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“this way," jeonghan says as they exit the elevator, leading mingyu down a well-lit hallway.
mingyu finds joshua waiting for them outside a practice room, and faintly hears music playing from behind the closed doors.
"hi hyung," mingyu greets joshua brightly, accepting joshua's eager hug.
joshua pulls away and takes a few moments to look at him, completely serious.
"mingyu," joshua asks. "are you sure about this?"
mingyu takes a deep breath, trying to push past the nervousness he feels. “i’m sure, hyung,” he replies.
-
mingyu stands to the side and watches him move.
"what do you think? does he have what it takes?" jeonghan whispers discreetly.
"i think so, hyung. i think he'll be amazing."
mingyu's not lying. it's obvious that the boy has potential, and both the talent and determination to succeed in the industry. jeonghan and joshua weren't lying when they told him that this trainee was the best they'd seen in a long time.
“soonyoung!” joshua calls out as the music ends. “come meet your new manager.”
after a quick conversation with his choreographer, the boy jogs over to them. mingyu watches his face and notices the exact moment the boy finally realizes who he is.
"woah," he whispers softly. "it's kim mingyu."
"it is," mingyu agrees, smiling brightly. “but you can just call me mingyu-hyung.”
"it’s nice to meet you," the boy says, as he bows deeply. "my name is kwon soonyoung."
-
the last time mingyu had been in a recording studio, he was there to record their farewell album.
he debuted nine years ago, as a member of gam3bo1, along with his friends seungcheol, wonwoo, and vernon. they gained popularity unbelievably quickly, with endorsements and projects and awards pouring in within a year after their debut. they were legendary , and nearly the entire industry thought that they would stick together forever, thought that they could beat the seven-year curse that ended so many of their fellow idols.
they believed the same thing too, until they didn’t.
they each had their own way of dealing with the disbandment. seungcheol decided to start a restaurant in his home province, wonwoo officially focused on his acting career, and vernon began to produce music for other idols.
as for mingyu? he turned everyone down, refused countless offers for modeling gigs and solo idol contracts, and directly contacted jeonghan and joshua to apply for a position as a manager.
because while gam3bo1's story seemed so much like a fairytale from a distance, mingyu would be the first person to tell you that it wasn't. he spent so much time, both as a trainee and an idol, wishing that things could be better, and made a promise to himself that no one else would suffer what they did if he could help it.
and now mingyu is here again, not as an idol but as a manager, observing soonyoung from outside the recording booth as he records his debut song.
now that he had the chance, he resolves to do his best to give this idol everything he wished they got from their managers.
-
they fall into a comfortable routine together.
mingyu gets used to the feeling of staying behind the scenes compared to being in the middle of the stage. it's strange, at first, seeing his other friends in the industry advance in their careers while he starts over with his own, but he comes to terms with it soon enough.
soonyoung grows more comfortable around mingyu too, more accustomed to the thought of having an ex-idol as a manager. he looks up to mingyu, asks for his advice even with the smallest things, and seeks his approval at nearly every step of the way.
from strangers, they become allies. and eventually, mingyu likes to think they even become friends.
-
“was that for me?” soonyoung asks the minute mingyu hangs up his call. “do they want me this time, hyung?”
mingyu looks into soonyoung’s eyes and sees the pure excitement shining in them. soonyoung genuinely believes that people are contacting his manager because they want to have him, and mingyu almost doesn’t have the heart to tell him that the invitation was extended to mingyu . but he has to, so he does.
there’s a quick flicker of disappointment and hurt across soonyoung’s face, but it disappears as quickly as it came.
“i see,” soonyoung says casually. mingyu knows that it’s not his fault that the industry just doesn’t take no for an answer, that mingyu’s still getting all these invitations to random events despite multiple statements saying that he’s not interested in coming back to resume his career, that this is the third call this week that had been extended to mingyu instead of soonyoung.
mingyu knows it’s not his fault, but that doesn’t stop a stab of guilt from passing through him.
“i’m sorry, soonyoungie,” he says instead.
“it’s okay, hyung,” the other responds quickly. “i’ll get there someday, right?”
“you will. i’ll make sure you will.”
-
“hyung? can i ask you something?”
“anything,” mingyu says.
“you know i’m a fan of your old group, right?”
“i do,” mingyu says, not quite sure what soonyoung is getting at. “is this the point where you ask me if i’ll introduce you to wonwoo?”
“i do want to meet him,” soonyoung admits, then adds, “but that’s not what i want to ask.”
“what is it, then?”
“i’ve been wondering … why did you guys disband?”
mingyu smiles sadly. "well, seungcheol-hyung didn't feel like it was right for him to keep going."
"and then?"
"and then we decided that there was no point in continuing without him, so we just ... didn't."
seungcheol took an extended hiatus for his health at the end of their fifth year. he came back after a few months, but something in him had never been the same. they never publicly addressed it, and the four of them decided to stick it out and keep going together. but as their seven-year contract came to an end, seungcheol came clean and told them that he didn’t think it was right for him to renew and stay. the three of them accepted his decision to leave, eventually deciding not to renew their contracts either. there was no point in moving forward if they weren’t together as four, no point in pretending they wouldn’t be lost without their leader.
mingyu tells soonyoung as much, choosing to leave out some of the darker details behind his former group’s journey. he chooses not to tell soonyoung that seungcheol wasn’t the only one that struggled. that wonwoo’s contract was almost terminated because he decided to speak up about their unforgiving schedules. that vernon wouldn’t have been allowed to renew if he didn’t break up with his boyfriend. that mingyu himself nearly quit more times than he could possibly count, with the last straw being the group of stalker fans who followed him and his family across the country on the one and only time the group was granted a break.
mingyu also decides not to tell soonyoung about the sheer neglect they received from their executives and their managers, about how these people were the only ones who had any real power when it came to their artists’ welfare and privacy, only for all of them to stand aside and do nothing as their artists crumbled from the pressure of the industry.
joshua and jeonghan are both a hundred times better than mingyu’s former ceo could ever be, after all. and as for mingyu? he’d spend his entire life trying to be a better man than his former managers ever were. besides, soonyoung is so young, so shiny and hopeful, and mingyu hates the thought of ever being someone who would take any part of his shine and hope away.
"i'm sorry, hyung," soonyoung says after a few moments of silence.
“it’s not your fault,” mingyu tells him.
“i know that, but i’m sorry anyway.”
mingyu turns to soonyoung and gives him a tight smile. “thank you,” he whispers, the two of them lapsing into silence afterward.
“hyung? can i ask you one more thing?”
“anything.”
“why did you become a manager?”
“i’m not sure exactly,” mingyu confesses. “i guess i thought i could help other artists, so they wouldn’t end up like us. i guess i hoped i could change this world for them. for you.”
“you would change the world for me?”
“there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you, soonyoungie.”
-
there's been a surge of something within mingyu's chest lately.
it’s been happening often, when the variety show director scolds soonyoung for missing his cue. when soonyoung exits the practice room looking like he’s barely able to stay standing. when soonyoung has to record the same fifteen seconds of a song because the producers aren’t happy with his voice.
there’s been a surge of something fierce and protective within him whenever mingyu has to watch soonyoung struggle, when mingyu realizes that he is unable to protect soonyoung from the harshness of this career. when the only thing mingyu can do is to be a steady presence throughout soonyoung’s day, only there to offer comfort and hope that he’s doing enough.
but soonyoung looks at him now, confetti falling all around him as he finishes his pre-recording for today's music show. the feeling comes back, this time stronger and harder to ignore.
and something clicks within mingyu, realizes that the feelings swirling within him right now are precisely the same feelings he feels when soonyoung smiles tiredly at him when the filming wraps up. when soonyoung accepts the bottle of water he offers at the end of dance practice. when soonyoung blushes whenever he compliments his singing voice.
huh. maybe it's not just protectiveness, after all.
-
“are jeonghan and joshua treating you well? are you getting enough rest?”
mingyu nods through a mouthful of chicken. wonwoo coos at him adoringly.
“that’s a shame,” seungcheol says. “maybe i should tell them to stop being so nice to you.”
mingyu frowns. he opens his mouth to say something snarky, and ends up choking on his food.
it’s easy like this, slipping into familiar banter with his members as if they’d never spent any time apart. all of a sudden, mingyu realizes just how much he’s missed them, and he feels tears spring to his eyes.
"cheollie," wonwoo says as he hands mingyu a glass of water. "don't tease, love."
"you two are disgusting," mingyu mutters once he recovers. his hyungs say nothing, too preoccupied with gazing fondly at each other.
mingyu's happy for them. they danced around their feelings for each other for the better part of their careers and had gotten together almost as soon as their contracts officially expired. with wonwoo's acting contract being more forgiving, they made plans to announce their relationship in a few months, something that would surely make most of their fans very very happy.
"you're disgusting too," vernon interjects, putting the focus back on mingyu. "mingyu-hyung is crazy about soonyoung."
"soonyoung? the new idol?" seungcheol inquires, eyebrow raised. "that's interesting. i should ask jeonghan and joshua about that sometime."
"i am not!" mingyu replies indignantly, so quickly it’s suspicious. "where did you hear that, anyway?"
"channie always talks about it. he says you're so into him it's almost sickening."
"i am not!" mingyu repeats. "and besides, lee chan? i didn't know you two were talking again?"
"i never actually broke up with him," vernon says like it should be obvious.
distracted by this new piece of information, wonwoo and seungcheol direct their attention to vernon. finally free from his best friends’ questions, mingyu takes another sip of water and wills the heat on his face to fade away.
-
soonyoung steps onto the stage and accepts his trophy to thunderous applause.
he turns to the mic to deliver his speech. he thanks his fans and his family, and promises to work harder to make them more proud in the future. he thanks his producers, choreographers, and stylists. he mentions the company, and thanks his seniors and their ceos.
right before he wraps up, soonyoung looks out at the audience, his eyes searching. mingyu makes eye contact with him, and it's like the world stops for a moment.
"and lastly," soonyoung continues, a small smile appearing on his face. "thank you, to my manager, my mingyu-hyung, for always having my back. for going above and beyond for me, all the time. i hope i make you proud."
it's uncommon for an artist to thank their manager by name. thank you speeches like this are often reserved for the fans, with a quick mention of the company thrown in at the end, mostly just for formality. this part was, in fact, very much not in the speech mingyu had given soonyoung to rehearse once his nomination for rookie of the year was finalized.
mingyu knows this. soonyoung does too, and yet he went up there and said all of it anyway. mingyu wonders if soonyoung means anything else by it, if mingyu would be crazy for interpreting this as anything other than a young idol’s sincere gratefulness.
the moment passes. soonyoung bows one last time and exits the stage. mingyu schools his face into a passably nonchalant expression, fully aware of the cameras now turned on him. the world starts to move again.
-
they celebrate soonyoung’s award as a company the next night.
soonyoung’s seniors shower him with affection and with servings of pork belly. joshua pours too many shots of soju, all of which soonyoung enthusiastically and greedily consumes.
a few hours in, mingyu begins to get worried, and moves to intervene by moving soonyoung’s glass away from him.
soonyoung frowns at him for it, and whines, “just let me have fun , mingyu hyung. aren’t you proud of me?” he sounds close to tears as he says it, and a sense of panic rises through mingyu.
“i’m very proud of you,” mingyu assures him hastily, and soonyoung beams. mingyu sees jeonghan’s knowing smirk out of the corner of his eye, and wisely decides to leave soonyoung be.
when soonyoung starts trying to kiss seokmin and seungkwan, mingyu excuses himself from his conversation with minghao and stands from the table. he’s not jealous, he’s just playing his part as a responsible manager. soonyoung needs to get home and rest, he still has to prepare for his schedules for the next week. besides, this restaurant is hardly a private place, and no one in the company has the energy to deal with unwanted photos from the dinner if the wrong sets of eyes happen to see them.
at least, that’s the excuse he gives jeonghan and joshua as he attempts to wrangle an intoxicated soonyoung away. joshua buys it, offering to walk them out to the car. jeonghan doesn’t, giving mingyu a look that sends a burst of heat onto his cheeks.
"drunk?" mingyu asks once they’re in the car, brushing soonyoung's hair out of his eyes.
"not drunk," the younger replies, with the confidence only someone drunk can possess.
“yes you are,” mingyu tells him. “you’re drunk, and we need to get you home.”
“but i don’t want to go home, hyung.” soonyoung whispers, and something about how he says it sends a pang of something indescribable to mingyu’s chest.
“well, what do you want to do instead?”
“i want a gift from you, mingyu-hyung. a gift you’ve never given anyone else.”
so mingyu drives them out of the city, away from the peering eyes and flashing cameras, all the way to an empty field he frequented in his days as an idol. he takes out a spare blanket from the trunk of the car and holds soonyoung close as the younger lies down next to him. he allows himself and soonyoung to have a quiet night under the stars, and tries his best to ignore his heart rapidly beating in his chest.
-
“thank you, hyung,” soonyoung says in the car.
mingyu stops fiddling with his phone and turns to face soonyoung. “for what?” he asks.
“for believing in me. for not letting me give up and for always taking care of me.”
“that’s just my job description, soonyoung.” mingyu says, trying to brush his words off.
“it’s not, though,” soonyoung tells him seriously. “i’m not stupid, i’ve seen what the other managers do and what they don’t. and i know what you do for me, so …”
soonyoung trails off, and mingyu looks up to see a blush painted high on soonyoung’s cheeks.
“so what?” he prompts, eyes fixed on soonyoung, even as all the voices in his head tell him to look away.
mingyu watches the way soonyoung takes a deep breath, watches the way soonyoung’s face turns into a look of pure determination, and finds himself holding his breath.
soonyoung leans over and presses his lips to mingyu’s. mingyu recovers quickly and pushes the other away gently.
“soonie,” mingyu whispers weakly. “we can’t.”
“why not?”
“because that’s not how our world works, soonyoung. there are rules .”
“but hyung,” soonyoung says insistently. “what happened to changing the world?”
they're at the precipice of something huge, mingyu knows it. no matter what he decides to do next, it will change both of their lives. in all honesty, mingyu doesn't think he's ready.
but he takes another look at soonyoung, takes in his shining eyes and pink cheeks and bright red lips, and feels his resolve crumble.
soonyoung reaches out to him again. this time, mingyu lets him.
-
"i thought you left," soonyoung says, relief evident in his voice.
mingyu turns around and sees soonyoung standing in front of his bedroom door.
"of course, i wouldn't do that, soonie," he says. "now come on, we still have time to eat before we have to go to the company."
they sit down for breakfast. mingyu wonders how to begin talking about everything that happened the past night. but soonyoung stays uncharacteristically silent, and mingyu wonders if soonyoung simply intends to forget all of it instead.
“so hyung,” soonyoung suddenly says, pulling mingyu away from his thoughts. “do you do this for your other one-night stands too?”
there's a forced lightness in soonyoung's voice as he asks, but mingyu hardly notices.
"soonyoung," mingyu says, steeling himself for the worst. "is that all you want this to be?"
soonyoung takes a sip of his coffee and slowly puts his mug back down. mingyu can see him think, sees the exact moment soonyoung decides on what to say.
"i don't want this to be a one-night stand, hyung," soonyoung finally whispers, equal parts hopeful and shy. "of course i want something more, i just have no idea how to make something like that work out with you."
and there it is again, the rush of fondness and protectiveness and care mingyu feels for soonyoung. the same mix of complicated feelings he's felt for as long as he can remember, starting maybe when he saw soonyoung move in the practice room the day they first met.
except now, maybe those feelings don't have to be so complicated anymore.
"then we'll figure it out together, soonyoungie," mingyu says, reaching out to soonyoung across the table and putting a hand on top of his. when soonyoung looks up at him, he continues. "you have no idea how much i want to be with you."
-
they tell joshua and jeonghan about their relationship.
jeonghan is overjoyed, hugging both of them tight and claiming that he's known this would happen since the first day they met. he even cries a little bit.
joshua is much more practical, sitting down with both of them for a formal discussion about what this means for both of their careers.
for the most part, mingyu's not surprised by anything joshua tells them. it's soonyoung who seems taken aback by the gravity of their situation, and by the backlash they will inevitably receive, not just from the rest of the industry, but from some of soonyoung’s own fans as well.
but there’s strength in soonyoung’s eyes as he listens to joshua, and firmness in his hold as he hugs mingyu afterward.
and somehow, mingyu just knows they’ll be okay.
it's not going to be easy. and it might still be a long time before either of them are ready to share this with the rest of the world, but that's okay. they’ll be okay.
-
mingyu finally gives in to his friends' repeated requests to meet soonyoung. he decides that his apartment is the safest place for the dinner, and invites seungcheol, wonwoo, and vernon over.
soonyoung is practically rendered speechless by seeing wonwoo, his entire face turning red even as he accepts the hug wonwoo offers him. seungcheol and vernon greet him with hugs too, and by the end of their introductions, soonyoung looks positively overwhelmed.
"soonyoung's a good one," wonwoo tells him as they clean up in the kitchen after dinner.
"you only say that because you're his favorite group member," mingyu huffs, but his chest swells with affection.
"exactly," wonwoo agrees, expertly avoiding the punch mingyu aims at him.
"all jokes aside," wonwoo adds, putting an arm around mingyu. "i'm happy that you're happy, mingyu."
"thank you, hyung," mingyu whispers. he rests his head against wonwoo's, listens to seungcheol and soonyoung attempting a drunken duet in the living room as vernon laughs loudly, and he knows that he is home.
-
they spend a week in osaka. soonyoung has a concert and an award show, along with several magazine shoots and interviews. in their free time, they explore the city, with soonyoung intent on doing every touristy thing he can find, and with mingyu faithfully following him with a camera, collecting footage for their tour vlogs.
despite mingyu’s best efforts to resist, soonyoung still successfully persuades him to ride the ferris wheel together.
the car lurches under mingyu’s feet as he tries to get on the ride, and he swears involuntarily.
"hyung," soonyoung says as he sits down, obviously trying to stifle his laughter. "don't be a baby."
mingyu tries to come up with a witty retort, but they start moving, and he lets out another string of curse words, leaving soonyoung giggling.
“holy shit,” soonyoung whispers once they reach the top, looking out at the city spread below them in awe. “it’s beautiful.”
“it is,” mingyu agrees, but he isn’t looking at the city.
soonyoung turns around to face him, eyes almost disappearing with the force of his smile. mingyu forgets everything but the boy sitting right in front of him. so he leans forward and kisses soonyoung, momentarily uncaring about the fact that they're suspended a hundred meters in the air, or that their workmates will tease them forever about having to see this moment captured on mingyu's camera.
they break apart, but mingyu keeps his eyes locked on the other's face, taking the moment in.
and it's here, up in the sky, with the city lights shining on his boyfriend's face, that it hits mingyu.
he's going to marry this boy someday.
-
soonyoung is six years into his career. they've been undergoing contract negotiations for the better part of the year, and soonyoung is sure that he’s renewing his contract with the company for at least three more.
they also decide to finally make their relationship public. the announcement was fairly simple, just a sincere personal statement from both of them, acknowledged by jeonghan and joshua, and officially released on their fifth anniversary as a couple.
most people are happy for them, some aren't. but soonyoung takes all of it in stride, readily affirming their relationship while maintaining that they wish to keep the rest of the details of their relationship private.
for the first time in five years, they're allowed to simply be . for the first time in five years, they no longer need to hide.
for the first time in five years, mingyu is allowed to love soonyoung in daylight.
-
soonyoung wins album of the year for his first release after military enlistment.
soonyoung is surprised, expecting a different artist to win the award. the industry moves very quickly, and after two years in the military, soonyoung was worried that he would get left behind.
but he wins, and as he goes onstage to receive his trophy, mingyu notices the tears threatening to fall.
soonyoung locks eyes with him as he gives his speech, and mingyu is hit with an overwhelming sense of deja vu. when soonyoung gives him a tiny but meaningful smile, mingyu knows that he’s thinking the same thing, too.
-
"what do you want tonight?" mingyu asks once they leave the celebratory dinner, the same way he always does.
soonyoung has answered that question in a lot of different ways over the years. earlier in his career, a signed copy of mingyu’s debut album, or vip tickets to shinee’s encore concert. as their schedules got busier, he learned to ask for other things, such as a free weekend or a short vacation with his family.
whatever soonyoung asked for, mingyu always delivered.
tonight, soonyoung looks at him, and says, "i want a gift, mingyu hyung. a gift you've never given anyone else."
mingyu smiles, hand involuntarily going to the small box in his pocket. he drives out of the city again, to the place where it all began.
on that quiet night under the stars, mingyu gets down on one knee and asks soonyoung to marry him.
“kwon soonyoung,” mingyu tells him. "i've had a lot of experience with fame. i've seen how it changes people, how it takes away almost as much as it gives. you know that as much as i do. but if i have to go through all of that loss and darkness all over again, i would do it in a heartbeat. because it gave me the greatest and best thing i have ever had in my life. you."
mingyu takes a deep breath and opens the box in his hands, offering it to soonyoung. "soonyoung," he asks, his heart about to beat out of his chest. "will you spend the rest of your life with me?"