Work Text:
Click on image to see full size version
****
Langara:
On paper, the mission had sounded like a brilliant idea, and even if Colonel Telford had not sold it as a humanitarian endeavor then Rodney would have still agreed to go just to see his latest wormhole theory proved correct. He had learned so much about wormholes since going to Atlantis, even improving upon the work of the Ancients.
Although he had not been on board at the time, he had seen his work on the Ancients abandoned wormhole drive bring Atlantis to Earth in time to stop Earth being culled by a Wraith super-hive. His latest theory would open a Stargate to Destiny. It could not bring any of those stranded people home but it could at least allow the SGC to send desperately needed supplies of food and equipment, perhaps enough for the crew of Destiny to find their own way home.
Having been on board Destiny in a borrowed body, he had seen the poor conditions under which they barely survived. It rivaled all his fears concerning the original Atlantis expedition, that they would be trapped in a city beneath the waves on a distant world, with only the supplies they had carried through the Stargate during those thirty-eight minutes. They had based all their hopes on finding the city with enough power to connect back to Earth, only to find her ZPMs almost fully depleted. Instead they would have starved to death within four months if the Stargate had refused to connect to any world in Pegasus where they could gather, or trade for, essential supplies.
Unfortunately, the Langarans had not been willing to listen to Rodney's presentation on his theory. They wanted his math checked thoroughly before attempting something that had already seen the destruction of two similar Naquadah-cored planets. A small part of him could understand their reluctance but he had already verified the math and his theory with several of the most brilliant and knowledgeable people in this galaxy, including Eli Wallace. He would have happily discussed it with Jonas Quinn, who had proved remarkably intelligent for a Langaran, but Quinn had disappeared when the planet fell to the Ori and had not been heard of since. It would take months to explain his theory and math to any other Langaran scientist, and by then, those on board Destiny could be dead.
Quinn would have understood the math, especially as Rodney's additional research through the Atlantis database had revealed that Langara had been the original contact point for Destiny. From the few times they had conversed over the years, Rodney also knew that Quinn would have been just as intrigued by Destiny's mission as she traveled towards a signal that implied an intelligence present at the beginning of the known universe.
The deciding factor for this mission to Langara had been concern that Langara was considering joining the Lucian Alliance. If that happened, then any chance of opening a Stargate to Destiny would be lost.
With a little subterfuge and diplomatic smooching by Woolsey, two of Destiny's crew had used the communication stones to exchange bodies with the two highest ranking officials at the Langaran Stargate complex. Colonel Young had taken over Administrator Halpern's body, and swiftly gave the order to let in the team consisting of Rodney and the two SGC teams. Apart from the inadequate level of technology that had added a minor complication, Rodney had got his program up and running quickly, tapping into the Naquadah core of the planet to fuel the energy required to dial the ninth chevron. He started to reel off the chevrons as they locked into position.
And that was when it all went to pieces.
Rodney turned to Colonel Young, keeping his voice low but deadly serious. "While I'm stating the obvious, this mission is already a failure. It's only going to get worse."
Rodney could see that his words had gotten through to Colonel Young and he watched as Young moved back towards the Stargate, only to see an argument start up between Young and Telford. In the meantime, another chevron encoded and locked, bringing them to eight. The Langaran ambassador arrived with his men just as the final chevron locked, and the wormhole plumed outwards before settling back into the circle of the Stargate.
Just as Rodney had predicted, the planet remained as stable as ever.
"Do not fire. I repeat. Do not fire unless fired upon," Young ordered as armed men appeared on the balcony surrounding the power room that housed the Stargate.
They had done it. He had done it, but any sense of pride in his achievement was lost in the stand-off between the Langarans and Earth personnel. The Langaran ambassador stepped forward and even Rodney could tell that the man was supremely pissed.
"We just wanted to prove to you that it could be done," Telford stated loudly. "That's all we wanted to do."
"And what now, Colonel Telford? Do you use our world as a springboard for Earth's domination of the galaxy? Will we see SGC personnel taking over our Stargate? Our planet? For our own protection?"
Woolsey stepped forward. "Ambassador Ovirda, it was never our intention to take control of the Stargate away from the Langarans. This was a humanitarian mission, for the sake of the people trapped on Destiny."
"I commend your humanitarian efforts, Ambassador Woolsey, but not your methods."
Rodney looked between the two ambassadors, hating the churning in his gut that said things were only going to get worse, just as he had foretold. Damn, but he hated being right all the time.
"Perhaps we can negotiate the protection of your planet from the Lucian Alliance in exchange for... overlooking our indiscretion," Woolsey replied.
"Release Administrator Halpern and my captain, and I will consider releasing your men... but the Stargate will be removed from this facility immediately so this cannot happen again."
Woolsey turned to Young and Scott, and they nodded. Moments later, new personalities snapped through the bodies, looking both startled and momentarily confused until they realized they were back on their home world.
"Ambassador Ovirda!"
"Welcome back, Administrator Halpern." The Langaran ambassador straightened, and looked directly at Rodney. "Close down the Stargate."
Woolsey stepped forward, raising his hands in a placating gesture. "At least consider sending through supplies while we have a connection... food, water and medicine."
Halpern called out. "Ambassador, I was just on their ship. Their plight is real. They are in dire need of those supplies, and of clothing and armaments."
Ovirda seem to ponder this for a moment before nodding. "I am not without compassion for the plight of your people, Ambassador Woolsey." He turned to his aide. "Gather all the supplies available, and send them through."
Rodney closed his eyes in relief. At least some good had come of this disastrous mission, but he was getting too old for all this, unlike Colonel Adrenaline-Junkie, who had been forced to sit this one out. When he got back to Atlantis, he planned to stay in his laboratory for a month. Rodney watched as crate after crate was pushed through, even seeing some of the Langarans removing layers of their clothing and adding it to the pile along with industrial jump suits.
Telford stepped forward again, but the guards pushed him back. "Ambassador. Let me go through too."
Ovirda's smile was diplomatic and cold. "I need you and Ambassador Woolsey to carry the terms of our agreement back to Earth. However, I see no reason to deprive your lost companions of additional military and scientific expertise. Captain?"
"Yes sir!"
It took a moment to parse Ovirda's words because if he was saying what Rodney believed he was saying, then this mission had surpassed worst ever and gone straight into an unmitigated disaster.
"What? You can't possibly mean...?" He looked back over his shoulder as he was herded along the short walkway towards the open Stargate, protesting loudly all the way. "You cannot do this. I'm needed back on Earth."
He could hear Woolsey trying to reason with Ovirda and thought for one small moment that Woolsey had managed to convince Ovirda to send them back to Earth instead - right until the first member of SG teams four and five was forced across the event horizon. He pressed back against the guard as he was shoved forward another step, but the guards pushed harder.
The next thing he knew, he was falling to his knees, hands out to brace himself as the weight of another man fell over him. He could hear yelling and gasped as someone grabbed his arm and dragged him to the side. Behind him, the remainder of the two SG teams came through, looking just as shocked and fearful as Rodney. Their weapons followed, clattering to the gate room floor.
"On no. Oh no, no, no." He dropped back on his ass. "This cannot be happening!"
"McKay?"
He blinked up to find Young - the real Colonel Young - standing over him looking just as shocked. Behind him the Stargate shut down abruptly, leaving them in the dimly lit gate room on board Destiny.
"What the hell happened? Where's Telford... and Woolsey?" Young demanded.
"They're... Ovirda's sending them back to Earth."
Young looked confused. "He said he'd let the rest of you go!"
Rodney sat up straighter, swallowing hard against the nausea that had risen into his throat. He stared back up at Young, feeling cold with shock. "He has let us go."
****
Earth:
"Where is he?" John demanded, and Telford had the good grace to look ashamed, averting his eyes from John's hard stare.
"Once we have renewed contact with Destiny, I'll know for certain what has become of Doctor McKay and the two SG teams sent to Langara." He sank into the chair beside the communication stones and lowered his head for a moment before meeting John's angry glare once more. "It was never supposed to turn out this way."
"No shit, Telford!" John turned his glare towards O'Neill, who looked just as pissed at the turn of events. Telford's demeanor changed suddenly. He stood up and saluted O'Neill.
"It's Colonel Young, sir."
O'Neill stepped in before John could speak. "McKay and the SG teams?"
"They're on Destiny, sir." He glanced over towards John, looking apologetic. "McKay isn't exactly happy with the situation."
"He's not the only one, Colonel," John replied tersely but at least he knew Rodney was alive, and if he was bitching then he was unharmed - for now. That still left the problem of how they were going to get him back. Even if they could change the minds of the Langarans, and have them reconnect with Destiny, the link only went one way, otherwise John would be pushing to send in a rescue team instead of a bunch of diplomats.
Rodney was now trapped on Destiny with all the others, and unless he found something that both Rush and Eli Wallace had overlooked then he wasn't going to be getting back any time soon. The very thought of leaving Rodney millions of light years beyond his protection was impossible for John to contemplate so it didn't leave John with a whole lot of options. If he couldn't get Rodney home then John needed to find a way to reach him.
The Langarans were still his best bet, if he could convince them to open up a wormhole so he could step through onto Destiny.
John looked to O'Neill. "General, the Langarans-."
"Have made their decision." O'Neill sighed and scrubbed a hand across his face. "We betrayed them, and going by past differences of opinion, it will take years to restore their trust."
Years. Waiting years was something John was not prepared to do. There had to be an alternative.
"There's another problem," Young stated. "We've had a couple of run-ins with an alien fleet. From what we can tell, they're machines, but the drones seem to be pre-programmed to destroy all sentient life."
"Replicators?" John asked.
"No. Something different. Like intelligent weapons left over from a war. I think they've locked onto Destiny as a threat and are tracking us."
O'Neill nodded, and John wondered if this day could get any worse. "Keep me posted, Colonel."
Young saluted, and the communication link broke, leaving Telford back in his own body.
"Colonel Telford?" O'Neill ordered.
Telford cleared his throat. "Even with the supplies sent through by the Langarans, they have only a few months before they are in real trouble again. They're worried about this drone problem."
"Yeah. Colonel Young mentioned it." John stated. "So we need to find another way to reach Destiny."
Telford shook his head in annoyance. "Well, if you have any ideas, Colonel Sheppard, then I'm all ears."
****
Returning to Atlantis, John made his way to the Infirmary. With Woolsey still caught up in the aftermath of the disastrous mission to Langara, he knew it fell to him to tell Keller what had happened to Rodney. It wasn't the first time he'd had to be the bearer of bad news but he still dreaded it every time. He found Keller in her office, working through a stack of medical reviews and managed a small smile in greeting.
"Colonel! Have you seen Rodney? He promised to take me into San Francisco this evening."
John knew from experience that being direct was the best approach. "Something went wrong on the mission."
Her eyes widened. "Is he hurt?" She jumped up, reaching for her medical kit. "I can-."
"Jennifer." The name felt awkward as he rarely used it, preferring to keep his relationship with Keller strictly professional despite her being Rodney's girlfriend, but it had the desired effect of making her stop and pay attention. She sank back into her seat, the color draining from her face.
"Is he...?"
"What? No! No. He's not dead but..." Damn, he was no good at this. "He's on Destiny."
"I don't...? The Ancient ship? It worked? His theory worked?"
She started to smile, and John had to admit that the only part of that mission that had gone well was Rodney's part in it. Most of Rodney's theories went straight over his head but there was a certain eloquence to those particular power equations that had made others smack their foreheads for not seeing the possibility earlier. Rodney really was a genius in that respect.
"Yeah... but something went wrong on the actual mission, and now he's on Destiny with the others." He could tell she didn't understand the ramifications of his words.
"So you can use his work and reconnect...."
"Even if we could, the wormhole only goes one way."
"He went through the Stargate to Destiny?"
"They didn't give him a choice."
"Then how's he going to get back?"
And that was when words failed him, but he could tell by her face that she finally understood. With regret, he whispered, "I'm sorry."
****
Destiny:
Rodney knew he was still in shock. He sank down onto the surprisingly comfortable bed in a set of crew quarters opened especially for him to use. He was still clutching the thick Langaran blanket, a few items of clothing and basic hygiene necessities - soap and a towel. All they had to do now was slam the door and he'd feel like one of the new inmates in a prison movie: except they didn't have to lock the door to imprison him. The ship was a prison in its own right; a beautiful prison, but wasn't there some saying about gilded cages?
He set aside the pile and shrugged out of his TAC vest, only slightly relieved that he'd filled the pockets of his vest and jacket to the brim just as he used to do on missions with John.
John.
The name seemed to slam into his chest, making it hard to breathe and he doubled over, trying to fend off the imminent panic attack.
John was going to be so pissed at Woolsey, at Telford, O'Neill. Hell, he was going to be just as pissed at Rodney for taking on this mission in the first place... or at himself for not being on the mission with him. Rodney could almost hear him now, and see that hard, angry stare and those tightly pressed lips. The usual slouch would be gone along with all the loose-limbed pretense of ease, lost in a body held so rigid that Rodney feared it would snap in half if either of them so much as moved. Then would come the realization that being pissed wasn't going to change anything, and he'd start thinking. Stupid ideas. Suicidal ideas... like breaking the window of Rodney's lab and scaling the tower during that lock down.
At the time, Teyla had teased that he had done it for Rodney, concerned that he would be freaking out while trapped in the Botany lab with no access to either a radio or a computer. Rodney had rolled his eyes... and had then taken quick and decisive action upon the hapless marine who had overheard and had likened him to a hairless Rapunzel. Fortunately, the marine was wise enough to keep that remark to himself after Rodney was through with him. It was bad enough that he'd discovered that he really had nothing much to say to Katie once they were trapped together with no other distractions, without worrying over John's reputation. His thoughts returned to Katie. They really had nothing in common, and that phallic cactus she had named after him had been decidedly creepy. Even John had thought so.
John.
He needed to use the communication stones and tell him not to do anything stupid... or suicidal. And what had John said to Colonel Young anyway? Right about what exactly? Was Young going to start threatening him with lemons just like Colonel Mitchell had that other time? Oh, he'd been plenty pissed at Sheppard over that incident, and more so when Ronon likened it to pulling his pigtail in some juvenile display of affection. Yet, strangely, Rodney could believe that of John, who was probably more emotionally repressed and socially awkward than Rodney, which was saying something. Even Jeannie thought they were perfectly matched - once she had gotten to know John a little better.
Rodney made his way to the communications room in time to see Young tense and stand up, addressing Lieutenant Scott.
"It's Colonel Telford. Report, Lieutenant."
"Colonel?" Rodney interrupted.
Telford turned to face him. "Doctor McKay. I'm sorry about what happened but we need to focus right now on Destiny." He turned back to Scott. "What's the current situation? Supplies? Ordnance?"
"The Langarans sent through a lot of stuff but," he turned to Rodney, "no offense, McKay, we also got an extra nine mouths to feed. Wray figures we can stretch the resources for a few months... but no more than that."
"You said Rush now has limited control over Destiny."
"We can drop in and out of F.T.L at will, but we can't turn her around."
Rodney huffed. "And what would be the point of that? This ship has been traveling towards the center of the universe at Faster Than Light speed for several hundred thousand years," he emphasized. "Even at full engine capacity, it would take the same amount of time to get back. No, our priority must be restoring sufficient power to the Stargate to connect back to Earth." He looked away in dismay. "That was the whole point of making the connection from Langara... to send through the necessary equipment and supplies while using the stones to send the expertise."
"We can still use the stones to gain experts-."
Rodney snorted. "I'm the foremost expert in Ancient technology, and now it seems I'm stuck here. But without access to essential components and equipment...." He let the words hang knowing Telford got the message.
"Then what can you do, McKay?"
"I... don't know. I need to speak to Rush and Eli. Look over the data they've already collected. Familiarize myself with Destiny's systems."
"Then perhaps you'd better get started."
Rodney stared at Young - Telford - for a moment longer before nodding. He knew the military mindset and Telford was little different in that respect, so demanding access to the stones was a battle to fight another day. As he started to walk away, he overheard Scott.
"We have another problem, Colonel. Rush scanned ahead to the next drop-out point. There's a drone already lying in wait."
Rodney had kept abreast of the difficulties encountered by Destiny, but had focused on the internal issues. These drones were a recent external factor but if they were starting to anticipate where Destiny would drop out of F.T.L to gather supplies then they could become a major problem. He needed to speak to Rush and Eli about that too.
He found them in Destiny's control room and like all good scientists, it took only a few minutes before they were arguing over inconsistencies and theories.
****
Destiny:
"Welcome to Destiny, Colonel Sheppard."
John blinked and waited for the strange sense of displacement to dissipate before standing up. He felt strange, no longer so attuned to his body... but then it wasn't his body, it was Doctor Rush's. Rush had needed to speak with some specialist on Earth and John had reluctantly offered up the use of his body on condition that Rush did nothing unethical while inside it. He had heard a few tales of inappropriate use of another's body, and even Rodney still ranted about waking up naked in Cadman's bed and, worse, finding himself freshly showered and without his usual morning erection. He had wanted to press charges of assault but as, technically speaking, it had also been Cadman's body at the time, John had left it at a warning - off the record.
In the end, Rodney had decided he did not want to know what she had done with his body while his mind was unconscious, leaving her in control, but John had always wondered, especially after watching Rodney's body kissing Carson. He recalled confronting her the day before she went back to Earth on the Daedalus, only slightly mollified to learn that she'd indulged in that little private exploration - alone.
John didn't need to be psychoanalyzed to know he had a possessive streak a mile wide when it came to Rodney. It was why he pointed out Rodney's personality flaws to anyone who might be interested in taking Rodney away from him - like Mitchell, Telford and Young. It was why he had kept a professional distance from other rivals for Rodney's friendship and affection - like Katie Brown and Jennifer Keller, and even Sam Carter despite that being more of a one-way crush on Rodney's part. He hadn't wanted any of them to look any deeper and see the real affection he had for Rodney that went beyond simple friendship.
Simple.
There was nothing simple about Rodney. He was the most complex person John had ever met, with his idiosyncrasies, his allergies - both real and imagined - and his worst case scenario attitude that some would call pessimistic but John knew was realistic. Many believed Rodney a coward but John saw only his courage, knowing Rodney lived with the knowledge of most everything that could possibly go wrong at any given moment and yet he still did what he had to do.
That took courage.
The Langaran mission was a case in point. If it hadn't already been overloaded with Colonels - too many chiefs, as O'Neill politely put it - then John would never have let him go without him. A month had passed since then and John still regretted his decision to step down, as ordered.
"Colonel Young," he stated in greeting, and followed Young from the communications room. "So, what's the sit-rep?"
"We haven't made planet fall in a month. Every time we've tried, they've either been waiting for us or a drone fleet arrives soon after. We nearly didn't escape last time. McKay has managed to increase energy storage capacity to 46%, but it's still not enough. I figure we only have a few weeks before the situation turns critical."
"So what aren't you telling me?"
Young gave him an uncomfortable look. "Eli had an idea, and McKay is working on it."
"What idea?"
They entered a chamber lower in the ship, but John didn't need to know where they were because Destiny was not so dissimilar to another Ancient ship he had once boarded - the Aurora - except the stasis banks were upright like the ones on Atlantis. He heard a familiar voice and felt a rush of desperation and need wash over him, wanting to see the owner of that voice.
"Rodney."
Rodney turned and stared at him in surprise. He looked different - thinner, more gaunt, with over a day's beard growth, and with dark circles under his eyes that spoke of long hours and fatigue. He was wearing two layers - a lower long-sleeved shirt covered by a military olive green t-shirt, and both looked worn as if he'd nothing else to wear since arriving on Destiny, which was likely the case.
"John?"
Young looked between them. "I need to speak with Eli and Brody."
John nodded absently, wondering what had given him away from inside Rush's body. He waited until Young was out of earshot. "How's it going, buddy?"
"Um... We've started putting the stasis pods online. Destiny originally had a crew complement similar to the numbers currently on board so..." Rodney faltered. "But that's not what you wanted to know." He gave a tired smile. "Fine... I'm doing fine... or as well as can be expected under the circumstances."
Seeing Rodney made him understand how hard it was to hold back on a desire to touch, to hold, kiss and caress. He had spent years repressing that desire while in his own body, making it no harder to restrain himself in Rush's body now - though mostly because he had rarely had the opportunity to satisfy his desires regarding Rodney. Just a clasp on the shoulder here, a head slap there. He realized how much harder it would be to suppress the desire to touch a loved one if he had already known them intimately, finally understanding why some stepped over the line drawn for appropriate behavior when given the opportunity.
"How long?"
Rodney didn't try to dodge the question. "Three years... approximately. Unless something else goes wrong and we end up drifting for a thousand years." His expression sobered. "We don't have a choice, John. We're only a third of the way through this galaxy, and we've been hounded every step of the way. In three years we'd have left this galaxy behind and should have crossed the void to the next."
"Colonel Sheppard." John snapped his head up as the SGC formed around him. "I'm sorry, sir. Doctor Rush was impatient to get back to Destiny."
John nodded, carrying one more precious memory of Rodney away with him as he beamed back to Atlantis.
****
Earth:
"Jennifer? It's me. Rodney."
Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him but he could understand the reaction. It wasn't his body or his voice but stranger things had happened on Atlantis, and Jennifer had also been the victim of a body swap once, using a similar device. He caught sight of his reflection and grimaced because the man staring back at him was different in more ways than Rodney could count, but at least it was a man. At least he wouldn't have to deal with a gender crisis on top of everything else.
"Jennifer. I... I won't be able to see you again for two, maybe three years and I," he broke off. "I wanted to...." Despite his lack of people skills, Rodney knew the expression that crossed her face, having seen it reflected in the mirror upon his real face too many times to count - guilt and regret. "Jennifer?"
"Colonel Sheppard told me, and I'm... I'm sorry, Rodney. Please don't ask me to wait for you. I can't. I have my whole life ahead of me and I can't..." Her voice broke up. She leaned in, kissing his cheek quickly as if touching a stranger - which under the circumstances was almost true. "I'm sorry."
"Jennifer?"
But she turned and walked away, leaving Rodney devastated. He thought Jennifer loved him but if he was brutally honest with himself, their relationship had started to falter soon after Atlantis landed on Earth. There had been so much to do, so much to organize, with an increased compliment of scientists pouring into his city and accessing her database. And then there was Destiny, and the breakthrough that had demanded all of his time for a month before the incident on Langara. He had never meant to neglect her, and the few times he had made time for her, they had spent it either arguing or saying nothing for fear of starting another argument.
He considered running after her - begging with her to give him another chance - but his feet seemed frozen to the ground. He had freely admitted once that he could be petty, selfish, and arrogant but he had never intentionally been cruel. The chances of finding another planet like Langara in this galaxy were slim and with the growing problems with the Lucian Alliance, the SGC's resources were spread too thin to put the plight of Destiny at the top of the list. If John had told her everything then she knew that he wouldn't be asking her to wait just a few years; he might never get home, and he couldn't ask her to wait forever on the off chance that they might be able to repair the damage to their relationship if he ever got back.
With a heavy heart, he contacted the Apollo and requested transport to Atlantis. He had already seen Jeannie, and his shoulder was still wet from her tears. The least he could do was say goodbye to the people on Atlantis that he had come to think of as family too: Teyla, Ronon, Radek, Carson... and John.
The familiar colors of the gate room coalesced around him and he felt a strange sense of deja-vu, recalling two other times when he had thought all was lost and this would be his final farewell to the people he cared about. He recalled the story of the boy who cried wolf, wondering if anyone would take him seriously for a third time. Woolsey was waiting for him and Rodney could read the survivor's guilt so keenly etched across his face, even though Woolsey tried to hide it behind a diplomatic mask. Swallowing hard, Rodney held out his hand, refusing to look down so he wouldn't be reminded that it wasn't his own body.
"Richard. It wasn't your fault. We both knew the risks."
Woolsey took his hand, looking sad but grateful. "Thank you. They're waiting for you in the briefing room."
Rodney nodded and followed Woolsey up the stairs, thankful that he would be able to say his farewell with some level of privacy. Everyone was there except for John, and he felt a sharp pain in his chest at the loss, but John had never been one for goodbyes. Teyla hesitated a moment before pulling him in, resting their foreheads together in Athosian style before hugging him tightly.
"I will miss you."
He felt overwhelmed by the almost desperate hugs and back slaps from Radek, Carson, and Ronon, blinking back tears. Ronon finished his bear hug by whispering in Rodney's ear, "He's waiting for you out on the pier."
Rodney didn't need to know which pier, and nodded to the others before heading for the transporter, but he stopped on the threshold and looked at his friends - his family.
"I'm... going to miss you all."
****
Rodney found John seated with his legs dangling over the edge and a six-pack of beers beside him. One of the cans was already empty.
"Starting without me?"
John hesitated a moment before he tipped his can in salute. He sipped at his second beer, casting sideways glances while he waited for Rodney to settle down beside him. Rodney could understand how strange it had to be for John as Corporal Osimba looked nothing like Rodney, with his dark skin and large, muscular frame. He watched as John put down his second beer and grabbed a third, popping the tab and handing it over. It tasted funny, but these were not Rodney's taste buds savoring the expensive import beer that John preferred when he could get it.
"I wanted to say-."
"No." John held up a finger. "You know how I feel about... that."
"I'm not losing my mind this time, John. I'm not burning out or fading away." He took a deep breath. "Even if Destiny makes it to the next galaxy within your lifetime, and we all wake up, there's no guarantee that we'll find food or water before we starve to death, and-."
"I said no, Rodney."
Rodney sighed. Saying goodbye to Jeannie and Jennifer had only been slightly easier. "We have the palladium hydride we needed to fix the final bank. The first group are already in stasis." He took a deep breath. "John. There's no guarantee we will ever find a way home, not unless the SGC stumbles across another Langara in another galaxy because, as far as the Ancient database goes, those three planets were it for this galaxy and Pegasus.
"Then I'll find another way."
"What? What way?"
John turned and stabbed him hard in the chest, which would have been more painful if he hadn't been wearing Osimba's body. His eyes were cold yet desperate. "I'm not giving up on you, Rodney. I don't care if it takes three years... or 48 thousand. I'm going to find you."
"Oh god," Rodney exclaimed softly as John turned back to the distant horizon with his shoulders stiff and back straight, seeing all the little pieces falling into place. "All this time and it was right beneath my nose." Rodney stared hard at John's profile. "You love me."
John coughed out a mouthful of beer, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand before casting an annoyed yet fearful glance in Rodney's direction.
"Sure, I do. As a friend loves...."
"No. You don't get to brush it off this time with some friendship... crap." Rodney poked him back hard and John shoved away his hand.
"Damn it, Rodney!"
"John...." Rodney pleaded, with anger coloring his voice.
The anger faded just as quickly as realization set in. His mind might be in this body but in reality, there was half a universe and over a thousand galaxies lying between them. Suddenly, he felt sick to his stomach. John had been his best friend for so long that he had never stopped to consider having anything more. Yet, when he thought about it, he had always made time for John - racing cars, watching movies and playing games - even during those first months back on Earth when he was so busy he had put off meeting with Jennifer. John had always come a close second to his work, perhaps even first on many occasions. It was little wonder that Jennifer had decided not to wait even a few years for him.
How could he have been so blind?
He chugged the last of the beer so quickly that he barely tasted it, and grabbed another can but set it aside after a single sip. Staring straight ahead, Rodney could see nothing but the blue of the Pacific Ocean to the far horizon. The sky was just as clear and blue, reflecting the color of the water.
"Clear blue skies," he murmured, echoing the words from long ago when he thought he was dying, and reached out to place his hand over John's, lacing their fingers. He saw John drop his head to his chest, eyes closing.
"I will find you," John stated softly. "If it takes a thousand years."
They glanced sideways at each other, and snorted, chuckling softly over the melodrama and the words of an Enya song.
"Could have been worse," John stated. "I could have started reciting Celine Dion lyrics."
"Just because I'm Canadian...."
"I know you have her greatest hits, Rodney. On your iPod."
"I'll have you know I had nothing to do with that. Jeannie-."
"Oh yeah, blame Jeannie all you want, McKay, but we all know you have a thing for power ballads."
"I do not!"
John laughed at Rodney's indignation, but they both sobered when Woolsey's voice came over the radio.
"I'm sorry, gentlemen. It's time, Doctor McKay."
"Yes. Well. Tell the Apollo to standby."
"Good luck, Rodney." Woolsey signed off and Rodney took a deep, ragged breath.
"I have to go now. Someone else needs the chance to say...." He left the rest unspoken, that others on Destiny needed time to say goodbye to their loved ones too. He climbed to his feet with far more grace than he usually managed in his own body, waiting until John was standing before him, and finding it weird that he was slightly taller for once. Rodney held out his hand and, after another moment of hesitation, John reached back and pulled him into a manly hug. It was awkward but Rodney knew it was heartfelt.
"I should have gone on that mission with you," John whispered.
"Would it be selfish of me to wish you had?" Without waiting for an answer, Rodney stepped back and tapped his radio. "Ready to transport."
He raised a hand to say farewell, eyes widening at the love and desperation so clear on John's face, no longer hidden. John's final words followed him into the Asgard beam.
"I will find you."
Moments later, Rodney was blinking rapidly as his eyes adjusted to the dimmer lighting within Destiny. Colonel Young was waiting for him and had the good sense not to welcome him back. Instead he was all business.
"Eli needs help with that last bank of stasis pods. Then it's time"
Rodney nodded, for once having nothing to say. At one point they thought they would have to ask eight people to commit suicide but working with Eli, Brody and Volker, taking only the minimum amount of rest, had paid off. They now had enough pods for everyone.
"Your turn, McKay." Young smiled encouragingly. Brody and Volker were already frozen, and it was only the four of them left now - Young, Eli, Rush and him.
"Are you sure? I can stay out a little longer if-."
"You've done a good job, McKay. Sheppard was right about that too," Young stated softly, with a smile.
He drew a deep breath as he looked at the small alcove holding the stasis pod, knowing his fear of the enclosed space was unreasonable as he wouldn't be aware of where he was once the stasis pod activated. Rodney nodded and stepped into the stasis unit, aware of Rush stepping into the one beside him. Turning, Rodney looked out at the two men whom he had known only a short time but had come to respect. He could understand why Young wanted Eli to be the last one to go into stasis. Young had come to rely on Eli since becoming trapped on board Destiny, whereas he was still a relatively unknown quantity - and Rush had too many hidden agendas to make him worthy of Young's trust.
Rodney nodded again as a farewell and looked down and away, letting his last thoughts fill with memories of John on the pier, and his promise to find him.
****
Earth:
"You can't have Atlantis," O'Neill stated firmly.
"Then let me have another ship. The Phoenix." John knew the Phoenix was a special ship - small but powerful - built for space exploration.
Carter looked from John to Radek, and John could see she was wondering why no one else had considered using the wormhole drive technology that Rodney had found as an unworkable prototype in the Ancient database, and had perfected. Something even the Ancients had not managed to achieve before they were forced to abandon Atlantis. It had saved the planet when it was used to bring Atlantis to Earth in time to engage the Wraith super-hive before it started culling. According to Rodney, it was instantaneous travel between any two points in the universe. As far as John knew, the military implications were already being assessed but it had one major drawback. It required an immense amount of power - the equivalent of three ZPMs - just to traverse a single galaxy.
Todd had led them to the small cache of ZPMs that he had taken from the Replicator home world before it was destroyed, and that had been enough to get Atlantis to Earth. Unless he had hundreds more stashed away somewhere that he was willing to hand over, they would have to seek an alternative power source. That was where Destiny came in. The Ancients had built her to recharge her power from the radiation of a star, and Radek had found the technical blueprints of the energy collectors in the Ancient database on Atlantis. From discussions with Jeannie and Radek, they estimated that for a ship the size of the Phoenix, it would take seconds to jump from one galaxy to the next but at least six hours to replenish the energy levels ready for the next jump, once it had found a suitable star.
With the slow pace of diplomatic relationships with Langara, it could be another five years before they agreed to put the Stargate back in their power facility - if ever. He estimated that, counting from the very first jump and barring no unforeseen circumstances, it would take just over a year to reach Destiny, so it looked like his best shot for keeping his promise to Rodney.
Carter looked bemused. "Even if you could retrofit the wormhole drive and install energy collectors to absorb the radiation - which is a major overhaul that could take years - no one on the Phoenix could survive the lethal levels of radiation. She's a mixture of Earth and Asgard technology, John. Not Ancient."
Her words triggered a thought that struck John hard. "No, she's not Ancient, but the Tria is."
O'Neill looked confused. "I thought she was destroyed when the Replicators attacked Atlantis."
"Rodney checked the logs and there was no record of her being in orbit at the time of the attack. I know Helia intended to leave the Tria at Midway until her people could work on repairs to the hyperdrive. What if the ship's still there?"
Carter was starting to look just as excited at the prospect, turning pleading eyes towards O'Neill. "Sir? Retrofitting an Ancient ship with the wormhole drive and energy collectors would take a fraction of the time, and she would already have Ancient shield technology. It could work."
"If she still exists," O'Neill emphasized.
"Sir?" Carter implored and O'Neill blew out his cheeks.
"You have a go... but don't make me regret this."
****
The Daedalus slowed as she reached the midway point between the two galaxies, and John smiled for the first time in over a month. The Tria had drifted a little during the years since she was abandoned but, otherwise, looked no different. Caldwell asked for an assessment and John listened as the information was relayed to him.
"Life support is at a minimum but breathable. No life signs registering on board."
Which didn't mean no one was home as far as John was concerned. The active stasis pods on the Aurora had not registered on the Daedalus's scanners, and neither did hibernating Wraith.
"Colonel?" Sam Carter looked eagerly at her equal in rank, deferring to Caldwell because he was the commander of the Daedalus.
"You and your team have a go, Colonel."
She grinned broadly and nodded to John and Radek. They suited up quickly and beamed over with a security team, sweeping the ship for any hibernating Wraith and checking the stasis pods for anyone left from Helia's crew, but the ship was empty. A ghost ship. Working with Radek, it didn't take Carter long to get life support fully operational and John pulled off the suit helmet, taking his first breath of the metallic-tinged air inside the Tria.
Radek wrinkled his nose. "Once the air has started to circulate properly, it will freshen."
"I hope so, or the first thing we bring on board is a crate of air freshener."
The Tria was laid out similar to the Aurora so it took them only a few minutes to make their way to the bridge. John felt a pang of regret fill him as he thought of Captain Helia and her crew. They had spent twelve of their years - ten thousand of his - heading towards the Milky Way at sublight speed after the Tria's hyperdrive had failed.
It had to have been a hard decision, knowing that it would take twenty-four of their years - and twenty thousand of his - to reach Earth, but the Wraith had taken over the whole of the Pegasus galaxy and the Ancients had abandoned Atlantis, sinking her beneath the waves, leaving the Tria with no safe port to make repairs. Although Helia never said anything, he suspected that she and her crew had lived in the hope of being met partway thousands of years before their eventual meeting with the Daedalus. Being kicked out of Atlantis had pissed him off royally, but he had understood her bitterness and her need to be alone to lick her wounds. The Ancients had abandoned more than just the Pegasus galaxy when they selfishly sought ascension, they had also abandoned Helia and her crew. Atlantis was all they had left.
Now even they were gone, destroyed by their own arrogance in believing that nothing had changed in ten thousand years, rather than listen to the advice of those less advanced yet ultimately more knowledgeable than them. He recalled the disdain some of the Tria's crew had for Rodney, believing they were light years ahead of him so refusing his offer of assistance. Yet it wasn't the Ancients who had managed to solve the problems of their failed wormhole drive and had gotten it to work. It was Rodney.
Carter interrupted his thoughts, smiling broadly as she moved from one console to another, following John as he initialized each station. It reminded him of those first moments in Atlantis, with Rodney trailing behind him, all excited like a kid with a new toy. Rodney had never lost that sense of wonderment, his blue eyes shining with every new discovery, and it seemed that Carter and Radek were no different in that respect.
He smiled at the memory, and waited patiently for their assessment.
Eventually, Radek tugged off his glasses and rubbed at tired, blue eyes. "She is in relatively good shape. Hyperdrive engine can be fixed in one month, and then we can take her to the nearest Stargate on the edge of the Milky Way."
Carter carried on. "Bringing engineers and parts will be easier if we don't have to rely on the Daedalus for transportation."
John agreed. It made sense not to depend too greatly on any of the Earth ships while problems with the Lucian Alliance were escalating. He was also glad that Carter hadn't insisted on taking the Tria all the way back to Earth. The IOA and Homeworld Security had already wrapped Atlantis up in so much red tape that it was unlikely she would return to Pegasus in the foreseeable future, much to Ronon and Teyla's displeasure. John could see the IOA turning those same avaricious eyes upon the Tria once she was operational, despite O'Neill's promise.
For a moment John thought of Atlantis. His role as military commander had been scaled back, with whispers of the post being replaced with a full bird colonel any day now. As it was unlikely that he would see another promotion so soon, especially as there had been so many against his previous promotion to lieutenant colonel, he had already known that his days on Atlantis were numbered.
If it had happened six months earlier then he would have fought tooth and nail to retain his position, but these last few months had proved that it was Rodney that had made Atlantis feel like a home. John still felt the tingle of her presence whenever he was in the city, keyed to the Ancient DNA in his bloodline, and it was still cool to open doors and turn on things with his mind. Yet even though Atlantis was now swarming with scientists and military, without Rodney's larger-than-life presence the city seemed cold and empty - just like she had 48 thousand years into the future, before he'd activated the hologram of Rodney.
O'Neill had offered to make John's command of the Tria official - if they found her and could make the necessary modifications for her to catch up with Destiny - and he had already brought Woolsey in on the plan. Out of friendship, and perhaps also out of guilt for Rodney's current predicament following the disastrous Langaran mission, Woolsey had willingly agreed to help them keep the IOA at a safe distance.
It was the best that John could ask for under the circumstances.
"Fourteen months," Radek stated.
"Really?" Carter looked bemused. "I was thinking closer to eleven."
"Eleven months before what?" John asked.
Carter smiled. "Before we can test the wormhole drive and energy collectors."
He worked out the math in his head. It had already taken a month to reach the Tria, and now a further eleven months before starting trials. Factoring in the thirteen to fifteen months to reach Destiny, it meant they could be waiting for her at that first Stargate in the next galaxy.
"Then we'd best get started," he said, feeling a swell of hope inside.
****
As John had expected, he was reassigned to the SGC only a few months after finding the Tria, with Caldwell taking over his post as military commander of Atlantis. There were still arguments over the fate of the city but both the IOA and the majority of Homeworld Security wanted her to stay in the Milky Way to help fight the Lucian Alliance, abandoning Pegasus for now.
"You know the Wraith are still a very real threat to this galaxy," John stressed, and he could see from O'Neill's expression that he agreed.
O'Neill winced. "But, right now? They're not as great a threat as the Lucian Alliance. We lost two more worlds to them over the past month, and Langara is next on their hit list."
"Sir, the least you can do is get Teyla and Ronon home."
"As soon as we can spare a ship, I'll have them dropped off at the first Stargate in Pegasus, but I can't promise more than that."
John nodded, knowing it was the best he could expect as, without Atlantis in Pegasus, there was no need for any Earth ships to head that way. The opportunity came only a week later and John was tempted to hide rather than have to say goodbye. He hated saying this kind of goodbye, preferring to believe that it was only temporary and that they would meet again soon.
Teyla seemed to understand this, pulling him down into an Athosian forehead gesture. "We will meet again, John Sheppard. If not in this life, then in the next."
Ronon had merely grunted a, "See you around, Sheppard," before slapping him hard on the back; so John should not have been surprised when he entered the gate room in Cheyenne Mountain two days later, ready to take his SG team out into the field for the first time, to find Ronon waiting for him.
"I thought you headed out?"
"Thought wrong."
"Why?"
Ronon smiled and gave a tiny shrug. "Made a promise to kill every Wraith... or die trying." He shrugged again. "I kept that promise... and died trying."
John winced as he recalled the heavy grief of losing Ronon during the battle on the super-hive, and the joy when he discovered Ronon had been returned to life by a Wraith seeking to interrogate him. From personal experience, he knew the Wraith could return the life force they had taken, but he hadn't known they could bring a human back from the dead - though he suspected it had only worked because the restoration came so soon after death.
"Now I'm keeping another promise," Ronon added.
"And what promise is that?"
"The promise I made to Teyla, to keep you safe and help you find McKay."
****
Trudging back through the Stargate ten months later, covered in mud and soaked through to the bone, John frowned when he found O'Neill waiting for him in the SGC gate room. He stood to attention and saluted, relaxing as O'Neill quickly waved him down.
"How did it go?"
"Usual. Rain, pine trees... homicidal natives."
O'Neill grinned and turned away, obviously expecting John to follow so John handed off his P90 to Ronon, and quickly caught up.
"General?"
He was not surprised when O'Neill led him straight to the infirmary where Lam was waiting, as not even a two-star general had the courage to take on Doctor Lam. She considered post-mission medicals one of the most important aspects of her job, and after the Ori plagues, no one dared argue. O'Neill sat down on the med bed opposite, swinging his legs and kicking his heels like an overactive seven-year-old.
Post-mission medicals were a common process to him now so John went through the motions without conscious thought, stripping off his TAC vest and jacket, and offering up his arm for blood-taking. All through the initial process, O'Neill kept smirking, obviously waiting to have his chance to say something to John. Lam gave O'Neill a steely look but otherwise ignored him as she went through her mental checklist. By now the infirmary was filled with the rest of his team and John could see Ronon looking over with curiosity. John gave him a half-shrug. He stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers for the rest of the medical, grateful that it gave him a chance to get out of the wet gear and into dry clothing; Lam kept spare sets of scrubs around for this reason.
"You can go, Colonel. Normal off-world procedures apply."
"Sure, doc."
Normal off-world procedures were to report back if he felt or saw anything wrong - medically speaking. He desperately wanted to grab a shower but John could tell O'Neill was equally desperate to tell him something, and O'Neill outranked him.
"Follow me, Colonel."
Casting another glance in Ronon's direction, John followed him to the mess where he was even more confused when O'Neill picked up coffee and cake for both of them. John felt a burn inside his chest as he looked as the lemon sponge placed before him. Part of him had hoped these months would go quickly, taken up by missions as they continued to engage the Lucian Alliance off-world. It was the slow parts though; the days between missions and the long empty nights that gave him too much time to think of Rodney. It was stupid reminders like a piece of lemon sponge, recalling how Rodney would rant when it was the last dessert on the shelf. It was remembering that quirky smile and those waving hands, and the way Rodney always sought him out when he had discovered something, even if it was as unexciting as an entry for the Flagecallus - the Lantean whale - on the Ancient database.
He missed Rodney.
He often dreamed of him. Sometimes they were hot, wet dreams with the slide of flesh on flesh, and John awoke either achingly hard or in a sticky mess. At other times it was simple, companionable dreams; sitting out on the pier talking, walking through meadows side-by-side, but he also had occasional nightmares, watching as Rodney withered away into old age within his stasis coffin as Destiny drifted for eternity, lost to him. Memories of the crew of the Aurora, grown old inside their stasis pods, fueled those particular nightmares.
John picked up his fork and took a bite. It was good.
"The Tria's ready for trials," O'Neill stated between sips of coffee.
John felt amazed that O'Neill and Woolsey had managed to keep the Tria under wraps for as long as they had, as he had seen the political pressures mounting to supply more ships to the conflict with the Lucian Alliance. With so many technicians working on her, the rumors had started to surface a few months back, causing a stir among the ranks. Sam and Radek had kept him updated with their progress, so he had been aware of the two month delay in getting both the wormhole drive and solar energy collectors operational - mostly due to losing Carter's expertise on and off to work on other essential projects. The delay would have been greater still if it had not been for Radek's relentless push forward without Sam, and proved conclusively why Rodney had placed so much trust in Radek.
Despite the good news and O'Neill's original promise, John had seen his chances of taking command diminish with each passing month.
"There's a few full bird colonels and one-star generals who thought they should have command, so..." O'Neill drew out an envelope and handed it over.
John opened it, looking up in shock after reading the contents. "Promotion?"
"Full bird, effective immediately."
O'Neill slid across another envelope, and John's fingers trembled as he opened the second envelope that held new orders following his promotion.
"She's all yours, Sheppard." O'Neill grinned. "So where do you want me to do the honors?"
It took a moment for John to understand what he was asking, and John licked his lower lip thoughtfully.
Over this last year, all attempts to negotiate with the Langarans for the use of their Stargate had fallen through, mainly because the Langarans focus was on protecting their planet from an incursion. With the ever increasing number of skirmishes with the Lucian Alliance, that threat had become more real with each passing day. Just over a month earlier, Homeworld Security and the IOA finally decided to downgrade the fate of Destiny and those on board her to MIA - Missing in Action - but no one at the SGC had forgotten them.
Though John would have loved to be on board the Tria when O'Neill pinned on the full bird insignia, he owed it to his team - and to the other SGC teams that he occasionally worked alongside - to let them see him promoted, and for them to learn of his new orders. Most of them only knew Rodney by reputation - both the good and the bad - but they had all known members of SGC teams four and five - who had been forced through the wormhole onto Destiny with Rodney.
John's orders were to chase after Destiny, and if possible, to bring their people home.
"Here, sir."
O'Neill smiled. "I thought you might say that so you have thirty minutes to get ready, Colonel."
"Yes, sir." John pushed up from the table and saluted sharply, out of the greatest respect for O'Neill, before rushing out of the mess.
The actual promotion ceremony went by in a blur, but the congratulations he received were heartfelt as he had earned the respect of the other members of the SGC over this past year. When his orders were read out, the excitement grew almost to fever pitch, and he accepted the handshakes, back slaps and hugs without flinching.
He was right. No one here had forgotten the Destiny.
John's first task as captain of the Tria was to put together a crew - something he had been planning for months anyway. Requesting Radek as his chief scientist and engineer was a given as no one else knew the ship better than him, and Ronon would take command of security, having proved himself more than capable during this past year. It was almost as if releasing himself from his Wraith promise had given him a healthier respect for his future.
John needed a medical doctor but the one time he had run into Keller in the corridors of the SGC had been awkward at best, and under the circumstances she was the last person he wanted to take with him, even if she asked to go. He approached Carson instead, but through some clever manipulation of data and facts, the SGC had managed to reunite Carson with his family on Earth. With his mother so frail, Carson had turned John down but he had offered up a recommendation of Doctor Cole.
That still left plenty of posts, including First Officer, and John was surprised when Lorne turned up on the doorstep of his off-base apartment. John invited him into the small apartment, ignoring Lorne's comment on the obvious lack of personal belongings, but he had never intended to stay on Earth.
"Permission to speak freely, sir?"
John waved for him to continue as he reached into the refrigerator, wondering what could be on his former 2IC's mind.
"I want to go with you."
John stared hard for a moment in surprise. "You sure, Evan?" He invited Lorne to sit down on a mismatched armchair in the main room before handing him a cold beer. After a long overdue promotion to Lieutenant Colonel, he thought Lorne would be pushing for a command of his own. "This could be a one way trip."
"I was short listed for the first expedition to Atlantis, but I met someone and thought it could go somewhere. It didn't, and I always regretted not being part of the original expedition."
"And what about Atlantis?"
"She's not the same... and, anyhow, if your 48 thousand year jaunt into the future has any relevance, then she'll still be waiting when we get back."
John smiled. "Then I'll see what strings I can pull."
Two days later, John looked around his empty apartment for the last time and pulled the door closed behind him. Within a few hours, he was standing on the gate room floor at the SGC with Ronon, Lorne and Cole. O'Neill came forward, pausing a few steps in front of him, and returned John's salute with a crispness John had not seen from him before. Afterwards, O'Neill held out his hand.
"Bring them home, Colonel."
"Yes, sir."
O'Neill stepped back and, seconds later, the light of an Asgard transporter beam caught John and the others, and John grinned widely as the bridge of the Tria formed around them.
****
There were teething problems but the first jump went ahead as scheduled, taking them to the Othalla galaxy, which had once been the home of the Asgard. Finding a suitable star and refueling took only a few hours and John waited for the computer to calculate the next jump before giving the order. As with the first jump, a strange sensation went through him as the wormhole drive engaged and the Tria jumped. It wasn't exactly unpleasant and John hoped it was something they would all get used to feeling.
"Two down, one thousand, six hundred and eighty-three to go," he stated softly, and watched as the ship moved into hyperspace in search of the next suitable star for refueling using the solar energy collectors.
They dropped out of hyperspace two thirds of the way across the next galaxy, and John watched in fascination as a new star loomed ahead of them, caught by the beauty of colors dancing off the shields as the Tria dived through the photosphere. He saw the fuel level indicators increase rapidly and, ten minutes later, the Tria was heading back out and preparing for the next jump.
John knew this would be his life for the foreseeable future - jump and star dive, jump and star dive. Some jumps would take longer than others to calculate, and sometimes it would take far longer to find the right star for refueling, but when he went off duty that night, he crossed the first day off his calendar.
"Three galaxies down," he murmured. There was still so far to go to reach Destiny, but when John went to sleep that night, he had sweet dreams of Rodney.
****
Over a Year Later:
It was just another day - jump and star dive - but as they jumped this time, the klaxon sounded and data began to stream over the main view screen. On every previous occasion, this had not been a good sign but Radek had worked miracles to keep both the wormhole drive and the collectors working at optimum performance.
"What is it?" John asked as he stepped onto the bridge, taking the captain's chair that Lorne quickly vacated.
"I'm not sure," Lorne stated. "Wormhole drive appears to be functioning within acceptable parameters. Energy collectors are coming online as expected." He pulled up another display, freezing for a moment. "Sir, I think the sensors picked up Destiny."
John swallowed hard and cleared his throat before passing a hand over the communication panel built into the arm of his seat.
"Radek? What have we got?"
"Yes. It is Destiny. She is approximately two months away from this galaxy at F.T.L."
"Parker. Turn us around," John ordered, not wanting to head further into this galaxy until they needed to refuel.
"Aye, aye, sir."
"Let's see if we can find a planet with a Stargate." John knew the Ancients had sent Stargate Seed ships ahead of the Destiny but he also knew that at least two had never made it this far. For all anyone knew, the Tria may have reached the edge of the known universe as far as the non-ascended Ancients were concerned. "Call all department heads to the Briefing Room in fifteen," he ordered.
John left Lorne back in command, knowing Lorne would hand over to his second officer and join him in the briefing room in fifteen minutes. For now, John needed to grab a few minutes alone. He returned to his quarters and sank down onto the edge of his bed, burying his head in his hands. He had been waiting for this moment for over two years, but now he was within reach of Rodney, he felt terrified. What if everything had gone wrong? What if the stasis pods had failed? The vivid memory of Rodney's dead body on board the parallel universe Daedalus still haunted him. That Rodney had probably starved to death, and John feared the same could have befallen his Rodney if the pods had failed. He took a few deep breaths and called upon his military training to push aside the fear.
Taking another deep breath, John stood up and made his way to the briefing room. When he arrived, the others were already seated around the conference table, chatting excitedly. John brought them to order quickly.
"Doctor Zelenka?"
Radek looked up from his computer and pushed his glasses back up his nose. "I need to... Yes." He typed in a few commands and brought the main control screen to life. "It is most certainly Destiny. However, she will fall short of this galaxy. Before they chose to take this option, I discussed the calculations with Rodney and Eli Wallace. There was very little margin for error, and no one could have anticipated the gravitational pull of a black hole at the edge of the last galaxy pulling Destiny off course by a small fraction. This course was corrected, but..." He shrugged.
John continued. "But it wasted more energy than they could afford."
This was the scenario that everyone had dreaded but they'd had little option but to take the risk. Two months in F.T.L equated to over a thousand years drifting in ordinary space once the ship dropped out of F.T.L, even taking inertia into account.
"Yes. They will drop out of F.T.L in twenty-nine days time... but there is more bad news." John waved Radek to continue. "We cannot locate any Stargates in the immediate vicinity. Obviously, there are no maps such as those we found in the Ancient database on Atlantis. It could take months to search for the Naquadah energy signal given off by a Stargate."
Lorne leaned forward. "The Ancient Seeder ships might never have made it this far."
Radek nodded. "Yes. This is also true."
To John's knowledge, Destiny had come across at least one seeder ship hanging dead in space. If it had been the only one sent in this direction then the last galaxy, with the drone ships, was the last place seeded with Stargates. It was a sobering thought that they might be standing at the edge of the known universe.
"Then what are our options?" John asked.
"First, we could head towards Destiny in hyperspace, and be ready to meet her when she drops out of F.T.L." Radek stated.
"Or we can check out the local solar systems while we wait for her to drop out of F.T.L and then use the wormhole drive to jump to her," Lorne added.
"Radek?"
Radek shrugged. "Both have their merit."
"Status of supplies?" John asked, looking to Ronon and waiting as Ronon tapped out the commands on his laptop, having become very proficient over the past few years.
The Ancients had built the Tria to carry a crew of eighty with room for an additional sixty passengers as long as those passengers traveled in stasis. As Destiny carried ninety-three people, that meant John had to reduce his crew to a maximum of forty-seven or risk running out of breathable air while looking for a suitable planet to replenish the air supply between jumps on the journey home. For this reason, every member of his crew had taken on multiple duties, and Ronon had proved excellent as both the ship's quartermaster as well as the Tria's main weapons control officer.
Ronon looked up. "Still more than enough to get us and Destiny's people home once we take them on board."
John looked around the table. "Radek? How does each option affect our energy reserves?"
Radek rubbed his face with his hand. "Wormhole jump to the Destiny will deplete energy levels substantially. There would be enough left to refuel the Destiny but it would leave both ships dangerously low. Not enough left for weapons and shields should we be attacked. We would not have the energy to wormhole jump again until after we have refueled."
"Which means heading back here on F.T.L." John mused, aware that they could not risk heading back to the previous galaxy without weapons and shields for fear of running into the drone ships. It had been worrying enough when they dropped out to refuel upon first entering that galaxy. The first of the attack drones had appeared on their sensors within thirty minutes, barely giving them enough time to refuel and jump. "And the other option?" he asked.
"We will use far less energy if we head towards her in hyperspace. Enough to transfer energy to the Destiny so she can reach this galaxy within a month, and still have plenty for us to make wormhole jump back to last galaxy with weapons and shields operational. Heading home."
John didn't believe the drone ships would attempt to follow them this far into the void but the thought of being defenseless did not sit easily on him. It seemed that no matter which option they chose, they would have to make an F.T.L journey between this galaxy and Destiny. With that in mind, the second option - heading back towards Destiny using the hyperspace drive - seemed the far better one for all concerned.
John looked around the table. "We refuel and head out to meet Destiny in F.T.L."
With the decision made, John watched as all the others left the room except for Ronon. He cocked his head to the side and smiled slightly as Ronon leaned forward, studying him carefully.
"Twenty-nine days," Ronon rumbled.
Twenty-nine days until John learned the true fate of those on board Destiny. Twenty-nine days until he saw Rodney again - dead or alive. He had a feeling that those twenty-nine days would seem like a lifetime.
****
Twenty-nine days later:
The atmosphere on the bridge of the Tria was so intense that John could almost touch it, but that was understandable as more than two years had passed since anyone had made contact with Destiny. He licked suddenly dry lips as the klaxon sounded and, just as Radek predicted, Destiny dropped out of F.T.L. only a short distance away. The brilliant blue of her engines faded as her power depleted, and she began to drift, though her momentum still swept her onwards, towards the bright lights of the distant galaxy behind the Tria.
"At her current drift rate, I estimate it would take her nine hundred and forty-three years to reach the outer edge of the next galaxy," Radek stated solemnly. "And a further seventy-two years to reach the closest suitable star for refueling."
John was tempted to break the solemnity with a wisecrack about 'running out of gas' but his throat had closed up as he stared through the front view screen at the beautiful ship. Somewhere aboard her, Rodney was sleeping away the years like the princess in the old fairy tales. He cleared his throat to stifle the laugh that was bubbling up from inside just from imagining how Rodney would react to that description. Except John wasn't the only one on board the Tria to draw parallels to the old tales, recalling mess talk where Lorne wondered if Snow White's glass coffin had been a stasis pod, and if Sleeping Beauty had lived in an Ancient city on a distant world in the Pegasus galaxy.
"Match her speed and bring us alongside," John ordered. "Time to go rescue the princess."
Ahead of him, manning the weapons console, Ronon snorted, knowing John was referring to Rodney.
An hour passed before Radek, Ronon, Lorne and an assortment of others joined him on the Tria's main hangar deck, all of them suited up but carrying their helmets in readiness. One of the last commands on board Destiny had been to close down life support to preserve power, which was why everyone went into stasis. Radek's first task would be to restore life support using the Mark V Naquadah generators brought with them on the journey.
John made his way swiftly to the pilot's seat of his favorite Puddlejumper, leaving Lorne to take the copilot seat. Radek joined them after ensuring the generators were stowed safely, while Ronon took the seat directly behind John. The launch went smoothly and John took the time to fly over the full length of Destiny before maneuvering down towards an airlock that had the same radius as a Puddlejumper. The Puddlejumper reversed inside the airlock about three feet before coming to a halt. As soon as they had a full lock, John reached for his helmet and he ordered everyone on board to do the same.
He waited patiently for all the suit checks to be completed before lowering the ramp.
The deathly silence inside Destiny reminded him of when they had boarded the Aurora, feeling the weight of years lying heavy upon the air. Using high-powered flashlights to guide their way, they peeled off in different directions, with Radek heading towards the engineering deck with Lorne and the other engineers while John and Ronon headed towards the flight deck.
"Radek, I'm ready when you are." John waved a hand over the controls and watched as they initialized sluggishly at first. Through the radio, he heard Radek respond.
"About to connect first generator." The lights flickered and the blue of the consoles glowed stronger. "First generator is operational."
The second generator brought up life support but John waited until both the air quality and temperature were within normal parameters before drawing off his helmet. Soon after, the temperature had raised sufficiently for John to discard the cumbersome environment suit but he was still glad he had brought along his jacket. He sympathized when Ronon grunted and rumbled, "Hate those suits."
John took a deep breath as he shrugged into his jacket, realizing he could not put off the next task any longer.
"Let's head down."
Although Rodney always accused him of having terrible navigation skills, John recalled every step and turn needed to reach the area housing the stasis units. He paused as the final door opened before him, hanging on the threshold for a moment before taking a step inside. Ronon followed him as he passed row upon row but hung back when John stopped at a particular section.
"I'll wait here until you're ready."
Grateful, John could only nod, aware that he needed to be alone for this next part - to grieve if Rodney was dead, and to share the joy of their reunion if he lived.
Taking a step into the final section, John stopped as his eyes automatically found Rodney looking just as he remembered him from that last day. Unable to resist, he shuffled forward until his hands were splayed across the transparent shell of the stasis pod, staring directly at Rodney's sad, downcast face. Perhaps Rodney had known that they would never reach the next galaxy, and thought they would never see each other again. Flicking his eyes to the side of the stasis pod, John pressed the control panel and took a small step back as the transparent casing drew back. Almost immediately, Rodney's eyelashes began to flicker, his head raising and eyes slowly opening; so blue and dazed. He blinked at John in confusion.
"John?"
"Hey, sleepy head."
"John? Is it really you?"
John shrugged, and tensed as Rodney's hands reached up to cup his face. Unable to hold back from touching too, he reached out and clasped the strong biceps.
"Yeah, it's really me."
"You found me!" Rodney was looking at him in awe now, with eyes wide and blue, and lips softly parted.
The temptation was impossible to resist and John leaned in, covering Rodney's mouth with his as he pulled Rodney towards him. He felt a sob catch in his throat as Rodney responded immediately, with hands burying themselves in John's hair as the kiss deepened, desperate and needy. Their mouths slid apart as they held onto each other tighter, and John buried his face against Rodney's fine hair, breathing in the scent of the man he had almost lost forever.
The deliberate sound behind John made him slowly pull away, and he could not help but grin as Rodney spotted Ronon over John's shoulder. John kept one hand on Rodney's back as Ronon grabbed Rodney up in a bear hug, lifting him off the floor, and laughing as Rodney made an undignified squeak of protest.
Radek and Lorne joined them moments later, and after more embarrassing greetings that left Rodney flushed but happy, John smiled as Rodney and Radek began to debate with all the passion he remembered from their years on Atlantis. It only stopped when Rodney snapped his fingers.
"We need Eli... and possibly Rush."
A shadow moved, and Ronon spun with the grace of a dancer, blaster drawn, only to see Eli Wallace step from the shadows with hands raised defensively.
"I had Destiny wake me if she registered anyone attempting to board." He looked embarrassed. "I know I should have come forward sooner but..." He flicked his gaze between John and Rodney. "Didn't want to spoil the reunion."
Feeling a little embarrassed, John glanced at Rodney but other than an increased flush that went to the tips of his ears, Rodney seemed to dismiss Eli's voyeurism. Instead, he pulled Eli into the argument between him and Radek. As they wandered away, still arguing, John's smile faded a little, until Rodney turned on the threshold and stared at him.
No words were spoken but his eyes and expression - full of love - told John everything he needed to know. John waited until their bickering had been silenced by a closing hatchway before turning to Lorne and Ronon.
"Guess we'd better start waking up a few more sleeping beauties."
He moved over to Colonel Young's stasis pod and activated the wake-up sequence.
****
Rodney stretched to ease the kinks out of his back before typing in the last few commands that would transfer power from the Tria to Destiny. Though he hated to admit it, Radek had done a magnificent job in building both the wormhole drive and the energy collectors on the Tria. He felt a little jealous even though most of the work was based on his equations and research. It was just a little galling that he hadn't thought of adapting the wormhole drive to a smaller ship, but then John had always amazed him with his ability to not just think laterally but to take massive side-ways jumps in unexpected directions. He consoled himself by acknowledging that none of this could have worked on an Earth-Asgard ship without completely gutting the ship and replacing most of its engineering section with Ancient technology built to Rodney's specifications - which would have taken several years.
Refitting the Tria had been a stroke of genius.
Another part of Rodney felt ashamed because he had doubted John before, believing himself beyond rescue. He had faced death in the freezing depths of the Lantean ocean, hallucinating Sam Carter because, even subconsciously, he couldn't conceive of anyone on Atlantis being smart enough to find a way to save him - and yet it was John who had figured out how to use the Puddlejumper's shield to protect it from the increasing pressure, and who had found him.
Then there was the time when he was trapped on a Wraith ship, cocooned with Ronon and expecting to see the end of his homeworld before the Wraith Queen fed upon him, only for John to charge in like a white knight in a story book. Somehow John had come for him there too, at incredible odds.
Now here he was again after promising to find Rodney no matter how far he had to go, and if it took him a thousand years.
It was a sobering thought, knowing that someone cared enough to do the seemingly impossible, time and time again. For him. It made him more aware of all the years that had passed since they first met, and of all the times when Rodney had sought the love and approval of others when all he'd needed to do was open his eyes and take a good look at the man who was always standing beside him.
John.
He licked his lips in remembrance of that first kiss just a few hours earlier. As kisses went, it wasn't the best he'd ever experienced but never before had he been kissed with so much love, need and desperation; or with so much want and desire. All previous kisses paled into insignificance no matter how expertly they had been bestowed at the time. Now, all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss John again, and how much he wanted to touch him. It was crazy and yet beautiful, tying his stomach in knots.
"Rodney? Are you ready?"
Radek interrupted his musings and he shook his head minutely to turn his thoughts back on the task at hand. If this worked then Destiny would have enough power to make it to the next galaxy using the F.T.L drive, and the Tria would still have enough energy in reserve to use the wormhole drive back to the drone galaxy. Two different directions, and Rodney knew he had to choose which one to take.
If someone had placed this decision before him a few months earlier - his time rather than elapsed time - then he might have been tempted by the allure of that sign of intelligence coming from the very dawn of time and space for this universe. It was theology and physics all rolled into one, and possibly the true answer to the ultimate question of Life, the Universe and Everything that had been given so flippantly as 42. Unlike many of those who were trapped on board Destiny, Rodney did understand why Rush had lied to the others about his control over the ship. Destiny had traveled across more than a thousand galaxies for several hundred thousand years to find the answer to that question, and turning back would have gained the reluctant, stranded crew nothing. They would still have been hundreds of thousands of years from home.
When he realized he was trapped on Destiny, possibly for the rest of his life, his only regret had been leaving John behind, but until that last day before he stepped into the stasis chamber, he had never understood why he had thought only of John rather than of Jennifer. Now it was as if the flood gates holding back his emotions had opened and everything he had ever felt for John was spilling out for everyone to see.
Now, the most important question in the known universe had nothing to do with a signal transmitting since the dawn of time but had everything to do with John and their future - together.
"Rodney?" Radek asked impatiently.
"Yes, yes. I'm ready. Transferring power... Now!"
He grinned as the energy levels began to rise gradually on Destiny, a fraction of a percent at a time. He accepted the slap on the shoulder from an exuberant Eli, but movement in the doorway caught his eye and he turned in his seat, sharing a slightly embarrassed yet self-congratulatory smile with John. John returned the smile before taking a few more steps onto the flight deck.
"I'm sure Radek and Eli can watch it from here. Time to take a break, McKay."
John nodded towards the door and Rodney followed him off the flight deck and down the corridor towards the transporter, feeling the strain of the past few hours. It would take at least three hours to trickle-feed the energy across, as transferring power to Destiny had not been as straight forward as everyone had hoped. Resolving the initial energy transfer problems had taken him over two hours - with both help and hindrance from Radek and Eli, and John had been absent for most of this time along with Colonel Young.
"Did you make contact with the SGC?" Rodney asked as they walked along side-by-side, shoulders occasionally brushing and sending shivers of desire through Rodney.
"Yeah. O'Neill refused to give up on us. He's had people manning the communication stones all this time. Kind of took them by surprise when we showed up out of the blue."
"And?"
"And he's agreed to let everyone decide what they want to do. Stay with Destiny or return home on the Tria."
Rodney halted. "And by everyone, he means...?"
John had taken two more steps but he turned, smiling wryly. "Everyone."
He waited and fell in step as Rodney carried on, taking them through the ship to the private quarters that Young had given Rodney on that first day on board Destiny. John followed him inside and the door closed behind them.
He watched as John glanced around. "Young will be thawing out his people and giving them the choice tomorrow. I've already informed my crew."
"Tomorrow," Rodney said faintly.
"Yeah. He wants time to sit down with his main people to discuss options rationally before committing to anything, especially as there might not be any more Stargates from here on, so they'd have to rely on the shuttle for supplies... unless we can get Langara to change its mind and let us open a supply route."
"Or modify Atlantis to make longer wormhole jumps."
John raised both eyebrows.
"It all comes down to power. The energy collectors on the Tria are restricted by the size of the ship. Atlantis is the size of Manhattan. Admittedly, it would take a greater amount of energy to move her but she has the capacity to spare."
"That could take years to build."
"Not really." Rodney looked away almost in embarrassment.
"Rodney?" John asked warningly.
He sighed. "Okay. When I started looking at the blueprints, I noticed a certain amount of commonality between Atlantis and Destiny, especially the energy collectors."
John looked stunned, and sank down on the side of Rodney's bed. "Atlantis has energy collectors?"
"What? No! Yes." He squeezed his eyes closed and sat down next to John. "She has everything except the... power storage facilities."
"So all we'd need to do is build a gigantic battery using the blueprints from Destiny," John stated carefully.
"Well, not exactly but..." He sighed again as John raised an eyebrow meaningfully. "Yes. All she needs is a gigantic battery."
John looked confused. "I don't understand why the Ancients didn't use the energy collectors to power-."
"Older technology. A ZPM is more powerful, drawing energy from a self-contained region of subspace time."
"And until we learn how to build one, or refuel one...?" Rodney snapped his fingers and pointed the index one at John, indicating that John hadd understood the problem, so John continued. "And what they also didn't have was a working wormhole drive."
"Actually... I think Rush might be on to something in that respect. I think the journey is as important as the origin of the signal. Skipping over two-thirds of the last galaxy might have lost them some vital clue for what is up ahead. And they are close now. Only a few galaxies... possibly a decade away from the source."
John eyed him closely. "You want to stay with Destiny," he stated solemnly.
"Yes... and no." Rodney licked his lips. "I want to be there when she reaches the source. But I'm not so keen on spending the next ten or so years nursing her engines and fighting for each meal. Those few months before going into stasis gave me time to work on theories and proofs." He gazed at John excitedly, raising his hands to frame his words. "I think I can build that... gigantic battery using the subspace bridge that Jeannie and I worked on with Radek. We could have Atlantis meet Destiny close to the source, ten years from now."
"And what if they won't let you have Atlantis?"
Rodney knew that he needed the IOA and Earth Alliance politicians to not only agree to his idea but to finance it too.
"They will... because none of my work would affect the operation of the city whether she was on Earth or in Pegasus. It's a separate power source that will only be connected in the final stages of the project. It could also allow Atlantis to dial the ninth chevron. No more need to barter for a diplomatic solution with Langara. We could send supplies to Destiny any time, perhaps eventually modify her to store enough power to open the Stargate back to us. And the benefits of my research could solve the energy problems back on Earth, taking away the reliance on fossil fuels."
John stared at him for a moment before his eyes crinkled in smile and the edges of his mouth raised into a smile. "Cool!"
"Cool?" Rodney repeated almost disdainfully. He had just outlined a plan to avoid the energy crisis on Earth and all he had gained was cool. He sighed. It was pretty cool.
The only true problem with his plan was John. Rodney had learned from Radek that Caldwell had replaced him as the military commander on Atlantis, and Rodney had no intention of dedicating the next ten years of his life to this project if John was not going to be there with him. When he put this project before the IOA, he fully intended to demand that John be reinstated as military commander as part of the deal... as long as John wanted that too.
****
John watched as Rodney puttered around his quarters, stripping out of his worn shirt into one that John had brought across from the Tria.
"Have you eaten?" John asked.
"Huh?"
"Lorne brought over supplies from the Tria. They had chicken."
Rodney perked up. "Real chicken?"
He was on his feet and pounding out the room with John in hot pursuit.
"Well, as real as it gets when it's been in storage for the past year," John called out as he raced to catch up with Rodney.
"Huh! We ought to use the Wraith culling beam to store fresh supplies. Would take up less space and be just as fresh when beamed back out of storage."
The aroma of real food must have caught at Rodney just outside the mess room as he paused for a moment, almost swaying as he breathed in the fresh smell. He blinked when John caught his arm and drew him the rest of the way inside, pushing one of the makeshift trays into his hands and giving him a gentle shove towards the food. John was surprised when Rodney chose to eat sparingly despite the amount of food on offer, taking only what he needed rather than what he wanted. John took his share and sat down opposite, watching as Rodney took his time to inhale the aromas before picking up his spork.
"Oh, that's good," Rodney mumbled around a mouthful of reconstituted mashed potato and chicken in gravy.
The blissful look made something in John tighten with both sadness and desire; he had to look away, only to see the few awakened members of Destiny's crew looking equally blissed out as they savored the taste. It reminded John of the first arrival of the Daedalus, loaded down with Earth supplies after the original expedition had spent most of the past year surviving on what they could trade from other worlds in Pegasus. The fear of starvation had never been far from their minds in that first year, and only their alliance with the Athosians - with Teyla - had given them the trading partners they needed so desperately.
Strangely, Rodney shied away from the coffee, shaking his head when it was offered.
"Took me a week to get through the withdrawal and now I feel remarkably better off without it."
John shrugged but sipped at his own coffee - the first of the day. He'd never been an eleven-cups-a-day man like Rodney, preferring fresh juice or tea, so he could take it or leave it without any real concern. Rodney did seem a little more relaxed - less frenetic and jittery - so maybe much of that had been the caffeine running through his veins.
Once the meal was eaten, Rodney sat back looking tired but content. He caught John's eyes and his mouth twisted a little.
"You found me."
"Told you I would."
Rodney seemed to give himself a mental shake before pushing up to his feet and busing his and John's trays. John could see that he was expected to follow, and fell into step beside Rodney as they made their way back through the corridors to Rodney's quarters. Once more the doors closed behind them but this time Rodney began to pace, muttering under his breath, so John slouched against the wall by the door, and watched and waited. Several times Rodney stopped and looked at him, confused and slightly desperate, and eventually, John could stand it no longer. He pushed away from the wall and reached for Rodney, grabbing him by his biceps and holding him fast.
"Rodney?"
It took a small shake before Rodney would meet his eyes.
"I've always had a thing for blonds. And breasts. Big breasts. I've never..." He winced. "No, that's a lie. There was Marty Jordan but I was drunk at the time. I don't even remember..." He huffed out a laugh. "I do remember. It was good... but we never kissed. I'd never kissed... Apart from Carson but that wasn't me that was Cadman, and I'd never really thought about kissing him before... but..." He looked straight at John, at his mouth, and John had seen that same look before.
"But you had thought about kissing me."
Rodney looked stricken and John let him go, watching as Rodney rubbed his forehead with one hand as if trying to soothe a headache.
"You're incredibly hot! Who wouldn't think about kissing you?"
"I don't know. Todd, maybe. General Landry." John suppressed the urge to grin. "Biro?"
Rodney rolled his eyes. "Biro's a lesbian."
"And you're...?"
"Not as straight as I thought," he breathed softly as his eyes dipped to John's mouth again. Rodney licked his lips without conscious thought, and John felt the heat of desire for Rodney coil deep in his belly.
He stepped forward slowly, not wanting to spook Rodney. Letting his hands slide back over the strong biceps, John leaned in, brushing his lips against Rodney's. Rodney remained motionless but followed when John began to pull away so John let the kiss linger, relaxing when Rodney began to tentatively kiss him back. It was so different from their first kiss. It wasn't a thank-god-we're-alive kiss. It couldn't be passed off as a heat-of-the-moment expression of joy where both of them would be expected to pretend it had never happened. This was the real thing; an acknowledgment of what they meant to each other, and of how they wanted to move on with each other. It was the kiss of friends becoming lovers, and John felt his heart melt at the sweetness of this kiss compared to the desperation in that first kiss.
When Rodney finally pulled back just far enough for John to see his face, his blue eyes looked dazed, and his fingers were gripping John's arms, painfully.
The next kiss was different again, more confident and more demanding, and John arched into the warm hand that eased beneath his t-shirt to slide fingers across his back. He wanted to feel Rodney's warm skin beneath his own fingertips, and let his hands slide to Rodney's waist, pushing beneath the two layers of cotton shirts to the smooth expanse of skin underneath.
The press of their lower bodies made them both gasp, feeling the hardness of Rodney's cock aligning with his own. John resisted the urge to slip his hands down to the curve of Rodney's ass and pull him in closer, trapping the hardness between them, but only because he wanted to feel that sensation against naked skin rather than cloth. Instead, he grabbed the edges of Rodney's shirts and tugged them up, grinning happily when Rodney took the hint and dragged both over his head, leaving his fine hair standing in disarray; John shucked out of his jacket and t-shirt too, dropping them to the floor on top of Rodney's clothing.
He wrapped his arms around Rodney, body tingling everywhere their naked skin touched, and he kissed Rodney deeply with all the passion and desire that he had withheld for so long. Rodney moaned into the kiss, his agile tongue pushing between John's lips, begging to taste, while his hips rocked against John's, sending delicious sensations rippling through John. It was almost too much, and not the way John wanted this first time to go. He pulled away abruptly, breathing hard, mesmerized for a moment by the flushed face and swollen lips as Rodney gasped in unison. Hoping he wasn't going too fast for Rodney, he reached between them, quickly unzipping and dropping Rodney's pants - then his own - before rubbing the palm of his hand over Rodney's hard cock, smearing precome over the head.
Rodney dropped his head back, eyes closed and words of need falling in soft gasps while his fingers dug painfully around John's hips. Unable to resist the column of vulnerable throat, John licked from base to jaw, tasting the heat and perspiration, salty on his tongue, before tugging one ear lobe between this teeth; earning a garbled cry in response.
Thankfully they were close enough to the bed, both of them falling as their legs became entangled in their clothing, landing on the firm mattress, uncaring as they thrust against each other, desperate to reach that moment of release. John pulled Rodney on top, seeking and finding exactly what they both needed, feeling both the slipperiness of precome smear across sweaty skin and the slight drag across pubic hair; the tiny bursts of pain amplified the pleasure until he was coming. Rodney followed a few thrusts later, crying out, never once falling silent, not even in this moment.
"I take it back," Rodney murmured once he had gained his breath back. "If this is what it's always like with a guy... then I'm not straight at all."
Feeling ridiculously pleased, John let Rodney sprawl over him for another whole minute before shoving at him to get his weight off of him. Sprawled on his back with his legs still trapped in his hastily pushed-down pants, John smiled up at the ceiling in sated contentment; the smile turned into a full blown grin when Rodney leaned over him on one elbow.
"You do realize I don't have running water in here."
John winced, fingers smearing through the sticky mess on his stomach. "Wipes? Tissues?"
Rodney shook his head and shrugged helplessly, and John resisted the temptation to mention Rodney could lick him clean. It was likely too soon for such an intimacy, and he didn't want to scare Rodney away.
Finally taking pity on him, Rodney pulled off his shoes and pants. He wandered butt naked across the room to a small unit, unintentionally giving John a perfect view of broad shoulders tapering to a nice ass and strong thighs. Rodney pulled a pair of threadbare boxers out of a drawer and brought them back, wiping the mess off himself with the boxers before handing them over to John.
"Gee, thanks, Rodney."
Rodney crawled back onto the bed, looking a little uncertain, so John dragged him down, pulling at him until their bodies fitted against each other comfortably. He reached down and pulled up the sheet and thick blanket, recognizing the Langaran weave pattern. For all their righteous anger, the Langarans had displayed enough compassion to send through as many supplies as they had available during that thirty-eight minute window. John still resented the hell out of them for also sending through Rodney, but that had started to fade as soon as he saw Rodney alive and well.
The lights dimmed and John felt Rodney fall asleep beside him, his breath warm and soft against John's throat. An hour passed before John closed his eyes and followed him. Yet even in sleep he refused to let go of the man held tight in his arms, afraid of waking to find Rodney was nothing but a dream.
****
Epilogue:
"Are you sure this is what you want? We could still use you," Young asked but Rodney had already made up his mind.
He was heading back to Earth on the Tria with John, leaving Rush and even Eli Wallace behind, along with a few others who had decided that their path lay with Destiny. Most of the main crew had decided to stay on board too: Brody, Volker, Scott, Chloe, Greer and even Lieutenant James.
Doctor Cole had promised to go through the Ancient database on Atlantis to see if they could find a cure for Johansen's A.L.S. By rights, John could have ordered Johansen to return to Earth in stasis, but Young and the others made a good case for her to stay - if she wanted.
And she did, preferring to spend what time she had looking after the people she had come to care about over the past year.
Most of the others simply wanted to go home, which just left setting up a roster so everyone except the Tria's main crew spent some time in stasis during the year-long journey back to Earth. John considered Rodney part of the main crew, which suited Rodney just fine.
The journey would give him and John time to explore this new facet to their friendship without the weight of a still mostly homophobic military breathing down their necks - despite the end of DADT. It would give them the chance to see if they could work and live together without causing too much of the wrong kind of friction. Yet, unlike with all his previous relationships, Rodney felt confident they would figure it out, if only because they already knew each others strengths and flaws after spending so many years together as best friends.
Young was still waiting for an answer.
"Once we get back to Earth, you can always call me in if you need me," Rodney stated firmly, fully prepared to body swap - even with Rush - if Destiny or her crew needed his help. "And I hope to be back with you before journey's end anyway."
Young smiled and held out his hand, which Rodney took firmly. "Sheppard was right about you."
Rodney winced. "About that. What did he say, exactly?"
But Young merely smiled again and stepped back, leaving Rodney with no option but to wave weakly and retreat into the Puddlejumper for the final journey back to the Tria. He sank into the copilot seat next to John, and felt a rush of gratitude and pleasure as John piloted the jumper along the length of Destiny before pulling away towards the Tria, letting Rodney see the Ancient ship in all her glory.
John repeated his actions as they approached the Tria, showing off the Ancient warship that he had helped to salvage from the space between galaxies and bring halfway across the universe on a promise.
All for him.
Rodney turned and smiled at the man seated beside him, knowing he had chosen the right destiny - for both of them.
END
