back at me,”A boy cricket went on the savanna


Singing happily, "Gri gri gri",


And the little girl cricket, in love,


Told the cricket, "Gri gri gri.

Listen, little cricket, if you love me,
Take me to the woods where I was born-“

That’s all I got before I fell asleep. Next thing I know I’m being waken up by a thump, that must mean man is coming. Sure enough, the door opens and I hear the man’s voice.

“I got the stuff you asked for,” I look through the cracks to see him setting down a bag on the counter.

“Thanks,” mamí softly whispers

“Produce is becoming way too expensive, so I was only able to get you a few apples this time”

Mamí nods not saying anything

Man looks around the room as he takes off his shirt, that’s when he notices the cake,”what’s this? Is this a birthday cake?”

Mamí hums in response

“You should’ve told me, I would have gotten him something,” he begins to take off his pants,”how old is he now? Four?”

“Five,” I whisper even though he can’t hear me.

Mamí doesn’t correct him, instead she goes to bed. Man takes a small piece of cake and eats it before following her to bed.

I can’t see them anymore, only hear them. The bed squeaks when you move in it. Whenever I’m awake, when man is over, I always hear him moving around. He must be a trouble sleeper! My theory is proven true when I hear him grunt a few times, he must be becoming annoyed.

Because of the noise, it takes awhile before I am able to fall asleep again.

Even though it wasn’t the best day ever, mamí still managed to make it a great day.

Chapter Text

When I wake up, I’m in bed. Mamí must have moved me while I was sleeping. I look over to see if mamí is awake, and to my surprise, she is.

“Couldn’t sleep?” I ask

“I slept fine,” she says sitting up

I’m not sure whether or not I believe her, but then again, mamí never lies.

We get up to do the same thing we did yesterday, except baking a cake.

I gotten a little hungry, so we decided to have a snack before play time. I sat in the bath tub, it wasn’t turned on so I didn’t get my clothes wet, while Mamí cut an apple in half. I watch as she picked out the seeds before giving it to me.

We both take a bite and begin chewing, that’s when mamí felt something off. Her chewing gets slower and slower until she stops, most likely because she swallowed. She then reaches in her mouth and pulls out something odd in shape.

“What’s that?” I asks curious

“Bad tooth,” she says holding it up towards me so I can see it.

“Can I touch it?”

She hands it to me

I use my free hand to hold and observe it. It’s a weird shape with an ugly color, I hope my teeth doesn’t look like that.

I use the rest of snack time eating my half and looking over bad tooth. After we both finish eating, we play a game. Today we played finger dolls, it was a lot of fun!

Afterwards, mamí goes to take a nap, leaving me to be bored. I don’t feel like going through pictures, so I opt to pick at the rug instead. That’s when I see, what could possibly the greatest thing in the whole world, a mouse eating some left over crumbs from my birthday cake. He’s an actual living thing! He’s big too! Things like spiders, mosquitoes, ants, and flies are much smaller. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a mouse before! By the time he finishes, there’s no more crumbs left! For a huge guy like him, that’s not much food, so I decide to get up and feed him some more. I get a very small piece of cake and place it down on the ground. He’s about to eat it, when mamí throws a magazine at him, and he runs off.

This made me mad,”why did you do that? He’s gone! He was actually alive! He’s real!”

“He would’ve stolen our food”

“Mouse can have my food, I’m not hungry!”

“Not only would he have stolen our food, he would’ve brought in germs and bitten us in our sleep if I didn’t get rid of him”

“Mouse is my friend, and you killed him!”

“I didn’t kill him, he’s outside”

“Are you lying?”

“No, I’m not! I swear! He’s safe in the backyard with his mamí”

This makes me confused,”What backyard? Mouse lives in a yard, like in those pictures?”

I then noticed she used aluminum foil to make into a ball in order to block the hole. Instead of answering my question, she hands me the rest of the aluminum foil,”here, make something out of this”

I sigh frustrated, this is not what I want to do,”why didn’t you tell man it was my birthday?”

“He’s not our friend,” mamí says getting up and walks over to the nightstand.

“He said he’ll bring me something!”

“You’re not supposed to be listening to that, you’re supposed to be asleep”

“I never had a present”

“He didn’t mean it! He never means it!”

“It might be my jaguar, Parce”

“Antonio, we can’t have a jaguar! There’s not enough room- space! There’s not enough space for a jaguar to be here with how big he is and the scratching!”

“Parce won’t scratch, he promises!”

“There is no Parce!”

“Yes there is!” I yell standing up

“No there isn’t! You made him up in your head, he’s not real!”

“I can say the same thing about Camilo and Dolores!”

I watch in tears as mamí starts to cry after she realized what she said was wrong.

She quickly comes to me,”Antonio, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I should have never said that,” she picks me up and carries me to bed.

She continues to hold onto me as I cry,”I’m sorry, what I said wasn’t nice”

As I cry, my brain becomes overwhelmed with thoughts.

There’s room, then world with all of the pictures, than heaven.

Plants are real, but not grass.

Mouses are real, but not squirrels.

Most animals are fake, like horses, cats, dogs, and even jaguars! But not my jaguar, he’s real.

Dinosaurs are too big to be real and the ocean.

The people in pictures are flat and made of colors

But me and mamí are real

Dolores and Camilo are iffy, but I believe mamí when she says that they’re real, even if she doesn’t believe me.

I’m not sure about Man, I don’t know if he’s real, maybe half.

Eventually we both calm down, and mamí makes dinner. Today we had slices of apples with a scoop of peanut butter.

Then mamí declares its bath time. We wash ourselves first before we add in the clothes. Doing laundry is always fun, we swirl it around in the soapy water and throw it at each other! But not at our faces, we don’t want to get soap in our eyes.

We then have a race to see who can get ready first, I of course won! Brushing my teeth put me behind a bit, but I still beat mamí to it!

Mamí makes me read her a story as she hangs up the clothes on the line. She does that so our clothes can become nice and dry!

“Okay, milk time,” she says as she lifts up her nightgown.

This time, instead of the bed, we sit on the floor.

As I drink mamí’s milk, she begins to tell me a bedtime story.

“One day this woman had triplets. Since their birth, the triplets had three different personalities. Julia was kind and nurturing, Pamala never seemed to run out of energy, and Barnard was calm and quiet. Yet even with their different personalities, they seemed to have a special bond that no one can break.

They grew up as happy as can be. Then one day, on their fifth birthday, much to their surprise, three glowing doors appeared.

They asked their mamí about it, but she didn’t understand it herself. Knowing the triplets, she makes them come with her to retrieve the candle rather than letting them wait on their own.

She then says,”this must be a gift from the miracle. The miracle must have decided that the nursery was too small for you three, so it decided to give you each your own room. One by one, you will touch the candle and go to your respected door. You’ll know whose door is whose, as on each doorknob there is an initial. That initial being the first letter in your name. Wait till all three of you touched the candle to touch the doors. Then, you can all open it and see what’s in the inside”

The three of them does as told, and wait till their mother counts to three to open their doors.

The light almost blinded them! But once it settles down, they were face to face with their engraved self. On the very top of their door, was their name.

Their mamí was shocked to say the least, but didn’t say anything, not just yet.

“Can we open it?” Pamala asked excitedly, suddenly a rainbow appeared above her head!

Her siblings and mamí looked at her with wide eyes.

“What?” the little girl asks confused

Barnard points up

The little girl looks up and squeals with excitement! She then begins to jump up and down,”I have a rainbow! I made a rainbow!”

She opens her door to reveal the most beautiful room to ever exist. The walls were light yellow, and showed images matching her mood. All of the furniture in the room, was made to her liking. The best part about the whole room, was the cloud! She had an actual cloud as a bed!

She runs to it and quickly gets on to jump.

“Pamala get down, you’re not a monkey,” her mamí said in a warning tone.

“But mamí, it’s fun!” the girl giggled

“You’re going to hurt yourself!”

“Am not!”

“Mamí, can we join too?” Barnard asked

“No,” she answers

The little girl jumped a little too high and was now falling off the bed, luckily her mamí caught her before she could hit the ground.

The girl cried causing a raining cloud to grow above their heads.

“Whoa,” Julia says amazed

Pamala learned two things that day

One: trust her mamí when it says it’s not safe to do something

And two: her gift isn’t as amazing as she originally thought

From then on, she had to learn how to control her emotions in order to do what’s best for Encanto. She would be happy so that there will be sunlight, and sad when the crops needed rain. Her weather was meant to benefits others, even if she, herself, was hurt.

Despite that, she was still able to live a long, happy, life.

The end”

I pull away,”but what about Julia and Barnard?” Truth be told, mamí has told this story many times, so I already know what happens, but I would still like her to retell it.

“Tomorrow we’ll go over Julia’s side, then the next night Barnard’s.”

“Can’t we just do it now?” I whine

“I went way over time, we need to get you to bed now,” she says standing up and opening the wardrobe.

“I’m not tired!”

“Then count sheep,” she says as she puts a pillow inside the wardrobe to make it more comfortable for me.

“Mamí!”

“Antonio, bed now”

I sigh and do as told. She covers me with a blanket and gives me a kiss,”goodnight, I love you”

“Love you too”

She gives me one last kiss before closing the wardrobe doors. As soon as she did, I yawned, turns out I am tired.

On this night, I missed man’s visit, as I was fast asleep. Tonight I dreamt about the magical people in Encanto. I know it will never happen, but I still hope to visit Encanto someday.

Chapter Text

-Pepa POV-

Antonio was still fast asleep by the time I got out of bed. I woke up an hour ago, but couldn’t bring myself to move, so I opted to watch him sleep instead. When I do move, I go over to the small round table, with a small, stuff, green dinosaur in the center, and I sit down on one of the chairs.

Last night, man had came later than usual, I’m worried about what that might mean. Maybe it was because he actually got Antonio a gift, but I doubt it. He could’ve gotten the gift much earlier in the day, so why was he so late? Right after Antonio was born, we set a time for him to come. He’s never been late, at least not without warning. What if he’s getting bored with me? What would happen to me and Antonio? Would he go as far as to kill us? As much as I hate being here, I can’t stand the fact knowing that another poor woman might have be in this hell hole.

I flinch at the sound of a gasp, I turn to see Antonio looking at his present amazed, I hope he doesn’t notice I flinched.

He practically leaps out of bed,”can I play with it?”

“Mmhm”

“Cool!”

He quickly picks it up and goes to the floor to play a loud game with it.

I try to ignore my growing migraine as I watch him play.

I’m glad he’s happy, but at the same time I’m disappointed. With this, he might think that man isn’t so bad after all. Oh gosh, what if he starts believing that man is the good guy? I yelled at him yesterday, he probably hates me! That would mean that I’m the bad guy, shit.

“Clear skies, clear skies,” I quietly repeat as I try to slow down my heart rate. I don’t have my gift anymore, I shouldn’t be having to say this, but at the same time I feel as if I have to, Antonio has already been terrified enough by me. No wonder he hates me, I would hate myself too. As much as I am blessed to have him, everything would have been so much better if god would have killed me instead. No child should have to live like this! Antonio should have been Julieta’s son, at least then, he could be out there enjoying life. I’m a terrible mother for letting him live like this.

“Mamí?”

Hearing his voice, snaps me out of my thoughts,”hmm?”

“I’m hungry”

“Oh right,” gosh I forgot to feed my child, what kind of mother am I? “What do you want?”

“Cereal and milk! Can you make a bowl for Dino too?”

I stand,”Of course,” I say trying to match his enthusiasm.

“I’ll go take my vitamin while I wait”

“You took the last one yesterday,” I say walking over to the counter

“Oh…. Is man getting more?”

“I would think so”

“Should Dino get vitamins as well? Although his would be imaginary, like his bowl of cereal, you can’t feed something that’s not real! How does man eat? Does he eat like us? Is he-“

I cut him off mid sentence,”Antonio! Please just go play alright? I’ll get you when breakfast is ready”

He frowns a little but nods,”okay mamí”

While he plays, I make three bowls of cereal and milk, with one being imaginary for Dino.

We continue on with the day like how we’ve been doing for as long as he can remember. Other than a few slight differences, all of the days are the same. I’ve been living the same day for the last five years. The only thing that made it tolerable, was Antonio. I don’t know what I would do without him, probably go insane. After all, who can stand being all alone for ten years.

“Mamí?”

Once again I’m snapped out of my thought,”hmm?”

“I finish with my school work,” he hands me his paper.

I look it over, if I have to be honest, I had forgotten which subject we were on, but by looking this over I can see it was writing which means we’re finish with school for the day.

Ever since Antonio was three, I begged man for workbooks. I don’t know what I should be teaching, or how to for that matter, having workbooks would schooling him so much easier. Man wouldn’t get it though, he claimed it was too much of a risk to get. So here I am, trying to remember what the fuck a five year old is supposed to know.

“Mamí? Is it good?”

Shit, I really need to stop zoning out,”it’s great baby! You’re so smart! I’m so proud of you!”

This makes him smile,”really? You mean it?”

“Wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t”

He giggles,”thank you!”

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“Since you did such a good job, we’re going to play two games today”

His eyes grew wide with excitement,”really?! Can Dino join too?!”

“Well of course! It wouldn’t be a blast without Dino!”

“Yay! What are we going to do?”

“First, I thought we would play the screaming game! We need to try and get the Aliens attention!”

“I love that game!”

I chuckle, he’s so cute,”then I thought we could play finger dolls again but this time add Dino! We can pretend to be in a village when a big ole dinosaur comes!”

“We think he would be attacking us when really he’s just a friendly animal who needs help!”

“Exactly!”

“Sounds like fun! Let’s do it! We need to start now so that we can be done by the time we need to make dinner!”

“Oh my gosh, you’re right! You’re so smart!”

“I know!” He beams getting out of his seat

I laugh and get out of my seat

Antonio stands on the bed to be closer to the vent, while I stay on the ground and look up at the skylight. I would stand on a chair, but considering how old and rusty it is, I’m afraid it will break on me if I did.

“On the count of three okay?”

He nods

“One. Two. Three!” We both scream on the top of our lungs. Even though I know it’s doubtful, I’m hoping Dolores will hear us. Or anyone for that matter, as long as it’s not him.

We both begin to quiet down as we get out of breath.

Antonio turns to look at me,”why do the aliens never scream back?”

“Because they still can’t hear us”

“We’ll scream even louder, okay?”

“Okay,” I nod still out of breath

We wait a second before we start screaming again. Our gifts only work within Encanto, so once outside of it, nothing, not even a lousy cloud. Although I know Dolores cannot hear my screams, I’m pleading with god to preform another miracle so that she will. Though it’s hopeless, I still must try, not just for me, but for my kids in general. Antonio needs to get out of here and Camilo and Dolores needs their mom.

We do a few more attempts, every one of them failing. It’s stupid, I know, we’re never going to get out of here.

We then begin to play finger dolls with Antonio’s new toy.

Much to my disliking, Antonio has never had a toy or any game for that matter. I would love to teach him how to play marbles or even cards, but man refused to get it, once again using the excuse of how it’s too much of a “risk”. Risk my ass.

After we finish, Antonio goes to play with his dinosaur alone while I start on dinner. I don’t even know what I’m making, I’m just putting cheese on bread and putting it in the toaster oven, maybe I should just call it a pathetic grilled cheese.

I hear Antonio in the background, the amount of “roars” he’s saying is insane.

“Mamí!” Antonio yells,”he’s attacking me!”

“Oh no,” I say as I go on to make the second pathetic mess.

“You shall die,” he says in a deep voice

“Nooooo,” he screams

I just finish putting the cheese on the bread, when Antonio stops playing.

“Mamí what smells bad?”

I look over at the toaster oven,”shit!” I quickly go over to it and take out the burnt sandwich. I toss it on the counter frustrated.

Antonio fakes a gag

I put my hands up to my face and scream.

I eventually get everything sorted out and we have dinner. The burnt smell still fills the room.

Tonight for our little activity before bed, Antonio wanted to read me a story, so I let him do just that. He picks the book “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” and begins reading. This is his favorite book by far, he practically knows it by heart.

So that we don’t go over time again, I can only let him read three pages before I have to make him stop.

Antonio said he wanted to give me another chance to beat him, so once again we race to see who can get ready for bed first. I let him win, but I don’t let him know that.

“I win again!” He smiles jumping up and down

“Well of course you did, you’re tough to beat”

“I’m superior!”

I laugh,”okay super Antonio, it’s milk time. Do you want to hear Julia’s side?”

He shakes his head no

I look at him confused,”you practically begged me to tell you yesterday, what changed?”

“I want to hear more stories on Pamala”

“How about the time when Pamala lost her first tooth?”

“Yeah!”

I wait for him to get settled before I tell him the story. People would probably judge me if they knew I still breastfeed him, but how can I not? At least this way, he’s getting something. I can’t feed him the proper amount of nutrients. It’s clear that he doesn’t get enough food, yet I can’t give him more. I have to somehow managed to make very little food survive a week.

“The end,” I say stroking his cheek

He pulls away pouting,”one more story?” Every night he tries to postpone going to bed, knowing damn well I won’t give in.

I shake my head no,”you need to get some sleep”

“I’m not tired!”

“You will be,” I get up so I can make his temporary bed in the wardrobe.

“I bet man will let me stay up”

I stop, what do I say to this? Everyday he seems to get more curious about things, especially when it comes to man. “Trust me, he would want you to go to sleep”

“How would you know?”

“I just do!” I can’t give him the real reason, so hopefully he drops this and moves on.

Antonio must have sense my discomfort, he stops and let’s me put him to bed without any arguments.

I give him a kiss,”I love you”

“Love you too”

I give Dino a kiss,”welcome to the family, goodnight, I love you”

When Antonio smiles at this encounter, my heart just melts.

“Goodnight,” I close the doors and wait for man to arrive.

I tap my foot anxiously when I notice he’s late, again. Luckily this time it was only by 30 minuets.

“What’s that smell?” He asks as soon as he walks in

“Sorry, I burnt some cheese”

“Yeah-“

I cut him off,”I just wasn’t thinking”

“Thinking has never been your strong suit”

“I know”

He sets down two bags on the counter, which meant he had gone to the store. I begin unloading them,”why don’t you sit down?”

“Thank you,” he says sitting down on one of the chairs

“Mmhm”

“So how did he like his dinosaur?”

I don’t respond, I just continue putting the groceries away.

He smiles,”yeah?” He nods,”yeah, I know boys,” he chuckles.

I look in the bags to see there’s no vitamins, he didn’t get what I asked for,”where are the vitamins?”

“It’s a waste of money, there’s nothing in them”

I look at him in disbelief, I then turn my attention back to the two bags,”well if I had a better diet,” I mumble

“Fuck, here we go again,” shit, I made him angry,” maybe if you would stop complaining, and be a little grateful”

“Thank you,” I whisper

“God it’s fucking exhausting dealing with your shit all of the time”

I look at him,”thank you for everything”

He becomes silent

Once I’m done with everything, he begins talking again,” you just have no idea about the world of today.”

“No”

“No. Who pays the bills? Who pays for everything?”

“You”

“Mmhm,” he nods,” and how do you think I’m going to be able to keep doing that?”

I look at him confused,”what do you mean?”

He looks back up at me,”nothing, really”

“No, what does that mean?”

“No one new ever comes! No building ever needs upgrading! Six months I’ve been out of work! Just when I think I got a construction job again, it’s fucking volunteer work. But of course I have to do it, I’m going to look like an ass if I don’t. If you have to worry your little head-“

I interrupt him,”what are you going to do about it? Are you looking for a job? The farmers in Encanto are always looking for people to help with the crops”

“That’s not what I fucking do,” he yells slamming his fist on the table,”Jesus-“ he stops when there’s a thump.

We both look at the wardrobe

He leans closer to it,”hey there”

“He’s asleep”

“I don’t think so,” he gets up from his seat to get a closer look. He then looks back at me and points to the wardrobe,”do you keep him in the closet all day as well as all night?”

I stay silent, please god please let him leave Antonio be.

He chuckles and looks back at the wardrobe,”what does the little freak have two heads or something?”

He walks over to the piece of furniture,”hey”

I go over to him,”hey-“

“Shhhhh,” he pulls out something out of his pocket

“Come to bed”

“Hey Antonio, hey-“

“Let’s go to bed”

“Want some candy? You like candy? Huh? Come on out and get some candy”

“Come to bed,” I say in a more stern voice

He looks at me, I’m afraid he might yell and scare Antonio again

“Please?”

He stands,”please?” He lightly chuckles as he begins to take off his shirt,”didn’t your mama ever teach you some manners?”

I don’t say anything, instead I just lay down on the bed.

He gets out of Antonio’s view and finishes taking off his clothes before he comes join me. His disgusting self gets on top of me, this time instead of taking off my nightgown, he just pulls it up. His penis enters my body, he’s not wearing a condom, then again, he never does. He starts to moan, and I cringe— fortunately, he didn’t notice. He continued at this for god knows how long, till finally he stops. At first, I think he is finished, I should’ve known better as he brings his penis up to my mouth.

“Please, not tonight,” I whisper softly, hoping Antonio is asleep.

Begging doesn’t get me anywhere

He yanks my mouth open and sticks his penis inside.

“Maybe this is how Antonio taste,” he whispers smirking.

If he wasn’t still here, I would have puked.

After some time, he finally pulls out and gets off the bed. I pull my nightgown down while he slips on his underwear.

I scoot over to make some room for him.

He smiles laying down,”night”

“Night,” I whisper

We were able to fall asleep quickly, which is remarkable because I rarely sleep with him around.

I was barley able to get, what felt like, one minuet of sleep, when I woke up sensing something was wrong. My fear was proven true when I hear man say,”hey son”

I quickly get on top of him to push Antonio out of the way,”get away from him”

Antonio screams and runs back to the wardrobe.

“Don’t touch him!” I shout,”don’t touch him!”

“You son of a bitch!” Man quickly shoves me off and forces me to lay down on my stomach,”stop”

“Don’t touch him!”

“Quit the noise!” He begins to choke me

I try to gasp for air, but it’s useless. Despite that, I keep trying to fight back,”don’t touch him”

“Quit the noise,” his hold on me gets stronger.

I clutch the sheets as a I struggle against him

“Do you want to breath? Yeah, you want to breathe? Then shut the fuck up!”

I just slowly nod, I need live, for Antonio.

“God!” He let’s go of me and gets off the bed

I grab my neck as I struggle to catch my breath. “Don’t touch him,” my voice is now raspy, but I don’t care.

He starts putting on his clothes,”you ever grab me like that again, you ever touch me like that again, I’ll fucking kill you. Do you understand that?”

“Don’t touch him”

“Yeah, don’t you forget where you got him,” he pushes in the code on the keypad and leaves.

“Antonio,” I call out, ”Antonio”

He comes running out,”I’m sorry,” he cries as he goes over to me

I pick him up and cuddle him

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to”

“Are you okay?”

“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry,” he continues to cry,”I won’t do it again”

“Shhhhh it’s okay”

“I’m sorry”

I try to comfort Antonio to the best of my abilities. He’s absolutely terrified, I should’ve never brought him into this world. I may have screwed up then, but maybe there’s something I can do about it now. After all, we can’t continue living like this, we need to get to out of here.

Chapter Text

I must have fallen asleep cause suddenly it’s morning and there’s sweat trickling down my face. I move the covers off of me, it’s too hot for that.

I look over at mamí, who is peacefully asleep, and quickly notice the bruise on her neck. Mamí says when she gets a bruise that means to man she has been bad, when in reality that wasn’t always the case. She claims man is very sensitive, in other words, he’s a cry baby.

I raise my hand and caressed the bruise on her neck. She doesn’t deserve this, she wasn’t even being bad, she was just protecting me. I’m the one who caused man to get angry, I should’ve gotten the bruise instead.

Mamí does a light groan, she doesn’t want to be waken up just yet. I sigh and lay on my back, that’s when I notice I’m sweating all over. It wasn’t your average sweat, no, it was bad. Am I melting?! When you’re five in Encanto, that’s when you get your gift, maybe I’m getting my gift! I can melt! If I wanted to, I can become a puddle! I know I shouldn’t wake mamí up, but this is important.

“Mamí,” I whisper, shaking her slightly,”I got my gift! I can melt!”

Her eyes snap open,”what?” She quickly looks me over and then at the small fan on the nightstand. She reaches over me to retrieve it. She then bangs on it a few times, but it doesn’t move,”shit”

“What’s wrong?”

“The battery is out, we can’t replace it because it was our last one”

“Oh, so I’m not melting?” this makes me a little sad, I should’ve known better, after all, magical gifts aren’t real.

She shakes her head no while getting off the bed,”no, but I can help you cool down”

She gets a cup from the cupboard and turns on the sink but nothing happens. Naturally, this makes us confused. She frantically turns it off and on but nothing, no water comes out, not even a drop.

“Mamí?”

She ignores me and tries to flush the toilet, the same thing as before happens, nothing, it doesn’t flush. Now all that’s left is the bathtub, which she immediately goes to. She does the same thing she did with the sink, yet, once again, no water comes out, nothing happens.

Mamí looks like she’s on the verge of tears,”he turned off the water.” She walks over to the door, and tries to open it using her hands, not surprisingly, she fails, like always.

She shouldn’t be doing this, it’s too hot for that,”How are we supposed to cool down now?”

“I don’t know! Let me think,” she pinches the bridge of her nose frustrated.

Mamí’s smart, a genius even, so it doesn’t take her long to figure out a plan,”take off your shirt, we’re only going to be in our underwear today, okay?”

I nod and do as told, too afraid of what will happen if I don’t.

Mamí takes off her nightgown, she then goes over to the big stack of books and magazines. She picks up two magazines and toss one to me,”want to learn a trick?”

I smile really wide,”like a magic trick?”

“Sorta,” she then demonstrates how to use a magazine as a hand held fan.

I never had to do this before, as we have a fan that moves all on it’s hold! It works with something called batteries! When it’s dead, you just replace the battery and boom it works again! We couldn’t do it this time, cause this was our last one and man didn’t get us more.

“Good, you’re doing good,” mamí smiles,”keep doing that while I make breakfast, okay?”

“What about you?”

“I cooled myself down already, it worked faster for me because god knows I had to feed you breakfast”

“Really?”

She nods going over to the counter,”Mmhm”

“That’s so cool!”

While she makes breakfast, I continue to fan myself. When ever my hand started to hurt, I would just do it with my other hand. Then if the same thing happens, I’ll do the same thing again! I got bored waiting so I made a game out of it, hand number one got two goes while hand number two had only one go. I had to stop because mamí says breakfast was ready, today we had a slice of peanut butter toast.

It doesn’t take me long to finish it! By the time I’m done, mamí has only eaten a corner off of her piece.

I look at her concern,”mamí?”

She shifts in her seat, so that she’s sitting up. She then looks down so that she’s looking me in the eyes,” Antonio, do you remember mouse?”

I nod not saying anything

“Do you know where he is?”

I think about it for a second before shaking my head no. Two days ago mamí said he went outside in backyard, but that doesn’t make any sense as there’s no such thing. He could be floating around in world or up in heaven with god, I’m not sure though.

“Well I do”

This just makes me confused, I don’t know why we’re talking about this. Last time this conversation led us to fighting, I don’t want to fight again.

“He’s on the other side of the wall”

Mamí must be getting delusional from all of this heat,”what other side?”

“Antonio, there’s two sides to everything”

“Not in a circle, a circle has no sides”

“I’m talking about a wall though,” she holds up her hand so that her palm was facing the wall with the counter and the other side of her hand was facing the wall with the wardrobe,”you see there’s two sides!” She uses her other hand to demonstrate this. Using her demonstrating hand, she makes a fist. Her fist is in front of her palm,” see where on the inside while,” she moves the fist to the other side of her hand,”while mouse is on the outside”

“In world? But the world is empty”

“That’s not true, in our world, there’s an outside”

“I can’t see the outside-side”

“When you were younger, I was afraid you wouldn’t understand, so I told you something different. But you’re older now, so much older, and so smart too! I know that you can get this!”

I don’t think mamí got that much sleep last night, she isn’t making a lot of sense. When she’s really tired, sometimes she says stuff as if the stories were real, she then takes a nap and realize everything she said was wrong. I should put mamí down for a nap, maybe that would help.

She has yet to give up though,”where do you think man gets our food?”

Finally, a question I know the answer to,” he goes into the world of books by magic!”

She shakes her head no, dismissing the idea,”that’s not real magic, what you see in those books and magazines, those pictures-“

I accidentally cut her off, I can’t help it, I’m too excited,”that man can go into!”

“No,” this makes me frown a little, mamí notices but she doesn’t do anything about it, she just continues talking,” in those pictures, the majority of the stuff you see, are real! Real things, real people, real stuff, it’s all real! All of which are in the world!”

“Dorthy is real, for real?” I can’t believe it, hopefully I get to meet her someday.

“No, Dorothy is a drawing. But other people, that have faces like us, that looks like us, that you see in magazines, those are pictures of real things! Stuff like oceans, grass, trees, jaguars, squirrels, those are real!

Okay that’s it, she’s definitely going crazy,”No way! How would they all fit?”

“They just do, they just fit. They all manage to fit in this world, so much so, that’s there still a lot more space for everyone! It’s not packed together, it’s spread out.” She sighs, she must know that I don’t believe her,”Antonio come on, you’re so smart! I know that you can get this! I know you’ve been wondering about all of this stuff”

I can’t take this anymore, I need to end the conversation,”can I have something else to eat?”

Mamí rolls her eyes, I think she’s getting annoyed. She then moves her head back so that way she was looking up at skylight.

I know I’m right because she starts pointing up at it,”there’s a leaf! Do you see it?”

I look up at skylight, trying to see what she’s looking at,”what leaf?”

“Look!”

Other than the strange thing with an odd shape, there’s nothing else, no leaf,”I don’t see anything”

“Come here,” mamí gets out of her seat,”I want you to see,” she then picks me up and stands on the chair.

I’m surprised by this, mamí never lets me stand on the chair, she claims I’ll fall off with how rusty it is.

“See that? See?” she’s pointing to the odd shape thing, which I can now see is brown.

“Stupid mamí, that’s not a leaf! Leaves are either grey or green, and they have a round bottom with one point on the top!”

“Leaves are only grey in the books, but this one is real! Leaves can come in all sorts of shape and colors! At this time around, they’re green!”

“This one is brown!”

“Yeah, but that’s just because it fell off the tree and rot, like salad in the fridge!”

“Where’s all the stuff you said? The trees, grass, jaguars, squirrels?”

She sets me down,”we can’t see it from here because skylight looks upwards instead of sideways”

“You’re just lying to me”

“No, I’m not!”

“Liar liar pants on fire!” I shout

“Antonio!” Mamí is getting frustrated,”I couldn’t explain it to you before because you were too small, to small understand, so I made up a story! Now I’m doing the opposite, I’m unlying, this story is real!”

“So, Dolores and Camilo are characters in a made up story?”

“No, they’re real, they’re just out there, outside! I never lied about them”

“I don’t believe you”

“You’re five now! You’re five so you’re old enough to understand what the world is actually like! You have to understand Antonio, you just have to! We can’t keep living like this, you need to help me!”

“I want to be four again!”

Mamí sits down, she is trying her best not to cry. I hate that I’m making her feel like this but she needs to understand all of this is fake, it isn’t real! It’s a story that she made up. I think we’re finally done with the conversation, I’m about to give her some time to herself, but I stop when she speaks up again,”you remember how Dorthy wasn’t always in emerald city?”

She did move on! This makes me happy, I love The Wizard Of Oz,”she was caught up in a tornado! The house went round, round, and round until it landed on the wicked witch of the east!”

“Right, well, I’m like Dorthy! I was a woman named Pepa!”

Oh no, here we go again,”nope!” I say emphasizing the P, mamí needs to stop at this game of hers.

“And I lived in casita with my mom, sister, and my other children, aka your siblings! You would call all of them abuela, tía, sister, and brother!”

“What casita?”

“A house, it was in the world, in Encanto”

“Encanto is a story you made up!”

She shakes her head no,”no, all of the stories I told you were actually real. I just said it was fake and switch up the names so you wouldn’t know the truth about the real world, about my past. But I’m telling you the truth now! We all had magical doors, we all had gifts! Casita had a backyard, a real backyard! With a picnic table, so that way we can just hang out, or even eat outside if we wanted to!”

This can’t be real, she’s just lying again,”a book house?”

“No Antonio, a real house, not in a book. Are you even listening to me?”

Now I’m the one holding back my tears

“Back then, when I was 40, it was the day before my niece’s fifth birthday. I was walking up the hill so that I could check on the crops-“

I cut her off, this time on purpose,”where was I?”

“Still up in heaven! But there was a guy, he pretended to act nervous. He told me that Camilo and Mirabel were in trouble”

“What guy? Who is Mirabel?”

“Man! We call him man, I don’t know his actual name. Mirabel is your cousin. He told me Camilo and Mirabel were out in the woods. Mirabel stuck on the tree, and Camilo on the ground because he fell off. He told me that Camilo was unconscious and that my sister was trying to help him. He said it wasn’t looking good, so I followed him to see my son-“

“Was he okay?”

“Antonio, he lied, Camilo and Mirabel weren’t there! He was trying to trick me, okay? They weren’t there, they were never there, man stoled me”

A tear rolls down my cheek, this is getting out of hand,”I want a different story!”

“No! This is the story that you get!” she says in a more stern voice,” he knocked me out and put me in his tool shed, room is the shed. He locked the door, he’s the only one that knows the code. You know the secret numbers that opens the door? He’s the only one who knows it, and I’ve been locked in here for ten years! Ten years! Do you understand?”

“This story is boring!”

“Antonio, baby, the world is so big! It’s so big, filled with lots of things you won’t even believe! Room is just a stinky, little, part of it”

“Room isn’t stinky! It only stinks when one of us farts!”

“My god, okay,” at this point I can see that she accepts defeat.

“I don’t believe in your stinky world!”

“I get it!” she hugs herself and starts to cry.

I decide to leave her alone, so I go quietly play with Dino instead.

For the rest of the day, we don’t speak much. Despite that, Mamí still tries her best to keep me cool, last night she forgot to refill the jug with water, so now we have to ration out the little water we have left.

She wouldn’t even let me brush my teeth, I forgot her reason why, it was something about my saliva though. I was afraid the cavity monster will get to me, but mamí assured me he won’t under these circumstances, whatever that means.

Once in awhile she’ll open up the fridge to let the cool air in. Like when I brush my teeth, she counts to five a total a five times before closing it. I had asked her why we couldn’t keep it open all day, and she goes on explaining about how if we do that then the food will go bad.

If I wasn’t being cooled down, then I was playing silently while mamí thinks to herself. She doesn’t say her thoughts out loud, but I have a hunch that she’s thinking about our conversation from this morning.

Finally it’s bed time, it had felt as if an entire week has past in this single day. Mamí makes me stay in my underwear for bed, usually I wear a shirt too, but she says it’s too hot for that.

During milk time today, she doesn’t tell me a story, she just sits silently as I drink. After I’m done, she gets up and begins to make my temporary bed.

I sigh disappointed,”I don’t want to sleep in wardrobe anymore”

“I know,” she says, she doesn’t stop what she’s doing though.

I understand why she has to do this, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck

“Ready for bed?”

“I guess so,” I go in the wardrobe without a fight

She kisses me goodnight, but doesn’t say her usual love you.

I stop her before she can close the doors,”mamí?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you leave it open till man stops by?”

She bites her bottom lip, she looks at the big door then back at me,”sure, but as soon as I hear him coming-“

“You shut the doors,” I say finishing her sentence for her.

She just smiles at me

I work really hard to fall asleep quickly, luckily it worked, I didn’t want to be awake for man’s visit.

Chapter Text

- Pepa POV -

“Mamí,” Antonio whispers, nudging me,”Mamí!”

I groan in response

“I had to go pee, so I did, and afterwards I went to flush the toilet and it worked! The water is back on!”

I open my eyes to see him looking at me with wide eyes

“Did you hear me? The water is back on!”

I roll my eyes and turn to lay on my right side, facing away from him.

“Mamí,” he continues to nudge me but I ignore him

He finally gets it and decides to leave me be.

As Antonio would call it, I am having an “off day.” I try my best to get through the days, but sometimes, like today, I just can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t have to worry about Antonio as he knows how to do the routine on his own, he doesn’t need my help. But boy is he loud when he does it. I bring the blanket up and over my head, I just want to sleep. I’m tired. I’m tired of this stupid shit, I need god to bring me out of my misery. Please god, please just kill me already, I can’t do this anymore.

It’s funny, with my time spent here, I’m either begging God for a miracle or hating him with everything inside of me, it’s always one or the other, never in between.

He should have killed me, I should be dead by now, but instead he brought me that disgusting human being, otherwise known as my son. I know I shouldn’t say this about Antonio, most days I don’t see him that way, yet on days like today, I can’t help but remember he’s half human half monster. He has man’s DNA in him. Even if we do get out of here, man will always be apart of my life, all because of him.

Even on a normal day, I can’t stand him, I’m such a terrible mother because of it. Granted it’s not every day, but then again, I shouldn’t be thinking that in the first place. I love him, I do, it just sometimes it’s hard. Raising children has always been hard, then again, other children have homes to go to and families that love them. All Antonio has is me, he doesn’t even have a home. Room isn’t home. He should be at casita, showing off his new gift to his friends, instead he’s stuck with me. All we do is hang out with each other and sleep, we’re never separated. We haven’t even been in separate rooms, we can’t, we’re stuck. I try to make living here as normal as possible for him, but even that isn’t working. He needs to be out in the world, not cramped up in a small space. It’s only going to get worst when he grows older. I’m a terrible mother for bringing him into this world.

I hate how he makes me bring up the past, other than the stories, I try my best to get away from it. It’s not like I’ll ever see my family again. The stories are for Antonio, so that he can get to know them, I hate doing it but it has to be done. I’m going to do everything in my power for him to escape, even if that means him leaving me behind. I just want him to know what he is getting into before he officially joins the family, hopefully. I guess I mean hopefully in both ways, as in escape and joining the family. I know I won’t be with him, so I hope that my family just believes him when he says he’s mine. I hope that they would accept him, I don’t know what I would do if they won’t.

I hate how much he resembles him. If people could hear my thoughts, they would probably think I’m talking about man, but I’m not. In reality, I’m talking about Félix. Oh gosh, I miss him. I miss the scent of his cologne, I miss how he somehow manage to always light up the room, I miss seeing him with our kids, I miss everything about him. When I talk to Antonio about the family, I make sure to leave out Félix, or at least I try to. Most of the time, when I find myself thinking about him, I would distract myself so he gets out of mind. It’s harder to do so with Antonio around, he’s practically a mini Félix, I hate it.

Félix is a great husband, he’s done everything for me, and yet I failed him. Not only did I cheat on him, but I left him alone to raise our children. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t talk about me to Dolores and Camilo, after all, I hurt him. Why shall my memory live on when all I’ve been was a terrible wife and mother?

I would be there right now if it wasn’t for man. Even in this little fantasy, Antonio would be there, except he would be our surprise baby instead of what he actually is. It may be hard with Antonio around, but I still love him, I would never want to give him up, not even in a fantasy. He brought light in when I was in the complete dark, he’ll always be my little light. I’m only willing to give up my little light, if that means getting him home safe. Room is not, nor will it ever, be his home. He may not have ever been there, but Casita will always take that rightful spot of being his forever home, just like it was for me.

I say was as I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back there again. With all the escapes in mind, Antonio has always been the one out while I stayed behind. Whether I’m dead or alive when that happens, is beyond me. I just know whatever happens, my family will be there for him.

I can see his face lit up when he sees his door for the first time. I know it won’t be his fifth birthday, but he is five, and the miracle is bound to give him a gift…. I would hope. Then again when has the miracle ever let us down? I just wish I was able to see my niece’s gift ceremony, but instead, I was here, in room.

——————————————————————

- 10 years prior -

The first thing I took in, when I woke up, was my pounding headache.

“Ah shit,” with my eyes still close, I bring my right hand up to the back of my head, sure enough, there is a bump.

That’s when I take notice of the not so smooth sheets,”what the-”

At this point I am afraid to open my eyes, too afraid of what I might see. So far, its seeming like a nightmare.

“Think Pepa think,” I say as I try to remember what happened last.

Julieta was cooking, panicking there wouldn’t be enough food for tomorrow. Bruno and I were taking turns watching her, making sure she doesn’t go to overboard mode.

We must have switched out as the next thing I remember was me being at the field. This guy approached me, speaking frantically, it was as if he was saying a million words per minuet. What was he saying?

Next thing I know he’s leading me in the forest and the rest is blank.

I lower my hand and cross my fingers,”please let this be a nightmare, please let this be a nightmare, please let this not be real”

I open one eye then the next, and sure enough, I wasn’t having a nightmare, this is real.

I take a moment to check my surroundings. There’s the basic necessities, and that’s it. Everything is so small, this room had to be smaller than the nursery. I keep looking back at the table, with the two chairs, one is clearly for me while the other must be for him.

My heart pace quickens,”clear skies, clear sk-“ I stop. There’s no winds, no clouds, nothing. I’m powerless.

I’ve never been without my gift before, well at least from what I remember. I may not have been born with it, but I got it when I was five, I have no memories from when I was that small. So, to me, I’ve always had my gift.

I go to get off of the bed and freeze. Attached to my left ankle, is a long silver chain. I look to see the other end of the chain, to find out it’s connected to the end of the bed. Oh gosh, its as if I am a dog on a leash.

“Clear skies,” I tell myself as I stand. I know that I no longer need to say it, yet I can’t help but repeat the comforting phrase. I almost let out a laugh, I can’t believe I just called it comforting when It was anything but. Typically, I like to refer it as the haunted phrase, which I should be calling it that right now, but I can’t. I don’t understand how this saying that has caused me pain my whole life, can now make me feel somewhat better. Perhaps it has to deal with the situation. What am I saying? Of course it has to deal with this.

I need to be practical here, if I have any chance of escaping, I need to test the chain. I move to the corner diagonally across from the bed, it’s tight, which mean it’s the furthest it can go.

I look at the door then the bed. Even if you turn the bed onto its side, because of the frame, there’s no way it can fit through the door. That must mean, he had to take apart the frame in order to get it to bring it in.

I bite my bottom lip, I don’t have tools, but….. I look over at the small counter, I could maybe have a knife.

I move away from the bathtub and to the counter. I squat and open the cupboard, only to find a loaf of bread. I stand and move on to the shelves above the mini fridge, there I find reusable plastic dishes, two of each thing so two plates, bowls, spoons, and forks, but only one knife. There’s no way this knife can unscrew shit. I can’t lose hope, not just yet.

I open the fridge just to see a tomato, an apple, and some lettuce. How long is this food supposed to last me? My stomach growls at the thought.

I then close the fridge,” Félix is going to barge through the door any second. He’s going to take you home and Julieta is going to cook you up a nice meal. There is no reason to eat here”

My head shots right up, I try to ignore my pounding heart as I hear footsteps approach,”please let it be Félix”

The door swings open, and the man who had kidnapped me, walks in with the biggest smile on his face,”I see you’re finally up, it took you long enough,” he keeps his eyes on me as he shuts the door.

He’s tall, with short dark hair, and a little bit of a round belly. He has some hair on his chin, not enough for a beard though. He’s wearing round glasses, and a blue shirt paired with dark blue jeans. I don’t know who he is, he’s not from Encanto.

He decides to keep the conversation going as I look him over,”I’ve been checking on you every few hours. You were out like a light.”

I watch as he pulls something out of his pocket, he sets down a small notepad and pen on the counter,”for Sunday treat”

I finally break my silence,”Sunday treat?”

He nods,”you have to earn things, you’re lucky I am letting you have all of this stuff now. You could’ve woken up in an empty room”

I scoff,”then where would you put the chain?”

“If you want to continue the luxury of moving around, I suggest you stop with the attitude”

I gulp trying my best to cover up the fact that i’m absolutely terrified on the inside

“That’s what I thought”

Show no fear, don’t let him get to you,”you know they’ll find me”

He shrugs,”then let them”

“My daughter hears everything within Encanto, she can hear us right now”

He’s amused,”Except that she can’t, we’re outside of Encanto”

No wonder my gift doesn’t work,”I-“ he interrupts me

“Don’t even try to threaten me, I did tests, I know your gift doesn’t work”

“Tests?”

“I enlisted the help from a few of your family members, making up a fake scenario, and every single time they couldn’t do what they were meant to do. I had to do my researched if I wanted my weather witch,” he smiles impressed with himself,”now here we are”

“You’re sick”

“Maybe, but at least I have you”

He takes a step forward and I take a step back

“Oh come on, don’t be like that”

“Get away from me”

“You know, one day you’ll come to like me”

“Like hell I would”

“Your lucky I’m not punishing you for that mouth of yours right now. You should learn to put a sock in it. You can threaten me all you want, but you’re only hurting yourself,” he points to the door,”see the keypad? Only I know the code to it,” he lowers his arm,”so, even if you managed to kill me, you’ll be going down with me”

Shit, he’s right.

Fuck, that means I have to put up with him until I either escaped or I’m saved.

He grins seeing my reaction,”Ah ha, see! Now you’re getting it,” he goes to touch me and I take another step back.

He’s starting to get mad,”come to me”

I stay put,” don’t touch me”

“I’ll give you one last chance,” he picks up the chain,”Come. To. Me.”

I stay where I am

“Suit yourself,” he yanks on the chain and I fall on my back, hard.

Shit that hurt, ”ahhhh,” I turn to my side and place my right hand on my lower back.

He turns me, so I’m back to laying on my back, and stands over me,”maybe I should teach you a lesson, maybe then you’ll listen, huh?”

I may have to put up with him, but ain’t no way I’m letting him have control over me, even if that means getting hurt myself. I spit in his face,”go to hell”

He grabs my wrists and holds it against my chest. He squats down, and put his knee where his hand was to continue holding me down. He then uses his hands to grab my shoulders, he forces me to sit up a little, before pushing me back down causing for my head to bang against the floor again.

I whimper in pain

“You fucking bitch,” he spits on my face and leaves.

I use my hand to wipe it off, thank goodness he’s gone. I don’t even bother trying to get up, it hurts too much.

“Dolores, if you can somehow hear me, please help me,” I take a moment to catch my breath,”please, I-“ there’s a skylight. The sky is clear, no clouds in sight. The one time I could really use my gift, and it doesn’t work. There should be a storm cloud, so Félix can pinpoint exactly where I am, but there isn’t, the sky is as clear as it can be. Shit.

I groan in pain when I hear the dreading sound of his footsteps approaching. I hear him as he punches in the code to open the door. When he enters, the door immediately closes behind him, and I can see that he has another set of chains in his hands.

I try to remind myself to stay strong, to be like Luisa.

I watch as he sets down the chains on the table. He then comes over to me and squats, he grabs my face so that he can make sure I’m facing him when he speaks,”I am your provider, which means I own you. You do as I say, when I say. You disrespect me, you get punished, it’s as simple as that. I’ll go as far as cutting off a limb, if that’s what it takes for you to listen. Don’t. Test. Me.”

Don’t push his buttons Pepa, don’t.

“Being a good girl gets you privileges, continue to disrespect me, and you lose them. That mouth of yours ain’t going to work in here. Now choose one, two, or three”

I look at him unsure

“Choose or we do all”

I gulp,”one”

“No Sunday treat this week, you need to make the food that you have last two weeks”

“Okay,” she says not even bothering to put up a fight

He slaps her,”yes…..?”

“Yes sir,” I whisper softly

“I can’t hear you”

“Yes sir”

He pats my head,”good girl”

“Now, how about you show daddy just exactly what you can do,” he slides his hand up my thigh.

My eyes grew wide in panic,”No no no no, please stop please. Look, I promise I won’t tell anyone, not even my husband, please just let me go”

“It takes you this long to beg? Gosh dang your pathetic”

“Yes I am which is exactly why I shouldn’t be here. I’ll keep my mouth shut, I’ll stay away from the forest, just please let me go. I have a family, I have kids! A child needs their mom”

“I didn’t grow up with a mom and I turned out perfectly fine,” he keeps his strong hold on me and forcefully kiss me on the lips.

I cry, at this point I don’t care if he knows that weak

He pulls away and moves by my feet to get better access

“Please”

He chuckles,”you know, I was smart, I made sure to remove your undergarments before I put you in here”

Next think I know, I’m kicking him in the place it hurts most, his balls.

He lets go of me and puts his hand on his crotch,”you bitch”

I panic, with my heart beating out of my chest, I didn’t mean to do that. Ignoring the pain, I sit up, and back up further until I hit the wall,”I- I’m sorry”

“You never learn, do you?” He gets up and get the second set of chains off of the table.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t mean to”

He scoffs,”sure you didn’t”

He starts to approach me

“Dolores,” I shout

“Scream all you want, she’s not going to hear you from here”

“Dolores!”

He kneels down and grabs my wrist

“Please, I won’t do it again”

He ignores me and proceeds to tie my wrist together. I’m not sure why, but he makes sure that there’s still part of the chain left over,”get up”

“Okay,” I say, it takes me a minute, but I do it.

He tugs on the chain as if it’s an actual leash

The tug causes me to move forward,”I’ll do whatever you say, I’ll be good, just please don’t do this”

He doesn’t listen

“Please don’t do this”

He throws me on the bed

I wince in pain,”ah”

He uses the leftover chain, that’s still connected to my wrists, and ties it multiple times to the headboard. He shakes the headboard to make sure I’m secure.

“I have a husband, please don’t do this”

He reaches in his pocket and takes out his pocket knife

As if my panicking couldn’t get any worst,”no no no no, please, come on I’ll do anything, I’ll be your perfect princess, just please don’t do this”

He brings the knife up the collar of my dress and begins to cut it,”sure you will”

“I will! I’ll do anything you ask! Just don’t do this! Please!” Begging gets me no where

“Mmhm,” he keeps cutting downwards

“I’ll do anything!”

I yelp when my breast are exposed

He throws the knife down on the ground causing me to flinch,”shut up! Shut the fuck up or I swear to god I’ll kill you and have your daughter as your replacement”

Looks like I’m shutting up

Since most of the dress was already cut, he was able to rip the rest of it all off.

I’ve never felt more worthless than I do now

He picks up the knife off of the floor and cuts a slit on the sleeves so that he can tear it off. Once done, he throws the knife back down along with the ruined dress.

I keep my legs together as tightly as I can

I watch as he takes off his clothes and underwear so that he was fully naked.

I try to focus on the ceiling as he gets on the bed.

His hands gaze my thighs

Strong like Luisa, I remind myself

He forcefully opens up my legs, one hand is on my knee, while the other is caressing my folds.

I yelp when he inserts his fingers inside

I close my eyes and try to focus on something else. You never have to go through this again, Félix is going to barge in here and save you.

I feel as if it’s getting harder to breathe

Against my wishes, a moan escapes from my lips

I can’t see his reaction as my eyes are still close

“You enjoying?” He asks, he sounds amused. “How about this?” He proceeds to do it harder

I bite my lip trying my best to keep it together

Finally he pulls his fingers out,”open your eyes, I want you to see this”

Reluctantly, I do so

I watch disgusted as he licks his fingers clean

He moves a bit and then inserts his hardening cock inside of me. The bed squeaks as he moves.

Until now, Félix was the only guy who has ever been inside of me like this. Félix was supposed to be my one and only, and I feel as if I cheated on him. He’ll never look at me the same, I don’t think I’ll ever look at myself the same. I’m ashamed of who I became.

I let out a sob when I felt him finish inside of me.

He pulls out, proud of himself,”that was amazing baby!”

He gets off of me and lays down next to me.

“Don’t cry,” he brings his right hand up, the same hand he used to finger me, to wipe away my tears,”it will be okay”

This just makes me cry harder

“Since it’s your first night, and you were good, I’ll leave you alone,” he gives me a kiss on the cheek before getting out of bed.

He never unties my wrists.

He gets dressed, and after picking up the knife, he goes to the door,”close your eyes.”

I do so

I hear as he punches in the code and leaves

As soon as I hear the door shut, I let out another sob.

I look at the skylight to see that instead of a blizzard, the sky is still clear, free of any clouds

———————————————————————

The rest of that day, and all night, was spent with me sobbing.

I didn’t earn a new dress till three months later

Félix never did barge through that door

Dolores never heard me

I don’t think Camilo even remembers me

Despite how much I try, I will never be as strong as Luisa

“Mamí,” Antonio shakes me again,”are you okay?”

I feel my face, turns out I’ve been crying

I try to tell him I’m fine, that he doesn’t need to worry, but instead I cried.

He wraps his arms around me and holds onto me as I cried.

Gosh, he’s such a great kid, and just to think, I almost didn’t have him.

Chapter Text

- Pepa POV-

“Super Antonio flies through the skies as he looks for any upcoming danger,” I say while running around room with Antonio on my back.

“The villains think that since he is so small that they’ll be able to take him down easily, but boy are the wrong!” Antonio shouts

“If anything him being small puts him at an advantage”

“Ah,” Antonio screams and pulls back, almost causing me to fall

“What’s wrong super Antonio?”

“I’ve been shot! My powers are getting weaker!”

I sigh, here we go again. I spin in a circle as fast as I can before “crashing” down on the bed.

Antonio burst out laughing

I smile at him out of breath, gosh I’m too old of this

“Again!” He shouts standing up on the bed

“We did it twice already!”

He puts his arms up in the air,” super Antonio needs to fly!”

“Tell you what, if you can spell super, we can do it again”

He lowers his arms so that he can think,”hmmmmm S….. sup sup,” he says as he sounds it out

Oh no

“U P….. er errrrrrrrrrrr”

Come on, forget the e

“E R!” He looks at me excited

Fuck, when did that boy get so smart? I turn around in defeat,”hop on”

He hops on my back and raises his fist up in the air,” super Antonio!”

We did that three more times before he finally called in quits

I make him dinner and we eat, today we had cereal without the milk.

Afterwards, I let Antonio be on his own while I clean up.

I’m in the middle of doing the dishes when I hear a thump. I turn around to see Antonio had made a small stack of his own, consisting of magazines and books. “What are you doing?”

“Research,” he says sitting down at the table as if what he said wasn’t that big of a deal.

“I- Alright,” I shrug it off and go back to doing my tasks. 

I hear him flip through the pages as I set down the dishes on the drying rack.

I then see that Antonio had left some of his school work on the counter. I sigh, as I went to throw it away something caught my eye. I take it out to find out its Dino without any limbs. Antonio loves this thing, why would he do something like this? He could have maybe gotten angry, but then again that doesn’t make any sense. He hates when I swat away flies, there is no way he’ll hurt any creature, real or stuffed. I toss it back in the trash, I’ll ask about it before bed.

I pick up a rag to wipe down the counter, when I’m hit when an unexpected question.

“Are horses real?”

This question caught me off guard, he hates talking about the real world. I go to the table to see what exactly he’s looking at, turns out its a sketch of two people horseback riding,”uh, yeah, they’re totally real! We use to ride them all the time in Encanto”

“Fish and lizards?”

I nod,”yep! All real”

Antonio points to an ad in a magazine,”real?”

It’s a girl swinging on a swing, with a bandaid on her knee,”for the most part, yeah. This photo is staged though”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, she basically plays dress up and posed. I guess, that really goes for any photo, but what makes this one different is that they are tying to get the person’s attention on the product. You see how her knee with the bandaid, is closer up to the camera?”

He nods

“Well, that’s on purpose. This ad is trying to get people to buy their bandaids”

“I wear a bandaid when I get a boo boo!”

I giggle at his cuteness,”exactly! So, you’ll be the perfect person to get their product!”

“Cool!”

I watch as he scans through the other books and magazines.

He points to a sketch of Dorthy, the tin man, and the lion linking arms,”just books”

I smile, placing my hand on his shoulder and giving him a gentle squeeze,”you’re getting it!”

“When man comes back, I’m going to kick him in the butt”

I pull up the other chair and sit down. I then move his chair a bit, so that way he’s facing me,”we can’t do that”

“Why not?”

“One time I tried kicking man in the butt! You know in that one book how they use rope to help with horses? One end will be tied to the horse while the other end was tied to a fence, so that way the horse doesn’t run away?”

He nods,”mmhm”


“Well, man used to do something like that with me. The very first time he took it off, I started planning an escape, a way to kick his butt. I got the heaviest thing in room, which just so happened to be the holding lid from the toilet. There use to be a lid there, the water wasn’t always visible. Anyways, with that in my hand, I hid behind the door, and waited for him to come. When he came in, I went to smash the lid on his head, but I messed up. He shoved the door closed and he grabbed me by the wrist,” I grab Antonio’s wrist in the process,”that’s why it’s iffy sometimes. It used to be a lot worst, but right after you were born, it healed all on its own. But because it was an old injury, it couldn’t heal completely.” I left out the part about how I used Julieta’s food to heal myself. Man didn’t want any complications after I gave birth, and he wanted my vagina to still be perfectly intact, as if I didn’t just give birth. Since Julieta made the food in Encanto, the magic somehow stayed, and I was able to heal without needing to leave room. That night, when I tried to fight back, I received one of the worst punishments in a lifetime. But to keep the story somewhat kid friendly, I decide to leave that part out.

He had put the chain back on right after the incident, and I had to wear it for another few years. I earned the privilege to have it off, when Antonio was two. He had tripped on it and hurt his head, so I begged man to take it off. After doing what I had to do to earn it, he took the chain off, and I hadn’t worn it ever since.

Antonio taps his finger on his chin as he tries to come up with another plan. His eyes lights up, so I’m assuming his mission was successful,”we should wait till man is asleep and kill him dead!”

“We could, but then what? We don’t know the code to the door! We’ll run out of food, the water will be cut off, we’ll die ourselves if we do that.”

“Abuela, tía, sister, and brother can come!”

I sigh,”Antonio, they don’t know where we are. Room isn’t on any map”

He pouts,”awwww”

“No, don’t give up. Antonio, I need you to listen to me, alright? Now, we got a chance! We’ve nearly missed it, but we have a chance! And you are going to help me! You’re going to help me by tricking man”

I can tell he’s unsure,”okay mamí”

I pick him and place kisses all over his face causing him to giggle

“Mamí!”

“We’re doing this! We’re actually doing this!”

I set him down and go get a pot out of the cupboard.

“What are we doing exactly?” he asks

I explain to him the plan as I fill the pot with water and put it on the stove top thingy. We don’t have an actual stove, but we have whatever this is. A portable stove, perhaps? It’s small, but it gets the job done. When the water starts to boil, I pour the water into another pot.

Antonio is watching me from his chair,”I don’t get it”

“I’m going to make your face so hot, that man will take you to the hospital, or to Julie. Then when you get there, you’re going to talk to the doctor or Julie, just not him, and say,”help! Police!”” I say as I rip a piece of paper off from the notepad and fold it up. I then write,”help” and give it to Antonio to stash away.

We have a small police station in Encanto, there’s only two cells as we rarely use it. I think there’s two or three police officers that works there. When a situation does arise that we need them, they’ll come and do their thing. Typically, it just to break up bar fights. If the fight is really bad, then the two people who fought, stay in a cell over night. There were only two cases that wasn’t based on a small crime. One raped a woman and the other was so pissed off and drunk, he ended up killing somebody. They just stayed in a cell until mama decided what to do with them. Both were kicked out, only allowing to bring one bag of their belongings with them.

“Well, maybe next year when I’m six”

“Tonight. It has to be tonight, Antonio. We’ll tell man that you’ve gotten a really bad heat rash from the water getting cut off. But because of the lack of nutrients, and you already being dehydrated, you’ve developed more symptoms and fallen ill”

“Tomorrow, please,” he begs

I shake my head no,”no, I’m your mamí so sometimes that means I have to pick for the both of us”

I set down the pot, with the hot water, on the floor near the nightstand as Antonio lays down. The water isn’t boiling anymore, but its just hot enough for the plan to work.

I get the rag from the counter and dump it in the pot. I then take the rag out and place it on Antonio’s forehead.

He winces in pain,”ow”

“Shhhhh, I know”

I take it off of him and do it again

“Mamí!” he starts to tear up

“I know baby, I know. It’s okay,” I kiss his arm,”it’s okay,” I take the rag off of him and put it back in the pot,”you’ve got to stay floppy, alright? Stay floppy, and you’re not going to move or say a word. You’re too weak, okay?”

He sniffles trying his best not to cry

I proceed to put three fingers in my mouth and try to force myself to gag. I manage to get a tiny bit of puke out and wipe it on the pillow, next to Antonio’s head.

He’s scared and grossed out at the same time,”ew, what are you doing?”

“I’m sorry, I just have to make you smell sick,” I do it again but this time wiping it on the same pillow, but on the other side of Antonio’s head.

Antonio starts to cry

It breaks my heart, but we have to do this,”that’s good! You’re doing so good! Now show me how you’re going to pull the note out of your pocket. Show me.”

He does so

I notice something odd and look at him confused before back at the strange object,”what’s this?” I take it from him to see it’s bad tooth. I smile and give it back to him,”you see? You’ve got a bit of me all of the time”

I take my watch out and check the time, it’s getting close,”okay, put it back in your pocket,” once again I take the rag out of the pot and place it on his forehead,”remember, you are strong, you are mighty! You’re super Antonio! You got this!”

“I’m scared”

“I know,” I check the time again,”stay right here, okay?” I stand up and pick up the pot. I then set it back on the stove thingy and take out the rag, disposing it in the trashcan. I then reach into the cupboard, I pull out a small box, and pour the last of the noodles into the pot. If man asks, I was making Antonio soup to try and help him feel better.

I then go back over to the bed where Antonio was still crying,”remember, you got this.” I check the time, any minuet now. I grab Antonio’s hand and hold it in order to keep him calm. This has to work, it just has too.

The sound of footsteps gets my attention. I quickly release Antonio’s hand and stand up so I’m out of the way.

Man punches in the code and enters

I try to ignore my pounding heart, be brave, be strong like Luisa,”there you are!” I shout

He’s pissed,”you know the drill! Not a peep till the door is shut,” he then turns to see a crying Antonio on the bed,”what the fuck is this?”

“Antonio is sick! It was so hot!”

He scoffs looking back at me,”Well, you brought that onto yourself.”

“It was hard to keep him cooled! Whatever I did, it was never enough! He developed heat rashes! The symptoms only kept getting worst!”

“Give him some of those pain killers”

“I tried! But he keeps puking them back up!”

He moves to get closer to Antonio

I stand in his way,”Don’t. Don’t!”

He shoves me out of the way, luckily I was able to catch myself before I fell.

Antonio cries even harder

Please god, please let this work

“Shhhhh,” man says caressing Antonio’s cheek

Antonio is absolutely terrified

“Stop! Stay still,” man commands as he moves his hand over to Antonio’s forehead to check for a fever. He pulls his hand back,” Jesus, he’s burning up.” He then moves away from him,”I’ll see if I can get him something stronger”

“But he’s five! He’s dehydrated-“

He starts moving towards the door

“He has a fever! He can go into convulsion any minuet!”

Man huffs annoyed,”will you shut up and let me think?”



“He needs healing, he needs Julieta!”

“Okay, all right, I get it! I’ll try to get him some stronger medicine tomorrow night!”

“No! He needs Julieta now! You need to take him tonight!”

“Turn around!” He yells

“Please,” I cry,”you need to help him!”

“Turn around or I won’t bring you shit!”


I face the opposite wall,”please, he needs help!”

“Stop acting hysterical,” he says as he punches in the code

“He can’t wait till tomorrow! He needs help now!”

I hear the door open

“Please, I’m beg-“ the door slams shut.

I turn around and go straight to the door. I pound on it,”shit!” I then try opening it, which is once again, pointless.

I go and turn off the portable stove thing

I hear Antonio sniffle

“Okay, okay” I go over to the bed and lay down next to him. I wrap my arms around him and cuddle him as he cries.

“Am I still going to go?” he asks

“No,” I sigh,”not this time.” I give him a tight squeeze,”not this time”

He sniffles

“It’s okay, it will be alright, I’m not giving up”

I continue to hold him as he cries himself to sleep. Once I make sure he’s out for good, I slowly pull away from him and get out of bed. I take a seat, on one of the chairs at the table, and begin to think.

Today was a fail, there’s no way I can make Antonio look even more sick for man to finally take him out. I don’t know what to do anymore, Antonio was supposed to get out, he was going to be safe. He would have finally had a normal life, and actually get to know his siblings in person rather than through stories. Stories that I don’t know if he even believes.

We’re never going to get out of here

I look up at skylight to try to clear my thoughts.

It’s a beautiful night out tonight, I always loved looking up at the stars. Tonight it reminds me of the story mama told us, about the night her and papa flee their village. Mama had us three wrapped up in her arms, as her and papa guide the other villagers. Unfortunately, the raiders caught up to them. Papa decided right there and then that he needed to sacrificed himself in order to save everyone. He died so that the others can escape…..

He died so that the others can escape

I lower my head as an idea pops into my head. Antonio needs to die for him to escape. He needs to fake his death, so that we can trick man to letting him out. This means, once Antonio is out of his reach, man will come after me.

I bring my hand over my mouth and begin to cry, I try to stay silent so I don’t wake Antonio up.

I’m about to lose my son

Tomorrow I’ll be long gone, but it will be worth it, he’ll be out, he’ll be free.

This is it, this is how it ends

Careful not to wake my son up, I whisper softly to myself,”take care of him Félix”

Chapter Text

By the time I wake up, Mamí had already set breakfast down on the table.

“Come on, get up, come eat,” she says in a bit of a stern but quiet voice, it scares me a little

“Okay mamí,” I get out of bed and sit at the table. I look down at the round surface confused, there’s only one plate with one piece of toast, there’s supposed to be two,”no more bread?”

“We have one more piece, that will be your dinner tonight”

“Oh….” Mamí gets grumpy when she doesn’t eat, I hate it. I don’t know why she’s not eating now.

“While you eat, I’m going to tell you a story okay?”

I love hearing mamí’s stories, so this should be fun, “Okay mamí,” I smile and take a bite of my toast.

“Remember how I told you about the game of hide n’ seek?”

I nod, I never played that game before but it sounds fun,” the one with Julie, Pamala, and Barnard?”

She nods,”yeah and how Pamala lost but it was totally worth it because she was able to scare Julie? She was able to scare Julie, because she was being very still and quiet. She hid inside of a cupboard below the sink, she waited and waited until she heard footsteps. She made sure to not make a peep, so Julie wouldn’t hear her. Then, right when she was sure Julie was right beside her, Pamela took her arm out of the cupboard and grab Julie’s ankle, scaring her!”

Usually, I giggle at this part, but something about the tone of mamí’s voice scares me to do so.

“We’re going to do something like that today with man, except, you’re not going to scare him. Instead of a cupboard, you’re going to hide inside rug! You’re going to be very still and quiet as he picks you up and take you out of here. He’s going to have to get his horse carriage ready, so he’ll set you down. Then, when he comes back to get you, you’re already going to be gone! You know, you did a really good job yesterday, you really tricked man into thinking you were sick! We’re going to take it one step further, alright? We’re going to trick him even more! But instead of pretending that you’re sick, you are going to be playing d- dead,” Mamí’s voice cracks saying the last part, I think she’s sad.

I’m sad too, I want to live,”I don’t want to be dead”

“You’re just pretending to be dead! We’re going to roll you up in the rug where you’ll be very stiff, as stiff as a board. Or better yet, the Tin Man when he doesn’t get oil! Then, man will come in here, but because you’re in the rug, he won’t see that you’re alive inside! He’s going to pick you up and carry you outside. He’ll need to get his horse carriage ready, so he’ll set you down. Wait till he’s busy, where there’s no sound from him, and then it will be time to count-“

At this point, because I finished eating, I have nothing left on my plate,”How do I know when the sound isn’t coming from him?”

“We’ll practice! When you’re sure he’s gone, that’s when you’ll count. It will be like when we brush our teeth and trying to get away from the cavity monster, you’ll count to five a total of five times. Then, you’ll roll out of the rug, which we will also practice, and run. Remember, when you do this, you can’t make a sound, you have to be quiet, like a mouse. It’s going to be hard, but it’s going to be okay, do you know why?”

I shake my head no,”Uh hu”

“Because I’ll be right there inside your head the whole time! I’ll be talking to you the enter time!”

“No, too risky”

“That’s why we’re going to practice! You’ll be ready by the time he comes”

“I don’t know about this….”

“Antonio, I wouldn’t be doing this is I didn’t believe it was the best option, but it is. I’m sorry, but you have to do this. Rolling out will be the hardest part, so we'll save that for last. We'll practice everything numerous times, so that way, when man comes, you'll be ready. We’ll need to use the most amount of time possible, we’ll get change and that’s it! We’re not brushing our teeth, doing school, or playing games today”

I gulp scared,”okay mamí”

She smiles standing up from her seat, she then goes over and opens the wardrobe,”It’s going to be hot, you’ll be in light layers.”

She tosses me a pair of blue shorts and a white t-shirt

“You don’t have any shoes, but that’s okay, socks we’ll still do the trick!”

“What’s so important about shoes anyways?”

She just flashes me a smile and takes out a pair of socks

“What are you going to wear?”


“Oh, um,” she takes out a white dress and looks at me,”good?”

I nod smiling

Together, we get changed into our outfits. I put everything on, except for the socks, per mamí’s orders.

“Okay,” mamí begins,” you’re going to hear footsteps, it’s going to be softer than what your use to. You have to really listen! It might be really quiet, to the point where if you don’t listen for it, then you’ll miss it!”

“How would I listen for it?”

“It will sound something like this,” Mamí lightly taps her foot on the ground, she’s wearing socks so that makes it even more quiet,”do you hear that?”

I nod,”barley”

“That’s great! So, when you’re certain you don’t hear footsteps, then you start counting. Can you count for me?”

“One-“ she cuts me off

“Antonio, you won’t be able to say it out loud, it needs to be in your head”

“Oh,” counting is easy when you’re saying it out loud, it’s much harder in my head

“Practice for me, count to five, silently”

One…. Two…. Three….. Four…. Five

I just have to do that five times, I got this! After all, i’m super Antonio!

“Good baby, you’re going such a good job!” Mamí is talking more fast that usual, that must mean she’s scared,”now, lay down on the floor”

“You said we didn’t have to do rug now!”

“We aren’t, not yet”

I sigh and lay down on the floor, in the middle of room

“Close your eyes”

I do so

“Good, now I’m going to be doing steps in place near a wall, your job is to point at which wall I’m at, okay?”

“Okay mamí”

She does the light footsteps again, so it’s harder to know where she is. I point to the wall I think she’s at.

“Good, baby, good! Now again!”

We do this for what feels like a hundred times before she finally says its time for a break.

She gives me half an apple for my snack, she doesn’t take the other half for her self though, she just puts it back in the fridge.

“I’m still going to talk, but you can keep eating okay?”

I nod taking a sip of water

“Another indicator that he might be near is the sound of crushing leaves!”

“What does sound like?”

She gets a magazine, from the stack, and rips the cover off,”this isn’t totally accurate, but it will sound something like this,” she then crumbles it into a ball,”do you got it?”

“I think so”

“You’re doing such a good job at listening, I am so proud of you! Your memory is going to be have to be sharp today! The noise we practice you pointing out, you’re going to run in the opposite direction of that. You’re going to have to pay really close attention to that, okay?”

“Okay mamí”

After snack time, mamí moves the table and chairs close to the wall, so that we can have more room with the rug.

“For now, we’re not going to practice rolling out, we’re just going to practice sound while inside okay?”

I nod nervous

She gives me a kiss on the cheek,”you got this! Now, lay down”

I do

She then rolls me up, it’s like how she tucks me in super tight after I have a nightmare.

Being inside the rug, it’s pretty dark, not much light comes in

“This side is one,” mamí yells. She then moves to the other side,”this is two. When you think you got it, you’re going to yell out which side you’re going to run to once out, so one or two. We’re not actually running right now, this is just practice”

She shuffles around the room a bit, then begins doing the light footsteps again. This is tough, it was much easier to tell where she was when I was out. Let’s see, the sound is coming from….”one!”

“Yes, that’s where I am but that’s not where you’ll be running. In this case, since I’m here at one, you’ll run to two. Again”

She shuffles around and then does the light footsteps again

You got this! Do this for mamí! I listen very carefully, it sounds like she’s at one which means I’ll run to, “two!”

“Yes, good Antonio!”

We practice a few more times before mamí rolls me out. Afterwards, she gives me a big hug,”I love you”

“Love you too!”

She smiles,”ready for track?”

I smile excited, I love track,”yeah!”

She chooses a wall and I have to run to it. She keeps switching it up on me! But that’s on purpose, it’s so that I can keep running.

I stop to catch my breath

“We’re going to do something different okay?”


I nod,”okay mamí”

She puts the chairs back in the middle of the room,”I want you to run in a snake pattern!” She then shows me exactly how I’ll do that.

Mamí does this exercise with me, we do a few laps like this.

Once we’re done, mamí makes me a piece of toast.

After I finish, I put on my socks, and mamí declares it’s rug time

I lay down and she rolls me up again

“Okay, he’s going to pick you up like this,” she gently picks me up,”remember you have to be silent and stiff! Then, when you get outside, he’ll set you down like this,” she then puts me down.

We go over this a few times before moving on

“With this, all you’re doing is wiggling and rolling. You know how sometimes we roll around room? It will be something like that! Okay, now, go! Roll, Antonio, roll!”

I try my best, it’s not as easy as it looks.

I get a little ways done when mamí unrolls me

Mamí lays down next to me and demonstrates (without being rolled up) exactly how I should do it. She then rolls me up again so that we can practice.

I get a little further this time, but it’s still not enough

“Come on Antonio! I know you can do it! Roll!”

“I can’t!” I scream

“Yes you can! Now just roll!”

“Mamí, I can’t!”

“Antonio, I’m sorry, but you have to do this. I won’t be there with you, you’ll have to do this all by yourself!”

I manage to roll until I hit the bed,”ow!”

Mamí pulls the rug towards her and finishes unrolling me, “We’ll shorten the rug, it should be easier that way.”

“No more!”

“Antonio, I know this is scary, but you have to do it”

She makes me get out of her way so that way she can fold up the rug a bit. We then practice unrolling a few more times.

“Come on Antonio! Wiggle wiggle! Roll roll! Get out!”

I finally manage to do it all on my own,”I hate you!” I scream

Mamí smiles kneeling down, she then picks me up and hugs me,”you did it!”

I start crying

She rubs circles on my back as I cry, this is all just too much, I need this to be over with!

After I settle down, mamí prepares the rug for me, she doesn’t roll me up though.

“Let’s go over it again,” she says

I sigh,” sound, silence, count, roll, run”

“Good, and when you run-“

“Run the opposite way from the sound,” I say finishing her sentence

“Remember, you might hear other sounds too like chirping and buzzing, but only focus on the footsteps and the crushing of leaves”

I nod,”okay mamí”

“You’re going to shout, but only when you see someone! When you get to them, say,”My mamí is Pepa Madrigal and she needs help””

“Who’s someone?”

“Anybody! It’s the first person that you see, that isn’t him!”

“An actual real life person?”

She nods,”mmhm”

I fidget with my fingers nervous,”wh- what if man unwraps me?”


She shakes her head no,”he won’t! You got bad tooth?”

I nod pointing to my mouth,”he’s in here so that way I won’t lose him!”

Mamí starts laughing,”you’re amazing! You’re going to love it!”

“What?” I asks confused

“The world! Casita with the picnic table and abuela, tia, sister, brother, and many more family members that you’ll grow to love!”

“And you?”

“Uh,” she bites her bottom lip, she’s on the verge of tears. She wipes a tear away as it falls,”yeah, and me”

She lays down and hugs me

I don’t hug back as I stay in the position i’m supposed to be in

The sound of footsteps is heard from outside of room

My heart pounds as mamí quickly rolls me back up, while man pushes in the code

I can’t see anymore, just hear

The door opens,”I got medicine!” The deep voice says as the door shuts

Mamí is crying

“What are you doing?”

“He got worst in the night, he didn’t wake up”

“Oh geez,” he shifts a little,” well, I guess it must have been pretty serious then”

“You killed my baby!” mamí shouts

“Okay, take it easy!” The footsteps get closer,”let me take a look”

SLAP

I don’t know who slapped who though

“Don’t touch him!” Mamí shouts

“Okay”

Mamí sniffles

“Are you sure?”

“Am I sure?!

“Okay, well…. You know he can’t stay here”

“No… where are you going to take him?”

“I don’t know! Let me think!” Man shouts, that means he’s mad

“Somewhere nice, it can’t be here, I’ll feel him”

“Okay”

“Somewhere with water perhaps”

“Right, uh water”

I hear some movement close to me, mamí must have stood up, "I want you to swear to me, you won’t lay your filthy eyes on him!”

Man doesn’t say anything

“Swear to me you won’t look at him!” Mamí yells

“I swear!” He moves a chair, probably so he can sit down,”okay, well, it’s about an hour till dark”

“No!” Mamí shouts,”Now! It has to be now! I can’t bare the lost of my son!”

“Okay!”

The footsteps sounds are getting closer

He then picks me up like mamí did

“Gentle! Please!” Mamí begs

“I got it! I got him!”

He moves around, probably to face the door.

Because my head is near the end of the rug, I’m able to look at mamí as she stares back at me.

“Turn around, face the wall!” Man shouts

Mamí does as told

I hear the punching of the code then the door opens. He then started walking, it doesn’t take long for him to set me down.

I hear as he slams the door shut

My heart is ponding as if it’s trying to escape my chest!

Man picks me up and begins walking

I look out, and its as if skylight has come to life! The sky is blue everywhere rather than just up! I see a tree in the distance, they are real! I think I hear birds chirping, it’s not at all how mamí described it!

Man sets me down

There’s still no silence, so I can’t begin counting yet.

I hear him moving around one, which means I’ll be running towards two.

I hear mamí’s voice in my head,”listen for the crushing of leaves and soft footsteps!”

Man is still too near for me to start counting

Man starts talking to himself,”its going to take all night to get there, and all of next day to get back, which means I need to pack.”

I hear him as he walks away

I listen quietly for any soft footsteps or the sound of crushing of leaves, just like mamí said. I wait till I’m absolutely sure it’s silent before I start counting.

One…. Two…. Three…. Four…. Five

One…. Two…. Three…. Four…. Five

One…. Two…. Three…. Four…. Five

One…. Two…. Three…. Four…. Five

One…. Two…. Three…. Four…. Five

“Roll, Antonio, Roll!” I hear mamí’s voice in my head say

It took a lot of me rolling and wiggling, but I managed to get out!

I stare up at the bright sky when I do, whoa, who knew it was so big! The air out here is different from the air in room. Everything is so big and bright! It’s amazing! It’s better than anything mamí described!

I’m getting distracted, I need to stop

Sound, check

Silent, check

Count, check

Roll, check

I stand up, now all I need to do is-

“Hey!” Man shouts from the distance,”son of a bitch!”

RUN

I run as if my life depends on it, then again, it does. I do what mamí taught me, I run straight, then like a snake, so it’s harder for man to catch me as he doesn’t know my next move.

I start to run like a snake again, when I tripped! I get up as fast as I can and continue running.

Man gets closer towards me, but it's okay, I’m still out of his reach

At this point I’m panting, but I can’t stop now, I need to find someone!

“Get back here you little brat!” Man shouts

I’m about to give up, when I spot something moving! I see blue and then legs! There's someone out there!

“Help,” I yell,”help me!”

The person’s legs stops moving

“Help!” I yell

“Shut up!” Man shouts from behind me, he’s getting closer

I then run into the big opening! I'm now able to see the whole person, rather than just their legs

“Help!” I yell

They start running towards me

“Shit!” Man says

Man turns around and runs in the opposite direction

“Hey!” The stranger yells, she must have spotted him.

He got away, there’s no way she can catch up to him now

The girl kneels down to look me in the eyes,”are you okay?”

I start crying

She goes to wrap her arm around me

I fall to the ground and curl into a ball, so that way, she doesn't touch me.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now, he can’t come to you anymore. Can you tell me your name?” Her voice is soft, it’s gentle, I like it.

I don’t say anything

“That’s okay, you don’t need to tell me your name! Just so you know, I’m Mirabel”

Why does her name sound so familiar?

Chapter Text

“You don’t have to tell me your name, but can you at least tell me why you were running?”

I don’t say anything, mamí doesn’t like it when I talk about man, I don’t think she will like it either. I reach into my pocket to pull out the note and panic when I realize it’s not there.

“What’s wrong? What do you need?”

“Mamí,” I whisper

“Did that man take you away from your mamí?”

I nod

“Okay, uh…..”

I don’t know what she’s doing because she’s behind me. I wish mamí was here instead of her.

I rub my hand along the grass, it’s rough and scratchy, not at all of what I imagined. I smile when I notice there’s a leaf right beside me. Naturally, I pick it up, it looks like the one on skylight, except this one has more spikes. If it was bigger, it could be mistaken for a dinosaur!

“Hey, um,” the girl taps my shoulder,” I want to help find your mamí, but in order to do that, I need you to come with me okay?”

I nod dropping the leaf, I then stand up and look at her.

She looks down at my feet,”oh. That’s okay, we can get you a new pair”

I look at her confused

“Of shoes,” she clarifies

I just shrug

“Ready?”

I nod

I walk beside her as she leads me to who knows where. This place is huge! I finally get to see the world! It’s better than anything I’ve ever read in books.

“Has anyone seen my hat?” A person yells from the distance

I quickly grab Mirabel’s hand scared

“Hey, it’s okay!” She smiles,”you’re safe”

As we walk, the noise gets louder and louder! There’s people all over the place, all doing different things. A guy with a wheelbarrow, filled with bricks, passed us. I know it’s bricks because it looks like the ones in The Three Little Pigs.

Mirabel then walks with me up to a table where a woman is passing out food and drinks.

“Thanks,” the guy smiles, he was the last person in line

“Thanks for helping out,” the strange woman replied

The guy walks away

I let go of Mirabel’s hand and quickly hide behind when she begins talking,”mama”

“Hmmm?”

“We have a problem”

“What’s wrong?”

Mirabel turns her head and looks down on me, she nudges me to move forward, but I refused.

“Mirabel?” The woman sounds confused

“Hold on,” she’s still looking at me,”please?”

I wave my hand for her to kneel down to my height. As soon as she does, I whisper in her ear,”can I still hold your hand?”

She smiles,”of course you can”

She offers me her hand and I take it

She then stands back up to face the older woman

”Mirabel, who’s this?”

“He won’t tell me his name”

“Where did you find him?”

“I was taking a walk when he came out of the forest and ran into me. A guy was chasing him, but he got away before I could get to him. All he’s really said was that he wanted his mamí”

The older woman nods and kneels down so that she can get to my height

I look at the ground

“I’m Julieta, can you tell me your name?”

Odd, another name that sounds familiar. I can’t remember how I know it though, maybe it’s from a book.

I look up at Mirabel

“It’s okay, she just wants to help”

I look down at the ground and whisper,” Antonio”

“Well nice to meet you Antonio,” the older woman says,”can you tell me how old you are?”

I continue to whisper,”five”

“Wow, that’s so old! Do you want to come with me and look around the construction site for your mamí?”

I shake my head no,”she’s not here”

“Is she at home?”

I don’t respond, I don’t know if room is home. Mamí says it’s not, but i’ve only ever lived there, no where else. So, is room home?

“Okay, that’s okay! Can you tell me where you live?”

Another question that I don’t know the answer to

“Mirabel, can you go update your father and tell him we’re going on a walk?”

“Uhhh,” she sounds unsure

“Is that okay Antonio?” Julieta asks me

I nod and let go of her hand

Mirabel then walks away, leaving me and Julieta alone

“Can you tell me more about your mamí, Antonio?”

That’s when I remember bad tooth, I reach my hand inside my mouth and pull it out.

“What’s that?”

“A piece of mamí”

“Can I see?”

I shake my head no and hold bad tooth closer to me

“That’s okay! Now, Antonio, does your mamí have another name?”

I think long and hard about this, I remember mamí telling me a few times, but I can’t remember exactly what she said, “I forgot”

“Do you have any idea of where your mamí could be?”

“Room”

“What room, Antonio? Where’s this room?”

I sigh not responding, I want Mirabel to come back

It’s as if she read my thoughts, cause next thing I know, I see her coming up to us

I grab Mirabel’s hand as she starts talking,” Papí said he’ll be on the look out, but mama, no one has mentioned anything about a missing child. No one’s looking for him”

“Well, he has to be somebody’s kid!” Julieta looks back at me

Right then, I scrunch up my nose because it’s itchy.

Julieta is looking at me strange, I don’t think she liked that.

“You okay mama?”

“Huh?”


“You okay?”

“Yeah, uh yeah just thinking”

“Right… so, um, I don’t think he’s from here”


“You’re probably right, the village is small, so as soon as he went missing there would have been a whole search party out”

“He could be from one of the neighboring villages”

She nods,”possibly. That’s a long trip though”

“It will take the whole night to get there, and all of next day to get back,” I whisper

They both look at me surprised

Julieta nods,”exactly,” she then sits down, probably so that she can be more comfortable, “Antonio, are you from a nearby village?”

I shrug

“The man that you were with, were you on a long journey with him?”


I shake my head no

“So, then, how did you know how long it would take to get to the nearby village?”

“Man talks to himself”

“What exactly did he talk about?”

“That and how he needs to pack because of it”

“Does man live in a house in the forest?”


I shrug

“Okay…. You said mamí was in room, right?”

I nod

“What’s outside of room?”

“World! Filled with lots of things!”

“Mama, is he- is he alright?” Mirabel asks

Julieta doesn’t answer her question, she just continues focus on me,”okay…. When you step out the door-“

I shake my head no

“No? You don’t?”

I shake my head no again

She glances up a Mirabel then back at me,” uh huh”

“We don’t know how to open the door”

“What do you mean?”


“You need to know the secret code”

“Who knows this secret code?”

“Man”

“So, you’ve been in this room for awhile, huh?”


I nod

“Is there daylight in your room?”

I nod again

“Great, how many windows?”

“Zero”

“Then how does the sun come in?”

“Through skylight”

“Okay, good, you’re doing good! So, you live in a house with a skylight?”

I shake my head no,”not a house”


“Isn’t room in a house?”

“It’s a-“ I try to think as I forgot the word

“Yeah?”

Oh, I remember now,”Room’s a shed”

Julieta takes a deep breath,”Mirabel, go get your abuela”

Mirabel lets go of my hand and goes to do as told

“Antonio, what made you run into Mirabel?”


“Mamí said to in my head”

“She made you run into my daughter?”



I shake my head no,”anybody, just not him”

“I see,” she nods,” Antonio, do you know how to get back to room?”

I shrug

“Okay, that’s okay”

“Not from here at least”

“If we take you back to where Mirabel found you, do you think you’ll be able to lead us to room?”

I nod,”I think so”

Just then Mirabel comes back with her abuela

“Julieta, what’s going on?” The old woman asks

“Antonio, I’m going to step away for a second, okay?”

I nod

Mirabel stays with me as Julieta and the old woman walks away. They stay close by and speak in hush whispers.

“Julieta,” a guy yells

I look behind me to see a guy in a nice suit with two other man wearing the same funny outfit

“I brought some officers, I thought they could help,” the guy says

The old woman walks over to the small group and Julieta comes back to me

Julieta smiles, “Antonio, you are going to go with these nice men and show them room, okay?”

I gulp nervous,”I don’t know where to go”

“Mirabel is going to show y’all to the spot where she ran into you. Then, you’re going to bring the officers the rest of the way”

“No”

“I know this is scary, but this is the only way we can get your mamí back”

“I’ll even come with you,” Mirabel adds

Julieta shakes her head no,”no”

“Mama!”

“It’s too dangerous, let the officers do their job”

“He’s terrified of the officers! In order to lead the way, he needs to feel safe”

“Mirabel….”

“If we see this man, I’ll make sure to take Antonio, and hide from him”

“What if he finds you?”

“Then we’ll run, it’s not like he can catch up to us, the officers will be there”

“Fine, then i’ll go with him”

“Mama, and don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t know how hard the walk is. It might not be something you can handle”

“I’m not that old”

“I’m not calling you old, but mama, be realistic here”

She sighs, “you promise you’ll let the officers do their job and won’t get him”

“Pinky swear”

Julieta reminds me of mamí as she bites her bottom lip unsure,”okay”

“Thank you mama,” Mirabel hugs Julieta as the small group approaches us.

“Mirabel, will be coming with them,” Julieta informs them, pulling away from the hug

“What? No!” The guy in the nice suit exclaims

“We don’t have a choice! It’s getting dark soon, they need to leave now”


“I’ll be okay papa,” Mirabel then hugs the worried guy

“Don’t get in the officers way, stay safe,” the old woman states

“Yes abuela,” Mirabel says while pulling away from her papa.

Mirabel says one last goodbye and we’re off on our adventure

Mirabel holds my hand as the officers walk behind us

“Your family is nice,” I say softly as we walk, still not speaking in my normal voice

“That wasn’t even all of them!” She giggles

“Does your mama have other children?”

“Odd way to put it, but yeah. I have two sisters, Isabela and Luisa! I’m the youngest”

“Me too”

“You have siblings?” She sounds surprised

I nod,” I haven’t met them though…. They aren’t in room. But mamí talks about them all of the time! It makes her sad, but she says its important for me to know about them”

“What are their names?”

“Dolores and Camilo”

She stops in her tracks,”ar- are you sure?”

I nod

“Is everything alright?” One of the officers asks

“Yeah, sorry,” Mirabel responds back

We keep walking

When we get to the spot, I begin to lead the way

“Can you tell me more about your mamí?” Mirabel asks

“Why?”

“Just curious”

I think I can trust her, but then again, what if she becomes the next man? I can’t risks mamí getting hurt again.

“Hey, are you okay?”


I shake my head no,” I miss mamí”

“Well, it’s a good thing we’re going to her then!”

“What if man hurt her?”

“Then, we’ll take care of her and nurse her back to health”

“I guess so”

The rest of the walk was met with silence

We stop when we see a house ahead

“Is that it?” One of the officers asks

I shrug,”it looks familiar”

“Stay here”

The officers then run off towards the house

Let’s see, man set me down closer to the house but I could still see the shed in the distance. If I run to the house then I can see the shed which means I’ll be closer to finding,”mamí!”I yell running off

“Antonio!” Mirabel calls out and starts chasing me

I run like a snake to throw her off

“Antonio!”

I then run straight

I’m about out of breath by the time I reach the house

“Antonio,” Mirabel is now right beside me panting

“She’s here! I know it!”

“I believe you, but it’s too dangerous for us to be here. The officers will get her, okay?”

I look around trying to find the shed. I then realize this isn’t right, this part of the house looks nothing like I saw when I first got out. There’s two sides to everything, which means, it’s at the other side of the house. I bolt from Mirabel, so that I can get closer to mamí

“Antonio!” She yells following close behind

When I reach the other side of the house I see that the officers and man is right by the shed. Since room is in shed, mamí is on the other side. I run off again.

“How did you get so fast?” Mirabel asks out of breath

It takes me a bit of running to finally reach the shed. The officers doesn’t acknowledge me, so I don’t think they know I’m here.

“What’s the code?” One of the officers yells

Man has these weird things on his wrist,” look, gentleman, I can assure you there’s nothing in there. You have no right to search my property”

“Code”

“Antonio,” Mirabel says as she caught up to me,”let’s get out of here”

The officer by the door looks at us,”what the hell are you two doing? Do you know how dangerous this is?”


“I’m sorry officer, I promise we’ll get out of your way”

“No!” I shout,”mamí is in there! I need mamí!”

"Just let the kid be," the officer holding onto man's arm says

“Come on, give us the code,” the officer by the door commands,”don’t make me get Alma”

Man sighs,”I want a plea deal, I want to assure that I am safe from any wrongful punishment”

“We ain’t talking about shit until you give us the code”

“Give me your word that we’ll at least talk”

“You have my word”

“1419”

The officer punches in the code, and sure enough, it works!

Mamí has her knees pulled up to her chest, with her head down, she’s crying,”I’m sorry”

“Mamí!” I shout out excited

She looks up at me with wide eyes,”Antonio?”

I run up to her and tackle her into a hug

She gives me a tight squeeze,”thank goodness you’re okay,” she kisses my cheek,”I’m so proud of you! You did it super Antonio!”

She picks me up as she stands

I lay my head down on her shoulder

The officer clears his throat,”uh, we should get going, y’all are going to be ahead, while my partner and I will walk behind y’all with Elonzo”

“Okay, thank you officer,” mamí says

He nods and leaves the room

Mirabel steps into view

“Mirabel,” Mamí sounds surprised,”uh- wow you look- wow”

“Should we get going?”

“Right,” with me on her hip, mamí begins waking, but she stops at the door

“Mamí?” I look at her confused

“It’s okay,” Mirabel says in a softer voice,”no one is going to get mad at you for leaving, you’re safe”

“Right, yeah, of course,” but mamí still doesn’t move

“Mama will be really excited to see you! The whole family will! Bruno just got back and-“ Mamí cuts her off

“What do you mean Bruno just got back? Where was he? Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine! He left on his uh…. own terms”

“Oh”

“I promise we’ll explain it all to you soon, but for now we should really just focus on heading back”

“Right….”

I lay my head back down on her shoulder,”mamí?”

“Hmmm?”


“Can we go to bed now?”

“Yeah, Mirabel is going to take us back to casita”

“No, in room”

She shakes her head no,”I’m sorry Antonio,” we then begin the journey back to the world.

I must have fallen asleep cause next thing I know, we’re back in world.

“Thank you officers,” Mamí says

The officers walk away, with man, to who knows where

“Casita isn’t too far from here, right?” Mamí asks

“This is actually our stop,” Mirabel sounds nervous

“We’re at the church”

“Like I said, I promise we’ll explain it all soon,” Mirabel then knocks on the door

Julieta answers and immediately hugs her,”Mirabel, thank goodness you’re okay! Did Antonio and his mother make it back?”

“About that….” Mirabel pulls away and step out of the way. I’m guessing so that Julieta can see me and mamí.

Julieta gasps with wide eyes,”Pepa?”

“Hi…. I-“ before mamí can say anything else, Julieta tackles her into a hug. Since mamí is still holding me, she ends up squeezing me too .

“I’m never letting you out of my sight again!”

Mamí laughs pulling away,”I appreciate it”

“The family is going to be so thrilled! We need to celebrate!”

“Can we sleep first?”

“Right, of course, you need rest! You can have my cot! Agustín and I share it, but I’m sure he won’t mind sleeping somewhere else! The madrigal triplets are back!” She squeals and hugs mamí again

“Julieta, you’re suffocating my son”

“My bad,” she pulls away,” oh Pepa, I just- I’m- how can I say this?”

“I get it, I feel the same way. I never thought this day will come”

“Shall we go inside?”

“Uh, yeah, y’all go ahead. I’ll be there in a second”

She nods,”okay”

Both her and Mirabel goes inside

Mamí sets me down,”I’m going to be hugging a lot of family members and afterwards I promise we can go to bed”

“I don’t want to”

“You don’t have to! If you want you can lay down or stay with me”

“No hugging?”

“Not unless you want to”

“Okay….”

Mamí smiles

Together, hand in hand, we walk inside the church. We open up another set of doors, to an even bigger room!

Everyone stares at us

Mamí squeezes my hand

“Josefa!” The old woman from before says, although now she has tears rolling down her face. She quickly comes up to us and hugs mamí.

“Hi mama,” mamí lets go of my hand

“It’s a miracle! Don’t ever leave us again!”

“I promise,” mamí says pulling away.

That’s when I notice mamí is crying,” Antonio, this is your abuela”

The old woman smiles down at me,” I’m excited to get to know you”

Abeula steps out of the way and thats when Julieta and a man, that I’ve never seen before, hugs mamí

“Being the only child sucks,” Julieta states

“Agreed,” both the man and mamí says in unison

“We should have a sleepover!”

“Just like old times!” The strange man adds

“Guys….” mamí must have done something cause the two looks down at me

“Right…. You have a…. Right” Julieta says

“He looks just like you!” Strange man adds

“Antonio this is your tía Julieta and your tío Bruno”

“Nice to meet you,” they both say at the same time

They then walk away

I hide behind mamí a little as the next group walks up to her, this time it’s Mirabel and I’m guessing her sisters.

“Tía!” The girl in the dark blue dress shouts.

The four then hug

“We missed you!” The other girl says

“I’ve missed y’all too,” mamí replies

They then pull away

“Uh, sorry about not hugging you before,” Mirabel apologizes

“It’s fine, I get it, you probably don’t even remember me”

“I’ve heard lots about you though!”

Mamí tries to wipe her tears away, but more shows up,”Antonio, these are your primas Isabela, Luisa, and you already know Mirabel”

“I’m Isabela by the way,” the girl in the dark blue dress clarifies

Thank goodness she said that cause I wasn’t sure who was who

“That makes me Luisa,” says the stronger girl

“We’ll give the others a turn, but like abuela said, we can’t wait to get to know you,” Mirabel says and then her and her sisters move out of the way.

The guy in the nice suit is next in line

He gives mamí a quick hug, not as long as the others

“Pepa”

“Agustín”

“It’s good to have you back”

“It’s good to be back”

“I hope we can resume book club”


“I’ll like that”

“Good, even though it’s my turn, I’ll let you choose the next book”

Mamí giggles,”Antonio this is your tío Agustín”

“Hi Antonio! You know, if you want, you can join book club too! We’re always looking for new members”

Mamí chuckles but doesn’t say anything

“Okay well,” Agustín continues,” if you need anything, I’m here”

He then walks over to Julieta and wraps his arms around her waist.

There’s three people left, but they aren’t in line, instead they’re in the corner.

I follow mamí as she walks up to them

“Hi….” Her voice is quiet, she’s nervous

The girl tackles her into a hug and starts crying

“I missed you and your brother so much! It was torture!”

“Please don’t ever leave us again”

“I won’t! Y’all are never getting out of my sight! I’ll tie myself to you if I have to!”

The girl giggles pulling away,”I love you”

“I love you too!”

Mamí then looks at the boy,”I’m not sure if you remember me, it’s been so long, so I understand if you don’t, but-“

Before she can even finish her sentence, the boy tackles her into a hug. She almost falls!

“Y’all have gotten so big! You both matured beautifully into a young lady and young man. And I am so sorry I missed it!”

“I only have one memory of you,” the boy states,” it was you singing to me when I was sick. For the longest time, I was afraid it will be my only memory of you. I’m so glad that I was wrong”

Mamí cries even harder as she tightens her squeeze on him

He then pulls away

“Antonio, this is Dolores and Camilo, your sister and brother”

I look at them amazed,”they are real”

Mamí lightly chuckles and hugs them both again

“I love you so so so so much! Y’all are my world!” Mamí says

I frown a little, I don’t like mamí giving them this much attention

Mamí finally pulls away from them, she flashes them a soft smile before looking at the last man.

He has several tears rolling down her cheek

“Antonio, this is Félix”

Unlike the others, mamí doesn’t hug him

Félix starts talking,”Pepa….”

“Antonio, come on, lets go to bed”

I look at her confused,”but-“

“Antonio!”

I just nod and follow her

“Julieta where’s your cot?”


“The one closet to the stage,” she answers

Mamí nods and we both spot it

Mamí grabs a hold of it and I follow her as she pulls it out into the hallway

“Lay down”

I do as told

She then lays down next to me

She wraps her arms around me,”go to sleep, I’m right here, okay?’

I nod

Some time passes and I’m still up. I hate to say this, but it’s hard to fall asleep to mamí’s cries. Just when I think she fell asleep, she cries again!

It takes awhile, but eventually I am able to fall asleep

World isn’t anything like room, I don’t know if I like it or not

Chapter Text

When I first woke up, I forgot where I was a second. Then, everything that happened yesterday flooded back into my mind! Dread takes over when I remember I have to deal with all of these new people mamí calls “family.”

I just want my family to be me and mamí, not all of those strangers. And yes, Dolores and Camilo are included in the list of strangers. Mamí has only ever talked about them, I never met them until yesterday, just like everyone else.

I turn my head to see that mamí is still asleep. Careful not to wake her up, I quietly sit up and get out of the cot. The big doors are next to the cot, so I’m practically already there! I open the doors to enter the big room, the room that’s filled with all of the strangers.

Quietly, I walk around to see that everyone is still asleep. I don’t know what time it is, but it must be pretty early if no one else is awake.

Everyone has their own cot, except for mamí and I, we have to share. I don’t mind though, I don’t want to sleep alone.

It’s funny, everyone seems to have a different position in which they sleep. Abuela lays perfectly still on her back, one hand on her stomach, the other to her side, she lightly snores, so it’s not loud enough to keep everyone else awake. Julieta sleeps on her side, she looks like she wants to cling to something, but can’t as there’s nothing for her to hold. Agustín lays on his back, one hand on his stomach, and the other behind his head. Mirabel also lays on her back, but she has both hands on her stomach rather than just the one. Luisa lays on her stomach, it looks like she’s laying on one arm, while the other one is just dangling off the cot, she also snores, just a tiny bit louder than abuela. Isabela is also laying on her stomach, except she has one leg up, closer to her stomach, and the other down. Dolores sleeps the same way, just opposite, and like Abeula and Luisa, she snores and kind of loud too. Camilo looks like he curled himself into a ball! Last, but not least, is Félix! He probably has the loudest snore out of everybody! He lays on his back with one hand on his stomach and the other one out. Not necessary dangling like Luisa, but not to his side either, it’s just out. It’s as if he’s wrapping his arm around somebody that’s not there.

He stirs in his sleep causing me to jump. Not again! I quickly turn around and run back to mamí, I can’t let her get hurt again! I hope he didn’t notice me, if he did, then I’ll stand up for mamí, just like how she does for me! After all, I woke him up, so I deserve the punishment.

Mamí wakes up smiling,”I was hoping to be up when you first woke up,” she yawns,”mmmmm good morning baby”

Focus on her, not him,”morning mamí”

She sits up, she then picks me up and sets me down on her lap.

She gives me a bunch of kisses making me giggle,”mamí!”

She giggles,”want to go see if anyone else is awake?”

I shake my head no,”uh huh”

“Okay…. Are you hungry?”

I nod

“How about we get you something to eat, hmmm?”

Just then, the big doors open, I quickly get off of mamí and use her as my shield. I should’ve known I couldn’t have protected mamí from him. I just hope her punishment won’t be like the last one. She still has the bruise from that!

Mamí turns her head to look at me, “Antonio!”

“How are you doing?” a woman asks, it sounds like Julieta. Good, so it’s not Félix. Although, I’m still too afraid to show my presence.

“Fine, I was about to get up to make some breakfast”

“Oh don’t worry about that, I can do it”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose”


“I was on my way to make breakfast anyways, I’m sure I can remember to add an extra plate on the table”

“Two”

“What?”

“Two extra plates”

“Right….. two, yeah, of course”

“At least let me help”

“Pepa, it’s fine, don’t worry about it! Plus, mama would kill me if I let you help. Just go back to sleep or ….. do something! Stay out of the kitchen!”

“I guess I’ll shower then”

“I can’t let you do that”

“Excuse me?”


“Mama said it will be best for you to clean up after the hospital”

“Hospital?!”


“She wants you to go after breakfast, we’ll all go with you, if you want, of course. She claims that you and Antonio needs a check up, to make sure everything is fine”

“Okay, fine, thanks”

Julieta hums in response and walks away

I look up at mamí,”are you okay?”

“Yeah”

Her voice cracks a little so I know she’s lying

“How about we go for a walk?” mamí smiles

I nod

I don’t really want to go, I just want to make mamí feel better, so that’s what we do

We walk together, hand and hand, as we explore the world, otherwise known as, Encanto.

This place is humungous! Possibly the biggest thing to ever exist! There’s rows and rows of never-ending houses! There’s also a market, filled with many things!

Quite a few people are out too! They all stare at mamí and me, as we walk, but doesn’t say anything, instead, they keep their distance. The act as if mamí and I are a glass, that even if they make a peep then we’ll shatter. Which is simply not true, I’m not made out of glass, I’m real.

Mamí grips on me gets harder, that means she’s scared

“Pepa!” a tall guy with a big round belly calls out,”welcome back! We’re so glad to have you home”

“Thank you,” her voice is soft, she’s not her usual loud self

“I heard about Alonzo, I am so sorry for what he did to you”

Without a word, mamí picks me up and quickly takes me away from those people. I’m confused by this, the guy seemed kind, so what was wrong? Then again, I thought Man was kind and he was anything but! Is everyone like Man?

“We’re going to go back to the church, okay? I want you to stay with your brother and sister while I go to the restroom, alright?”

“Okay mamí”

It doesn’t take us long to reach the church. As soon as we reach big room, mamí sets me down.

Ignoring everyone crowding her, mamí gets away, and goes to the restroom.

Everyone stares back at me

They act the same way the others treated us, like we’re made out of glass

Dolores and Camilo looks as if they want to come to me, but are too afraid to.

They all disperse, they resume to whatever they were doing before mamí and I arrive, that is except for Félix. Instead, Félix approaches me with a big smile plastered on his face.

“Hi,” he kneels down to my height

I don’t say anything though

“Was that you I heard this morning?”

I shake my head no, I hope he can’t detect my lies like mamí can

“Ah too bad, we could’ve played a game! Like, uh- well, what’s your favorite game?”


I don’t say anything, I want mamí to come back

“The silent game huh?” He pauses, I’m not sure why though,” nah I’m just playing. Mind if I sit?”

I shrug

I watch as he sits down in front of me

I sit down as well, I make sure to stay alert, just in case.

“You know, I use to know your mamí! Her and I were really close friends! I knew her since I was 10!”

He was twice my age when he met her, cool

“Ever since then we were best friends, attach to the hip!”

This makes me confused, why were they attach to the hip? Maybe it’s a…. Meta…. Metaphor! They’re clearly not, and never were, attach to the hip after all.

“So, did you enjoy your walk?”

I nod, I want to say that the world is beautiful, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

“It’s very pretty out this time a year”

“Breakfast,” Julieta calls out from the distance

Félix and I both stand up

He offers me his hand

I decline by shaking my head no

He shrugs and makes a motion for me to follow him, so that’s why I did

He leads me to this huge table filled with endless amount of food.

“Where’s Pepa?” Abuela asks 


“Dolores is getting her,” Bruno answers

Abeula just nods as everyone else sits down

Abeula and I are the only ones left standing

“You can sit down,” Félix assures me

I shake my head no and look back out in the hallway for mamí

“Maybe I should go check on her,” abuela sounds worried

“Mama, it’s okay, she’s alright,” Julieta assures her

Abeula sighs and sits down

Just then, mamí and Dolores returns!

I quickly run up to mamí and wrap my arms around her legs

She giggles,” well hello to you too!”

I look up to see her eyes are red and puffy, she was crying, but why? She should be happy, she’s with her family! Maybe she’s missing room? I should ask her about it when we’re alone, that’s if I remember.

Mamí picks me up,” you must be starving, huh?”


I nod

She kisses my cheek and carries me over to the table.

Mamí sets me down on the chair next to Félix, and she sits down on the chair in between me and Julieta. Dolores sits next to Camilo, so she’s right across from us.

Without a word, everyone fills their plate with food. Mamí makes my plate before starting on her own.

For some reason, no one talks as they all eat. This is nothing like eating meals in room, Mamí and I will be talking each other’s ears off!

I look at the plate in front of me, it’s a weird circle thing, scrambled eggs, and fruit.

I look up at mamí when she nudges me,”how come you are not eating?”

I wave my hand so that mamí knows to come down closer to my height. When she does, I whisper in her ear,”what is that?”

“This?” She picks up the weird circle thing

I nod

“It’s arepa con queso! Remember when we had rolls that one time?”

I nod, those rolls were good, I want to have them again

“Well, it’s sorta like that but with cheese inside!”

I look at it again, it looks sketchy

“Can you try it?”

I shake my head no

“What if I put sauce on it? Will you try it then?”

I don’t want to risk it, so I shake my head no again

“Well, at least eat your fruit! You like fruit”

Even the fruit here looks different

I sigh, I miss room

“At least-“ Mamí is starting to get frustrated,”eat something”

“Pepa, it’s alright,” Félix says

Mamí ignores him, instead she takes a bite out of the arepa

“Is it alright if we skip school today?” Camilo asks

“As long as it’s fine with Félix it’s fine with me,” answers Julieta

Félix nods in agreement, so I’m guessing that’s a yes

I look back at mamí

She must have read my mind, cause she answered my question without me having to ask it,” no school today”


I smile, this makes me happy

“He goes to school?” Agustín voice sounds like a mix of confused and surprised

“I tutor him”

I look over at Julieta, she’s sitting at the head of the table so she’s sitting next to mamí and Dolores. Julieta notices me staring and quickly looks away, that’s odd. It’s weird, she looked at me the way mamí looks at man.

Mamí didn’t notice though

“You know you can look at him, he’s not going to bite”

Everyone turns to look at Félix

“What are you talking about?” Julieta asks

“You and Antonio, you were fine with him yesterday so what’s different?”

“This is a hard time for us all, can we please just drop this?”

“He’s your sister’s kid”


“Don’t you think I know that!” She bangs her fist on the table causing mamí to flinch,”sorry, I- sorry”

“Julieta?” Mamí sounds concern, or confused, I’m not sure which

“He reminded me of you, especially when he scrunch up his nose, but I was praying to god it wasn’t true, that he isn’t yours. My heart about dropped when I saw you with him, I tried to ignore it and just focus on you, though it’s not working! He’s always around! He’s just a constant reminder-“ Mamí puts her hand up stopping her from talking

“Don’t finish that sentence”

Both mamí and Julieta have tears rolling down their cheeks

“I’m sorry Pepa, I wish I didn’t feel this way! I’ll admit, everyone at this table is a much better person than me because of it”

“Out of everyone here, there were three people, one of which included you, who I believed wouldn’t hesitate to accept Antonio in this family. In all my scenarios, never did I imagine for you to act like this.”

“I’m sorry”

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it,” Mamí says standing up from her seat

Félix stands from his seat as well,”Pepa”

Mamí looks at him but doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t even move

He’s the same way

“Thank you for standing up for him”

“I would do it again in a heartbeat, he’s a good kid”

“Yeah,” mamí nods,” he is…. Can we- can we talk?”

“Sure, I would like that”

Mamí looks at me,”is that okay with you? I promise I’ll be right back!”

I sigh, I don’t want to be alone with all of these people again

“Antonio, how about you and I eat in the big room! Just the two of us! You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” Bruno suggests

“Is that okay with you?” Mamí asks again

I nod still not saying anything, Bruno seems like a pretty cool person, he might be fun to hang out with.

Mamí kisses my head

She, along with Félix, leaves the table.

Both Bruno and I, grab our plates and stand up. He leads me back to the big room so that we can eat there.

I can’t help but worry about mamí, I hope she’s okay.

I don’t understand why Julieta doesn’t like me, I didn’t do anything to her. Maybe it’s because I refused to go back to room without Mirabel. She probably didn’t like the fact that I put her daughter in danger, I hope I can make it up to her.

Then again, she treats me, like everyone else does (excluding mamí), as if I’m made out of glass and not a real person. At least Félix and Bruno knows that I’m real.

Chapter Text

I lead Félix into the woman’s restroom

“Wow, never been in here before,” he jokes

“Félix!”

He gives me his famous smile,”alright, alright, let’s talk. Want me to lock the door?”

Suddenly it’s like everything has stopped, as if I’m frozen in place, my pounding heart rate is the only thing ensuring me that I’m alive.

“Hey, it’s okay! I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to! The door stays unlock! We can keep the door open for all I care! I just want you to feel comfortable and know that you’re safe”

I look down at the ground, my cheeks red from embarrassment. Gosh, how pathetic am I? I’m no where near that monster, and yet I’m still afraid. I know Félix will never hurt me, he won’t even touch me if I don’t want him too, and yet I’m terrified. I’m terrified that if he locks that door then i’ll be transported back to room, with the man that destroyed my life.

It just now occurs to me that Félix is still talking,” you and Antonio are safe! Alonzo is behind bars, he can’t get anywhere near you or your son, you’re safe.”

Poor Félix, he shouldn’t have to deal with this,” I-,” I take a deep breath and look back up at him, “I’m sorry I overreacted”

“There’s no need to apologize, you have every right to feel the way you do”

I try my best to hold back my tears,”that just makes me feel worst. You’re nothing like him, in fact, you’re the exact opposite! I shouldn’t be feeling the way I do! You don’t deserve this Félix! I’m giving you an out, take it”

“Whether that out is about the restroom or our relationship, I don’t know, either way, I’m not leaving.”

“Félix, I’m not the same person I was ten years ago. Even if we do stay married, our relationship won’t be the same, it will never go back to being like it was all those years ago”

“Then so be it, as long as I’m still married to you, I’ll be happy. Even if our marriage is more platonic, that’s fine, I’ll still be the happiest man alive. We’ll be together with our family! It will be us and our three kids”

“Three?”


“I know Antonio isn’t mine biologically, but I’m still going to be there for that kid. I won’t step up to be his father if you don’t want me too. I can just be a cool uncle to him! Either way, I’ll always call him my kid, if that’s okay of course”


“You’ll be willing to treat him as your son?”

“He is my son”

For the first time in a long time, I wrap my arms around Félix

In return, he hugs me back

We stay like that for a long time, both of us not saying anything, just enjoying the moment.

The hug felt like it could last for an eternity, but we pull away after a few minuets.

I wipe away the tears that manage to escape

Félix does the same

“You know,” Félix smiles breaking the silence,” Camilo has this crumbled up picture of you. After your disappearance, he held onto it as he slept for about a year before I was able to convince him to leave you on his nightstand. As much as I loved the way he was doing things, I didn’t want his picture of you to be ruined. Sometimes, if it gets too much for him, for whatever reason, he’ll hold onto that picture again and just stare at it until he falls asleep.”

I can’t help but smile, even when that boy only has one memory of me, he still needs me, he still needs his mamí, “what picture?”

“The one with you pregnant with him. You are holding onto your bump, with your head tilted a bit as you smile up at the camera. It’s quite a beautiful photo, one of my favorites”

“I think I gave him that photo”

“What?”

“Instead of a bed time story, one night he wanted to look through old photos. He seemed quite interested in that one, so I told him to keep it safe for me”

“I was wondering how he got his hands on it, I thought he really missed you one day so he rummaged through all of the photos until he found the perfect one.”

“Seems like something Camilo would do”


“Well, that’s because he did, I was wrong about him taking one”

I giggle at the thought

“Dolores would do her prayers, a lot of which consisted of her asking god to bring you home safely, and then she’ll talk to you. She will give you updates, tell you a funny joke she heard, etc. Even on days when she had nothing else to talk about, she still managed to come up with something to say. After every talk, she would end it with, “goodnight mamí, love you.””

Oh my gosh, she’s so cute,”How long did she keep that up for?”

“She never stopped, she said she’ll keep doing it every night, until you come home. Last night, she thanked god for everything, and she talked to you, that way, for one last time. I heard her say that she couldn’t wait to tell you everything in person rather than though spirit.”

“I’ll have to look forward to that then”

“Didn’t you two talked earlier?”

I shake my head no,”we held onto each other as we cried, sort of like what we did just now”

“Well, it will probably take a whole day for her to catch you up. I won’t give too much away, but be warned, there is a boy”

“Our little Dolores is seeing a boy?!”


He nods,”mmhm. Mariano, 22, a dumb hunk”


“No!”

“I gave him a talking to, he assured me he’ll do anything for her. He then recited a poem, that he wrote, about his love for her. It was really something….”

I chuckle,” well, at least she’s happy”

“Camilo is too busy with his theatre obsession and food to notice anyone, so we still have a good few years before he courts”

“I wonder what she’ll be like”

“I don’t know, but hey, at least he’s the oldest male in the third generation, so he won’t have to see her choose his cousin first”

“Huh?”

“Right, you don’t know that part yet…. You’ll know soon, probably tonight”

“Can’t you just tell me now?”

“Alma felt like it would be easier to tell you all of the major events, that you missed, all at once. As much as I would love to tell you, I would have to tell you everything for you to understand. So, the adults, not including Isabela, Dolores, and Luisa, are going to sit down and get you caught up tonight while everyone else is asleep”

“I can’t leave Antonio, his anxiety is at an all time high with everything that’s been happening. I don’t want him to wake up and see that I’m not there, I can’t freak him out like that”

“I know, that won’t happen, I promise! I’ll set y’alls cot near the table, so he can sleep while the rest of us talk. Your chair will be the closet to the cot, so if he does wake up, he’ll see you instantly and won’t worry!”

“We can’t talk too loud, sometimes he wakes up but doesn’t make any motions to indicate that he’s awake, he might listen in”

“Hush whispers it is”

“Okay…. I need to get Antonio prepared to go to the hospital, I know I can’t clean him up just yet, but he still needs to be prepared mentally. I’m also going to see if Dolores and Camilo would like to go with us, I won’t force them to go, but I really hope they’ll go”

“Want me to come with you?”

I shake my head no,”no”

“O-okay, I’ll help clean up the church then. We’ve been here almost two weeks, and it’s already starting to look like a pigsty”

I just nod and leave the restroom

I feel as if I’m still in room, like I don’t have the right to know what’s going on. I know they’ll tell me tonight, but it seems like this stuff is always on someone else’s terms, not mine.

This dream of being back home, is starting to become a nightmare. I missed out on experiencing through all of these things, and now I need to learn through stories instead.

Antonio gets to have me his whole childhood, something the other two never experienced. What if they think I love him more than them?! That’s not true though, I love all of my children equally! I need to make it up to them! I need to make up for lost time! But then Antonio would probably think I don’t love him anymore as I would have to spend less time with him and more time with his siblings. No matter what I do, I feel as if I might end up letting down at least one of my kids, possibly all three.

How the hell am I supposed to do this?

Chapter Text

In books, when a character goes to the hospital, or just to the doctor in general, that means someone is sick. That, however, is not the case with mamí and me. We aren’t sick, and neither is anyone in her family! But mamí says we still have to be here as we need to get something called a check up. It’s so that the doctors know that we’re healthy and strong!

Right after I escaped room, when I was still with Mirabel and Julieta, they had gifted me a pair of shoes. A boy had outgrown his, so, who I now know as Agustín, asked the mom if I could have it instead of them just throwing it away, she said yes. I tried it on, and sure enough, it fit! I was able to wear it on my journey back to room.

This is only my second time wearing shoes, so I’m still getting use to it. The only reason why I didn’t wear shoes on the walk this morning, was because mamí had forgotten I had them. It wasn’t too hot outside, so we were able to walk around barefoot. We had to watch the ground as we walked, we had to be careful not to step on anything sharp or anything like that. This time around, mamí and I both have shoes on. But because mamí doesn’t own any shoes, she had to borrow a pair from Dolores. Dolores has a second pair of shoes, so she isn’t walking around barefoot. Supposedly, Bruno and Camilo only own one pair, but because they didn’t have to lend it to anyone, they too were not barefoot. Despite the fact that I could walk on my own, mamí carried me to the hospital. Thank goodness she did too! This world is still new to me, and can get pretty scary at times, especially when I visit a place I’ve never been before. So, by mamí carrying me, I know that I am protected from any danger, that I’m safe. I don’t know what I would do if she wasn’t here with me.

Everyones eyes seem to be glued on us as we walked, it’s annoying. I thought once we got inside it would be all over, but nope! Even inside the people can’t stop staring at us. No one else seemed to be stared at as they walk, so why are we different? Do they not like the way we look? I haven’t changed since yesterday, I feel dirty. Maybe after I get cleaned up, people will start looking elsewhere instead of at us.

When we reach the room we’re supposed to be in, mamí sets me down on the bed. This bed is nothing like the one in Room, it’s much smaller, and higher up. The walls, along with the ceiling, are bright white it’s almost blinding to look at! On the wall, right next to the bed, is a shelf of some sort. It holds some scary looking gadgets, I hope that doesn’t get used on me today. I’m not sure what’s on the floor, it looks like a very tiny stage that can only fit one person. Right by it, is this poster thing, it has lines and numbers! The room seems pretty big though, it seems to fit the five of us perfectly. Even with all of the stuff, this room seems very empty. This room could be part of a scary story with how creepy it looks.

I look down and play with my fingers nervous

“It’s okay,” mamí assures me,”we are in this together, as long as you don’t leave me, I won’t leave you!”

I just nod and look at the others for support

They all smile, each of them say some encouraging words, but it doesn’t help, I’m still really nervous.

Lately all I’ve been is nervous, it sucks.

Dolores, Camilo, and Bruno doesn’t have to be here, but they are here for support. After all, this is a very scary thing to do, so we need all the protection we can get!

Originally, it was just supposed to be me, mamí, Camilo, and Dolores going to the hospital, Bruno wasn’t supposed to come. However, after finding out how cool he is, I practically begged mamí for him to go with us. Bruno didn’t mind that I didn’t talk, in fact, he did all of the talking! Even with that, he still made sure that I was listening/ interested to what he was saying. Turns out, Bruno isn’t so good with people either and that he has rat friends to help him out! Sometimes when he gets bored, he writes plays and have the rats act it out! A play is just like a book, but instead of just looking down at the words, you can see it play out in real life! He currently has three stars, Fernando, Regina, and Maria! Fernando is my favorite, cause he has the funnest name. He knows not to overwork them, as just like humans, they need breaks too! He also knows how to properly take care of them, something mamí never seemed to be able to do. Sadly, his rat friends couldn’t come with us, so they were left behind at the church. Bruno says the rats could be my friends too, which of course I said yes to. But what Bruno doesn’t know, is that I consider him as my friend too. He’s my first real friend, besides mamí, and I cannot be happier. He’s not my best friend though, that spot is strictly reserved for mamí, and mamí only.

I grab a hold of mamí’s hand when the door opens

“Okay….” a man, in a white coat says coming in, he doesn’t even look up from his clipboard, “today is going to be a long day, but we will get through it together. I’m Doctor Martínez and I will be helping y’all out today.” He finally looks up at us,”oh, I thought it was only supposed to be the two”

“That is correct, the rest of us are here just for support, if you don’t mind,” Bruno smiles

“Uh of course, just please stand to the side so that I can focus on these two”

“We’ll be right on that wall! If you need any of us, just say it and we’ll run over to you,” Bruno didn’t look at the doctor when he said that, instead, he looked right at mamí.

Bruno, Dolores, and Camilo move aside and lean against the nearest wall. Sadly, they couldn’t be at the wall right next to the bed, but where they are at, it’s still pretty close. They have to be by the wall so that they are out of the way, but are still right beside us, just in case we need reassurance.

“Before we start, you should know that all of this information is going to the police. I know usually your mother deals with this kind of stuff, however, the case is too personal for her. The police is taking all the necessary measurements in order to find a suitable punishment for Alonzo, that’s if he’s found guilty,” Doctor Martínez informs us

“If he’s found guilty?” Mamí sounds confused

“I’m not saying he’s not, I’m just simply leaving it up to the evidence to decide. It will prove whether or not he is guilty. My job, right now, is to gather all the evidence I can get, and that’s what I intend to do. You escaped, the hard part is over now! The rest should be a piece of cake”

“I’m sorry, I’m just confused, I thought this was only supposed to be a check up. I don’t understand why we have to do all of that”

“The police just want to get everything straight, they want to make sure they aren’t punishing an innocent man”

“An innocent man?! Wasn’t me being locked in his shed proof enough?!”

“We’re just taking all the necessary precautions. I believe you, I do, but this can’t be based on just say. In order to get justice, you need proof”

She takes a deep breath and nods

“We’ll start with the boy first”

Mamí squeezes my hand, she must be scared too,”okay”

“Full name and date of birth”

Luckily, mamí does the talking for me, ”Antonio Felipe Madrigal, born May 21, 1945”

“Does he have any allergies?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think so”

“While…. Away, did he get the proper amount of nutrients for a child his age?”

“No”

“What did he typically eat?”

“Uh bread, some dairy, fruit, anything I can feed him really. I was worried for his health, so um I uh-“ Mamí lets go of my hand and crosses her arms over her chest,”I breastfed him,” mamí voice for the last part is barely above a whisper

“I see,” he writes something down on his clipboard

Mamí taps her foot anxious

“When was the last time you breastfed him?”



“A few days ago”

“Did he get the recommended hours of sleep?”

“I think so, yeah”

“When was the last time he got sick?”


“I don’t know”

“You don’t know?”

“It’s been a while, uh maybe a year or two ago”

“At any point during- your time away, was there a time you were concerned health wise? Not just his nutrients, but the rate of his breathing, or a rash maybe?”

“Yeah, a few, but they all cleared up so it’s fine”

“Was he ever bitten by rodents of any sort?”

“Possibly, there’s no way to be sure”

“Great, thank you so much for cooperating with me. I’ll now ask you a series of questions, afterwards, you and your son will dispose of your clothes, we’ll provide you with a gown to wear. We’ll put the clothes in bags and send it on its way to the police. We then will do a physical checkup, to make sure everything is okay, and see if we need to provide you with any meds.”

Mamí nods,”okay, thank you”

“Full name and date of birth”

“Josefa Isabela Madrigal, born October 17, 1900”

Listening to this, I realize I never celebrated mamí’s birthday. Truth be told, I didn’t even know she had a birthday.

“Is there any chance you can be pregnant?”

Mamí chuckles at this,”no”

“How often did Alzono and you have intercourse?”

Intercourse is a funny word, I wonder who came up with it

“Every night, except for the last two”

“Did he rape you?”

For some reason, it takes a minuet for mamí to answer this,”yes”

“Why the sudden pause?”

“This isn’t supposed to be an interrogation”

“I’m sorry if I made it come across that way, I promise you, I’m just trying to do my job”

“Like I said before, I don’t understand how all of this is necessary. There should already be justice for crying out loud! Did I need to show up dead for him to get what he deserves?”

“No, if everything goes right, he’ll still be rightfully punished”

“That’s if it goes right, there’s still a chance that it doesn’t!”

“I can’t promise anything, but I will do everything in my power to help you. I’m not the bad guy here, I’m on your side”

I can tell by the way mamí’s chest quickly rises, that her breathing has become rapid, that means she’s panicking,”I just want to go home, not to the stupid church, but home! This isn’t how I imagine me being free would go. Even when I’m out, he still has control over me,” Mamí whispers the last part.

She looks down at the ground and sniffle, tears start to roll down her cheeks.

“Mamí?” I try to touch her arm to cradle her, like she does when I’m sad, but she pushes my hand away.

“How about,” Bruno takes a step forward so that he’s closer to us,”how about you go get the gowns hmmm?”

The doctor does a slight nod,”sure”

The doctor leaves, leaving the five of us alone in the room

“It’s okay, you’re safe,” Bruno leads mamí to across the room. I’m guessing he does that so I won’t hear them.

I watch as mamí collapses into his arms and sob

I looked up at Dolores when she blocked my view, both her and Camilo are standing infront of me.

“You did such an amazing job with the doctor! You’re really brave,” Dolores voice is very soft, she doesn’t speak very loudly.

“Even I get scared when I have to come here! Although, I’m nowhere near as brave as you!” Camilo smiles

This makes me confused, Mamí said that the stories she told were real, she just changed the names. So if that’s true, doesn’t that mean magic is real? Why would he need to go here when his tía can heal him with her magical food? Maybe that part was made up too…. But that would mean, this world that mamí has told me so much about, is a lie. Nothing is like how she described, she lied! She lied to me! Mamí’s aren’t supposed to lie! I don’t think I want to live in this stupid world anymore.

“Hey are you okay?” Dolores asks

“You seem a little upset,” Camilo adds

I want to check on mamí, but her other children are preventing me from doing so. I’ve called them my siblings before, I don’t know why this time is different. I guess to me, they’ve always just been mamí’s other children. From what I have read in books, siblings are supposed to have this deep connection, a special bond that no one can break or even understand for that matter. But I don’t have that with them, in fact this is the first time they even tried to talk to me. They don’t look at me the way Julieta does, but they still ignore me. They’ve tried to come up to me a few times, I’ve seen them, but they never do.

This is my first official day being in the real world, and so far I feel like a caged animal. I’ve seen pictures of some, but I never imagine I be one myself. Everyone is always so…. What’s the word? Cautious! Everyone is always so cautious around me! They’re terrified of me and I don’t know why. Did I do something wrong to deserve this? Or is this how everyone is treated in the real world?

There’s a knock at the door, which means the doctor is back. I don’t like him very much, he made mamí sad, and that’s not okay.

“Knock knock,” his annoying self laughs

Dolores and Camilo finally step aside, so now I can see mamí. She has pulled away from Bruno since last time I saw her, she probably did that when the door opened. Mamí looks like a wreck, she must have really been sad.

“Sadly, for the rest of the duration of time, the visitors must stay in the waiting room,” the doctor states

“Can’t they stay?” Mamí sounds worried, she practically begs him without saying anything

“I don’t think you want them here for this next part”

“We’ll see you in a bit Antonio,” Camilo smiles

“And maybe afterwards, we can get some ice cream!” Dolores squeals excited, even her squeals are quiet.

My eyes grow wide in amazement! Ice cream is real! I thought it was just in books!

I’m not sure why, but Dolores giggles.

The two them then hug mamí and said their goodbyes. Bruno gives mamí one last hug, and waves bye to me, before following after them.

Now, it’s just me and mamí alone with the doctor

He hands mamí, what looks like two white dresses with blue poka dots, but I guess around here they’re known as gowns. He then sets two bags on the ground,” dispose of your clothes each into a separate bag. When you finish getting ready, just knock on the door and I’ll come back in,” he then steps out of the room.

Mamí gets down on her knees, so that we’re the same height, and smiles at me,”you ready?”

I shake my head no, I don’t want to be put in a gown. If I do that, then that means I have stay in the hospital forever, I don’t want that! What if they separate me from mamí, who am I supposed to talk to then?! I want to go home, back to room!

“Hey, it’s okay! It’s okay!” Mamí wraps her arms around me

It is then I realize that I’m crying

“It’s only temporary, I promise! I’ll stay by your side, during the entire time!”

“Temporary, meaning only a short amount of time”

“Exactly! It will be over before you know it!”

“And then no more hospital?”

She kisses the top of my head,”no more hospital, no more doctors! It will just be you, me, and the rest of the family”

I sigh trying to hide the fact that I’m disappointed, other than Bruno and maybe Félix, I don’t like the family

“Are you ready to get changed now? I promise we’ll get you back in normal clothes soon”

“Okay….”

“Okay,” she smiles

She helps me get undressed and I watch as she packs all of my clothes into a bag. She doesn’t put my shoes in it though, instead she just sets it aside. She then helps me put on a gown.

She stands back up, so that she can get ready.

I watch as she does the same thing to herself, and soon enough, we’re matching.

“Is it okay if I knock now? To let the doctor know that we’re ready,” she asks looking down at me

“No”

“It’s only a little while longer and then we can go”

“Why can’t we just go now?”

“Well…. Remember when we talked about how man stoled me?”

“Yeah?”

“Unfortunately, the good guys can’t just take our say for it. They need proof that he actually did what he did! Do you understand?”

“Don’t the good guys trust us?”

“They do, but this whole ca- thing can’t rely on just trust. They need hardcore evidence!”

“The doctor said that earlier, what does it mean?”

“It’s just a fancy word for proof”

“What’s going to happen to man after we gather the evidence?”

“He’ll pay for what he did”

“Like money?”

“More like- being put in a big time out!”

“Those are no fun!”

“Nope,” she says emphasizing the P, she then looks at the door then back at me,”look Antonio, as much as I love talking to you, I would very much like to get out of here! So can I let the doctor in?”

“Can we get ice cream after we’re done?” I still can’t believe ice cream is real! It’s like a dream come true!

She chuckles,”sure”

“Then sure,” I nod

She knocks on the door and the doctor comes in.

“Okay Antonio, I need you to come over here,” he stands next to the weird thing by the bed.

Reluctantly I listen

“This is called a scale! Do you know what it does?”

I shake my head no

“Well, you step on it and we can see how much you weigh! It’s very cool if I do say so myself”

I look over at mamí and she gives me a nod of encouragement. I take a deep breath and step on the scale thingy.

Doctor, what’s his name, write something down on his clipboard,”very good! Now step off, I need you to stand against this poster over here”

I want to asks what it does, but I don’t, I just do as told.

“This is so that we can see how tall you are!” He writes on his clipboard again. “Alright, Josefa you’re up!”

“Just call me Pepa, please,” Mamí requested

“Sorry, Pepa. Can you please step on the scale?”

She does as asked, afterwards he checks how tall she is.

The doctor then made me get on the bed, I was able to do the rest of the check up there! He had all sorts of cool gadgets, each of which had its own purpose! He explained what each thing does before using it with me, it was really cool! Turns out the gadgets aren’t scary at all, they’re actually super helpful! This doctor guy might not be so bad after all!

It’s now mamí’s turn, and he does the same thing to her! Except, he doesn’t explain what each gadget does, he just does it.

“We still have quite a bit left to go, but hey, we’re getting there. The nurse should have the camera ready-“ mamí interrupts him

“Camera?!”

A camera is used to take pictures! Cool! I’ve never had my picture taken before.

“It’s for the uh….. thorough examination”

“Is that really necessary?”

“The police want everything covered before they do anything”

“Fine, but I’m not putting my son through that”


“He-“ Mamí interrupts him again

“No, man never touched him! I will not allow my son to be- examined”

“Man?”

“Alonzo! Whatever his name is, I don’t care! You can do whatever you want with me, fine, but my son is done. He’s fine, everything checked out! I’m not putting him through an unnecessary- well, you know”

“I really think you should rethink this”

“My decision is final”

Without another word, the doctor leaves the room

Mamí turns to look at me,”if you want, you can watch as I get the pictures done, but that’s it! Afterwards, I need you to sit down on the ground, face the wall, and close your eyes. I’ll hold your hand so you’ll still know that I’m here and that I’m not going anywhere. You can’t open your eyes until I say so, do you understand?”

“Yes mamí”

“Not even a peak! Eyes stay shut the entire time!”

“Okay mamí, I understand”

She wraps her arms around me and give me a tight squeeze,” I love you”

“Mamí?”

“Yes baby?”

“Can I get my picture taken too?

I feel her shake her head no,”it’s not the type of pictures you’re thinking of, it’s something very different, you wouldn’t like it.”

“Does that make doctor like man?”

She pulls away and looks me in the eyes,”no baby, he’s part of the good guys, he’s helping put man away!”

“So, what is he going to do to you? What is the exam-in-ation?” I sound out the last word, as it’s tricky word to say

“Well…. Uh….. basically think of me like the evidence” 


“Proof?”

She nods,”mmhm. Well, Doctor Martínez is going to come in and, uh, he’s going to use some of his special gadgets to…. Extract the evidence from me!”

“Extract?”

“Take out”

“But, I thought you were the evidence? Is he going to take out you?”

“I explained it poorly, and that’s my bad. It’s more like the evidence is on me and he’s going to come in and extract that”

“Ohhhhhh okay”

“Make sense?”

I nod,”mmhm”

“Good”

Just then man comes back, with what I believe is a camera. A real camera!

Mamí takes a deep breath and gets off of the bed

“I hate to do this, but I’m going to need you to-“ he is cut off

“I know”

Mamí takes off the gown and starts to mumble,” clear skies,” to herself as the doctor takes the photos.

This brings me back to a time when I was four, so a long time ago.

——————————————————————————————

“Move a little to the left,” Mamí says and motions her hand in said direction so I know which way is left.

I do as told with a huge smile plastered on my face

“Beautiful! Click”

Mamí and I are currently playing photoshoot. We don’t have a real camera, so mamí has to pretend like she is holding one.

“Strike a pose!”

I put one hand on my hip and hold up the other to make a peace sign

“Gorgeous! Click!”

I giggle,”now you!”

Mamí puts both hands on her hips and make a very serious face

I take the imaginary picture,”click”

“Now one together!”


I jump up excited,”yeah!”

She goes to get next to me and kneels down. We smush are faces together, both of us with the biggest smile we can manage, and mamí takes the “picture.”

——————————————————————————————

This is nothing like that

Instead, the doctor has a real camera and uses it to take photos of mamí being naked and sad.

At least back in room mamí was happy, now all she does is cry.

“Can you turn around please?’

Mamí nods and turns, so that way her back is facing the camera

With mamí turning around, I was able to get a view of her scar on her upper thigh. I never quite figured out what it was, all I know is that it’s a scar. It’s very a odd shape, and it’s a little bit darker than the rest of her color.

Once mamí taught me about birthmarks, I thought that was what the scar was, but she said it wasn’t. Instead of saying what it was, she just did what she always did when its brought up, and change the topic. It makes me think that man did it to her as a punishment, but then again, I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll ever figure it out.

“Okay,” the doctor sets the camera down,”can you get on the bed?”

Mamí does as asked,”Antonio”

I sigh

I sit down on the ground, facing the wall, and close my eyes. In an attempt to try to calm my nerves, I hold mamí’s hand. I can’t see what’s going on, but I can still hear.

Mamí shifts a bit

“This might be a little uncomfortable,” the doctor states

Not even a second later, I hear mamí whimper

I let go of mamí’s hand, and put my hands over my ears, I don’t want to hear anymore of this.

“I’m- ah- I’m okay Antonio, mamí’s okay,” she tries to assure me.

“Don’t think about it and the pain will go away,” I whisper to myself

I’m not hurt physically, but rather my heart hurts, I hate it when mamí’s in pain. This world is no good to her, but then again, neither is room. As much as I want room to be perfect, it’s not. This world isn’t perfect either, and I may hate it, but I have to suck it up and deal with it, not for me, but for mamí.

Mamí pulls my hand away from my ear,”keep your eyes close, but get your hands away from your ears okay?”

I sigh and put my hands in my lap

“Once upon a- mmmm- time there was a brave prince. His father had sent him on a dangerous mission to save the princess. The only problem was, this little boy has never left his village, he doesn’t know what’s outside of it! He put on a brave face and puffed out his chest in pride. He then went on his way, to save the princess!

After the first hour, he ran into his first obstacle. A troll was blocking his path! This troll was no ordinary troll, he was gigantic! Bigger than the mountain even! The little boy is frighten, but he doesn’t let the troll know that!”

“Can you sit up please?” The doctor asks interrupting the story

I hear as mamí makes the bed shift, indicating she has sat up.

As the doctor continues with whatever he is doing, mamí continues telling the story.

“Where was I? Oh right! 

“Thou shall not pass,” states the troll

“But please sir,” the prince pleads,” Princess Cloudy needs my help!”

“If you can answer my three questions correctly, I’ll let you pass”

“Thank you sir!”

“If you took two apples from a pile of three apples, how many apples would you have?”” Mamí stops talking, I’m guessing that means I have to answer the question myself.

“Two!” I whisper loud enough for mamí to hear

““Ah you’re too smart for me,” the troll complained. “Here is one that will bound to get you: I’m red or green and grow on a vine. When I’m dried up, I make raisins, what am I?””

I think long and hard about this,”a grape!” I once again whispered, I don’t want the doctor to hear me

“”Ah shoot, you got me again!” states the troll,” If you answer this last question correctly, I’ll let you pass! But be warned, this is a hard one! What insect has eight legs?””

This makes me confused, but then I realize, I’m being tricked,”none! Insects only have six legs!” My voice is still at a whisper

“”Ah darn! You got me again! You may pass”

“Thank you good sir!”

The young prince continued on with his quest. He-“ Mamí is interrupted yet again

“Alright, we are done! Thank you so much for cooperating! Your family has brought you some clothes to wear and its already in the bathroom across the hall. There’s a shower in there, with shampoo, so you can get cleaned up before you get dressed. You’re then free to go! If you have any questions, feel free to stop by the front desk and ask for me.”

“Thank you, Dr. Martínez”

He smiles and leaves.

“You can open your eyes now”

I open them, I then turn around and look up at mamí,”can you finish the story?”

“Tonight, I’ll finish it before you go to bed”

“Okay…..”

Mamí gets out of bed, walks across the room, puts back on the gown, and picks up our shoes,”want me to carry you or do you want to walk?”

I sigh,”I’ll walk”

“Okay!”

Mamí leads me across the hall and into the bathroom.

It’s weird not having everything you need in one room.

Mamí drops the shoes by the door, next to the box.

She scans the room and smile,”Antonio come here”

I walk up to her

She picks me up and points to where two people are looking at us, one of which looks exactly like mamí.

“That’s us!” Mamí exclaims. The person in the thing spoke and stop at the exact same time mamí did, so I know she isn’t lying.

“How?”

“It’s our reflection! Think of it like a photo, except this is showing us in real time!”

I tilt my head, my reflection does the same thing at the exact same time, this is weird. A thought then pops into my mind,”mamí?”

“Yeah?”

“Is man going to find us?”

“Antonio, look at me”

I do so

“He will never find us, we’ll never have to deal with him again”

“Promise?”

“Promise”

Mamí then sets me down and kneels so that we’re the same height,”arms up”

I do so

She takes my gown off and throws it behind her

This makes me confused,”aren’t we going to wash it?”

“That’s the hospital’s job, we don’t have to do anything,” mamí says while taking off her gown,”alright, let’s get cleaned up”

“Bath before bed, that’s the rule”

“There are no rules here Antonio, we can do whatever we want whenever we want”

I look at her unsure

She stands up,”come on,” she goes over to this weird, tall, box thingy.

“Where’s the bath?”

“There isn’t one, we have a shower! It’s splasher”

“I don’t know about this….”

“It’s okay,” mamí steps in the box shower thing and turns on the water,”oh man that feels good”

I sigh, this sucks

“Antonio, come on, I wouldn’t be using it if it wasn’t safe”

Reluctantly, I step in

Mamí is in the middle washing herself,”want to get in?”

I shake my head no,”uh huh”

Mamí uses her hands to splash some water on me, making both of us giggle

Mamí gets cleaned first

After she is done, unfortunately, that makes it my turn

Mamí helps me with this

We eventually finish, making us both clean.

Mamí turns off the water,”I don’t think they provided us with any towels, but that’s okay, we can air dry”

We both step out of the shower and mamí goes over to the box.

“Yes!” She pulls out girls' undergarments and puts it on. She then reaches into the box again, but this time pulls out a mustard yellow dress, and slips it on.

“Alright, come on, let’s get you dressed”

I walk over to her and she helps me get dressed.

I’m now wearing: brown pants, long sleeved, yellow, stripped shirt, my shoes, and a red scarf around my neck. I think this is my new favorite outfit.

“Ready to go?” mamí smiles

I look up at her,”mamí?”

“Yes Toñito?”

“Is this part of Sunday treat?”

“We’ll have so many treats, and not just on Sundays!”

“Whoa”

“I know!”

Mamí grabs a hold of my hand, and together, we walk out of the bathroom.

Mamí leads me to where the others are

“Sorry we took so long,” she apologizes

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” Bruno says,”plus it gave us time to get you two some cool new outfits! Y’all look fabulous by the way”

She rolls her eyes smiling,”ay lets go”

I tug on mamí’s dress

She picks me up and I whisper in her ear,”ice cream?”

“We have to eat dinner first, but then you will get your ice cream”

I smile and lay my head down on her shoulder

We head out the door and to the church

Dolores is talking our ears off, she keeps talking about a guy named Mariano and how he is so sweet.

Camilo keeps cracking jokes which makes Dolores mad.

Maybe they aren’t so bad after all, I hope I can join in on their bond one day. Until then, I have mamí and Bruno, and possibly Félix.

This world might not be perfect, but it’s turning out to be quite alright.

Chapter Text

I’ve been in world for almost 24 hours now and I’ve already seen so much! Mamí wasn’t lying when she said world was filled with so many things! I’ve seen things like arepas, cots, cameras, grass, and even once a capybara! That capybara was half the size of me!

I even got to see abuela and tía that mamí mentioned once! Although, they don’t live in that casita with a picnic table in the backyard anymore, instead they live at the church where everyone else also lives!

I’ve seen people with many different faces, shapes, and smells talking all together. World is like trying to read every book that ever existed! I have a hard time knowing exactly where I’m supposed to look and focus because of it.

There’s doors and more doors! And behind those doors, there’s another inside, and another outside! Things are always going on, it never stops!

The world is always changing brightness and hotness! Plus, sometimes winds are involved! They don’t get as strong as the tornado in The Wizard of Oz though.

When I was small, I only knew small things, now that I’m five, I know everything!

I’m just as smart as mamí now

Speaking of mamí, for some odd reason she stopped as soon as we entered the sanctuary. From what I can tell, Abuela is just directing Agustín and Félix on where to put some of the many boxes, I don’t understand why that would have mamí so freaked out though, or at least I think she’s freaked out. I’m on her hip, so unless she looks directly at me, I can’t really see her face, so its hard to tell what she’s feeling. I just hope it doesn’t lead to another off day, those days are always hard.

“Ah Pepa, Antonio, welcome back!” Abuela smiles and clasp her hands together as she makes her way over to us,”how was the- uh trip?”

Félix also makes his way over while Agustín leaves the room.

“Fine,” mamí quietly responded,”what’s with all of this?”

“Oh, the towns people brought them, that’s how we were able to find you clothes so quickly,” Dolores answers, “they also brought some hygiene stuff, books for you, and toys for Antonio”

“Well that was nice of them”

“Everyone is thrilled that you’re back! The Encanto wasn’t as joyful without all of the Madrigals together,” abuela beams

Mamí nods not saying anything

This makes me worried, with mamí not talking, shows another sign that an off day is coming.

Félix is hesitant to speak but does so anyways, “hey kids how about we leave your mom alone for a bit”

Without a word, mamí’s other- no, my siblings leave the sanctuary.

Bruno reaches his hands out to hold me, I quickly turn him down by shaking my head.

Mamí closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, “Antonio go with Bruno”

“I want to stay with you,” I whisper in her ear

“We are together all the time, and as much as I love that we are, I need you to stay with your tío for a few minuets”

I pout shaking my head no

“Antonio….” She gives her warning tone, but I am not going to budge, I want to stay with her, why can’t she understand that?

“I can tell you another rat telenovela,” Bruno suggests

I lay my head on mamí’s shoulder

“Antonio please,” her voice cracks, which can only mean she’s really upset.

“Pepa is everything alright?” Abuela lays her hand on mamí’s other shoulder causing mamí to take a step back

“Please don’t,” Mamí’s voice is barley above a whisper

“Would you like us to leave?” Félix asks

Mamí nods

“Antonio come on, lets give your mamí a break,” Bruno tries to get a hold of me again

This confuses me, why does mamí need a break if she hasn’t been doing anything?

“It’s fine, if he hasn’t budge already, he isn’t going to at all,” Mamí says

“Are you sure? I can always try to force him-“

Mamí’s eyes grew wide, her breath hitched

“That was a poor choice of words on my behalf, I swear I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s fine, just please go”

Bruno gives us a sad smile before leaving with Félix and abuela

Mamí sets me down

I watch as she brings her hands up to her face, I think she’s trying to hide the fact that she’s crying

I hate seeing her this upset,”Are you okay?”

“I’m fine”

“Then why did you kick everyone out?”

“I got overwhelmed”

“What does that mean?”

“There’s just too much stuff going on all at once and I don’t know how to deal with it all”

“I don’t understand, I thought you love this family”

“I do”

“Then why are you overwhelmed?”

“I guess I just haven’t adjusted quite yet that’s all. I mean for years it was just us two, and now I have to get use to being around everybody again”

“What about man?”

She kneels down to my height, “What about him?”

“Man makes three people, and three is a big number, so you should already be use to a big number of people”

“Well, three is small compared to twelve, don’t you think?”

My eyes grew wide, “that’s a lot of people to be in one family”

This makes her laugh

Now instead of being overwhelmed, mamí is happy, which makes me happy

“And its only going to grow”

“Whoa!”

“I know!”

I wrap my arms around her neck,”I’m glad we’re family”

She hugs me back, “me too, I love you Toñito”

“I love you too mamí”

There’s a knock on one of the doors, which is now opened thanks to Félix, “sorry to interrupt, dinner is ready for when y’all want to come and eat”

Mamí lets go of me and stands back up, “thank you Félix, we will be there momentarily”

He gives a slight nod and leaves

Mamí kneels back down, “now Antonio, I am going to need you to be a big boy and eat your food”

“Is it going to be weird food like last time?”

“Just because you haven’t tried something before, doesn’t make it weird”

“It does to me”

She brings her hand up and ruffles with my hair, “come on, at least take a bite before you make any judgement on it”

“Just one bite?”

She nods, “and if you don’t like it, you won’t have to finish it”

“Okay…..”

She smiles, “that’s what I’m talking about!”

She stands back up and offers me her hand, which of course I hold

Together, we walk to the table where everyone else is at

We don’t sit in the same seats we sat during breakfast, instead we sit as far away from Julieta as we can, though we still sit across from Dolores and Camilo.

“Have you ever had sancocho Antonio?” Abuela asked

I shake my head no

“Well its very good,” she takes a bite of her food

My food remains untouched

Mamí nudges me, ”you promised”

I look at her with pleading eyes

“Just one bite”

I sigh and wave my hand gesturing her to come down to my height so that I can whisper in her ear

She shakes her head no,”whatever you have to say, you can say it out loud. You don’t need to whisper it to me every time”

I pout, this sucks

“Antonio come on”

I cross my arms over my chest

She pinches the bridge of her nose frustrated,”alright how about this, you can choose to eat your food or talk out loud, and I won’t make you do the other”

I nod in agreement

“So? Which is it going to be?”

I pick up my fork, get a little bit of food on it, and take a bite. As soon as the food had entered my mouth, I go in for another bite, boy is this good!

She lowers her head, “alright, what did you need to tell me?”

I shake my head, indicating never mind

She smiles and place a kiss on top of my head, “thank you”

I would do something to respond, but I’m too busy enjoying my food to do so.

Dolores giggles, “if you like this, just wait until we bring out the ice cream”

“Wait we’re having ice cream?” Camilo sounds excited

“We were just talking about this earlier, why are you so surprise?”

“I didn’t know we were having it this soon! I thought it was going to be another couple of days before we made a batch”

“When we made the trip back to the church to get the clothes and I went to go talk with Mirabel, what did you think that was about?”

“I don’t know, girl stuff”

She rolls her eyes smiling, “you’re pathetic”

“Lets quit it with that kind of talk,” Félix interrupts

“Sorry,” they both mumbled

“We have just enough chocolate ice cream for everyone!” Luisa announced

“We were going to have vanilla too, but lets just say it didn’t work out,” Mirabel tries to contain her laughter

Isabela huffs, “no one likes vanilla anyways”

“I do!” Luisa protests

“Look girls its not your sister’s fault that she got her cooking abilities from her father,” Julieta lets out a light chuckle

“Hey!” Both Isabela and Agustín shout

I tap mamí’s leg and she lowers her head so that I can whisper in her ear, “are they always this loud?”

With that mamí burst out laughing, causing me and everyone else around to be confused

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed,” she uses her hand to cover up her smile

This just made me giggle, I may not understand why she’s laughing, but her laugh can be- what’s the word? Contagious!

With that, everyone else starts laughing too

I think I even see a few tears coming out of mamí’s eyes with how hard she’s laughing!

We eventually quiet down with a few giggles here and there.

I didn’t notice Félix and abuela had left during the time of laughter, so I was both surprised and excited when they both came back carrying a trey with bowls, of what I can only hope is ice cream, on top. 

No one eats their ice cream right away, they all wait until everyone has a bowl.

All eyes are on me 

I look up at Abuela as she places a bowl down in front of me

She smiles, “go ahead, try it”

I take the spoon out of the bowl to see it already has ice cream on it, I examine the ice cream before putting it in my mouth.

My eyes grew wide, ice cream is EVERYTHING

Everyone takes that as their sign to dig in as well

I take spoon full after spoon full, I cannot stop! Once I’m done I need to ask mamí if I can get more.

I go in for another spoon full, when my head starts to throb, maybe ice cream isn’t as good as I originally thought.

Mamí notices and lowers herself so that I can be the only one to hear her, “what’s wrong?”

“Ice cream hurts,” I whisper

She giggles, “that’s cause you’re eating it too fast! You got to slow down to enjoy it”

“Can I have some more after this?”

She smiles, “tomorrow”

I pout, “awwww”

“Ah brain freeze!”

I look up to see Camilo bringing his hand up to his head 

I giggle glancing towards mamí, I know for a fact that we are both thinking the same thing, that Camilo needs to slow down!
————————————————

“What about another story?” I beg

It’s later now, and Mamí is trying to put me to bed even though I’m not tired!

She shakes her head no, “you already got a story”

“But I want another one!”

“No Antonio!”

I pout,”no fair”

She sighs, “lets go over the rule for tonight one more time”

“Okay…..”

“Go”

“If I wake up, I notify you right away”

“Why?”

“Cause you’re talking about adult stuff that I am too young to understand”

“Good”

“Just to make sure, it is only for tonight right?”

She nods, “mmhm, tomorrow we’ll go back to our regular routine”

“Why can’t you just stay with me?”

“I’ll be right over at the table, you can see me from here. It will be like how it was in room, I’ll be with you but not with you. And when I am done, I’ll lay down with you and fall asleep”

“Can you at least sing me a song before you have to go?”

She nods, “scoot”

I do so

She lays down next to me, “close your eyes”

I close my eyes

She plays with my hair as she begins to sing softly, “dos oruguitas….”

Maybe world isn’t so bad, as long as I am have mamí, I think I’ll be okay.

Chapter Text

When I wake up, mamí is fast asleep in the cot with me

I sigh not tired enough to go back to sleep

So instead, I opt to get out of bed. I manage to lift mamí’s arm up ever so slightly, and slide off the cot. Mamí makes a “mmmm” sound when I lower her arm back down, she’s still asleep though.

We’re still in the eating area since the adults had to talk last night and mamí didn’t want to leave me alone. Knowing better than to explore the big room while everyone else is asleep, like I did my first morning here, I decided to trace my fingers along the table acting as if it were a race track. It was fun until the big doors opened and I had to dunk under the table.

Turns out it was abuela and Agustín, they were talking to each other quietly as if they were sharing secrets. It was probably a bad secret, given they were both so serious looking.

I hear abuela say, “it should be settled soon,” before leaving to go back to the big room.

Agustín is about to follow her but stops, he makes a “hmph” sound. I crawl forward, still hiding, to see him tapping his finger on his chin, “everyone is either asleep or busy,” he says, “there’s no one to play with me.”

I watch him curiously

“I guess I am pretty hungry though, I’ll go to the kitchen, there’s always something tasty in the kitchen”

He walks around the table and goes in through the doors with windows.

Once he is inside, I get out from under the table, and crack open one of the doors.

He’s humming to himself as he goes through the cereal. He ends up picking up one of the boxes and turns around.

We make eye contact

“Hello,” he says, “I didn’t know you were up”

I shrug

“Want some cereal?”

I nod

“Go sit at the table, I’ll bring out a bowl for you” he smiles

I do as told

It isn’t long before he comes out with two bowls in his hands. He places a bowl in front of me before going around the table and sitting down, he picks the chair across from mine.

I wait until he starts eating to eat myself.

“This is good cereal, one of my favorites”

I continue to chew

“It’s a little too sweet though,” he takes another bite, “don’t you think?”

I don’t answer

He takes another bite as do I

I finish chewing and swallow. I then asked, with my real voice, “do you have a gift?”

He shakes his head no, “I don’t, but my wife does, well did”

“She’s the one who healed people with her food”

“Yeah,” he sounds surprised, “that’s right”

“I had a gift too, or at least I thought I did”

“Oh?”

“I believed I could melt, but turns out it was just too hot in room”

“Melting would be a pretty cool ability”

“I think so too”

“I always thought that if I ever had a gift it would be the ability to levitate”

“What does that mean?”

“Sort of like flying, but you aren’t far from the ground”

“Oh, why not just fly?”

“Well, I don’t know if you know this or not, but I’m pretty accident prone. I’m always falling, running into things, you name it! So if I had the ability to levitate, I will be able to stop myself from getting hurt so much”

“Ohhhhhh, smart thinking”

He chuckles, “why thank you”

We continue to eat our cereal

“What about you?” He asks, “if you could choose your gift, what would it be?”

“Hmmm,” I think, “I like books so maybe something with that. No wait! Animals! I want to talk to animals so that way I can fully understand what Parce is saying”

“Who’s Parce?”

“My pet jaguar!” I then spent the rest of breakfast telling him everything about Parce and how we are going to go on many adventures together when I’m older.

Agustín had to go and do other things, so I went back to mamí who was still fast asleep. Still not wanting to go to the big room, I hunch over so that my face is really close to hers, and I begin counting her freckles.

In one swift motion, she opens her eyes and gasps for air. She raises her hand as if she is about to slap me but she doesn’t.

I quickly stand up straight

“Antonio, don’t ever do that”

“I’m sorry”

She sighs and brings her hands up to her face, she must have a headache, she always gets those.

“What are we doing today?”

“I don’t know,” she says bringing her arms down

“When will you know?”

“Antonio, can you please go and bother someone else?”

“But why?”

“We have a whole group of people here that loves you, they would love to spend some time with you”

“But I want to be with you”

She sighs getting up, “come on”

“Where are we going?”

She doesn’t answer though, instead she grabs my hand and takes me to the big room

I look around to see abuela, my siblings, along with Mirabel and her sisters in a circle, everyone else is gone.

“When they finish talking, why don’t you go up to one of them and ask if they can play?”

“I want to stay with you”

“Well sometimes we have to do stuff we don’t want to do,” she says more in a harsh tone.

“Pepa,” abuela says coming up to us, “hi”

“Hi,” mamí’s voice is soft now

“What’s going on here?”

“Just trying to get Antonio settled in, that’s all”

“I see,” abuela looks down at me, “hi Antonio”

“Hi” I whisper

For some reason that makes her smile

Mamí nudges me, “you can speak louder than that”

I look down at the ground

“Antonio,” mamí is back using her harsh tone

“Pepa….” for some reason abuela is cautious when she speaks

“He needs to talk, I’m worried about him”

“He’s doing fine”

I look up to see that the others are watching us

I hear mamí take a deep breath before continuing, “I just want him to connect with something,” her voice cracks, “other than me”

“Pepa….” abuela sighs, “he’s really doing fine”

Mamí begins to cry

I jump a little when Mirabel touches my shoulder

“Come on,” she whispers

“I don’t want to leave,” I whisper back

“We’re not, we’re just stepping to the side”

I nod and she leads me to the others

We can still hear them talking though

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” mamí cries, “I was supposed to be happy”

“You’ve been through a lot, it’s going to take some time to adjust”

“I can’t even adjust in my own fucking home!”

My eyes widen, mamí rarely curses

“I know,” abuela cups her face

Mamí takes a step back

“Sorry I forgot,” abuela brings her arm down, “I should’ve asked first”

“Everything is so different,” mamí mumbles, “y’all don’t need me”

“Nonsense”

“Everyone was doing just fine without me”

“Is that what you really think? Pepa- your kids-“

“Who was raised by Félix? I don’t parent them, I don’t know much about them anymore”

“That may be true, but things can change”

“They’re practically all grown up, they’re living their own life now”

“Well, there were times when you needed me at their age”

“I knew you though!”

Abuela opens her mouth then closes it, its as if she didn’t know what to say.

“Julieta got to raise her daughters their whole lives, why couldn’t I have that?! Why did I have to leave?”

“Remember you didn’t have a choice, if it wasn’t for Alonzo, you would’ve stayed too”

“Don’t name him”

“What?”

“He doesn’t deserve a name”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand”

“A man like that doesn’t deserve a name, he doesn’t deserve acknowledgement. If you hadn’t change the fucking system, he would’ve been far away from here by now, or better yet, dead”

“I wish he was Pepa, I really do”

“Then why isn’t he yet?”

“Can we talk about this when the kids aren’t around?”

“No!” She shouts, “I’m tired of being left alone in the dark. For once just let me get the answer straight away”

“As of this morning, the officers has found him to be guilty,” she glances towards us then back at mamí, “come on I’ll explain the next step in the process as I make you a cup of tea”

Mamí nods, “okay”

Together they leave big room

As much as I want to, I know I shouldn’t follow them

I look around the circle to see that everyone is upset, especially my siblings.

Dolores nudges our brother, “want to take a walk?”

Camilo nods

Together they leave to go outside

That leaves four of us

Mirabel is the one to break the silence, “want to play a game?”

I shake my head no, “Mamí might need me”

For some reason the three sisters look at me surprise

“Uh,” Mirabel once again is the one to speak, “we can play a game in here then! That way if tía needs you, she can come get you”

“I don’t know…..”

“It’s okay to have fun,” Luisa chirps in, “I’m sure tía would want you to”

“It’s not the same without mamí, she is what makes the games super fun”

“Want to talk instead?” Mirabel asks

“About what?”

“Well what do you want to talk about?”

I shrug

“I remember this one time when I was six and I really didn’t want to go to school,” Isabela says, “tía helped me fake sick. She managed to convince mama not to check up on me, she knew I would blow it if she did. Tía and I spent the whole day together, it was a blast”

“Did your mama ever find out?”

“Years later, but that’s only because I told the story during family dinner. She was in disbelief haha”

“I remember whenever tía tucked me into bed, she would take the time and kiss every single one of my stuffed animals goodnight. The last kiss always went to me though,” Luisa beams

“Mamí did that with Dino!” I smile excited

Mirabel’s eyes grew wide, “You had a whole dinosaur?”

“Don’t worry, he was only pretend. I didn’t have him for long though. But when I did, mamí took extra care of him! She even left out a bowl for him so that way he can eat too!”

“Well that was nice of her”

“She’s great like that, she’s always coming up with the best games too! I like when we play superheroes, that game is funny. When I get hurt, she would spin me around really fast and then I would crash on the bed! We do that over and over again. We stop when mamí gets dizzy,” I giggle, “there was this one time when we were hunting for zombies and mamí ended up falling face down on the floor! She had to take a break after that.”

“Growing up, tía always made fun of papí for being clumsy, even though she was just as bad!” Isabela laughs

“She made fun of your papí?!”

“She was only teasing, even papí found it funny, though if she ever went to far she would always apologize”

“What else did my mamí do?”

Luisa and Isabela shared a look and a grin. They then took turns to tell me all kinds of stories of what mamí used to do before she ended up in room. I ended up chipping in every once in a while, they didn’t mind though, they liked hearing my stories of her. Mirabel didn’t really talk much during this, but she still listened.

“Antonio!” Mamí yells storming in the room

The four of us look up at her

I don’t know how long she was gone for, it doesn’t seem like much time has passed, but then again time always goes by fast when you’re having fun.

“Want to play the screaming game?”

I jumped up excitedly, “yeah!”

She grabs my hand and drags me out of the room. For some reason she takes a long deep breath before opening the doors to the outside.

Mamí stops when we see my siblings

Both their eyes are red and puffy, they must have been crying. I hope they’re okay.

“You guys want to play the screaming game with us?” Mamí asked

They exchange a look before looking back at us

“What’s that?” Camilo asks

“Antonio”

“It’s where you scream as loud as you possibly can so that the aliens can hear you. We’ve been trying to communicate with them for yearrrrrrrrs.” I explained the rules. They looked at me surprised, and I think I’ve figured out why! The others had the same reaction! I think it’s because I used my regular voice instead of my usual whisper. And if it’s not that, then I don’t know what it is.

“We should probably spread out a little so we don’t hurt each other’s ears”

We end up making a circle, it’s a bit big since we have to stand away from each other.

Mamí does the countdown and then we all scream! Dolores covers her ears as she does it, Camilo is like mamí in which both their arms are down and their hands in fists. My hands are around my mouth as I saw a person doing it in a picture in one of the books, it’s supposed to help you be louder, I’m not sure why the others aren’t doing that.

We all quiet down out of breath

I frown, “they still can’t hear us!”

“They will,” Mamí assures me, “and if not today, then another day”

I nod

We take another moment to catch our breath before we start screaming again. I know for a fact we’re louder this time, the aliens have to hear us!

“We need to try again, this is it, I know it!” I say when we were all trying to catch our breaths again

Both my siblings nod, mamí doesn’t, something’s wrong.

This time Camilo does the countdown

We all scream but this time is different

Mamí isn’t doing her usual scream, she’s louder, her eyes are tightly shut, I don’t think this is part of the game.

I stop screaming and so does my siblings

She’s still going at it

When her scream does start to quiet down a little, she breaks down sobbing.

Dolores catches her before she falls to the floor

“Mamí?”

“I’m sorry,” I hear her mumble through her cries, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Why is she sorry? She hasn’t done anything, it doesn’t make any sense

Dolores just holds on to her, she doesn’t say anything

Camilo glances at me before going over to mamí and wrapping his arms around her, so now both my siblings are hugging her.

I just stay where I am, I don’t know what to do. Mamí has never acted like this before, she was happier in room.

“Antonio,” Dolores sniffles, “you want to join us?”

“I’m scared”

“I know, but it will help”

“Who?”

“All of us”

Gaining up the courage, I go up to them and wrap my small arms around them. I don’t know why they are all crying, but I really hope this makes them feel better. Mamí seems to have cheered up a little already!

We stay like this for who knows how long, but I don’t mind, that’s what you do for family after all.

Chapter Text

“Mamí”

“Shush,” I quiet Antonio, who is sitting on my lap, before he can give us away, “two nines,” I set down two cards on the middle of the table

“Cheat!” Bruno calls out

“He got us!” Antonio laughs as I flip over the cards revealing a king and a queen.

“I’m a mind reader,” Bruno claims

I roll my eyes and grab the whole stack, luckily its not much due to Mama calling out Agustín a few turns ago. To be fair, Agustín is a terrible liar.

“One ten,” Isabela lays down a card, starting a new stack

“Cheat,” Dolores calls out

“You couldn’t have let me have this one thing?” Isabela ask taking back her card

“Not when it interferes with my chance of winning”

Luisa and Mirabel are out having bonding time, Camilo is out with friends, Félix is helping out with the construction site, and Julieta is well somewhere. So the rest of us are playing cards to pass the time. We’re playing one of my favorite games, cheat. I would be winning if I was playing on my own, but Antonio keeps giving us away, so we’re in last place. He’s lucky he’s cute, otherwise I would have dropped him after our first turn.

“One jack,” Dolores lays out a card

“One queen,” mama puts her card on top of the stack

I nudge Antonio

“Cheat!” He calls out

“We have all the queens,” I smile

“Should I bow down to you?” Mama jokes ‘

I let out a laugh. Bruno was about to go when my stomach growls.

He lowers his cards, “are you hungry?”

“I’m fine,” I assure him, let’s be real, everyone.

“You know, I’m a little hungry myself,” mama claims, though I’m pretty sure she’s lying. If we were playing the game, I would have called out cheat. “Want me to go in the kitchen and grab us something?”

I smile wanting to get away from all the attention, “it’s fine, I’ll do it.”

Antonio hops off my lap, “can I come with you?”

“Next time, I need you to stay here and make sure no one looks at our cards”

“Okay!”

I ruffle his hair before going into the kitchen, which is right beside us.

Fuck, what do I even eat anyways?

I stop when I see Julieta hovering over the stove, she’s holding up a metal spatula.

—————————————————

“I’m sorry,” I cry out for the thousandth time

A few days ago was the one year anniversary of man taking me, to celebrate he took off the chain connecting me to the bed. That gave me the ability to roam around the shed freely, making it the perfect time to escape. I had gotten the heaviest thing here, the lid on top of the toilet, and waited by the door for his arrival. I positioned myself in a way that I would be behind the door once opened. As soon as the door cracked, I took my shot. He stopped me before I could strike.

Everything that had happened next was a blur, he’s yelling, throwing shit, and hitting me nonstop. I tried to apologize but he won’t hear any of it. He takes the lid and leaves the shed, but only for a couple of minutes. When he came back, he came back with chains, two sets instead of one. Once again I apologized, once again he wouldn’t hear it. I tell him he can trust me, he says bullshit. I’m back to being a dog on a leash.

“Please,” I beg, “anything but that. I will lose Sunday treat, I will give you infinite blow jobs, just please let me walk around.”

“Get on the bed Pepa,” he demands

“I will lose clothes privileges, just please not that”

“You will lose all those things and more if you don’t get on the bed”

I gulp and do as told, “I’m sorry”

“I don’t want to hear it,” he ties my wrists to the frame, just like he did my first day here.

I close my eyes so he can punch in the code but he doesn’t

Instead I hear him going through the kitchen area

“You should know better,” he says

I open my eyes again, I can’t see exactly what he’s doing but he is hovering over the counter.

“You’re pathetic”

“I know”

Before I know it, he’s yelling in my face again, “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP”

I’m surprised he didn’t slap or spit on me.

He goes back to doing whatever he was doing, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Part of me wishes he would keep shouting, sure his yelling is terrifying, but the silence is so much worse. When he yells, he’s present, I can predict what will happen. When he’s silent, he doesn’t even talk to himself, I don’t know what to expect. I need to survive, but I don’t know how I am going to do that if he keeps this quiet game of his up.

I need to survive, not for me, but for my kids. That’s if I ever see them again. I lost this man’s trust, the chain around my ankle will never be taken off now. The chain that prevents me from escaping. Meaning that my only hope in leaving this hell hole is through rescue, and the possibility of that is slim. They stopped searching for me months ago, they probably think I’m dead. But if no one is searching for me, there’s going to be no rescue which means there’s no seeing my kids again making my survival not necessary.

I don’t want to die

Man’s hand going up my thigh is what snaps me out of my thoughts.

I try to keep my breathing study as he stares me down.

He brings his hand back down to my knee and holds down my leg

Strong like Luisa, I try to remind myself as a desperate attempt to stay calm. Getting worked up would only make him more angry, and who knows what he would do then.

He brings his other hand out from behind his back and reveals the dull, metal, butter knife. Without a word, he lays the butter knife flat on my thigh.

“AHHHHHHHH,” I scream and shut my eyes feeling the burning sensation on my skin.

————————————————————

The branding scar on my thigh serves as a reminder on what happens when I disobey. Most of the time it had stopped me from having an attitude or doing something risky, not all of the time though. If it always worked, I wouldn’t be here today.

“You’re safe now, no one can hurt you here,” Julieta, who’s now in front of me, assures me

I don’t know how long she’s been talking for, “I’m sorry”

She shakes her head, “no don’t be, you have nothing to apologize for.”

I just nod

“I know I haven’t been the best sister this past week, but I’m still here for you. Whatever you need, I got you”

Whatever I need, not whatever Antonio and I need, but whatever I need. I need for her to be okay with this, I need for her to just acknowledge Antonio’s presence. I know it’s hard for her, but does she not understand it’s hard for me too?

I flinch when there’s a knock on the door

Mama pokes her head in, “everything okay in here?”

Julieta continues to look at me

I take a deep breath before nodding

She knows I’m lying, “we finished the game, Dolores won. But if you still want to play, we still have some time before the committee stops by”

“Sounds good”

She gives us both a smile before going back to the table.

I turn around and am about to head out when I’m stopped by a voice.

“Pepa wait”

I throw my head over my shoulder to look at her

“I know you can never forgive me, I don’t expect you to, but just know I’m sorry”

“I’m sorry too,” I then went back to the table.

——————————————

We ended up playing two more rounds before the committee in charge of the case showed up.

I now have five pairs of eyes staring at me, god why did I agree to this.

“Let’s begin, shall we?” Señora Guzmán, who is sitting right across from me, begins.

I nod, “the sooner that he’s gone, the better”

She gives me a weird look, the others are glancing at her

I try to regulate my breathing to stop my heart from pounding out of my chest, “mama said you found him guilty”

“We did,” she assures me, “he’s not walking away free”

“So what’s with the odd expression?”

“He’s not leaving either”

“That man kept me in his shed for ten years and you’re just going to let him stay?”

“If he leaves, he’s just going to end up doing the same thing to another woman”

“So kill him”

“We don’t believe in punishment by death. Reason being, other than being against said violence, is well it’s an easy out, he’s not actually being punished.”

Strong like Luisa, I remind myself through my tears

“We’re going to build him a cell where he’s going to stay for the rest of his life. We were considering just using the shed, but he knows the ins and outs of that place, he’ll just escape. So we’re going to build him a permanent cell, one where he can’t leave. There is still going to be access to the outside, but that’s only because we need to bring him food. But even when the door is opened, he won’t be able to escape, he’ll still be in his cell. The only people who will have access to him are the ones bringing him his food and your family. We were wondering how spacious you wanted the area where the people will be”

They make good points, but god why did he have to stay here, “uh I guess not that big, you don’t need that much space to drop off food”

“True, but if a child is going to play there might as well be some space”

This confuses me, “huh?”

“Antonio, I figured a boy would like to see his father”

“Félix is his father”

“Are you saying that Félix took part in your captivity?”

“What?! No!” I shake my head, “a father is a man that loves and takes care of his child, that’s Félix”

She nods, “of course, but I’m speaking on terms of a biological relationship”

“That’s not a relationship”

She glances at some of the others, I can tell she’s trying to figure out what to say.

“Antonio is mine and Félix’s, no one else’s. Ma- Alonzo has never had a relationship with my son nor will he ever have one. If you ask him right now he couldn’t give you his full name or even his birthday. I spent Antonio’s whole life protecting him from Alonzo, and I will continue to do so until the day I die”

“And you did a good job, but I can’t help but wonder why you didn’t just ask him to take Antonio to your family after you gave birth?” Padre Flores states

“I- I protected him”

“He would have been far more protected with your family, he could have even had a normal childhood”

“I mean sure his life is different from other children, but he had me”

“Of course he did, but was that the best thing for him?”

I didn't talk for the rest of the conversation

They ended up agreeing for that one area to just be small.

————————————————

It’s been hours since I’ve talked with the committee.

It’s been hours of me replaying that conversation over and over again in my head. I've also been going over some of the time spent in room.

Am I man?

With Antonio I was just being selfish, I was depriving him from a good life.

Then again I had no choice

Or did I?

I stare down at the knife in my hands

I don’t deserve to live

This way my family gets to go back to the way they have been living without me there to bother them. Antonio deserves someone better, someone like Félix to take care of him.

“I love you Dolores, Camilo, and Antonio, I’ll be watching over you,” I whisper to myself

I use the knife and slit both my wrists

I drop the knife on the counter as I start to feel the effects

It isn’t long before I collapsed to the floor

The last thing I hear before everything going dark is the door creaking and Antonio yelling, “mamí!”

Chapter Text

I wake up to see Mamí isn’t next to me, serving as a painful reminder of what happened last night.

There was so much blood

Last night after I screamed, Julieta came running in, with Bruno close behind. She pushed me to the side so that way she could get to mamí. Félix was the one to grab me and take me away from her. I begged and begged for him to let me go, but he wouldn’t. He just kept on telling me that everything is going to be okay, that he’s got me. But who cares if he does?! All I want is mamí!

He held on to me as Luisa carried mamí out of the church. Mamí had these bandages wrapped around her wrists, they were supposed to be white.

“Hey,” Mirabel smiled at me

I look around to see that I am in big room, surrounded by the siblings and cousins. Everything was so much better in room, life was easier, mamí was happy and so was I. This big stupid world ruined it all.

When the big doors open, I quickly get off the cot and keep an eye out for the person I wanted to see the most. One by one, the adults came in, none of which were mamí. The big doors closed and she still hasn’t made an appearance. She broke her promise.

Félix gets in front of me and kneels down so that he’s my height, “before I explain where she is, your mamí wanted me to tell you something-“

I cover up my ears and scream on the top of my lungs, “LA LA LA LA I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT LA LA LA LA”

Félix is taken aback, he tries to bring my arms down but I won’t budge.

“I DON’T CARE WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY! SHE BROKE HER PROMISE! YOU DON’T BREAK PROMISES!”

Félix has tears in his eyes, “Antonio-“

“NO!” I scream and run out of the big room.

I ended up sitting at the table, I don’t know what to do, what am I supposed to do without mamí? This would have never happened in room. Now I’m stuck in a world with a bunch of strangers.

“Can I sit down?”

I don’t even bother to look up at Julieta, who cares about her?

She sits down, in the seat next to mine, anyways, “can we talk?”

I look up at her to see she’s not even looking at me, she’s staring downwards, “you don’t even like me”

She gives a slight nod, “no, I don’t, but maybe down the road I can”

“Why now?”

“Well for one I owe it to Pepa. But mostly because I wanted to talk to you, I know what it’s like to lose someone when they promised to stay”

“Man stoled mamí”

“I’m not talking about your mamí”

This confuses me

She goes on to explain, “I was very close with my siblings growing up, we had an unbreakable bond, or so I thought. Mi hermano Bruno started growing distant from us in our teens. I tried everything in my power to keep him close, but as years went by, we grew even further apart. Pepa and I started our own little families, and he got more rats. We still tried to make time for each other, though it didn’t always work out, it didn’t help that I was so focused on my work and my own family. He was always the talk of the town, never in a good way, and so because of that he mostly stayed home and isolated himself. There were things Pepa and I did to help him out, to show that he’s loved, but we could only do so much. Then your mamí disappeared,” she starts crying now, but despite that, she keeps talking, “when the guys came back that night with nothing, not a spec of evidence, I pulled Bruno to the side to talk with him, because I knew if I didn’t, he would have been next. We had a long talk, which mostly consisted of how much the family loved him and how much I needed him. I made him promise me that he would stay. I had already lost a sibling, I couldn’t lose another.”

“So what happened?”

“Something happened the next night, and because of that he left”

“Was he taken too?”

“No, he left on his own”

“So he broke his promise”

She nods, “but he did it to protect my daughter Mirabel, I know he wouldn’t have broken that promise otherwise”

“So how come mamí broke her promise?”

“You have to remember, your mamí has been through so much. She broke her promise so that way she could get help”

Once again I am confused, “I don’t understand”

“You know how when you get a scratch on your knee, there’s things you can do to help it heal?”

I nod

“Well it’s a bit like that, she’s hurting on the inside. She broke her promise so that way she could heal”

“She couldn’t have healed here?”

She shakes her head, “I don’t think so, no”

“Is man at this place too?”

“No! Man is far away from your mamí! Your mamí is staying in the house next to the hospital. Typically there’s three people, who aren’t capable of living on their own, staying there along side a doctor. It’s not just one doctor though, typically the doctors take turns. Every once in awhile, someone stays there temporarily, and this time it's your mamí”

“Temporarily meaning a short time”

She nods, “I don’t know when, but soon your mamí will come back and she will be better than she was before. Until then, you have an amazing family here who loves you and would do anything for you, I’m not quite there yet, but I’m going to work on it, you have my word,” for the first time since coming to the church, Julieta looks at me with kind eyes and not a look of disgust.

I know I probably shouldn’t but I believe her, maybe one day everything will be better.

Chapter Text

It’s been days since I last saw mamí

All my time has been spent at the church, the family takes turns taking care of me. I’ve learned a lot of things too, like how abuela is the best person to go to if you want the bad dreams to go away, and how Agustín is the best piano player out there, he’s even been teaching me how to play! Bruno is the best story teller, he makes bed time a lot more fun. Isabela is the best person, besides mamí, to have a conversation with, I especially like it when we talk about mamí. Dolores is the best coloring buddy. Luisa gives the best piggy back rides! And Mirabel and Camilo are the most fun to play with! Julieta and I don’t really talk, but she started smiling at me!

Everyone is gone now, so it’s only me and Félix

He is helping me put on my shoes, it’s the first time I’m going out since the trip to the hospital.

When he’s done, he rubs his eyes

“Are you okay?” I ask

He nods, “yeah I’m just tired, I couldn’t sleep last night”

“Oh”

“Yeah”

“Man has a lot of trouble sleeping too”

He stops, “oh?”

I nod, “when the bed moves, it squeaks. Whenever man was in room, the bed squeaked a lot. You knew it was him too cause he would grunt”

“Where were you when this happened?”

“In wardrobe, I was supposed to be asleep, and most of the time I was. After man leaves is when mamí would put me in bed with her.”

He nods, and decides to change the topic, “you ready to go?”

I nod and grab his hand

Together we leave and go to the construction site

There’s been a lot of progress since the last time I was here

People keep staring at me, I don’t like it. They talk in whispers too, they always mention the name Alonzo. But luckily for me, Félix has a gift! Cause all Félix has to do is stare them down, and then they stop! I wish I had a gift as cool as that!

I look over towards the entrance and my eyes grow wide. I tug at Félix’s pants leg and point, “look!”

He follows my line of sight, “oh it’s a-“

“Donkey! They’re real! They aren’t just in books!”

“Want to go meet it?”

“I don’t think he’ll like that”

“I don’t know, he looks like a nice donkey to me”

“Did you know that donkeys can hear each other from miles away?!” I gasped, “Dolores has the same gift as a donkey!”

Félix chuckles, “you sure do know a lot about them”

“My second favorite book is about land animals, it shows me all kinds of pictures and lists so many fun facts!”

“Let’s go meet an animal in real life”

I grip Félix’s hand as he brings me over to the man with the donkey

The man looks down at me and smile, “well hello there, I’m señor Lopez”

I use Félix’s arm to hide my face

Luckily, Félix does the talking for me, “is it okay if he pets your donkey?”

“Chestnut loves meeting new people! Have at it!”

Félix nudges me, “it’s okay”

I slowly lower my arms and take a step forward towards the animal. Chestnut sniffs my face and I giggle. I then raise my hand and pet his nose.

The two men talk for a few minutes as I hang out with Chestnut. Eventually the man has to go, so I have to say goodbye.

Félix and I then go back to boring land. Félix begins doing work on the house, he lets me help him but I’m not really that interested, I want to go back to playing with Chestnut.

I jump when someone taps my shoulder

“Tag, you’re it,” a girl with two braids states, and then runs off.

I don’t follow, this makes her upset, I know because she stopped running.

She then comes up to me again, “aren’t you going to catch me?”

I look at her confused

“Do you not know how to play tag?”

I shake my head no

She gives me a funny look, “I’ve never seen you before, what’s your name?”

“Antonio”

“Hi Antonio, I’m Cecilia! Did you come from the outside?”

“Huh?”

“You’re not from here, which means you’re from the outside”

“I guess”

“So what is it like?”

I shrug, “I don’t know”

She looks bored, “do you play games?”

“Yeah”

“Want to play tag? It’s my favorite”

“If you teach me to play!”

She then explains the rules to me, and it really does sound fun. After getting the okay from Félix, her and I play tag. Other kids ended up joining too, it’s so much fun!

“Tag, you’re it!” I tag Camilo and run off

He drops the shovel, “that’s no fair, I wasn’t ready!” He takes off running

I laugh

Mamí was right, having siblings is great! I should’ve never doubted her.

“Antonio,” Félix calls out, “it’s time to go”

I stop running, “Already?!”

“I didn’t think we would be here this long, I didn’t pack lunch! We’ll eat, and then if you want, we can come back!”

“Okay…..” I pout and walk up to him.

“Bye Antonio!” Cecilia yells

“I’ll be back, I promise!” I yell back

On the walk back to the church, I tell Félix all about my day! I know he’s listening cause he asks a bunch of questions.

He’s asking another question when I put my hand in my pocket and grow quiet.

“Antonio?”

I look down on the ground trying not to cry

We stop

He kneels down and faces me, “hey what’s wrong?”

I sniffle and pull out bad tooth, “I miss mamí”

“I know you do, I miss her too. Do you want to see her?”

I shake my head no, “I’m scared”

He nods understandingly, “well I’m sure she will love to see you, but if you aren’t ready that’s okay. How about after lunch, you draw her a picture? And this evening when I go to see her, I’ll drop it off for you”

I smile, “that’s a really good idea!”

He smiles back, “well I’m glad you think so, you ready?”

“Can you drop off another thing for me?”

He nods, “whatever you want”

I handed him bad tooth, “I had this when I needed it most, but I’m okay now, I don’t need it anymore. Right now mamí needs it, it will help her feel better.”

“I’ll be sure to give this to her,” he puts it in his pocket, “and I’ll tell her what you told me”

“One more thing”

“What’s that?”

“Can I hug you?”

He wraps his arms around me, so I’m taking that as a yes.

When I bring my arms up to return the hug, he gives me a small squeeze.

“I love you,” I whisper

The squeeze tightens, he then lowers his head and kisses my cheek, “I love you too”

Chapter Text

Pepa's POV

It’s been weeks since the attempt

Everyone has come for a visit at one point or another except for Antonio. I can’t blame him though, I broke our promise.

Last week I thought of a guaranteed plan for me to die. I wrote everyone in the family a letter, I gathered the supplies, and figured out a time to do it. But then Félix came to visit and brought over bad tooth. I knew right there and then I couldn’t go through with it. Who knew a rotten old tooth would be the thing to get me to live. Antonio made a sacrifice, he gave the thing he cherished most away and trusted someone to give it to me. It showed me that Antonio finally felt like he belonged in the family, but most of all it showed me that he didn’t give up on me. And now I get to see him today.

I have a small bag, filled with my stuff, waiting by my feet as I wait for Félix and him.

Chelsea, the woman I’ve been sharing a room with, walks in to get a cup of coffee.

“I don’t want to see you here again after this, I hate roommates. I’m a queen, I deserve to be treated as such.” She says, while pouring the drink in the cup.

“What about Ian and Leo?”

“That’s different, I don’t have to share a room with those two idiots.”

Before I can say a response, there’s a knock at the door.

“It was nice getting to know you, Josefa”

“You know you can just call me Pepa,” I point out as I get up from my seat.

“Doesn’t matter now, does it?” She leaves the room.

As soon as I opened the door, little arms are wrapped around my legs.

“Mamí!” Antonio just about shouts.

“Hey buddy!”

He lets go and I kneel down.

I grab his face and give him several kisses all over, causing him to giggle.

Once done, I look him up and down, “you’ve gotten so big!”

“I fear he’s going to grow taller than me!” Félix chirps in.

“Oh I am!” Antonio declares, “I am even going to be taller than mamí.”

I giggle, “we’ll see about that.”

“You two ready to go?” Félix smiled

“Ye-“ I got cut off by my son.

“Not yet. Mamí, I need to talk to you, it’s serious.”

“Oh?” I glance up at Félix who just shrugs.

“Alone”

“I need to get my bag anyways, so how about you come with me?”

“Okay”

I step aside and let him inside. After closing the door, I go over to the table and sit down in the chair. I then picked up Antonio and set him down on my lap, “what is this about?”

“I was talking with Dolores and Camilo when they told me that Félix was their papí. It got me thinking, who is my papí?”

My heart pace quickens, “well uh… do you know what a papí is?”

He nods, “a person who takes care of you, so like a mamí.”

“You’re right,” I nod, relaxing, “and since I’m your mamí, I can’t be your papí too. And besides, I am not a guy. But you do have papí.”

“Who?”

“Well, who are all the male figures in your life?”

“Camilo, Bruno, Agustín, and Félix.”

Thank god he didn’t say man, “We can rule out Camilo! Because he’s your brother, your brother can’t be your father too.”

“What about Bruno?”

“How does he take care of you?”

“He plays with me all of the time! And he tells me stories! Oh and he tells me all about his rat friends, they’re awesome!”

“So a papí can have fun with you like that, but they also need to help take care of you with all the boring stuff. Like for example, helping you get dressed. Does Bruno do anything like that?”

He shakes his head no

“So we got it narrowed down then, it’s between Agustín and Félix. How does Agustín take care of you?”

“He plays with me too! Sometimes he even makes me food! Though he always says “my daughters”, meaning he probably doesn’t have a son.”

“So then he can’t be your papí.”

Antonio pouts

“But don’t worry! We still have one more person left! How does Félix take care of you?”

“He tucks me into bed, he’s the best person for that job! He makes funny voices when he reads me bedtime stories. He plays with me too! All kinds of games! He also helps me tie my shoes since I can’t do that yet. Oh! And he helps me with learning through these things called work books!”

“So he does all the fun and boring stuff?”

He nods, “though he makes the boring stuff fun!”

“But he still does the boring stuff! Well kid, I think you got your answer!”

“Félix is my papí?”

“Do you want him to be?”

He thinks about it for a second and nods, “yeah, he’s the best person for the job. Bruno and Agustín can’t do what he does!”

I giggle, “they’re still your uncles.”

“So do I have to start calling Félix, papí now?”

“If you want to! Though if you’re not ready for that, you can still call him by his name.”

“I think I will for a while.”

“It’s whatever you want,” I bend down a little and kiss him on the cheek.

“You aren’t going to go away again, are you?”

I give him a small squeeze, “no, this time I am here to stay.”

“Good! I love you”

“I love you too,” I give him another kiss on the cheek. “Ready to go?”

“Mmhm,” he nods and slides off my lap.

I throw my bag over my shoulder and stand up. We then leave the house and walk over to Félix.

“Everything good?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I smiled. “Antonio, I need to talk to Félix, so how about you start walking? We’ll be right behind you.”

“Okay!” He starts heading towards the church.

Félix and I follow close behind.

I grin, “I know something you don’t know,” I speak softly so that way Antonio won’t hear.

“You’re secretly an alien?” Félix jokes.

“Don’t tell him I told you this, but…” I then tell him all about my conversation with Antonio, “he’s not quite ready to call you papí, but he does think of you as his papí”

Félix smiles ear to ear, “really?”

I nod, “so you can’t back out, otherwise you’ll make both a five and fifty year old cry.”

He looks around, “ah I don’t see a fifty year old here.”

“Just because you claim I don’t look fifty, doesn’t mean I’m not.”

“Agree to disagree.”

I roll my eyes, smiling.

The next couple of minutes are filled with silence.

Antonio is skipping, he’s been in Encanto for awhile now and yet he still looks around in amazement.

Which in turn makes me feel guilty

“You okay?” Félix asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I take a deep breath, trying not to cry, “I’m sorry that I left.”

“You didn’t have a choice.”

“I did the second time.”

“I know you regret hurting yourself, but do you regret staying at that place?”

I think about it for a moment before shaking my head, “no, I’m actually thankful for it, it helped me in a lot of ways.”

“So you didn’t have a choice, you needed that place to help you get better. Quite frankly, if you’re still not ready to come back with us, we can turn around and bring you back there.”

I stop and turn to look at him. With tears rolling down my cheeks, I say, “I love you.”

Félix himself gets teary, “I love you too.”

“I’m not ready to kiss or anything like that, but would you like to hold hands?”

“I would love that.”

We then hold hands for the rest of the walk.

When we go inside the church, I set my bag down on the floor in the sanctuary.

“Hey, you’re back!” Bruno, who was sitting on the stage, gets up and walks over to us. “Can I give you a hug?”

“You better,” I let go of Félix’s hand and wrap my arms around Bruno.

We exchanged a quick hug before letting go.

“It’s good to see you again!” Bruno smiled

“You visited me yesterday”

“Yes, but I haven’t seen you today!”

“Oh what a-“ I am once again cut off by Antonio, who is tugging on my dress.

“Mamí, I’m hungry.”

“Duty calls.”

Bruno didn’t seem to mind though, “talk to you later?”

“You bet.”

I pick up Antonio and we head towards the kitchen.

As soon as I stepped foot inside, Julieta, who is across the room, turns around to look at me, “Pepa”

For the few times Julieta came to visit me, while I was away at that place, we didn’t have much of a conversation. We would try, but it would always end up in an awkward silence.

Before I can even think about what to say, Antonio begs me to let him down.

As soon as his feet touch the ground, he runs over to my sister, “Julieta! Is it finally time to make cookies?”

“Well I did promise you,” she glances at him then back at me, “is that okay?”

“Uh…”

“Please mamí!” Antonio gives me puppy dog eyes, he seemed to have forgotten all about his hunger.

Since when do these two hang out with each other? “Of course!,” I say trying to sound enthusiastic, “that sounds fun!”

Julieta starts to gather up the ingredients while Antonio explains to me what I have missed.

“Julieta lets me help her make the food! She keeps saying we can make cookies, but we never do! Today is finally the day!”

I go back to being relaxed, “you must be very special then! Julieta doesn’t even let me help her in the kitchen!”

“Well he can cook,” she teased.

I roll my eyes, “oh haha.”

She then instructs Antonio on what to do.

I smile, watching from a distance.

Finally, the family is a family again.

“You’re doing such a good job,” Julieta complimented Antonio as they began placing the dough on the baking sheet.

I grow tense when I hear yelling coming from another room, I can’t hear what exactly is being said though.

Julieta and I lock eyes with each other.

“I’ll go check on it,” I offered, not wanting to interrupt her and Antonio’s bonding time.

“You sure?”

I nod, “yeah, you two have fun.”

“Okay… though remember, you can always leave if it gets too much for you.”

“I know,” I leave and head towards the sound. When I open the doors to the sanctuary, my eyes widen in surprise.

Bruno’s back is against the wall and his arms are up in the air as if he is surrendering. Félix is yelling in his face.

“You goddamn bastard!” Félix yells, “You’re a fucking coward!”

“What the hell is going on?!” I shout, walking up to them.

Félix doesn’t turn around, instead he stays eyeing Bruno down, “want to tell her or should I?”

“I’m sorry,” is all Bruno could mutter.

I’m more confused than ever.

Finally, Félix turns his head and looks at me, “he had a vision.”

I look at Bruno

“Back when the kids were younger, when we were all together,” Félix clarified. “He knew something was going to happen to you and he didn’t say anything!”

“What?”

Chapter Text

Julieta and I are in the kitchen, we’re in the middle of putting the dough on the cookie sheet.

I was getting some more dough when I noticed it was quiet, “the noise stopped.”

“Huh,” Julieta says, “I guess it did.”

“Is mamí coming back soon?” I start to roll the dough in my hands.

“I don’t know, she’s probably talking to Félix and whoever he’s with.”

“Why is Félix so mad?” I set the dough down on the cookie sheet.

“I don’t know”

I stopped helping, “Man yelled a lot too.”

Julieta gives me an odd look, she also stops with the cookies, “Antonio, Félix is nothing like man. Sometimes people need to yell and get their frustration out.”

“Why is he so frustrated?”

“I told you, I don’t know. Maybe we’ll find out soon. Let’s just get this done so that we can put these in the oven.”

We go back to doing just that

“You were very good at that,” Julieta compliments me as she puts the cookies in the oven.

“Thanks! I did it before in room, it’s how we celebrated the new year! Although we could only make two, and it wasn’t very good.”

“Oh, well cookies can be very hard to make sometimes. What else did you do there?”

“Lots of stuff!” I smiled, which quickly turned into a frown. “I miss it sometimes.”

“Wasn’t it pretty small?”

“Nah, it was huge! Plus, mamí was always there, she never left!”

“Oh,” Julieta isn’t looking at me anymore, instead she focuses on fidgeting with her fingers.

“But it was small in wardrobe.”

She sighs, “what did you do in wardrobe?”

“Sleep”

“Ah,” she nodded.

“When man came over.”

She stops fidgeting with her fingers and looks at me again.

“He slept in the bed with mamí first, although it took awhile for him to actually fall asleep. Then after he left, mamí would put me in the bed with her!”

Julieta bites her bottom lip and wiped her hands on her apron. “I have to use the restroom,” for some reason her voice is shaky. “Stay here alright? Don’t touch anything and stay away from the oven!” With that she leaves.

Well that was weird. Then again she’s an adult, grownups can be very weird at times.

It isn’t long before I’m bored. When is she coming back?

The yelling starts back up again, Félix must be very mad. I’m sure I can cheer him up though, I’m good at that type of stuff.

I leave the kitchen and follow the noise. I crack open one of the doors to the big room to see Bruno against the wall with Félix yelling at him. Mamí is to their side, she has her arms crossed, and she’s crying.

Uh oh

Is she going to leave again?

I get down on all fours and crawl inside. I manage to sneak up on stage and hide behind the piano, this way I can see and hear better.

“This is all your fault!” Félix yells. “You’re supposed to be her brother!”

“I’m sorry,” stated Bruno

“Félix,” mamí stopped crying, although she still has tears in her eyes.

Félix stops yelling and takes a step back.

Mamí gets closer to Bruno.

“Why Bruno?” Her voice cracked asking the question. “You better have a good excuse or I swear to god- ten years! Ten years were taken from me- from my kids! I missed all the milestones! Camilo’s first day of school, Dolores quinceanera, all the fricken birthdays and holidays! I had to be isolated from the world for ten years! I was starved, beaten, and just taken advantage of in every way, shape, and form! I had to live in a shed, Bruno! The first time my son ever stepped foot in the outside world was when he escaped! He’s five years old, Bruno! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“I’m sorry,” Bruno cried.

“Sorry isn’t good enough! Why Bruno?! I thought we were supposed to look out for one another! I don’t understand, did I do something to hurt you?”

“No!”

“Then what is it?!”

“I’m not as powerful as everyone thinks I am, or at least I wasn’t. My gift is only limited to what happens in Encanto. I can’t control exactly what I see! The very first vision that I had about it was with the whole family, minus you, around the table, crying. I spent the next year trying to figure out what that had meant. By the time I figured out you were going to go missing, it was too late. The day you were taken, sometime after you left the house, I had the sudden urge to do my ritual. So I did! With that I was able to have a vision and saw everyone searching for something or someone, and with all of the visions I have had with the family crying on various occasions, I was able to guess that it was probably you they were looking for. Afterwards, I ran downstairs searching for you, but you were gone. I did tell people then that we needed to be looking for you, but I lied about it being my first vision about it.”

“Uh- Wh- Why didn’t you try to look into my future? You could’ve figured it out sooner, couldn’t you?”

“I did try! I would be in the mindset to look into your future, and yet I never saw anything. I now know that I should’ve taken that as a hint. Pepa, everything that had happened to you, happened outside of my range.”

“So if man had knocked me out in the fields, instead of in the forest, you would’ve seen it?”

He nods, “possibly.”

“But you still saw something!” Félix argued. “You knew something was going to happen to her, that it was going to impact the whole family, and you didn’t say anything! We could’ve helped you put the pieces together, if you had come to us! All of this could’ve been prevented still!”

“Félix, stop”

“Are you seriously taking his side?!”

“He didn’t know! Sure he could’ve brought it all to the family, but no one in a million years would think that meant I was going to get kidnapped! Honestly with all he saw, before that last vision, we probably would have assumed that I would die. But even then we still didn’t know when or how. I would’ve still left casita that day! I would’ve still fallen for his trap! The only person who is at fault here is man- Alonzo!”

“We could’ve kept an extra eye on you!”

“I couldn’t have been watched 24/7! If you need to point fingers, point towards Alonzo. I am not blaming Bruno for this, and you shouldn’t either.”

“He had a vision, Pepa! Sure it was vague, but it was something! He knew something was going to happen to you and yet he still didn’t say anything!”

“Can’t you just try, Félix? Please try to forgive him, for me. He’s not at fault here, so don’t make him guilty for something that was out of his control. I’m not angry with him. Just like how I am not angry with you for what happened.”

Félix grows confused, “why would you be angry with me? I looked everywhere for you! I don’t have a gift and yet I still tried to find you!”

“Like I said I am not angry, nor do I blame you, but you worked with him! You talked to him on multiple occasions and yet you didn’t see through him, which I mean he’s very manipulative so it makes sense. You worked alongside him while I was kept in his shed!”

“I’ve been wracking my brain, trying to figure out if I missed something, a detail, or something. It kills me to know he was doing all that to you while still acting like nothing was wrong. But Bruno still should have said something! If I suspected something from Alonzo, I would have said something!”

“I know you would’ve, like I said, I don’t blame you. Heck Antonio is basically named after you! His middle name is Felipe, I didn’t want it to be exact so it’s that. I wouldn’t have done that if I was upset with you! But Félix, I don’t want to hold a grudge for the rest of my life. I lost ten, maybe even more, years of my life at that place! It’s about time I start living, don’t you think? I’m not going to be mad at Bruno for something that was basically out of his hands. If you can’t forgive him then fine, but don’t treat him like shit. Alonzo was the one who kept me captive and tortured me, not him!”

“He lost my respect, but I will-“ he is cut off by the big doors opening.

Julieta just about runs inside, her head looking around frantically, “Antonio!”

Uh oh

I get out from my hiding spot and make a run for it.

“Antonio!” I hear mamí calling after me.

I ran out of the big doors.

I then open the doors to the outside and run out.

Mamí keeps calling for me but I don’t care, I keep running. I want to be back in room.

“Antonio Felipe Madrigal!” She yells and grabs my arm, forcing me to stop. She kneels and makes me face her, “you cannot run out like that! What has gotten into you?!”

I start crying, I don’t say anything though.

“Why did you listen in, huh?! You know not to do that!”

“It was loud and you were crying, I didn’t want you to leave again!

She blinks.

“You promised! You and me in world together! When it gets hard, you have an off day, you aren’t supposed to leave!”

“Antonio, I’m sorry.” She isn’t yelling anymore.

“Don’t do it again!”

“I won’t. I promise, for real this time.”

“Are you better now?”

“Yeah, at least I’m starting to be. When Félix brought me bad tooth, I knew I could get better. You saved me, again. I know I’m not the best mamí, but I promise I’ll do better.”

I wrap my arms around her neck and we hug.

We stay like that for a minute before I pull away and ask, “can we go back to room?”

Mamí grows tense, “Antonio…”

“Just for a visit!”

“I don’t know the code.”

“1419!”

She looks at me surprised.

“Man said it out loud when we went to get you.”

She sighs, “just for a visit?”

I nod, “mmhm.”

“It has to be quick though, I don’t want to stay there for long.”

“Okay!”

She takes a deep breath and stands back up. She then grabs my hand and we begin walking.

Neither of us talk during the walk.

I enjoy just looking at all the different things in the world.

When we reach the shed, mamí doesn’t open the door right away, instead she takes the time to take several deep breaths.

“Just a quick visit,” she reminds me before putting in the code. She seemed a little surprised when it actually worked. She opened the door and let me inside.

I immediately put my arm up to my nose, “it stinks!”

Mamí stays beside the door to keep it open, “No one threw out the food, it’s gone bad.”

I look around, everything is all over the place, “why is room messy?”

“Police wanted to make sure we lived here. I guess this was their way of looking for evidence, I don’t know.”

I walk around, still confused, “is this it?”

“Mmhm.”

“It’s small.”

“It’s always been like this.”

This place really isn’t that big. But still something seems off. I then look back at mamí and realize the problem, “the door is opened.”

She looks at me confused, “what?”

“It can’t really be room if door is opened.”

“Do you want me to close it?”

I shake my head, “nah.” I then went back to exploring room. It’s hard to walk around with how messy it is, but I still do it. I noticed quite a few things, such as; the bed didn’t have any sheets, some papers had been ripped out from the books, both chairs were on its side on the floor, and that was only some of the mess.

“Antonio, can we go?” Mamí asked after another minute.

I go up to the bed and touch its frame, “Bye bed,” I then go on to do this for each thing in room. Finally I looked up at skylight, it’s very sunny out today, “bye skylight.” I bring my head down, “bye room.”

“Ready?”

“Mamí, say bye to room,” I tell her as I walk out.

She stays where she is at for a moment before whispering, “bye room.”

She then grabs my hand and we walk away.

When I was four, I didn’t even know much about the world. But now, mamí and I are going to live in it forever and ever, until we’re dead! Mamí and I have decided that because we don’t know what we like, we get to try everything! There’s so many things out here! And sometimes it’s scary, but that’s okay, because we still have each other. And best of all, Mamí stayed true to her promise, she never tried to leave again.