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"All of that possibility. It could turn into anything. A butterfly. An elephant. Captain America."
-Steve Rogers in spitandvinegar's "You Will Meet a Stranger"
From a distance, Bucky watches Steve pass the shield on to Sam. For a moment, Bucky considers not going to the bench at all. He takes a breath and heads toward the pair, giving a Steve a congratulatory pat on the back.
"May I have a word with the old guy?" Bucky askes, flashing a smile.
He waits until Sam has retreated well beyond earshot before taking the seat next to Steve.
Steve's face darkens. "I didn't know if you'd want to speak with me."
Bucky looks out over the lake. "I'm not sure I do."
Steve fidgets idly. "I can keep this face on, if you want," he says with a gesture.
Bucky's heart starts to race. "Drop it."
With a twitch of his fingers, the photostatic veil vanishes, revealing Alexander Pierce's unforgettable visage.
Bucky's stomach lurches and finds that he can't bring himself to look Steve in the eyes.
"At some point you must have known," the Commander says with a familiar-false lightness.
1987, the dinner party, Bucky thinks. "2014. The bridge, sir." Bucky lies.
A hotel in some Eastern European city, he wasn't allowed to know where exactly. His brain was fried to shit that night. Wished they drugged him this time. At least something to take the edge off the PAINPAINPAIN. Maximalist décor, good carpet texture (he was walked in barefoot). They will have to replace the carpet after. Stains. His handlers had cuffed him naked to the ballroom table. There were American guests there. Americans because their accents, their clothing. That's when the Asset saw. The Asset saw. He must be. That hair. Those blue eyes. No the Asset is imagining. It had been decades. The Asset malfunctions. It isn't allowed to speak. A handler drags his hips to the edge of the table. The Americans watch. That American watches and doesn't partake. Dicks in. Pain. Pain. PAIN. Touching, groping everywhere. His mouth shoved into the tablecloth. It's not so bad. Thrusting inside him. They aren't using weapons. Thank god. A woman kisses his mouth. It's just sex. It's just sex. Someone starts to stroke him off. Caresses his hair. That American doesn't partake, stands there, sips his drink. They are putting spoons inside him, laughing HAHAHAHA. That American doesn't partake, just watches. The American doesn't partake. The American doesn't partake...that time. The technician have to wipe him extra deep when the handlers haul him back to the base later in the early hours of morning. Because he keeps asking about. Keeps asking about. The American partakes in the safe house. The American partakes in the bank vault. The American partakes in the bank vault. The Commander partakes in the bank vault. The Commander partakes in his office. Partakes in the Asset's cell. The Commander punishes. Punishes. PUNISHES. Sets an example. Touches, penetrates, cuts away at him, burns him. Steals his name. He knows the Commanders name. He knows the Commander's name and it's not Alexander and it's not Pierce and that's IMPORTANT. Longing. Wipe him again. Wipe him again. Wipe him and start over. The man on the bridge...
Steve looks at him for a breath too long. For a terrifying moment, Bucky fears that Steve will press him on matter.
"Why didn't you tell me in Bucharest?"
Bucky inches away from Pierce. "Gee, Steve. While my brain was swiss cheese and I was running for my life, why didn't I want to stop and chat about how you personally oversaw two decades of my torture and rape? Beats me, pal."
"Fair enough. For what it's worth, I didn't know until after I replaced the stones. Sometime in the late 60s I started to look like me. Started to look like him. One day my reflection had a hint of Pierce staring back at me and it all fell into place. I took on the name Alexander Pierce, got myself handshaked into to HYDRA, and tried to take it down from the inside."
"You didn't try to take it down. You tried to take it over. You became HYDRA, Commander. You weren't pretending."
"I had my reasons."
"Shut up! I was there, Steve! I'm not yours to brainwash anymore."
"I did it for you, Bucky! All of it. I did what I could, but I couldn't change your past. They were pushing to decommission you for years. I had to get creative on reasons for HYDRA to keep you."
Bucky laughs right in Pierce's face. "Creative."
Prostitute. Punching bag. Medical test subject. Spare body parts. Contract-killer of children. Torturer of children.
"I also saved Tony when he was just a kid. Nat, Fury, Hill. Peggy would have been executed..."
Her perfectly lipsticked mouth. The woman with brown hair and she's beautiful and she's his mission. Skilled like a widow. She's beautiful. Malfunction. Sergeant Barnes! Confirm? Malfunction. Sergeant James Barnes! Muzzle at the nape of her neck. Commander can you come here I think there's something NO SOLDIER STAND DOWN. Alex! Clearance Denied: She's my mission. Who ordered...Who? WHO? Which higher up? DON'TSHOOT Reyes get them on the phone NOW. Rescind the order. Rescind please. I SAID DON'T SHOOT Please don't I'll give you anything I am loyal to HYDRA I swear I'll fix this Don'tTouchHerPlease let her live. But that would mean that she would. Please I'm begging you anything but that. I am a one of your most valuable leaders. I have led HYDRA better than anyone in the last fifty years. You need me and I NEED HER. Alex Help Me PUTTHEWEAPONSDOWN. Fine. If you agree that HYDRA will never touch her again. That's fine. Understood, I will submit to my sexual punishment. Yes, I'll make sure of it. Thank you, sir. Yes, Hail Hydra. Asset hold her down ALEX LET ME GO Pegs no please don't fight sweetheart I'm so sorry pass me the syringe LET GO OF ME YOU BASTARD Peggy Peggy, I love you. Reyes tell the team that we cook the documentation if anyone tells I will hunt down their whole family and kill them I swear to god Peggy I have to do this I'm giving you my blood the serum will protect you it will be okay it will be okay I have to do this you will live I promise. Commander your orders? Put Her In The Chair.
"Steve. You paved a road to hell when you were just supposed to take your girl dancing, buy a house with her and raise a couple of kids."
"I wanted to be with you. I loved you. I'm sorry. This was a mistake. I'm sorry. I'll go."
Steve stands, reactivating the photostatic mask.
"Wait," Bucky calls.
Steve pauses, face open and full of hope.
"Steve... goodbye."
The Commander raises a hand toward Bucky's shoulder, then thinks better of it. He gives a short nod, then walks away into the tree line.
Bucky stays planted on the bench, watching Steve vanish until he disappears completely.