Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I’m really sorry it didn’t work out, I just…we aren’t compatible, you know? We want different things. We can be friends, but I can’t be your girlfriend,” 

Hyeju sat across from Yerim in a small coffee shop in New York City, watching the steam rise off her espresso. She could see Yerim fiddling with her fingers, her hot chocolate painting her upper lip while she chewed her lower. It was cute. Hyeju’s lips quirked a little at the sight, but then she remembered now was hardly the time. 

She sighed, sitting back. “I understand,” Hyeju agreed because this wasn’t out of the blue. Yerim looked a touch hurt by Hyeju’s apathy but mostly relieved. Hyeju had always liked that about Yerim, she’d rather talk about her emotions than keep them inside. She was easy to read, and she was sweet. She was bright and bubbly, and energetic-

It was also becoming even more clear why they probably never worked in the first place. 

“Do you have anything you want to say?” Yerim asked timidly. 

Hyeju thought for a moment. Yerim had been right. She’d been pursuing her dream of singing ever since Hyeju had known her, while Hyeju had… what had Hyeju been doing? She was a person largely unmotivated by a career, and that wasn’t the kind of girlfriend Yerim wanted. 

Hyeju much preferred working the blue-collar job that she got to check out of at the end of the day, go home and game with Chaewon, or sleep. Speaking of Chaewon, she’d have to text Chaewon about their change in dinner plans-

“Hyeju?”

Hyeju cleared her throat. “Sorry. Just thinking,” She ran a hand through her hair, and it was comical how Yerim seemed to wince as if she was already regretting doing this. “You’re right. I couldn’t have supported you in the way you need, or the way I know you deserve. I care about you though, I can’t wait to see you become a singer,” She patted Yerim’s hand. “But holding you back isn’t something I wanna do,” 

“I appreciate that,” Yerim smiled wistfully. “And uh, Hyeju?”

“Yeah?”

“I kind of…I kind of have someone I want to start seeing,” Yerim told her, pursing her lips. “You and me hasn’t been working for a while, and she-”

“Yerim, no hard feelings,” Hyeju promised. “You’re gonna ask me if it’s too early, but it’s just fine,”

“Thank you,” Yerim smiled bigger now. “You’ll find someone too, you know. Someone who fits you perfectly. Maybe if you go out a bit more instead of blowing all your money on food for you and Chaewon…”

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen,” Hyeju smiled back. “Thank you though,”

Yerim stood up and kissed Hyeju’s cheek as she collected her things and exited the coffee shop. Hyeju watched her go, deflating once her ex-girlfriend was out of sight. Well, that kind of ruined her morning. 

She pulled out her phone and clicked on Chaewon’s contact. 

Tall Emo: guess who just got broken up with?
Princess Wonnie: skill issue lmao
Tall Emo: you’re so sweet to me
Princess Wonnie: i am! I’m literally the greatest.
Princess Wonnie: do you wanna eat icecream and cry tonight?
Tall Emo: do you have plans tonight?
Princess Wonnie: i’ll cancel
Tall Emo: idk why i asked you never have plans
Princess Wonnie: you can die!!
Tall Emo: let’s get thai and watch bad rom coms
Princess Wonnie: sounds good
Princess Wonnie: pick me up a pretzel on your way home
Princess Wonnie: i want a pretzel
Princess Wonnie: HYEJU HA GET ME A FUCKING PRETZEL

☁︎

“You actually brought me a pretzel,” Chaewon’s mouth hung open as Hyeju walked into their shared apartment, took off her leather jacket, and set down a pretzel on the kitchen counter. 

“Didn’t want to get locked out again,” Hyeju snorted as Chaewon pulled herself off the couch, eyes on her food. 

“You deserved that. You brought it on yourself,” She sat down beside Hyeju, taking the pretzel out of its wrappings. “You went to a bagel place and you didn’t even bring me one back. Like our friendship means nothing,”

“Maybe Yerim was right,” Hyeju mused. Chaewon shot her a disbelieving look. “If I stopped spending so much money on food for us, I might be able to go find a good girlfriend,”

“What does Yerim know,” Chaewon grumbled, taking a bite. “She broke up with you,” 

Hyeju sighed, her heart hurting a little. “Yeah,”

Chaewon said nothing but Hyeju felt their knees brush and Chaewon leisurely offered Hyeju a small piece of her pretzel. It was a big ask of Chaewon considering how much the blonde loved her pretzels. It was chocolate covered too because Hyeju knew just which one she liked. 

Hyeju opened her mouth and Chaewon snorted, rolling her eyes. “I’m not feeding you, idiot,”

“You’re supposed to be nice to me when I’m sad,” Hyeju complained, returning the eye roll. 

“Yerim’s the one who should be sad,” Chaewon shrugged, dropping the piece in front of Hyeju. “You’re a total ten, and she let you go. She’s crazy,”

“Oh, I’m a ten now?” Hyeju chuckled, watching Chaewon’s eyes flash with alarm. 

“Well,” Chaewon struggled to come up with a response. “ Now you are. After this pretzel,”

“What was I before?”

“3,” Chaewon glared at her. “And only because you let me make you carry my bags,”

“Aww,” Hyeju sneered at her, but both of them were smiling. There was a moment where neither of them spoke, and Hyeju wondered what rating Chaewon would really give her out of ten,

“7.5,” She said softly. 

“Huh?”

“That’s your rating,” 

Chaewon stared at her. 

And then Hyeju was berated with weak and furious punches. 

“A SEVEN POINT FIVE??? I AM A TOTAL TEN. NO QUESTIONS. TAKE THAT BACK. TAKE IT BACK HYEJU!”

Hyeju was on the floor, almost in tears from her laughter and Chaewon tried to tackle and beat her up. Hyeju tried in vain to block her attacks, covering her head and pretending to beg for mercy. 

“You. Are. The. Worst.” Chaewon kicked her hip, standing up and crossing her arms. “Forget movie night,”

“Chae,” Hyeju sat up, nearly wheezing from her laughter now. “I was kidding,”

“You better have been,” 

“You had to get some points off for how high maintenance you are, it’s just the truth,” She poked Chaewon’s cheek, cleaning up the pretzel wrappings. 

“You’re on thin ice if you actually expect me to hang out with you tonight,”

“What else are you planning on doing tonight,” Hyeju snorted. “Hang out with the multitude of friends you have?”

Chaewon made a face at her. “Hey…”

“Sorry,” Hyeju sat down again. “I’m sorry, that was too far,”

Chaewon cocked her head a little. “I think you’re not feeling as good as you’re pretending you are,”

Hyeju pursed her lips. “Maybe not,”

Chaewon quietly took her hand again. “How are you feeling about Yerim, really?”

“I don’t know,” Hyeju shrugged weakly. “I miss her, but I don’t think I miss her , you know? I just miss feeling like I could work in a relationship. And everyone was so impressed I even managed to get with somebody as good as her. Yerim is pretty, smart, well-spoken, interesting-”

Chaewon nodded, rubbing her hand. 

“What do I have to offer someone like that? I’ve got to be doing something wrong because I can’t remember the last relationship that lasted more than 4 months. And worse, my whole family thinks I’m some sort of defect because my sister has a drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend-”

“Your family’s opinion isn’t important when it comes to your happiness,” Chaewon told her. 

“It is,” Hyeju replied. “I know you aren’t close to your family, Wonnie, but mine are different,” She squeezed the olders hand. “I tell my sister everything, or at least I used to. They know I want a relationship, but everyone looks at me with such pity,” 

“Oh…and-”

“And Christmas,” Hyeju groaned. “I have to go back home and explain to them why I’m single again . Because my relationship failed, again-”

“Hyeju,” 

“Chaewon,”

“We’re going to watch the Grinch,” 

“...okay…”

“And we’re not going to worry about love lives, or girlfriends, or stupid family drama,” She pulled Hyeju into a light hug. “We’re going to stuff ourselves with takeout and then watch horror Christmas movies,”

“Do those exist?”

“I’m sure we’ll find some,” 

It wasn’t the first time Hyeju realized how grateful she really should be for Chaewon. They’d met when they’d both just moved to New and were flat broke. They’d needed to split rent to afford any apartment and despite their deeply contrasting aesthetics and styles, they had complementing personalities. Chaewon was something of a modern-day princess, all of her clothes or other things were some shade of pink or pastel. Hyeju was a fan of black, and rarely did she ever go out without her black leather jacket and a line of black eyeliner. She was tall where Chaewon was short, Chaewon could fill Hyeju’s often intimidating silences. They’d been roommates and best friends ever since they met. 

In that time, Chaewon had seen Hyeju’s epic train wreck of a love life. There was Heejin, who Hyeju had met after she’d saved the girl from nearly getting mugged. That hadn’t lasted long but they’d agreed to remain friends. There was Hyunjin, and Chaewon had approved that relationship only because Hyunjin worked at the hotdog stand near their apartment and she got a discount. That had ended after Hyeju decided Hyunjin liked Chaewon a little too much. 

There was Jihan, who was a little too much for Hyeju and way too much for Chaewon, who probably scared Jihan off with her obvious hatred. There was Eunseo, who Hyeju had liked until she found out that the girl was very much dating someone else. There were more girls in between and then Yerim, who Hyeju had liked far more than any of the others but she still just wasn’t right. 

“Stop using your brain,” Chaewon poked her, and Hyeju realized she’d been spacing out as the Grinch snuck into the Whoville houses.

“Hard not to when you’re as intelligent as I am,” Hyeju yawned halfway through her sentence. Chaewon pretended to gag. 

They both jumped as Miss A’s “Hush” started playing on Hyeju’s phone and she reached over to pick it up. “You still suck for changing my ringtone,” Hyeju told Chaewon, who grinned.

UNNIE Is Calling…

“It’s my sister,” Hyeju brought a finger to her lips and Chaewon turned the tv volume down. 

“HYEJU,” Sooyoung’s voice blared through the little phone speaker. “You’re coming home for the holidays, right?”

Hyeju shot a look at Chaewon, who smiled, and agreed. “Yep, that’s the plan,”

“Me and Jungeun can’t wait to see you,” Sooyoung replied. “You still dating someone?”

Hyeju gulped. She’d completely forgotten that her family was already under the impression that she wasn’t single this year. 

“Uh…” 

Chaewon shook her head in disbelief at Hyeju’s incompetence. Hyeju kicked her. 

“It’d be nice to go on double dates you know, especially since this one might really last, huh?”

“On a date with you two? Sounds like hell,” Hyeju snorted, trying to distract her. 

“You need to start being nicer to Jungeun, you know, she’s going to think you don’t like her,” Sooyoung’s frown was visible in her voice. Chaewon gave a very mocking faux gasp of horror. Hyeju tried to cover her laugh. “Hyeju! She’s very nice!”

“I know , you’ve mentioned it a couple of times. It’s almost as if you ditched our last family Christmas to take her to Hawaii,”

Sooyoung’s line got quiet for a moment. “Okay, well-”

“No hard feelings, unnie, you just left me home alone with mom and dad who berated me about my love life for the better part of 5 days-”

“Okay, well now she’s coming home with me, and everyone needs to be on their best behavior,” 

“I will . But it’s my job to feel her out-”

“If you touch her-”

“EW. Oh my god, that’s not what that means,” Hyeju felt sick. “No. I just have to decide if I like her,”

“I have to too! I’m hurt that this is the first chance I’m getting to ask about your girlfriend,” 

“Well…” Hyeju chewed her lip. Chaewon raised a brow from across the couch. 

“Come on, you can’t tell me anything? Not even her name? What’s she like? What does she look like? Give me her Instagram and I can stalk her,”

“First of all, no,” Hyeju scoffed. “That’s so creepy,” 

“Hyeju,” Sooyoung was using her soft, sentimental tone to appeal to Hyeju’s emotions. “I want to know who’s making you happy. Is that a crime?”

“Ugh…fine,” Hyeju swallowed thickly. “The girl I’m dating, her name is…” She looked around the room, desperately trying to come up with something, She couldn’t ask Heejin for this big of a favor. She knew Jihan would take her back but Sooyoung would see right through that…

Her eyes landed on Chaewon, who was looking at her like she was crazy.

“Chaewon,” She said. “Chaewon Park,”

Chaewon’s eyes widened. “Are you crazy?” She whispered. “Are you fucking crazy? Are you outside of your mind right now? Hyeju fucking Ha-”

“As in, your roommate Chaewon Park?” Sooyoung sounded curious. 

Oh no. 

“Yeah…”

“WHO CALLED IT, I CALLED IT,” Hyeju winced at Sooyoung’s volume. “MAYBE IT TOOK YEARS, BUT I SAID IT. CHAEWON AND YOU WERE TOTALLY GONNA GET TOGETHER. I CALLED IT. DIDN’T I CALL IT?”

“I don’t remember you saying that,” 

“Yes you do. Remember? You had first moved in with her and you were showing me her pictures and I said she was pretty and you got alllllll red and you blushed like crazy,” 

“I genuinely hope you get hit by a car,” 

“Why be embarrassed now? If you guys are dating,” Sooyoung sighed contentedly. “ I’m so happy for you. I can’t wait to meet her! You guys are gonna be so cute-” 

“Uh, Sooyoung, I need to go,” Hyeju told her sister quickly, feeling Chaewon’s outrage growing beside her. “I’ll talk to you later, alright?”

“Okay, love you! Tell Chaewon hi for me!”

Hyeju hung up and looked over at her best friend. 

She was so, so, dead. 

☁︎

“Chaewon, we can work this out- ow! Stop throwing things at me!” 

“You have officially lost your mind,” Chaewon picked up another pillow and launched it at Hyeju’s head. “You want me to be your fake girlfriend and lie to your entire family -”

“It would only be for a couple days!”

“You are unbelievable,”

“Come on, Chae, think about it. You were already planning on spending Christmas alone since you’re not going back home. You’ll get to meet all my family, which is gonna be super embarrassing for me and I know you love when embarrassing things happen to me-”

Chaewon sighed. “Valid point,” 

“You’ll get to have nice food on Christmas, you won’t be stuck in this disgusting city so you’ll get to have fun in the snow-” Chaewon’s eyes lit up. “More time with me, your bestest friend in the whole world-”

“Maybe I’ll make Jungeun my new best friend,”

Hyeju crinkled her nose. 

“Was that all?”

“No! I’ll pay for your flight, and I’ll literally do anything you ask, all vacation long,” Hyeju clasped her hands together. “Please please please please-”

“Well,” Chaewon flipped her hair. “That’s what you’d get in a relationship with me anyway,”

Hyeju didn’t retort because she wanted to stay on Chaewon’s good side. 

“Come on, I promise you’ll have fun at least some of the time. I already told my sister, and I don’t think I can handle the disappointment if I let her down again,”

Chaewon stared at her for a moment, her gaze intense yet unreadable. She chewed her lip, as if mulling it over in her head, and then sighed. 

“You better get me an amazing fucking gift, girlfriend,” 

“You know I will,” Hyeju agreed. “So you’ll do it?” 

Chaewon opened and closed her mouth. “I guess,” She said quietly. 

“YES. Thank you so much Wonnie. I promise it’ll be perfect,”

☁︎

The longer Hyeju drove the more she realized just how crazy her plan was. 

The plane flight out of NYC to Michigan had been hectic, and Hyeju had no doubt Chaewon was planning to make this harder for her at every turn. She’d brought two big suitcases whereas Hyeju usually only packed a carry on. “This is why you’re single!” Chaewon had exclaimed. “No skincare and the same three t-shirts,”

She had then insisted Hyeju use at least some of her suitcase space, so Hyeju brought five t-shirts instead of three. And moisturizer, after all of Chaewon’s passive aggressive comments. They stood side by side as they packed and Hyeju actually started to feel good about this. Confident even. Fool proof plan.

Hyeju had been forced to roll the - pastel pink and glittery - suitcases through the entire NYC airport, which was deeply embarrassing but just another thing she was willing to do for Chaewon. Chaewon had booked herself a first class flight while Hyeju sat just behind her in coach. But every time Hyeju thought about complaining to her, she got a little thank you, fake girlfriend :) that made her insides melt a little. Not in a weird way though. 

They were in the Michigan airport and Hyeju had just checked them into the rental car service when Chaewon brought it up. 

“So what exactly are we going to tell your family?”

“Uh,” Hyeju looked over at her after she’d signed her name, watching Chaewon bite off the end of her strawberry pocky stick.

“Hyeju,” 

“Right, um,” She scratched her head. “Well, what else is there to say? We’re dating. You’re my gi-girlfriend,” 

Chaewon pursed her lips, clearly trying not to laugh.

“Don’t even say anything,”

“Nice voicecrack, Ha,” She grinned. “But you might have to say it more naturally if you want people to think I’m your gi-girlfriend,”

“Shut uppp,” Hyeju groaned. 

“Come on,” Chaewon linked their arms. “We’ll come up with a story,”

Hyeju listened vaguely as Chaewon came up with some tale of Hyeju asking her to a romantic dinner and declaring her love at the end, but she was also barely paying attention as she got the car started. 

“Sooyoung won’t believe it,” She told Chaewon when the car came roaring to life. 

“Which part?”  Chaewon raised her eyebrows.

“Any of it. The dinner, the confession, it’s not our style. But also, you have to ask me out,”

“Um, I don’t chase anyone, you have to be in love with me first,”

“Chae, when have I ever asked anyone out?”

Chaewon huffed, sitting back in the passenger seat. “Well, maybe I opened your eyes and changed you,”

Hyeju chuckled, putting her arm behind Chaewon’s seat to turn around and back out. “Not likely,” She murmured. Chaewon got weirdly quiet, and Hyeju ran a hand through her own hair to shoot Chaewon a look. “Wonnie, you good?”

“Fine,” Chaewon agreed. “Fine, I’ll be the one who asked you out. I did it randomly one night when we were watching a movie,”

“What movie?” Hyeju asked. “Sooyoung’s a romantic, and my mom is nosy. They’ll be suspicious if we don’t have the same answer,”

Chaewon brought her knees to her chest, staring out the window at the traffic. “Spirited Away,” She replied. 

“We actually watched that one together. Even more realistic,” Hyeju agreed. “Anything else, I think we already know about each other, considering we’re roommates,”

“No kissing,” Chaewon told her. “That’s my rule,” 

“We barely even hug, I need to kiss you at least once so my parents don’t ask me why we act like some nerdy virgins,” 

Chaewon glared at her. “Hyeju…”

“Oh right,” Hyeju bit her tongue to try and not laugh. “You actually are,”

“ANYWAYS,” Chaewon said pointedly. “It’s my rule,”

“Wonnie, no one is going to believe us if we don’t kiss,”

Chaewon thought about it for a moment, eventually leaning back. “...fine. On the cheek only,”

“What about forehead?” Hyeju asked.

“That’s fine,”

“Hand?”

“What kind of romantic gestures are you planning on pulling?”

“You never know, wanna be prepared with your consent first,” Hyeju shrugged. 

“Oh, I know,” Chaewon pulled out her phone and opened safari. “Pet names,” 

“No. I already have enough for you. Chae and Wonnie work just fine,”

“But they aren’t romantic!” Chaewon’s grin was sinister. “And I want to call you…” She scrolled through her phone. “Honey bun,” 

“I think I’d actually just kill myself,”

“Boooo you’re no fun,” Chaewon giggled at her phone. “Sweetie pie,”

Hyeju pretended to throw up. 

“I like babe,” Chaewon told her. “You’re calling me babe,” 

“Yes maam,”

“Hyeju.”

“Yes, ..babe,”

Chaewon smiled wildly. “U-uhm, okay, and-”

“I used to call you Princess,” Hyeju offered slowly. “It was a joke, but it’s a pet name,”

Chaewon watched her, unblinking,

“Stupid suggestion, sorry. Totally random. We don’t have to use it. My sister would probably make it into some weird sex thing anyway-”

“No! No, I don’t mind it. Uh…maybe not around Sooyoung…” 

“Never anything around Sooyoung, she feeds off my happiness like a leech,”

Chaewon smiled but didn’t reply. Hyeju still felt shy after her suggestion.

“You, I’ll call… sunshine!” Chaewon suggested. Hyeju didn’t have to say anything to voice her disapproval. “Cupcake, Muffin-”

“Just use Baby,” Hyeju grumbled. “Be a normal human being,”

“You want me to call you that?” Chaewon wiggled her eyebrows. “ Baby ?”

“Don’t read into it,” Hyeju grinded her teeth. “Are we missing anything? Key information they might ask us?”

“I think we know way too much about each other already,” Chaewon told her.

“Should we give each other the obligatory “don’t fall in love with me” speech like in the movies?” Hyeju asked. 

Chaewon’s smile was strained even though she scoffed. “I think we’re good,”

Hyeju focused her attention on the road again when Chaewon got more comfortable in her seat, pressing her cheek to the window. “It’ll take us a couple more hours to get there, try to get some sleep,” Hyeju hesitated. “Babe,”

Chaewon blushed and smiled to herself. “Smooth,” She murmured. 

Hyeju cursed at herself internally and tightened her grip on the steering wheel, staring straight ahead. This was crazy, right? Asking her best friend to act like they were in a romantic relationship all to appease her parents, extended family and overly doting older sister? Part of her wanted to turn around and drive right back to the airport.

Another, much smaller part of her wondered if they could really pull it off. There had been a time when Hyeju had a little bit of a thing for Chaewon, but Chaewon had always been so disinterested in her, there was no chance she ever felt the same. She never really liked anyone either, despite her constant boasting about being such a catch.

“Hyeju?” Chaewon spoke up. Hyeju thought she had been asleep. “What’s your mom like?”

“My mom?” Hyeju thought for a moment. “Um, I don’t know. She’s like most moms. She gets really into the holidays, so she’ll like you if you compliment her cooking or decorations. She’ll probably ask you about what you’re into. Talk about your cooking and shopping, not gaming. She doesn’t like that stuff. She’ll love if you talk about me, but she probably won’t understand if you’re being sarcastic. We have a dog, if she likes you then Daisy will too. She’s just normal, other than that,”

Chaewon kept staring out the window. “My mom isn’t like that,” She said quietly.

Hyeju’s heart cracked a little for her. She reached over and took Chaewon’s hand. “What’s yours like?”

“These days, I couldn’t tell you. As a kid, she liked that I was girly, it was the liking girls she had a problem with. She wasn’t homophobic-” Hyeju would argue those two statements couldn’t coexist, but didn’t interrupt. “-but it was different after she found out, you know? We’d never been close before anyway, so it wasn’t like I was expecting to get invitations home for the holidays…” She shrugged. “I appreciate your mom for being cool about you, and Sooyoung’s girlfriend too. My mom would’ve gone crazy,”

“So I can’t offer to return the fake girlfriend favor…”

“No way. My mom would hate you,” Chaewon laughed. 

“What’s to hate?” Hyeju asked in mild offense.

“She’d think you’re a bad girl,” Chaewon told her. “Though the girl part is probably worse than the bad,”

“I am a bad girl,” Hyeju gave her a faux wink. “I think I could handle your mom,”

“Cause you’re my gi-girlfriend ?”

“Not if I throw you out of the car,”

Chaewon laughed and smiled more genuinely. “Do you think they’ll like me?”

“I could probably bring home a houseplant and Sooyoung would love it as long as I said it made me happy,” Hyeju told her, and when she didn’t respond Hyeju squeezed her hand. “Yes, Chae, they’re going to love you. You’re great,”

Chaewon’s shoulders relaxed and she took a deep breath. “Even though I’m only a 7.5?” She asked sarcastically.

“Well apparently I’m only a 3, and they still invite me back every year,”

“I changed my mind,” Chaewon chewed her lip. “You’re a 4,”

“Wowww, what convinced you?” Hyeju clutched her chest as if overwhelmed with gratefulness. 

“I like it when you’re sweet,” Chaewon told her. “Yerim was a real fool to miss out on this,”

Hyeju thought flippantly that she was glad it was Chaewon coming instead. 

☁︎

Hyeju brought the car to a stop a little down the block from her house and turned to Chaewon with a deep breath. “Ready to enter the lion’s den?”

“Oh Hyeju,” Chaewon patted Hyeju’s head and unlocked her car door. “You’re always so dramatic. And I don’t know why you felt the need to park so far away, it only means you’ll have to carry the suitcases farther,”

“Me?-”

“If you think I’m carrying any luggage for the next five days, you’re sorely mistaken. That’s my end of our arrangement,” Chaewon leaned in and smirked. “ Baby ,”

She adjusted her pink earmuffs to fit over her head and hopped out of the car with a smile, dusting off her white coat and waiting patiently for Hyeju to follow. 

“She’s going to kill me,” Hyeju muttered, locking the car and going around to the back to grab the suitcases. She shot Chaewon a cold look as the blonde daintily grabbed her purse and small carry-on from the backseat and briskly headed toward the house, but the older only smiled. 

“It’s Christmas time Hyeju, be cheery!” She said as they came to the front steps of the house. The Ha house was mostly white on its exterior, with a yard currently covered in snow and completely barren of lights. Hyeju groaned a little internally when she thought of what was waiting for them inside. 

“Are we going to go in, or…”

“I just want to enjoy these last few moments of peace and quiet,” Hyeju shut her eyes tight. She heard the door open and footsteps on the concrete. 

“HYEJU!!” 

The silence was long gone, her sister had arrived. 

Chaewon laughed in surprise and Hyeju huffed as Sooyoung wrapped her in a tight hug, pulling away to inspect her face. “Oh my god, Hyeju, you look so grown up! You looked like a baby the last time I saw you!” 

“You say that every year,” Hyeju grumbled. 

“It’s been two years this time,” Sooyoung corrected. “I’ve missed seeing your grumpy face. And this must be…”

“I’m Chaewon. Hyeju’s girlfriend,” Chaewon smiled sweetly. Hyeju could see how tightly her nails dug into the sleeve of her coat, the only sign she was nervous. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,”

“I’m so glad you could make it, Hyeju has refused to share even a bit about you, so I can’t wait for us to get to know each other,” Sooyoung touched her shoulder. “You look adorable together! The pink and black contrast is so cute,”

“Hyeju, show her the earmuffs,” Chaewon grabbed Hyeju’s earmuffs from where she had (purposefully) left them on the suitcases. “Aren’t we cute?”

Hyeju felt like a cat in water, wearing her black earmuffs over her beanie while Chaewon showed off her pink earmuffs that matched her outfit perfectly, down to her earrings. Chaewon had insisted they buy them while they were at the airport, to fit with their story. Hyeju had reluctantly agreed. Sooyoung looked like she was about to combust with happiness.

“I. Love. Her.” Sooyoung told Hyeju. “She’s mine. You better not break her heart,” Hyeju nodded weakly. “Come on Chae, can I call you Chae? The rest of the family is inside. Hyeju, you need help with bags?” 

“She’s got it,” Chaewon shot a wink at Hyeju, who glowered a little and then linked arms with the elder sister. “I can’t wait to meet everyone,”

Hyeju did not expect them to get on so well. She was also not sure she liked it. 

She lugged both suitcases up the steps and shut the door behind her with a huff, dusting herself off and searching for Chaewon in the entryway. The blonde was looking at her too, and Hyeju saw again how tightly she was clutching her sleeve. 

“Okay Sooyoung,” Hyeju pulled Chaewon away from her sister, taking Chaewon’s hand. “Let her breathe,”

Chaewon squeezed her hand, swallowing thickly as she surveyed the rest of the people. The house was filled with extended family, half of them she hardly recognized. She couldn’t be surprised that Chaewon was overwhelmed. Hyeju vaguely heard her sister introducing Chaewon to her father and mother, but her mind was much more occupied by the feeling of Chaewon leaning into her. 

Then she felt Chaewon pinch her wrist and realized she actually had to give some attention. The conversations around her pulled her out of her thoughts, and she looked up to see her parents approaching.  

“Hyeju! My darling,” Her mother hugged her lightly while her father patted her back, and Hyeju managed to muster up a smile for them. Chaewon did the same, and both her parents looked elated that Hyeju had managed to bring back a human girl for the holidays.

Behind them, Hyeju spotted her sister with a shorter brunette, who was gazing up at her with a cute eye smile and a light blush. Hyeju decided her sister looked a little too happy, and she should finally get a little revenge on her sister for missing the holidays last year to take said brunette on some overly romantic excursion.

“So Sooyoung, which girlfriend did you bring back this year?” Hyeju called out to her sister, whose happy expression quickly became sour. The brunette at her side furrowed her brow, tightening her grip on Sooyoung’s bicep.

“Chaewon!” Sooyoung turned to the blonde instead, presenting the girl at her side with a warm smile. “This is my girlfriend, Jungeun,”

“Hi!” Jungeun held out her hand to Chaewon, who took it and shook it earnestly. “It’s nice to meet you, Sooyoung has been very excited to see the two of you,”

“I’m getting that vibe,” Chaewon agreed with a grin. She dipped her head towards Hyeju, pursing her lips. “This is Hyeju, my roommate. And girlfriend. Obviously,” 

Jungeun shot Hyeju a hesitant look and smiled. 

“It’s nice to meet you. Sooyoung has not been able to shut up about you,” She shook Jungeun’s hand when the older offered it. Hyeju shook her head in sympathy. “I feel so bad for you, having to deal with her constant-”

Sooyoung scoffed and pulled Jungeun closer. “Much you always be such an ass-”

“Hyeju!” Chaewon stood between them. “I’m tired, can we bring our things up to our rooms?”

Hyeju noticed the hint of desperation in her eyes and nodded. “Yeah, sorry,” She murmured, her lips tilting upwards when Sooyoung scoffed due to her apology being directed only to Chaewon. “Come on, I’ll show you the way,”

Chaewon hurried after her as Hyeju climbed the stairs with a suitcase in each hand. The conversations continued downstairs and Hyeju heaved a sigh as she finally found her room and helped Chaewon inside. 

“That was…” Chaewon blew out her cheeks and laughed a little. “You still wonder why you can’t get a girlfriend?”

“Don’t forget, you are my girlfriend,” Hyeju reminded her with a huff.

“You can say it naturally now, huh?” Chaewon teased, approaching her when she’d set the bags down. Hyeju stood up straight and smiled down at her. “No voice crack?”

“You’re the one stealing the show, that was impressive with my family,” She replied. “They’ll like you more than me by the end of this,”

“Surprising no one,” Chaewon retorted haughtily, still smiling. “Did you really have to be that rude? Jungeun seems nice,”

“I’m sure she is. It’s all to make sure Sooyoung is suffering as much as she can for these 5 days,” Hyeju took off her coat and sat down on her bed. “She’ll live,”

Chaewon rolled her eyes but sat down next to Hyeju after she’d hung up both of their coats. “So, your childhood bedroom…”

Hyeju groaned and laid back on her bed, covering her eyes. “What’s your verdict? Would I have been unapproachable to you in high school?” 

“Hm, a lot of Death Cab For Cutie posters,” Chaewon laid down on her stomach and looked up at the walls. “I see you really were an emo,” 

“More of an undercover Wonder Girls fan,” Hyeju replied, watching her take it in. 

“Well that brings your score up to a 5!” She cheered. “But I’ll have to take another one away for the My Chemical Romance poster behind the door,” 

Hyeju cursed under her breath, sitting up. “And here I was hoping you wouldn’t see it,”

Chaewon smirked. “Nothing gets past me,”

“I don’t get a plus one for the Fall Out Boy?”

Chaewon looked her up and down and then stood up. “Canceled out by the minus two for the Panic! At The Disco,”

“Wonnie, I swear, it was a phase-”

“I’m actually changing your name in my phone to Brendon Urie Superfan -”

Hyeju grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, biting her tongue to stop from laughing when Chaewon tried to squirm free. “Hyeju!” She whined, trying to push back but ultimately making them both fall onto the bed. 

They both winced as their heads knocked together and Hyeju pushed Chaewon’s hair out of her own face. “That’s what you get,” She murmured.

Chaewon pulled away just enough for them to lock eyes, her gaze flickering over Hyeju’s face. Her tongue wet her lips and Hyeju found herself drawn to it, admiring how soft and pink they looked. 

Chaewon cleared her throat and they sat up at the same time, both blushing lightly. Hyeju fixed the collar of her shirt and smoothed the furrow in her brow.

Chaewon was her best friend, and that was just…weird. Totally weird. Totally not something she’d find herself thinking about later. 

“Uh, so,” Chaewon cleared her throat yet again. “I need to unpack, and so do you,”

“There’s a bathroom ensuite, I’ll use it after you,” Hyeju offered. Chaewon nodded with a tight smile and moved to open the suitcases. 

Hyeju tried to ignore how awkward it suddenly felt and prepared the room, putting on fresh sheets from the closet and checking the drawers to make there was room for Chaewon’s things. Chaewon entered the  bathroom and Hyeju exhaled deeply, pushing her hair out of her face. 

“Ready to face them?” 

Hyeju turned around to see Chaewon stepping out of the bathroom, now dressed in a cute red and white holiday sweater and light-washed jeans. Her hair was curled slightly and her makeup was done lightly. She looked nervous. 

“Wow,” Hyeju smiled. “Dressing to impress?”

“I already have my fake girlfriend, I’m good,” Chaewon huffed and flicked her forehead. “Although, I suppose if I want to move up in the world, my girlfriend does have a very handsome elder sister,”

Hyeju rolled her eyes as hard as physically possible and entered the bathroom to fix her hair and apply one layer of mascara, and then she was joining Chaewon in the bedroom and doing one last inspection of them in the floor-length mirror. 

“We look like girlfriends, do you think?” Hyeju asked her.

“The matching earmuffs would help,” The older mused. Hyeju pursed her lips. “But I think we look the part,”

“Alright then,” Hyeju took her arm. “Let’s go give them a show,”

☁︎

“So how did you two meet?”

“What’s the story?”

“You guys are just adorable together!”

“How is it, dating our Hyeju?”

“I don’t know how they think I’m going to respond to that,” Chaewon muttered to Hyeju when her great-aunt finally made her way back to the food table. “ Oh, you know, Hyeju. Just mediocre,”

“It’s a bunch of dumb, meaningless questions for a bunch of people I barely know,” Hyeju replied. “You don’t have to stress about them,”

“Why is your family so big?” Chaewon complained under her breath, tucking herself into Hyeju’s side. “Can’t we be an antisocial couple?” 

“Yes we can,” Hyeju took her hand and led her through the throngs of people and into the kitchen in the back, looking for food before they claimed to be too tired to keep socializing. 

“Hyeju! You must come say hi to Grandma!” Her mother waved to the two of them and Hyeju reluctantly approached her family members. Her Grandmother was short, with hair that was almost entirely grey, and dressed in a similar sweater to Chaewon. She was a very cute old woman, and Hyeju had always been her favorite. She let go of Chaewon and hugged her Grandmother with a smile when the old woman gasped in surprise at her arrival. 

“Grandma,” Hyeju bowed slightly. “This is my girlfriend, her name is Chaewon Park,” 

Her Grandmother squinted slightly, inspecting Chaewon. “Why, she is beautiful!”

Chaewon blushed furiously and smiled. “T-thank you. I feel very lucky to be dating your granddaughter,” 

“Treat her well. I know she can be a bit grumpy sometimes, but she’s got a good heart,” Her Grandmother squeezed Chaewon’s hands and then pinched Hyeju’s cheek. Hyeju laughed slightly in embarrassment. 

“She’s wonderful. She’s got to put up with me too,” Chaewon told her Grandmother earnestly. 

“I’d say we’re an even match,” Hyeju agreed. 

“I must say, I’m surprised we didn’t hear about you two getting together sooner,” Her mother commented. 

Chaewon shot her a look, and Hyeju brought her closer by the small of her waist. “I guess I wanted to keep Chaewon to myself a little longer,” 

Chaewon rested her head on Hyeju’s shoulder and the family “awwed”, and then Hyeju hesitantly kissed her forehead. 

She pretended she didn’t notice how warm it was. 

Once her Grandma was being entertained by one of her younger cousins, Hyeju took Chaewon to get a drink. It was crowded, and they ended up nearly pressed up against each other and the wall with their cups of punch.

“Going well?” Hyeju affirmed in her ear, and Chaewon nodded slightly. Her hands went to Hyeju’s waist and she leaned up to whisper. 

“Your sister is watching us,”

Hyeju didn’t have to turn around and look, she wasn’t surprised in the slightest. “Come here,” She murmured, and Chaewon just blinked when Hyeju tugged her closer and leaned down till her lips were almost brushing Chaewon’s neck. To anyone else it’d look like she was whispering some sweet nothing into her girlfriend’s ear. 

“Why are you so warm?” She muttered. 

“Shut up,” Chaewon replied weakly. 

“Just pretend like I said something funny,”

“I do that every time you try to make a joke,”

“ God , Chaewon, help me out here,” Hyeju pleaded. Chaewon sighed and then Hyeju felt her give the most half-hearted laugh in the world. “You are terrible at this,”

“Maybe you are terrible at this,” Chaewin whined softly. “Why am I doing all the work?”

Hyeju clenched her jaw. “You know that giant Kirby plushie you wanted?”

It was almost comical how brightly Chaewon’s eyes shone at the mention of it. 

“I’ll buy it for you. Just, please-”

“Ha!” Chaewon laughed, her eyes becoming little crescent moons and her hand coming up to cover her mouth, “You’re so funny, Hye,”

Hyeju spared a glance behind her, and Sooyoung was gone.

“That was terrifying,” Hyeju informed her. 

“It worked,” Chaewon corrected. She patted Hyeju’s shoulder and took a step back. “Now I’m going to use the bathroom, try not to many enemies while I’m away,”

The next few hours were excruciating. Hyeju tried not to make her desperation for people to leave too obvious, but at one point she did find herself herding some of her younger cousins out the door like sheep. Chaewon had been employed by Hyeju’s mother to clean up the food, while Sooyoung and Jungeun helped people find their coats and Hyeju worked to clean up the living and dining room with her father. 

“It’s good to have you home,” He told her softly, and Hyeju patted his arm. He had always been the most soft-spoken in their family, and she realized she hadn’t greeted her father before now. It had been an overwhelming night, and only then did Hyeju notice the sun sinking below the mountains. 

“It’s good to be home,” Hyeju agreed. “I missed it,”

“It’s never been the same without you and Sooyoung causing trouble around the house. We might need to get Daisy a friend so she’s not too lonely without you here,”

“Speaking which, where is Daisy?” Hyeju looked around for the husky. “I haven’t seen her all day,”

“She’s in Sooyoung and Jungeun’s room, we thought she’d be too overwhelmed by all the people,”

“Sooyoung and Jungeun? You’re letting them sleep in the same bed?” Hyeju raised a brow, taken aback.

“Well they are dating,” Her dad gave her a weird look. “We only have three bedrooms, and they already share an apartment. You’re sharing a bed with Chaewon too,”

Hyeju swallowed thickly. Oh yeah, she’d forgotten about that. Somehow, even in their years of being roommates, Chaewon and Hyeju had never shared a bed. Even when Chaewon accidentally set her mattress on fire that one time, Hyeju gave up her bed to sleep on the couch while Chaewon looked for a new one. It wasn’t like Hyeju could refuse, especially not with her nosy family. They’d definitely have questions if they knew about Chaewon and Hyeju’s sleeping arrangements back in New York. 

“Hye?” Her father asked. “You feeling well?”

“I’m alright,” She promised. “We’re tired from traveling, me and Chae,”

“You better go save her before your sister scares her away,” He smiled. “I can finish up here,”

She thanked him and returned to the kitchen, where she saw Sooyoung and Jungeun acting disgusting by the counter and Chaewon cleaning dishes in the sink. She approached the blonde, placing one hand on her waist and gently taking the cloth from her. 

“I’ll do the rest,” She offered softly. 

“What a gentleman,” Chaewon’s smile wasn’t teasing at all. She sidestepped to make room but didn’t move as Hyeju began to clean the plates. 

“Enjoying yourself?” Hyeju asked, shooting her a look. Chaewon looked tired, but she nodded. 

“Your family is kind. I think I’m on your Mom’s good side,” She replied, playing with the hem of her sweater. 

“Look at you, how could you ever get on anyone’s bad side,” Hyeju chuckled, satisfied with the blush painting Chaewon’s cheeks. “I think you charmed everyone,”

“They’re all so nice to me. It’s weird,” Chaewon found the curve of Hyeju’s elbow and she leaned her head on Hyeju’s shoulder. It felt oddly intimate. “It’s sweet. I’m still getting used to it,”

Hyeju pursed her lips. “I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologize,” Chaewon shook her head. “Thank you for giving me this, even if…” She trailed off, and Hyeju could see her watching Sooyoung and Jungeun in the reflection of the window.

Instead of responding Hyeju kissed the top of her head and continued to clean the dishes. 

“I’d say that went well,” Hyeju and Sooyoung’s mother said when she entered the kitchen. “Your father has gone to bed, and I’m feeling pretty worn out myself. Jungeun, Chaewon, please keep my daughters in line, and don’t be afraid to ask for anything. This is your house for the next few days,”

“Goodnight!” Jungeun called after her, and the other girls echoed it. 

“So, what are we doing tonight?” Sooyoung wiggled her eyebrows. 

“Sleeping,” Hyeju replied coldly.

“They’re exhausted, babe, leave them be,” Jungeun propped herself up on the kitchen counter and Sooyoung stood between her legs, resting her head on the brunette’s shoulder. Hyeju wanted to roll her eyes at their blatant affection.

“I was wondering how long it was going to take you,” Sooyoung told them. “I always thought you two would be perfect for each other,”

“Did Hyeju really talk about me that much?” Chaewon pulled away, thrilled for another chance to embarrass her roommate. 

“You know Hyeju, she’s always rather elusive. Yet every phone call, she’d find some way to mention you. Oh, Chaewon and I did this, she said this, me and her -”

“Hey Jungeun!” Hyeju piped up. “You know what they used to call Sooyoung in high school? She was always infamous for her h-”

“Hyeju do not fucking-” Sooyoung cut herself off and smiled. 

“I want to know,” Jungeun shot her girlfriend a weird look. 

“She was quite the player,” Hyeju leaned back against the cabinets, smirking a little.

“Okay! We’re done, we’ll both stop telling embarrassing stories,” Sooyoung said frantically. 

“I take it Hyeju was not quite so popular?” Chaewon wet her lips and smiled. “Just a hunch, based on her room decor,” 

Sooyoung, however much she clearly wanted to agree, said nothing and instead leaned in to kiss Jungeun reassuringly. 

“I wonder if this one will last,” Hyeju murmured under her breath, looking between Sooyoung and Jungeun. 

“I swear to fucking god Hyeju I don’t care that we’re related I will kick your ass,” Sooyoung pulled away to glare at her. “Just because you have a girlfriend now too doesn’t mean you can make fun of me,” 

“Hyeju,” Chaewon gave her an exasperated look. “Lay off her,”

Hyeju bit her tongue. 

“I like you more and more each time you speak,” Sooyoung pointed at Chaewon. “Now me and Jungeun are going to be in my room, and if you need me,” She pulled Jungeun to her feet and pushed her towards the stairs. “ Fuck off ,”

Chaewon slapped her lightly when the two older girls had disappeared. “You’re so mean,” 

“It’s preemptive,” Hyeju promised. “And I don’t need Sooyoung telling, - ahem, - all the stories she wants to tell,” 

“But it’ll hurt Jungeun’s feelings,” Chaewon frowned. “Sooyoung is so obviously in love with her and Jungeun shouldn’t doubt that. Sooyoung’s lock screen is a picture of Jungeun sleeping, for god’s sake. Stop bringing up her so-called player persona in high school,”

“After she told you all about my embarrassing comments about you?-”

“Be nicer,” Chaewon insisted. “For me, because I’m here,” 

“Fine,” Hyeju crossed her arms, feeling defeated. 

“And what was that about embarrassing comments about me…?”

“Let’s go to bed!” Hyeju smiled frantically and took her hand. “Princess,”

That worked enough to distract her from Sooyoung’s stories, and all she did was mutter a weak threat at Hyeju as Hyeju directed them up the stairs and into Hyeju’s bedroom. Chaewon didn’t say much when Hyeju closed the door, but she lifted her shirt and gave Hyeju a glare that was enough to make the younger turn around until she was changed. When Hyeju looked back Chaewon seemed much softer, dressed in pale green pajamas. She went into the bathroom and came back with a bare face and her hair in two pigtails. It was actually really…really cute. 

When Hyeju said as much, Chaewon gave her a disbelieving look and sat down on the bed. “Get ready for bed, slow-poke,”

Hyeju washed her face and put on her skeleton pajamas, which made Chaewon snort when she came back into the bedroom. 

“Nice pajamas, Ha,”

Hyeju frowned. “You bought me these, Chae,”

“As a joke,” Chaewon’s eyes widened and she slapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh my god did you think I was serious?”

“This was your only birthday present from you last year,” Hyeju squinted at her. “Yes. I thought you were serious,”

“I made you a cake too!”

“Which you burned, which set off the fire alarms-”

“You’re getting caught up in the details,” Chaewon waved the thought away and beckoned Hyeju to come closer. “Well, this explains why you seemed so genuinely grateful,”

Hyeju rolled her eyes and sat down. “You are horrible,” Her eyes passed over the bed, and then looked back at Chaewon. “Which side of the bed do you want?”

Chaewon blinked several times and then she almost seemed to get smaller as she turned her gaze to her lap. “Uh, I’d like the left, if you don’t mind-”

“I’m good with what you want,” Hyeju told her. 

Chaewon smiled and then stood up. “Hold on, I just need - where is my sleeping mask?”

“Do you really need that?” Hyeju asked with a scoff. 

“I’m weird about these things,” Chaewon played with the ends of her hair. “You haven’t seen it anywhere?”

“I don’t think you packed it, Wonnie,” 

Chaewon chewed her lip in apprehension and took a deep breath. “Okay, um- gimme a minute,”

“Chae,” Hyeju stood up. “Hey, come here,” 

She brought the blonde into a hug and only then did she realize how tense the older seemed. She stroked Chaewon’s back and didn’t comment when Chaewon held on tightly to the front of her shirt. 

“Hyeju,”

“Hm,”

“I, uh…I never told you this because it’s embarrassing,” Chaewon groaned. “I get really nervous sleeping in new places. Do you have nightlights or something? I don’t like feeling like something could get me,”

And Hyeju almost made a joke about a monster under the bed, but she could tell from the look on Chaewon’s face that that wouldn’t help now. “I don’t, I’m sorry,” 

Chaewon swallowed thickly. “Okay. Okay. Um…”

“How would you feel if I put the bed against the wall?” Hyeju suggested softly. “That way you have me in between and you can have your back against the wall,”

Chaewon looked at her curiously. “You’d do that?”

“It’s easy,”

It was not. 

Hyeju worked up a light sweat trying to get her bed into the corner of the room. It was heavier than it looked, because of the bedframe, and Hyeju almost considered getting Sooyoung to help. Then she thought about what kind of scene she might walk in on if she disturbed Sooyoung and Jungeun at this hour, and shuddered. 

After a good ten minutes of struggling, the bed was against the wall and Chaewon was helping an exhausted Hyeju up. 

“Thank you,” Chaewon whispered, and then briefly wrapped her arms around Hyeju’s neck to thank her. 

Hyeju sheepishly thought that Chaewon’s reaction was worth it.

The bed felt much smaller with adult Hyeju and Chaewon in it. Their legs brushed each other and Hyeju felt like a schoolgirl again, getting nervous over her crush smiling at her. Except this was Chaewon, a girl she’d known for years, and Hyeju was trying to keep as much space between them as possible so she could fall asleep. 

Chaewon didn’t say much about it, other than muttering an apology when she accidentally elbowed Hyeju’s ribs in her attempt to get comfortable. She ended up curled against the wall with her head supported under her arms, reminding Hyeju of a cat. 

Sometimes she’d fail to remember how effortlessly pretty Chaewon could be. Without makeup, brushed hair, in her pajamas, and exhausted, she still looked like she could be out of a fairytale. It was easy to imagine her as a princess in some romance story. Hyeju had once been envious of it, but now she just found it awe-worthy.

She thought back to that moment on her bed, and chewed her lip, turning to look up at the ceiling. 

They were fooling everyone successfully enough, but Hyeju couldn’t help but fear their plan was going a little too well. 

☁︎

Hyeju woke up the next morning because of the bright December filtering through the blinds, and her eyes adjusted slowly as she sat up, rubbing her head. 

“Chaewon, what-”

“Well don’t look!” Chaewon quickly threw her shirt over her head and shot Hyeju a half-hearted glare. Hyeju pursed her lips and stood up, going to her own suitcase and picking out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. 

Chaewon didn’t say much, but Hyeju admired her out of the corner of her eye. Chaewon was dressed more warmly today, in another sweater that was a little too long for her and a pair of dark jeans Hyeju swore once belonged to her. Hyeju checked her phone as Chaewon curled her hair, and then they were ready.

Hyeju was nervous. Now there would be no party to distract her family. She had to spend hours treating Chaewon like a girlfriend, with the blonde calling her baby , dealing with Sooyoung’s wrath, and grappling with her growing guilt from lying to all the people she cared about. 

“You okay?” Chaewon asked her, touching her leg and breaking Hyeju from her train of thought. The younger nodded, and Chaewon frowned, not convinced. “Still nervous?”

“A little,” Hyeju agreed. 

“We got this,” Chaewon held out her hand and helped Hyeju to stand. “Best friends. There’s nothing we won’t be able to handle,”

Breakfast was an awkward affair. 

Daisy, the family husky, sat politely waiting for someone to drop a piece of their food. She’d greeted Chaewon warmly upon meeting her for the first time, licking at her hands and whimpering, but now food had become her main priority. Hyeju’s mother and father sat at the end of the dining table near the kitchen, speaking softly about the events of the next few days. Sooyoung and Jungeun were laughing amongst themselves, and Jungeun was trying to feed Sooyoung off her own plate which kept resulting in chaste yet uncomfortable-to-watch kisses. 

Across from them, Chaewon and Hyeju silently ate their food. 

Chaewon had thanked her mom once and then she stared down at her plate for the rest of the meal, only raising it if Hyeju coughed or cleared her throat. They’d lock eyes, and then Chaewon would swallow and look away.

And it wasn’t going unnoticed by Sooyoung. Her eyes passed over Chaewon and Hyeju and she made a face, before kissing the side of Jungeun’s head and sitting back in her seat. 

“So, Chaewon,” Sooyoung spoke up. “I’m glad Hyeju invited you. What made you two finally make it official?”

Hyeju clenched her fists, beyond annoyed at Sooyoung’s wording. She made it sound like Hyeju had been in love with Chaewon for forever, and sure…okay maybe Hyeju had admitted something like that to Sooyoung when she had first moved to New York City, but Chaewon didn’t need to hear Sooyoung air out her dirty laundry.

The most annoying part was that it wasn’t even allowed to bother Hyeju. They were supposed to be dating, Chaewon and Hyeju should be finding the beginning of their relationship to be a sweet and cute story, not an awkward one.

Chaewon looked over at her and then took her hand under the table. “I liked her for a while. She’s always been good to me, even when I’m a burden. What’s not to like?”

“She got my looks,” Hyeju’s mother joked, and Chaewon smiled warmly. 

“You make a really nice couple!” Jungeun added. “We should spend some time together, get to know one another,”

Hyeju and Sooyoung’s father stroked his chin. “I do need someone strong to put up the lights on the roof…”

“I’ll do it,” Sooyoung and Hyeju said in unison. “ No. I will, ”

“It’s settled then! You’ll both do it. I’ve got to run into town with your mother to send our Christmas cards and buy some last-minute presents and take Daisy to the vet. I trust you two will keep them out of trouble?” Their father looked to Jungeun and Chaewon, who nodded obediently. 

“Alright then, we’ll be back soon!” Her mother retreated to the kitchen, disposing of the dishes. “Try not to cause too much trouble while we’re gone,”

Hyeju found herself outside with the other three girls a mere ten minutes later, Jungeun and Chaewon holding the boxes of lights and the sisters with the ladder. Sooyoung leaned it against the house while Hyeju took a box from Chaewon, looking up at her face when their fingers brushed. 

“It’s too cold to just be wearing a t-shirt and jeans up there,” Chaewon murmured. 

“I’ll be okay,” Hyeju replied. 

“Slippery too, Hyeju. There’s ice,” Her brow furrowed adorably and Hyeju smiled. She suddenly had the urge to tuck the strand blonde strands of Chaewon’s hair behind her ear. “Please let me get you a hat,”

“Chae, I’ll be fine,” She promised. She leaned in closer, aware of Jungeun watching them. “Just stand down here and look pretty, and I won’t feel cold,” 

Chaewon pursed her lips and then snorted. “That was a bad line. One of your worst. Here-” She set the box down and took off her pale pink gloves. “Wear these. That way at least you don’t get frostbite,”

Hyeju hesitated. “Do I have to-”

“Or you can sleep on your childhood carpet instead of your bed!”

“...”

“And I’ll tell my Twitter followers that you were and still are a major Sinner ,”

Hyeju begrudgingly accepted the gloves and shot her a displeased look. “You know, most people don’t know the name of the Panic! At The Disco fanbase if they haven’t been a fan,”

“It’s what I get for living with an emo roomma- girlfriend. Girlfriend,” Chaewon patted her cheek. She side-eyed Jungeun and then looked into Hyeju’s eyes intently. “I’d kiss you, but your lips are chapped,”

Hyeju could feel a blush painting her face, and she focused instead on putting on Chaewon’s gloves and trying not to smile. 

“Now go, I don’t want to stand out here longer than I have to,” Chaewon shoved her hands in her pockets and groaned. “And without my gloves too, Hyeju, your days are numbered,”

Jungeun laughed and locked arms with Chaewon as Sooyoung and Hyeju ascended to the roof, bickering amongst themselves about who would do what. Jungeun sighed and chewed her lip.

“Maybe I’m weird, but I can’t help but think Sooyoung looks really good right now,” She murmured. Chaewon’s eyes found Sooyoung, who was by the chimney connecting the lights to power. Hyeju was at the other end with a staple gun, clenching her jaw as she focused. Her pink gloves didn’t match the intimidating vibe Hyeju had, but it was kind of funny to watch her push her hair out of her eyes with the same pink gloves. 

Chaewon felt something weird in her stomach at the sight of Hyeju like that, working up a sweat as she and Sooyoung made their way along the roof, carefully attaching the lights. Chaewon could see her muscles flexing from exertion even in the overcast light, and her eyes followed the careful and expert movement of Hyeju’s hands with the gun.

She shouldn’t be thinking anything remotely close to what she was right now. Hyeju was her friend, roommate, everything nonromantic in her life. She’d gotten pretty good at not thinking things like this, but last night and this morning, things had felt different. 

Chaewon mentally slapped herself. Of course they had. They were pretending to be in a relationship, and Hyeju was treating her…

Well, Chaewon knew she wasn’t allowed to like how Hyeju was treating her this much. But that was pretty much all she knew.

She also knew there would never be a time like this when she’d be able to talk to someone about Hyeju, and Jungeun was here on her arm to listen. 

“Hyeju too,” She murmured, and Jungeun agreed. 

“You two look very nice together. And it’s sweet the way she looks at you,” Jungeun squeezed her arm and sighed. “I didn’t picture Hyeju being that warm to anyone, based on Sooyoung’s descriptions, but she looks at you like you’re her whole world,”

Chaewon’s face felt warm. “S-she does?”

“Definitely. And with good reason, you’re a catch. I’m happy to see you found each other,” She smiled. “So, what do you do in New York?”

Above them, Hyeju spared another glance at Chaewon. Jungeun had engaged her in a conversation that painted Chaewon’s cheeks pink, but Hyeju wasn’t close enough to hear the words. The ends of Chaewon’s hair blew into her face and she sputtered, making Hyeju grin. 

“Hey there, lover girl,” Her sister prodded her, holding another string of lights. “Stop your leering so we can finish this,”

“You tease me like you’re any better,” Hyeju grumbled, nevertheless taking the next bulb and stapling it to the edge of the roof. “At least I’m not making out with her every two seconds,”

“Hey! I’m affectionate, but I’m not doing that,” Sooyoung sat back a little and looked down at their girlfriends. “And…I think she doubts me. Thinks that I don’t take our relationship as seriously as she does. That’s why it’s important to me that I show her I love her,”

Hyeju’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Wow,”

“What?”

“You love her?” She asked, pleasantly surprised when Sooyoung sputtered and looked down at her hands. 

“Yeah. I do. More than in love. I really love her,” She smiled. “I never thought I’d say something like that,”

“I gotta be honest, me neither,” Hyeju agreed. “I’ve never seen you so, I don’t know, serious,”

“I’ve got to get this right,” Sooyoung took a breath. Hyeju wanted to ask exactly what she meant but thought better of it. “What about Chae?”

Hyeju looked away, back at the lights. “Not too sure there,”

“I thought you’d been dating for months,”

“Just because we’re lesbians doesn’t mean we need to get married as soon as we confess,” Hyeju grumbled. Sooyoung went strangely quiet at that. 

“What about me, is it crazy to want to get married now?”

“Wha- what are you on about? And why are you asking me?” Hyeju looked up at her like she was crazy.

“It’s just a question, god,” Sooyoung hit her. “And I’m asking you because you’re finally not a loveless recluse and I don’t feel bad talking to you about love,”

Hyeju stilled. “I…You still could’ve talked to me about this before,”

Sooyoung rolled her eyes. “Really?”

Hyeju was sincere. “Yes,”

Sooyoung swallowed thickly and grabbed the empty box. “Well, I suppose you’re right. But I just felt bad. You were lonely,”

“I always had Chaewon,” Hyeju replied, feeling a little weird when she heard herself say it aloud. Even when she was single, she had Chaewon to come home to and take care of. To make food for, to watch movies with. To depend on. 

“I’m glad,” Sooyoung said earnestly. “You deserve to have someone. You’re a good kid, Hyeju,”

☁︎

“Hyeju! You’re getting pine needles everywhere!”

“How is this my fault?-”

“PUSH!”

Hyeju and Sooyoung both groaned as they forced the tree upright and with a final thump, it stood proudly in the corner of their living room. Both of them were panting heavily, still dressed in their winter coats after lugging it in from their father’s truck. The rest of the day had been spent looking for a tree, and the ornament buying had been delegated to Chaewon and Jungeun. They returned home a little before Sooyoung and Hyeju, and Jungeun had prepared hot chocolate for their return.

“I need to work out more,” Hyeju exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips and taking deep breaths. 

“There are pine needles in your hair,” Came Chaewon’s observation behind her. She almost turned around to say something snarky back, but then the blonde approached and her hands began to comb through Hyeju’s hair.

Hyeju swallowed thickly. Rarely were their faces this close, and from this angle, Hyeju could admire the deep brown of her eyes, the slope of her nose, and the way she bit her lips in concentration. One of Chaewon’s hands rested on her shoulder while the other carefully removed the little needles from her windswept hair. 

“Pretty,” Hyeju murmured. Chaewon met her eyes in surprise and then smiled. 

“Still trying to charm me after this morning?” She whispered. 

“Something like that,”

“Okay, lovebirds. It’s tree decorating time,” Jungeun came into the room with four mugs on a tray, accepting a kiss on the cheek from her girlfriend before offering a mug to Chaewon and Hyeju. “Take off your coats and get helping,”

Hyeju set her coat on the rack and came back to Jungeun and Chaewon pulling out the red and white ornaments. Hyeju dutifully picked one up and attached it to one of the taller branches. 

Sooyoung and Jungeun spoke occasionally, usually Jungeun berating Sooyoung about her placement, but Chaewon and Hyeju worked in relative silence. Hyeju’s heart would skip a beat whenever Chaewon brushed past her, and every time Hyeju had to stop a soft smile from appearing on her face. Chaewon would mumble to herself in annoyance every time she couldn’t attach the ornament on right, and Hyeju wanted to kiss the frown off her face.

Woah, okay. That was a new thought.

Hyeju cleared her throat and shook her face. No kissing on the lips. Chaewon had made that clear. Plus, Chaewon was really just her roommate, a fact Hyeju found herself having to remind herself of more and more often. 

“Ow-” Chaewon took a step back, subsequently into Hyeju, holding her finger. Hyeju spotted the blood on her finger and her hand gravitated to Chaewon, inspecting it gently. 

“You okay?”

“Sharp pine needles,” Chaewon mumbled sheepishly, standing much closer than usual and her breath hitting Hyeju’s neck. It made her tingle. 

“You should be more careful,” Hyeju reminded her and then licked her thumb to wipe away the blood. 

Chaewon’s eyes gravitated to her mouth, and Hyeju’s throat went dry when they stayed there. 

How angry would Chaewon be - Hyeju asked herself - if she stole just one kiss?

“I think our parents are ditching us,” Sooyoung said to no one in particular. “Wanna make dinner?” 

Chaewon pulled back from her suddenly and Hyeju didn’t have time to call out to her before Jungeun spoke. “Sounds good. Me and Chae can finish the tree,” She looked to Hyeju. “You guys go,”

Hyeju didn’t necessarily like being ordered around by Jungeun but Sooyoung followed her request immediately and Hyeju didn’t want to cause a scene. She headed towards the kitchen without another glance at Chaewon.

“I saw that,” Sooyoung said as she pulled out a pan to fry some dumplings. 

“Saw…”

“That look you gave her,” Sooyoung snickered. “Do your best to keep it PG while you’re here,”

“Is that what you’ve been doing with Jungeun?” 

Sooyoung went pale and cleared her throat. Hyeju smirked, enjoying her embarrassment especially if it meant taking the attention off her and Chaewon.

“Ah, so that’s what I heard last night,”

“Don’t lie, my room is soundproofed,” Sooyoung looked far too smug with that information. 

“I’m such a good sister for not telling Jungeun why, you should appreciate me more,” Hyeju pulled rice to put in the rice cooker. 

“ Because I was in a band in high school, don’t spread lies,”

“ And because Jeong Jinsoul was in your band, and our parents still thought you were straight,” Hyeju winced at the memory. “If only your room had a lock too, I’m scarred…”

“Um, like you weren’t totally in love with her?” Sooyoung snorted. “Don’t lie, you literally had your gay awakening because of my ex,”

“Who?” Jungeun walked into the kitchen in new clothes, notably Sooyoung’s college sweatshirt. Hyeju threw up a little in her mouth and Sooyoung paused what she was doing to kiss Jungeun’s temple. 

“No one, babe, don’t worry,” 

“You guys talking about Jinsoul?” Chaewon skipped happily behind her, sitting down on the counter where Hyeju was working. “Oh yeah, Hyeju was big time in love with her,”

“My girlfriend in high school,” Sooyoung murmured when Jungeun looked confused. 

“Chaewon Park you shut your mouth,” Hyeju hissed. Chaewon grinned. 

“Soooo in love,” 

Hyeju threw a handful of rice at her, which made Chaewon scream and Sooyoung scold her younger sister for messing up the kitchen. Chaewon put on her most melodramatic frown and Hyeju glowered at her. 

“It’s okay,” Chaewon flipped her hair. “You’re down bad for me now,”

Hyeju stood up from where she’d been collecting the little rice particles off the floor - didn’t want to break her mom’s vacuum and she didn’t want Daisy to eat them - and closed the distance between her and Chaewon. She could see the blonde visibly gulp, her eyes widening. 

“I think it’s quite the opposite,” Hyeju murmured. She chewed her lip to stop a smile when Chaewon couldn’t deny it. “I think you’re secretly in love with me, Princess ,” 

Chaewon pushed her shoulder away weakly and scoffed. “You wish, Hyeju,”

“Hm,” Hyeju returned to the rice. “You’re still blushing,”

Chaewon ignored her, but her hand went up to feel the heat of her cheeks. 

Dinner was surprisingly nice. Jungeun turned out to be a photographer in LA, sharing her apartment with Sooyoung who was pursuing producing music. In truth, it was nice to see how Sooyoung looked at her girlfriend with so much love, and Hyeju made a point to be nicer to her. Jungeun asked her about her own work, and Hyeju explained her disinterest in a career and her job at some stuffy retail place. 

“In reality, Hyeju would just be a gamer if she could,” Sooyoung teased. “It’d horrify our parents though,”

“Whatever,” Hyeju rolled her eyes. 

Chaewon had been strangely quiet the whole time. Hyeju looked over at her occasionally, but Chaewon seemed deep in thought, a small frown on her face. Sooyoung gave Hyeju a concerned look but Hyeju just shook her head, assuring Sooyoung that they were fine. 

She couldn’t help but worry though. 

Chaewon retreated up to their room as soon as she’d brought her plate to the kitchen, and Hyeju hesitated to follow when she saw the stack of dishes in the sink.

“Go,” Jungeun insisted. “We’ve got it down here,”

Hyeju slowly made her way up the stairs, seeing the door to her room ajar and taking a breath. 

“Wonnie?” 

Chaewon looked up from her suitcase, almost surprised. “Hi,” She replied, and then went back to picking out her pajamas. 

Hyeju sat down on their bed, watching her with quiet confusion and concern. Chaewon eventually picked up her pineapple pajamas and took them to the bathroom. Hyeju heard the showerhead turn on and chewed her lip. Chaewon was acting weird, right? This was weird. 

Did Hyeju say something? Cross a line? Make things uncomfortable?

No, Chaewon would’ve told her. She certainly never had trouble voicing her dislike of things Hyeju did before. But…something between them felt like it was changing. Growing. And it was changing a little too fast for Hyeju to keep up. 

She only realized how long she’d been sitting there thinking about it when Chaewon came out of the bathroom ready for bed and gave her a weird look.

“You good?” She asked in confusion.

“Are you?” Are we? 

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know,” Hyeju shrugged helplessly, feeling foolish. “You didn’t talk much at dinner, and I thought maybe you were mad at me,”

Chaewon looked thoughtful. “I’m not, Hye. I never really am,”

“So are you half mad at me?”

“Get ready for bed, Hyeju. I’m tired,”

Hyeju sighed and entered the bathroom with her pajamas, following Chaewon’s routine of a quick shower and brushing her hair out, then tying it back and putting on her sweatpants and shirt. When she left the bathroom she found Chaewon curled up in the blankets and on her phone, watching some dumb Instagram reel that Hyeju would’ve teased her for if the mood didn’t feel strangely different. 

“Do I not get any of the blankets?”

“Are you staying here?” Chaewon looked up at her in surprise. 

Hyeju frowned. “Are you asking me not to?”

“No, it’s just…really early for you to go to bed,”

“I didn’t come in here to sleep, I came because you’re here,” She said. “It’s not like I want to hang out with my sister’s girlfriend, and you’re my best friend. Do you want me to be here?”

Chaewon chewed her lip a little and shook her head. “Of course you can stay,”

She sat up as Hyeju sat down but Hyeju felt too awkward to ask for the blanket, instead picking at her nails as Chaewon set up her laptop with some vaguely familiar anime they’d started together. The distance between them was awkwardly large, and it was all Hyeju could focus on. She cast the occasional glance over at Chaewon, but the blonde’s eyes were glued to the screen. 

Eventually, Hyeju had the thought to reach over and turn off the bedside lamp, and Chaewon stirred finally. Hyeju’s brow furrowed when she put the laptop between her and the wall. Hyeju almost said something about it, feeling hurt, but then Chaewon laid her head on the pillow and moved the blankets. 

“Hyeju,” Her voice was soft and shaky. She lifted up the blanket. “Can you cuddle with me?”

“Oh,” Hyeju shuffled down and took the blanket, wrapping it around herself. Hesitantly, she pressed herself against Chaewon’s back. The blonde’s hair stuck to her face and she pushed it away gently, leaning on her arm to see the screen. Just when she found herself questioning if Chaewon was okay with how close she was, Chaewon’s hand came up and took her wrist, then-

Hyeju released a tense breath as Chaewon guided her hand to her waist. Hyeju pulled them closer and felt Chaewon lean into her. It felt…really nice. Why had they never done this before?

Then Chaewon intertwined their fingers, bringing her hand up to her chest and resting her cheek on it. They continued to watch the anime in silence, though Hyeju couldn’t really focus on it, She watched Chaewon’s side profile, the reflection of the screen in her eyes. 

She was really, truly, and unequivocally beautiful. Hyeju wasn’t going to disturb the peace by saying so, but it had never hit her as hard as it did then. 

And she wasn’t just beautiful because of her features, or the way her eyes shone. She was beautiful because she was Hyeju’s best friend, her closest confidant, the person who always made her feel okay. She was the person Hyeju always wanted to make laugh, who Hyeju looked for in every room, who she’d spent years living with.

Hyeju decided she’d be okay if neither of them got girlfriends and they could stay together. As friends, if that was what Chaewon wanted. 

Hyeju wasn’t sure if that was all she wanted anymore. 

“Your heart is beating fast,” Chaewon uttered, and Hyeju looked down to see the blonde had closed her eyes.

“You’re not even reading the subtitles,” Hyeju swallowed thickly, ignoring her. 

“Don’t need them,” Chaewon yawned. 

“Oh right, you taught yourself Japanese like a nerd,”

“How could you forget,” Chaewon smiled, opening her eyes to look at her. Hyeju released a breath, and both of them were still. 

“Chae?”

“Hm?”

If I kissed you now… Hyeju’s thoughts did a record scratch when Chaewon’s tongue came out to wet her lips.

“Hyeju,” She whispered, something about it more desperate than before. 

“Your heart,” Hyeju said lamely. “It’s beating fast too,”

Chaewon’s face twinged with something sad, something almost mournful, and then she turned back to the screen. “Too much hot chocolate, I think,”

“Oh,”

Hyeju couldn’t help but feel like she’d ruined something just now, crushed a flower that had only just begun to bloom.

Chapter Text

  ☁︎

It felt more like Christmas in the following days. The weather had gotten colder, forcing Hyeju to actually start wearing her winter clothes and Sooyoung to shovel the walkway. Jungeun and Chaewon helped their mother with last-minute decorating, cooking, and household chores, while Sooyoung and Hyeju were employed by their father to fix up things around the house for the New Year. It felt good to fall into a routine, and good to have something to keep her mind preoccupied. When they had downtime, Sooyoung would invite the other three girls out to town to window-shop and get coffee. Hyeju and Sooyoung basked in the feeling of their hometown, finally free from their hectic schedules in New York City and LA, respectively. 

Sooyoung did ditch her little sister one night to take Jungeun out to dinner and a movie, which had Jungeun smiling to herself the whole day former and in a spectacular mood the day afterward - Hyeju chose not to think about it any more than that. It was good to see Sooyoung caring so much about someone though, Hyeju truly did feel happy for her. 

She couldn’t help but keep replaying her conversation with Chaewon the other night over in her head. Something about the way Chaewon had looked at her that night felt different. Hyeju felt a shift between them. With her family, Chaewon was sweet, clingy even, burying herself in Hyeju’s side when they spent time together on the couch or walking around town. She wore a sweet smile on her face when they were around Hyeju’s parents, and Daisy was absolutely taken with her. She fit into the family effortlessly, like the missing puzzle piece Hyeju had been searching for. 

And yet Hyeju could feel Chaewon pulling away. She slept earlier, her back facing away from Hyeju and her eyes guarded. It hurt. Hyeju couldn’t talk to her the way they used to, couldn’t tease or flirt with her in the same way. Had she hurt Chaewon’s feelings? Made this weird somehow? Was bringing her best friend really as big a mistake as it was starting to feel?

Hyeju came across her sister sitting on the front porch on her way in from taking out the trash. She was fiddling with a small box, which she shoved into her pocket upon Hyeju’s approach. 

“Hey,” Sooyoung looked up, a small puff of air created by her breath. 

“Hey,” Hyeju sat down beside her, wiping the frost off the steps. “Pretty cold to be out here,”

Sooyoung nodded faintly. 

“You good?”

“Just thinking,” Sooyoung replied. “Coming back here reminds me of a lot,”

Hyeju rested her elbows on her knees and breathed heavily. Sooyoung didn’t speak for a while, and Hyeju let her thoughts wander. 

She could still picture the momentary hurt, and pain on Chaewon’s face. Even in the dim light of her laptop, it was rawer than Hyeju had ever seen her. She’d broken something between them that she didn’t know how to fix. All she wanted was her best friend back to normal, all she wanted was to stop wanting to kiss Chaewon when she looked at her.

She did wonder more often now, what would’ve happened if she’d been brave enough to ask Chaewon out when she first met her. If maybe she’d be bringing Chaewon back as a real girlfriend this time. 

“I know something is going on,” Sooyoung murmured. “Between you and Chaewon, that you haven’t shared with the rest of us,” 

Hyeju bit her tongue. 

“I don’t know what it is, but-”

“We’re not dating,” 

It felt like a relief to finally admit it to her sister. However much they fought, insulted or annoyed one another, they didn’t keep secrets. Sooyoung looked taken aback at the confession, but not as surprised as she should’ve. 

“She’s not really my girlfriend. She’s my roommate, and my best friend, but not-” Hyeju’s caught in her throat. “Not anything more,”

Sooyoung rubbed her face, staring off into space. “I suspected that, but…” She laughed and shook her head. “I didn’t think you had it in you. Lying to all of us? Tricking us? We’re your family Hyeju-”

“The family that’s constantly reminding me what a failure I am for not finding an amazing person to spend the rest of my life with!” Hyeju clenched her fists. 

“You’re only twenty-one-”

“Exactly. I’m twenty-one. Why is everyone treating me like I’m some loveless recluse?” Hyeju scoffed. “How could I know what I want?”

Sooyoung looked down at her hands. “I’m sorry, Hye. It’s because I love you, that I push you so hard. I worry about you being lonely in the city all alone,”

“I’m not alone. I have Chae,” Hyeju’s words felt small and stilted when they left her mouth.

“It’s different. Having someone who you want to wake up in the morning for, who makes you smile at the mere thought of her,” Sooyoung smiled at nothing, it wasn’t hard to guess the person in her mind. “Someone to come home to. Someone who feels like home. Someone who feels as easy to be around as breathing,”

Hyeju thought, as she always did, of Chaewon. Of returning from late night shifts to Chaewon with still warm take out and a place for her underneath the blankets. She thought of the smell of Chaewon’s shampoo, the softness of her hands in contrast to the roughness of Hyeju’s. She was Hyeju’s person, who she-

Hyeju swallowed uncomfortably. 

Who she looked for in every room, who made her feel like everything was going to be alright. Who made Hyeju feel like she had her entire world in her arms when Chaewon hugged her. 

“How do you know?” She uttered. “Love. How do you know when it’s real,”

“It must be different for everyone, I think. But for me, I remember the very moment I knew,” Sooyoung leaned against the top step, watching her breath in the porchlight. The sun had disappeared now. “I was with my friends, we were out drinking and doing stupid shit. Jungeun was with her friend the whole night, Jiwoo or something, who hated me cause she thought I’d be bad for Jungeun or something. And maybe she wasn’t a fool to think that given..who I used to be, but still. I’m contemplating just ditching them all together to go home,”

“Sooyoung!” Haseul nearly fell over herself, caught from a rude awakening by the concrete by Vivi’s arms. “Look! It’s the moon!”

“Woww, Haseul, you spotted it,” Vivi forced a little more water into drunk Haseul’s mouth. “Leave her alone now, she’s tired of us,”

Sooyoung winced a little at that, unable to stop herself from looking over and seeing Jungeun and Jiwoo in between some of the guys from their college. They were clearly taken by the two girls, it didn’t take a genius to understand their smiles and the way one of them seemed to lean in as Jungeun spoke. Jungeun was pink, and while that was true whenever she drank, Sooyoung couldn’t help but feel…she wasn’t jealous. It definitely was not that. Sooyoung gripped the fabric of her own sleeve and grinded her teeth. 

The walk back to her college campus was less exhilarating than one would hope. Partially because Sooyoung was barely inebriated and was not feeling the spirit of the party! As Haseul kept loudly insisting. Also because the guy Jungeun had been talking to before was now holding onto her arm and helping her walk in a straight line. Sooyoung could hear Jungeun giggling behind her in the back.

Not yours. Sooyoung reminded herself. Not your problem. 

Sooyoung bid her friends goodnight with as much friendliness as she could muster, purposely avoiding looking in Jungeun’s direction. She turned her back as the group dispersed and began the cold walk to her room. She tried not to think about how that guy would probably walk Jungeun all the way to hers, maybe kiss her cheek to say goodbye-

“Soo!-ow…” 

Sooyoung turned around, startled, to find Jungeun on the ground. She’d run too quickly to catch up with the older girl and had accidentally bumped into her. Drunken Jungeun was not known for her coordination.

“...Jungie?” She helped the girl up with gentle hands, brushing the hair from her face. 

“Hi,”

“...Hi,”

“You were ignoring me,” Jungeun said. Sooyoung’s brow furrowed at the statement and she blinked a few times.

“You’ve got it wrong,” She replied. “You…Jiwoo all but told me I’m no good for you and you wanted me to keep your distance,”

“Jiwoo doesn’t know anything!” Jungeun insisted, her words a little slurred. It was cute. 

“You weren’t exactly making an effort to talk to me either,”

Jungeun crossed her arms and bit her cheek. “Well…okay maybe I was ignoring you. But then you did it back. And that hurt my feelings, so I drank some-”

“Alot,” Sooyoung corrected, holding onto her shoulders to keep her upright. 

“Alot. I was sad,” Her directness was endearing. “I wanted you to look at me,”

Jungeun usually got what she wanted in that regard. There was never a moment Sooyoung tired from looking at her. 

“But you didn’t, so I had to spend time with some dumb boy,” She took Sooyoung’s hand. “Even though I wanted to be with you,”

“..Even though-”

“Even though you’re a bad influence, according to Jiwoo. I know. Even if you may not like me like I like you,” Her voice trailed off and she looked wistful. “I’d always choose to be with you, more than anywhere else,”

“At that moment I was like oh shit, ” Sooyoung laughed. “Because..I don’t know. Love always seemed like it was too perfect to be real. But Jungeun was in front of me in that moment, and she was more real than anything I’d ever known. I liked her, and she liked me, not just because we wanted to make out or take each other's clothes off. But because we were two people whose hearts beat the same way. And I realized that she was exactly what I wanted. That I loved her. It felt like my entire ribcage was being squeezed, it was absolutely soul-crushing,”

“Jungeun?”

“Hm?”

“Are you telling me this because you’re drunk, or because you mean it?”

“I mean it!” Jungeun hiccuped. “I like you so much! I am also…under the influence,” 

Sooyoung laughed, her heart fluttering like she was a teenager again. It didn’t surprise her that if Jungeun would confess, it would be while drunk. “I’d kiss you right now if I could,” She admitted sheepishly. 

“No! I want to remember our first kiss,”

“You won’t remember any of this?” Sooyoung patted her head. Jungeun shook her head like a petulant child. “Does that mean you’ll keep ignoring me?”

Jungeun yawned, then looked up at her. “Huh?”

Sooyoung just smiled and shook her head. “I like you so much too, Kim Jungeun,” 

Jungeun gasped. “Really?”

“Really,” Sooyoung took her hand. “I’ll walk you home,” 

Jungeun smiled back, and the silence between them felt like home. 

“Doesn’t sound soul-crushing,”

“I went home after that and cried,” Sooyoung told her. “I cried because I didn’t understand how I felt this much for one person, what I was supposed to do with it all…and also because I had to rehash it all to her in the morning. No one ever said feeling love for someone like this is easy. But it’s worth it,” Sooyoung exhaled. “Having her in my life makes everything not seem so dark. That’s the kind of love I want you to have. Because it’s the kind everyone deserves,”

Hyeju watched the sky. Little snowflakes had begun to fall, dusting the newly shoveled ground and tickling her nose. 

“You and Chaewon will figure it out,” Sooyoung promised. “Tell her how you feel. You’re the only one who can decide,”

“I just…” Hyeju chewed her lip. “If it turns out I feel…more for her, I could lose her entirely,”

“You can’t live your life accepting only what feels safe,” Sooyoung murmured. “If it’s hard, it means it’s worth it,”

Hyeju leaned her head on Sooyoung’s shoulder, taking in the moment of peace with her older sister by her side. The snow blanketed the sound, creating a perfect silence save for their breathing. Sooyoung held her hand gently. 

“Thank you,” Hyeju told her. 

“I’m here for you. Always,”

“Oh, and Sooyoung?”

“Hm?”

“I get it now, why you asked me that question on the roof,” Hyeju told her. Sooyoung looked confused. “I saw the ring,”

Sooyoung’s eyes went wide and she pressed her hand against her jacket pocket. Hyeju huffed. 

“Jungeun will say yes,” Hyeju said. “You know she will,”

“If you breathe even a word of it to Mom or Dad-”

“I won’t! I won’t,” Hyeju laughed. “Are you going to show it to me, or…”

Sitting there watching the spark in Sooyoung’s eyes, Hyeju replayed the words in her head. We were two people whose hearts beat the same way. You can’t live your life accepting only what feels safe. If it’s hard, it means it’s worth it. 

Hyeju made a silent plea to the universe that hers was in time with Chaewon’s. 

  ☁︎

“Chae,”

The blonde groaned into her shoulder and covered her eyes. “Too bright. Turn off the sun, Hyeju,”

“Working on it,” Hyeju patted her head. “It’s snowing,”

“Really?” Chaewon sat up, sleepiness forgotten. “You said that last time, and there was like one inch, it was pathetic,”

Hyeju followed her into a sitting position, their shoulders brushing. Chaewon shot her a glance, almost as if she was hesitant, and Hyeju took her hand. She smiled a little, and Chaewon smiled back.

“You’re in a good mood,” Chaewon’s voice was soft, like speaking any louder would disturb the moment. 

“Get coffee with me,”

Chaewon snorted in surprise, but Hyeju didn’t miss the flush in her cheeks. “We have coffee here, you know,”

“I want to walk with you. In the snow,” Hyeju stood up, pulling Chaewon along. “Please? I know you want to,”

Chaewon’s smile became a little more fragile and she nodded quietly. “Lemme get dressed, and I’ll meet you downstairs,”

Hyeju let herself be pushed out of the room, not caring that she was still in her pajamas. It was much earlier in the day than she was used to being up, but she woke up with a sense of determination. Sooyoung’s words kept bouncing around in her brain until all she could think about was Chaewon and her. She imagined holding Chaewon’s hand, waking up beside her, all the things that would change if she felt more for Chaewon than a friend. But would taking the leap of faith to reach that be worth the possibility of losing her best friend? Nothing would be the same if she spoke aloud her feelings. And Hyeju didn’t know if she could take that. 

She descended the stairs to find Jungeun and Sooyoung making breakfast, except there was a little too much giggling involved. She watched Sooyoung come up and hug Jungeun from behind as the younger rolled out dough for rolls, but Jungeun’s hands were bare of any rings. 

Hm.

“Am I interrupting something?” Hyeju yawned as she crossed the threshold into the kitchen, and Sooyoung and Jungeun broke apart like high schoolers caught by a teacher. Jungeun shot her a smile while Sooyoung mouthed what looked like a combination of curse words and keep your mouth shut about you know what to which Hyeju rolled her eyes. 

“Hey Jungeun, just curious. Have you ever thought of, you know, settling down and having kids?”

Jungeun looked taken aback but not nearly as horrified as Sooyoung, who was having a brain aneurysm behind her.

“It sounds nice, I think. I’d like to have children if I married someone who wanted them too,” She continued to fry up the eggs, unaware of Sooyoung’s anxiety and silent threats at her younger sister. She smiled and looked up at Hyeju. “Why do you ask? Chaewon and you talking about it?”

Hyeju flushed, looking away. “Uh-m,”

“Aw, Sooyoung look at her. They’re so cute,” Jungeun grinned and looked over her shoulder. “Babe?”

“Yep! Yes, I…” Sooyoung blinked several times and laughed nervously. “I’m going to make toast,”

Jungeun snorted in mild amusement when Sooyoung turned her back and then looked at Hyeju. “You guys got plans today?”

“Coffee,” Hyeju said shortly. “We’re going out, don’t wait for us,”

“Have fun!” Jungeun replied. “But put on a coat, Hyeju. It’s freezing out there and there’s a foot of snow,” 

“I will, I will,” Hyeju rolled her eyes. “You sound like my mom,”

“Your mom is smart,” Jungeun replied without even looking up. 

“Hye?” Chaewon called from the doorway. “You ready?”

“Yeah, coming,” Hyeju quickly grabbed a pair of socks and shoved her winter boots on, tucking the end of her pants into them. She stuck a hat that probably belonged to Sooyoung on her head and her puffy winter jacket. She turned, ready to open the door for Chaewon, and then realized it was the first time she’d looked up. 

Maybe Hyeju had finally begun to look at her differently after all this time too, but something was different about Chaewon. Her lips were shiny, like she’d put lipgloss on, and her cheeks were dusted pink. Her hair was curled lightly over her shoulders, on top of which she wore her pink earmuffs. Of course, her coat was a pink so pale it was almost white, and Hyeju would’ve made fun of how small she looked in it, if she wasn’t-

“You’re really cute,” Hyeju murmured before she could stop herself. Chaewon opened and closed her mouth, her eyes darting from Jungeun, who was in the kitchen but still watching them, and then back to Hyeju. Was Hyeju saying that because it was true, or because Jungeun was watching?

“Come on,” Chaewon took her hand and opened the door, not sparing her another glance. 

Outside, the walkway had been shoveled by Soyoung just after dawn but past their garden, it was a foot of snow. Chaewon went into it with childlike excitement, carefully stepping off the porch and then practically skipping down the sidewalk. 

Hyeju followed her with less fervor but a smile on her face nonetheless. Chaewon looked back and made fun of her for being slow, but Hyeju just rolled her eyes and kept silent. It felt rarer these days, to see Chaewon carefree like this. 

“Come on!” Chaewon came back and tugged on her arm. “You take forever,”

“I’m trying to enjoy the moment, Chae. Chill out,” 

“We can enjoy it once I have coffee,” The blonde grumbled back. “And what’s with you being all in the moment and sentimental?”

“I missed you,” Hyeju was honest. “I haven’t seen you - really seen you - in days. I’m not used to it, and I don’t like it,”

Chaewon stilled. “I…I missed you too,”

“Everything just feels weird when it’s for my family,”

“Yeah! Yeah, it does,” Chaewon took her hand, pointedly not looking at her. “I’ve missed being able to talk to you freely,”

“I do like one thing though,”

“Hm?”

“Flirting with you when I know you can’t threaten me,” 

Chaewon’s smile faded, replaced with a look more guarded. “Oh,” 

“What, is it that bad?”

“No, no, it’s just…” Chaewon shook her head. “Come on, I want coffee,” 

“Wait, Chae, if I should’ve stopped-” Hyeju grabbed a hold of her when she tried to pull away. 

“Hyeju, forget it,” Chaewon said weakly. “It was fine,”

Hyeju groaned internally. She’d fucked it up again, hadn’t she? Just like how Chaewon had pulled away when they laid together, she’d broken the perfect little bubble she and Chae lived in. 

She’d broken it by caring a little too much and not knowing how to show it. 

“I’ll buy your coffee,” Hyeju sighed a little, feeling her heart skip a beat at how Chaewon smiled. 

Oh, this was bad. 

“Yeah, you better,” Was all Chaewon said, and then she was dragging the younger along toward town where the coffee shop was. Their fingers intertwined as they walked and Chaewon began to tell her about the anime she’d started, all while Hyeju kicked at the snow and watched the puffs of air billow around them. 

Storm clouds were dark and heavy in the sky, even though the sun had risen higher in the sky. Hyeju’s cheeks stung a little from the cold and she blew on her other hand to keep it warm. Chaewon leaned on her when it got icy, and by the time they were outside the coffee shop, Chaewon was practically molded against her. 

Chaewon let go of her once they were inside, choosing a table for them to sit at. Hyeju ordered for both of them, choosing a sickly sweet-looking frappuccino for the blonde and espresso for herself. She checked her phone and waited patiently for her order to come, thanking the barista and searching the cafe for the blonde once she had their drinks. 

She spotted Chaewon near the window, conversing with a man Hyeju had never seen before. Her nails dug into Chaewon’s frappuccino cup.

“-Oh yeah, my family lives around the corner. Funny that I’ve never seen you-” The man was cut off when Hyeju (maybe purposefully) knocked shoulders with him. He was shorter than Hyeju, with chestnut brown hair and kind eyes. Chaewon had been smiling up at him in a way usually reserved for Hyeju herself. Hyeju didn’t like to think of herself as a particularly needy person, but Chaewon was off limits to the likes of him, and she didn’t mind showing her distaste. 

“Do you need something?” Hyeju asked him coldly, looking him up and down in disapproval. He was taken aback by her attitude, scoffing a little and turning to Chaewon.

“I was wondering if I could get your number,” He smiled at Chaewon, and Hyeju scowled. Chaewon almost looked shy at his question. Luckily, Hyeju had no problem sending him on his way.

“She’s taken,”

“Oh…” He shot her a dubious look.

“By me, asshole. Keep walking,” Hyeju patted his shoulder and rolled her eyes. Chaewon let out a laugh, and then the man was leaving with slumped shoulders. The jingle of the bell on the door jolted her out of her anger and she relaxed slightly, happy to see his retreating figure. 

She sat down across from Chaewon with a huff, smiling sheepishly at the surprise on Chaewon’s face. They both took sips of their drinks, sitting in the silence for a moment. Hyeju focused on her drink intentionally, slightly embarrassed at this point at her immediate anger. 

“Possessive much?” Chaewon teased. 

“I just-” Hyeju picked at her nails. “Whatever,”

“You’re cute when you’re mad,” Chaewon reached over and patted her head, ignoring Hyeju’s glare. “Didn’t know I was taken,”

“You are,” Hyeju answered a little too quickly. “Well, not like I have some claim over you-” Hyeju groaned. “Come on, he’s not even your type,”

“Oh?” Chaewon looked curious now. “What’s my type, Ms. Ha?” She sat back in her seat, smug when Hyeju gulped. 

She realized she had no idea. 

Chaewon had rarely ever talked about meeting people over the course of their time living together. She never introduced Hyeju to any girlfriends, and hardly even mentioned anyone she was talking to. Holy shit, Hyeju felt like a bad roommate. 

“Chae,” Hyeju blinked. “You’ve never had a girlfriend,” 

“You never fail to remind me,”

“No, you’ve never even liked anyone,” She looked up at the blonde. “How is that possible? Are you like, asexual, or…”

“No! I mean, it’d be fine if I was, but I’m not,” Chaewon shrugged. “I’ve liked people before, I just keep it private,”

“How much more private can you get than me?” Hyeju frowned a little. “Come on Chae, I thought we told each other everything,”

“I…I liked someone,” Chaewon breathed out carefully. “I loved her, I think. But she didn’t feel the same,”

“I find it hard to believe that was true,” Hyeju replied. “I thought you’d never been rejected,”

“I never have and I intend to continue that streak,” Chaewon told her with a hair flip. Then her voice got small again. “I just...I didn’t want to ruin a good thing, you know?”

“Yeah,” Hyeju agreed timidly. “I get that,”

Chaewon took a sip of her frappuccino and Hyeju glanced at the icy window. She didn’t want to ruin a good thing either, but there was a sadness in Chaewon’s eyes that she didn’t want to know. Chaewon in her life was vital, but if they could be something more…

“I’m selfish, Chae,”

“Hm?” 

“I’m glad you’re here with me, instead of that idiot,” She said honestly. 

“Oh Hyeju. If only you knew,” 

  ☁︎

“I swear to god, Hyeju-”

Hyeju clutched her abdomen, her boy physically aching from how much she’d laughed. Chaewon hadn’t seen her snowball coming and it’d been a clear shot at the back of her head that Hyeju just had to take. Chaewon had gotten a few good throws in, but no one could beat Hyeju in her own territory.

They’d disposed of their drinks after a while and taken a long way back to the house, the scenic route without any cars and a beautiful canopy of snow-covered trees. Here, walking on the sidewalk meant wading through a few feet of snow which was surely getting into Hyeju’s shoes. Chaewon had laughed so hard when Hyeju had almost slipped, and Hyeju decided she needed to even the playing field a little. 

Her snowballs were not as skilled as Hyeju’s, which had been honed by the years she spent with her sister over the holidays, but Hyeju couldn’t deny the one that had hit her cheek had been a little sore. Chaewon didn’t intend to show mercy, so neither would she. 

So she scooped up a pile of snow, made it into a ball, and chucked it at Chaewon’s laughing figure. 

Which had begun a snowball fight for the ages. Chaewon had shrieked and hurled threats so vulgar Hyeju’s mouth fell open. Then there was an avalanche of snow directed at Hyeju’s face and she’d been forced to find cover. 

Hyeju had no idea how long they’d been at this, but she did know that her toes were starting to go numb and her nose stung from the cold. Despite her red fingers, Hyeju scooped up yet another handful of snow and pressed it firmly into a ball. She looked up, waiting for a break in Chaewon’s aerial assault, and then took her aim.

It made contact with Chaewon’s forehead, and the blonde stumbled. She turned her back on Hyeju, and Hyeju rejoiced in her victory, pumping her fist in the air. 

Except then she saw Chaewon holding her face, and falling to her knees. 

“Oh shit,” Hyeju muttered. “Fuck..Chae?” The blonde didn’t respond, and Hyeju came out from behind her tree, terrified she’d really hurt her. “Chae, please tell me you’re okay. I’m sorry, I was too harsh, oh fuck-”

As she got closer, Chaewon began to shake, and Hyeju felt like crying. “Chae-”

Then a wall of snow hit her face, and Hyeju choked on air and tried unsuccessfully to block it. She coughed, snow going down the front of her jacket and sticking to her eyelashes. Chaewon had thrown an entire pile of snow right into her face.

“I FUCKING GOT YOU,” Chaewon was cackling like a witch, thoroughly pleased with herself. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her eyes were sparkling. That’s when Hyeju knew. 

She was in love with Park Chaewon.

It didn’t feel like a crushing weight like she thought it might. It was something easy, as natural as breathing. She wanted to do this every day for the rest of her life. See Chaewon smile, listen to her laugh. She didn’t mind if it was her expense, as long as Chaewon looked at her. She’d do anything she could for Chaewon’s attention, to spend all her time by her side. It didn’t even feel like some big revelation. It was just her finally stepping back to see the bigger image clearly. Everything she was now, it because of Chaewon.

It was so clear, Hyeju had no idea how she hadn’t seen it before. 

Chaewon was still smiling widely. “What?”

“Chae,” Hyeju spoke softly. “Can I…”

Chaewon stilled, looking wary. Hyeju took her hand and pulled her a little closer, till they were flush against each other. Both her hands found Chaewon’s cheeks, admiring her face. Chaewon’s attached to her wrists, but she didn’t resist. 

She was beautiful . Beyond beautiful. She looked ethereal. Her hair was loose and wavy, her eyes were wide and deep. Her face was pink, and her lips were quivering slightly from the cold. 

Hyeju kissed her. It was soft, innocent, almost hesitant, but Hyeju couldn’t ask for anything more perfect. Chaewon’s eyes fluttered shut and she leaned into Hyeju, gasping a little against her mouth. 

Yep. She was definitely in love. That was the only word that could be used to describe the warmth in her chest, the fluttering of butterflies in her stomach. All Hyeju knew was the softness of her lips, the taste of vanilla and caramel from her drink, Chaewon’s hands-

Chaewon’s hands shoving her harshly away. 

“No,” Chaewon rubbed her face. “No. I told you. I made it clear. It was in the rules,”

No kissing on the lips. 

Hyeju’s heart sank. “Wonnie, let me explain,”

“Fuck!” Chaewon squeezed her eyes shut, her voice strained. “Hyeju, literally what were you thinking?”

Hyeju’s throat got tight. “I just…I thought,”

“There’s not even anyone around,” Chaewon exclaimed angrily. “What’s the point of…” She swallowed thickly. “Listen, Hyeju. I get that me playing your girlfriend might be fun , sometimes, or make you feel good..” She blinked away tears. “But I won’t let you play with my feelings like that. I was hurting myself to do this for you, you know. I was willing to, because you’re my best friend. But this…” She looked at Hyeju desperately. “I can’t do this,”

Hyeju felt lost. “Chae, what…” 

Chaewon turned and began to make her way back towards the house, shoulders slumped and head down. Hyeju stood there like a fool, taking this in. 

“I won’t let you play with my feelings like that,”

Oh. 

It all seemed quite simple, actually. 

“Wait!” Hyeju ran after her, desperate to make her understand. Her heart hurt thinking that Chaewon believed she’d kissed the blonde for fun, or for their white lie. “Chae! Let me explain!”

“I don’t want to talk- oh!”

In Hyeju’s haste, she’d accidentally stepped on the ice and come sliding towards Chaewon a little too fast, sending them both to the ground. The powdery snow and Hyeju’s body blocked Chaewon’s fall, so Hyeju got the brunt of the ground.

“Oh, fuck me,” Hyeju clutched her head, groaning. Chaewon didn’t say anything but her eyes were filled with concern. “Chae, Chae, don’t get up-”

“I won’t,” Chaewon told her. “Not until I’m sure you don’t have a concussion at least,”

“I feel fine,”

“Well I’m glad you feel fine-” Chaewon scoffed and gathered herself to stand up.

“Chaewon,” Hyeju sat up a little too fast but ignored it. “Please. Just let me explain,”

Chaewon clenched her jaw. 

“I’m in love with you,”

“Oh, fuck you-”

“Chaewon!” Hyeju yelled. “I love you. You’re the person I think of first when I wake up. You’re the person I want to wake up next to, eat breakfast with. I want to listen to you complain about your stupid coworkers and cuddle with you on the couch when we watch shows. I want to hold your hand and I want you to look for me in a crowd of people. I want to fall asleep next to you, be the one you ask for comfort when you’re scared. Chae, I want to kiss you. Every single time I look at you, I just-” She cleared her throat. “I’m trying to get my shit together, I’m trying to show you, okay?”

Chaewon’s face changed, and she relaxed. “Hye,”

“Chae,”

“You idiot,” Chaewon cupped her face in her hands. “You’re unbelievable,”

“Sorry,”

“I didn’t like anyone all this time, because I liked you,” Chaewon’s words were so quiet it was almost a whisper. 

“Wait so…I’m that idiot,” Hyeju’s mouth formed a little ‘O’. “And you didn’t wanna ruin a good thing,”

“The best thing. You’re the best thing in my life,” Chaewon pressed their foreheads together. “You are everything to me, Hyeju,”

“You wouldn’t ruin anything,” Hyeju insisted, feeling small. “You couldn’t. I love you,”

“I love you too,” Chaewon whispered. “I love you. I love you-”

“Can I kiss you?” Hyeju pleaded. 

Chaewon took Hyeju’s hat off her head and tousled her hair, and then the hands in her hair were pulling them together and Hyeju’s mouth found Chaewon’s. The blonde squeaked a little at her fervor but didn’t protest when Hyeju wrapped her arms around Chaewon’s midriff and tugged them infinitely closer. 

“Chae,” Hyeju breathed out. 

“Hm,”

“I take it back,” She rubbed her head. “I might have a concussion,” 

Chaewon pursed her lips, and then took her hand. “Let’s get you home,” 

Hyeju held onto her tightly as they made their way back to Hyeju’s parent’s house, and despite her pain, she couldn’t stop smiling. She shed her coat and hat once they were inside and took off her sneakers as Chaewon went into the kitchen to explain that Hyeju had hit her head and needed to lie down. 

And then once they were up the stairs, Hyeju was kissing her again. Her heart soared when Chaewon kissed her back, a smile on her lips. Hyeju shoved her door open and laughed at the passing comment Chaewon made about Brendon Urie, and then the door was shut and Hyeju was kissing her again. 

“Babe,” Chaewon’s soft words did something to Hyeju’s insides. “You’re gonna rest, remember?” 

“This is resting,”

“Uh huh,” Chaewon rolled her eyes. “Come on,”

And when Hyeju fell asleep at noon, Chaewon stroking her hair and murmuring sweet nothings, she decided that this was where she’d always been meant to be. 

  ☁︎

“Merry Christmas, Wonnie,” Hyeju murmured, resting her head on the blonde’s shoulder. 

“I love it, Hyeju,” Chaewon clutched her giant plush Kirby with a smile. “Thank you,”

She tucked Hyeju’s hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek, smiling at the new shade of red Hyeju turned. Around them, Hyeju’s parents exchanged gifts and her sister was busy opening one from Jungeun. Hyeju had all her favorite people here in one room, and her heart felt full. 

“What about me?” Hyeju asked her girlfriend - her real girlfriend this time. “Did you get me a present?”

“Maybe I am your present,” Chaewon raised an eyebrow, her tone haughty. 

Hyeju almost made a joke about how much she’d like to unwrap said present, but then decided she was better than Sooyoung. And anyways, Chaewon reached down from under the tree, bringing out a medium-sized box. 

Hyeju laughed sheepishly as she opened it, recognizing the shape of comic books and hiding the covers from her family, who’d make fun of her. “Thank you, baby,” 

Chaewon brightened and snuggled into her arm.

“Um, everyone!” Sooyoung stood up. “I want to say something,” 

Hyeju looked up at her sister, spotting the box in the pocket of her sweater. Oh wow, this was happening. 

“Being here with my family and my girlfriend for the holidays has made me think a lot. It made me think about what I want the rest of my life to be like, and who I want to spend it with,” She paused. “And I want to spend it with the people I love most in the world,” 

She turned to Jungeun, who’d been sitting on the couch. “Jungie…”

Jungeun blinked. 

Sooyoung pulled her up gently by her wrist and smiled. “Every time I’m with you, you make me feel like I’m whole. Like there was some part of me that was missing until I met you. I know that whatever I go through in life, I want you there with me. I want to support you, care for you, and love you until the day I die. I know that my love for you is the one thing I can always be sure of,”

Jungeun’s hand went to her mouth. “Sooyoung…”

“And I don’t want to waste another moment not letting you know just how much I feel. I love you, Jungeun. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you,” She smiled, eyes shiny. “And I know I never will again,” She got down on one knee, pulling the box out of her pocket. Chaewon gasped, and Hyeju’s dad got out his phone. “That’s why I want to ask you to marry me, Jungeun,”

Jungeun choked out a happy sob. 

“So-”

“Yes, oh my god,” Jungeun grabbed her face and kissed her passionately. The couch cheered, and Sooyoung slid the ring onto her finger with a grin. 

“You better get me a bigger diamond than that one day,” Chaewon murmured into her shoulder. 

“Just wait Chae,” Hyeju promised her softly. “One day, we’ll have everything you could ever want,” 

That night, Hyeju only had one thought on her mind as she hugged Chaewon to her chest. 

Thank you, Choi Yerim. Breaking up with you was the best thing I ever did.