Chapter Text
Kiri lounges in a hammock after joining Ronal and some other Metkayina women to gather in the reefs. Each day, she was becoming better at being in the water, but it still makes her dead tired after hours of free diving. Soon, she will have to help her mother with preparing dinner, but she allows herself to stay a moment longer, looking off into the distance of the ocean.
The sun is beginning to set and it casts everything in a warm orange glow. Kiri breathes deeply as she watches the waves crash into the rocks that guard the reef. The rhythm of the water helps her to feel at peace. She feels in tune with it.
Never in a million years did she think she would be living on a beach off of the ocean. Her family had to come to the Metkayina Clan, also known as the Reef Na’vi, in hopes it would deter the Recoms from hunting them. A group of evil humans that were brought back in the form of Avatars.
It breaks her heart that her parent’s demon’s are back to haunt them, and while she understands leaving to protect people, she still misses home. They are hundreds of miles away from the forest. From Spider.
Kiri sighs as she plays with her beaded necklace, hoping to stop the persistent sadness from filling her. It has been happening more lately, eating away at her bit by bit. It’s a mix of missing Spider and feeling like an outcast in this clan. How many times can someone bring up your “demon blood” while staring at your human features before you start to crack? She hate’s feeling beat down, but it’s the reality, and she knows there is only one person who could cheer her up right now: her best friend.
It’s the longest they have been apart, two weeks now, and it feels strange. It’s not right. The moment Kiri was forced to fly away from him off the cliff’s edge, there was a shift in the air. It felt heavier as the tears slid down her face. Spider rarely ever cried, feeling that he needs to be strong to be worthy, but his warrior resolve had broken when she pulled him in for a hug.
They had made promise after promise to see each other again, but those promises feel like they are drifting off with the waves as time continues to pass. Neither could go to the other without possibly alerting the Recoms of their location. And the Metkayina are not set up to house a human. Spider needs his oxygen replenished daily, and a closed space to sleep so he does not lose air overnight. It’s because of these issues that he was not allowed to come with.
It’s cruel that her favorite person has been taken away from her for such stupid reasons.
If Spider was here, she would not feel so different. With him, she is not a freak, just Kiri. Her true self. With him, she is the most comfortable.
She wants nothing more than for him to be here at her side. She can see it now. Their shoulders would be pressed together as they lounged in the hammock together. Spider would be making atrocious jokes, but they would still make her laugh. No matter what, he has always been able to cheer her up.
Kiri’s relationship with Spider… she hasn’t experienced it with anyone else. It is truly something special. They are both outcasts because of their differences. Both were war orphans. She is able to relate to him on a level that makes her feel like she isn’t alone.
“Kiri!” She hears her mother’s voice call out. No more time to wallow. Slowly, she gets up and stretches.
As she walks over to her family's hut, she notices many creatures following her in the water beneath the netted walkways that connect the Metkayina’s homes. She can’t help but smile. It feels like they are saying hello to her.
Kiri was afraid that when they left the forest, she would lose the feeling of Eywa. But, the Great Mother is all around them. The beating heart of the world reassures her. She only wishes that others could understand what she experiences.
Spider understands. Or at least always does his best to do so. Never judging her, and always curious. He lets her talk about what she feels without interrupting. He is quite a good listener.
Oh, how she wishes he could connect to Eywa.
She would love to show him the essence of Pandora. But, Neytiri banned her from ever even trying. Her mother feels like Spider isn’t worthy because he isn’t Na’vi, but Kiri knows he is. She can feel it when she is with him. Eywa accepts him as her own.
Before being ripped away from her home, Kiri had planned on sneaking Spider into the Tree of Souls now that she was older and her mother couldn’t control her every move. She knows that Grace, her other mother, was able to connect as a human. Jake, her father, had told her the story of how they tried to transfer Grace to her Avatar body to save her, but she was too weak. So, there has to be a way.
One day, she would like to become a spiritual leader of sorts, maybe even Tsahik (but, that is a foolish wish for someone who may never get to go home again). Then, she would change the rules so that Spider could connect to the Tree of Souls. It would be an honor to help him connect with the Great Mother.
Tomorrow night, Tsireya will be showing all of them the Metkayina’s location to connect to Eywa, and remembering makes Kiri practically giddy. Her mood lifts, and she prepares food without complaint.
At night she sleeps peacefully. It’s something that has happened sparingly since they left the forest. She dreams of brown eyes and a smile so bright and beautiful it puts Pandora’s flora and fauna to shame.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“Kiri, let’s go!” Tuk says excitedly as she grabs Kiri by the arm and pulls her out of their family hut. Kiri sees that her brothers are already on their Ilu’s and knows it is now time to see the Metyakina’s Spirit Tree. They have planned to go during Eclipse, so she has been waiting most of the day.
Now filled with excitement, she immediately jumps into the water to join her siblings. An Ilu is already there for her, and she smiles as she pets its head. She makes the tsaheylu, and then they are off.
The group talks and laughs as they follow Tsireya, Ao’nung, and Rotxo through the water. It’s moments like this that Kiri feels at home with the Metkayina. They do feel like a family and are becoming close friends, but there was only that shift after her brothers’ came to her defense for being bullied. Ao’nung and Rotxo apologized to her, and although they have been making an effort to include her and be nice to her, she is still a bit wary of them. But, she is trying since they are. For the sake of her family… and herself.
Kiri still occasionally laughs to herself when she remembers how all the boys fought. It was ridiculous, but how Lo’ak and Neteyam stood up for her still warms her heart. Seeing them fight for her reminded her that there are still people who care for her and don’t see her as a freak.
To reach the Metkayina’s Spirit Tree, they must leave the reef. It’s Kiri’s first time outside of the large rocks that protect the beach, and she is amazed by how open the water is. She can feel its depths and all the life at the bottom which her eyes cannot see. They don’t have to go too far before she spots the interesting rock structure surrounding the Spirit Tree.
Kiri lets out a gasp of awe as the eclipse begins to happen, and she sees that the Spirit Tree is underwater. It makes sense but still amazes her. The purple light of the Tree basks them in a soft glow as they slowly glide across the water toward it.
Tsireya leads them under the water and explains how to connect with their sign language. Kiri is still learning, but she understands that it’s the same as their Spirit Tree. They all swim up to the branches and connect at the same time. As Kiri closes her eyes, she is whisked away from the water and her physical form.
No longer in her actual body, she walks through the forest of her home. She runs her hands over the familiar vegetation. A smile breaks across her face as the sunlight filters through the trees. But, why is she here? Is Eywa showing her where she wishes she was?
“Kiri!”
That voice!
She turns to find Spider leaning up against a tree smiling at her. So delighted at seeing her best friend, it isn’t until she has run over to him that she realizes he doesn’t have his mask on. Panic fills her at the sight of his bare face out in the open Pandora air. Something happening to Spider’s mask and then him suffocating to death as she can’t do anything to help him is her biggest fear.
“Spider, where is your exo-pack!?” Kiri cries as she grabs his broad shoulders and looks around for it.
“Don’t worry!” Spider says as he gently takes hold of her forearms to gain her attention. “If there was an issue, I would have passed out by now.”
Kiri practically deflates as he gives her a soft smile. He’s right. She shakes her head, trying to bring sense to herself. This isn’t real. Spider is okay.
“Come,” he says as he pulls her through the forest, “I have someone to show you!”
It’s still strange seeing him without his mask as they move through the forest. Spider without the exo-pack is her biggest fear because it means death, but she now realizes that Spider being able to breathe the air is her biggest wish. If she could, she would take the barrier away from him in an instant. Then he can truly live among the Na’vi like he wants to. He could live freely without the fear of dying from a lack of oxygen every day.
“Where are you taking me?” Kiri laughs as they clumsily make their way over a log. Holding hands definitely makes movement harder, but she doesn’t want to let go. And it seems Spider doesn’t either.
As Spider brings her into a clearing, she realizes they are where they were all almost captured by the Recoms. The final fighting place for her parents and Colonel Quaritch. Only, it looks nothing like it did on the day they were there. The metal contraption that held her father’s human body as he fought in his Avatar one looks brand new. There are no overgrown plants on it.
Why here?
“C’mon,” Spider says, leading her up to the door.
Nervousness begins to fill Kiri, but she lets Spider open the door and lead her inside. Her bare feet hit the familiar metal flooring of the human buildings. Sitting at a desk looking at a computer screen is… Grace. Mom!
Kiri turns to look at Spider, but he is gone. She realizes her hand feels empty without him holding it. How can he disappear like that?
“Hi, Sweetie, “ Her mom says, distracting her from where Spider has gone. Grace has swiveled in her chair and is now standing. Her arms open, awaiting an embrace.
“Mom,” Kiri smiles and closes the distance between them as she wraps her mom into a hug. She notes that Grace is much taller than her, which wouldn’t be possible in her human form, but the way Eywa works doesn’t always make sense. Like, Spider randomly disappearing before.
“How are you?” Her mom asks, but as they separate, she is now in her Avatar form.
“I’m… alright,” Kiri says, realizing she doesn’t want to lie about her feelings, but she also doesn’t want to burden her mother in the short amount of time they have together. But there is a part of her that still wonders…“Who is my father?”
Kiri hates how unsure her voice is, as if asking is a bad thing. But she deserves to know, right? Why is it something of a mystery?
Grace’s face turns to pain. “Oh, my baby.”
“Why can’t I know?” Kiri asks. It would solve a lot of issues. It wouldn’t feel like a part of her is missing. It could explain why she is the way she is.
Her mother opens her mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a choking sound.
“Mom?” Kiri asks, concerned, but Grace only continues to choke. Kiri grabs her shoulders, in an attempt to figure out what is going on, but Grace’s eyes roll into the back of her head and she lets out an anguished yell as she is ripped from Kiri’s arms. She can only watch as her mother is sucked up into a hole of light, which blasts outwards, making Kiri cry out in pain.
It hurts! It’s so bright she can’t see. As she moves around to try and escape, she trips over something and begins to fall. Kiri expects to hit the cold cement floor, but instead, she is wrapped in a pair of strong arms. They are warm and pull her close. She attempts to open her eyes, but something is wrong; the light is fading out.
“Kiri!"
It’s Spider’s calling for her. His voice surrounds her, begging for her to wake up for him, but she can’t. She wants to answer him and reaches out into the darkness but nothing is there. She can’t find him. The last bit of light disappears and she loses consciousness.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Kiri doesn’t know where she is. She feels as if she is dreaming, but there is nothing happening. What is she waiting for? She tries to remember but trying to form a thought causes pain to blast through her. It’s as if she is dormant in an unknown land.
Why has Spider left? She wants Spider. She wants to go home.
That’s when she feels herself being pulled awake. It feels forceful, despite wanting to open her eyes. It’s as if her body wants to stay in this limbo state.
Many voices filter over her, all saying her name, but she can’t find the one she wants. The one she has been searching for desperately. Upon opening her eyes, instead of blond locs and warm brown eyes above her like she wants, it’s the teal skin and aqua eyes of Ronal, the Tsahik of the Metkayina Clan, directly above her. That’s when everything comes flooding back to her.
Her family is being hunted. She had to leave her best friend behind in the forest. They now live with the Reef people. And she must have blacked out after connecting to their Spirit Tree.
“Kiri!” Tuk says in a relieved voice, “you’re awake!”
And she still doesn’t know who her father is. Or why she has a different connection to the world around her. She’s still a freak and passing out most likely only made it worse.
The sadness she had felt working its way into her, was now causing her to shatter because of the pressure. It is overflowing. Why do things like this keep happening to her?
Everyone comes to her side to comfort her, but she reaches for Neytiri, who was already coming forward to wrap her in her arms. Before Kiri can stop it, she begins to sob.
She lets out everything she has been holding up inside of her. And after hours of crying, Kiri finally has time alone. While her family thinks she is asleep, she sneaks off towards the water and finds herself on a canoe with her feet in the water. She moves her legs back and forth and watches as the fish glow and follow her movements.
The canoe creaks and Kiri turns to see her dad climbing down to sit next to her. She can only sigh. She has told him a million times that she was okay.
“What’s going on, baby girl?” He asks as he puts a protective hand on her shoulder.
“I’m fine,” Kiri says, to keep things short, but she can’t help but lean into him. Despite all her hardships, her parents have been very supportive of her. She can always count on them.
“You missing Spider?”
The question is jarring to Kiri. Since they had to leave Spider behind, the only person who ever comforted her about it was her father. And she is now realizing how little everyone talks about him. Is it because it hurts too much for them, as it does her? Or does no one else care for him like she does?
Tears spring to her eyes, because she does miss Spider. She misses him more than she thought was capable, especially after seeing him through the Spirit Tree. It felt so real. Not wanting to give herself another headache, she presses a hand on her forehead to keep the tears from spilling over.
“Yeah,” she chokes out in answer to Jake, knowing she was quiet for too long and she could practically feel the concern coming off of him in waves. “I-why am I different?” Her pent-up frustrating spills out with the question, and she wishes she could take it back and feels the need to explain. “I know you think I am crazy… but I can feel her, like a word about to be spoken.”
“You’re not crazy,” Jake says in the softest voice. He leans in and whispers. “So, what does Eywa feel like?”
Kiri can’t help but smile a bit. Her father can be hard on them sometimes, but it’s because of how much he cares for them. There are many words to describe Eywa and how she feels run through her mind, but one makes the most sense.
“Mighty.”
Jake smiles and gives her a hug goodnight. Kiri finds her place on her mat between Tuk and Lo’ak and feels better. Eywa may be confusing sometimes, but the Great Mother will always be a steady part of her. Learning to accept it and not let others' opinions influence her relationship with the world is the best way to go.
For once, Kiri has a dreamless sleep. No dreams. It feels as if Eywa wanted to give her a break. The next morning, she feels well-rested. After eating breakfast, she takes time bathing herself, wanting to feel freshened up after the events of yesterday.
As she makes her way back to her family’s hut, she notices that her father and Tuk are standing outside, looking off into the horizon as if waiting for something.
“What’s going on?” Kiri calls out, feeling her anxiety build. She hears the sound of a chopper. Immediately, her ears prick up, wanting to make sure she isn’t losing it. What if the Recom’s have come for them?
She runs to her father and sister, but her worries are vanquished by the smile on Jake’s face as he turns to face her. What is happening?
“Someone is here to see you,” Jake says, still with that frustrating smile on his face. He holds out a hand. “Let’s go check it out.”
Still confused, Kiri takes his hand and lets him guide her away from the hut. Tuk follows along giggling. Where is the rest of her family?
On the beach, the Metkayina people have gathered to watch one of the human helicopters begin to land. Sand blasts at them from the force of the chopper, making it so Kiri has to cover her eyes. Once the power is off, she gets a good look.
Norm...? This is who her dad thinks is here to see her? He hops out of the chopper and smiles, waving to them in his Avatar form. But wait, there is someone behind him getting out of the chopper… Kiri feels her knees go weak at realizing who it is.
Spider!