Actions

Work Header

As Long As You Love Me

Notes:

So...can we pretend that everything past 'Now and Forever' just doesn't exist? I know I pretty much ruined the series with the stories that followed and I apologize. I just don't have the heart to take them down.

I've had no desire to write or honestly to do anything. It's really hard to write characters that are happy when you're so unhappy. But enough about me. I don't know where this is going to do and I have no idea when I'll update but this is the best that I can think of at the moment.

This falls after 'Rise' but as usual it can stand on its own.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Loki? Why is one of your daggers in that display case?”

It had taken months but Loki finally lured you offworld. Your compromise was that you wanted to go somewhere that didn’t have magic. The request was practically impossible to fulfill and in the end you agreed to go to Midgard. True, there was still some magic in the realm but none so powerful that you were concerned.

Your visit began in Norway, a country that was steeped in Norse mythology and you found the tales about the supposed antics of the Odinson family highly amusing. The first time you and Loki visited the realm you laughed until you cried upon hearing some of the ridiculous tales the Migardians told. For hours you couldn’t look at Loki without a giggle slipping past your lips. Since then you were forbidden to bring up Loki and horses, at least when it came to discussing Midgard.

It was also winter and due to the town’s location the sun never truly rose. The sky was constantly dim which could have made everything feel oppressive but instead it made the lights from the buildings gleam even brighter.

After wandering around the town the two of you stopped at a local museum that boasted a large collection of ancient artifacts. Once more you were reminded of the brief lifespan of Midgarians. You were pretty sure you had shoes that were older than some of the pieces in the museum. As you wandered through the exhibits, impressed by the artistry and skill of the worksmiths of the past, a glint of metal caught your eye. There, laying among a dozen or so weapons was one of Loki’s daggers. It was old, likely one that he used when he was an adolescent but you recognized the metalwork of Asgard’s forges and the particular style of dagger he preferred. It was also easy to spot as the other weapons were so old and rusted that they looked as though they would fall apart with the slightest touch. However, even though it was a little worn down by age and use, Loki’s dagger still gleamed brightly.

The mage came to stand at your side and his eyebrow rose in surprise. “I owe Thor an apology.”

His response wasn’t what you were expecting. “What? Why?”

“I thought he stole it in retaliation.”

You turned to fully face your husband. “In retaliation for what?”

Loki pointedly did not meet your eyes, instead leaning closer to inspect the dagger. “I may or may not have started a rumor about him.”

“What rumor?”

“It may have involved a wedding dress.”

Your eyes widened and you shoved his shoulder lightly. “That was you? No wonder he told such tales about you and-” Green eyes suddenly met yours and your mouth snapped shut, trapping the remainder of the sentence behind your teeth.

Noticing your apparent interest, one of the museum’s curators made their way over to you. “I see that you’ve discovered one of the museum’s greatest mysteries.”

“Why is it a mystery?” you asked even though you were pretty sure you knew the answer.

“This dagger was found over 500 years ago among these ruins.” She turned and pointed to another display that was full of cracked and broken pottery including mugs, drinking horns and large vessels that you assumed once held some type of alcohol. At a glance it was easy to see that the display was full of the remnants of a festival or celebration. “As you can see the pottery and even the metalwork on the mugs is crumbling but this dagger is practically pristine.”

“Fascinating. Do you know what it’s made of?”

The young woman shook her head. “It’s been tested time and again but the results are inconclusive. There is a myth that perhaps it was a gift from one of the gods when they took human form and walked among the humans.”

“Or maybe it was left behind by one of the gods after a particularly raucous celebration,” said Loki and you could hear the smile in his voice.

The curator laughed at his words. “Who knows? I can’t really imagine Odin or Thor getting so caught up in a celebration that they would leave something so important behind.” She cocked her head to the side in thought. “Although I could see Loki dropping it while pulling one of his pranks.” Through the bond you could tell Loki was about to speak and you sharply nudged him with your elbow, his words morphing into a cough. The young woman shook her head to dismiss the thought. “I highly doubt it but it’s fun to imagine that the gods once walked among us.” A large group entered the museum and she turned towards them. “If you’ll excuse me? Please let me know if there is anything else you have questions about.”

You waited until she turned the corner before facing Loki who was trying, and failing, not to laugh. “What’s the truth? How did you lose it?”

“In my defense I was young and the Migardians were rather adept at brewing mead and making wine.”

“And?”

“I was in the process of winning a dagger throwing contest when another cask was opened and I got distracted. There may or may not have been a lovely maid or two involved as well.”

Shaking your head you couldn’t help but smile remembering Loki’s wild tales of his visits to Midgard in his youth. You were looking down at the dagger when you saw the edges glowing green. Countering his magic with your own, you turned to face him once more. “What are you doing? I thought we said no magic in front of the mortals?”

“But…”

“You haven’t had that dagger for centuries and didn’t even realize it was gone until today. Let the Midgardians have their mystery.”

Loki let out an exaggerated sigh. “Fine…” You kissed away his pout and took his hand as you wandered into another part of the museum.

~*~

The rest of the day was spent exploring the town while Loki reminisced about his past escapades on Midgard. It was easy to let his voice wash over you while walking hand and hand through the busy streets. As you ducked in and out of shops and stopped for a meal or a drink you felt yourself relaxing as dozens of memories of similar trips flowed over you. Aside from your “hunting” trips, you and Loki often visited realms just to get away from the chaos of your everyday lives. There were many nights spent watching the stars or getting lost in busy cities or simply enjoying the silence of a deserted realm and you hadn’t realized how much you missed those trips until now.

Apparently your mind had been wandering for some time and you snapped back to reality upon hearing your name. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

“I was asking if you were ready to head back.” Loki led you towards a darkened storefront to avoid the flow of foot traffic. His arm wrapped around your waist as his voice turned serious. “What’s weighing so heavily on your mind?”

Reaching up, you smoothed the furrows from his brow. “For once it was something good.”

“Oh?”

“I was remembering all of our travels together and all of the incredible places that we’ve visited.” You looped your arms around his neck. “I’m so thankful that I’ve been able to experience such wonders with you at my side.”

Loki’s arms tightened around you. “There’s nowhere else I would rather be.” Leaning closer he pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

“Of all of our adventures do you have a favorite?”

The mage cocked his head to the side as he shifted through his memories. “The starshower at the overlook is a particular favorite.”

You shook your head with a laugh. “I wonder why? Where else?”

“That tiny little village by the sea. I will never forget the look on your face the first time you saw the sea.” His fingers brushed the small of your back and you shivered. “It was in that moment I realized that I wanted to give you the world.”

“That world?”

“No, all of them.”

It was your turn to frown. “But…that was centuries ago. Have you…did you…did you have feelings for me then?”

“I didn’t have words at the time for what I felt, I just knew that I cared deeply for you and would do anything to see you smile the way that you did that day.” His lips gently brushed your forehead. “What about you? Do you have a favorite?”

There were so many memories that it was nearly impossible to choose just one. “I vividly remember visiting the realm where the entire planet was a library. We were there, what, two weeks?”

“Nearly a month. Odin finally had to send Huginn and Muninn to drag us out of there. Gods, that was a lifetime ago.”

“We should go back.”

A dark eyebrow rose in surprise. “Truly? There is a significant amount of magic on that realm, especially compared to Midgard.”

You nodded and shrugged innocently. “I could possibly be convinced to travel outside of the Nine.”

A grin stretched the mage’s lips as he stepped forward, crowding you back against the door. Quickly, while your brain was still functioning, you cast a light concealment charm. It wouldn’t hide you from view but it would cause those around you to pay the two of you no mind. You knew that look in your husband’s eyes and would rather not be caught making a scene.

“And what exactly would it take to convince you?” Loki’s fingers brushed your jaw then traveled downwards from your neck to your collarbone, his fingers barely touching your skin. It took every ounce of willpower not to arch towards him and your heavy coat was suddenly stifling.

Swallowing hard, you matched his grin. “You have an excellent imagination. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

 

The emerald eyes flashed. “Minx.” Loki’s arm tightened around your waist until there was no room left between you. Even through several layers of clothes you could feel the heat of his body seeping through. “Hmm…how shall I convince you?” He lowered his head until you could feel his breath against your skin. “I could buy you the finest jewels and silks the Nine Realms have to offer.” He tugged the collar of your coat to the side and you sucked in a breath when his lips found the skin of your neck.

“I already have jewels and silks.” You were proud of how steady your voice was.

“Hmm…well the Nine Realms are full of treasures yet to be discovered. Scrolls, statues, carvings…” With each word he pressed a kiss to your neck, slowly moving closer and closer to the soft spot beneath your ear. Your hands fisted the material of his coat and you cursed to yourself, knowing better than to tease the trickster. “What about books? I seem to remember a certain tome that served as a catalyst between us.” Before you could reply his lips found the soft spot beneath your ear. Against your will a soft moan slipped past your lips before you could stop it and you felt Loki’s chuckle against your skin. “Is that a yes? I would scour the realms for every book or scrap of paper that caught your eye.” He nipped at your skin and you pressed your lips together, doing your best to keep any sounds from escaping. “I would build you a library more immense than Asgard’s if it meant you would agree to travel with me once more.” His free hand sank into your hair to hold you in place as he worked a mark to the surface of your neck.

Your head thunked back against the door as fire raced through your veins. By the time Loki raised his head you were trembling and breathing as though you had just sprinted a mile. Without looking you knew there was a smug grin on your husband’s face and you took a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself. “Gods, you’re such a menace.”

Loki gently grasped your chin and tilted your head up until you could meet his eyes. The dark pupils were blown wide and only a thin ring of green remained. “Have I convinced you yet?”

You were more than thoroughly convinced but you couldn’t help but tease him. This easy back and forth between the two of you had been missing for so long and though you knew you would likely regret it later you decided to push him further. Slipping your fingers beneath the hem of his coat, you grasped his belt loops and sharply pulled him closer. It was his turn to suck in a breath and you cocked your head to the side, pretending to be deep in thought. “Books are nice but for me to travel beyond the Nine? Hmm…I don’t know…”

It took Loki all of ten seconds to figure out your game and the smile he gave you was down right wicked. Taking advantage of his position, he shoved his thigh between yours as he leaned down to press a chaste kiss against the darkening mark on your neck. “It seems as though material items aren’t enough…you drive a hard bargain, my love.” He fell silent for several moments as he tugged the zipper of your coat and sweater down to gain access to your collarbone. You did your best to stay still and quiet as left marks on the sensitive skin. Finally satisfied with his work, he lifted his head once more. “Would you like me to beg? To get on my knees and plead for you to join me as we discover new realms?” Despite your best efforts you shuddered and felt his smile against your skin. “Does that idea appeal to you? The sight of me on my knees before you, completely at your mercy? Ready to fulfill any request and to worship you as the princess, no, as the queen that you are.”

Despite your best efforts Loki’s words caused something in you to break and you reached up, sinking your fingers into his hair before dragging him down into a kiss. The smile disappeared from the mage's lips as you nipped at the bottom one sharply. As you took advantage of his gasp to tease his tongue with your own you felt the zipper of your coat being drawn downwards. A moment later you arched as one of Loki’s hands delved beneath your coat and sweater to find the warm skin of your back. His hands were almost too cold but the contrast felt so good that you couldn’t decide whether to press back into his touch or towards the thigh that was trapped between your own.

The two of you fought for dominance of the kiss, neither one willing to back down. Finally Loki cheated and ran his nails down the bare skin of your back causing you to break the kiss. Taking advantage of your situation, Loki lowered his mouth to your neck while tugging one of your legs around his waist.

Somehow you convinced a dozen of your brain cells to start functioning and shook your head in an attempt to clear it. “Loki?”

“Yes, love?”

“We’re in public.”

You felt more than heard the chuckle against your skin. “I’m aware. You have a concealment spell cast, don’t you?”

“A weak one.” Gently you tugged his head up until you could meet his eyes. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were swollen and it took every ounce of willpower you possessed not to sit back and allow him to ravish you. “Take me home.”

He gave you a teasing grin. “I thought you said no magic in front of the mortals?”

You peered over his shoulder. The meager sunlight had faded and the foot traffic was sparse. “No one is around and they won’t see your magic through my spell.” You rolled your hips and his hands tightened around you to hold you still. “I know you want to go home just as badly as I do.” Loki was still and for a moment you thought he was going to ignore your request. Finally you felt the buzz of his magic and had just enough time to close your eyes as the world twisted around you.

When you blinked your eyes open you were standing in the darkened bedroom of the rented house. Loki let you go long enough to catch your balance but his entire body was tense and you knew that it was just a matter of time before his resolve snapped. Stepping closer, you drew the zipper of his leather coat downwards and he shrugged off the heavy garment. Before he could move you placed a hand on his chest. “I believe you mentioned something about being on your knees?” Loki paused for a second before lunging towards you, pinning you against the bedroom door.

Soon the only thing you could focus on was Loki and it didn’t take long before you were thoroughly convinced to do whatever the mage asked of you.

~*~

Later that evening Loki joined you in the kitchen and once all of your appetites were satisfied he lured you outside. One of the amenities of the rented house was something that the Midgardians called a ‘hot tub’. It reminded you of the hot springs on various realms you had visited but the strong streams, or jets, of water were a unique addition and you were looking forward to soaking your sore muscles. Aside from figuring out how to turn it on and the various settings, you and Loki had yet to try it out.

Wrapping a robe around your form you hurried across the deck, taking care to avoid any patches of snow or ice. Loki was already settled into one corner, the steam making his hair curl. You felt his eyes on you as you shed your robe and climbed into the water. The last time the two of you visited Midgard you had been introduced to what the mortals called a bathing or swimsuit. While yours was not nearly as risque as some styles you had seen, the two bits of fabric didn’t leave much to the imagination.

The water was almost too hot but it felt like bliss as you settled into the opposite corner as Loki. Your head fell back with a sigh as the hot water and the pressure from the jets soothed your overtaxed muscles.

“Enjoying yourself, love?”

You nodded without opening your eyes. “We need one of these at home.”

Loki laughed. “I doubt the homeowners would appreciate it if we absconded with their property.”

“Menace. I didn’t say we should take it but this feels lovely.”

A comfortable silence fell between you and you were nearly drifting off when you felt Loki move. The mage settled next to you and you leaned into his embrace when his arm circled your shoulders. His thumb brushed against a fading bruise on your neck and you blinked your eyes open. “What are you up to, trickster?”

“There’s a reason that I wanted to bring you to this particular town.”

“Aside from the mythology?”

Loki scowled then pinched your side. “Yes, aside from that.” His gaze turned skyward. “Look.”

Tilting your head back, your eyes widened. The sky was painted in a wash of deep greens and blues. Every now and then a streak of brilliant purple or pink would join the waves of colors. “I thought you said there wasn’t any magic on Midgard? Nothing this strong at least.”

“It’s not magic. It has to do with the sun and the atmosphere surrounding the planet. There’s a book about the phenomena on one of the shelves in the living room.”

“It’s beautiful.”

The mage brushed a kiss to your bare shoulder. “It reminds me of the star shower.”

A fond grin touched your lips. “It’s beautiful in its own way but I don’t think anything can compare to the star shower. Of course I might just be biased.” After a beat you turned to face Loki. “Is that why you brought me here? To celebrate with something similar to the night you proposed? But our anniversary is more than six months away.” You and Loki were married at the beginning of autumn and this year’s anniversary was particularly significant as it marked ten years of marriage. You couldn’t believe an entire decade had passed since the two of you stood before all of Asgard and were bonded together.

Loki grasped your left hand and ran his thumb over your wedding ring. “Believe me, that is one date I will never forget.” He gazed up at the sky for several long moments before turning back towards you. “I thought that you would enjoy the sight, that it would remind you of a happier time.”

He fell silent and turned his head away but you grasped his chin gently and drew his face towards your own. “That’s not all, is it?”

Green eyes searched yours for a long time before the mage shook his head. “No. There is another reason but…”

He tried to look away but you wouldn’t let him. “Talk to me, my love.”

A deep sigh slipped past his lips. “It’s selfish but I’ve missed this, I’ve missed traveling with you. I miss seeing your eyes light up when you encounter something new or appreciating your sincerity when attempting to grasp a new custom no matter how absurd it may seem.” His arms tightened around you as he drew you closer. “I…I was hoping that I could prove to you that you’re safe. I know that I failed you in the past but I swear that I will never let anything happen to you ever again.”

Despite the heat of the water Loki was shaking and you smoothed your hands down his sides and arms. With all of your recent struggles you often forgot how much Loki was affected as well. “Shhh…it’s okay. I’m okay. I’m right here.” For several long minutes you simply held each other until his trembling stopped. Pulling back, you met the bright eyes that were swirling with emotions. “I have never once doubted your ability to keep me safe and to be honest…I’ve missed this too. You’re always so excited to show me something new or to get lost on a realm we’ve never visited before. I can’t promise that I’ll be as adventurous or daring as before but I’d love to travel the realms with you once more.”

“Really?”

“Really.” You ran a finger down his arm playfully. “Plus, you did an excellent job of convincing me earlier.”

Loki gripped your hip and dragged you closer until you were almost sitting in his lap. “I do recall you saying ‘yes’ quite often.”

Shaking your head, you splashed water in his direction. “Menace. I wasn’t the only one that-” Your words were cut off by Loki’s lips covering yours. You smiled into the kiss then settled against him after the two of you broke apart. Turning your gaze upwards, you allowed the flowing colors of the sky to wash over you and for the first time in a long time you felt at peace.

Loki must have felt you relax and pressed a kiss to your temple. “I love you, my princess.”

“I love you too, my prince. Thank you for bringing me here.”

“You’re welcome, my love. I can’t wait to see what other wonders the realms have in store for us.”

Chapter 2

Notes:

1. Yes, it's that black suit
2. I know nothing about Italy, don't @ me
3. It's about time this story earned its rating, yes - there will be more smexy time
4. I have no idea how time works between the realms but it's my AU so there
5. Please tell me where they should visit next, I have no inspiration
6. Let me know if you want this series to continue. I know I pretty much ruined it but I don't want to waste my time if no one is interested, I'm exhausted enough as it is

Chapter Text

The next stop on your visit to Midgard was Italy. You’d fallen in love with the country during your last visit, staying nearly a month before Loki finally lured you to your next destination.

As soon as you arrived you were enraptured once more. You and Loki spent long days in the countryside then moved on to bustling cities where you allowed yourself to be swept up in the rush of locals and tourists.

After a week or so of bouncing around the county you settled into a small city and rented a flat with a lovely view. You’d spent over a week here during your last visit and often you and Loki went your separate ways, not worrying about being apart due to the bond.

Today you were walking hand in hand when you stopped in front of a shop. In the window there were several suits and next door there was a tailor. “Why are we stopping here?” asked Loki.

You glanced at your watch, it felt odd on your wrist but Midgardians had an obsession with time so it was necessary. “You have an appointment in five minutes.”

A dark eyebrow rose. “Oh? Whatever for?”

“We have plans tonight.”

“We do? What’s the occasion?”

Stepping close, you wrapped a hand around the back of his neck. “Do I need a reason to show off my gorgeous husband?”

The green eyes darkened. “Minx.”

Loki leaned down for a kiss but you kept it short. “Go on. I’ll meet you back at the flat later.” Giving you one last puzzled look the mage stepped into the shop.

~*~

The rest of the day was spent dodging Loki’s questions about your plans and by the time night fell your stomach twisted with excitement and nervousness. You didn’t know why you were nervous, it wasn’t as though you and Loki hadn’t been out countless times in the past but tonight something felt different. Shaking your head, you slipped into the bedroom to get ready.

Walking out of the bedroom you stopped short. Loki was standing in front of the window, gazing down upon the darkened city streets but that wasn’t the view you were interested in. The mage was dressed in all black, the suit impeccably tailored to show off his lean form. Sensing your presence he turned and your breath caught, he looked even more handsome than you originally thought. The dark material made his eyes gleam and once he realized that you were staring a mischievous grin tugged at his lips.

“You’re going to make me feel self-conscious, love.”

You shook your head with a laugh. “Sorry but you look incredible.” Stepping forward you lightly grasped the lapels of his jacket and ran your fingers over the soft material.

Loki’s hands went to your hips, pulling you closer. “You’ve seen me in much finer garments over the years.”

“Yes but seeing you in Midgardian clothing…there’s just something different about it. You look even more handsome than usual.”

The mage’s grin widened. “Truly? Then I will have to don it more often.”

It was your turn to grin. “That might not be such a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“You just convinced me to go traveling with you again. If you constantly dress like this the only view we’ll have is from our bedchambers.”

The hands on your hips flexed. “Minx.” Before you could respond Loki was leaning down to catch your lips in a deep kiss. You grasped the lapels of his jacket tighter as your head swam and your knees weakened. When the need for air finally broke you apart you seriously considered ignoring your plans and dragging Loki towards the nearest flat surface.

Taking a step back you released your grip on Loki and smoothed out the nearly invisible wrinkles your fingers left behind. “As tempted as I am to keep you here, we do have plans.”

“So you’ve said. Do I at least get a hint?”

You shook your head. “What’s the fun in that?”

Before you could take another step Loki caught your hand in his own. “You were kind enough to compliment me on my attire but darling, you are a vision.” He guided you into a slow spin, his eyes sweeping across your form and a flush touched your cheeks. Even after so many years together you still were affected by him.

Your outfit was simple. You wore an off-white dress with long sleeves that stopped at the knee. It was incredibly soft against your skin and clung to your every curve. It was paired with black boots and the only accessories you wore were two diamond combs holding your hair into a simple twist.

“A dress? I’m surprised, pet.”

“Don’t get used to it. Apparently it’s common for Midgardians to wear dresses for special occasions.”

“I’m assuming that this is a special occasion?”

“Something like that.” Before you could turn Loki’s hand tightened on your wrist.

“You look stunning but I believe something is missing.” Loki twisted the fingers of his free hand and a moment later a necklace was hanging from them. It was a simple silver chain with a brilliant heart-shaped emerald at its center.

“Loki, you didn’t have to…”

“Hush,” said the mage before stepping behind you. You felt the necklace rest against your chest and shuddered as a soft kiss was pressed to your neck. Grasping your shoulders, Loki turned you to face him then looked you up and down. “Perfect.”

After glancing at the clock you nodded towards the front door. “Could you please grab my coat? We need to get going.”

Upon opening the small closet Loki’s eyebrows rose in surprise when he retrieved your coat. While shopping you ducked into a shop to get out of the cold wind and immediately fell in love with a coat hanging on the far wall. It was a full length coat in a dark forest green with a hood that was deep enough to keep the wind or rain from your face without obscuring your vision. The material was sturdy yet soft and it was easy to tell that the garment was handmade. The shop owner insisted that you try it on and it was like the coat was made for you. Instead of wearing it out of the shop you asked the owner to pack it up so you could surprise Loki later.

From the look on the mage’s face it was obvious that it worked.

“You’re just full of surprises today, aren’t you?” Loki helped you into the coat then stepped closer, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “I love seeing you in my colors, knowing that you are mine.”

“I know what you love even more than seeing me in your colors.”

A dark eyebrow rose. “And what would that be?”

“Seeing them strewn on the floor.” Before your words could sink in you slipped past Loki, trying and failing to hold back your laughter at his expression. He mumbled something about teasing and revenge before grabbing his coat and joining you. Though the cold didn’t bother him, he still wore a long black overcoat and you couldn’t deny that he cut a striking figure. Taking his arm you began to guide him through the busy streets.

Your destination wasn’t far, about a twenty minute walk, and the two of you spent the time in a comfortable silence. Turning down a side street, you ducked into a small alley then an even smaller one and you could feel Loki’s confusion through the bond. That confusion quickly shifted into surprise and delight when you turned a final corner and came to stand before a worn door. Before you could reach for the doorknob the door was opening and the silhouette of a robust woman filled the space.

A smile split her face and she rattled off a greeting in such heavily accented Italian that even with your AllSpeak it still took a moment for you to translate her words. After placing kisses on your cheeks then repeating the process with Loki she ushered the two of you inside. “Come, come…get out of the cold.” The space was small but not cramped, it had once been a house but was converted into a restaurant generations ago. The dining room was tiny, only holding five tables, and it was all but impossible to get a reservation. Well, it was all but impossible unless you happened to be a charming princess with a gorgeous husband that constantly rained praise upon the owner and his wife.

The woman’s name was Gianna and you’d met her by accident the last time you and Loki had visited Midgard. She was at the market with too many baskets to carry when Loki swooped in like the gentleman that he was and escorted her back to the restaurant. In gratitude she insisted that he come by that evening for dinner and when you arrived on his arm she gave him an approving look then fawned over both of you while bringing course after course of some of the best food you’ve ever eaten from the kitchen. Afterwards the two of you spent hours chatting with her and her husband, Luca who was also the chef, long after the final patrons left for the day.

After taking your coats she turned to lead you into the dining room when something caught her eye. She grasped your left hand and her mouth opened in surprise. “What is this? A ring? Engaged or married?”

“Married,” replied Loki and you could hear the smile in his voice.

“How long?”

Time moved differently between the realms and ten years in Asgard was just a year or so on Midgard. The last time you saw Gianna was about thirteen or fourteen years ago but to her only about three years had passed. There was no way that you could say that you had been married for nearly a decade so you improvised.

You glanced at Loki and he squeezed your hip. “A year ago in the fall. He proposed not long after we visited you last time.”

“Wonderful! Beautiful!” She pulled the two of you into a crushing hug before rattling something off to Luca so rapidly that neither you nor Loki could translate it. “Sit, sit! This calls for a celebration!” Though you and Loki protested you both knew that there was no changing Gianna’s mind once it was made up.

After the boisterous woman disappeared into the kitchen you glanced across the table where Loki was laughing and shaking his head. “Of all of the realms I’ve visited I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone quite like her.”

“Likewise, she truly is unique.”

Sitting back in his seat, Loki glanced around the small dining room. “How did you manage to get us a table? Even with our magic combined I doubt we could sway her mind.”

“Simple. I stopped by and told her that I wanted to surprise you with a night out. She practically swooned when she heard you were back in town.”

Loki chuckled then reached across the table to take your hand. “Thank you, my love. This is a fantastic surprise.”

You took a sip of wine and sent him a secretive smile. “Who said this was your only surprise?” Before Loki could respond Gianna emerged from the kitchen, her arms laden with platters overflowing with meats and cheeses and a dozen other items that you vaguely recognized.

It was a good thing that you both had a healthy appetite because as soon as one plate was cleared another would take its place. The food was incredible and at one point you looked up from your pasta to see Loki doing his best to hide his laughter. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

“No.” He leaned closer to ensure that no one else could hear him. “In all of my years I’ve never been jealous of a plate of pasta.” You frowned in confusion. “It usually takes some time before I can get you to make that face and to hear those sounds coming from your mouth.”

With a scowl you twirled your fork in the pasta before holding the utensil towards Loki. The moment that the mage took a bite his eyes closed and a low groan slipped past his lips.

“You were saying?”

He held his hands up in defeat. “Point taken.”

After more courses than you could count Gianna and Luca finally had mercy on the two of you and for a moment you thought that she was going to cry when you declined dessert. In the end you agreed to take it home with you and she brought a box from the back that was so large that it could contain an entire cake. She insisted that the meal was taken care of since it was a celebration of your marriage but as soon as her back was turned Loki slipped a sizable stack of bills into the pocket of her apron.

It was far past closing time and after nearly a quarter of an hour of goodbyes you and Loki stepped into the darkened street with promises to come and visit before you left Italy. Taking his arm once more you led him through the twisting side streets. As soon as the two of you were alone Loki waved his hand and sent the box of desserts back to the flat.

“Thank you again, love. Dinner was divine.”

“You’re welcome. I hope you’re not too tired though.” Stopping at a cross street you turned right which led towards the town square, away from the rented flat.

“What are you up to, pet?”

“You’ll see.”

Despite the late hour the streets grew busier and busier the closer you got to the square. Turning a corner you felt Loki’s surprise seep through the bond. The town square had been transformed; it was filled with vendors, entertainers and musicians whose music filled the cold air. While preparing for your visit you learned about the city’s famous night markets. At first you immediately threw the idea away, such a celebration reminded you too much of the harvest festival on Alfheim, but after seeing how excited Loki was to be traveling with you again you changed your mind. You refused to allow the ghosts of your past to ruin your future.

Loki had similar thoughts and tore his eyes away from the market to meet your own. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I know that I’m safe, that you’ll keep me safe.” You grasped his hands. “I don’t want to be afraid forever. I want to do more than just survive, I want to live.”

“I’ve known hundreds of soldiers and none of them are as brave or as strong as you.” He leaned down to kiss you gently. “Shall we?” You nodded and took his arm as the two of you were swept up in the sea of people.

Even though there wasn’t any magic you were still entranced. The artwork and crafts sold by the vendors were stunning and Loki never complained even though you stopped at every booth to examine their wares. At first he kept his arm wrapped tightly around your waist but eventually relaxed enough to be content with simply holding your hand as you led him through the crowd.

Since you were young you knew that Loki had what the humans called a ‘sweet tooth’ and when you came to a stall selling hot chocolate his eyes lit up. Knowing better than to ask him to share, you ordered two cups and turned this way and that in an attempt to find a seat away from the bustling crowd. There was a low wall not far from the festivities and the two of you perched upon the stone while sipping the sweet treat. While your husband’s attention was on his dessert you let your eyes roam over the patrons of the market. There were people of all ages, even children though they seemed to be fighting the urge to sleep due to the late hour. As you watched your chest ached and you rubbed absently at it, hating that you had lost so much time while fighting your own demons.

Shaking your head to dispel the dark thoughts, you turned towards Loki. The mage finished his drink with a contented sign and placed the mug to the side. There was a smudge of chocolate below his lower lip and you nudged his shoulder to get his attention. “You missed a spot.”

“Where?” He swiped ineffectually at his chin and you laughed.

“Here.” Using your thumb you brushed the chocolate away but before you could pull back the mage grasped your wrist. Holding your eyes he sucked your thumb into his mouth, his tongue flicking against the digit. Your body suddenly flushed with heat that had nothing to do with the drink in your hand. His hand released your wrist then traveled up your arm before cupping the back of your neck. You knew what was coming but you still sucked in a breath when his lips met yours. He tasted like chocolate and you chased the taste, sucking the flavor from his tongue. A groan that you felt more than heard rumbled through his chest as he nipped sharply at your lower lip. Moving closer you sank your fingers into his hair and traded slow kisses until your head swam. Finally the two of you broke apart, your face flushed with something other than the cold.

Loki gently grasped your chin in his fingers, slowly turning your head to one side then the other. “You are so beautiful. Have I told you that lately?”

“Just once or twice.”

The weight of his gaze was too intense and you focused on the crowd milling about the square. Suddenly the musicians began to play once more, this time even louder, and pairs began to fill the makeshift dance floor. “Dance with me.”

It took a minute for your words to sink in and Loki shook his head to clear it. “What?”

“Dance with me.” Hopping down from your perch, you held a hand out towards him. For a moment you thought he would refuse but after a beat he took your hand and guided you towards the other dancers.

A new song was just beginning when you arrived and though you didn’t know the steps it was apparent that neither did anyone else. You threw your head back and laughed as the two of you did your best to avoid the other couples, most of them flushed not only from the dancing but from the copious amount of wine they had consumed. The music was so fast that you could barely keep up but Loki’s grip was firm, spinning you this way and that. When the song reached its end you were out of breath not only from the dance but from your laughter.

The next song was much slower and Loki pulled you close, tucking a lock of hair that had escaped behind your ear. “I’ve missed this.”

His words were so low that you had to strain to hear them. “Missed what? Dancing?”

“Yes, I’ve missed holding you in my arms as we danced but I’ve also missed your smile and your laugh. Seeing you happy again…it’s…” His words trailed off and he shook his head, refusing to meet your eyes.

Guilt flooded your body and you swallowed hard. Cupping Loki’s cheek you turned his head towards you but he still would not lift his gaze from the ground. “Look at me…please.” It took several long moments but eventually his eyes met yours. The emerald depths were swirling with emotion and it took every ounce of your willpower not to cry. “It’s okay, I’m here and I’m safe. I might not always be happy and I’m trying to fix that but please know that you make me happy.” He was quiet but you held his eyes. “You…you believe me when I say that, right?”

The mage nodded but instead of replying he pulled you into a crushing hug. You returned the embrace and did your best to chase away the dark thoughts that threatened to take hold. Eventually Loki released you and you ignored that he swiped at his eyes. Giving you a smile he dipped into a courtly bow. “May I have this dance?”

With a laugh you took his hand and curtsied. “It would be my honor, your highness.”

For nearly an hour the two of you danced, sometimes joining in with the locals, until the musicians and the market began to wind down. You and Loki stood to the side watching the few remaining revelers and the merchants beginning to pack away their remaining wares. The mage leaned against a wall and you stood in front of him, relaxing when his arms wrapped around you. Even through the layers of your coats you could feel the warmth of his body and snuggled deeper into his embrace.

Loki chuckled and tightened his grip. “What are you doing, pet?”

“You’re warm.”

“I’m a frost giant, I’m never warm.”

“Liar. Some nights it’s like sleeping next to a furnace.”

“Are you cold?”

Your new coat was doing a fine job of keeping the chill at bay but even through the thick material the skin of your legs was growing cold. “A bit. See? This is why I never wear dresses, they’re so impractical.”

Your husband leaned down until you could feel his warm breath on your cheek. “That’s fair but you do look so fetching in them.” A soft kiss was pressed to the skin below your ear and you shuddered.

You felt the buzz of Loki’s magic and grasped his wrist. “If you vanish my coat you will be sleeping on the floor for the remainder of this trip.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Though you were still suspicious you released his wrist and closed your eyes as another kiss was pressed to your neck. Warm and safe in Loki’s embrace you allowed yourself to drift. You were about to suggest that you head back when you felt a hand smooth down your side below your dress.

Your eyes flew open and before you could turn Loki’s arms tightened around you. “What are you doing?” you hissed.

Without seeing him you knew there was a grin on Loki’s face. “You said you were cold,” replied the mage as innocently as possible.

“Yes. I was going to suggest that go ho…” your words trailed off as another hand joined the first, caressing the skin of your sides and back.

“God of Mischief, love. You should have been more specific; now be a good girl and stand still, you wouldn’t want to draw any necessary attention to us, would you?”

Swallowing hard, you cast a quick charm. It wouldn’t completely hide you from view, even though you were standing to the side it would be noticeable if you suddenly disappeared. Instead it darkened the shadows around you and encouraged those around you to not look too closely. “You are a menace.”

“But you love me anyway.” The hands went to your hips and you felt Loki’s surprise through the bond which was followed by a rush of desire. “Have you been bare beneath this dress the entire night, pet?”

“No, I have on a bra.”

The hand slipped over the curve of your hip towards your thigh. “That’s not what I was referring to.”

You tried to sound innocent but Loki chose that moment to nip sharply at your neck and you bit your lip to prevent any sounds from slipping through. “I didn’t want the lines to show through the dress.” Part of you knew that you should be heading back to the flat instead of hiding in the shadows like a couple of adolescents but you also knew Loki. You’d been teasing and taunting him all day, it was a surprise that he stayed composed for this long. There was a reason that you were so proficient in concealment charms, you had a husband with a thin amount of patience and self control issues.

Not that you were complaining.

The hands slid upward to cup your breasts and you did your best to stay still. You wanted to moan and arch into the touch but whenever you moved or made too much noise Loki stopped. Dexterous fingers teased your nipples until they were hard peaks that ached, craving the heat of Loki’s mouth and talented tongue. Against your will you whimpered and Loki shushed you.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“Can we go back to the flat? Please?”

“Oh, we’ll go back. I have every intention of laying you down and tasting every inch of your skin. By the time I’m finished with you the only thing you will remember is my name, if you have enough coherence to form words that is.”

“You sound rather confident for someone who is using their magic instead of their hands.”

The moment the words left your lips you knew you were in trouble. Loki growled and lowered his head to your neck, working a mark to the surface while the phantom hands roamed across your body. Against your will you arched as one hand dragged its nails down your back while the other teased at the crease between your hip and thigh. You were shaking by the time that Loki raised his head, a dark purple bruise beginning to stain your skin.

“Pet, do you know how difficult it has been to keep my hands to myself all night? At dinner I wanted to slip my fingers beneath the edge of your skirt, teasing that spot on your thigh that always makes your breath grow short.” On cue deft fingers grazed your skin and you couldn’t stop the shiver that the touch caused. “You looked so beautiful in the candlelight that I could barely contain myself.” A slight pressure on your knee urged you to take half a step to the side and you were rewarded with the feeling of fingers trailing up the inside of your thigh. “After dinner I wanted nothing more than to press you against the wall in that dark alley and kiss the taste of wine from your lips.”

“W-why didn’t you?”

“Because if I started I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop.” Loki shifted in order to give the other side of your neck similar attention. “Especially if I slid my hand beneath this lovely dress to find you bare beneath it.” It took every ounce of self control you possessed not to moan as two fingers brushed your folds before moving to slowly circle your clit. “Mmm…so wet already. Do you think you could stay quiet as I slid my fingers deep inside?” A gasp left your lips as the phantom fingers pressed into your body, curling slightly while their thumb teased your clit. “What if I wouldn’t let you cast a spell? Would you be able to stay quiet as I made you come?” The fingers began to move and your head fell back against Loki’s shoulder. “You know how much I love to watch you let go so it wouldn’t be once. No, I’d make you come again and again until your legs wouldn’t hold you up any longer.”

“Gods, Loki…” Between his words and the phantom touch between your legs you knew it was only a matter of time before your control snapped.

The mage chuckled and pressed a kiss to your neck as the fingers sped up. “We would still go to the night market, your thighs slick as you tried to pretend that the flush on your cheeks was from the wine and not from my touch.” Your fingers tightened where they gripped his arm as you tried to hold back. “Your concealment charms are powerful but would they still work as well in a realm without magic? Would you be able to fully conceal us if I sat you down on that low wall and sank to my knees, making you come again on my tongue?”

“Please…” you whispered but you weren’t sure what you were pleading for.

“Would the spell hold if I bent you over that wall and shoved your beautiful coat and dress out of the way so I could fuck you? Could you keep control while I did my best to make you lose it?” Your body began to shake and you did your best to control your breathing but the dam within you was about to burst. “Do you think the townspeople would realize that your thighs were still slick from my seed as we danced? Would they know that only moments ago you were crying out as you came all over my cock?”

His words and touch were too much. Turning as much as possible, you met the darkened green eyes. “Kiss me.” You were shocked you could form words at this point.

A crooked grin stretched his lips. “Why?” he teased.

“Because I’m going to scream.”

A moment later the mage lowered his head and caught your lips in a deep kiss. His arms tightened around you as the ghostly fingers curved just right and the band inside of you snapped. Loki swallowed your scream as you arched and rolled your hips as you came hard. The mage moaned into the kiss, showing that he was more affected than he seemed. Gradually the fingers inside of you slowed, bringing you down gently, before eventually vanishing.

Breaking the kiss, you gasped for air as though you had been running a marathon. As soon as you were convinced that your legs would hold your weight you spun in Loki’s embrace before grabbing the lapels of his coat and dragging him into a deep kiss. His hands clawed at your hips in an attempt to pull you closer as you bit his bottom lip so hard you nearly broke the skin.

Pulling back, you stared into the slightly wild green eyes. He may have had the upper hand earlier but you could tell that his patience had reached its end. Sinking your fingers into his hair you tugged on it slightly and watched the remainder of the green in his eyes disappear. Holding his gaze, your hand slipped between the two of you, finding its way beneath his coat where he was hard and straining against the fine material of his pants. Your hand covered the thick ridge and slowly began to stroke him, holding his gaze as you felt his hips begin to rock into your touch.

“Loki?”

“Yes, pet?” His voice was rough and a new rush of heat flooded your body.

“Take me home.”

Chapter 3

Notes:

First of all, the encouraging, beautiful comments you left on the last chapter made me cry. That's why I couldn't respond with much more than 'thank you'. I'll say it again; thank you for taking the time to read this story and convincing me not to archive the past few works. I don't have words for how much that means to me.

Moving on...

I was planning on a shortish chapter of smush (smut and mush). Then my muse got drunk and decided that wouldn't do. So here you go, nearly 7,000 words of filthy smut with a few emotions thrown in because it wouldn't be a story by Onyx without drama.

You know the drill, do the things.

Chapter Text

Although you were thoroughly enjoying your time on Midgard you noticed that the trip was taking its toll on Loki. After everything that had happened over the past few years it was understandable that he would be anxious but it wasn’t until recently that you noticed how tired he was. Whenever the two of you were in public he was constantly on high alert, checking the surroundings and making sure that you were within sight at all times. Even though he would never admit it, the constant stress was not only stealing his enjoyment of the places you visited but it was driving him to the point of exhaustion. More than once you asked if he wanted to go home but he turned the question around, asking you if you wanted to leave. After so much time hiding from the world it was wonderful to travel again but as each day passed you felt worse and worse. The dark circles under his eyes were hard to miss and the muscles of his back and shoulders didn’t even relax in sleep.

He was surprised when you stated that you wanted to go somewhere secluded instead of a busy city but quickly found a comfortable cabin that was surrounded by nothing but forest for miles. You didn’t even know what country you were in but you didn’t care. The isolation seemed to ease his mind and it was nice to wake up in the morning with nothing to do. Over the past few days you had gone on hikes in the area, finding hidden gems such as a waterfall that turned gold at sunset or what seemed to be a perfect staircase formed naturally that led to a breathtaking overlook. The activity that you enjoyed the most was sitting on the porch swing in relative silence while watching the various wildlife that wandered by.

This morning when you woke the sky was overcast and it took you a few moments to get your bearings without the warm sunlight spilling into the room. You woke before Loki and slipped out of the bedroom. After staring out of the large picture window for several minutes an idea popped into your head. Loki was always taking care of you but today you were going to take care of him.

An hour later you walked into the bedroom carrying a tray laden with a hearty breakfast. The mage was just beginning to stir and his eyes widened in surprise when you sat the tray on the bed, using your magic to hold it steady.

“What’s this?”

“Breakfast.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “I can see that but we rarely have breakfast in bed. What’s the occasion?”

“You.” A dark eyebrow rose. “You are always taking care of me and I thought it was time that I returned the favor.”

As you watched a dozen emotions flashed across Loki’s face and you knew he wanted to say that he was happy to take care of you and that it was never a burden but in the end he simply smiled. “Thank you, love.”

“You’re welcome. Now go on and eat, your eggs are getting cold.”

After breakfast Loki stated that he wasn’t ready to get up yet so the two of you slid beneath the blankets and you pulled him close, his head resting on your chest. You carded your fingers through his hair as you told stories from your youth. Loki knew all of the tales but you felt him begin to relax and eventually his slow breaths told you that he had fallen asleep. You were more than content to simply lay with him and dozed off and on for the next couple of hours. It was nearly noon before the two of you finally rose and you could tell that the extra rest had done Loki well. His eyes were brighter and his smile wider as you discussed what to do for the remainder of the day.

The sky only grew darker and by noon a gentle rain began to fall. Soon the gentle rain morphed into a powerful thunderstorm with booming peals of thunder and brilliant lightning slashing through the sky. For most of the afternoon you read while Loki watched the ridiculous Midgardian invention, television. It was too loud and chaotic for you but you were married to the literal god of chaos and Loki loved it. Often you would hear his laughter floating in from the other room and you couldn’t help but smile. You had missed his laughter as much as he had missed yours.

As evening fell you slipped into the kitchen to prepare dinner. Loki insisted on helping but you shooed him away. He compromised by sitting at the breakfast bar with a glass of wine to keep you company as you cooked. The meal was simple but Loki didn’t seem to mind, linking his fingers with yours and pressing a kiss to your knuckles to show his appreciation. After dinner he caught your waist and kissed you deeply, thanking you for a lovely day.

You grinned and teased the hair at the nape of his neck. “Who said the day was over?”

The brilliant eyes sparkled with interest. “What are you up to, pet?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Loki took a large step forward and your back suddenly met the wall. Crowding you, he pressed a kiss to your jaw. “Are you sure I can’t convince you to give me a hint?”

Though you were tempted to let him pin you against the wall and have his way with you, you had plans. “Anticipation is part of the fun. Now go and relax.”

Turning back to the table you began to gather the dishes from dinner and carried them towards the kitchen. You jumped as a loud peal of thunder made the windows rattle and nearly dropped the stack of dishes you were carrying. Immediately Loki was there, steadying you and placing a reassuring hand on your back. You gave him a sheepish smile. “Thanks.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help?”

Shaking your head you carefully placed the dishes on the counter near the sink. “I told you, I want you to relax. The books on the shelves in the living room look interesting or maybe that horrid program you like with the man screaming at the kitchen staff will be playing.”

Loki grinned. “You have to admit that it’s entertaining.”

Rolling your eyes you ushered him out of the kitchen. “Go on, you menace. I’ll join you shortly.”

It didn’t take you long to do the dishes but instead of joining Loki you quietly slipped into the bedroom. The cabin you currently occupied had a large sunken bathtub with the same type of jets as the hot tub you’d fallen in love with in Norway. It wasn’t as large but there was enough room for Loki to stretch out comfortably. After starting the water you poured in a sweet smelling oil from one of the many vials in your bag and a soap that caused millions of bubbles to gather on the surface of the water. The oil was one often used after a strenuous training session to soothe sore muscles and encourage the body to relax. Flipping off the harsh overhead light you waved your hand and several witchlights flared to life. The room was bathed in a warm glow and after hitting the button that started the jets you made your way into the bedroom.

After stacking the pillows on a nearby chair you pulled a large blanket from the closet and spread it across the bed. Digging through your bag you grabbed another small bottle of oil and placed it on the bedside table before twisting your fingers. A dozen more witchlights flared to life as you doused the artificial lights. Looking around the space you nodded in satisfaction. It wasn’t as opulent as Loki’s chambers on Asgard or your bedroom at your seaside home but it would do.

As quietly as possible you closed the bedroom door behind you and headed towards the living room. To your surprise Loki wasn’t on the couch in front of the television, he was sitting in a large wingback chair near the window. A book was propped open on his lap but his focus was outside, watching as the storm raged. After a few moments he felt your presence and a smile touched his lips when he saw you standing in the doorway.

“There you are. Surely there weren’t that many dishes?”

You laughed softly. “No but there were other things I needed to attend to.”

Loki looked intrigued. “Such as?”

“I told you earlier that your day of relaxation wasn’t over yet.”

“What are you up to, pet?”

You crossed your arms and leaned against the doorway. “Why don’t you come over here and find out?”

Loki’s eyes flashed and before you knew it he was in front of you, one hand on the doorframe while the other gripped your hip possessively. “You know I don’t like secrets, love.”

“For the god of lies you’re doing a terrible job. And it’s not a secret, it’s a surprise.” You gently grasped the front of his shirt and took a step backwards. “Come on.”

The mage allowed you to guide him down the hall and his eyes darkened with every step that you took towards the bedroom. Feeling him tense and you quickly grabbed the doorknob before he could pin you against the door. You knew that look in his eye all too well and knew that all of your preparations would be in vain if he got his hands on you.

Loki reached for you as you slipped into the bedroom then paused, taking in the sight. Standing to the side you were suddenly nervous as your husband slowly walked through the dimly lit room, his eyebrow arching in surprise when he glanced into the bathroom and saw the warm glow accompanied by the low rumble of the jets in the bathtub. Turning, he said your name; confusion and surprise touching his words.

“What is all of this?”

You twisted your hands together nervously. “I know how stressed and exhausted you’ve been lately. Everywhere we go you’re on high alert, making sure I’m safe.” Holding up a hand, you halted his words. “Trust me, I appreciate it. I know that no matter what you’ll make sure that I’m safe. But…” You chewed on your lower lip and pointedly avoided his eyes. “But I want you to relax and enjoy this trip too. I just thought I’d give you a day where you didn’t have to stress or worry or think about what to do next. It’s nothing compared to what you do for me and…and…” Your words trailed off and suddenly the soft carpet was incredibly interesting.

Through the bond you could feel Loki’s emotions swirling wildly and knew that you had said too much. After your admission he’d likely want to sit and talk with you instead of enjoying the evening. Before you could turn away two warm hands were gently grasping your arms. “Whatever you’re thinking you’re wrong.” That was not what you were expecting and your head snapped up. The look on your husband’s face was one that still made your heart flutter in excitement. “Today has been wonderful. Thank you for taking such good care of me.”

Swallowing hard you shoved away the dark thoughts that were threatening to bubble to the surface and reached up to tuck a lock of hair behind Loki’s ear. His arms shifted to wrap around your waist and you stood on your toes to press a gentle kiss to his lips. “The day isn’t over yet.”

Feeling the mood shift and lighten Loki nodded towards the bathroom. “Will you be joining me?” To his surprise you shook your head and though he would deny it he definitely pouted. “Why not?”

“Because I want you to relax. We both know that if I climb into that tub with you what happens next will be less than relaxing.”

The mage’s arms tightened, pulling you close until there was no room left between you. He lowered his head until he could press a kiss to your neck. “True but we’ll both be very, very relaxed after.”

Tipping your head to the side you enjoyed the feel of his lips on your skin for a moment before gathering every bit of self control you could cling to and taking a step back. “Go on before the water gets cold.”

For a moment you thought he was going to protest then he sighed and nodded. You were preparing to move away but Loki held your eyes as his hands went to the buttons of his shirt. With each inch of skin that appeared your heartbeat began to speed up. You’d seen Loki in various states of undress hundreds of times but something in his gaze kept you rooted to the spot. The brilliant green eyes never left yours as he shrugged the material to the ground before reaching for his belt. You swallowed hard as the leather slipped through the loops then hit the floor with an almost inaudible ‘thump’. At your side your hands turned into fists as he unfastened then worked his pants past his narrow hips. He was already half hard just from your teasing and heat suddenly flooded your body. After a long moment Loki gave you a wicked grin then turned and walked into the bathroom.

Closing your eyes you counted to then, then to fifty then to fifty again before you finally convinced yourself not to follow your husband into the bathroom. You could feel his amusement through the bond and after making a rude gesture towards the door you stomped your way towards the kitchen, you needed a drink.

To your surprise Loki stayed in the bath for the better part of an hour. Part of you wondered if he would stay for only a few minutes to appease you but as the minutes ticked by you began to relax as well. You were halfway through a rather scandalous novel you’d found on the bookshelf when the bathroom door opened. Loki’s hair was damp and curled from the steam, a drop or two of water slowly dripping down his chest. A towel was slung around his hips and you could tell from his posture that much of the stress he was carrying had dissipated.

“Feel better?” You asked while uncurling from the chair. Loki nodded but didn’t reply as he took in your outfit. It was rather simple and common on the realm. A shirt with straps so thin you wondered how they were holding the top up and a pair of shorts that truly lived up to their name, the hem stopping a couple of inches below your backside. Both pieces were gray, extremely soft and clung to your every curve. Midgardian clothing was confusing but you had to admit that they were comfortable. “Excellent. Now go and lay down on your stomach.”

A dark eyebrow rose. “Why?”

“Just do as you’re told.”

“But what’s the fun in that?”

You laughed and shook your head. “Please?”

“Very well. With or without the towel?”

“I’ve never known you to be modest but you choose.” After a beat Loki tossed the towel to the side and stretched out on the bed, settling his head onto his crossed arms. Grabbing the bottle from the nightstand you settled on your knees next to him on the bed. Soon the sweet scent of the oil filled the room and though he knew what was coming Loki still sighed when your hands smoothed across his back.

Starting at his neck you brushed his hair to the side as you worked your thumbs into his skin. You went slowly, not moving downwards until you felt every muscle relax. When your hands found his shoulders he tried to hide a wince and failed. You knew this was where he carried most of his stress, his muscles always tensed in preparation for a fight. Soft violet light flared against his skin as you used your magic along with a steady touch to gently ease the tense muscles. It took longer than expected but eventually you felt him relax. Repeating the process you worked patiently until his upper body all but sank into the bed.

Moving lower you worked the knots out on each side of his spine but the angle was off. Swinging one leg over him, you straddled his hips. Immediately his hips rocked up to meet you but you shoved them back down. “Behave.”

His chuckle was muffled by his arms but you could feel it beneath your hands. “Sorry, love,” The laughter stopped abruptly when you pressed your thumb into a stubborn knot and you murmured an apology while letting your magic sink into his skin.

Time slipped away as you continued your massage. Soon his skin began to glow in the dim light from the oil and though he was relaxed he’d not so subtly began to rock his hips into the bedding each time you shifted above him. Eventually every inch of his back from head to toe had been massaged and after placing the bottle back on the nightstand you urged him to roll over. You were still straddling his thighs and gave him a lopsided grin as he blinked his eyes to adjust to the light.

“I thought you were supposed to be relaxing.” His cock was hard and resting against his stomach, the head flushed a deep red.

Loki shrugged. “A beautiful woman was straddling me while giving me a massage, who can blame me?”

Without breaking his gaze you wrapped your fingers around him and gave him a slow stroke. Your hand was still slick from the oil and his head tipped back as a low groan left his lips. “It looks like I didn’t do a very good job helping you relax, allow me to remedy that.”

“Darling, you…”

“Hush and let me take care of you.”

You began a steady rhythm, not too fast, watching his face to gauge his reactions. His hands grasped the blankets at his side as his eyes fluttered closed, losing himself in your touch. Adding a twist at the top of each stroke his hips began to rock and you encouraged the movement, letting his body tell you exactly what it needed. The moans and sighs that left his lips were beginning to affect you and you rolled your hips ineffectually as there was nothing for you to grind against. Shoving your arousal to the side you forced yourself to focus on your husband.

You knew he could feel your arousal through the bond and you could feel his as well, letting the emotions blend together in a heady mix. “Gods, love…” His bottom lip was swollen from biting down on it and his cheeks were flushed as he climbed closer and closer towards his release. Suddenly his hand covered yours, urging you into a faster rhythm. A groan rumbled through his chest and his back arched as you matched the desired pace. “I’m…” You knew he was close and his hand fell away to grasp the blanket beneath him.

Without slowing your pace you reached up and gently ran your fingers along the sensitive skin on his ribs. He shuddered hard, your name falling from your lips. You did it again, this time dragging your nails down the tender skin and with a shout his control snapped. He arched as he came hard, his release splashing against his chest and stomach. You slowed your strokes and eventually stopped when the final shudder wracked his frame.

Though you were so aroused you were nearly shaking, you forced yourself to move; carefully laying down at Loki’s side and making sure you weren’t touching him. Between the bond and watching him let go you feared you’d fall apart the moment he touched you.

Eventually Loki caught his breath and with a wave of his hand his chest and stomach were clean. Rolling to his side he reached for you and frowned when you flinched away. “What’s wrong?”

You swallowed hard. “I’m fine, just give me a moment.”

Once more Loki reached for you and once more you shifted away. “Why won’t you let me touch you?”

“Because today is for you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“If you so much as touch me I’m going to lose it. I should have closed the bond so it wouldn’t have been so intense.”

“Love, you’re not making any sense and you’re starting to scare me. What’s going on?”

You managed a shaky laugh. “Today was about me taking care of you, not the other way around. I’ll be fine, just give me a few moments.”

The look Loki gave you would have been comical in any other situation. “You can’t be serious.” You were silent. “Just because your goal for today was to take care of me that doesn’t mean you should deny yourself.” He moved closer until you could feel the heat of his body but he was careful not to touch you. “If you truly want to stop I will let you be, I’ll even sleep in the spare room to ease your discomfort. But know that it is not selfish to seek pleasure in return.”

Selfish.

The word left a bitter taste in your mouth. It was the latest item on the long list of issues you were working through. You felt selfish for forcing Loki to go through the torment of the past few years and though time and again he had assured you that you weren’t being selfish it was often hard to believe him. As of late, especially on this visit to Midgard, you’d felt it was selfish that Loki was spending so much time making sure that you were safe and enjoying yourself that he was neglecting to enjoy the trip himself.

“I…”

“Come here.”

For a moment you considered rolling over to turn your back to him but eventually shifted closer. The moment his arms surrounded you a shudder tore through your frame. With all of the emotions racing through your mind his simple touch was almost too much.

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“What?” You couldn’t concentrate.

“Did you know that your pleasure is my pleasure?” Gently his hand moved from your hip to slip beneath the soft material of your shirt, his palm spreading against the warm skin. “You have no idea how much love feeling you arch and writhe in my grasp. Your moans and cries are more beautiful than the finest symphony and the heat of your body is addicting.” His hand drew slow circles on your back, a gesture that both soothed and excited you. “There’s nothing sweeter than watching you lose control and knowing that it was because of me.” His hand slipped lower, finding the curve of your waist. Slowly it moved upwards and you hissed when his thumb brushed against your breast. “Can you share that with me, love? Can I make you shudder and shake beneath me? Can I taste your moans and cries?”

It took a moment for his words to sink in but eventually you nodded. “Yes.”

“Good girl. Now it’s my turn to take care of you.”

Lowering his head he caught your lips in a kiss. You were desperate, arching towards him but he forced you to slow down. He shifted slightly, pinning you down with his body weight while kissing you slowly. Eventually you calmed, sinking back against the soft bedding and Loki rewarded you by teasing your lips open and deepening the kiss. As you traded slow kisses his hand slipped from beneath your shirt to cup your breast through the soft material. This time he allowed you to arch as he teased your nipple until it was straining against the fabric. Without breaking the kiss he shifted to do the same to your other breast until your nipples were stiff and aching.

Eventually the need for air forced the two of you apart and your head was spinning as you attempted to catch your breath. The thin straps of your shirt did nothing to cover your neck or shoulders and Loki took advantage of that fact, pressing soft kisses against the delicate skin. As his lips found the curve of your neck his hands smoothed across your shoulders, dragging the thin straps downward. You shifted just enough to free your arms and gasped as the soft fabric was tugged lower, your nipples hardening further in the cool air of the bedroom. One of Loki’s warm hands cupped your breast and you couldn’t decide whether to press into his touch or towards his mouth where he was still tormenting your neck with kisses that were far too soft.

Thankfully Loki made that choice for you, kissing his way downwards until he could take your straining nipple into his mouth. Your hands sank into his hair to hold him in place as he teased you with his tongue. A whimper fell from your lips when he raised his head but it melted into a moan as he kissed his way across your chest. His hand found the recently abandoned breast and tugged and teased your nipple until you were desperate for his mouth once more. With one hand still tangled in his hair the other fisted the blanket beneath you as you arched into his touch. By the time he raised his head you were trembling and he smoothed his hand along your side, eventually vanishing your shirt in order to access more skin.

He kissed you gently, tugging at your bottom lip before finding the skin of your neck once more. This time he didn’t tease, kissing his way towards the soft spot below your ear. As his lips moved closer his hand began to slide downwards, the touch firm enough not to tickle. Soon his fingers were teasing the waistband of your shorts and if you could have found your voice you would have begged.

Having mercy on you his fingers slipped beneath the material and it was his turn to groan when he found you hot and slick. “Fuck, pet. I’m almost upset that you didn’t want to share this with me. Do you know how much I love knowing that you’re this wet for me? That my touch can do this to you?” Your answer caught in your throat as two fingers began to circle your clit. “Gods, you're so beautiful like this. I will never tire of watching you writhe and arch because of my touch. You have no idea what those sweet sounds spilling from your lips do to me.” Your eyes were closed but you could practically hear the mischievous grin. “Let’s see if we can coax a few more to the surface, shall we?”

Without waiting for a response one of his fingers slowly slipped into your soaked core. A gasp left your lips as he pumped it slowly, his eyes flicking from your face down towards his hand moving between your legs and back up again. You were so wet that another finger slipped inside smoothly and he immediately began a steady rhythm, his thumb circling your clit with every thrust of his fingers.

Between your earlier arousal and the constant teasing you were on the edge in an embarrassingly short amount of time. It didn’t take long for Loki to notice and he sent you hurtling even closer to the edge by lowering his mouth to your neck, his lips and teeth teasing the spot beneath your ear which caused lightning to flash white hot through your veins. Your hips began to rock and Loki matched your pace, curling his fingers to find that spot deep inside. He knew when he found it as you nearly shrieked and he held you in place as he worked a mark to the surface of your neck.

You fought against the wave building inside of you but it was a losing battle. Your body tightened and Loki pressed a final kiss against the darkening bruise on your neck. “That’s it. You’re so close, my love. You wanted today to be about me and I would love nothing more than to see you let go.” You whined and tried to arch away from his touch in order to hold on but he wouldn’t let you. “Be a good girl and come for me, I want to watch you come all over my fingers.” His voice was low and rough and somehow through your desire-flooded mind you could feel him grinding against your hip. Knowing he was aroused simply from watching you fall apart shattered the web the darkness had been weaving within you and you came with a broken cry of his name.

Loki held you steady, slowing his fingers to ease you down from your peak. Eventually you remembered how to breathe but your thighs were still shaking as you sank back against the bed. You sucked in a breath as Loki’s fingers slipped free and heard more than saw him lick them clean. He shifted slightly and you wrapped your arms around him as he settled himself above you. His hand moved in a slow loop from your waist to your thigh as he nuzzled at your neck. When the final tremors faded he raised up just enough to meet your eyes. His face was flushed and his lips were swollen but his eyes held such love and concern that you wanted to cry. “Are you alright?”

Shakily you nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. I’m more than fine actually.”

A smile touched his lips as he chuckled. “Truly? I couldn’t tell.”

You shoved playfully at his shoulder. “Menace.” Sinking your hand into his hair you tugged him down into a kiss. It started off slow but it didn’t take long for the heat to spark between you once more. You swallowed his moan as you tugged on his bottom lip while wrapping a leg high around his waist. He broke the skin with a curse as you rolled your hips, your lower body grinding against him. “Gods, pet, don’t do that.”

“Do what?” You repeated the move and Loki’s hand tightened almost painfully on your hip to hold you still.
Loki spoke your name in a low, warning tone. “You’re playing a dangerous game, love.”

“You’re the God of Mischief, I thought you liked games?”

The mage growled and reached towards your wrists to pin them to the bed. Before he could reach them you slipped one leg between his and rolled your shoulders sharply to the right. A sound of surprise left Loki’s lips when he suddenly realized he was on his back and you were settled on his thighs, a smug grin on your face. “Impressive trick, pet.”

Feeling his body tense you reached up and it was your turn to pin his wrists to the bed. Though he was stronger you were by no means weak and increased the pressure when he attempted to pull his arms free. Watching his face for any signs of discomfort, it was quite the opposite. His eyes darkened and his breaths turned shallow. “I’m glad you approve. I wonder if you’ll like this one as well.” Violet light began to spill from your hands and a moment later two bands encircled Loki’s wrists, securing him firmly to the bed.

The mage’s eyes widened in surprise as he turned his head to examine his bonds. It wasn’t your usual magic but the last time you were on Asgard you had procured several new magical tomes from a traveling merchant. You warily watched him tug on the bonds, unsure how he would react. He could easily counter the spell but you were interested to see his reaction. Eventually he met your eyes and you let out a breath of relief at the lopsided grin gracing his lips. “You’re just full of surprises today, aren’t you?”

Instead of responding you leaned down and caught his lips in a kiss. He tried to sit up to meet you but was stopped by the bands around his wrists. The sound he made caused a shudder to wrack your body and you knew it would be a very, very long time before you forgot it. Parting his lips you teased his tongue with your own and swallowed the groan caused by your hips rocking downwards. Slowly your hips rolled, his cock sliding through your soaked folds. The swollen head bumped at your entrance a time or two but you kept up the teasing, not allowing him to sink into your body.

Loki arched beneath you and you broke the kiss to sit up, your hips never slowing. The mage looked beautiful like this; his hair was mussed and spread out around him, his eyes were closed and his face was flushed. You watched as his swollen lips parted and a moan slipped free.

“Please.”

So caught up in your reverie you nearly missed the word. “What was that?”

“Please.” His eyes blinked open and the usual brilliant orbs were dark, only a thin ring of green remaining. “Please, my love. I need…” Loki rarely pleaded, you were usually the one begging, and it sparked a fire that raced through your veins.

“Shh…” Leaning down you pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Let your princess worship her prince.”

Rocking up onto your knees you slipped a hand down and slowly guided Loki’s cock into your body. The mage swore and you closed your eyes, forcing yourself to go slowly. Finally your hips met his and you shifted slightly, getting used to the intrusion. Once your body relaxed you began to slowly rotate your hips in a figure eight, watching as Loki’s face contorted in pleasure, a soft ‘yes’ falling from his lips.

Keeping your eyes on his face you alternated between figure eights and slow circles, feeling each inch of his cock drag against your walls. Below you the mage bit his lip but was unable to stop the litany of moans from falling past his lips. As the pressure began to build you sped up, rolling your hips before raising up and sliding back down and repeating the motion.

Loki’s hips began to rock up to meet you and it was your turn to groan as his cock brushed against that soft spot deep inside with each thrust. You were starting to get lost in the pleasure when you felt Loki shifting beneath you. Opening your eyes you saw the mage staring at one of the purple bands encircling his wrists, trying to clear his lust-addled brain enough to counter your spell.

Gently you grasped his chin and turned his head until he met your eyes. “What do you need, love?”

“Can I touch you?”

The question resonated differently after your previous conversation but you shoved those thoughts down before gently grasping his wrists. “Of course.” With a touch the bands disappeared and immediately Loki’s arms were around you, dragging you down into a kiss. The change in angle stole your breath and you were forced to break the kiss as a cry left your lips.

Loki’s hands found your hips and though he didn’t change your pace, he began to pull you downwards on each thrust while rocking his hips up to meet yours. Bracing your hands on his shoulders you allowed him to take over as he suddenly held you in place and fucked into you hard, his knees coming up to give himself more leverage. You swore as your body began to tremble and with a herculean effort you sat up, shoving his hips down with your own.

Holding his eyes you braced yourself against his knees and rolled your body in a slow curve, deliberately tightening your body with every pass of your hips. Something that might have been your name slipped past Loki’s lips as he watched you move. One of his hands found your breast and your head fell back as he teased the tender flesh, his thumb swirling around your nipple until it was hard. As your pace increased one hand fell between you and you shouted when his thumb began moving in quick circles over your clit.

Flattening your hands on his stomach you began to move faster until you were bouncing on his cock. Loki’s hand slid from your breast to your hip as he matched your thrusts. With each passing minute the pleasure filled you more and more, you wanted to hold on but it was a losing battle. Beneath you Loki was no better off, pulling you into his thrusts as his hips moved in an almost punishing rhythm. Your head was spinning then Loki angled the next thrust just right, his pelvis grinding against your swollen clit, and that was the end for you. Every nerve ending lit up as you arched your back, your nails digging into the skin of Loki’s shoulders as you came with a broken scream and a gush.

A deep groan left Loki’s lips as your walls tightened to the point where he could barely move and his fingers dug so tightly into your hips that there would be bruises. His thrusts grew sloppy and with a curse mixed with your name he came, holding you in place as his cock flexed hard. Feeling and hearing his pleasure was too much for your overwhelmed senses and your body convulsed again. You buried your face in his neck with a sob of pleasure, your body shaking uncontrollably. A broken groan fell from his lips as he felt you tighten around him and he continued to roll his hips to prolong the pleasure. Eventually the grip on your hips loosened and you all but collapsed on top of him, your limbs no longer willing to obey.

You knew you should move. Your knees were starting to ache but you were so drained from everything that happened today your body didn’t want to cooperate. After trying to push yourself up for the third time a strong arm wrapped around your waist. A moment later you were moving as Loki carefully maneuvered both of you to your sides. Biting your lip you held back a whimper as he slipped free of your body. The mage’s breathing was still ragged and though you were exhausted you pressed a hand to his chest, the fair skin flaring purple as you used your magic to soothe him. He reached up to brush his hair out of his face and you frowned upon seeing the red mark on his wrist. You poured more magic into the spell but Loki gently grasped your arm and pulled it away from his chest.

“I’m okay, love. I’ll heal.”

“But…”

“It’s not the first time you’ve left marks on me and I doubt it will be the last.” Nodding you allowed the violet light to fade. “If you’re going to heal anything, heal those.” He guided your gaze downwards where 5 bruises were already forming on your hips.

“I thought you liked seeing your marks on me?”

His hand gently brushed the darkening skin. “I do but I didn’t mean to be so rough with you.”

You repeated his earlier words. “It’s not the first time you’ve left marks on me and I doubt it will be the last.” Giving him a gentle kiss you tucked your face into his neck and though you couldn’t get any closer you still tried. “I’m fine.”

He rubbed slow circles on your back and though you could feel the heaviness of sleep beginning to creep over you thoughts and worries still raced through your mind. “I must be losing my touch.”

“What?”

“I can practically hear you thinking. I must be doing a rather poor job if your thoughts are still so tangled.”

Despite everything that happened today you blushed. “Sorry.”

Loki pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Today was wonderful, my love. You might not realize it but you always take good care of me.” He stretched, his muscles pleasantly sore. “Of course, if you want to plan more days like this I certainly won’t complain.”

You laughed and shook your head. “Menace.”

“True but I’m your menace.”

“Yes, yes you are.”

The room began to grow cool and you instinctively curled closer to the mage. “Come on,” he said while gently urging you to move. “Let’s go to bed.”

With a wave of his hand the two of you were clean and you burrowed beneath the blankets as he retrieved the pillows. You twisted your fingers and the witchlights blinked out of existence, the room now only illuminated by the occasional flash of lightning. As Loki’s arms surrounded you your mind finally began to calm and you drifted off, comfortable and safe in your husband’s arms.

Chapter 4

Notes:

Lord, this story is fighting me. I've rewritten this chapter 3 times and this is the best that it's going to get.

To say that I'm not okay would be the understatement of the century and I appreciate your patience and the few of you that are still hanging around.

I might continue this series but please share ideas with me, my muse has disappeared without a trace.

You know the drill, do the things.

Chapter Text

Standing on the balcony you looked out over the gorgeous landscape; a brilliant blue sky unmarred by clouds and the glittering ocean in the distance. A warm breeze caressed your skin and stirred your hair. It didn’t seem possible that such a picturesque scene could exist with the storm clouds brewing between you and Loki. The mage was too upset to block or even dampen his side of the bond and the mixture of guilt and sadness and anger, not at you but at himself, was so strong that you were nearly sick. You knew you should go to him, you knew he needed comfort and reassurance but it was taking every ounce of self control not to drown in the sea of darkness that was threatening to pull you under.

~*~

The morning had started off with Loki good-naturedly grumbling about the strange weather patterns of Midgard. You were in Australia and unlike Norway and Italy it was summer on this continent and the dramatic temperature change was having an effect on Loki. You’d offered to go somewhere else, you were looking forward to exploring the various sights but the last thing you wanted was for Loki to be uncomfortable. The trip had been trying enough as it was.

Waving away your concern he fell quiet as you finished braiding his hair and securing it with a knot at the base of his skull. You scheduled an excursion to visit the Great Barrier Reef which was apparently one of the wonders of this world. Over the years you had seen wondrous things across the realms and were curious to see how this sight compared.

For the remainder of the morning he was quiet yet surprisingly clingy. Whenever you were within reach he was pulling you close, sliding his hands across every inch of skin while kissing you until you were breathless. It was as though he was afraid that you would disappear and though you questioned him time and again he would give you a smile that you knew was forced before releasing you as you finished getting ready.

Your concern finally came to a head once you arrived at the marina. Stepping onto the dock you saw Loki’s shoulders relax as he inhaled a deep breath of the fresh sea air. Aside from your seaside home the two of you had shared many memorable experiences at the seaside and it was a place that never failed to calm you.

After stowing your bags in a locker you joined Loki who was staring out over the brilliant blue sea. You were still docked and the gentle rocking of the boat and the serene scenery put your mind at ease. Reaching for Loki’s hand you were surprised when the mage moved you to stand in front of him, his arms bracketing you on either side.

Though you had limited room you turned to face him. Though his eyes were hidden by dark sunglasses, another brilliant Midgardian invention, you could feel the jumble of emotions bleeding through the bond even though he was trying, and failing, to mask them. “Loki, what’s wrong?” When he didn’t answer you felt your heartbeat speed up, your eyes automatically darting here and there looking for a threat. “Please, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

Apparently feeling your mounting panic through the bond was enough to drag Loki’s mind back from where it had been wandering. “I’m sorry, love, it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. You’re acting like we’re about to be attacked at any second. Do we need to leave? What’s bothering you?”

Against your will your hands began to shake and Loki lightly grasped one of them, pouring the tiniest amount of magic into you. It wasn’t enough for anyone to notice but it did ease your tense muscles and racing pulse. “You’re going to think I’m a fool.”

“You’re married to someone afraid of their own shadow. I doubt anything could be more foolish than that.”

For a moment it looked as though Loki was going to protest but instead he shook his head. “It’s been too good for too long.”

“What?”

“The past few years have been so painful and so difficult that I’ve almost grown accustomed to it. And now…” He looked over your shoulder to stare out at the brilliant sea. “Now you’re traveling with me again and it’s just like before and…and I’m afraid.”

Gently you directed his gaze towards you once more. “Afraid of what?” Though you had felt the mage’s fear and terror more often than you had liked it was rare for him to actually admit that he was scared.

“That this peace that we’ve both fought for will end. Our lives together have always been turbulent but it’s been so calm, so normal as of late that I can’t help but wonder what will happen next to shatter that peace.”

Loki’s voice was so low that you could barely hear his words over the sound of the waves but the look on his face made your already damaged heart break into even tinier pieces. He was right, even before you started courting decades ago your lives were often turbulent. Whether it was family issues or taking a prank too far, the two of you seemed to spend more time recovering than actually living. Hel, it took Loki nearly dying before you even admitted to yourself that you had feelings for him that were beyond those of friendship.

After your capture and the battle against the darkness in your mind things seemed to be getting better. You both still had your struggles but slowly you were healing. In fact, nothing had really happened during your time on Midgard. There were a few stressful moments when old fears and insecurities bubbled to the surface but aside from that this trip had been wonderful and was exactly what you needed.

You reached up to cup his cheek which was cold despite the blazing sun. “Someone very wise told me that life can’t be a series of ‘what ifs’. Life is to be lived and obstacles are to be faced head on.”

Loki’s hand covered yours. “Who said that? Mother?”

“No, Runa. And if you tell her I said she was wise I will turn you into a toad.”

A surprised laugh fell from the mage’s lips. “Love, you’re powerful but I think that type of magic is beyond your capabilities.”

“Don’t doubt my resourcefulness. I’ll let Fen chase you around the yard and keep you in a jar.” Turning serious you took his hands in your own. “Honestly? I’m wary of the peace as well but I’ve been so scared for so long that I just want to enjoy it while it lasts. However, if you’re uncomfortable we can go.”

Both of you turned at the grating sound of the gangplank being raised. “It’s a little late for that now.”

“You can teleport us home.”

A dark eyebrow rose. “What about the ‘no magic in front of the mortals’ rule?”

“If I had to choose between a group of mortals panicking at our sudden disappearance versus my husband’s peace of mind then I’ll gladly choose the latter.”

At your words a smile, a real smile, touched Loki’s lips. “Thank you, my love. You’re right, there’s no use worrying over something that hasn’t happened yet.”

Stretching upwards you kissed him softly while nodding towards a chest filled with ice with vibrantly colored bottles protruding from it. “If you change your mind let me know. Now would you be so kind as to fetch me a drink?” Loki kissed you again before striding across the deck.

~*~

The rest of the day was spent exploring the stunning reef and you now understood why it was considered a natural wonder. The reef was massive, stretching far beyond your gaze. The colors of the coral were brilliant as they twisted this way and that, reaching skyward from the ocean floor. As beautiful as the reef was, it paled in comparison to the marine life that inhabited the reef. Brightly colored fish darted to and fro while crusteasions of all sizes moved among the reef’s branches.

Pointing downward you directed Loki’s gaze to a massive clam and even without using your magic you could tell it was old, at least by Midgardian standards. Excitement flooded the bond and you turned to see a turtle, the reflection of the sun’s rays painting its shell with rainbows, lazily swimming beneath you.

For what felt like hours you swam around the reef, excitedly pointing towards different sights and creatures as though you were children. After the earlier stress of the day your heart was full as you felt nothing but joy from Loki’s side of the bond. More than once he grabbed your hand, directing your attention to a new wonder that had caught his eye.

Although you had been in the water for hours it seemed to be too soon when you were called back to the boat. After shedding your gear, which made you both look and feel like a seal, and drying off you headed towards the upper deck where lunch had been set out. You didn’t realize how hungry the long swim had made you and childishly stuck your tongue out at Loki while grabbing your third cookie.

Though you were tired and full, the excursion wasn’t finished yet. Piling onto a smaller glass-bottomed boat you were steered towards a small island in the distance. Once arriving you realized that it wasn’t normal sand beneath your feet, it was tiny pieces of coral. The guide explained that this island was completely made of coral and the lush vegetation was either blown in on the wind or brought by animals. Looking skyward you were in awe that such a place could exist literally in the middle of nowhere. True, you’d seen many islands in your time but nothing this lush that hadn’t previously been connected to the mainland.

Following the group you paused at a display that held facts about the island and its inhabitants. Its most notorious resident was a spider the size of your palm that could apparently fly by catching the wind in its web but could swim as well. As the guide spoke several members of the group began to murmur and point towards a corner of the display where the spider in question was sitting contentedly in its web and waiting for an unsuspecting insect to happen by.

“...they’re pretty common on the island,” said the guide while looking around. “Has anyone spotted one yet?” Several people pointed towards the corner. “Ah, he lives there all of the time. Anywhere else?”

You could feel the tension run through the group, apparently no one was particularly fond of spiders. As everyone looked warily around you suddenly felt something scurry up your neck. Letting out a yelp you jumped and slapped frantically at your neck as cold sweat broke out across your body. There was nothing there but as you turned you saw Loki wiggling his fingers in your direction, a mischievous grin on his face.

Smacking his outstretched hand, you forced a laugh while attempting to control your racing heart. The touch had brought dozens of forgotten memories to the surface and you quickly dampened your side of the bond and shoved your hands in your pockets where no one would see them shake. The remainder of the tour was a blur and you vaguely felt Loki’s hand on your arm as he helped you into the glass-bottomed boat then later onto the original ship. More drinks and snacks had been set out and while everyone was distracted you fled into the interior of the ship. The bench was hard and dug into your back but you didn’t care as you pulled your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around them, doing your best to fight against the panic that was threatening to overtake you.

It didn’t take long for Loki to find you, the boat wasn’t large and you couldn’t use your magic to hide. The joyous mood from earlier faded as confusion and concern bled from Loki’s side of the bond. You heard bottles clink against the table as Loki sat down next to you. He spoke your name but you didn’t respond, afraid of what might slip from your lips. His hand brushed your arm and you scrambled backwards, your back and head colliding with the wall behind you.

“Don’t touch me, please don’t touch me.”

“You’re okay, you’re safe. Just take a breath. I’m right here but I promise I won’t touch you.” It took several long minutes for the panic to abate and when you finally raised your head you refused to meet Loki’s eyes. “What is it, love? What happened?”

The hem of your shorts was frayed and you picked at it nervously. “Do you remember where they held me?”

Whatever Loki was expecting it wasn’t that and he suddenly tensed. “Yes, why?”

With a sigh you met his eyes. They were so full of concern and worry that it twisted your stomach. Part of you wanted to reach out to him for comfort but the other part would probably start screaming at the slightest touch. “There were bugs, lots and lots of bugs.” At your words every ounce of blood left Loki’s face. “I didn’t have a bed, I slept on the floor. Some of them, a lot of them, were attracted to all of the blood. I would wake up as they crawled beneath my clothes. Sometimes they would try to get into my nose and mouth as I slept.”

“Gods, love, I…I’m so sorry. I…”

You cut Loki off with a wave of your hand. “You didn’t know, I never told you.”

“I wasn’t thinking. I should have known better. Norns, I’m so sorry.”

The hitch in his breath told you that he was on the verge of tears and though you wanted to comfort him your control was quickly slipping away. “I’m not angry I…I just need some time alone.”

“Of course.” The flood of guilt and pain that washed over you was suffocating and you forced yourself to breathe. Succumbing to the growing panic would only make things worse as the other passengers were likely to notice your distress. Closing your eyes you did your best to focus and stay calm as the world fell away around you.
The electronic beep that accompanied the opening of your hotel room door dragged you towards the present. You looked around in confusion, unsure of how you had gotten from the boat in the middle of the sea to the resort.

As soon as the door to your suite opened Loki slipped down the short hall to the second bedroom. He paused and looked back at you, his handsome features twisted in pain before stepping inside. The door closed with an ominous ‘click’ and you stared at it for a solid minute before moving. Your skin felt like it was crawling and you wanted nothing more than to take a shower but first you needed some air.

~*~

Walking into the bathroom you ran the shower as hot as you could stand it then turned the knob even further and closed your eyes as the water poured over you. Behind your closed eyes dozens of images flashed through your head; the filthy stone floor stained with blood and grime, the feeling of hundreds of tiny legs scrambling against your skin, waking up coughing and spitting while frantically scrubbing at your face, covering your face with your bloodied tunic in an attempt to protect it from the insects that were determined to burrow into your mouth and nose.

Despite the nearly scalding water you began to shiver and wrapped your arms around yourself. Your mind began to race as demons that you thought had been vanquished rushed forth and began to drag you under. Sobs shook your body as you curled into yourself, trying and failing to get away from the monsters in your mind. All of the progress, all of the strength you had built over the past few years melted away and was washed down the drain with your tears.

You wanted to call out to Loki, to reach out through the bond but you were too tired and he was too upset. Once more you admonished yourself; Loki was a trickster by heart and was playing a simple prank, the same kind he’d played when you were children. You never should have said anything, swallowing down your terror like you had so many times before. He was already on edge, terrified to break the hard won peace and you ruined it. You hurt him by admitting that he scared you, that his innocent actions ripped open a barely healed wound.

Hot water mixed with even hotter tears as you cried then cried some more until your throat was raw and eyes were nearly swollen shut. Knees growing weak, you braced yourself on the wall of the shower. Taking several shuddering breaths you managed to steady yourself to the point where you could turn off the water and safely step out of the shower. The last thing you needed was to fall and crack your head open. Pointedly ignoring the mirrors you hastily dried off and was surprised when you were met with darkness upon opening the bedroom door. It had been mid-afternoon when you returned from the excursion. How long had you been in the shower?

There was still no sign of Loki and your stomach twisted sharply with guilt. You took your time drying off and pulled on an oversized tunic and soft pants before heading towards the small kitchenette. Food was the last thing on your mind but maybe you could bring something to Loki as a peace offering. No matter how upset he was he could never resist something sweet
As you were searching through the cupboards a wave of dizziness hit you so suddenly that you nearly fell to your knees, grabbing the edge of the counter before your legs gave out. Taking a few deep breaths you suddenly realized that the dizziness wasn’t your own. A tidal wave of emotions crashed over you and in the center was a feeling that you knew all too well; panic. Turning to look down the hall you realized that Loki was having a panic attack. As you hurried towards the bedroom you heard a crash and broke into a run.

The door was unlocked but the room was so dark that you could barely make out the shape of the bed and chairs. Summoning several witchlights, you frantically looked around in search of Loki. You finally found him on the ground on the far side of the bed, his face flushed as he cradled one of his arms protectively against his chest. Nearby was an overturned chair, the cause of the noise. Rushing to his side you knelt down and gently grasped his shoulder.

“Loki? Can you hear me?” The mage didn’t respond and you shook his shoulder with more force. “Loki, I need you to take a breath. You’re safe, I’m safe but I need you to breathe for me.” It took a few tries but eventually a ragged breath passed through his lips. “Good, again.” Tentatively you placed a hand on his chest, doing your best to ignore the racing heartbeat as he forced himself to breathe. “That’s it, love. Just breathe for me.”

For what felt like hours you sat with Loki’s head in your lap, murmuring nonsense as the panic attack faded. Finally the trim body stopped trembling and you wiped a tear from the pale cheek. Green eyes blinked open and when he realized his position he froze. Slowly he turned his head and reluctantly met your eyes. “Love, I…”

“Shhh…just rest for a moment. I’m not going anywhere.” Loki nodded and closed his eyes as you ran your hand through his hair while the other continued to rest on his chest. Another half hour passed and though your joints ached from sitting on the hard floor it was easy to ignore the discomfort and to focus on your husband. Once more the bright eyes slowly opened and this time the panic that once flooded them was gone. “Better?”

“Yes.” His voice was rough. “What happened?”

“You, my love, had a panic attack. A pretty severe one at that. I would ask what caused it but I think I can guess.”

His eyes left yours as guilt poured through the bond. “I’m so sorry. I should never…”

“It’s okay. You had no idea and I’m not upset, I just needed some time to process the memories.” Brushing back his hair you gently grasped his shoulder. “Do you think you can stand? The floor isn’t exactly comfortable.” After a beat Loki nodded and you stood before grasping his hand and helping him up. His left arm was still pressed protectively against his chest and you frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“I think I tried to catch myself when I fell. I felt something pop and the pain made the panic even worse.”

Leading him to sit on the bed, you lightly touched his arm. For a moment he resisted but eventually allowed you to move closer. Your eyes closed as violet light poured from your fingers. “It’s just a sprain, give me a minute.”

“It’s fine. You don’t…”

“Hush.” Both hands hovered over his arm as the room was briefly illuminated by a violet flash. “Try and move it.” Loki gingerly rotated his wrist and nodded to let you know that the pain was gone. To his surprise you took his hand in both of yours, your thumb brushing against his recently healed wrist.

“I’m sorry.”

The words were so low that you couldn’t make them out. “What was that?”

A ragged sigh left the mage’s lips. “I’m sorry. I never should have scared you like that. I wasn’t thinking.”

“You don’t have to apologize. It was just a prank and you had no way of knowing how it would affect me.” It was your turn to look away. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I would have been fine but instead…” You licked your lips nervously. “Gods…I felt your panic then your pain and I was scared to death. If I would have just stayed quiet you…”

Loki softly spoke your name and after a beat you turned to face him. “Never once have you blamed me for one of your panic attacks and the last thing I am going to do is blame you for one of mine.” His hand came up and cupped your cheek and you immediately leaned into the touch. “I never want to be the source of your pain but today I failed.”

“So did I.”

“Then I suppose we are even.”

A surprised laugh spilled from your lips. “We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?”

“Indeed but there’s no one else I would weather the storm with.” Leaning closer he pressed a kiss to your temple. “I know you said you are not angry but are you okay?”

“Yes. Nothing that a good cry in the shower couldn’t fix. And you? It’s not like you to have panic attacks.”

Loki nodded. “I…I had a nightmare. I was covered in bugs, so many that I was choking on them. I was on my feet before I was truly awake and when I couldn’t take a deep breath I panicked.”

“Oh, love. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Today was…difficult but it wasn’t all bad, was it?”

“Today was wonderful and I won’t let dark memories ruin it. Thank you for going to the reef with me.”

“My brave, beautiful wife. It was my pleasure.” Loki stood then pulled you to your feet, his arms wrapping around you. “I love you, my princess.”

“I love you too, my prince. Why don’t you get cleaned up and I’ll order us something for dinner. By the time it gets here the cookies should be done.”

The mage’s eyes lit up. “Cookies?”

“I was getting ready to make them before…” You shook your head to dismiss the thought. “If you’re good I’ll let you lick the bowl.”

It was almost comical the way Loki rushed towards the bathroom and you couldn’t help but laugh as you walked back to the kitchen, shaking your head at your husband’s antics. Both of you were still hurting and you knew that there would be long and painful conversations in the future but at the moment the two of you were content to share the fragile, hard-won peace. Well, that and a plate full of cookies.

Notes:

Please feed the self esteem goblin kudos and comments on your way out.

Series this work belongs to: