Chapter Text
Kicking your shoes off absentmindedly, you came into the apartment and dropped your keys on the table. Fighting back an avalanche of tears, you sat down on the couch and curled your knees under your chin. Why did that jerk of an ex-boyfriend have to call you? You'd had a messy breakup six months ago when he revealed he'd been cheating on you with his "much hotter" (his words) coworker. They'd been hooking up for years behind your back.
After you’d freaked out on him, yelling and crying, he'd kicked you out. You'd called the only people you trusted, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes.
~
You'd met the super soldiers through your friend, Sam Wilson. You spent some weekends volunteering at the VA with him and when those two gorgeous guys visited, Sam noticed how much you were blushing and introduced you. Steve was just as sweet and kind as you'd always heard, and Bucky was...well, Bucky. He looked like he could kill you, but was actually a huge flirt who was hands-on with everyone and no one seemed to mind, Steve least of all. They were tons of fun to be around and seemed to take to you immediately, probably due to Sam.
When you'd all four gone out to dinner that night, Bucky sat next to you and told you all kinds of stories about him, Steve, Sam and the rest of the Avengers. Sam lived in the opposite direction of your boyfriend’s place, so when you parted ways, Steve and Bucky insisted on walking you home. You guessed that 1940’s chivalry had still held on and you didn’t mind.
They asked about your boyfriend, and you answered with as little information as possible. Steve touched a bruise on your shoulder and you winced. Looking at each other knowingly, they didn't ask further. They did, however, take your phone and put their numbers in, making you promise to call if you needed anything. Steve had hugged you, which was everything you'd want from a super soldier hug: warm and solid and very, very safe. He'd whispered while hugging you, "Don't let him hurt you anymore. Please. Call me if he does." His voice turned serious at the last words and you'd nodded in agreement. Bucky had thrown an arm around your shoulder and pecked you on the cheek, leaning in to whisper in a deadly tone, "Say the word, and I will take care of it."You'd managed a smile and thanked them, heading inside for the night, happy to have made some friends. With the cold-shoulder your boyfriend had been giving you for awhile now, it was nice to hang out with some people who didn’t act like you were bothering them.
A few months later, you'd found out about your boyfriend's long affair. When you'd gotten upset, he'd slapped you across the face. You reeled and fell, banging your knee hard on the coffee table. When you tried to get up, he kicked you in the ribs and laughed when you struggled to get up. He made it clear that he never really loved you. He never cared. He was only with you because he felt sorry for you and needed a cover for sleeping with his secretary. You hurriedly packed a small bag and left, with him yelling at you how ugly and unlovable and unimportant you were.
It was late, after midnight, and you didn't have anywhere to go. You stood on the sidewalk a few blocks away sobbing and just beyond done with your whole situation. The tears on your cheek felt hot and searing against the bruise that would obviously form there. Then it dawned on you; you could call them. Hesitating because of the late hour, you tried to think through your actions. But you had nothing in the world. The thought of wandering the streets alone, crying and broken, or worse, trying to talk to the police had you calling Steve in a heartbeat.
He sounded fairly awake when he answered and after hearing you crying on the other end, sprung into action and yelled for Bucky. You got out, "We b-broke up. I don’t know what to d-do." Steve asked where you were, and then Bucky got on, trying to calm you down while they headed your way. "Bucky," you tried to explain but your breath kept hitching. Detecting your scared tone, he asked sternly, " What did he do?" "H-he hit me again." You whispered the last part as if your ex could hear you. The other side of the line went eerily silent. You sniffed and he said curtly, "Don't move from where you are. We’ll be there in a second."
Bucky grabbed your few belongings and tossed them into the car while Steve checked you over carefully. He gingerly touched the bruise forming on your cheek and you flinched. An expression that was a mixture of anger and sympathy crossed his face and he asked where else you’d been hurt. You pointed to your knee and he gently rolled up your sweatpants and gasped. Bucky dropped down to get a better look and glanced up at you, “There’s more isn’t there?” You closed your eyes and nodded, pulling up your shirt from the hem, exposing the gigantic bruise forming over your left ribcage. Metal fingers gently settled over your ribs, the cold touch actually refreshing on your skin.
You opened your eyes when you heard Bucky say something about wanting to go kill your ex, but Steve firmly rejected that idea, saying you were more important at the moment. Agreeing, Bucky pulled your shirt down and grabbed your hand, leading you to the car and sliding into the backseat with you. He slung an arm around you and gradually guided your head to lie down on his shoulder. You leaned into him, feeling the tiredness all over your body. Steve murmured something about buckling up for safety, but Bucky’s glare shut him up.
Once you were in their apartment, you told them everything. Bucky kept his arm around you loosely and Steve sat across the room on the edge of an armchair. When you ended it with the things he yelled at you as you left, Steve's eyes went wide and Bucky got up to pace the room. Kneeling down in front of you, Steve cupped your face in his hands and made you look at him. With a serious expression he said, "Not a word of that is true. Not. One. Word." When you didn't respond he continued, "You are beautiful and smart and you deserve much better than him. You are wonderful. Just absolutely gorgeous and worth so much. Especially to us."
"Damn right she is." Bucky said from across the room. Overwhelmed with all their kindness and the hellish night you'd had, you started to cry again. Steve wrapped you up in his arms and picked you up bridal-style, murmuring something to Bucky. You were too upset to look where you were going, choosing instead to hide your face in Steve’s chest. He sat down, still holding you, and you could hear Bucky's voice saying something about needing sleep. Steve laid you down carefully in the middle of a big bed, and you whimpered from the loss of contact. Embarrassed by your own neediness, you turned to bury your face in the pillow. I don’t deserve this, you thought. They’re too nice. I’m a worthless nobody who’s boyfriend cheated on her. You had a habit of talking to yourself, so, unbeknownst to you, those thoughts were being said out loud.
A few minutes passed until you felt someone lay down behind you. A warm hand gently maneuvered you, turning you so you were facing the side instead of down into the mattress. A cool metal hand brushed your hair back from your forehead and stroked it softly. The warm arm wound around your waist below your bruised ribs and pulled you close. Bucky kissed the back of your head and said with a firm but sweet voice, "Stop. Stop saying those things about yourself. Stevie's right. All of that stuff that guy said to you isn't true. You're incredible. And prettier than any girl I've ever seen. Don't think that stuff. Please." You could only manage to nod your head in response. He moved your hair to one side and nuzzled your neck with his nose, uttering soft reassurances into your ear.
You finally started to relax a little when a body dropped down on the bed on your other side. Peering up through your eyelashes, you saw Steve getting settled down before turning to face you. He smiled at you and wrapped an arm over you and Bucky, yanking you both closer. Bucky mumbled, "Manhandle us a little more there, Captain." You chuckled, and then blushed when Steve replied with faux indignation, "I thought you liked it when I took charge." He pulled his arm back to drape it around your hip, right below where Bucky's arm gripped you. His fingers drew circles in your lower back while the other hand cupped your face, running his thumb across your cheek.
Taking a cue from Steve, Bucky's metal started stroking your hair again, while the other palm spread gently over your bruised ribs, massaging soothingly. You could feel the tension easing from your body with their caring touches. Apparently unable to resist manhandling one more time, Steve wrapped his leg around yours and Bucky's. He was strong enough to push you all together firmly, but not painfully. This time, not even Bucky complained. Steve looked in your eyes and said with concern, “Feeling better?” The corners of your mouth turned up into a small smile, “Much better.” Even though you knew you'd have to face your problems and fears eventually, for the rest of the night you could just feel wanted and cared for and protected. You wanted to say something, but eyelids started to feel heavy and all you could manage was a weak, "Thank you." Steve leaned in to kiss your forehead before you let your eyes drift shut. You weren’t sure how they managed to be so soft and comforting while simultaneously bracketing you in snugly with their solid warmth. You sighed contentedly and allowed yourself to fall asleep, feeling safer than you’d felt in years.
~
Memories of the past few months flooded into your mind, making you smile despite the pit in your stomach. After your break-up cuddle pile, a phenomenon named by Steve, they'd insisted you move in. Since your ex had gotten you your current job, you couldn't make yourself go back. They'd come home a few days later with huge grins and a job offer from none other than Tony Stark. He and Bruce Banner needed a lab assistant badly and your degree in biomechanics came in handy. Tony was paying you much more than an average lab assistant and you knew that was partially because he could and partially because of Bucky's...persuasion.
Life had been good with those two. They merged you into their daily routine seamlessly and were always close by if you needed anything. They hugged you, held you when you cried, and let you snuggle between them after a long day. Steve always let you lay your head on his shoulder when you were tired, and Bucky played with your hair when you had a headache. You all ended up in their bed at least a couple nights a week for lots of reasons: Steve wanted to make sure you weren't lonely, Bucky needed a human teddy bear that was actually smaller than him, and you even asked for it a few times. They doted on you, and even though you weren’t quite sure what to do with so much affection, it was a welcome change of pace.
Then the fateful phone call had happened on your way home from the lab three months later. Tony had left for a meeting and Bruce was going to be in the lab overnight, so he waved you off and told you to take an early day. You thought about waiting to catch a ride back with Steve, but he was in a meeting and Bucky had shown up, so no room on the bike for you. Since it was nice out, you decide to walk the few miles back to the apartment. When your phone buzzed in your pocket, you answered it without looking. "Hello?" you said brightly. "Miss me?" questioned a male voice on the other end of the line. You stopped in your tracks. Paralyzed by your ex's snarling voice, you listened as he told you that he still had some of your stuff. He'd apparently tried to contact you to give it back, but had been threatened by a man wearing all black one night while taking out the trash. Thank goodness for Bucky, you thought. He'd also tried to find out where you worked only to be stopped on his morning run by a muscular blonde who told him not to try looking for you again. I've gotta thank them later.
"So what do you want?" You snapped, growing impatient. "Remember, dear, how you always wanted a family, but I said no? Even to a puppy?" He replied. He apparently took your silence for a yes and kept going, "Well my girlfriend is pregnant, with twins! We couldn’t happier. Oh and we're getting a dog, too." You knew you shouldn't care about this man's life, but you did. You'd been with him for three years before you broke up. You'd talked about your futures and he'd always been dismissing, but you just thought he wasn't ready. Obviously he was ready, with another woman.
"Oh and I talked to your Dad the other day," you felt your ears growing hot as you realized the real reason he called you. Your ex hadn't been the first man to lay a hand on you, and he knew it. He knew what your dad had done to you as a kid and how traumatizing that had been for you. Eventually, you’d gotten away from your dad and never looked back. Of course, that idiot contacted him. They were so similar it was scary. "He's going to be our babies' grandpa! Isn't that wonderful? I've got the life you always wanted, but can't have." You were about to hang up when he continued, “Your dad, huh? What a guy. Kicked you around like the pathetic little girl you are? Poor, poor thing. He just wanted a son, but he got you instead. And I just wanted a good little girlfriend and instead I got a worthless, ugly bitch like you. No one could ever really love you anyway. You know that, don’t you?"
You’d hung up and jogged the rest of the way to the apartment. Rehashing the afternoon’s events had you picking up the phone to text Steve, but you soon realized he was still in that meeting. Normally you’d text him instead of Bucky because the latter tended to react very quickly and sometimes violently. But you didn't care if he ripped someone's head off, so you shot off a message you hoped came off nonchalant.
You: Are you coming home soon?
Bucky: I thought you were in the lab with Bruce.
You: He let me go early.
Bucky: We were talking about having dinner at the tower once Tony gets back. Want to do that? I'll come get you.
You didn't respond right away, so Bucky got worried.
Bucky: Is everything all right?
When you didn't respond again, your phone rang and you made sure to check it was this time. As you expected, it was Bucky. He sounded concerned, "Honey, what's the matter?" A little pitiful cry escaped your lips as you were trying to stave off more tears.
His tone changed from worried to incensed, "What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" You took a breath and answered him, "No. I'm not hurt." Your voice cracked a little, "It's him." Bucky knew instantly who you were referring to, "The evil ex-boyfriend? The one I wanted to kill?" You sniffed, "Yeah." Bucky was clearly angry but trying to keep his voice calm, "What did he want?" "He, I," you started to cry and choked on the words, "He's got my stuff and he's having a baby and he talked to my Dad. My dad, Bucky!" You hadn't told your new roommates much about your childhood, but your desperate tone gave away that something was very, very wrong. He listened silently and barked something at someone across the room. "Ask Sam." you mumbled into the phone. Bucky heard that.
You heard him yell, "Wilson!” and then turn back to the phone and say, "Listen, you got to talk to Stevie for a second." The phone crackled and you heard Steve's voice on the other end, "Hey. Hey. It's going to be fine. Soon as Bucky gets done talking to Sam, we're coming home." "Okay," You whimpered, trying (and failing) to compose yourself. Steve kept talking to try and calm you down. After a few minutes, he handed the phone to Bucky. "I'm going to make that guy sorry he was born," he practically growled into the phone. Not knowing what else to say, you stayed silent. Bucky's voice was still edgy, but softer, "Still with me, gorgeous?" Still unable to find your voice, you responded with a small, "mhmm." He sighed, "Okay, we're leaving. Stay put till we get there."
They came into the apartment quietly. There was a short, whispered conversation before Steve came over, kissed your forehead, and disappeared into another room. You heard him start a phone call and instantly felt bad for interrupting his work. You didn't have time to get too worried, though, because you suddenly had a lapful of Bucky.
He wiped away your still-falling tears with his flesh hand, then moved his metal hand up to push your hair behind your ears and thread his fingers through it. “Am I hurting you?” he asked, indicating his weight concentrated in your lap. Chuckling half-heartedly, you shook your head no. You tried to lean your throbbing head forward, but he held you back by your shoulders. "You gotta tell me what happened. When Steve's done, I'll fill him in on what he missed." You took a shallow breath and told him the whole conversation. He removed his metal hand from your hair so he could make fists to quell the fury you could feel radiating from him. You glossed over your dad's abuse, and he nodded where he'd heard details from Sam. When you finished, you were crying hard and this time, he let you come forward and wrapped his flesh hand around to hold your head and consolingly massage your scalp.
Steve had re-entered for the part about your dad and looked like he himself might cry. Bucky filled him in on the rest of the story while you hid your face in his shoulder and wept. He had to pause a few times to quiet you with his voice, “Shh. Shh. It’s okay.” When he finished, you’d stopped crying and raised your head up to look at him. Untangling his hand from your hair, he asked, "Where does that bastard live?” "Same place as before," you answered. He heaved himself up off your lap and made a beeline for the door. You called after him, "Bucky?" He called over his shoulder, "Yeah?" "Don't kill him. That baby doesn't deserve that." Your tone was pleading. He nodded briskly and disappeared.
You stood up and Steve made a move to stop you, but you assured him you would be right back. After taking several deep breaths and splashing cool water on your face, you headed back to Steve, no idea what to expect. Would he be crying? Would he want you to talk? When you cautiously turned the corner into the living room, Steve was sitting on the edge of the couch, waiting, staring at the rug as if it could help somehow. Without looking up, he said, "I'm so sorry. I, I don't know what else to say except I am so, so sorry." You knew what he meant. He looked up, held his arms open to you with a soft, "Come here."
You ended up with your arms loosely around his neck, head on his shoulder. He had one arm around your back and the other under your knees, holding you as securely as he could. You leaned on him heavily, knowing he could handle the weight. Neither of you spoke for a time, though your hitched breaths from all the sobs you couldn't cry seemed deafening in the silence. Eventually, you shuffled down so you could turn into him and bury your face in his chest, slipping your arms around his torso. Once you got settled, he gripped you tightly in his arms and repeated, “I've got you.” “You’re safe.” “I'm right here." You listened to his steady, strong heartbeat and tried to match his calm, even breaths.
Here in Steve’s arms, you felt shielded from the outside world. You felt taken care of and wanted. This is what home is supposed to feel like, you thought. It was the first real sense of home you'd ever had. You belonged here and they valued you. All the muscles in your body felt relaxed. Except your stomach, which chose this tender moment to remind you that you hadn't eaten since breakfast.
Steve laughed and rested his chin on your head. "Hungry?" he asked. Nodding you responded, "Yeah I guess so." He readjusted his hold so you’d know he still had you before he said quietly, "I've got a solution for that, but you have to promise to hear me out." You nodded again, making no attempts to move away from his cradling embrace. He said, "I told Bucky to call Sam and fill him in on the way and he must've because I just got a text. Tony's back from his conference, Bruce is willing to take a break, Sam is staying at the Tower tonight, and so is Clint." You tensed a bit at the thought of all those people and Steve rubbed your back before he continued, "They all know what happened. They all love you and want to kill your ex. Especially Tony." You laughed. "So they're ordering a bunch of food and buying ice cream and want us to come over and eat. It'd be a good idea for you to be around people who support you. But, I won't make you do anything. Only if you want to."
You considered for a moment, but you knew Steve was right. "Okay. I'll go." He tried to get up, but you stopped him, "Can you just hold me for a few more minutes before we leave?” You felt a little childish, but you were pretty sure he’d indulge you. You could hear the smile in his voice when he replied, "Of course."
"Steve?" your voice sounded cracked and dry, but you just had to express something before you lost your nerve. "Hmm?" his chest rumbled in response. "I, umm, I'm not sure exactly how to say this so I'm just gonna go for it." Words threatened to spill out of you before you could catch them. You could feel his head nod, so you took a shaky breath and dove in, "I love you. And I love Bucky, too. I'm so glad you took me in. Thank you."
He squeezed you so tightly you could barely breathe, but you didn't care. "I love you, too. So does Bucky. I don't know what we'd do without our best girl."
After a few more minutes of him cuddling you, Steve's phone went off. "It's Tony. I'll tell him we're leaving, okay?" You sighed, "Okay." You sat yourself back up and smiled at him and he grinned at you, "There's the smile. I missed it." You giggled and untangled yourself from his arms. Steve handed you Bucky's sweatshirt, knowing it was cold out. Once you had it on, you took a deep whiff of the fabric, Bucky’s musty scent soothing on your frayed nerves. He winked knowingly at you and you rolled your eyes. “You’re such a sap, Rogers”, you teased.
Together, you locked up the apartment and headed down to get on his bike. You pulled the hood of the sweatshirt up over your head and scooted up to nestle into Steve's broad back. Normally, he’d insist that you wear a helmet, but today he let it slide, considering your sensitive state.
Once you arrived at the tower and met up with the guys in the shared kitchen, Sam practically vaulted over the counter to get to you. "Are you okay? Not hurt?" You shook your head no, not hurt. Clint signed, "I will kill for you" and you snorted and signed back "thanks but not today" He smirked. You sat down on a stool next to Bruce while Tony and Steve argued over how much to tip the delivery people. He turned to you and whispered, "I'm sorry it was such a bad day. I understand." You smiled and patted his hand. Bruce really got a lot of your life, now that you thought of it.
Tony re-entered with tons of food and laid it all out. At some point, Bucky had returned with no signs of a fight other than his tired expression. He was standing by the door, whispering to Steve and Clint about what happened, and you honestly didn't care as long as Bucky was okay. Tony thrust a glass of wine into your hand and you took it because why not? You didn't drink often, but today seemed like a good wine day. He rapped on his glass like he was about to give a wedding toast, and then loudly announced, "Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, and myself would like to welcome a new member of the 'Our Dads Were Assholes' club!" He gestured at you and you could see Bucky and Steve, frozen and waiting for your reaction. You decided that was a club you could get behind. You raised your glass, smiled broadly, and clinked it against Tony's.
"Let us eat!" He proclaimed as if they needed an invitation. Those men fell on the food like vultures. You were content to wait awhile when Tony pulled a smaller foam container out from the pile and handed it to you, looking entirely too pleased with himself. You opened it to reveal the three-cheese ravioli you were in love with from the super-expensive Italian restaurant down the street. As far as you knew, they didn't do take out. You raised your eyebrows at Tony. He shrugged and said, "I'm Tony Stark. If you want it, I'll get it." You blew him a kiss and he caught it, clutching it to his chest like the big goofball he was.
Steve called you over to sit on the love seat between him and Bucky. Well, it was less like sitting more like getting fondly crushed between two rock-solid walls of muscle, but who could complain about that? You only had the stomach for the ravioli and one bowl of ice cream, but you were plenty satisfied.
When you came back from the kitchen, Bucky pulled you onto his lap without a word and rested his head between your shoulder blades. Sam and Clint were telling some outrageous story, but neither of you were paying attention. Bucky muttered something and you turned your head to try to hear better. He placed his chin on your shoulder then said, "He won't bother you ever again." You sighed in relief, "Thank you." There was a pause before he whispered in your ear, "I heard you love me." You huffed through your nose and whispered back, "Yeah. I do. I love you and Steve and our little family." You gestured to the room. "I love you too," he replied before adding, "I like the family as long as me and Steve are always your favorites. The rest can be your weird cousins we just have to deal with." Smiling, you agreed, "Deal." He pulled you in closer and kissed the back of your head when a realization dawned on him, "Is this my sweatshirt?"
Back at home; you all fell into bed together after putting on your comfiest pajamas. You and Steve agreed without saying anything that Bucky needed to be in the middle tonight, so once he flopped into the bed you curled into his side, combing your fingers through his long hair and resting a hand protectively over his chest. Steve spooned him and reached his left arm above Bucky's head just to touch you, so you were all connected. "You two sure know how to make a guy feel special." Bucky was trying to sound witty, but his words were slurring into a sleepy mess. He snaked his arm around you to trace your spine with his flesh fingers, drumming lightly. Steve's hand brushed your cheek and you leaned into it.
"I love you guys," you whispered, even though they knew. "I love you too!" Steve shot back enthusiastically. Bucky waited a beat before adding, "Love ya both. Now please, can we sleep?" That was a request you were more than eager to oblige.