Archive of Our Own ^beta

What am I doing here?

What am I doing here?

It was the only thing running through Wylan’s head as he put his hand up, spandex-covered palm facing out towards the man in front of him. It was some random burglar, who had taken a single look at Wylan, covered in a black and orange spandex suit with black cargo pants and a utility belt and fucking combat boots, and thought he could beat him in a fight. 

But no, this guy would not be beating Wylan in a fight. Because, as soon as he had brought up his fist and lunged out and hit Wylan’s palm, Wylan could see the exact second that all of the bones in his hand shattered . The man was crying out then, clutching his limp limb to his chest, stumbling back to hit the alley wall behind him. 

Sighing, Wylan pops the top off a vial from his belt, leaning forward to allow it to pass under the man’s nose. Within seconds, the guy’s eyes were rolling to the back of his head, and he was falling to the dirty alley floor. Wylan had already contacted the police when he had come upon the guy stealing the contents of someone’s car, so he knew he didn’t have to stick around. Not like the guy would be waking up anytime soon. 

Wylan doesn’t know why he’s doing this. It’s what he thinks about as he climbs to the roof of the building he’s next to using the fire escape and starts running back home, jumping across the gaps to keep going without having to take the streets. 

He’s been doing this for a few months at this point, running around and beating up bad guys in his spare time around homework and music practice and hanging out with his friends. He doesn’t even know why he started doing it, just because he suddenly got superhuman abilities at the ripe age of 17 doesn’t mean he needed to go out and become some sort of vigilante. 

But, Spiderman had done it, so maybe he thought he could do it, too. He hadn’t yet actually met Spiderman, but they worked in the same areas so maybe he would one day. The vigilante had already been fighting crime for the better part of a year before Wylan gained his own powers, and naturally, it was the only thing he could think of using them for. 

Finally climbing into his bedroom window from the fire escape, Wylan tugged off his suit and proceeded to fold it neatly and place it under the loosened floorboard under his bed. His mother had the slightly-annoying habit of going through his room for dirty laundry, so he couldn’t risk letting her find all of it hidden in his closet or something. 

Because explaining what he was doing with a skin-tight spandex suit and an assorted range of various types of explosives in his bedroom would not be easy. The cargo pants and combat boots were more easily explainable, but he didn’t want to leave any details of that second life lying around for someone to see. 

Not when his best friend and biggest crush was a frequent flier in his bedroom. 

Collapsing into his desk chair, finally changed into more comfortable clothing, he checked his phone, seeing the plethora of messages waiting for him. 

According to the group chat he had with his five friends, there was some news coverage on his fight with the burglar, and apparently, social media platforms had caught on to the new hero on the scene. 

Nina: look at this guy! 

Inej: who is that?

Nina: some new hero guy, i guess

Matthias: the news is calling him Apex

Nina: that doesnt even make sense

Jesper: spiderman is cooler

Wylan couldn’t help but scoff as he listened to that message, how could Jesper think Spiderman was cooler than he was? But, then again, it’s not like his friends knew he was this Apex guy, so he couldn’t hold it against them too much. 

Nina: he looks hot

Matthias: nina im literally right here

Inej: he looks strong, think he has powers?

And there were several other messages following it, the four of them talking back and forth about it and about Spiderman and the math test they had the next day and everything else they could possibly talk about on a Thursday night. The only people not present in the conversation were Kaz and Wylan himself, but that was not a surprise, as Kaz rarely ever responded. Wylan usually did, however, so he would have to make some excuse to not draw suspicion to his silence. 

They all knew he had dyslexia and used a screen-reader to listen to their messages, but it never stopped him from participating with his friends, and they knew it. 

Wylan: sorry guys! was at music practice, missed all the messages

Jesper: no problem sunshine. we were just talking about how much cooler spiderman is over this new guy

Inej: jes you were the only one to say that

Wylan: he does look strong, they’re calling him apex? why?

Nina: thats what im saying. makes no sense but whatever

The night went on like that, soon the conversation diverged entirely to some scheme Kaz was planning and then they were ranking waffle toppings and then there was a fight between Jesper and Nina as to whether chocolate or caramel was better on waffles. Wylan found himself giggling in bed over it all, even over the monotone drone of his screen-reader reading out the messages to him. 

Leave it up to his friends to thoroughly distract him from his weird panic without them even knowing it, but it would only last so long before Wylan was pulling himself back out of bed and to his desk to look over his schematics. He was constantly working at bettering his suit, and currently he was trying to downsize his smoke bombs into something more manageable but with the same amount of coverage. 

Having to carry everything on his person while fighting was becoming a bit annoying, as Wylan liked to keep a large variety of things depending on what the situation was, if the person he was fighting had powers or not. It was why he wore the cargo pants over his spandex suit, because there was simply no way to make enough pockets in it while keeping it skin-tight. So, the pants. And the boots, because he wasn’t Spiderman and couldn’t stick to the fucking walls like that.

He found himself wondering how Spiderman stuck to walls, if it was something his skin allowed him to do. Because if it was in his skin, how did he stick to surfaces through the material of his suit? Did he stick to things with shoes on? Wylan squinted his eyes to refocus on his smoke bombs, trying to rid the neverending questions from his mind.

His suit was simple, black with orange accents and stitching. He had to put extra reinforcement in the palms of the fabric, because more often than not, he was usually putting up a hand to stop whatever was coming at him. He never really needed any more than that to stop an average person. 

Wylan only dragged himself away from the pages of notes and drawings and chemical equations when his mother had poked her head into his room to remind him to go to sleep for school the next day. 

It was just him and his mother, and he loved her, so he knew she could never know about who he was outside of this bedroom. 

~💥🕸️💥~

“Morning, Sunshine,” Jesper greeted as he plopped down into his seat, immediately stretching out his legs and leaning back in it. Their first period was math, and they had a test. Jesper felt it should be illegal to have math class first in the morning, and even more so to give them a test on a Friday, and Wylan laughed as he said as much. 

“Hey, Jes,” Wylan greeted back, looking up from his sketchbook. It was his second book, because he never brought the one filled with his suit upgrades and bomb schematics outside of his bedroom. That book got stored under the floorboard, too, to keep from anyone stumbling across it. And, also, because Jesper had the habit of flipping through his sketchbook whenever he was drawing in it. Just like right now. “Hey! You know, I can’t make more drawings if you keep taking my sketchbook from me.”

Jesper was flipping back to the five pages where Wylan had drawn all of his friends, each person getting their own page. Each page was almost like a character model sheet, different angles and poses his friends normally took as they went about their lives. 

Inej with her stealthy walk and calm expressions and gentle smile. Kaz with his scowl and the way he wrapped his gloved hands over the top of his cane. How Nina smiled at a plate of waffles or sat slouched over at the lunch table. The way Matthias smiled at Nina and how he stood with his arms crossed, looking scary but never actually angry. 

And Jesper. Wylan blushed at how many angles of his face he had across the page. There was also a full-body sketch, like with the others, showing the way Jesper stood nonchalantly, hands shoved into his pockets as he leaned back on one hip, his head tilted just slightly as he smirked at the viewer of the page. There was even a sketch of him smiling, Wylan making sure to show off the little gap between Jesper’s front teeth in it. 

“Do I really stand like this?” Jesper asked, tilting his head to look at himself on the page again. 

“Uh. Um… I mean, I guess,” Wylan dragged his fingers through his own curls, trying to hide the blush rising on his cheeks, his hands drifting down to fidget with the noise canceling headphones around his neck. Jesper was practically calling him out, that he knew that Wylan stared at him, knew how he looked at multiple angles and how he stood. They had been friends since middle school, all six of them had, but maybe friends didn’t look at each other the way Wylan looked at Jesper. 

Wylan knew that Jesper would never look at him the same way, not in the way he wanted. They had both had relationships in the time they knew each other, but all had lasted a short amount of time and were not much more than simple high school love stories. Wylan knew Jesper would never see him in that way, and he just had to be okay with it. He had to be, because he didn’t want to lose Jesper entirely by being an idiot and confessing to him. 

“Oh, this one is new.” Wylan looked back over to see Jesper flip back to the page previous from Wylan’s current sketch. It was one of Spiderman, a dynamic pose of him swinging from some off-page building through the air, his legs tucked under him as his hands pulled on the web string. “Been looking at Spiderman lately, have you, Wy?”

“Alright now, your privileges are revoked until you get above a C on this math test,” Wylan snapped lightly, yanking the sketchbook back towards himself and closing it roughly. Jesper just put his hands up in a surrendering motion, a wide grin on his face. “Stop staring at me like that and take out a pencil or something already.”

“Alright, alright! What’s this test on, again?”

Wylan sighed and rolled his eyes. It was going to be a long day, but at least it was Friday and he didn’t have any other extracurriculars for the rest of the weekend. 

~💥🕸️💥~

“And who are you supposed to be?” 

Wylan looked up, having just stepped back into an alley after saving a girl from being hit by a truck that was barreling down the road. That one had been a bit annoying, trying to stop the truck as it was veering out of control without completely crushing it and the person inside. Sometimes it wasn’t about his strength, but how much of it he used. 

It was Spiderman in front of him, hanging upside down in the middle of the alley, hanging from a web string. Wylan felt his mouth dry, he couldn’t believe he was talking to the Spiderman. There was a slightly metallic-type ring to his voice, and Wylan wondered if he was using a voice changer like the one he had installed into his mask as well. He had yet to really talk to many people, but he was glad for the addition at this moment. 

“Oh, uh. Well, the media has been calling me Apex.  So I guess that’s me,” Wylan shifted on his feet, face heating. He was glad no one could see his blushing. 

“Oh right, you popped up a couple months ago didn’t you?” Spiderman flipped down from his hanging, standing tall in front of Wylan. He was taller than Wylan by a good few inches, and was lean, but built. Wylan wasn’t outwardly very muscular, but from the past several months of running and climbing up buildings, he had put on his own share of muscle. It wasn’t like his strength actually needed it, but the running and climbing were vastly improved from his increased stamina and endurance.

“Uh. Yeah.”

“So you have powers?” Spiderman gestured out a hand at him. Wylan looked down at himself for a moment before looking back up into the wide whiteness of Spiderman’s mask-eyes. Spiderman’s suit was black and red, with a few accents in a light yellow. He wondered what made him choose the colors, but then again he had gone with orange on his own suit simply because it was his favorite color. 

“Super strength, yeah.”

“I don’t know if I’d call that a super power on its own, though. I have enhanced strength too, but that’s just a piece of the package,” Spiderman winked at him, the suit-eye closing and opening up again to look at him. Wylan hadn’t thought he would be so… cocky? Suave. It reminded him of Jesper, weirdly enough. 

Wylan just huffed instead of responding, not trusting his words right then, and bent over to the dumpster next to them in the alley. Putting up a singular finger to Spiderman, who just tilts his head in waiting, Wylan puts the finger against the underside of the dumpster and lifts .  It rises in the air effortlessly, the whole thing lifting several feet off of the ground. Wylan isn’t even leaning back, bearing the weight or even flexing his arm. To him, the dumpster is as light as a feather, barely noticeable. He holds it up for a few more seconds before lowering it back to the ground, letting it rest with a small thud . It had taken him a very long time to gain that much control over how much strength he used and how he used it. It would be far too easy to crush something, or someone.

“Shit,” Spiderman breathes out. They stand in silence for a few moments as Spiderman seemingly gathers himself, and Wylan wonders if he expected to just come upon some kid trying to play hero. But then again, that was what he was doing. He was just a kid who had gotten powers and now was trying to do something with them. “And what about the smoke and stuff all the time? I’ve seen you on the news running away with smoke trailing after you.”

“Oh. Smoke bombs. I make them. Among other things,” Wylan fidgets in his nervousness, hands fiddling at his utility belt, not sure if he should take one out to show him or something. 

“Ah gotcha,” Spiderman nods, before straightening up suddenly, like something far off got his attention. “Well, duty calls, toodaloo!” 

Wylan doesn’t even have a chance to respond before Spiderman is extending his arm and shooting out a string of webbing, pulling himself away and out of the alley. Wylan spins to watch him swing away, and within seconds, he’s around the corner and out of sight. 

He just met Spiderman, and impressed him. 

~💥🕸️💥~

“Hey, did you guys see that new picture of Spiderman and Apex?” Was the first thing Nina asked when she sat down at their lunch table, which was outside in the measly courtyard of their high school. When the weather was nice they liked to go outside, usually because the cafeteria was a lot and overwhelmed some of them easily. Namely, Kaz and Jesper and Wylan. So, they took to sitting outside whenever they could as soon as they got to high school, and when it was too cold, they usually sat huddled around in a music practice room that Wylan would reserve for them. 

“What?” Jesper asked back, perking up from his drumming on the picnic table edge. Wylan looked up from his sandwich, having been sitting quietly, listening to the rhythm of Jesper’s fingers. He was trying to figure out what song it was, or if it was something Jesper had randomly made up, as he did that a lot. 

“I guess someone got a picture of them after Apex saved some girl, here, look,” Nina was swiping at her phone before turning it around to face the two of them, who were sitting next to each other. The other three had yet to join them at the table, but their lunch period technically hadn’t even started yet, so there was still time.

Wylan looked at the slightly blurry photo. It was Spiderman and Apex in the alley, with Apex’s back to the camera and Spiderman hanging upside down facing him. Wylan kept his face in a schooled expression, used to having to hide his emotions when he was still living with his father. After his mother had returned to his life and fought for full custody over him when he was 16, he had become better at unmasking around his loved ones. So, it was a bit harder than usual to fight the red in his cheeks, but at least he was able to keep any outward nervousness from showing as he looked at the phone.

Jesper was still drumming his fingers lightly next to him, but his gaze was set firmly on the photo. Wylan peaked over at him, wondering why Jesper was so interested. Or, maybe he wasn’t and he was just being nice by looking at Nina’s photo. 

Nina took it back after they had both looked up from it, immediately turning it to show the other three of their friends, who had all finally shown up.

“I heard that Apex guy has like super strength or something,” Jesper noted, returning to his drumming in full. Wylan pulled out his sketchbook, flipping to the page he had been working on the previous day, eating his sandwich with his off hand. 

“Yeah, have you seen those videos of him fighting? He stopped a truck in its tracks with a single hand,” Inej piped in, having looked down at the photo. Kaz barely gave it a fleeting glance before settling back into his seat, cane propped up against the table edge. 

“Rumor is that Spiderman was bitten by a radioactive spider, that’s how he got his powers. I wonder if something like that happened with this Apex guy, because there’s no way someone could do that without powers. Like, look at him! He’s basically a twig!” Nina was rambling now, gesturing a hand down at her phone, tearing into a waffle as she looked around at them. Wylan tried to keep his focus on his sketchbook, biting his tongue to keep from correcting her. He hadn’t been bitten by anything, certainly not a spider, but he had come in contact with something radioactive. In his defense, he didn’t realize it was radioactive. 

“He’s not that much like a twig, is he? Look at Spiderman! He’s like a tall stick!” Wylan couldn’t help himself, his voice coming out muffled around his sandwich. His other hand was still drawing, trying to keep him from spiraling just a bit. 

“I don’t know about a stick , really. Spiderman looks like he works out, at least,” Jesper chimed in, nudging Wylan in the shoulder, jostling his pencil just a bit. It earned him a glare, and Jesper just sheepishly grinned back at him, his rings glinting in the sunlight. Jesper was dressed in a deep green hoodie and black jeans, which Wylan thought complimented his dark skin and gray eyes like a dream. Wylan, however, was dressed in a comfy sweater that his mother had made him, and some light wash jeans and converse. The sweater was a soft blue, and Jesper always made a point to compare it to his eyes whenever he wore it. Wylan didn’t know what to make of it. 

“Enough about superheroes, what did you guys get on the Pre-Calc test?” Inej was smooth with changing the subject, and Wylan was glad for it, he wasn’t sure how much longer he would last if they kept talking about Apex and Spiderman. He was sure he would break his pencil soon. He had become quite good at controlling his strength, but it was a finicky thing when he was frazzled. 

~💥🕸️💥~

“So, what’s your deal?” 

Wylan didn’t understand how Spiderman kept sneaking up on him like this, it was getting annoying. And Wylan’s hearing had been enhanced amongst other things, so it was even more nerve-wracking that Spiderman could sneak up on him. 

“Deal with what?” Wylan responded, starting to climb up the building next to him, using a mixture of the brick wall and fire escape to aid him. Spiderman was standing on the wall next to him, his body completely straight and parallel with the ground below. Climbing the wall wasn’t hard , per se, but it was a bit annoying that Wylan had to do it that way when Spiderman could just walk up the wall. 

“How’d you get your powers?” They moved onto the roof, and Wylan sat down on the edge, his legs dangling over the empty expanse of air. They weren’t terribly high off of the ground, but he knew if he fell from that height he’d make a sizable crater in the sidewalk below. Spiderman sat next to him, but moved to flip himself upside down, sitting on the underside of the edge of the building, his feet pointing up next to Wylan. Wylan just rolled his eyes, because of course Spiderman would want to sit upside down on the roof just because he could. It did remind Wylan of his earlier questions, about how Spiderman could stick to things through his suit, or if it was the suit itself that allowed him to stick to things. If it was the suit, maybe Wylan could figure out how to do it, too. 

“How did you get your powers?” Wylan asked instead of answering, swinging his legs a bit and enjoying the rhythmic way his boots smacked against the hard wall. Spiderman flung himself back up into a handstand next to him, briefly lifting himself onto a single finger before letting his legs swing back down to sit normally next to Wylan. 

“I asked first,” Spiderman retorted, leaning back on his hands. 

“I, uh. Touched a radioactive meteorite. I think some of it must have gotten into my bloodstream or something. I didn’t know it was radioactive, though. Just thought it was a cool rock in a lab,” Wylan said, mirroring Spiderman and leaning back on his palms. 

“You touched a rock, and got superpowers from it ?” Spiderman swung his head to look over at him, his eyes wide. 

“Basically. Happened like, eight months ago? It was scary, honestly. I started breaking everything , I was scared to touch anything,” Wylan nodded, shifting so he was a bit more comfortable. He readjusted his utility belt so he wasn’t sitting on it, knowing there were a few smoke bombs strapped to the back of it.

“Ah. Yeah, I get that. I got bit by a radioactive spider, and then I was sticking to everything and breaking stuff and could fucking hear everything .”

“Oh, me too. It’s not just the strength. Speed, hearing, durability, reflexes. All enhanced, it was super weird to get used to.”

Wylan could see then that they were more similar than he had originally thought. Just two people, who were normal one day, and like this the next. And then they decided to do something about it, and he found himself smiling at the idea of having a friend who understood what it was like. None of his school friends could understand, and he didn’t want to tell them. It was dangerous, this second life, and he had already made a handful of enemies from it, some he knew would stop at nothing at destroying everything dear to him.

“So, you make smoke bombs. What else?” So they were just talking now. Like friends. It was weird, not having a villain to fight or somewhere to be. His mom thought he was hanging out with his friends, and his friends thought he was at music practice. It wasn’t a solid ploy, but it had worked so far. 

“Oh, an array of things. Regular bombs, small fireworks. And I have a few chemicals, too, like one that knocks you out for at least thirty minutes,” Wylan said, thinking back to how he used that one most frequently when he could, since it always made it easier for the police to pick up the villains and burglars and other people doing wrong around the city. 

“Seriously? How do you make sure you don’t knock yourself out with it? And how do you even know about that stuff, are you some kind of super-genius?” Spiderman seemed to be one to fidget when not swinging around or fighting, apparently, for he was lightly picking at the material of his suit, pulling it up from his leg and letting it snap back into place. 

“Special filter in the mask, keeps out the smoke and chemical fumes. And, no,” Wylan let out a laugh. He was by far no genius. Yes, he had decent grades in most classes, and even with the accommodations he had for his dyslexia, it was still difficult. And, after being called an idiot for most of his life, he couldn’t help but believe it. If he was told he was stupid so much, how could it not be true? “I’m not a genius. I just… enjoy chemistry. After I realized the super strength couldn’t do everything for me, I started making the smoke bombs and keeping chemicals on me. Balance, I guess.” 

“Hm. Makes sense, I guess. So, you can’t stick to walls, or anything?”

“No. That reminds me, I’ve been wondering, how do you stick to walls? Like is it something your skin lets you do? Then how do you stick to walls with the suit on? Like how does that power bypass the fabric? Does it work when you wear shoes, too?” Wylan finally let out all the questions he’s been wondering about for months, unable to let them go unanswered now that they had opened up the conversation about powers. 

“Alright, hold on, hold on,” Spiderman held up a hand, chuckling a bit. “My skin does stick to stuff if I want it to. But, honestly, I have no idea how it works through fabric. I never really thought about it like that, so I don’t have an answer for you. And yes, it does still work with shoes on.”

Wylan looked back out at the city skyline, taking it in. He was a little annoyed that Spiderman couldn’t answer his questions, but if he didn’t know how it worked himself, it wasn’t like he could be too angry about it. Wylan didn’t know how his strength worked either. His muscles obviously weren’t big enough for anything close to what he could do, and they never hurt afterwards either. Some things just had to go unanswered and he would either have to learn to live with it, or find out himself. 

Wylan reached into his pants pocket and pulled out what looked like a phone, or small tablet. It was something he had tinkered with himself, rigging it with a screen-reader and text to speech to read out his messages, along with being a police radio scanner and practically anything else he needed it to do. 

“Do you have a private number, or something? We can keep in contact that way, if you want,” Wylan started, fiddling around with the tablet. He had it connected to his cell phone number, but also had it set up with a separate, private number, too, both untraceable. When Spiderman didn’t respond, he backtracked. “Or, or not. You know, up to you. Just thought it may be easier instead of having to just… bump into each other or something.”

“Uh, no, it’s not that. I just don’t have a burner or anything. It’s always just been me, until you came along, so I never really needed it.”

“That makes sense. Shit, looks like there’s something going down on fifth, we should go,” Wylan stood up abruptly. He had the tablet hooked up to some flat headphone speakers he had installed in his mask, so he could listen to his messages and hear the radio. No one could hear anything from the outside, however. 

Spiderman shot up to his feet as well, extending his arm like he was about to swing away. 

“Hey,” Wylan called out abruptly, stopping Spiderman from immediately jumping off of the building without him. “I have increased speed but it’s far away, could you take me with you?” He felt nervous asking, but it would take him too long to make it there, even with running on the rooftops, and according to the police scanner, whatever was happening was causing a lot of damage already. 

“Alright, fine,” Spiderman opened up his other arm as if for a hug. Wylan could practically hear him rolling his eyes under his mask, but stepped forward anyways. “Hold on tight, and you better not be super heavy.”

“I’m not,” Wylan retorted, wrapping an arm around Spiderman’s shoulders, having to stretch up to reach it comfortably. 

And then they were jumping off the roof. The air flew past Wylan’s face as he was suddenly falling, and he gripped onto Spiderman a bit tighter. He could feel the man’s arm tighten against his waist. Then there was the sound of his web shooters, and then they were swinging back up above the buildings. It was exhilarating, and he couldn’t believe Spiderman got to do this every day. 

It continued like that, the two of them hurling past buildings and around corners until they finally came upon a clump of police cars around what looked to be a man… in a metal Rhino suit. It wasn’t the strangest thing Wylan had seen, but it was odd. 

Spiderman let them swing down to the ground in a graceful arc, letting his hand slide off of Wylan’s back as he stepped away. Wylan flushed red as he realized how close they had been, but soon shook it off, stepping forward to face whatever this villain was. He could faintly hear yelling around him, people shouting that Spiderman and Apex had made it to the scene, that they were there to stop this rhino guy from hurting more people. 

“What are you supposed to be, some sort of hippo, or something?” Spiderman yelled across the empty expanse of road towards the Rhino-man. Wylan was surprised he was being so brash, but it looked like Spiderman was doing it on purpose, if not only to just rile him up. 

“I am The Rhino!” Was all Wylan heard before the man in the mechanical suit was sprinting at them, the noise of metal on metal a bit grating on Wylan’s ears. 

“You’re up, Sunshine,” Spiderman stepped back from him, a hand splaying out wide in a ‘after you’ motion. Wylan stumbled slightly, his head swinging over to look at Spiderman next to him. Sunshine was something Jesper had always called him. It wasn’t a rare nickname, but it was odd to hear from someone else like that.

“What did you call me?” He asked, having to snap his head back forward, his arms coming up just in time to take the brunt of The Rhino’s force. His feet barely moved back on the pavement, his boots scraping on the asphalt. He pushed back, tipping The Rhino off his feet and onto his back. 

“Sunshine. For your absolutely sparkling personality,” Spiderman responded as he swung by, shooting strings of webbing around The Rhino to secure him to the ground. 

Then, because of course he did, the man inside tried climbing out of the suit, but he didn’t make it far. Jumping forward, Wylan caught one of his arms in his own hand, and saw that his other arm was being pinned down by more webbing. Then, there was webbing wrapping around the man’s legs, and he was falling. Wylan let go of his other arm, not wanting to fall with him or risk accidentally ripping his arm off. It was a worry of his. 

“Right,” Wylan responded, stepping back to allow Spiderman to wrap the man in more webbing, deeming him completely immobilized. The police moved in then, rushing towards the man and surrounding his mechanical Rhino suit. It was an easier fight than what Wylan had predicted. 

“Well, I guess that solves that. Did you want a lift back home, sweetie pie?” Wylan could hear the sarcasm just dripping from his voice, and huffed out a breath. 

“ No , I am perfectly capable of getting home on my own two feet. Thanks for the lift here, though. And if you get a burner, let me know,” Wylan shook his head, not sure if it was at Spiderman or himself. He quickly excused himself after that, not interested in chatting with the police. Spiderman was soon off too, leaping up and swinging away like he wasn’t even there to begin with. 

Wylan slipped between two buildings, climbing up to the roof again. He didn’t rush back home, entirely, instead he ran at a brisk pace and kept an eye out for any other disturbances. The police scanner in his ear was mostly quiet, and there was only a single message for him, one from Jesper, asking if he wanted to hang out and do homework, which Wylan knew was code for Jesper not understanding the math lesson from that day and was asking for help. 

Pressing a few buttons on his tablet, Wylan spoke out a confirmation, and Jesper was quick to respond, stating he would be at his apartment in ten minutes. Wylan picked up the pace then, hurrying through his bedroom window and ripping off his suit. Luckily, his mother was still at work, so he didn’t have to slip back out and come in through the front door to announce his presence. 

He had just recovered the wooden planks over his hiding spot when Jesper was knocking on his front door, so Wylan hopped up, brushing his curls from his eyes. He had changed into a comfortable hoodie and joggers, trying to make it seem like he had been relaxing at home for the entire afternoon. 

“Hey, Jes,” Wylan greeted as he opened the door, making sure to use just the barest of pressure from two of his fingers. After a fight, even a simple one like against The Rhino, it was a bit harder for him to rein in the strength to something manageable. 

“Hey, your mom still at work?” Jesper asked as he walked in, kicking off his shoes by the door. Jesper was a staple presence in Wylan’s apartment, and Marya loved having him over. So, Jesper always made himself at home. 

“Yeah, she won’t be home for a bit, but if you want to stay for dinner, you can, she won’t mind,” Wylan said as the two of them wandered back to Wylan’s bedroom. It was routine, Wylan extending a dinner invite. Jesper didn’t always stay, but sometimes he did. He didn’t like leaving his father alone for dinners too often, and Wylan always understood. 

After moving in with his mom, he didn’t like leaving her all alone either, especially now that he was allowed to eat with someone else instead of in his room, and was also actually given dinner every night. It was a common punishment of his father’s, to withhold food from him. His friends at school knew about it somehow, even if he never said so, but they would take turns bringing him extra food to eat before school started, and gave him more at lunch to take home and hopefully hide in his room. Wylan never told them, but maybe the rapidness of his weight loss during early high school was telling enough. 

“Yeah, sounds good. Da’s at bowling night, anyways, so he won’t be home till late,” Jesper responded, collapsing onto Wylan’s bed with a huff. Wylan instead sat at his desk, which was right next to the bed, pulling out his math homework. He had only finished half of it so far, but he knew it wouldn’t take him long to complete. 

So, they spent the rest of the afternoon like that, talking and Wylan helping Jesper with his questions and showing each other stupid videos on their phones and all of the other things that best friends did. Wylan tried to ignore the way Jesper would lean on his shoulder as he showed him another silly video, all too aware of the contact they were making. 

Jesper was just an affectionate friend, that was all. He had always been that way, touching people and hanging off of them. All but with Kaz, of course, but that was a given. Everyone else, however, was mostly fair game. Wylan was not special for receiving it, he told himself. He was not special for receiving Jesper’s flirting, or his touches, or the small smiles he gave him when it was just them and no one else. The real smiles that he didn’t show at school, because those smiles were part of his elaborate act to hide his true feelings, to play up his reputation of a playboy, a distraction, the boy that could never shut up or stop moving or getting bad grades. 

But Wylan never told him to stop moving, or to shut up, no, he just listened and let him ramble, let him drum his fingers against Wylan’s shoulder as Wylan explained a math question. Jesper could be himself around Wylan, but it didn’t make Wylan special for it. It was just basic human decency. And it wasn’t like Jesper didn’t put up with his own idiosyncrasies.

His need to wear headphones more often than not, the slight rocking he did no matter where he was sat, the way he would go off on tangents about something that had interested him that day. The way Wylan sometimes didn’t talk at all, and they would just sit together, Jesper filling the silence with his own words, unable to go long without the noise. He never expected Wylan to respond, so he never left space for it when he knew Wylan wasn’t in the headspace for talking. 

They understood each other intrinsically, but Wylan continued to tell himself that he wasn’t special for it. It didn’t mean Jesper would like him romantically, would love him the way Wylan loved him. Because he did. Love Jesper. He had accepted it for himself years ago, but made sure to push it down, not willing to ruin their friendship over it. 

So, he just smiled and laughed at his terrible jokes and they spent dinner talking about things with Wylan’s mom, about school and their teachers and about Marya’s work and everything else friends did when they knew each other so well. 

Wylan was always glad for the hugs Jesper gave before he would leave, his lanky arms wrapping around Wylan’s shoulders, pulling him in for a few long seconds. Wylan would always tuck his head under Jesper’s chin, listening to his heartbeat. They would hold each other for a bit and then pull away, and then Jesper would ruffle his hair and Wylan would swat at his hand. Routine, but cherished all the same.

Wylan loved his best friend. 

~💥🕸️💥~

“Shit,” Wylan muttered as a giant lizard tail flicked towards him, and he lifted his hands up to brace against it. 

He and Spiderman had been working together for a few months at that point, and they had solidified their partnered fighting style quickly. Wylan was the muscle, and Spiderman the speed. It played to their strengths, and Spiderman was much better at maneuverability with his web-slinging than Wylan could be at running around everywhere. And his bombs and powders only worked so well, as he didn’t like to use them when there were people around, which ended up being a lot of the time with their fights. 

The tail was just hitting his outstretched hands when he heard Spiderman yelling out his name. 

“Apex! Watch out!” 

Wylan snapped his head over, seeing a giant clawed hand coming down on him. He was too distracted by the giant tail, that he hadn’t been looking at the rest of the giant lizard-man. This wasn’t going to be good. 

The claws came down hard on his ribs, pulling long slashes into his skin. The suit tore into ribbons, and he didn’t even feel any resistance on his skin as the claws cut him. He had an increased durability to his body and skin after being affected by the radioactive meteorite, but that would only work so far against foot-long razorblade claws. 

Wylan flew back at the impact, falling to the pavement a handful of feet away. The pain was immeasurable, indescribable. It was like hot knives had been stabbed into him, like he had just been put through a saw blade. 

He could barely keep his eyes open, looking through blurry vision as he saw Spiderman jumping on the lizard’s back, webs shooting around and surrounding him. It was fast paced and Spiderman was struggling, Wylan realized. He was seconds away from being thrown from the lizard’s back, and Wylan needed to do something, fast.

He reached around, ignoring the sharp pain in his side as he did, and pulled out the familiar feeling of a flashbang. 

“Eyes!” Wylan meekly yelled out before mustering himself up to his knees, his other hand pressing hard into his ribs. They felt like they were on fire. He waited another second before throwing the flashbang as hard as he could, and then closed his eyes. He could feel the brightness behind his eyelids, and just hoped that it was close to the lizard man to sufficiently stun him. 

It must have worked, Wylan realized as he opened his eyes again, because Spiderman was jumping around quickly, shooting off web after web, wrapping the lizard man until he was almost entirely covered. He was webbed onto a car and the ground, and wasn’t moving much. Wylan hoped that that meant it was over, and could have cried as he saw the lizard rapidly shrinking back down into the form of a man.

In too much pain to question what the hell had just happened, Wylan pulled himself to his feet shakily. He almost immediately buckled again, but then there were arms around him. He blinked up at Spiderman, who’s arms had wrapped up under his armpits, supporting most of his weight. 

“Come on, now,” Spiderman mumbled, shooting a web and pulling them from the street and onto a building roof. He didn’t stop, instead Spiderman just kept going, swinging them between alleyways. “I thought you said something about enhanced durability or whatever.” Wylan was too distracted by the pain to notice how scared he sounded.

“Yeah,” Wylan gasped out, the pain almost completely debilitating. He couldn’t have stood on his own two feet if he tried. “ Enhanced, not fucking invincible , completely different things.” His voice was garbled, and he wasn’t sure if the other man could even understand him. 

Spiderman just laughs and finally drops them onto a roof several blocks away. The laugh sounded forced and fake, and it definitely wasn’t a funny situation. Wylan almost felt like laughing himself, if he didn’t feel like it would make him scream. He wanted to scream anyway. Stumbling away a few steps, Wylan falls onto his ass roughly, his hand falling down to brace himself against the roughness of the roof. Spiderman reaches out a hand again to seemingly help him stand up again, but Wylan just pulls back as far as he can without actually moving. 

“I’m fine. I can get home by myself from here.”

Wylan was definitely not fine, he felt like he couldn’t even breathe. But what was Spiderman going to do? Swing him all the way home and into his bedroom? 

“Apex. You can barely stand. Please, don't you trust me?” Spiderman still had his hand outstretched, but didn’t step closer. At least he was trying to be respectful. Wylan eyed the hand critically, wanting to take it but knowing he couldn't. He just couldn’t.

“That's the problem. I trust you too much. So just let me go,” Wylan mutters, forcing himself to his feet. He’s still hunched over, a hand pressing against his side. He knows that the suit is ripped, that Spiderman can see the deep slashes and his pale skin. He hears a noise of protest behind him, and tries to look over his shoulder. “I’ll use a smoke bomb if I have to. Or… or something else. Just leave me alone.”

He sees Spiderman just put his hands up in a non-threatening gesture, watching almost helplessly as Wylan stumbles away. Wylan just hopes the man won’t follow him anyways. 

He barely makes it home, almost collapsing several times on his way back. It’s a struggle to pull himself through his window, and he allows himself to just lay on his back on his bedroom floor for a few minutes before mustering himself up and out of his ruined suit. 

He spends the night cleaning and sewing up his own slashes, wrapping long bandages around his torso, all the while wincing in pain. He didn’t know what else to do, how was he supposed to deal with that?

Wylan forces himself to go to school the next day, if only to keep up appearances. He could call out sick, tell his mother he’s not feeling well, and maybe he should have, he realizes as he sits down in his math class. Luckily he only has a single visible bruise on his temple, and his hair covers it mostly. He got practically no sleep the night previous, having been in too much pain to actually fall asleep. He just laid there, trying not to cry too loudly to alert his mother in the next room over. 

Jesper doesn’t look well as he collapses into his chair next to him, his body is fidgeting with nervous energy and there’s a relentless scrunch in his eyebrows. 

“What’s wrong, Jes?” Wylan musters, trying his best to make sure his voice doesn’t sound pained. He was usually good at masking that, too, but this was a pain he had never experienced before. 

“Uh, nothing. Just had a fight with my Da, is all,” Jesper laughs, and Wylan just frowns at him. At school, Jesper normally does this, pushes things off and pretends they're not bugging him. It’s when they’re alone that Wylan can usually get him to open up about things. So, he doesn’t push it, not when they’re surrounded by other people like this.

Wylan manages to hide his pain until lunch, when Jesper ends up nudging him in a friendly jab, right on his ribs. He can’t help but wince heavily at it, his eyes squeezing shut. 

“Hey, you okay?” Nina asks before Jesper can, seeing his face pinch from across the table. 

“Yeah, I, uh. I fell down the stairs yesterday,” Wylan blushes, and the group gives out a mix of light chuckles and sounds of pity. At least they take Wylan’s redness as embarrassment instead of his nervousness at hiding and lying to them, but luckily they don’t push it much further. 

“Sunshine, you have to be more careful. Can’t have you breaking a bone or, God, ruining your pretty face,” Jesper jokes, smiling down at him with one of those smiles he uses at school. Not a real smile. Wylan can spot what looks maybe like worry in his eyes, and he blushes a bit redder at both the words and Jesper’s concern. Wylan forces out a laugh and a quiet right as they finish their lunch period. 

“Anyways, that Apex and Spiderman fight from yesterday!” Nina erupts, like she had almost forgotten about it. 

Wylan listens as they talk about it, about the lizard man and what Apex and Spiderman had done to take him down. Wylan uses the excuse of not following the fight on the news as to not contribute, mostly because he doesn’t want to relive it himself, and he can’t really bring himself to speak much at all. His periods of being nonverbal are not surprising around his friends, and they make it a point to not push him into speaking when he doesn’t want to. He always gets warm at the thought of it, that he can be himself around them and they won’t judge him for it. 

So, he listens as they talk about how beat up Apex got, about how bad it looked. They talk about how the fight finished, how Apex got back up anyways and he and Spiderman took the lizard man down. How badass it was how Apex still helped stop the villain while half-knocked down. How cool Spiderman’s web-slinging was as he jumped around the villain and captured him against the car.

Wylan, even in his half-paying attention, notices how little Jesper contributes to the conversation, instead just sitting and fidgeting, fidgeting with his rings and bouncing his knee. The scrunch in his eyebrows is deeper than that morning, and Wylan wonders if the fight he had with his father was affecting him more than Jesper was trying to let on. 

Instead, Wylan just reaches over to him, placing his hand into Jesper’s. A silent offering, one that he does quite frequently. It’s an offering for Jesper to fidget with something other than himself, to play with Wylan’s fingers and his bracelets and his hand. Jesper always accepts it, immediately scooping it into his own hands and fixating on Wylan’s pale, soft skin. He usually runs a tip of one finger up and down Wylan’s fingers, dragging it up the side of his pointer finger and down the other, following the lines of his hand until he gets to the outside of his pinky and then goes back again. 

Wylan doesn’t know why he does it that way, but it never bothers him, instead, he finds it calming. It always seems to give Jesper a better outlet to calm down to, and Wylan always finds it soothing. It works for them. 

So, Wylan sits and closes his eyes and just feels. Feels the pads of Jesper’s fingers grazing over his own, feels his bracelets being twisted around and around his wrist. They finish out the lunch period this way, and by the end, Jesper’s face looks a bit more relaxed and he isn’t bouncing his knee anymore. When the bell rings, Jesper just looks at him and whispers a small thank you . Wylan just nods back, and they part ways at the cafeteria doors, heading to their own classes. 

~💥🕸️💥~

Wylan doesn’t go back out as Apex for a few weeks. His absence is not forgotten by the media, and he gets messages practically every day from Spiderman on his hidden tablet. He always responds to the other hero the same way. 

I’m okay. Still healing. Not coming back yet.

Spiderman always responds with a variation of get better or let me help you or i miss fighting with you or this villain would have made you laugh, he called himself combustion-man or something else entirely. Wylan never responds to those ones, leaving his tablet on read before looking again the next day, and responding to Spiderman’s how are you today? texts the same every time. 

I’m okay. Still healing. Not coming back yet.

It’s weeks later when he finally does come back, and he doesn’t even text Spiderman beforehand, he just goes out and tries to act normal, like he hadn’t disappeared at all. He just shows up, helping Spiderman with a gang of burglars from robbing someone’s small business. Wylan doesn’t even understand why the people want to rob a tea shop, but he doesn’t have time to ask questions. 

Instead, he just drops into the alley they’ve run down, blocking them in from the other side as Spiderman comes up behind them.

“Apex! Nice of you to show up!” Spiderman yells over the heads of the burglars, creating a distraction. The two take them down quickly, leaving them knocked out and wrapped up in webbing. 

They climb up to the roof tops in silence, moving a handful of blocks away before sitting on the edge of a tall skyscraper. Spiderman had helped him get to the top of that one, as Wylan wouldn’t actually have been able to climb the smooth sides of the building himself. 

It’s a similar appearance to an earlier rooftop conversation they had, seated on a building edge and looking out at the skyline. 

“I’m glad you’re back,” is the first thing Spiderman says to him once they’re seated comfortably, and Wylan looks over at him. He had to completely replace his suit, so there aren’t even any cut marks in it, but that doesn’t stop Spiderman from staring at his ribs, like he can see the mostly-healed slashes underneath the fabric. 

“Glad to be back. Sorry it took so long,” Wylan responds, looking out at the horizon, avoiding the white-hot gaze of Spiderman’s masked eyes. 

“It’s fine. I’m just glad you’re okay. It did get quite boring without you, however,” he joked, legs swinging below him. Wylan just laughs, shaking his head. He knows it's a lie, there’s no way Spiderman actually preferred his company and partnership over running alone. “But, I have to ask. What was all that about? The I trust you too much shit?”

Wylan wasn’t expecting the question, and it takes him a few long moments to find the words to answer him. 

“I… I trust you probably too much. More than is good for either of us. I didn’t want you getting dragged into my problems, you don’t deserve that,” Wylan doesn’t look at him, instead just playing with his tablet in his lap. There are no messages waiting, no chatter on the police scanner. It’s practically silent.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it. What’s really going on?” Spiderman stood up then, pacing along the building’s edge.

“You’d… you’d be disappointed if you knew who I was. I just didn’t want you to find out and then be disappointed.” Wylan can’t bring himself to look up at him, not even when he crouches down right next to him. Spiderman reaches over and grabs him by the shoulders, turning his upper body to face him. Wylan keeps his face down. 

“You… you could have died . You made me let you go home alone, just so I wouldn’t find out who you are and be disappointed ? Are you fucking kidding me, Apex?” Spiderman reached a hand and pulled at his masked chin, yanking it up gently to meet his face. Wylan forgot sometimes that it was just a mask, that he was wearing one too. It was almost like that was Spiderman’s face, and like his own masked face was his real one. 

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to see how absolutely insane that thought process is and promise to never do it again. I understand wanting to keep your identity a secret, but almost dying in the process is just not fucking worth it.”

“You and I both know I can’t promise that,” Wylan says sadly, pulling his face away from Spiderman’s hold. He’s gotten too close, too attached. They cared about each other too much now, and it was going to hurt them in the end, he just knew it. 

“Then maybe we shouldn’t work together anymore, not if you’re not going to trust me,” Spiderman stood up and stepped back, and Wylan looked back over the city. He knew it was going to happen, that it would end this way. He knew it, but it didn’t stop him from being sad about it. 

“Could you at least bring me down from here before you never want to talk to me again?” Wylan asks, standing up slowly to his feet. He doesn’t want to deal with busting inside and taking an elevator or all those stairs. He’s too tired of it all. Of being. 

“You’re not even going to fight with me about it? That’s it? You’re not even going to dispute the fact that I said you don’t trust me?”

Wylan said nothing, just pointedly looking out and down from the building they’re standing on. He just wanted to get down and go home and sulk by himself. There was no point in fighting him about it, Wylan knew he wasn’t special enough to fight for like that. 

Spiderman just sighs and says nothing in return, instead just grabbing him around the waist one last time and swinging them down from the tall skyscraper. He drops him off on an apartment building and swings away without looking back, without another word. Wylan watches him go, feeling the beginnings of tears beading up beneath his mask. Of course he would ruin one of his best friendships. Other than the other crows, Spiderman had been his only friend, and he had enjoyed their time working together. 

It was his own fault, in the end, that it had ended. He was too insecure, too stupid to see a good thing when it hit him in the face. Spiderman wouldn’t care about who he was, because he didn’t care about him like that. There was nothing to be disappointed about, because Wylan was just a work partner, someone to fight alongside and nothing more. 

And now they weren’t even that. Because Wylan had ruined it all. 

He ruins everything.

~💥🕸️💥~

Wylan wakes up Saturday morning to a few text messages from the crows’ groupchat. 

Inej: slat at noon for homework?

Nina: matty and i will be there

Kaz: yes

Jesper: *groans* 

Jesper: yea

Wylan groans too, feeling a bit too emotionally exhausted to think about hanging out with his friends in a public space. But, he also misses having the ease of their conversations and banter. He needs something good in his life, after his fallout with Spiderman. It was affecting him more than he had hoped, and he really just wanted to go and drink too much coffee and watch Jesper smile at him and look at the cute gap between his front teeth as he laughs. 

So, Wylan confirms his attendance before realizing it's already 11:30, and shoots out of bed. His mother must have let him sleep in, and while he’s grateful for it, he still enjoys having the mornings to do whatever he likes on the weekends.

He wears a shirt from his favorite band and an earth-toned flannel over it, paired with more jeans and his favorite converse, which had beads the colors of the gay flag strung on the laces. He remembered when he had put them on for the first time last year, and had smiled when the next day, Jesper had shown up with his own converse on, the colors of the bisexual flag beaded onto his own laces. 

He kisses his mother on the cheek on his way out, backpack strung over his shoulder. It’s a quick walk to the cafe they enjoy going to, a queer-owned small shop called The Slat. Kaz had only allowed them to start regularly meeting there after he had done a deep-dive on the place and its owners and had given it a passing score. If Kaz was going to be spending his money somewhere, it better be legitimate and good enough for him and his friends. Apparently, The Slat was. 

Sliding into a chair next to Jesper, Wylan lets out a huff, pulling his backpack around and into his lap. Jesper looks over at him, a smile pulling on his lips. Jesper looks tired, dark bags dragging under his eyes. Wylan can’t imagine he looks much better, but he has no idea what may have happened to make Jesper lose so much sleep. 

“Morning, Sunshine, I missed you,” Jesper mumbles, not taking his eyes off of Wylan.

“One, it’s past noon, and, two, you saw me yesterday at school,” Wylan mumbles back, not able to fight a small smile from crossing his own face. He pulls his headphones from his backpack as Jesper laughs and nods begrudgingly, placing them around his neck but not actually putting them on. It’s still pretty quiet inside, but he knows it’ll probably get busy later and he doesn’t want to deal with the overstimulation. 

The other four of their friend group arrive shortly after, all spreading out over the long table they usually occupy. Bags and laptops and books and papers soon follow, along with mugs of coffee and little pastries, all crowding the tabletop haphazardly. Wylan enjoys it, seeing how he and his friends can just coexist together, not needing to do anything grand or exciting to prove their friendship. Doing homework like this, with quiet conversation and the shuffling of bodies in chairs, is enough for them. 

Even Jesper is working on homework. He’s told Wylan before that meeting up with people and mirroring them always helps him be more productive. Seeing others busy like this, it keeps him focused and on track. Wylan, at the time, had just nodded and shared his own thoughts as well, sharing how that kind of parallel play, being around others but doing his own thing, was always helpful for him, too. 

It’s why they did homework together so often, even if they did drift onto other things often enough. 

But today was mostly homework, as it seemed all of them just wanted to get it done and have the rest of the weekend to do what they wanted. Wylan couldn’t complain, he always felt better after knowing everything he had to do was completed. 

Wylan slipped his hand into Jesper’s two hours into their homework session after realizing how fidgety the taller boy had gotten. He had a harder time sitting in one place for hours on end, but was doing his best to not be disturbing, instead just bouncing his knees and picking at a thread on his hoodie. So, Wylan disrupted it gently, replacing Jesper’s hoodie with his own hand. Jesper just looked up at him for a few moments before visibly relaxing and starting to fidget with Wylan’s hand like he always likes to. 

Wylan returns to his chemistry homework, letting the soft drag of Jesper’s fingers on his palm soothe him. He can barely hear the clinking of his bracelets being shuffled around, or how Jesper repeatedly shifts a ring off of his finger and onto Wylan’s and back again. 

While Wylan knows that Jesper could never love him the way Wylan loves him, he never takes advantage of these touches, of his friendly affection. Jesper may just see it as a casual thing, something his friend does for him when he’s getting just a bit too understimulated from sitting for so long, but Wylan doesn’t care. It’s everything to Wylan, to know that Jesper enjoys it and accepts it every time, that he isn’t being rejected in that way. 

So, even if Wylan can’t have everything he wants, this is good enough. It has to be. 

Wylan listens to the police scanner over his headphones on the walk back home that afternoon. He dips into an alley as the chatter picks up, tapping at his tablet. There’s a semi-truck that seemingly can’t brake or slow down, only a few blocks away. He inhales sharply as he hears the scanner explain that Spiderman’s on the scene, doing his best to stop it. Wylan dips back out to continue walking home, knowing that his assistance probably won’t be needed if Spiderman is already there. He keeps listening, however, if only to hear how Spiderman is doing. 

They may not be partners anymore, or friends, but he didn’t stop caring about the man. So, when he hears a frantic voice saying how the semi-truck has fallen over, and onto Spiderman, he starts running. He wore his suit under his clothes, but didn't have his utility belt, or his pants, or his shoes. Instead, he just climbs onto the roof next to him, depositing his bag and overclothes into a vent, sliding the grate back over it. He pulls on his mask last, quickly reconnecting to the police scanner before running again. 

Spiderman can’t get up, he’s stuck. Wylan sees as much as he comes upon the scene, seeing the giant white semi-truck on its side, spread across the entire width of the street.

He can see Spiderman sticking out from under it, and luckily his arms are free. Wylan jumps down from the roof, cracking the pavement when he lands. He doesn’t even give it a second glance as he sprints over to where Spiderman is trying to pull himself from under the truck, his hands yanking on webbing that he’s shot out, trying to use it as leverage. It’s not working.

“Fuck,” Wylan hears as he finally reaches him. Spiderman hasn’t been able to move an inch and Wylan wonders what could possibly be in the truck to make it so heavy. 

“ Fuck , indeed,” Wylan responds, and Spiderman startles a bit, not having noticed him, probably from the pain of being actively crushed. Wylan doesn’t wait for him to respond before grasping the edge of the truck next to where Spiderman is lying, flexing his fingers once. “Will you be able to pull yourself out once I get it high enough?”

“Y-yeah,” Spiderman nods, readjusting his grasp on his webs, preparing to pull himself out. 

“Okay, okay,” Wylan mumbles to himself, starting to pull up on the truck. He can feel it, can feel some of the weight of it. It’s unusual for him, most things are practically weightless, but this truck has a bit of weight to it. No wonder Spiderman couldn’t get out by himself. He ignores Spiderman’s cries as the weight shifts from his chest and legs, instead just pulling up harder to make sure his feet can be freed. 

Luckily, Spiderman is able to pull on his webs, successfully pulling his body and legs out from under the truck. Wylan lets the truck drop back down, not caring to lower it gently. He’s too worried, immediately dropping down to help Spiderman stand. 

“You’re not wearing your pants,” is the first thing Spiderman says once his arm is looped over Wylan’s shoulder, and Wylan can’t help but laugh. They look more similar now, in just head-to-toe spandex suits. Wylan doesn’t know how the man walks around like this, without shoes on his feet. Wylan feels like he can feel every pebble under his toes.

“Didn’t have time, heard over the scanner that you were being crushed. Ran over as soon as I could,” Wylan shakes his head, half-carrying Spiderman away from the middle of the road and into a quiet alley. He props the man up against the wall, letting him lean against it. He starts to back away, but has to jump forward again with a steadying hand when Spiderman starts to buckle. “Shit,” he mumbles, pulling Spiderman further into the alley before climbing the wall. He half-pulls the man onto his back, looping his arms around his shoulders. Spiderman tightens his hold, and Wylan starts climbing, going slower than he would usually care to. 

It’s hard to listen to, hearing the pained groans Spiderman lets out over his shoulder as they climb. Wylan doesn’t bother apologizing, instead just focuses on getting to the roof without falling or dropping him. He finally settles them up against the raised edge of the roof, letting his head fall back and thud against the hard concrete behind him. 

“Thanks for coming… and saving me,” Spiderman says quietly, hands wrapped around his middle. His legs are spread out in front of him, his shoulder almost pressed up against Wylan’s.

“Of course. I know you don’t want to see me anymore… but I couldn’t let you just get crushed like that,” Wylan responds, looking down at his hands lying in his lap. He should get up, he should go, because Spiderman doesn’t want to see him, or talk to him. He should just go before he makes things worse. He goes to stand, but before he can even get his feet under himself, a hand is shooting out, pressing against his chest lightly. 

He looks over at Spiderman, sitting back down next to him. He’s accidentally shifted closer, and it presses their shoulders together. He tries not to think about it. 

“Please. Don’t leave me just yet,” Spiderman asks, his voice small. He sounds scared. 

“Okay. Okay. I won’t go, not until you want me to.”

So, they sit together in silence for a while, before Spiderman breaks it again. Wylan isn’t sure why, if he just can’t handle the quiet or if he’s trying to distract himself from the pain. Maybe it’s both.

“I’m sorry, for what I said before. It’s not that I think you don’t trust me, or whatever. I was just really worried, fuck , I was terrified. I thought you’d never come back,” Spiderman says, his chest moving as he tries to drag in breaths. Wylan hums gently next to him, not looking at him. 

“I… it’s just that you’re so cool, and amazing, and such a good hero. I just know you’ll be disappointed if you learn who I am. I’m none of those things, not even close. I’m sorry for scaring you, though,” Wylan drags his hands over his masked head, letting them dip to his neck before dragging them back over his head and resting his face in them. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to keep his breath even. He isn’t good with feelings, having never really been given the space while growing up to figure them all out. He had always been screamed at to be quiet, to take up as little space as possible. He had been getting better about it, but it was hard, so so hard. 

But Spiderman wasn’t like that, he was loud and exuberant and took up as much space as he wanted to. Wylan wanted to be like that one day, and being Apex felt like one step closer to it. 

“I don’t know why you think that of me, or that I’m cool or amazing or whatever. I’m nothing special. I’m a disappointment to the people in my life, and I guess, I guess I use Spiderman to make myself feel better about it? To feel useful, maybe. I don’t know.”

“No. I get it. Trust me, I get it,” Wylan takes his head out of his hands, finally looking over at the hero next to him, just to see that Spiderman’s already staring back at him. He pulls his knees up into his chest, wrapping his arms around them and resting his face gently on them, still looking over at Spiderman. “It’s hard, living two lives. Sometimes I wish I never did it at all.”

“Never did what? Become a hero? Or never have touched that meteorite?”

“Both, I guess. I chose to be Apex, but I didn’t really choose to get these powers. But I do wonder what my life would have been like if it never happened. I think it would have been boring, just hanging out with friends and going to school and sitting in my room. I don’t understand how I did that for so many years before doing this.”

Spiderman hums and nods, looking back out across the roof they’re sitting on. Wylan mirrors him. They sit in silence for a few more beats, just listening to the sounds of traffic and people below them. 

“Look. I’m still a bit upset at you for that shit you pulled after the lizard guy. But,” Spiderman looks at him again, and Wylan turns his head to meet his masked gaze. “But, I don’t not want to see you anymore. I want to go back to how it was before, teaming up and hanging out like that. I know it won’t be the same, but I miss you too much to just let it all go.”

Wylan sucks in a breath, noting the utter seriousness in his slightly-metallic voice. Usually Spiderman is all jokes and jibes, but not now. Not after they had both almost died. It was too important to joke about anymore. 

“I like working with you, too,” is all Wylan says in response, really not knowing what else to say. But, apparently it’s enough, because then Spiderman is huffing out a laugh and bumping his shoulder with his own. 

Then they’re standing, and Wylan watches him in case his legs give out again. 

“I’m good. I’m just gonna go home now, I think,” Spiderman forces a chuckle, stepping back from Wylan. He just nods, remembering that he needs to go back and get his clothes and bag from the vent by The Slat. 

“Alright. Let me know when you get home, then. See you around, Spiderman,” Wylan gives a short wave, only waiting for him to nod back in agreement before turning around and jogging the rooftops back to his stash spot. 

Maybe things would turn out okay after all. He could only hope. 

~💥🕸️💥~

Wylan trudged up the stairs, making his way to the fourth floor where Jesper’s apartment was. His father answered the door, smiling down at him. 

“Hey, Wylan. Jesper’s just run down to the corner store for me, he’ll be back in a bit. Feel free to head to his room, if you want,” Colm opens the door wider, and Wylan nods at him.

“Thanks, Mr.-- Colm. I’ll wait for him there, then,” Wylan stutters, face blushing in embarrassment. Colm just smiled at him again, closing the door behind him. Wylan takes the familiar route down the hall to Jesper’s bedroom, opening the door and closing it over behind him. It had been a few weeks since he had reconciled his relationship with Spiderman, and things had gotten mostly back to normal. 

Dropping his backpack next to Jesper’s messy desk, Wylan plops into the chair, making sure to not put enough force into it to actually break it. He’s done it far too many times to count, and he didn’t want to raise suspicion with Jesper and his dad about how a chair got broken. 

The desk was situated in the corner, with a tall bookshelf sat next to it, the small window of his bedroom on the other side of it. It blocked Wylan from the window mostly, leaving him unable to see outside unless he was leaning far back in the chair. 

He fusses around with the state of Jesper’s desk, piling the messes into little mountains against the edge where it bumped into the wall, as he knew Jesper didn’t like it when other people moved his things too much. He always said he knew exactly where everything was, like organized chaos. It was when things were put away and tidied, that he would have no idea where to find things, and it drove him to the brink of panic. So, Wylan never cleaned up after him, instead he just made space on the desktop, enough to pull out his sketchbook and pencils. 

He sketched for a while as he waited for Jesper to return, knowing it may be a while, as Jesper was one to get distracted easily, especially on the busy streets of New York. So, Wylan waited. 

It wasn’t much longer before he finally heard a noise, but instead of it being the front door, it was Jesper’s window . Wylan looked up as he heard it open, and his eyes widened as a figure climbed onto Jesper’s ceiling, crawling along it. 

It was fucking Spiderman. The Spiderman he had been working with for over half a year at that point, in Jesper’s room, hanging from his ceiling like Wylan’s seen him so many times before on various buildings. 

Then, still not seeing him, Spiderman let himself hang from the ceiling by one hand, before dropping down onto his feet, almost entirely silent, still facing away from Wylan. Wylan could barely hear it himself, and he could hear almost anything these days. 

It still didn’t connect in Wylan’s brain until Spiderman reached up with a hand and pulled off his mask with one swift movement. Suddenly, Wylan could see the back of Jesper’s head, his coiled hair still slightly squashed from being under the mask. He knew intrinsically that it was Jesper, as he had always stared at Jesper more than what was probably considered normal. 

He must have finally made a noise, because then Jesper was turning to face him, their eyes both wide at the appearance of the other. If Wylan wasn’t so sure-footed, he knew he would have fallen out of his chair at that point. 

“You’re–” Wylan started, face red. Jesper sprung forward then, placing a still-spandexed hand over his mouth. Wylan was just glad then that he hadn’t decided to cover his mouth in a web, as Spiderman had a tendency to do that with particularly chatty villains. 

“Wylan, don’t freak out. Please, don’t scream,” Jesper whispered hurriedly, not taking his hand from Wylan’s mouth yet. Wylan wasn’t planning on screaming, but then it hit him all over again that Jesper didn’t know that he was Apex. It then also became known to Wylan that he had been in love with Jesper for years and had been low-key crushing on Spiderman for months, and the whole time, it had been the same person. He wanted to laugh. 

Instead, Wylan just stared at him, and Jesper tried to gauge whether or not Wylan was about to have a panic attack. 

“I’m going to take my hand back now, promise not to scream?” Jesper whispered again, because he knew his father was in the apartment and he hadn’t walked through the front door, he wasn’t supposed to be home yet. 

Wylan nodded, the flush on his face not leaving it in the slightest. Jesper breathed out an okay , before he stepped back, his hand dropping from Wylan’s mouth. 

“You’re Spiderman.” It wasn’t a question. Wylan kept his voice low, a bit incredulous. He wasn’t sure how Jesper would react to finding out he was Apex, and he suddenly became worried that Jesper would become disappointed. Spiderman and Apex were close, as close as identity-hidden superheroes could be. Spiderman seemed to like Apex, but Wylan wasn’t sure Jesper would like him, not after finding out who he really was after all this time. 

“Uh. Yes. You don’t seem freaked out, why are you not freaking out?” Jesper rushed out, closer to panic than Wylan was. 

This time, Wylan did laugh. Just one laugh, breathy and paired with a shake of his head. 

“What?” Jesper’s eyes were still wide with panic, and Wylan hated seeing it on his face. Jesper didn’t have to worry, shouldn’t worry about him. 

Instead of answering, Wylan just took the few steps past Jesper towards his bed, Jesper turning on his heel to follow him across the room. Leaning down with one hand, Wylan grasped the edge of Jesper’s metal bed frame. Without any strain, Wylan stood back up to his full height, lifting the entire bed off of the floor with him. He let it hang in the air for a few moments before lowering it back down to the carpet, so gently that it barely made any noise when it came in contact with the floor. 

Wylan hadn’t broken eye contact with Jesper the entire time, watching as Jesper’s eyes grew somehow wider before the realization hit him. His mouth fell open as he watched Wylan lower his bed back down, his hand coming up to point between Wylan and the bed. 

“You’re… you’re Apex? This whole time?” Jesper was still pointing at him, before he realized he still had the majority of his suit on and dropped his hand back to his side. Like it would keep Wylan from noticing it after all this time already in Jesper’s room. 

“Uh. Yes,” Wylan wrung his hands together in front of him, unsure what to make of Jesper’s reaction. Would he be angry at him? Disappointed? Would he demand they stop being work partners, stop being friends?

“We’re such idiots,” and then Jesper was laughing, still quiet in case his father overheard. Then Wylan was laughing too, the tension broken and now he could accept how hilarious the situation was. 

“I had no idea it was you until you crawled through the window,” Wylan shook his head again, stepping closer to Jesper. Jesper’s hands came up to his own head, holding it between them, like he couldn’t stop the room from spinning. 

“After that fight, with the lizard guy,” Jesper was saying, and Wylan winced at the memory of it, how painful those slashes had been on him. “You were hurt at school the next day, and for a second, I thought, maybe , but then I told myself it couldn’t possibly be you.”

“Why not?” Wylan narrowed his eyes slightly, why wasn’t he good enough to be Apex? Maybe he was a disappointment after all. It’s not like he really thought any differently of himself anyways. 

“You’re so… shy, when it's you. Apex isn’t really shy, he’s snarky and, I don’t know, annoying sometimes. You’ve always been shy and you fluster too easily.”

“Oh. Well, I was like that, before , you know?”

“Before touching a radioactive meteorite, yes,” Jesper filled in, remembering their conversation about how they gained their powers. 

“Yeah. So, when I realized I had powers and everything else, I hid it. I’ve been faking it at school and with you guys, I didn’t want to raise suspicion,” Wylan curled into himself a bit, wrapping his arms around his middle. He hated that he had been lying to them, but then again, Jesper had been lying, too. “And, with Apex, I get to be someone else, you know? I get to be whoever I want and no one knows that it’s me.”

“Yeah. I get it.”

“So, are you… disappointed? That it’s me?” Wylan looked away, not able to muster up the courage to look at Jesper’s face.  

“Disappointed? That you’re Apex? Why would I be disappointed about that?” Jesper tilted his head slightly, trying to figure out what was running through Wylan’s head. “I can’t believe this whole time, Apex was so worried when it was you under that suit.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Wylan couldn’t help it when his voice got just a bit too loud, and smacked his lips closed as soon as the words left his mouth. Jesper only sighed, holding up a hand before rifling around his dresser for clothing. He changes quickly, and Wylan could see the fading mottled bruising around his chest and abdomen from his time being crushed under a semi-truck. Wylan winces at the look of them, but Jesper doesn’t say anything, only sparing a glance to his closed door before gesturing Wylan back out his open window.

They climb up to the roof in silence, and Wylan stays standing on the roof’s edge. Jesper is standing on the roof proper, watching as he starts to pace back and forth. 

“Wylan. Why did you think I’d be disappointed? Why did you think Spiderman would be disappointed?” Jesper asked softly, his eyes tracking Wylan as he started to rake his fingers through his messy curls. 

Wylan just can’t believe it, the guy he’d been working with for months, was the same person he’d been in love with for years and years. He didn’t know what to make of it. It was confusing and clarifying and soothing and filled him with anxiety all at the same time. He was spiraling, and didn’t know what to do, so he talked. And talked. 

“Don’t you get it?” Wylan turns to face him abruptly, and Jesper freezes in place, fingers fidgeting next to his sides. “Jesper. I’m in love with you . And I think I’m in love with Spiderman a little bit, too,” he laughs, shaking his head. His brain doesn’t process Jesper’s shocked expression. “And I know you don’t feel the same, and that’s okay. But–”

“What? Who told you that I don’t feel the same?” And suddenly Jesper is right in front of him, his hands reaching out to grab Wylan’s. He allows it, too shocked at his words to think of what to do. Standing on the ledge, Wylan is several inches taller than Jesper, so he steps up onto the ledge, too, and then the two of them are standing there, hands held between their bodies, eyes wide as they stare at each other. 

“What?”

“Who told you that I don’t feel the same way?” Jesper repeats, patient but a bit insistent. Wylan’s mouth just gapes, no words coming out. He wants to scream, he wants to jump for joy, he wants to cry. He wants to rip his hair out. It’s all too much, it’s not enough. He grips Jesper’s hands a bit tighter, trying to ground himself on something before he combusts. 

“You… what?”

Jesper just laughs a little, shaking his head. 

“Wylan. I’ve been in love with you since like freshman year. I… I thought you only liked me as a friend, so I never did anything about it,” Jesper’s voice drifts off at the end, becoming a bit self conscious at his own words. Wylan notices the redness on his cheeks, and pulls his hands from Jesper’s to reach up and cup his face between them. It forces Jesper to look back up at him, their eyes meeting. Jesper looks scared, and Wylan hates that it was him who made him that way. 

Jesper’s hands come up to grasp at his waist gently, like he isn’t sure Wylan will want it. Instead of responding, Wylan just steps closer to him. Jesper opens his mouth to say something else, but Wylan doesn’t give him a chance to, leaning forward abruptly to press their lips together. 

Seemingly shocked, Jesper takes a few moments to respond, but soon he’s kissing Wylan back, tightening his grip around his waist and pulling him closer until their hips bump into each other. Wylan slings his arms over Jesper’s shoulders, letting one of his hands brush against the tight curls at the nape of his neck. It forces a quiet gasp from Jesper’s mouth, and Wylan laughs lightly, pressing his tongue into his mouth and deepening their kiss. 

It could have been seconds or minutes, Wylan had no idea, but then they were pulling apart for air, their foreheads pressing together between them. 

“Go get yourself inside through the front door so we don’t have to whisper back in your room,” Wylan whispers into his mouth, and Jesper laughs, pulling back reluctantly. They part, and Wylan climbs back down to slip back through Jesper’s window, laying back on his bed with a sigh. He can’t stop smiling like an idiot, and doesn’t try to hide it. This is his happiness, and he gets to have it.

He can hear Jesper at the front door, his voice carrying through the apartment as he greets his father and makes his way back to his bedroom. Jesper slips quietly back into his room, closing the door behind him.

“Come over here,” Wylan says, reaching out a hand towards him from where he had sat up from the bed. Smirking, Jesper sauntered to him, before suddenly he was crouching down slightly and tackling him back onto the bed. Wylan fell back with an oomph , giggling as Jesper crawled on top of him, dropping down with his full weight. Now that he knew who Wylan was, he knew he could take the weight of Jesper’s body without issue.

“Hi,” Jesper said into his neck as they curled up together, Wylan’s arms coming to wrap around him. He was still a bit unsure, but Jesper seemed comfortable and confident, so Wylan allowed himself to relax into the feeling of Jesper’s arms around his back. He hummed lightly as Jesper’s hand came up to card through his curls, his fingertips blunt against his scalp.

“Hi,” Wylan responded, breathing him in. Now that he didn’t have to hide his staring as much, he stared. He looked at the curve of Jesper’s back, the length of his legs. He couldn’t see his face as it was currently pressed up against his neck, Jesper placing soft kisses there. 

Suddenly, Jesper was jerking back, propping himself up on an elbow to look down at him. Wylan looked up at him, eyebrows scrunching down in confusion. 

“How are you? From that lizard guy? You wouldn’t let me ask last time we met up,” Jesper was looking down at his side, where he remembered seeing the long slashes against Wylan’s ribs. Sighing, Wylan reached down with a hand, tugging his sweater up his chest to show off the freshly-healed pink scars to Jesper. 

They didn’t hurt much anymore, other than a slight sore tugging that occurred sometimes when he twisted a certain way. Jesper wouldn’t look away from the long lines, his hand just coming up to hover over them, not yet touching. 

With a glance up, Jesper was looking into his eyes again, seemingly for permission. Wylan gave him a nod, gasping slightly as Jesper’s hand came down to brush against the scars oh so gently. He was running his hand down their length, feeling the raised skin there. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” Jesper breathed out, shaking his head and resting his hand on Wylan’s hip. Wylan let the sweater fall back down, covering them again. 

“Why? It was my fault I got hit anyways. I was distracted by the giant fucking tail, I wasn’t looking for him to swipe me like that,” Wylan tugged on Jesper’s shoulder, urging him to lie back down with him. Relenting, Jesper shifted, wrapping his arm around Wylan’s middle. Wylan leaned into his chest, allowing them to breathe in the quiet of his bedroom for a few moments.

“Still, I should have done better to make sure you didn’t get hurt,” Jesper whispered sadly into his hair. Wylan just hummed at him, running his fingers over Jesper’s arm, relishing in the way goosebumps prickled on his skin. He knew he was sensitive to touch and other stimuli from both his ADHD and the Spiderman powers, but Jesper didn’t seem to hate the touch. 

“It’s already done, and I’m fine now. No need to dwell on it anymore,” Wylan concluded, hopefully ending that conversation. It was weeks ago, and there was nothing either of them could have done to change anything about it now. 

“Wylan, what are we going to do?” Jesper whispered again, and Wylan sighed. 

“About what? About us? Or about Spiderman and Apex?” It was easier, for Wylan at least, to keep the entities separate. Yes, he was Apex, but really, Wylan and Apex were very different people. Like how Jesper and Spiderman were different people. 

“Both. I want to be with you, as much as you’ll have me.”

“I want you. If you want me, too. I want to call you my boyfriend and be able to kiss you in the hallway and hold hands at lunch,” Wylan was rambling now, he knew it, but the hope that his fantasies and dreams could finally come true had him bubbling with anxious energy. 

“I want all of that, too. I want all of it.” Jesper was leaning back over him again, less concern on his face. He had a look of want in his eyes, and Wylan blinked up at him as he realized it. Reaching up a hand to cup the back of his neck, Wylan pulled Jesper down into a sweet kiss, loving the way Jesper’s soft lips pressed into his, his tongue brushing against his lower lip. 

“But you’re worried about how we’ll work together, now that we know who each other are,” Wylan finished for him when they finally pulled apart, his hand coming down to cup Jesper’s cheek, his thumb brushing back and forth across his cheekbone. 

“Yeah,” Jesper breathed, his eyes still closed. 

“We’ll figure it out. We fight like we normally do. We already work well together, it’ll be okay,” Wylan reassured, somehow feeling relatively calm about it all. It wasn’t like him, usually he was one to fret and panic over things, but somehow, knowing Jesper was Spiderman, and how capable he was, soothed Wylan. 

“You’re right,” Jesper finally opened his eyes again, the gray stark in the slanted light of his bedroom. 

“I usually am,” Wylan giggles below him, shrieking as Jesper bends back down to attack him with kisses while tickling his sides. With Wylan’s shrieks not allowing him to kiss back, Jesper starts to kiss at his neck, pressing kisses to the pale skin there, but not hard enough to make any marks.

Apparently, Wylan’s shrieks are loud enough to capture Colm’s attention, because soon the man is at Jesper’s door, knocking once before opening it. Even though the two teenagers have enhanced reflexes and speed, they’re too caught up in their own joy to do anything about it. Jesper’s barely even lifted off of his neck when Colm spots them on Jesper’s bed, his hand still on the door. 

“Um. When did this become a thing?” Colm asks gently, a smile tugging at his lips. Jesper groans lightly, pulling away from Wylan and sitting up, a light blush crossing his cheeks. 

“It’s a… recent development,” Jesper mumbles, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck nervously. Wylan is frozen in his spot lying against Jesper’s pillows, his cheeks flushed red from both Jesper’s recent tickling and the fact that they’ve just been found out by Jesper’s father. 

“Okay, well. I’m happy for you both, but this door stays open from this point on,” Colm just winks and leaves again, leaving the door ajar. Jesper groans again before collapsing back onto the mattress, his shoulder bumping into Wylan’s as he lands. 

“Well that could have been worse,” Wylan provides, rolling onto his side to face Jesper. Jesper rolls to meet him, and then they’re both just lying there, staring at each other, only a few inches apart. 

“Yeah,” Jesper breathed out, his eyes flickering between Wylan’s own and his mouth. “ Fuck , you’re so pretty.”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

He does.