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Theo Raeken could admit that he was not always a good person. He was an immensely flawed individual. He isn’t sure the weight of his sins should have equaled an actual hell. Death? Sure, turnabout's fair play. But hell? Being hunted down by his little sister over and over and over again. Having his heart ripped out of his chest over and over and over again. It seems a little much even for a monster like him.
He supposes that’s what people see him as. A monster. He killed his own sister. Only monsters could do that. He killed Josh. He killed Tracy. Hell, he had killed Scott. Scott McCall, who was a True Alpha, who had trusted him, who had given him another chance even after Theo had murdered him. Only a monster would ever be able to kill someone like that.
Theo supposed having to live out of his car was a small price to pay after getting freed from hell. There’s no doubt in his mind that if he asked Scott, Theo would have a warm bed to sleep in. But he couldn’t. How could he ask Scott to shelter him when he tried to kill him? No, Theo could stay in the truck. He could wake up at the ridiculous times that the officers always caught him at. It was a small price to pay to be alive.
Yeah, he didn’t have any friends. Real or otherwise. And he certainly didn’t have a family. Real or otherwise. Theo Raeken — murderer, monster — was a little lonely. It’s nothing he didn’t deserve. And, yeah, maybe that one spider might’ve been the only friend he’s had in a long while. So what? For all that he might’ve been Liam’s responsibility, he didn’t seem to be required anymore.
At least it was nice out tonight. Clear skies. Stars in clear view. Nights like these often felt bittersweet. He should be out here with someone else. Not alone. Not curled up in the bed of the trunk with his one blanket wrapped around him. Not cold, even though it must’ve been in the higher 70s tonight. And wasn’t that weird? He was always so cold these days. But he had a nice view. And for tonight, that would have to be enough.
So, he was running low on food. And cash. Which meant that the truck might not be an option for long. Which meant, eventually, he was going to have to tell someone how he had been living. Which meant that people who hated him would no doubt know. Would taunt him. Not Scott, or Liam, never those two. But the others. Stiles, with no hesitation. Malia, too. Scott would try to tell them off. Wouldn’t work. Liam wouldn’t taunt, but he wouldn’t stick up for him either. Not that Theo would deserve such kindness from either of them.
Theo curls up tighter. Chin touching his knees. Blanket pulled tighter against him. Maybe one day, he’d redeem himself. Prove to everyone that he wasn’t just a murderer. Prove to himself that he wasn’t a monster.
For now, though, the starry night was enough to keep him alive.