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‘Computer, locate Lieutenant Commander Data.’
The time had come: Dr Beverly Crusher was coming back to USS Enterprise, and that meant that Dr Katherine Pulaski was leaving. It was a weird thing for Kate to think about. When she first arrived on this glorious ship, she had expected it to be a quick job. Get in, get out. Like she wasn’t even there. And yet… she found herself strangely attached to this ship and her crew.
She was going to miss them alright.
In fact, to show how much she would be missed, there was a small party to be held in Ten Forward just for her. Merely between her and her close colleagues, of course. Just a few people. And that’s what made the absence of a certain someone so noticeable.
Kate grumbled to herself as she made her way down the ship’s hallways. Of all the people to be missing… Did no one think that she wouldn’t notice the lack of yellow eyes or shiny silver skin? It’d be like failing to notice a missing bed in your bedroom. And she could not understand why he hadn’t shown up. It wasn’t like he didn’t show up to these parties. He did so whenever possible, if only in an attempt to understand human behaviour.
So why wasn’t he showing up to this one? There was no way in hell that he forgot - unless something catastrophic happened, he never forgot a thing. Kate had to find out, and she had to find out now.
‘Data, let me in. We need to have a talk.’
Perhaps she was a little forward with it; it wasn’t like Data could decline her unless he had a very good reason to. But dammit, she wasn’t going anywhere until he showed his shiny face! Almost immediately, the door to Data’s headquarters slid open. Kate couldn’t help huffing as she stepped into the room.
Well, there he was. It was hard to mistake him for anyone else. He was sitting at his console, where he was probably running far more calculations a second than Kate could possibly handle before he looked her dead in the eye. His (seemingly) emotionless stare brought her back to when she first met him, and considered his gaze a horrifying one. Now, she thought it looked kinda cute, in a somewhat strange way.
He opened his mouth to say something - anything, really - but Kate rushed into his room and clamped her hands onto his console before he could get a word out.
‘Data.’ She said, nice and blunt. ‘What are you doing here, and why aren’t you at the farewell party?’
She had successfully managed to annoy herself, with the knowledge that it took her so long for ‘Day-ta’ to be her default pronunciation instead of ‘duh-tah’. Just thinking about that made her cringe.
‘Did no one tell you about the party?’ She asked. ‘Geordi was supposed to tell you. I swear to god, if he forgot…’
‘Geordi did not forget to tell me.’ Data said, in that oddly gentle voice that Kate learned to love. ‘He informed me of the party in Ten Forward 3.6 days ago. He also reminded me of the event 1.2 days ago, even though I had not forgotten about it. I assured him that I could not forget it, but he told me that he wanted to be certain that I knew.’
Kate stared at him in silence for a bit. Right, so he was well aware of the occasion. Of course he was. Why wouldn’t he be? Perhaps because Kate wanted to hold onto the possibility that he hadn’t flaked on purpose.
‘Alright, now I’m even more confused.’ Kate said, backing away a little. ‘If you knew about the party, and Geordi told you about it - thus implying that he wanted you to come along… why didn’t you? This could be the last time you see me in quite a while, if at all.’
Data’s expression did not change, at least obviously. Yet, Kate could’ve sworn she had noticed a subtle change in those yellow eyes of his. A change that she could not describe in any way, and one she wasn’t certain was even there at all.
‘The party in Ten-Forward is intended to be a farewell party for you.’ Data replied, adding the slightest emphasis on the final word. ‘The people who typically attend such a party are the close friends of those who are leaving.’
‘Yes.’ Kate said. ‘And?’
‘I am not a close friend of yours.’
Kate’s arms slumped immediately. For a moment, she assumed that she heard him incorrectly. If it was anyone else, she’d think this was a joke. Or an aggressive comment meant to demonstrate anger. But when it came from Data, it could be neither.
‘Excuse me?’ Kate said, walking around the console to get closer to him. ‘What on earth could you possibly mean by that? I know you don’t know a lot about human friendships - understandably so, I’d say - but you have to realise that we’ve talked to each other a lot.’
‘While it is true that we have interacted regularly,’ Data said. ‘That alone does not constitute a friendship, as I have discovered. One can interact with someone who one hates on a regular basis, and still dislike them.’
Kate’s eyes widened in realisation. ‘Wait. You really think…?’
‘Our interactions have demonstrated that you do not see me as a friend. Thus, I did not go to the party in Ten Forward, for I am aware that only close friends attend such parties.’
The medical officer’s heart dropped. Now she realised what that subtle change in his eyes was - some form of sadness. Perhaps not sadness as she knew it, but certainly something like it. Maybe just the ‘realisation’ - or what he thought was the realisation - that the woman in front of him supposedly did not like him.
At first, she didn’t know what to say. All she could do was throw her head back and emit a bizarre sound of frustration and despair.
‘How…?’ Was the only word she could manage to say.
What she had intended to ask was ‘how could you come to that conclusion’, but she realised the answer before she even opened her mouth to speak. Worse yet, now that she had tried asking him about it…
‘One particular interaction that demonstrated your dislike for me was one of our first.’ Data explained, much to Kate’s frustration. ‘You mispronounced my name as ‘Dah-tah’, which is not my name, and you did not appear to care about pronouncing it correctly.’
Kate’s hands slammed against the nearby table (he had a table, apparently). She prayed that he would stop there, but… well, Data never ‘stopped there’.
‘Our next interaction was when I accompanied Counsellor Troi to sickbay. You verbalised your belief that someone else would be better to accompany her, for I could only offer a cold and emotionless touch.’
She cringed upon remembering those words. At the time, she had just wanted what was best for the suddenly-pregnant Troi (and that entire debacle was something else already). Looking back, she couldn’t believe she said that. Imagine if she said something like ‘it would be better than the rough and loveless touch of a Klingon’ while Worf was in the room.
Then she realised that, at the time, she wouldn’t have considered those equivalents at all. The thought made her feel dirty.
‘Oh, Data, I…’
‘You also referred to me as ‘it’ multiple times, and did not appear to enjoy referring to me as ‘he’ instead. This behaviour is common in those who do not see me as a person.’
‘Data, please. I don’t need any more examples.’
‘There are many more examples, but you have made it clear to me that you do not consider me a friend. I did not want to attend your farewell party, for it is to be only with friends and I did not desire to ruin it.’
‘DATA!’
Unable to contain her frustrations any longer, Kate yelled out his name and slammed her palms into the console hard enough to make it hurt. It had been done so suddenly that she was all but certain that Data flinched. The android, honest to god, flinched.
‘Look, I understand how you came to this conclusion,’ She said, staring him right in the eye. ‘But you were invited to my farewell party for a reason. It was because - get ready for it - I consider you a friend.’
Data apparently hadn’t thought of this possibility, for he was making his ‘Humans confuse me’ face again. The same face that used to annoy Kate, since it was so often followed by him either asking more questions or rambling for hours about the answer, and yet she now found it rather adorable. Oh, how she was going to miss it…
‘I do not understand.’ He said. ‘You have told me that you consider me a friend, but our interactions would indicate otherwise. I understand that Humans often do not mean everything they say, but I do not-’
‘Well, once upon a time,’ Kate said. ‘You would’ve been right. When we first met, I called you ‘Dah-ta’ because I didn’t think it really mattered. Sure, it wasn’t your name. But you were an android! You wouldn’t care. You probably didn’t even know the difference.’
Now, Data looked even more confused. ‘But I-’
She held one hand up for him to stop. ‘Yes. I know. I’m just telling you what I was thinking at the time. Of course you knew the difference. Of course I was supposed to care. I don’t call Worf ‘Woof’ because I’d never heard his name before, and I don’t get to decide that Mrs Troi’s first name is too weird and should be pronounced ‘Lana’ instead. Your name is ‘Day-ta’. Not ‘Dah-ta’!’
She took a deep breath, trying to contain the anger aimed at herself. Of course, this wasn’t really about the name, was it? It was certainly part of the problem, but it was far from the only problem. It was just a perfect representation of how much she had screwed up.
‘Data,’ She said, much more calmly. ‘I said all that crap because I thought I was dealing with a talking toaster. Nothing more. It didn’t make it right. It took until you were almost taken away to have your brain examined that I finally realised that you were a person. And only because the law itself declared you as such. It took me so long to see you as one of us. And do you know whose fault that was? Because it sure as hell wasn’t yours.’
Data remained silent for a moment before answering. ‘Yours?’
The slight change in his tone made it quite clear that he wasn’t fully confident in this answer. Or whatever the android version of ‘not fully confident’ was. Most likely just making an educated guess based on previous experience with Humans and their difficult ‘rhetorical questions’.
‘Exactly.’ Kate said. ‘It’s all on me.’
‘But I cannot fault you for your assumptions.’ Data said. ‘Many people have a similar reaction when they-’
The doctor groaned. ‘Oh my GOD, Data!’
She stepped away from the console and buried her face in her palm. The sheer lengths this android was going to for the sole purpose of making her feel better was more infuriating than adorable. Especially when this entire situation was her fault in the first place.
‘Have I said something wrong?’ He asked.
‘Yes, you have!’ Kate replied. ‘You keep trying to justify my treatment of you even though it shouldn’t be justified. It can’t be justified. It isn’t making me feel any better. In fact, it’s making me feel worse, because it’s getting frustrating. Usually it’s cute when you’re confused and oblivious, but now it’s just infuriating!’
‘... Should I cease having this discussion with you? The longer we talk, the less time you have for your farewell party. I did not intend to ruin it, but I may be doing so.’
Goddamnit, that look in his eyes. How could she say he was emotionless when he looked like a kicked puppy? Whether or not he realised it himself, she knew that he was feeling bad for keeping her so long. Even though it was, once again, all her fault. For a moment, she was about ready to explode. Then, she simply walked over to the couch and pointed at it.
‘Sit down.’ She said. ‘Now.’
Data complied with her request immediately, no less confused on why she hadn’t just left already. Kate sat down next to him, and took a deep breath.
‘Data,’ She said. ‘There’s only one way that you could possibly ruin my farewell party.’
He made that confused look again. ‘Only one way? I believe there are, in fact, 27 ways I could ruin the celebration. I could ‘babble on’ too long. I could ‘bring the mood down’. I could say something insensitive. I could-’
‘Data. I assure you, there is only one way you could ruin it. And that’s by staying in your quarters and not attending the party.’
Kate couldn’t help chuckling. The look on his face. The look on his face. She never thought an android could look so surprised. If only she had a camera with her. She didn’t buy the ‘I have no emotions’ claim for a second; only someone with emotions could make such a beautiful expression. The thought processes were written all over his face.
‘You…’ He paused to compute this a little more. ‘You wish for me to go to the party?’
‘Yes!’ Kate said, voice dripping with both relief and frustration. ‘That’s why I’m here. That’s why you were invited! Come on, Data. I know you don’t get Humans, but surely you get logic.’
‘The only reason why you would wish for me to join the celebration is that-’
‘I see you as a friend. Do you understand that now?’
Once again, Data needed a moment to comprehend this. Kate didn’t really blame him; even she would have struggled with so much conflicting information.
‘I do not understand.’ He finally admitted.
‘Well, I don’t understand why we’re still talking and not celebrating at the party,’ Kate said. ‘So I guess that makes us even.’
‘But your behaviour-’
‘Was completely unwarranted. Data, when I first met you, I had assumed you were a Human-shaped toaster. Then that smartass Kolrami showed up and defeated you in that Strata-something game that I don’t even remember the name of-’
‘Strategema.’
‘Not important. And I saw you have some android-version of losing your self-confidence. And I realised that I was worried about you. It hurt me to see you so distressed.’
Data opened his mouth, but was swiftly interrupted.
‘Yes, I know. You can’t be distressed. Personally, I don’t buy it, but that doesn’t really matter right now. Hearing you talk about how you had to have been broken after you lost a single game was painful, Data. And do you wanna know why? Because you’re my friend. Amigo. Amie. Do you understand it yet?’
‘So you are not lying when you say that you consider me a friend?’ He asked.
‘Data, you’re my friend, but… oh my god, it’s like you refuse to believe that I could actually be your friend. Which, to be fair, makes sense.’
‘I must make a small correction. I consider you a friend of mine. I just did not realise that you reciprocated such… I believe ‘feelings’ is the correct term, though it does not fit me.’
Now it was Kate’s turn to be surprised. She stared at him with the same wide-eyed look that he had given her not five minutes ago. Well, that certainly changed a few things. And made her wonder how she could ever be so bitter towards this guy to begin with. Was he kind of annoying? Yes. Did he fail to understand ninety-percent of his social interactions? Absolutely. Could he be utterly hopeless sometimes? More than sometimes, it seemed.
But goddamnit, he really was like the Tin Man; a ‘heartless’ person who was the sweetest guy in the world.
‘You consider me a friend?’ She asked. ‘After everything I did to you? Okay, you’re coming to the party, whether you like it or not.’
‘If I am correct,’ Data said. ‘Your behaviour towards me when we first met does not reflect your feelings towards me now. Therefore, you now consider me a friend. And if I do not attend your farewell party, you will not enjoy it.’
‘Yes. Yes.' Kate replied, trying not to let her exasperated tone seep through. ‘Okay, you’re finally getting it.’
For a moment, she was happy; finally, this whole matter could be put behind them, and they could celebrate their last proper day together. But then… was he frowning? Kate couldn’t be certain, but he was almost definitely frowning. Then again, even the slightest movement of his mouth could be seen as a frown or a smile.
‘I apologise for ruining your farewell party.’ He said.
‘Nope.’ Kate said, not even sounding so sympathetic at this point. ‘No, I’ll be having none of that. This is all my fault. Again. I said that you’d ruin the party by not attending, and that’s what you’ve done. That’s on me for explaining it poorly, alright?’
‘You have spent a considerable amount of time looking for me and convincing me to attend the party. This is time you have not spent at the party itself. This could have been avoided had I realised that you wanted me there.’
‘Data, the party had just started when I noticed that you weren’t there. We’ve barely missed out on anything. If we get going now, we’ll have plenty of time to enjoy ourselves. So let’s stop doubting ourselves and get going.’
Kate, admittedly, was still worried. The android had a habit of trying to please a little too hard, and she was practically waiting for them to go through this whole ordeal again. Which would inevitably lead to her missing her own party, but that was the least of her concerns right now.
Fortunately, that wasn’t what happened.
‘I will go with you.’ He said. ‘This could be our last time together, and now that I am aware that you consider me a friend, I would like to make it as enjoyable for you as possible.’
Kate laughed. ‘Well, Mr Data, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’d miss me.’
‘I cannot miss people, Dr Pulaski. It is not in my programming to do so.’
‘Uh huh. But it will be distracting when you go to sickbay and see Dr Crusher instead of me, won’t it?’
Data took a moment to think about it. ‘Your absence will be strange. I may yearn to see you and talk to you again.’
She scoffed. ‘And you don’t think that’s missing me?’
‘I… suppose it could be. I do not believe that I can miss you the same way that you will miss me, but if you believe it to be the correct term to use… I will miss you, Dr Pulaski.’
‘And I’ll certainly miss you, Data. You’re quite unforgettable. Now, I think that’s enough chatting. Let’s get to that party, shall we?’
And so, finally, Kate managed to drag Data all the way to her farewell party. Only then did it feel complete. She found, perhaps to her dismay, that she would miss the guy. She had no doubt that he would do the same for her, whether or not he realised it. By the end of the party, she only had one regret.
That it took her so damn long to see the awkward yet amazing android as a person, and as a friend.
