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Imogen couldn’t believe how simple making up with Laudna ended up being. The two awkward scrambled apologies melded together, and Imogen found herself laughing and clinging to her best friend before she knew it. Most people may have assumed that hugging Laudna would have been cold and uncomfortable, but to Imogen, nothing was more soothing at the moment.
The rest of their conversation seemed to speed by to Imogen’s exhausted brain. She gave Laudna the ring, trying not to think too hard about the flutter in her stomach at Laudna’s gentle smile as she slipped it on. Talking about her nightmares was far more familiar territory, though Laudna agreeing to hold her at night made that flutter come back ten-fold.
She probably should have felt a little worse about the messy plan to help FCG, and she probably would tomorrow, but for now, being with Laudna, scheming with her again, was all she could focus on.
Ashton appeared to save them from any more awkward fake-reconciliation, and one look at their expression let Imogen know that they saw right through her bullshit. Luckily, they didn’t call her out, instead they just gently led FCG out of the room.
Just as he stepped passed the threshold, he turned and looked back at Laudna. “Hey, look, I know it’s not really any of my business, but you should actually give Dusk a real answer to her question. ‘Cause giving her a chunk of hair and running isn’t exactly clear.”
“O-oh, right!” The reminder of Dusk, of what Dusk had just asked Laudna, caused Imogen’s mood to immediately drop.
Ashton just threw up a hand in farewell before walking FCG back to their room, leaving the two women alone once again.
"I suppose I should talk to Dusk before they sleep.” Laudna murmured, offering Imogen a small smile before turning away.
Before Imogen could think, she lunged forward and clung to Laudna’s back, burying her face between her shoulders.
“Imogen?” Laudna tensed briefly before relaxing, gingerly placing her hands over Imogen’s on her stomach. Imogen fumbled to explain the sudden need to keep Laudna here, her brain scrambling to come up with an explanation. When words failed her, Imogen felt panic begin to claw its way up her throat. “Dear, you’re shaking. What’s wrong?”
“Don’t go on that date. I… just please don’t.” Imogen muttered the only clear thought running through her head.
“Imogen, what-”
Imogen felt her throat fully close up, and switched to speaking into Laudna’s head so that she could keep going.
I know it’s not fair for me to ask that, I’ve been so terrible to you lately-
Laudna’s voice cut in suddenly. Imogen, no, you had every right to-
No, please, let me finish. Imogen felt bad for cutting her off, but she needed to get this out. Instead of answering, Laudna tapped on Imogen’s arm twice with two fingers, their non-verbal signal for “you talk, I’ll listen”, and Imogen’s heart swelled with affection for her companion.
They had agreed on the signal a few weeks into their travel once it was clear both of them were prone to talking through their thoughts to sort them out. Sometimes the talks would be out loud and sometimes in their heads, the medium didn’t matter much once the two grew more comfortable with Imogen’s unique method of communication. It was Laudna’s idea to come up with some sort of signal after she had accidentally interrupted Imogen’s thoughts for the third time when she was on a roll.
But Laudna was always thoughtful like that. Always checking in to make sure Imogen was comfortable, that Imogen wasn’t overwhelmed, that Imogen was happy. Her companion, no matter what anyone else may think, was the kindest person Imogen had ever met. And for some reason, she had decided that Imogen was worth receiving that kindness.
Imogen knew how kind Laudna was. Knew how brave, clever, and strong Laudna was. Hell, she got so frustrated every time someone looked at her and dismissed her just based off of her appearance. She wished people would get to know how amazing her friend really was. So why was it that the one time someone did really notice, Imogen felt like she couldn’t breathe? Why was she so desperate to keep Laudna away from Dusk?
Oh gods. Imogen thought as the answer struck her suddenly like a lightning bolt. Oh gods, oh gods, I love her. I love her.
And gods did that make so much sense. It explained why Imogen was so desperate for Laudna’s attention. Why she preened under Laudna’s praise. Why she could completely let her walls down around Laudna, and only Laudna. It was poetic, in a way, that the one person whose thoughts were like a balm to Imogen’s overworked brain was the one person that she wanted by her side until the end.
Imogen managed to somewhat get ahold of herself after her revelation, realizing that she had left Laudna hanging as she had her mini crisis. Except, instead of waiting patiently like Imogen was used to, Laudna was standing ramrod straight, so still that Imogen had to wonder if she was even breathing.
Laudna? Imogen prompted, suddenly very nervous.
Ah, ummm, well, I, ummm, Dea- Imogen. Was that… was that supposed to be in my head? Laudna’s thoughts sounded so unsure, so timid, that Imogen knew something was wrong.
In your head? Laudna, what… It hit her so suddenly that she froze, realizing that she hadn’t stopped the connection after she got distracted. Which meant that Laudna had just heard everything.
Panicked, Imogen went to pull away, but Laudna’s hands held her in place. Laudna, I’m sorry, that was supposed to be in my own head. Oh gods-
Imogen, it’s okay. Laudna assured her, any anxiety disappearing in response to Imogen’s fear. You talk, and I listen, remember?
Laud, that wasn’t- I didn’t mean to- Her poor brain was racing, and she was barely able to string together one conscious thought, let alone an entire apology.
Can I show you something? Laudna asked suddenly, cutting through Imogen’s stuttering thoughts.
Her hands loosened their grip on Imogen’s, and her mind was projecting a patient calm that helped Imogen get ahold of herself a bit. Instead of answering with words, Imogen just reached to tap Laudna’s hand twice, letting her know it was her turn to talk, and Imogen would listen.
Laudna didn’t always think in words like Imogen did. She could focus her thoughts to “speak” mentally with Imogen, but most of the time her thoughts were likes flashes of images and feelings. So when Imogen felt the push of Laudna’s mind against her consciousness, she let herself fall into those images and feelings, fully allowing herself to experience whatever Laudna wanted to show her.
The first flash was some run-down village, a group of people yelling and throwing things at her, calling her a monster, a demon, a freak. Imogen quickly realized that Laudna was showing her a memory, which meant that these people were attacking Laudna, calling her such horrible things.
That scene shifted, quickly becoming a new town, but with the same result. And then it happened again. And again. And again. So many memories of cruelty, all directed at a person that was just looking for help, someone that just wanted to belong somewhere.
Imogen almost asked her to stop, but kept silent. She had promised she’d listen, and there had to be a reason that Laudna was showing her these things.
A new scene came to focus, this time a very familiar village on a plateau. It was odd to see herself in Laudna’s memories, but she pushed past that and focused on the emotions tied to the scene. Imogen saw herself smile and hold out a hand in the memory, and felt Laudna’s surprise and elation at the gesture.
The flashes started coming quicker after that, memories of talking with Imogen, bonding with her, traveling with her, becoming her friend. There were memories of Imogen bringing Laudna with her into towns, of defending her when villagers or shop owners were wary. Memories of Imogen helping Laudna ground herself when her new life took too much of a toll.
Even in the memories with the rest of the Hells, Laudna’s focus was always on Imogen. Imogen could feel the love seeped into the memories, how much Laudna was grateful that Imogen had helped others to realize that there was a person behind all the black goo and eldritch spells.
A few more memories flashed through their link, more verbal than visual this time. Snippets of conversations that Laudna held dear, even if the rest of the memory wasn’t that important. Imogen assuring Laudna that she was “good creepy”, and that she associated her scent with incense and earth instead of death and decay like everyone else.
The last batch were of Imogen giving Laudna the ring, of her accidentally oversharing through their mental bond, and of the tentative hope that flared in Laudna’s dead heart.
Alright, that should be the last of it. Laudna’s voice cut through the last of the scenes, pulling Imogen back to the present.
“You said you hadn’t accessed that part of your brain in so long.” Imogen muttered dumbly, not trusting her thoughts anymore.
“Well, that’s the funny thing. I don’t think I’ve ever consciously thought about that when it comes to you. It’s just easy to be with you, Imogen. I never took the time to put a name to the feelings that I have for you because it’s so natural to just be with you.” Laudna chuckled, starting to shift from foot to foot in a way that let Imogen know how nervous she was.
“Yeah,” Imogen let out a breathy chuckle into the fabric of Laudna’s shirt, “I think I get what you mean.”
“But you… love me?” Laudna asked, voice shaking slightly.
“Yeah, Laud, I do.”
“And now you know how I feel.” Laudna continued, and Imogen nodded. “So what do we do now?”
“I don’t know.” Imogen muttered, still reeling from all of this. “How much would really be different?”
“Well…” Laudna started to move, and Imogen let go quickly to let her. She was surprised when Laudna just spun around but stayed nose-to-nose with her. “I can think of one thing that could change.”
“O-oh.” Imogen stuttered, feeling her face heat up at the proximity. Her eyes flickered down to Laudna’s lips, so dark and inviting, before snapping back up to her eyes. She groaned and hid her face in Laudna’s neck, completely embarrassed at her own reaction.
“It’s alright dear.” Laudna cooed, running a hand gently up and down her back in a soothing way. “We’ll figure all of this out. Together.”
“I’m sorry, I’m just a little scattered at the moment.” Imogen muttered.
“Understandably so.” Laudna laughed, and Imogen could feel the vibrations from where she was hidden. “I’m sure I’ll have to gush to Pâté later once this all really sinks in.”
“Just don’t let him give you relationship advice.” Imogen pulled back and grinned, her heart practically bursting when Laudna returned the expression.
“Whatever do you mean?” Laudna pulled the little rat up towards her face, turning him so that the empty eye sockets were pointed towards Imogen.
“Yeah,” Pâté’s spoke up, “I’m the only one out of all of you that’s getting some every night!”
“Pâté!” Laudna gasped in mock-offense. “That’s not something that needs to be shared!”
Imogen just watched fondly as the two continued their fake argument, overcome with affection for this woman. Eventually Pâté was returned to Laudna’s belt, and she quirked her brow at Imogen’s expression.
Instead of answering, Imogen did her best to take her thoughts and express them as feelings like Laudna did. She tried her best to project the admiration and love she felt at Laudna, and hearing Laudna’s little gasp, she thought that she did a pretty good job.
“C’mon, let’s get some sleep.” Imogen held out a hand, and Laudna took it easily, letting herself be pulled to the bed.
Imogen let herself curl into Laudna as they settled, adoring the comfort that just having her there provided. And when Laudna pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, Imogen felt like the luckiest girl in the world, nightmares and haunted moon be damned. As long as she had Laudna at her side, Imogen knew that it would be alright in the end.