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Foggy’s not sure why it’s so important to him. He just needs Matt to come home with him. It’s like an itch under his skin.
Matt meeting the Nelsons. It just feels like Foggy has to make that happen.
Maybe it’s Matt’s total lack of understanding about families. He seems perplexed when Foggy rolls his eyes and huffs when his mother stays on the phone too long complaining about how she never sees her son anymore. When Foggy’s grandmother sends a care package of home baked cookies and banana bread and Foggy offers Matt the first slice the alpha takes it like Foggy is giving him his heart on a platter. Like it’s the best thing he’s ever had and it’s just baked goods.
Matt needs to be fawned over, fed up right, and loved on. Matt needs a family and Foggy’s a Nelson. He has more family than he knows what to do with. He can spare some for his roommate.
For his friend. His best friend.
“Please, Matt,” Foggy pretty much begs. This has been going on all week. “It’s just for the weekend and I promise you’ll have a good time.”
Matt’s tense. Every line of his body standing out sharp and coiled like he’s ready to bolt. He’s licking his lips repeatedly while his hands clench. Foggy’s learning the signs of a stressed out Murdock, and Matt has most of them right now. “Foggy,” he starts so slowly. “Why do you keep asking me this?”
Even Matt’s voice sounds ready to break. Foggy watches the alpha take one of those weird deep breaths he used to do much more frequently when they first lived together. He shuffles a little closer just in case his theory about Matt and scenting is right and watches as Matt’s hands relax. “Because my family’s important to me,” Foggy answers. “You’re important to me, too. I want my important things to be in the same room. Just for a little bit.”
Radical honesty is….terrifying. But that’s what he’s going with. It’s Christmas and families are together on Christmas. If Matt laughs Foggy could probably play it off as a stupid hormonal omega thing. Maybe. Matt doesn’t know that much about omegas. Foggy would feel kind of douchey about it though. Maybe it won’t come to that.
“I can’t be your alpha,” Matt sighs. He sounds pained when he says it too. Like they haven’t had this talk on like, day one before Foggy even moved his stuff inside the apartment. “”I don’t want them to be confused.”
Ah. So this isn’t about Foggy not getting the lonely, outcast, unworthy alpha thing. It’s about Foggy’s family getting their hopes up. “You don’t have to be my alpha to be a part of my family, Matt. I’m never going to have a mate. I just can’t. I accepted a long time ago that I was going to have to build my own family some other way. Right now that new family is made up of me and you. I just want to show you off. I want my mom and dad and all other hundred and fifty Nelson members in the New York state area to know that I’m good and against all odds and all their fears I’m not alone out here. That and you kinda look like you could use a little family time.”
“I have no idea what that is.” Matt’s reply is bland but Foggy knows the truth when he sees it. There’s the tiniest smile curving around Matt’s lips.
Bingo.
Foggy calls his mom to tell her he’s bringing home a plus one for the weekend. He ignores the cheer that goes up in the background from the rest of the clan. “Just a roommate, Mom,” Foggy huffs. “And like my best friend. Like the first best friend I have ever had so please, please don’t screw this up by making it more than it is. You know that’s not going to happen.”
She doesn’t even stop cooing.
Mom. Capital M for mysteriously unable to process reality.
*****
“So, Matthew,” Foggy’s father has to be the worst conversation starter in history. “You’re Battlin Jack’s boy, aren’t you?”
Matt visibly flinches and Foggy leans over closer to his side in a silent show of support. He’s glaring at his whole family crowded around the dinner table as he does it. It’s not like Matt can see him. “Yes,” his roommate answers. “How did you know?”
“I had lunch with him a few times.” And that’s news to Foggy.
“When?” Foggy asks. He’s torn between excitement and suspicion. Where had he been when this was going on?
His dad smiles. It’s a sad one. Bitter sweet. Like the memory is a good one but still hurts to share. “When you were in the hospital, Foggy. Matthew was blinded in that accident the same time you were sick. I was there when they brought you in, Matthew. Your dad was a wreck. Hell, Foggy was so sick then we both thought we might lose our boys. We had lunch every day at the hospital. He called a few times to check on Foggy after you got out. We had talked about getting you boys together after Foggy got better. But then he…..well. It didn’t work out the way we had hoped.”
Matt lurches up and out of his chair. “Foggy,” He gasps out his hand grabbing onto Foggy’s arm where it sits on the table top like Matt can actually see. “I need some air. Can you help me?”
Foggy hops up determined to ignore the odd looks from his family. When a Nelson needs to cry they just throw down at the dinner table right between the mashed potatoes and the green beans. Murdock’s aren’t wired the same. He knows that but his family probably has no clue.
“I’ve got him, Son,” His dad offers. Well, offer is kind of a strong word. It’s more like an order.
“Dad…”
“Matthew,” His dad says quietly as he tugs Matt’s hand off of Foggy’s arm and tucks it into his elbow. “Let’s go finish our talk in private, okay? I have some other things I want to tell you.”
Foggy watches Matt being led away with an enormous amount of trepidation. He’s sliding back into his seat at the table feeling numb and a little lost. Maybe this was a bad idea.
“Foggy,” his grandmother questions from her seat across from him. “Where is that boy’s momma?”
“I don’t know.” It’s all Foggy can offer. “He never talks about her. Just said she was “around” one day when I asked.”
“What kind of omega abandons their child?” His mother blurts. No one in his family really has any verbal self-control. It’s hard when everyone is always trying to talk over top of each other. But there is no way Foggy is going to let that conversation happen after the whole thing with his dad. He opens his mouth to do something. Maybe even tell his mother to shut up.
“Madline,” his grandmother barks before he gets the chance. “Mind your business and pass the beans.”
If she throws Foggy a wink while she says it, well, no one else seems to notice.
Foggy finds Matt in his room later that night. The young alpha red faced and blotchy as he sits on Foggy’s childhood bed twisting the quilt in his hands. “I’m so sorry,” Foggy offers as he shuts the door. “I had no idea.”
“No.” Matt’s head shake is emphatic. “If I hadn’t come I would have never known. Your dad. He looked for me, Foggy. He tried to find me after my dad was gone. He said he’s always felt guilty that he couldn’t bring me home.”
And yeah, Foggy’s crying. How can you not?
“But you did.” Matt whispers as Foggy crosses the room and eases down beside his friend on the bed. “You found me, Foggy. You brought me home.”
There just aren’t words.
“Thank you,” Matt breathes out as his fingers ghost over to where Foggy’s have settled on the quilt.
That’s how they stay for a long time. Two friends holding hands in the dark of Foggy’s childhood bedroom.
Matt. Foggy thinks for the first time that night. Capital M for Made for me.
The next morning has Matt sitting at Foggy’s feet by the tree running his fingers over the package that Foggy’s mother has just dropped in front of him. “What it is?” Matt whispers to Foggy.
“Guess,” Foggy chuckles back. Foggy is still smiling when Matt picks up the brightly wrapped present and gives the box a little shuffle back and forth.
“A book?” Matt questions. Foggy blinks in silence as Matt unwraps it and discovers a braille edition of Edgar Allen Poe’s collected works. “Thank you,” Matt sounds so touched as he traces his fingers over the words. “I haven’t gotten a Christmas gift since….for a long time.”
“Try mine!” Foggy’s nephew, just turning six asks as he thrusts another wrapped package into Matt’s arms. “What is it?”
Another shake. “A CD or a DVD.”
And again. “This one’s a board game.”
And again. “Socks.” It’s technically socks and underwear but hell, he’s pretty close.
Foggy is impressed. His mother ecstatic. And Matt…..Matt looks content and comfortable so much so Foggy doesn’t even think about reaching out and running his fingers through the alpha’s hair. Matt tips his head back against Foggy’s knees and smiles a million watt smile.
It’s a very good day.
*****
Frat parties aren’t really their thing. Foggy should have known better than to let them get dragged into attending one. Matt’s not much on large crowd gatherings and Foggy’s aware enough of how his medical issues make him the target of some uncomfortable attention on occasion.
Like when a group of three drunken alphas from their social justice class decide Foggy hasn’t had a heat because he “Just ain’t met the right one for him yet.”
Matt looks ready to explode. He’s a lightweight when he’s drinking anyway and two beers and a mixed drink later Matt’s normally agreeable personality looks like it's having a hard time with the fact that this asshole has Foggy backed into the corner.
Foggy’s not too happy about the situation himself. But calmer, more rational minds will prevail. Foggy’s the DD or rather the DW. Someone has to be sober enough to walk him and Matt back home. He tells the guy to back off. Then growls it a little more forcefully. Then the douchebag licks his way up the side of Foggy’s neck, right across his bonding gland.
That’s it. Foggy might be an omega and a pacifist in general but that doesn’t mean he can’t protect himself. His family had insisted on self-defense training before they let him move out on his own. Foggy twists the guys arm so hard it breaks. Then he knee kicks him to the head because there is no way Foggy wants this guy getting back up for a while. The two friends move toward him with matching snarls before Matt just bashes one guy into unconsciousness with a liquor bottle and then launches himself at the other.
For a brief moment it’s like a horrible rendition of that movie A Christmas Carol where Ralphie finally loses it against the kid who's been bullying him for so long. But Foggy’s afraid Matt’s not going to stop. It takes a few tries to pull the Alpha off the other boy. Matt finally stops swinging when Foggy grabs both his arms and wraps him up in a bear hug.
Matt’s heart is pounding so hard Foggy can feel it. The alpha hyperventilating and shaking all over. It doesn’t seem to matter what Foggy does Matt just keeps muttering “Foggy, Foggy. Foggy.”
Then the campus police come. Foggy’s mother had always told him he had a way with words. She used to listen to him dart around the truth when he was in trouble and then sigh dramatically and tell him he should be a lawyer when grew up. It’s part of what made Foggy think of going into law in the first place. He’s just always had a way with people.
It takes every bit of his gift of the gab to keep Matt from getting arrested that night. Foggy spends the next hour fielding questions about his orientation, his level of intoxication, what he was wearing, why he would come to the party as an unbonded omega in the first place much less sit down in a room full of four alphas. He grinds his teeth and clenches his fists and keeps Matt’s face in the corner of his eye while he commits to memory the name and badge number of both the officers. The two alphas that Matt beat to hell go the hospital for observation. They refuse to press charges.
Foggy’s not so kind. All he wants in his life right now is to go back to his tiny apartment with Matt and wash the drool off his neck. He feels exposed, violated, and angry. The urge to cry creeping up his throat and making it hard to focus. But he follows Matt into the hospital and lets them take evidence. Then he lets the officers drive them home and the one highlight of this whole fucked up night is when one of them turns to him as he opens to door to get out of the car and says “That should never have happened. You two make a hell of a team with what you did to those boys.”
“Yes we do,” Matt answers and then all Foggy has to think about is Matt’s hand wrapped around his elbow and his warmth against his side as they finally head home.
Foggy spends an hour in the shower. He tries his soap and shampoo and scrubs his neck until it’s pink and raw. Nothing feels right and he’s can tell he’s gearing up for a real break down, frustrated, needing comfort, and not knowing what kind his stupid biology is seeking.
“Try using mine,” Matt offers. Foggy’s not sure when his friend came into the bathroom, doesn’t care even though it’s odd even for them. But he sees Matt’s fingertips pass by the shower curtain to nudge Matt’s body wash toward him and Foggy thinks what the hell does he have to lose.
It’s just soap.
And one of Matt’s towels.
And Matt’s super extra wonderful soft bathrobe.
Foggy finally hits the bed right around dawn thinking that sleep will be a long time in coming and expecting bad dreams. When he wakes up in the morning he’s wrapped in a blanket from Matt’s room and remembers dreaming about being wrapped up in Matt’s arms.
He’s in a pretty good head space, all things considered when he walks into the kitchen and heads for the orange juice. Matt comes stumbling in their front door a half hour later looking even more beat up than he did the night before and Foggy raises an eyebrow. But Matt’s got donuts from the bakery around the corner and Foggy loves those donuts. He’s going to let it go. This is a fantastic morning so far. He’s not going to ruin it. He deserves awesome donuts.
Then Matt says “I called your mother.”
Matt. Capital M for Meddling Mother Fucker.
*****
“Okay,” Foggy admits as he takes his temperature for a fourth time today. “I’m worried. This is the third time I’ve had this flu crap and you never seem to get it. Why am I always the designated victim?”
“I had food poisoning once,” Matt offers from where he’s stirring Foggy some homemade soup in the kitchen. His mom had brought it over from his grandmother this past weekend.
“That doesn’t count,” Foggy grumbles as he stuffs himself further under the blankets on his end of their couch with a huff. “And I told you not to eat food that looked like that.”
Matt snorts. “How was I supposed to know what it looked like, Foggy?”
“Psychic,” Foggy mumbles. But he takes the soup with a weak smile when Matt holds it out to him. “Maybe I should go to the doctor this time.”
“I can go with you to the health center if you want,” Matt offers. Foggy wonders sometimes about why Matt seems so resistant to Foggy going places by himself when he’s sick like this. It’s just kind of weird.
“Maybe later,” Foggy sighs. Getting up and getting dressed at this point seems exhausting. He’s been sick for two days already if it’s like last time he’ll feel better starting tomorrow.
“Goonies?” Matt suggests as he settles on the couch.
“Duh,” Foggy snorts. “Is that even a question that needs to exist?”
Matt smiles and Foggy feels something ease in his chest. “Can I?” He asks waving in Matt’s general direction like his friend can see the movement. He knows Matt can’t….except sometimes Maybe….
“All yours,” Matt answers before slouching back into the couch and opening his arms. Foggy slides over to get closer, pressing himself into Matt’s warmth and picking up the slightest traces of a scent from Matt that isn’t normally there.
Foggy knows the cuddling is weird. But he’s always been tactile and Matt smells so good when he’s sick. Like the ocean after it rains. He’ll take the being sick for the cuddles.
But next time, Foggy tells himself. Next time he’s going to the doctor the second he notices a problem.
*****
“Are you getting enough exercise?”
“Mom!” Foggy snaps. “Seriously? I’m a college student with a part time campus job. I have no car and my roommate is a blind exercise nut. What do you think?”
“I think you should watch your tone,” his mother sing songs back.
“Jesus,” Foggy mutters.
“Foggy.” Matt’s tone is grumpy. Maybe from the blasphemy, maybe from the topic, or the lack of air conditioner, or because Matt is Matt sometimes.
“Sorry,” Foggy murmurs back.
“Thank you for the apology.” His mother announces.
Matt busts out laughing. Foggy’s dying inside. He wasn’t even talking to her. Why is his family so….his family?
“When are you getting the car fixed?” Foggy asks, hoping to change the topic of conversation off of him and onto something safer.
“The car is fixed, honey,” His mom replies as they turn down what feels like the 98th dirt road out to the middle of nowhere.
“The air conditioner doesn’t work,” Foggy points out grumpily.
“No shit,” his mother replies blandly. “I hadn’t noticed.”
Matt busts out into laughter again from the backseat and Foggy has to actively resist growling at him. “I love family vacations.”
“This is your first vacation,” Foggy points out.
“I know,” Matt chuckles. “But so far I’m having a great time.”
Foggy wants to be mad. He really does. But the adorkable smile on the alpha’s face is too open, too happy. He finds himself chuckling along instead.
The Nelson family campground is really….well okay, it’s half falling down shack in the middle of the mosquito infested woods next to a lake that probably has some kind of mutant, cow eating alligator living in it.
Foggy has always loved it.
Grandma gets the house. Those are the rules. Everyone else partners up in tents across the cleared area of the lawn for a week of family fun. Foggy is slightly surprised that they roomed him in a tent with just Matt.
Usually the unbonded alphas and omegas room with their own peeps.
“We live together at school,” Matt offers as they are unrolling their sleeping bags.
“Not in the same room though,” Foggy replies but then shrugs because it’s not a problem. Foggy and Matt are FoggyandMatt. They just are. Maybe his family is starting to accept that Foggy isn’t ever going to have a bondmate. He’s surprised to know he’s disappointed by that idea.
It actually kind of hurts.
Foggy thought he had gotten over the loss of that a long time ago. Hell, he’s had enough therapy with the cancer and then the aftercare from not being able to bond. He even went back for a while after that asshole licked him just to make sure he had his head on straight. Why would he be feeling so lonely now?
He has Matt.
It’s not until the next day he that he can really put a finger on it. They’re in the lake swimming with some of the cousins when Lisa, one of his second aunt’s kids who is a little younger than he is, says, “Foggy. Look. I know you can’t actually hit that fine alpha you keep bringing to the family get togethers. So I was wondering if you might maybe give someone who actually has a chance of sealing the deal the option?”
“Lisa!” Francine snaps. She’s the older sister. Of the two Foggy has always liked Francine more. “Watch your mouth.”
“Why?” Lisa asks with a flip of her wet hair that splashes Foggy right in the eyes. “It’s not like Foggy cares. He knows the deal. Matt’s his roommate. That’s all.”
She’s not even wrong. Foggy does know the deal. He bites his lip and tries not to watch as Lisa flaunts off in her bikini to wear Matt is sitting on the dock letting his feet trail in the water. It’s a useless display of her physique considering Matt’s lack of vision. But then, Matt always seems to be able to pick out the hot ones.
Foggy’s never been able to figure that part out.
He’s not going to watch this.
Foggy spends the rest of the day, lunch and dinner included, at his grandmother’s side. When the sun is setting she finally stops telling his stories about his grandfather and huffs “Boy, what is your issue? All these kids here. Your boy here with you. And you’re so far up my behind I can taste your misery.”
“He’s not my boy!” Foggy blurts out partly because he just can’t deal with the visual from the rest of that sentence. But he’s crying and feeling stupid and doesn’t even put up a fight when his grandmother tugs him into her embrace and rocks him like she did when he was little and scared and sick.
“He’s as much your boy as you are his,” She murmurs into his hair. “You two have something special. Don’t let whatever you got in your head mess that up.”
“It never mattered before,” Foggy whispers as he wipes his eyes. “I was just so happy to be healthy and alive. I never thought it would mean anything to me and now I can’t stop thinking about it.”
She laughs. This loud guttural laugh that Foggy has always loved. “Franklin Nelson,” And oh, this must be good because she’s using his full name. “When I had my first baby the doctor told me that was all she wrote. Said I had damaged something up inside me and I was barren. I cried for what felt like a year. Your poor grandfather drove himself round the bend trying to fix it. Nothing worked.”
“Okay…. not really uplifting Grandma.”
She shoves him. He can’t help but smile. “My point, Mouthy. Is that I had six more children after that. Life will find a way. You don’t know everything. Doctors don’t know everything. I even don’t know everything. But I know this. Sometimes you just have be open to possibilities and there they will come. But remember, possibilities don’t come without work or consequences, Foggy. Nothing in your life has been given to you on a platter but that pretty alpha out there who dotes on you hand over foot. Enjoy what you have and keep your eyes out for what might make it more. But don’t rush your life, Foggy. You only get one and you should enjoy every second you can. Be grateful.”
He is. Honestly, every day he’s grateful just to be here. Even more so he’s grateful for Matt.
Except today. Matt’s probably had a great day snuggled up with Lisa.
“Get out, Boy,” His grandmother orders. “This old lady needs her beauty rest.”
Foggy has nowhere else to go. So he heads back to the tent he shares. It’s a surprise to find Matt already prone on his sleeping bag. “I thought you’d be out,” Foggy can’t help but comment. Then he rolls his eyes because, seriously? Don’t ask questions you don’t want answered.
“Foggy,” Matt sighs. “I don’t know how to say this nicely so please don’t be mad. But your cousin is obnoxious. She’s loud and has an opinion about everything. She touches me all the time and you know I hate that. She asked me how I thought she looked in her swimsuit, Foggy. I thought it was a really bad joke. It wasn’t. And…”
Foggy’s already laughing. Matt sounds like he’s dying. Like he’s had the most miserable experience of his life. “And?”
“She smells bad,” Matt announces and Foggy swear he can hear his father laughing two tents over. “I mean, I’m sure most people would like her. But I don’t and it’s weird and please don't wander off and leave me alone like that again. I’d rather just spend my time with you.”
“No problem!” Foggy states emphatically.
“Seriously?” Matt questions and Foggy wonders for a minute if Matt had thought maybe he had done something wrong.
“Seriously. We’re good.” He settles down on his own sleeping bag and takes a breath to tease Matt a little more when he hears his dad say “Now that you have that worked out boys I expect you to sleep.”
Matt’s horrified inhale sets Foggy off into another round of laughter.
Matt. Capital M for Mortified about the thin walls of tents.
*****
Heats.
Foggy’s been sick off and on for over two years. He’s thought the cancer had come back or something else terrible was happening. But, no. Heats.
Sympathetic heats, maybe. But still. All this time he’s been sure. They told him over and over it would never happen.
And now….
Foggy’s been sitting on the bench in the park outside of his doctor’s office for an hour staring into space. Rearranging your world view is a hard one. Especially when the changes open up a whole new world of possibility.
Possibilities that are Matt shaped.
He’s never let himself think about it before. Not the whole picture of what he and Matt might be able to be if everything inside him would just work right. Just once. That’s all it would take.
The idea of belonging to someone, to Matt, is foreign and intoxicating in all kinds of ways. It’s something Foggy turns over in his head for the first two days of his...heat. Curled up in his bed finally finding relief from the nausea that seems to follow him everywhere when he’s like this. Foggy swears he can smell Matt nearby which is so stupid because Matt doesn’t even really have a scent except for when Foggy is like this.
So for once, instead of telling himself he’s stupid or imagining it Foggy buries his face in the sheets on his bed and lets his mind wander to the soft skin across Matt’s neck and the way Foggy imagines the alpha’s chest hair would feel. Matt scenting him up close along his bonding gland while Foggy gasps air and claws his clothing off. The images are so strong they drive Foggy to a sweating, panting mess on his bed. He gets to his knees, rubbing his cheek on this perfect spot on the sheets while reaches between his legs and strokes himself. It takes him minute to understand what he’s doing. Foggy’s an omega, sure, but it’s way easier to jerk off lying down.
He’s presenting. His head low and his ass high in the air for the imaginary Matt in his head who Foggy makes Foggy groan as he thinks about the alpha behind him, running his strong hands up and down Foggy's back before slipping into the crease of his ass and rubbing over his hole. And Foggy has to do it, all of a sudden.
He’s never bothered to stimulate himself there. Even though it’s where people say the epicenter of omega pleasure is. Foggy doesn’t get wet, has never ached in the middle of a heat to be filled. It’s always seemed like a painful reminder of what he lost, what he wasn’t going to have. But Maybe.
He whimpers at the first touch of his fingers imagining Matt doing this for him. Foggy lacks the slick he needs to get inside and stuffs his fingers into his own mouth thinking about Matt’s voice telling him how good he is, how much Matt wants him, before sliding his finger back around and pushing his index finger into himself. Foggy bites the sheets because it’s so sensitive. So much better than he thought and he’s groaning, rocking the bed while his hips jerk in time to his fingers and his hand and then he’s coming all over the sheets thinking about Matt talking to him about how good he’s going to feel inside.
He didn’t even make it to the part of the fantasy where Matt fucks him.
Jesus.
He’s got to change the sheets. He’s a mess.
It’s a long time later when Foggy finally gets feeling back in all his extremities that he notices why his bed smells like Matt. There’s a shirt under his bottom sheet. Matt’s shirt.
Matt. Capital M for makes Foggy Misty eyed.
It’s months before his next heat and the waiting kills him. The second Foggy feels the first cramp he drags Matt to his doctor with him and sits through the same spiel he sat through last time but now with Matt at his side. Foggy can’t just ask him. Matt’s never been anything but rigid about his inability to be a good alpha but maybe if he knows there is a dependable omega he can depend on he will change his mind and want to mate.
Foggy’s not even going to consider how ashamed he is of himself for thinking that. His whole life built on being more than his biology and the hint of a chance that he can have a heat and he’s a gushing teenager.
It doesn’t matter anyway.
Matt’s not interested.
He’s the opposite of interested. He’s upset. Agitated. Tense. For the first time Foggy finds himself on the other side of his friend. Matt’s lengthening list of too quick relationships is spreading out before Foggy’s eyes.
Erin, Melissa, that Greek girl whose name Foggy can’t even remember, Trisha, Simone, Amy, Margaret, Teresa, Alice, Melani,Gwen, etc. They’ve all made brief appearances in Matt’s love life. Foggy’s heard all the whispers about why they didn’t last.
Too distant, removed, closed up tighter than a clam, frigid, probably gay, freak. Just not into me.
Just not into Foggy.
And ok. He can deal with this. Foggy’s been no slouch in the dating department either. He’s got his own list of ex’s that are sure he can’t commit to them because he’s been lusting after his roommate. Maybe they’ve been right. But that doesn’t matter now. Foggy has a clarity he’s been lacking before. He and Matt will always be close. They’ll always be friends.
But Foggy has a chance to do something more now. He might be able to find a mate. And he thinks for a long time in the dark of his room that maybe this is one of those life happens things his grandmother told him about.
He loves Matt. Could fall in love with Matt if Matt would just let him. But that’s not going to happen and Foggy just has to accept that. He spends the next few weeks scoping out his options and finds Marci.
Marci. Capital M for Mesmerizing.
*****
They’re great together. Marci is sharp and funny. She’s secure in her status as an alpha and there’s a part of Foggy that he’s so used to keeping under wraps that just blossoms around her. She’s clear and direct. Open with her expectations and emotions. She has boundaries and isn’t afraid to challenge Foggy on his. He feels secure. His world is understandable and easy. He knows what his role is and for a while Foggy revels in just being a typical omega.
It feels good.
Matt hates her. Frankly, Foggy thinks Matt hates Foggy just for not hating her too. He’s distant and cold. Six months into his relationships with Marci Foggy is thinking of moving out of the apartment with Matt. Moving in with Marci and seeing where his next pseudo heat takes him. He could mate with Marci. It would be easy.
Safe. Comfortable.
Boring.
Not Matt.
But Matt doesn’t want him. Not like this. Not at all really anymore.
And Marci. Hell, Marci is explicit in what she wants. She lays it out in ridiculous detail what she plans to do to Foggy when his heat hits. And she doesn’t mind waiting. It’s not like they aren’t having sex. They’re having a ton of sex. Anyway she wants it and fuck, it’s amazing. Foggy’s looking forward to being penetrated, being knotted and filled. He wakes up aching and hard a couple times a week from dreaming about.
Half the time it’s still Matt doing it. But half the time is better than all the time. Right?
Then the first of the cramps start and fuck it, Foggy’s not missing this chance. He goes straight to her place eager and excited. Until she opens the door.
Everything is just wrong. She doesn’t smell right. The apartment doesn’t feel secure. Foggy can’t relax and this is just not where he’s supposed to be. “Foggybear,” Marci smiles so sadly. “This has been fun. But what little smell you have is gross and you need to go home to your alpha and let him take care of you.”
“He’s not,” Foggy manages to get out through gritted teeth.
“You’re stupid,” Marci interrupts before pressing a quick kiss to his forehead. “Go home. Call me when this is over and we’ll get ice cream and be friends. You’re so good, Foggy. Take care of yourself.”
The walk home is miserable. Matt’s not even there when Foggy gets in.
He feels terrible for puking on Matt’s gym bag. But even sick and upset Foggy doesn’t miss the swelling on Matt’s knuckles. The alpha’s been boxing again. He also doesn’t miss the giddy bark of laughter that comes out of Matt’s mouth when he shoves Marci’s sweater down the garbage shoot. Foggy will have to replace that thing later but it’s worth it. Marci’s right. He’s stupid. So is Matt. Maybe for different reasons.
But they’re going to be stupid together in whatever way they can.
Foggy gets cleaned up and slides into bed under Matt’s fluffy blanket. Matt insists, you know, just in case he gets cold. He drifts off listening to Matt hum happily to himself while he cleans up Foggy’s puke. Maybe this will all be okay after all.
Matt. Capital M for Maybe.
*****
Matthew Michael Murdock. Capital M for Moronic, Maniac, Mad, Mad, Mad.
Matt is a liar. A big, fat, fucking liar.
He never trusted Foggy. Never loved Foggy. Never wanted Foggy.
His whole life is a giant steaming pile of shit. Foggy hopes he bleeds to death on the fucking couch alone.
Oh no. Not that. That’s terrible. Never that. He doesn’t mean it.
Just hurts, hurts, hurts.
He can’t go home. Foggy’s not sure he even has a home with Matt now. He can’t go to his parents. His family won’t understand. They’ll pry, they’ll dig and question and Foggy can’t tell them. He’s angry and sad and maybe he lost everything. But he’s not the bad friend in this relationship. He’ll protect Matt. Even if he doesn’t deserve it. He calls Marci. She doesn’t ask any questions when she sees the look on his face. He spends the next three nights in her bed crying while she pets his hair and holds him.
On the fourth morning she says “Get up Foggybear. You’re gross. Shower, eat something, for the love all things brush your teeth. Then get the rest of your shit together and fix this.”
“You have no soul,” Foggy groans rolling over and crushing the pillow to his face.
“If I had no soul I would have already called Matt and had him come and collect you.”
“He wouldn’t come,” Foggy’s sure of that.
“The fuck, Foggy.” Marci’s up and headed to the bathroom. “I’m going to work. When I get back you better have pulled yourself together enough to be an actual human being or I am going to call him and I’m going to make you deal with your shit so you can get out of my bed and my apartment so I can get laid. You’re dream killer right now.”
He hears the shower turn on sit up looking at himself in the mirror over her dresser and sighing at his puffy eyes and swollen face. He’s got decisions to make, hard ones. Sitting here wallowing isn’t going to make them any easier.
It takes him a week to admit that he wants to make it work with Matt. It takes him another three days to own up to the fact that he kind of understands why Matt would have hidden this in the first place. Two days after that Foggy’s thinking about all the shit he hid from Matt. His feelings, his dreams for the future, his hopes. Maybe they’re both liars. Maybe they can be something better than that if they can just work their way through this.
Then his phone rings. “Hey Grandma, What’s up?”
“Boy,” her tone is exasperated and Foggy has no idea why. “What have you done?”
“What?” clueless.
“What have you done with your alpha?” His grandmother answers sounding stern and disappointed.
“Okay,” Foggy takes a deep breath. “That comment has clarified exactly nothing for me.”
“Your father had to drive me around town for a doctor’s appointment. We were going to surprise you for lunch. Stopped by your apartment. That poor boy answered the door and just broke down. Sobbing like a baby who lost his mama all over your daddy. In the other room right now blabbering on about how it’s all his fault and how much he loves you. Keeps saying he’s sorry and he’s a bad alpha and a worse person and he deserves to be alone. What happened here Franklin? I never thought anything would get in the way of you boys.”
He sighs. “A lot happened, Grandma.”
“Well fix it,” she orders.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Of course it is,” she argues. “You know what you want. You always have. Just come and collect it. Whatever happened can’t mean more than all these years between you two.”
“Matt…” and it’s so tempting to finish that sentence with the truth but the words die a quick death in his throat.
“He thinks you’ve abandoned him, Foggy,” She says softly. “Like his mother. Like his father. He only has you. And us. But he doesn’t understand that yet. Are you done with him?”
“No!” He’s not. Never done.
“Then make it right.”
“It’s his fault,” Foggy manages to squeeze out as his chest tightens.
“We didn’t raise you to be petty, Boy. You faced down cancer and then you faced down never being like all your friends. You held your head up and you made your own life. You made him huge part of it. You gave that boy your heart. We don’t just give up on the people we love when they hurt us. You get strong and you face whatever it is together.”
“Matt doesn’t want me,” Foggy swears he’s been over this with her a dozen times. “He’s not interested in me like that.”
“Matt is an idiot.” His grandmother announces with this sense of finality that Foggy frankly can’t argue with right now. He is kind of an idiot. “He can’t see what he can have past what he’s been told he isn’t worth. Sometimes you have to be direct, Foggy. I didn’t get your grandfather by sitting around looking pretty like all the other omegas. I knocked him on his ass and told him how it was going to be. You’re going to have to do the same with this one. He’s a mess.”
Foggy smiles into the phone. He knows his grandmother can’t see it but it doesn’t matter. He feels good for the first time in a week and a half. “I need a few days.”
“So does he,” She sighs. “Let me get this boy cleaned up. He looks like the devil got ahold of him.”
She hangs up without a goodbye. Foggy doesn’t really even notice. Matt’s in good hands and he’s got some thinking to do.
Matt. Capital M for hot Mess.
*****
If Foggy could have a baby he would have one for Claire and Karen. It’s the first night of peace he and Matt have had since he stopped the suppressants all thanks to them and the hormone patches. Matt’s a lump beside him on the couch with his head in Foggy’s lap. Foggy gently scratching the top of his head while Matt’s breathing evens out. He’s almost asleep.
Foggy can’t stand it anymore.
“How badly did you hurt them?” He can’t stop himself from asking.
Matt’s body jerks back into the horrible tension he’s been carrying for days. “Who?”
“The three guys at that frat party.” It matters. It’s been so long but Foggy has to know. “What did you do to them? The next morning you looked like hell.”
“I made them go away,” Matt answers but his tone is guarded, Foggy’s starting to understand that means he’s afraid.
“Like in a body bag?” Foggy asks hoping to lighten the mood. That night has always been a touchy subject for them.
“I wanted to,” Matt admits and then swallows and presses closer like he was expecting Foggy to scream and run away. “But no. I threatened them. Hit them a lot and told them to leave.”
“College?”
There’s a beat of silence before Matt whispers “The state.”
They’re both going to hell for it. Foggy knows. But he snorts with laughter and then lets out a high pitched giggle that sets Matt off. They hold each other and laugh about the mess of crap they have to figure out between the two of them. But it’s ok. It’s all going to be okay. He just knows it.
They keep working at it. Conversations become less difficult and trusting each other more normal. They move forward from that moment when Foggy thought it was all over between them and rewrite their history together with both of them being honest about what they experienced.
“Marci scared me,” Matt whispers one morning when they are lounging in bed. “You had never been with another alpha before. I was looking for apartments.”
“I thought you didn’t want me,” Foggy admits as he tucks closer to Matt’s side.
“They told me I wasn’t good enough,” Matt answers. “They were wrong.”
It’s the first time he’s ever said that out loud. Foggy smiles. “Hell, yeah, they were.”
Kissing Matt will never be chore. Never.
*****
Matt. Capital M for More.
The lead up to his rut is amazing. Matt, usually so controlled, gasping and sweating while Foggy leans over his bare body and licks, sucks, and nips every inch of skin his can find. Matt’s been begging since Foggy started. He’s come once already just at the brush of Foggy’s hair across his dick. He’s hard again and whimpering as Foggy bites his way over the scars on his chest. Foggy’s not sure what he expected. The only other alpha he’s ever been with was so specific and controlled about everything he had always felt like a passenger. Well taken care of but not responsible for driving.
Matt’s a whole different animal. He’s more than willing to let Foggy drive the pace, enjoys being held down and driven out of his mind. If Foggy’s sucking him off Matt will stroke his hair and whisper how good Foggy is, how wonderful it feels. But if Foggy growls he knows Matt will grab his hair and fuck his face murmuring to him filthy, nasty things as he comes. Matt will push him down onto the bed and ride him while he jerks his cock off all over Foggy’s stomach. Then he’ll rub his come into Foggy’s skin and ramble “Foggy, Foggy, Foggy, mine.” Until Foggy flips them over and pounds into him until he comes too. Matt will bear his neck any chance he gets and Foggy can never resist in biting down, Making that mark blossom over and over again until he’s pretty sure they’ve broken the skin on Matt’s neck enough times that he will have what looks like and omega mating scar for the rest of his life.
He catches Matt rubbing his fingertips over it and smiling when he thinks Foggy isn’t paying attention or when he stressed about a case. It’s not helpful. Every single time he does it Foggy wants to toss him over the desk and have him again.
Adding sex to his relationship with Matt was really the best. Idea. EVER.
*****
By the time Foggy actually hits Stick with the bat he’s so full of righteous indignation that he almost doesn’t notice the way his pants feel.
Wet.
Not like out of the shower wet either.
The cramps are horrible but he forgets all about it when Matt looks him in the eye for the very first time.
Well, ok. Not actually in the eye. It’s more like an inch to the left. But Foggy’s never been really clear of where Matt’s senses form from so he guesses an inch to the left of the actual eye ball might be eye to eye from Matt’s perspective. In any case, he’s not complaining.
Ok. That’s not true either.
He’s complaining before Stick is settled in on the roof. He’s complaining the second Matt starts tugging their clothing off. He’s complaining all the way through Matt trying to scent him, trying to sliding his fingers into Foggy’s slicked up entrance. He complains through the cramps and the kissing all the way until Matt flips him over on his front and tugs at Foggy’s hips.
This. Yes. Hell, yes. This he can on board with.
Foggy buries his face in the bedding and presents for his alpha. There’s a surge of pride in hearing Matt’s whimper. Not a big enough surge of pride to keep him from bitching, but still.
“Get on with it,” Foggy wiggles his ass to make his point. “I’ve waited a lifetime for this.”
“Like I haven’t?” Matt asks. He sounds irritated but he’s moving so Foggy doesn’t care. Then he’s there, sliding inside.
And Foggy finally understands why people never shut up about this.
“Fuck.”
He guesses Matt does too.
There’s no more talking after that. Matt just grabs him, and pounds into him exactly how Foggy wants it. He’s on the verge of screaming when Matt knots him the first time. He bends over Foggy and bites into his bonding gland. It takes a long time for Foggy to come back from that.
Matt. Capital M for Mine.
*****
When the call comes Matt is out on patrol. Foggy knows he doesn't have to try to reach his mate. Matt can feel his distress through their bond and before Foggy is even off the phone with his mother Matt is calling in.
“What’s wrong?” Matt’s voice so tight. So scared.
“It’s Gram,” Foggy’s a mess. “They have her at Roosevelt. Matty, they say it’s time.”
It can’t be time. He’s not ready. They haven’t had time to tell her how right she was. She hasn’t even seen them since the bond.
“I’m coming home to get you.” Matt’s voice is final.
“If you’re closer to her then go to the hospital instead,” Foggy counters.
“Foggy,” Matt’s clearly struggling. His anxiety rolls across their link. “I only have my suit.”
“I’ll call Claire on my way,” Foggy replies as he grabs his bag and heads for the door. “Please, Matty. If I don’t make it….one of us should be there.”
“I’m going to make it,” Matt’s voice leaves no room for question. “I love you.”
Then he’s gone and Foggy is flagging down a cab and crying and making sure Matt has something to put on at the hospital.
It takes him forever to get to the room. He rounds the corner to find what looks like half his family piled up in the hallway. They make room for him, solemn and loving as he goes by. Matt’s sitting right at the edge of the bed. He’s wearing scrubs. The relief he experiences when he realizes Foggy is in the room spreads between them in a warm pulse of comfort. Whatever the next few minutes brings they will do it together.
“Not nice to keep an old lady waiting, Franklin.” He smiles but she sounds so tired. “I’ve got things to do before I go.”
She holds out her hand and Foggy takes his place on the other side of the bed from Matt. She tugs them both closer and links their hands. Then reaches up and touches the bite marks on both their necks.
Honestly, it’s rude as hell. Nobody does that.
“Seriously?” Matt blurts and then winces as she pinches him for good measure.
“I had to be sure,” She grumbles. “Took you boys enough time.”
They laugh. Then, inexplicably, Matt starts to sob.
“Enough of that,” she says as she tugs them both down and wraps her arms around them both. “Don’t listen to mine. Listen to his.”
Foggy can feel Matt nodding as he reaches out to cling to Foggy’s jacket with one arm while the other clings to Foggy’s Grandmother.
“Good boy,” she whispers when Matt relaxes. “Always focus on life, Matthew. That’s the part that matters. Death is just a tiny part of that.”
It only takes a few more moments. Then she’s gone.
*****
“I can’t believe she left us the cabin,” Matt says for the third time.
“Who were you planning on her leaving it to,” Foggy chuckles, “Lisa?”
“Oh God,” Matt moans. But Foggy can feel his humor over the link. “Stop talking about Lisa!”
They laugh. It’s been a rough few months but they’ve made it through. On their way back from the Annual Nelson Family Camping Trip slightly sunburnt and relaxed.
“My mother wants to know when we plan to have a formal bonding ceremony.” Foggy chuckles. They’ve been over this and both agree the answer is never.
“Can we pay off your dad to keep her occupied until your sister mates with that kid from down the block?” Matt asks.
“That could take years,” Foggy laughs. “I’m not sure we have enough money to keep dad going for that long.”
“It was worth a shot,” Matt shrugs, then abruptly stops walking in the middle of the sidewalk a half a block from their apartment.
He feels….shocked.
“What is it?” Foggy asks.
“Stick,” Matt blurts as he starts walking. Faster than before. “In our apartment. He’s not alone.”
They run up the stairs and throw open the door. Stick’s clearly heard them coming because he’s standing facing the entrance.
“What is it?” Matt barks as Foggy shuts the door behind them. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Stick shrugs before stepping forward and stuffing a bundle into Foggy’s arms. “I got you kids a wedding present.”
“You have to be kidding,” Matt argues as Foggy struggles to put his stuff down balancing the lump of blankets.
“Do I joke, Kid?” Stick replies. “I got a problem.” The older alpha shrugs. “You got a solution.”
Like it’s simple.
Like it’s easy.
It’s not.
Foggy tugs back the blanket and sure enough….
It’s a baby.
“No.” Matt states firmly. “Just. No.”
But Foggy feels the tingle of excitement over their bond and smiles.
Matt. Capital M for Maybe a little Maternal.