Chapter Text
Itachi was working on his homework when his little brother’s best friend, Naruto, walked into the dining room where he was studying. Ever since their mother’s started a fashion line together the blond goes home with him and his brother after school, and he is responsible for watching them. Normally the two seven-year-old kids run off as soon as they get back to play video games, so he was confused as to why Naruto was in front of him now.
“I'm going to marry you one day.”
“Excuse me,” Itachi was confused by the tiny blond now in his face.
She grabbed his face and moved it around before she nodded, “like I thought very handsome. So, we'll be getting married when we grow up.”
He was amused by her, “don't I have a say?”
“Of course, you have a say,” she said with a nod, her pigtails bobbing, “in the wedding planning that is, but make no mistake you will be the husband of our wedding.”
“We are too young to think about that.”
She hummed, “I said what I said.”
The blond kid walked away, and he huffed out a laugh and thought, what a brat, before he put it out of his mind and continued studying.
Later that night, his little brother came into his room and shoved him.
“You stupid brother,” he yelled and it was an arrow right to the heart, “you already have everything so you can't have my best friend too.”
He furrowed his brows, “I'm not sure what you mean little brother.”
“Naruto said she was going to marry you,” he said and gave him the stink eye, “don’t you have friends your own age? She is my only real friend.”
His heart squeezed at his brother’s voice. He’s also gone through the fake people trying to be friends with him because of who his family is.
“We aren’t getting married little brother,” he tried to comfort him, “she is still your best friend.”
He scoffed, “if Naruto says she is gonna do something, then it’s gonna happen.”
He was about to try saying something to him again only Sasuke held up his hand.
“Talk to the hand because the face doesn’t want to hear it,” he said and Itachi bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing, “I’m not talking to you until Naruto says you aren’t getting married.”
With that Sasuke glared and slammed the door closed as he left.
After a few days of Sasuke following through with his threat of not talking to him, and Naruto ignoring his gentle denial of their future marriage, he decided to get some help.
Itachi goes to his cousin for advice on how to talk to the child that he watches with his brother while their parents are out. Shisui is a few years older and hopefully has some good advice on how to gently let the girl down while being firm.
“She keeps saying she will marry me, and my brother is upset thinking that I'm taking away his best friend,” he explained, “he said he won’t talk to me until she gives up.”
“He won’t follow through with that,” he said with a wave of his hand, “he worships the ground you walk on.”
Itachi gave a deadpan look, “he hasn’t talked to me in a week.”
Shisui winced, “ah, very serious then. Well then for the girl you can always say you have a girlfriend. That’ll let her down easy yet firmly.”
“She’s going to see right through that if I don’t have proof and I don't have a girlfriend.”
“Get Izumi to play the part.”
Itachi thought it over and thought it could work and texted the girl. They made plans for her to come over and talk to Naruto on a day that Sasuke would be home late due to one of his extra curriculars.
A few days later Itachi opened the door surprised to see both Izumi and Shisui there.
“What are you doing here Shisui?”
He gave him a cheesy grin, “oh, I’m not going to miss out on this.”
Izumi smiled and gave a shrug, “plus, I needed a ride.”
He gave up and gestured for them to come in and follow him to where Naruto was hanging out while waiting for his brother to come home. They snuck a peek into the living room to see a tiny blond girl holding a fox plushy watching cartoons before they shoved him away from the room and shot accusing looks at the long-haired teen.
“Isn’t she the child model for your mom’s fashion company,” Izumi narrowed her eyes, “you want to break the heart of the cutest kid I've ever seen?”
“You are a monster,” Shisui hissed out.
“I'm telling you she is secretly a brat,” he defended, “can we go forward with our plan? I would like my younger brother to talk to me again.”
“How about we start by talking to her,” Izumi said calmly, “maybe she is just confused by what getting married means. It’s probably just her first crush and she will get over it soon.”
The three of them walk into the living room and she tilted her head and paused her show.
“Hi ‘Tachi. Hi ‘Tachi’s friends. Wanna sit down,” she gestured for them to join her, “my name is Naruto by the way.”
Shisui and Izumi sat on either sides of the kid and he moved a chair to sit in front of her.
“Hey Naruto. My name is Shisui, Itachi’s best friend, and this is Izumi.”
She perked up and shook their hands, “I’m so excited to meet my future husband’s friends.”
“And we are so excited to meet you,” Shisui said as he gave him a teasing grin.
Itachi knew him being there would only be trouble. Thankfully Izumi was focused on the objective.
“I heard that you were in love with Itachi,” she said with a gentle look on her face, “Itachi is a bit older than you. Are you sure that this isn’t just your first crush that will pass? You don’t want to promise marriage to someone that you will most likely fall out of your first kiddy crush with.”
Itachi was happy to have at least one of them on his side.
“Granny said I have beginners’ luck when she was teaching me cards and I figured it would transfer,” she explained, “‘Tachi is my first love and so we are gonna live happily ever after because of my beginners’ luck.”
Ok, he’ll admit that was very cute of her to say. Shisui and Izumi shot him a look that told him they thought she was cute too. He shot Izumi a look that reminded her of the plan.
She got the message and tried again, “like I said, you are so young so maybe it’s just a crush and when you meet more people then you will move on.”
Naruto shook her head, “no, it is true love, and we will be getting married when I grow up.”
“What do you think getting married means,” Izumi asked switching gears.
“It means wanting to take care of someone and wanting them to be happy,” she said confidently, and Shisui and Izumi were looking at her like she was the cutest thing in the world.
“And why did you decide Itachi is going to be your future husband.”
“Mom said that I should marry someone handsome, and dad said that was wrong and I should marry someone hard working and then I met Itachi who is both and I was like that is awesome.”
“I’m sorry to tell you that I’m unavailable,” Itachi cut in before the other two teens forget the original mission, “Izumi is my girlfriend, and so it would be best if you move on to someone closer to you in age.”
His friends shot him another glare and Naruto did something he wasn’t prepared for.
She took Izumi’s face in her tiny hands and inspected it before she nodded, “you are very pretty.”
“Aww,” Izumi looked very smitten with the girl, “thank you.”
The blond started a miniature interrogation, “are you smart?”
“Yes.”
“And nice?”
“I'd like to think so,” she answered, and the tiny blond just nodded her head.
“That's good. 'Tachi you gotta be super nice to her because mom and dad say you gotta be handsome and hardworking, but I want someone nice you know,” she then grabbed Izumi’s hand, “and sister 'Zumi, 'Tachi is my future husband so you gotta be very good to him. Be very kind to his heart because it will be mine one day and it would suck if it was all broken you know.”
Itachi’s mouth dropped slightly because that was very sweet.
Shisui and Izumi hugged her, and she said, “you are so damn cute. That is so sweet of you to say.”
“You should marry me instead of that guy. Ladies are out here breaking my heart left and right,” Shisui complained.
“Well, I can't get married until I'm thirty according to dad, but he and mom got married way before that so he might have gotten the number wrong, and maybe ‘Tachi and ‘Zumi get married and leave me heartbroken so if you are ok with a sad lady then we can fix each other’s broken hearts.”
Izumi started petting her hair, “oh sweet perfect child I'm willing to dump Itachi right now just so you don't know the meaning of heartbreak.”
“And I've seen both of your parents, you will most likely be the heartbreaker,” Shisui said comfortingly.
She held her arms out, “guys that's so nice. Can I have a hug?”
They both instantly hugged her again and over their shoulders she stuck out her tongue and mouths ‘give up’.
“Wait,” he suddenly said, putting a halt to their group hug as the three looked at him again, “are you sure that you actually like me? It seems a little unbelievable that a kid thinks this way.”
“Well yeah. It wasn't at first since you are Sasuke’s brother, and you shouldn't like your friend’s brother you know, but then I looked at you one day my heart really beat in my chest,” she grabbed her shirt over her heart to show how it beat in her chest.
“But you aren't jealous of Izumi?”
“Of course, I am. I'm so angry that I wanna cry,” she snapped out, and the looks the other two were shooting him looked like they wanted to beat him up, “but you were born before me and, and, and just look at her boobs.”
Shisui slapped his hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing and Izumi went bright red as Naruto pointed at her chest.
Naruto looked frustrated as she continued, “I mean even I wanna touch them. I'm still growing so I will have awesome boobs by the time we get married.”
“Who taught you to talk like this,” he practically snapped out the question.
“Jiraiya, I asked for his advice since he writes romance books,” she explained and he thought that was an exaggeration of porn but that’s not the point, “I told him I was having a hard time getting you to marry me and he said guys have many types and loli just might not be ‘Tachi’s type.”
He thinks his soul left his body and both Izumi and Shisui looked like they would pass out from holding back their laughter. He needs to let Aunt Kushina know that Naruto has been spending too much time with her godfather.
There was a sniff and the three teens looked at the blond who looked like she might cry, “so, so, you have to be good to my future husband. Just until I grow up.”
The girl then ran out of the room. After a moment he realized he just let a young girl, his brother’s best friend, the child of his parent’s best friends, run away crying and he was responsible for it. To try and salvage the situation he ran after her, but thankfully he didn't have to go far since she was waiting just outside of the room.
She calmly walked back in the room and grabbed her stuffed fox and just said, “be faster about chasing after me next time. I want a super kind and romantic love story. Now if you will excuse me, Sasuke should be home soon. We have prior video game plans and I need to go sweet talk the chef into giving us the good snacks.”
With that she walked out the door and left the three flabbergasted teens alone completely.
Itachi let out a defeated sigh, “I told you she was a brat.”
Shisui got up and placed his hand on his shoulder, “that child is a national treasure that needs to be protected at all costs.”
Izumi was just nodding, “Shisui is right. Did you see how cute she was walking back into the room to grab her toy? And that line? I swear my heart started pounding right out of my chest. If this is what being a fangirl feels like, then I misunderstood fangirls.”
Shisui was just nodding in agreement, “me too. I wanted to pinch those cheeks. I should have asked her to take a picture with me.”
“Do you think we should ask her now?”
Itachi’s jaw dropped as his so-called friends talk back and forth completely ignoring him.
Is this some new form of bullying?
“Get out.”
Later that night Sasuke came into his room, and he waited for his little brother to say something first.
“Naruto said that when you guys get married that she will be my younger sister and that she and I will be friends for life no matter what happens,” he said with his arms crossed, “so, we can start talking again.”
“I’d like that little brother.”
One problem solved. Now all he has to do is wait for Naruto to give up on the idea of them getting married. How long could that really take?