Chapter Text
For Dick's eleventh birthday, he didn't ask for a trapeze, computer, or upgrades to his Robin suit. Instead, he asked for Robbie Malone.
When Dick taped his wishlist to the Batcomputer (as it would be pointless to hang it on the fridge which was in the kitchen, a room Bruce was banned from), the vigilante had stared at it with a dumbfounded expression for a solid twenty minutes before screaming for Alfred to give him parenting advice. Dick planned on using the footage as blackmail so he can invite Wally over.
Believe it or not, Dick had not come up with Robbie Malone. When Bruce was undercover as Matches Malone, another low-level mobster had asked if Matches had a kid and Bruce had instinctively said yes. The great Batman had made a mistake.
Dick actually wasn’t told about the incident, instead he found out when he was bored and decided to hack the files of the Batcomputer. After making this amazing discovery, Dick had spent weeks filling a whole notebook with random facts about Robbie, from his childhood, to favorite color, to his fighting style.
It had been about a month since Dick had approached Bruce about Robbie and short of high quality blackmail, Dick was reduced to asking Bruce for the alias as a birthday present.
A present he didn’t get.
Dick didn’t lose hope though, constantly trying to find good blackmail, pestering Bruce every chance he got, and even trying to sneak out when Matches Malone had a meeting. Nothing worked.
Three months after Dick’s birthday, Bruce had come to dinner brooding (because Batman doesn’t sulk) and tossed the Robbie Malone notebook on the dining table.
“Alfred says no work at dinner,” Dick said instinctively, without looking up.
“I want to talk to you about something.”
Dick picked as his chicken. “If it’s about last night, Ozzie offered me the candy. What was I supposed to do, say no?”
“Yes.”
“We both know he’s completely harmless. And it’s not like you were ever gonna pay the ransom.”
“He tried to blow you up last week,” Bruce said with a sigh.
“No,” Dick defended, “Ozzie tried to blow up Robin. He likes Richie Grayson.”
“Dick…” Bruce moaned, putting his head in his hands. “We’ll talk about you befriending a supervillain later. I need your help with something right now.”
Dick furrowed his brow, finally looking up at Bruce, surprised to find him holding a bright blue notebook with a poorly drawn mobster drawn on the front.
“Is that my Robbie Malone notebook?”
Bruce snorted. “Unless you try to draw Matches Malone on all your notebooks.”
Dick crossed his arms, “Who’s to say it’s Matches?”
Bruce sighed. “I need you to go undercover as Robbie Malone with me tonight.”
Dick brightened. “Really?”
“Yes. But I need you to do exactly what I say.”
“Okay!”
Dick sprinted out of the room, already planning every aspect of Robbie Malone, from his socks to the names of his knives.
Dick was severely disappointed in Bruce when they talked about Robbie on the way to the meeting. They had taken some car that Bruce didn’t use and the seats were too uncomfortable for Dick’s liking. Normally he would complain about the seats but he decided Bruce’s lack of imagination was more important.
“But Bruce!” Dick squacked. “That just makes Robbie me!”
“It means you’re less likely to let your real identity slip.”
“But Robbie Malone is the illegitimate son of Matches Malone! He needs to be scary! Intimidating! Fun to be!”
Bruce sighed. “I’m not letting you twirl knives, Dick.”
“Please?”
“No.”
Robbie Malone walked in the door of the shady bar, twirling knives between his gloved fingers.
The first thing Dick had done when creating Robbie Malone was develop his sense of style. Robbie wore dark sneakers, a balck leather jacket and gloves, a deep blue shirt, and dark shades, akin to those Robin wore when he spent time with heroes that didn’t know his identity outside the mask. As a safety precaution, colored contacts made Robbie’s eyes brown instead of blue.
It was a good thing he wore them, considering he got himself in a barfight.
Honestly, he wasn’t trying to.
There was a mobster meeting happening and for ‘peace reasons,’ everyone had to bring their kids. Said kids were delegated to a corner in between the bathrooms and bar to play a game of War while the men all played Poker. To make it slightly more interesting, they were gambling on the candy bars that the bartender had stashed in the back room.
Now Dick loved candy and so did Robbie Malone. Alfred was very strict on Dick’s candy intake.
It’s a bit obvious where this is heading isn’t it?
Dick wanted that jumbo sized chocolate bar really bad so he may have cheated, just a little. He got away with it too and when he was snacking on his prize, he turned to ask the bartender for a soda. One of the other kids, Petey? He saw a card hidden in Robbie’s back pocket.
Petey launched himself at Robbie. Being trained by Batman, Dick was able to react and smack Petey’s head into the bar. Petey reacted by grabbing a nearby bottle of whiskey and smashing it over Robbie’s head. Robbie took a swing at Petey, socking him in the eye.
At this point the attention of the entire bar was on them and the other kids thought it would be fun to join in. Sandra, a pretty redhead that was flirting with Robbie, had taken the heel of her shoe and hit Petey in the head with it. Petey’s brother Mikey pulled Sandra’s hair, earning a heeled kick to the groin. Robbie was kicked in the shin by Petey before having his head slammed into the bar by Sandra. Whose side was she on? Mikey, confused on the floor, grabbed Petey’s leg, thinking it was Robbie, and pulled him to the floor. Sandra’s heel then came down on his face while Mikey got kicked in the side by Robbie.
After that, all the kids were being pulled apart, shouting curse words at each other.
“Gotta admit, Matches,” Sandra’s father, James, said, “Your kid’s got spunk.”
“Why’d you have to get in a fight with Matches’ kid?” Petey and Mikey’s father, Davidson, asked.
“Just be glad I didn’t slice ‘em up,” Dick shouted, wiggling in Bruce’s surprisingly gentle grip.
James and Davidson laughed.
“I like you, kid,” James said. “You should bring him by more, Matches.”
“Maybe,” Bruce agreed.
~
Dick was benched for a week for his stunt as Robbie. His punishment was supposed to be longer but apparently everyone loved Robbie and wanted to see him around the bar more.
Dick’s punishment was lifted but he wasn’t allowed to tag along the next time they went undercover.
The next month, Robbie Malone was sitting at the poker table, cracking jokes with all the other mobsters, shooting bright smiles at Matches whenever a mobster complimented his knife or told him he was going places.
Dick planned on using Bruce’s pout from the car ride home as blackmail so he could show Wally the Batcave.