Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Liara stared at Javik as though he'd grown a third pair of eyes. "Who told you that?"

"It does not matter," Javik said impatiently. "Truth is all that matters. Can you do it?"

"I..." Liara swallowed, her mouth dry. "Technically, yes, I suppose such a thing is possible. Your nervous system is organic, and a father species need not be physiologically similar to be a viable partner."

"Then it is true after all," Javik said triumphantly. "You shall be the savior of my species. Prothean minds shall return to this galaxy from within Asari bodies."

"Wait a moment," Liara protested. "The Asari aren't a means to an end. And as for me--"

She broke off as Javik stormed up to her, his gaze fiery and magnetic. "How long have you wished to know what the Protheans were thinking, Doctor T'Soni?" he demanded. "I have read your papers. You spent your time yearning for understanding, daydreaming of being one of my people. Well?" He spread his arms wide. "Now is your chance to understand. To bear a Prothean child and bring back the greatest of civilizations."

"It isn't like that," Liara said weakly, trying not to let panic creep into her voice. "Asari children are always Asari, just with the DNA of another species. The Protheans would not return, merely Asari with Prothean traits."

"Then that will have to be enough!" Javik glared at her. "Why do you fight this? The gods would not have put you here for me to find, if it were not meant to be."

"For YOU to find?" Liara shot back, anger joining the panic. "If it weren't for my research, you'd still be buried in a vault on Eden Prime."

"You see? It was inevitable." Javik shook his head "You are placing barriers in the way of destiny. You are confused, I can feel it, and frightened, but you need not be. Let me rid you of your doubts."

"No--" Liara began, but before she could try to raise her defenses, his consciousness had enveloped hers.

It was like chasing a rabid dog as it tore its way through her mind, upending everything in its way. Unwanted memories flitted before her eyes, disjointed and impossible to follow. "Please, stop," Liara begged, as she felt herself being dragged from one memory to the next. Gathering all her remaining strength, she shouted, "Stop!"

In an instant she was back in her quarters. The room was unchanged, but cold sweat now chilled her as though she'd walked out an airlock. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, whether for protection or warmth she didn't know. "Get out," she said weakly. "Please, Javik, get out of here."

The Prothean did not answer. He was staring at her with unconcealed rage. "Where is he?"

"Who?" Liara asked blankly.

"The Turian. The one in your mind," Javik replied impatiently.

"Oh." Liara winced as her head throbbed. "I... don't know. Probably dead. That dig site was on a planet that was hit early in the war. Though he might have left for another project by now."

"And the Asari on the red dust planet?" Javik demanded.

"I don't know. It doesn't matter." Liara glared at him. "I told you to leave. You have no right to my mind, any more than you have a right to my body. I will not become an, an incubator for a dead race. I will not share myself with you just because you demand it. Get out."

Javik's eyes narrowed, but he did not reply. Turning on his heel, he left in a rush. As the door closed behind him, Liara felt her knees give way. She hit the floor hard and remained there, tears running freely down her face. It had taken her years to transform her mind from a tangled web of hope, fear, and pain to an organized system of files. Yet in an instant, Javik had retrieved some of the worst memories she'd stowed away, the moments she'd hoped to forget. That he'd been able to enter her mind at all without her permission was terrifying. She felt violated, as though her mind no longer fully belonged to her. Did he need to be near her to invade her thoughts? Was anywhere safe from such power?

Unable to do anything else, Liara let herself sob quietly until she had no more tears left to cry. Then she rose to her feet and limped to her bed, curling up on top of the blankets with her knees drawn tight to her chest. Her entire body ached. Exhausted, she fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

It was near dawn when Liara awoke. She did not move for some time, vainly hoping that sleep might return. But her mind was awake and teeming with thoughts. Her fight with Javik was at the forefront of it all. His arrogance, his insistence that the Asari bear Prothean children, incensed her. Yet she could understand his enthusiasm for the idea. His race was gone, destroyed millenia ago in a time when the Asari were only just learning written language. He wanted his people to live on. He wanted a connection to what was lost. As much as she detested him for what he'd just put her through, she felt her heart go out to him as well. Loneliness was a terrible emotion, one she'd felt many times. A few of the memories he'd managed to dredge up were of her adolescent years. She'd never made friends at university, too intent on her work, or so she'd told herself. In reality she'd been scared. What if the students had looked down on her for being decades younger? What if they'd laughed at her obsession with the Protheans, or worse, feigned interest just because she was Benezia's daughter? She'd quickly grown to love isolated dig sites. Yet she would always talk to herself, pretending to explain Prothean architecture to a group of invisible students or an imaginary fellowship committee. She'd never have admitted it, back then, but she'd been terribly lonely. And her people were still scattered throughout the galaxy. To be the last of her kind, with no one else to even remember the way things had once been...

Liara sat up with a sigh. She owed Javik an explanation, a better one than she'd given in the moment. He owed her an apology, too, but she wasn't fool enough to think she'd ever get one from him. It wasn't his way. Still, they needed to talk, if only for closure's sake. "EDI, is Javik awake?" Liara asked the air.

"He is," EDI acknowledged, her calm voice filtering through the speakers. "At the moment he is in his quarters reviewing a datapad entry on the Asari."

"Thank you, EDI," Liara answered, trying to ignore her sudden sense of foreboding. Had Javik decided to expand his search for available Asari to mate with, now that Liara had turned down his proposition?

She headed for the Elevator and descended to the Engineering Deck, pausing outside Javik's door to knock. "Enter," Javik called imperiously from within.

Bracing herself for another fight, Liara opened the door and walked into the oddly bare room. Javik was standing by a trough of water, gazing down at it contemplatively, and did not turn to look at her. "Asari. You are not who I expected to see in my quarters."

"I believe we left things unfinished," Liara said stiffly.

"You have reconsidered."

"No," Liara said quickly. "But I believe you deserve to understand why I won't be... a part of this. Why I told you to leave."

"I do understand, Asari," Javik said stubbornly. "It is you who does not understand what occurred between us."

"Oh?" Liara crossed her arms. "I understand plenty. You wanted to bring back your people, one Asari mother at a time. You wanted the Protheans to live again, perhaps even to conquer again."

"That, and more. More I did not even realize." Javik turned to look at her, his gaze level and serious. "There is something you must know about my cycle, and about your people. Will you listen?"

"Y-yes," Liara said, surprised that he'd asked. "Tell me."

Javik breathed deeply, closing his eyes as though seeing some faraway place. "In my cycle, the Salarians still dwelt in ponds on Sur'Kesh, the humans lived in caves on Earth, and the Turians walked on all fours. But the Asari had already spread through the empire, not on ships of their own, but on slaving vessels. Owning an Asari was a symbol of wealth and status." His lips twisted. "I will leave it up to you to imagine what purpose they served for most of their masters."

"Why are you telling me this?" Liara asked, her chest tight. "Is this how you see my people? How you see me?"

Javik shook his head sharply. "It is not. At least, it is no longer my view." He gestured to the nearby table, where a datapad lay discarded. "Your mind was an extraordinary realm, Asari. Far more complex than I would ever have guessed. When I returned to my cabin last night, I began reading as much as I could about how your race has flourished since the end of my cycle. It is impressive. And yet."

Liara looked down her nose at him, trying not to let anger get the better of her. Must he always be so dismissive, so arrogant about her and her people? "We still fail to live up to your standards, I take it?"

Javik laughed, but the sound was strange. It was not bitter or even taunting. It was sad. "You are no Protheans. And yet a part of you remains familiar to me. I have sensed as much since we first met. In my readiness to make sense of this new world, I presumed such familiarity was because the Asari had not changed since my time. But that is clearly untrue. Therefore, there remains but one answer for why your essence calls to mine." He took a step closer to her, his movements deliberate and slow. "I do not need you to bear my child, Liara, in order to keep the Protheans alive in this cycle."

"You think the Asari..." Liara breathed.

"I know it," Javik said firmly. "Those Asari who my people bought and traded as bedwarmers and pets bore children with Prothean DNA. Those traits have been passed down through generations, yet are still present. My people live through you."

Liara stared at him. It was baffling to think such a thing could be true, but it made sense in a sordid kind of way. Yet somehow, the revelation made her nerves tingle with anger. "So that's your conclusion, is it? Because your people enslaved and raped my ancestors, made them bear half-Prothean children, you have generously decided that you have no more need to mate with modern Asari?"

"That is not how I would put it, but it is accurate," Javik answered.

Liara gritted her teeth. "The more I learn about the Protheans, the more I wonder why I wasted my life chasing down every last trace of a civilization so cold and unfeeling." She tried to get ahold of herself. After all, at one time she'd have been thrilled to know she had anything in common with the Protheans. Now, though, the knowledge just made her feel dirty. "I'm pleased you've abandoned the plan to continue your fellow Protheans' work, forcibly impregnating every Asari you can lay your hands on," she said bitterly.

"That plan was abandoned long before I reached this conclusion."

Liara blinked. "But you just said--"

"That is what you do not understand, Asari," Javik insisted. "It is not the genetic signature of your mind which gave me pause. It is the content of your thoughts which took me by surprise. Your memories, your emotions."

Liara felt her cheeks burning. "Memories you were never given permission to see."

"I know." Javik looked away. "Among my people, thoughts were exchanged more openly. But it does not matter." He crossed his arms. "What I witnessed within you was a different perspective on existence, one that provided a new context for this world."

"I don't understand," Liara admitted. "There were so many thoughts that you raced through. I still don't know what you were even trying to find."

"I was trying to find memories of your people," Javik explained. "Moments of attachment, community. Ways to make you understand what bringing back the Protheans would mean for me. These feelings are distinct in Prothean minds, easy to trace. Less so in your mind. Community became loneliness, attachment became betrayal. The Asari on the red dust planet."

"She was my first joining," Liara said, unsure why she was willing to divulge something so personal. Perhaps it was simply because Javik had already seen the outcome. "I thought there was something more to our relationship. But I was wrong."

"She used you," Javik said with none of his usual nastiness. "She found your body attractive, but not your mind or heart."

Liara nodded. "The other was similar. The Turian."

"No," Javik countered, frowning. "That memory had fear to it as well."

"He was the lead scientist on one of my first digs after graduate school," Liara explained. "I knew he felt attracted to me. He knew that I knew, and that I didn't reciprocate the feeling. He didn't care."

"That memory dissipated before I saw it fully. Did you castrate him?" Javik asked with a touch of menace.

Taken by surprise, Liara laughed, then became serious once more. "No. I didn't want to make a fuss. I used my biotics to keep him at arm's length, then ran and hid in a room with a decent lock. He only tried to get in once."

"But after that, you did your best to perform your work alone," Javik reminded her. "Your people were not safe. Other species were not safe. You kept them all at bay. What changed?"

"I found Shepard. Or rather," she amended. "Shepard found me."

She related the story of her rescue and arrival on the first Normandy as best she could. "After that, well, I suppose I just trusted them."

"I do not understand how this trust was formed after so long spent alone," Javik said, frowning.

Liara hesitated. She had an idea that most of her mind was screaming at her to ignore, but the opportunity was too good. "I can show you, if you'd like."

Javik stared at her. "I did not have the impression you ever wished me near your mind again."

"This time it will be different. Consensual, for one thing." Liara stepped forward until she could look up into his eyes. "I will pass certain information to you, and nothing else. Our connection will be on my terms, and you will not try to enter my mind and find out more. Understood?"

"Are you sure you do not wish to be a mother, Asari? Because you lecture like one already." Seeing her look, he nodded. "Nevermind. I understand. Make a connection when you wish."

Liara centered herself, picking out the memories she thought would show him the most about her time on the Normandy. Taking a deep breath, she closed her mind, emptying her thoughts, and allowed her consciousness to reach for his.

The moment their minds joined, she knew he'd been right about the Asari having Prothean ancestors. Before, when he'd been in her mind, she'd been too panicked to notice the similarities between their mental structures. Now it was obvious. Weaving their minds together, Liara transferred her memories in one smooth, coherent stream of thoughts. Together they relived her first medical examination from Doctor Chakwas and her first meal with the crew. They watched highlights from a dozen different firefights when one of the crewmembers - Wrex, Tali, Garrus, Shepard - would provide Liara with the cover she needed to recharge her biotics. They viewed the final confrontation with Saren and the battle against Sovereign within the Citadel. When the reaper finally went down in flames, Liara let their connection fade.

She came back to the present slowly, her ears ringing from the battle she'd witnessed in her mind. Somehow, she'd ended up with her hands on Javik's shoulders. She quickly pulled them away and looked up at the Prothean. "So, you see, I needed to trust them, to get through all of that."

"A trust forged in the fires of war," Javik said thoughtfully. "You never cease to surprise me, Asari."

"It isn't quite as straightforward as those memories might have made it seem," Liara admitted.

"Life is rarely straightforward," Javik acknowledged. "Still, I understand better now."

"Good, that's... good." Liara swayed slightly, her vision going gray around the edges. Strong hands caught her around the waist, keeping her upright. "I'm fine," she said, pulling away.

He released her at once, stepping back. "Joining minds can be difficult for those who are not accustomed to it," he said formally. "Rest, before you are needed elsewhere."

Liara nodded. "I will." Turning to the door, she paused. "Javik?"

"Yes?"

"I'm..." She tried to find the right words. "What the Protheans did to the Asari was wrong. But... I'm glad you were able to find some trace of your people in this cycle."

She left quickly, before he could respond. Their minds joining together had been unexpectedly cathartic, and she felt no need to ruin it by arguing over slavery and the "primitive" races of his cycle. Entering her own quarters, she took a seat on the tiny couch and looked out at the stars. She'd forgotten how it had felt to be on the original Normandy. Those initial, nervous few days. Making friends one by one. Learning to speak up when they gathered as a group to discuss tactics and plans for the future. So much had happened since, yet those months aboard ship had made an indelible mark on her as a person. And now Javik knew that.

She imagined she ought to feel as exposed and vulnerable as she'd felt when he'd entered her mind without permission. But she didn't. If anything, welcoming Javik into her memory had made her feel more secure. He would never be the wise Prothean she'd dreamt of meeting, but in the instant when their minds had intertwined, she'd felt his perspective shift. He'd viewed the world through her eyes, the eyes of a "primitive" Asari, and he'd understood. For all the pain he'd put her through, all the impotent rage she'd felt since bringing him aboard, that moment was still worth celebrating. Just... perhaps not with Javik nearby. No need to push her luck.

With a sigh, she rose and made her way to the broker terminal. The galaxy never slept, and there was surely work to catch up on. Any further musings about the Asari's connection to the Protheans would simply have to wait.