Work Text:
even when he was younger, he’d always felt so small next to the high rise buildings near central park. he’d wondered what the view would be like from up there, what it would be like to overlook the vast city through the floor to ceiling windows of a high rise apartment at night. surely the city lights would look like stars amidst the darkness, and he can already tell he’s going to be spending night after night contemplating them with a cup of coffee in hand.
it’s nerve-wracking for someone like him, who’d grown up in a household that earned just enough to eat, to step into the building with happy trailing behind him; two suitcases full of his belongings held by his strong hands. the floors are marble and the elevator—which he hasn’t realized is private—has glass walls, and he doesn’t think he’s ever set foot into such a luxurious apartment complex except maybe tony’s. the elevator back where he’d lived with aunt may had never worked since they’d moved there, and the stark contrast between the two places makes his stomach churn.
even after three years of seeing tony he hasn’t become used to the older man’s lavish lifestyle, still blushes and feels his hands tremble whenever he’s presented with an expensive gift. and this is the same reaction he has when they reach the top floor, realizing tony hasn’t just gotten him a simple apartment but a penthouse worth more than the apartment complex he’d lived in with aunt may. the elevator doors slide open to reveal the type of indoor decor you’d see in magazines, all sleek surfaces and monochrome hues. he can tell that the furniture in the living room alone probably costs more than the exotic sports car tony had gotten him for his eighteenth birthday, and he briefly wonders if he’ll ever feel comfortable just sitting down on it to watch tv.
“so this is it,” happy murmurs behind him with a disapproving look, “enjoy it, kid. call the concierge if you need anything.”
peter turns around to catch tony’s assistant heading towards the elevator, already pressing the button on the wall to slide the doors open, “wait!”
the man turns around reluctantly to face him, an exasperated look crossing his features, “what is it?”
“when is tony coming? he hasn’t called all day,” peter whispers brokenly.
“he’ll call when he can,” happy sighs, “just enjoy your new penthouse and stay put.”
peter feels his heart sink to his stomach at the words, nods and tries to cheer himself up by roaming around his new apartment. there’s floor to ceiling windows just like the ones he’d imagined earlier; the bustling city in full view as well as the faint mossy green of the trees in central park. the sun had begun setting when they’d arrived and now it’s casting a golden glow through the buildings in the distance. but as he turns around and his sneakers squeak against the tiles, he can’t help but feel a little lonely at the silence that reverberates throughout.
tony doesn’t call him for two entire weeks, and peter remains anguished until happy calls him on a thursday night. the man lets him know that tony had left for a business trip in europe, that he’ll be returning within a couple days. it bruises peter’s ego to hear back from him that way after spending days texting the older man without response, calling to only hear the automated system echo back instead of the raspy voice he loves. he’d tried to satiate his need for the older man by watching netflix, roaming around central park, going to nightclubs late at night with mj, but nothing filled the void. just last night he’d called the chauffeur to drive him back home from the club in a drunken stupor, had cried in the backseat at the overwhelming loneliness.
it’s times like these that he wishes he could drive back to aunt may’s apartment in search for comfort, for at least a sliver of tenderness. but he knows he’s not welcome there, that there will only be pleas for him to come back home, to come back to his senses, to leave that wretched man as his aunt had so eloquently put it. he still remembers how his aunt had paced around the apartment as he packed his suitcase; her arms crossed over her chest in a mix of disapproval and disappointment. he’s lying to you, he’ll never leave that woman.
but the thing she didn’t understand is that peter didn’t care about that much anymore. he knew very well tony would have a hard time leaving pepper, and he’d made his peace with it. where peter had found his place in tony’s bed on weekends, pepper had grounded her spot in the older man’s life, right by his side before the public eye. peter didn’t mind being the one who watched in the shadows; the one who loved him in private islands, private jets, private apartments. just feeling tony’s warmth radiating off to him and his sweet nothings fan against his skin was enough for him, even if it tore him apart to have to wait days, weeks, months to see him again.
peter would wait for him between the walls of his high rise apartment, a sky high cage he could wander out of whenever he pleased but would always come back to out of his own volition. peter would wait because he knew tony loved him in his way, would never be able to go without the feel of his lips brushing against his neck or how he clenched around the older man’s cock. peter knew he held some control over the man whenever he crawled on top of him with every intention to please, and he loved basking in the sight of the man’s eyes squeezed shut as he groaned in pleasure with a shift of his hips.
and so he continues waiting patiently in his glass cage, despite the dreadful loneliness.
he stirs awake to open-mouthed kisses being pressed to his lower back, then along his shoulder blades and then his neck. he doesn’t need to completely wake up because he recognizes it’s tony’s weight on top of him; that it’s his calloused hands brushing along his hips. the older man doesn’t wait to press a digit against his puckered hole, already prepared for him since way before he’s arrived. tony had texted him he’d be heading to the apartment a couple hours prior, and peter had made it a point to stretch himself out for him, wanting to be filled immediately.
“such a good boy,” tony purrs into his ear, “you must have missed me.”
peter writhes underneath him, gripping the sheets as a moan escapes his lips. he can feel fingers inside him now, pushing in and out of him with ease. tony’s so skilled at leaving him completely pliant, at sending sparks of pleasure radiating through his body. no one’s touch would ever come close to tony’s, no one’s touch would ever leave him with lungs burning for air as he cries out in ecstasy. he holds onto tony’s arms as the older man thrusts violently into him, loving the way he fills him almost painfully.
but when tony finishes inside him and his cock slips out, the empty feeling he’d carried around comes crawling back. and it deepens when tony slips out of bed into the shower, not even sparing a second to embrace him.
sometimes he goes online to look at news articles when he misses tony. tony’s face is on them most of the time, followed by mentions of his achievements through stark industries. tony’s dashing in every single one of the photos, smirking seductively at the cameras and his confident aura seeping even through pictures. peter loves the sight of him in suits, feels like there’s no one in the world that would look better in one than him.
this time around though, there’s no smile appearing on his lips as he reads through the articles filled with pictures of tony and the redhead by his side. she’s linking arms with him in the pictures, and nausea washes through his body at the sight of the ring on her finger. the lighting of the camera flashes had bounced off it, sparkling beautifully on her hand.
peter lets out a strained laugh at the sight, recalling happy’s words. had tony lied about being on a business trip? had he actually taken pepper to europe in order to propose to her? tony had once mentioned he’d never marry pepper, assuring him he didn’t believe in the institution of marriage. so why is there a ring on pepper’s finger, the promise of a commitment present for the entire world to see?
you knew he’d never leave her, so why is it surprising? peter tells himself.
it doesn’t make any sense, surely he’s misunderstanding the situation. he’d believed tony’s words when he’d said he’d never marry pepper, and surely he wouldn’t break his promises so easily. peter can still remember how tony had kissed his concerns away, had wiped away the tears gathered in the corners of his eyes after he'd voiced his concerns. that will never happen , tony had whispered into his neck, pepper doesn't even want to marry me.
and of course, peter had believed him. he knew their relationship was far from the perfect one they portrayed before the media, something he'd believed just like everyone else before he'd come to know tony personally. it was the reason he'd felt guilt tear at him three years ago when the line had been first been crossed on a normal monday evening at the lab, moaning daddy, faster pleasepleaseplease as he’d been fucked ruthlessly on top of a desk. he’d worried about the harm he would be inflicting on pepper potts right afterwards, but the feeling had dissipated after he'd seen the couple speak to each other. their words had been laced with venom and delivered in harsh voices, cementing the idea that he wouldn’t be but another crack in the foundation of their relationship if she ever ended up finding out. and hearing tony say they didn’t even love each other anymore in his head had helped ease the tension off, especially after the first time the older man had fucked him raw on the bed he knew they shared.
tony had always played off his relationship with pepper as merely casual, speaking of it as he was almost forced to be with her rather than actively choosing to. like it was some kind of obligation. this was something else though, something that had completely blindsided him. he never liked to consider himself a ‘mistress’ of some kind, but tony marrying pepper would most definitely make him feel like one. the idea chipped at the thick skin he’d developed throughout the past three years, and tears prick at his eyes as he grips his phone to call tony. he needs explanations, is entitled to them after spending years by his side.
but there’s no response like usual. and he briefly wonders if he’s with her right now, if his arms are wrapped around her the way he’d craved for the other day.
the ring almost burns against his skin when pepper pushes back his hair to set her cold hand against his forehead, asking him if he’s feeling sick. he knows he’s bright red and sweating from the pulsating anger, shame, and disappointment that had clouded his senses upon seeing the ring on her finger in person, stinging far more than when he’d looked at it from his phone screen. tony still hasn’t had the guts to look him square in the eye, didn't try to contact him back even after spending three days contacting him incessantly and to no avail. but when pepper finally leaves the office, tony’s eyes are blazing with anger.
“i told you not to come here to the office,” he hisses, “you know better.”
“what was i supposed to do?” peter croaks out as tears start pooling in his eyes, “you didn’t even call me back—”
“we’re not having this conversation right now,” tony interjects as he slams his hands on the desk, “not here.”
peter can feel his legs wobble at the harshness of tony’s voice, feels his heart crumble as he makes no attempt to tell him this is all a bad dream. he hasn’t been able to eat since he found out, feeling sick every single time he strolls around the empty apartment. he hadn’t expected things to turn out this way, tried to rationalize that nothing’s gonna change. tony will still be his whenever he drifts by and he’ll kiss away every trace of pepper on his lips like he always has.
“please ,” he begs as he takes a step towards tony, “just…just please .”
tony’s eyes soften for a moment, his eyes drifting to the door before he cups peter’s cheek, “i can’t do this right now, baby. you have to go before someone sees you in this state.”
peter’s hand comes up to grip tony’s, watching intently as he dials for a chauffeur. he’s always so cold when they’re at risk of being seen, piercing through peter’s heart even after all these years. he knows tony’s just being careful, he’s protecting what they have. but even then, when he hops inside the car to ride back to his apartment, peter sobs as he recalls tony’s broken promises. and the ones that he knows are yet to come.
tony comes to his apartment that evening, hiding a velvet box inside the pocket of his trousers. he later on presents it to peter as a twisted promise, one where he vows to love peter forever. he allows himself to believe in such fantasies when tony slips the gold ring onto his finger, stares at it when they end up with tangled limbs in the bed.
"promise me you'll come see me more often," peter asks as tony's fingertips trace up and down his back, and tony nods absentmindedly, assuring him he will.
but just like he’d feared, tony’s visits become briefer and more scarce amidst new launches at stark industries and industry parties. he secretly knows there’s a third reason for his absence, one that he’d never mention to avoid hurting peter. wedding preparations . he’s read the rumors online about where it will be held, gearing up to be a lavish celebration. he receives an envelope from happy a couple weeks before the wedding, containing three first class plane tickets to bora bora; one with his name and the other two with mj and ned’s names.
happy mentions tony has rented a massive suite for him and his friends, that he can stay there with them for as long as he likes. he ends up heading there by himself, not wanting to share his misery and embarrassment with his friends. mj had texted him a screenshot of a news article she’d found announcing tony and pepper’s engagement a couple hours after he’d found out himself, followed by a what the fuck???????? the text had been left on read, peter feeling so humiliated he’d thrown his phone to the opposite side of the room. he’d hid in the apartment for months now, unable to face his friends and trying to deal with his fluctuating emotions.
every morning is a struggle, and he finds himself staring at his reflection in the mirror after every shower. he tries to practice a smile but he doesn't manage to make it seem genuine, almost wants to punch the glass as he becomes frustrated with himself. he can feel himself slowly becoming numb to every negative emotion, can only feel his emotions dwindle down to overwhelming happiness when tony’s around and downright devastation when he leaves. but he remains wrapped around tony’s finger even through his misery, continues waiting for him whether it be in his apartment or at the suite in bora bora, hands clasped on his lap as he tries not to think of tony’s sealing the promise of forever with someone else. and weeks later when he catches a glimpse of pepper dressed in white and tony smiling brightly, he slips the ring on his own finger off, throwing it across the bedroom as his heart finally cracks.