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Sunoo exhales, smoke clouding his vision. He closes his eyes and tips his head back, the cigarette isn’t helping relieve the progressing headache he’s been feeling all morning. His head whips to the side when he hears a ‘tsk’ of unmasked annoyance.
Sunghoon begrudgingly leans against the wall, keeping an acceptable (based on his standards) distance between them. He places an unlit cigarette between his lips and pats his pockets for his lighter. But as luck would have it, it’s nowhere to be found.
Sunoo presses the butt of his own cigarette against the wall before throwing it in the trash. Noticing Sunghoon’s struggle, Sunoo walks over to him without a single word and flicks his lighter open. Sunghoon stares at the display, then inhales as the end of his cigarette kisses the tiny flame.
Before Sunghoon could even mutter a word of thanks, Sunoo’s already gone, and all he’s left with is a lit cigarette and a cold shoulder.
Sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s surprised, and even the least bit affected by Sunoo’s actions tonight; but he is. He shouldn’t be, when he’s the one who rejected Sunoo harshly after his confession only a week prior to today.
“Fuck,” he curses under his breath. He crushes his half-burnt cigarette under the sole of his boot after begrudgingly throwing it on the dirty pavement.
When he returns to their reserved table inside the bar, Jake snorts at his appearance.
“What’s got you so pissy in such a short amount of time?”
Sunghoon ungracefully plops down the leather couch, inked arms on full display against the backrest. He notices one person missing from their group, and Jake quickly picks up on Sunghoon’s consciousness.
“Some guy pulled him into the dancefloor. A friend, he said, but he looked and acted like an ex,” Jake says, smirking behind his glass of whiskey.
Sunghoon raises an eyebrow. “Did I ask?”
Jake shrugs, then replies knowingly, “You didn’t have to.”
“Did Sunoo really confess to you that night?” Heeseung pipes up from beside Jake.
Sunghoon freezes, staring at Heeseung with wide eyes. “How—”
“He told us he was going to. Said it was either he would get rejected or he’d explode from trying to suppress his feelings. Sunoo looked mad frustrated when he told us.” He rests his chin on Jake’s shoulder and looks at Sunghoon with a bored expression on his face. “So, did he?”
“Why ask if you already know? And what would you have done if it turned out that he didn’t confess? Dumbass.”
Heeseung cackles alongside Jake.
“If our group turns into a trio, I’m blaming you, by the way,” Jake jokingly sulks.
“As if. Do you think Sun’s that fragile to let a simple unrequited love g—”
“What?!” Heeseung cries at the same time Jake screams, “‘Love’?!”
“Stop acting shocked! You said he told you!”
“Yeah! But he only said he likes you, not love. What the fuck?” Heeseung reasons, seemingly going into a state of crisis.
“Oh, my god,” Jake mutters, eyes glazed over as he stares into nothing, “we’re really only going to be a trio now… Fuck, how will we survive with only Sunghoon?” He cages Heeseung’s face with his hands. “Babe, we can’t let Sunoo leave. I’d rather have Sunghoon out of the gr—Ouch!”
“Where’s your loyalty?” Sunghoon glares at the two. “And will you stop being dramatic? No one’s—”
Sunoo returns to their table and grabs his things.
“Where are you going?” Sunghoon asks a little too harshly.
Heeseung and Jake watch the scene with bated breath.
Sunoo almost flinches. ‘I can’t be in the same place as you right now because it hurts,’ he doesn’t say. Instead, he replies with an icy, “Where I can’t see you,” before turning around and leaving.
Jake’s phone pings.
“Uh, Sunghoon?”
“What?” He whips his head to see Heeseung and Jake’s worried expressions.
Seconds later, he’s shown Sunoo’s latest text message to Jake.
Sunoo [12:57 A.M.]: Before you ask, yes, I’m leaving with Jay. I’ll text you tomorrow morning.
🎞️
Jake’s a menace, Sunghoon thinks as he stands in front of the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the light to turn green. His best friend of sixteen years has badgered him to buy some drinks and desserts from the cafe a block away from their tattoo parlor.
As soon as he crosses the street, he sees Sunoo bubbling in laughter as another man looks at him from across the table. He isn’t wearing his white coat, nor is he in his scrub suit. He must have only finished his duty, Sunghoon concludes.
He hesitates entering the establishment, but quickly realizes how stupid he looks from the inside of the shop as he broods by the door with a scrunched up expression on his face.
Thankfully, despite the counter perfectly being in Sunoo’s line of sight, he doesn’t notice Sunghoon when he orders, nor when he chooses to idle near its claiming area instead of sitting down.
Sunoo doesn’t know that Sunghoon is simply a few steps away, at least, that’s what Sunghoon believes. Because when he’s claimed his order, stepped out onto the sidewalk, and crossed the street, that’s only when Sunoo finally allowed himself to gaze at Sunghoon without guilt weighing down on his chest.
Sunghoon arrives at the tattoo parlor more absentminded than when he left earlier. Ever the observant, Jake points it out.
“Nothing happened. Just saw Sun in the cafe earlier.” Sunghoon tries to say as nonchalantly as he can.
Jake sees right through him. He hums then takes a short sip of his drink.
“Was he with someone?”
Sunghoon furrows his eyebrows before answering an affirmative.
“We should invite him over if he’s free,” Heeseung suggests as he sits beside Jake, who, as if on instinct, rests his head on Heeseung’s shoulder.
“Don’t. He just finished his two-day shift at the hospital, he’s probably exhausted.”
The couple pauses from munching on their fries and stares at Sunghoon.
“Hey, remind me again what you replied after Sunoo’s confession?” Jake says, his mocking tone completely unmasked.
A groan erupts from Sunghoon’s throat as he rolls his eyes. This, again?, he thinks.
“I’ve known him for a long time, is it so goddamn weird that I know his schedule? And you know I used to pick him up after his shifts.” He unwraps his sandwich and accusingly points it towards the two. “Now, stop reading too much into it and just fucking eat. ”
Heeseung leans in to fake-whisper to Jake, eyes still trained on Sunghoon, “Babe, you were right; Sunoo really is the only one he isn’t mean to.”
Sunghoon abruptly rises from his seat. “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” He doesn’t say another word before grabbing his food and walking away to eat his meal by himself.
“Hey! We’re kidding! Come back, let’s eat together!”
Whatever. He’s not in love with Sunoo.
🎞️
“Hey,” Sunoo started, his back facing Sunghoon as they stood in front of Sunoo’s apartment entrance. “I’m going to tell you something, and whatever you choose to do with me after, that’s your prerogative.”
Sunghoon stared at Sunoo’s broad back, his auburn hair illuminated by the 5 A.M. blues. He was confused; usually, after taking Sunoo home from his hospital shifts, they’d go straight inside his apartment, eat whatever meal was appropriate for the hour, and Sunghoon would go home or straight to the tattoo parlor.
That day, Sunoo had other plans. Plans that Sunghoon would belatedly realize had been eating Sunoo up on the inside.
“When I say it, do you promise not to come near me? J—”
The sole of Sunghoon’s boot scratched the gravel beneath him. “What—”
“Just stay where you are right now, please.”
The desperation in Sunoo’s voice rooted Sunghoon in place.
It was only a few seconds of morning silence, but it felt like hours to Sunghoon, and milliseconds to Sunoo. If Sunghoon paid attention enough, he would have noticed the uncharacteristic tremble of Sunoo’s hand.
When Sunoo finally spoke, the entire world burned and Sunghoon couldn’t breathe.
“I love you.”
It was a truth spoken in the loudest whisper, against the unwelcoming embrace of the wind. Sunoo sounded like a knight standing at the edge of a cliff, the sword inched closely against his throat with no chance of reprieve.
It was only a few seconds of silence, but it felt like milliseconds to Sunghoon, and hours to Sunoo.
“Say something…” Sunoo pleaded, refusing to face his executioner, still.
“I—I’m sorry. I don’t think I can—”
Boots scratched the gravel, and tires skid against the runway. Sunoo fell to his knees and cried silently under the unforgiving sun.
🎞️
“You know, I don’t really get you,” Ni-ki points out as Sunghoon drills needles into the skin of his forearm. “You said Sunoo’s single and that you two have nothing going on, but you still won’t give me his number. Or set him up with me.”
“I don’t see what’s difficult to understand. I don’t want to do it, simple as that,” Sunghoon answers, eyes focused on finishing the new piece Ni-ki requested.
“Yeah, but why?”
Heeseung shows up out of nowhere and butts in. “Listen, they’re not dating, but Sunoo’s still off limits.” He juts a thumb in Sunghoon’s direction. “This guy’s still confused, but he’s getting there.”
Ni-ki makes a sound of realization. “So you like Sunoo—”
“I don’t.”
Heeseung looks at him in fake pity. “See, confused.”
Sunghoon throws a crumpled tissue paper in Heeseung’s direction.
“Don’t you have flowers to fucking arrange or something?”
Heeseung runs away laughing.
“Wanna tell me your love problems?” Ni-ki grins, eyebrows jumping up and down.
“No. And I do not have love problems. You need to stop listening to whatever comes out of Heeseung’s mouth.”
Ni-ki snorts. “Fine; whatever you say,” he says in a sing-song voice.
Sunghoon stares daggers into him.
“Damn, okay, I’ll stop. Jesus Christ, stop looking at me like that.”
🎞️
It’s 4 A.M. and Sunghoon’s outside the hospital that Sunoo works at. It’s freezing and dark and lonely. It’s been two weeks since Sunoo confessed. And it’s been two weeks since he’d been waking up at 3 A.M., like clockwork, only to force himself back to sleep because there’s no point in waking up at that time every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday when he isn’t going to drive Sunoo home.
It’s a Tuesday today; and Tuesdays are usually the only days Sunoo can leave early. Sunghoon hopes it’s still the case today.
“You sure you don’t want us to take you home?”
Sunghoon hears from a close distance. He turns, then finds Sunoo face to face with the man he was with in the cafe just a few days ago.
“No, it’s fine. I wanted to walk home today,” Sunoo answers.
“It’s still too dark right now. Won won’t—”
“Sun,” Sunghoon calls as he walks towards the two.
Sunoo flinches. He stares at Sunghoon, wide-eyed and almost in disbelief that he’s actually there .
“S-Sunghoon…”
“Let’s go home,” Sunghoon says as he hands his coat to Sunoo.
The other man furrows his eyebrows and leans toward Sunoo, “You know him?” He whispers.
Sunoo nods. “He’s my friend. Don’t worry, Jay.”
Sunghoon’s jaw tightens when he hears the name. So, that’s him , he thinks.
“Call me if anything happens. Won and I are only a call away, okay?”
When they finish saying their goodbyes and Jay has finally left, Sunoo turns around and walks away from Sunghoon, not sparing him another glance.
Sunghoon quickly catches Sunoo’s wrist. “I’ll drive you home.”
“I’m walking home today.”
“It’s too dark, it’s dangerous. And it’s cold, you’ll freeze to death, Sun.”
He tries to free himself, but Sunghoon’s grip is desperate, and Sunoo is simply a man who surrenders to love.
“Look at me, will you? You haven’t properly looked at me since two weeks ago.”
Sunoo spins on his heel. “And whose fault is that? I know I told you that it’s your decision to make whatever you want to do after I confessed, but you didn’t even tell me. You avoided me like I’m some kind of disease . I waited for you every time, like some dumb dog waiting for its owner to come home. I waited for you but—” A broken sob erupts from Sunoo’s throat, and he would have fallen to the ground had Sunghoon not caught him.
“I’m sorry,” Sunghoon whispers, warm lips kissing the shell of Sunoo’s cold ear.
“I waited for you, Hoon, but you never came. Why didn’t you tell me? I could have—I could have at least prepared myself. I–I—!”
Sunghoon hushes Sunoo tenderly, lithe fingers softly combing the hair near the nape of Sunoo’s neck.
“I’m here now, I’m sorry. Forgive me for being late, please?” Sunghoon places his hands on each side of Sunoo’s face and slowly lifts it up from where it had been buried on his chest. “Look at me, hey…”
Sunoo covers his face as he continues to sob uncontrollably. Sunghoon bites his lip, contemplating whether to push through with whatever his mind is telling him to. Eventually, he thinks fuck it , and does it.
Like a flower that blooms in spring, Sunoo’s hands uncover his beautiful and tear-stained face after Sunghoon presses two gentle kisses on the back of his hands.
“There you are,” Sunghoon whispers.
🎞️
“Sunoo!” Jake cries as he engulfs the said man in a bone-crushing hug as soon as he sets foot inside the tattoo parlor. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”
Sunoo giggles and lightly taps Jake’s back. “It’s only been three weeks since we went to the bar.”
“Yeah, but we barely talked to you then. And you weren’t responding to the group chat either,” Heeseung explains as Jake steps back and gives Sunoo his much appreciated space.
“Sorry,” Sunoo sheepishly says. “It’s been pretty hectic in the hospital, I had to stay for longer hours than usual.”
“What brings you here, by the way? Did you miss me?” Jake grins, then, in an instant, frowns playfully and leans in to whisper. “Or, are you here to finally give that meanie a piece of your mind? I’ll back you up if you wanna punch him.”
Sunoo tilts his head. “‘Meanie’? Ah! You mean Sunghoon?”
As if summoned out of thin air, Sunghoon appears beside Sunoo and wraps an arm around his slender waist.
“Didn’t know you were here already?” Sunghoon says before leaning down to place a chaste kiss on Sunoo’s lips.
“Huh?!” Jake and Heeseung scream in unison, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets.
“What the hell is happening?!” Jake exclaims.
Heeseung gets over the initial shock first, but it’s clear that he has a myriad of questions. “I’m sorry, did we skip a few chapters? Weren’t you two colder than Antarctica last week?”
“Oh, no. We’ve been dating for almost two weeks now. I thought Hoon told you guys?”
Jake and Heeseung turn towards Sunghoon with looks of betrayal on their faces.
“You traitor!”
The couple charges at Sunghoon, but he has quick reflexes and lighter feet. He grabs Sunoo by the wrist and pulls him outside to where he parked his car. The cold air is harsh in his lungs and he’s never ran as fast in so long, but it’s okay and he loves it because Sunoo’s running alongside him, bubbling with a laughter that’s so bright that the moon above is almost envious.
🎞️
“Hey, Won just texted me and said he’s finished at the daycare. Wanna eat lunch with us?” Jay asked as he and Sunoo walked towards the exit of the hospital.
Sunoo shook his head and smiled. “I’m good. Thank you for the invite, though. I have plans with my friend already, so maybe next time.”
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow!”
Sunoo fished his phone out of his pocket and was confused when he found no text message from Sunghoon. Odd, he thought, since Sunghoon always messaged when he wouldn’t be able to drive Sunoo home.
He sat on a bench at a nearby park, hugging himself as the winter air nipped at his skin and slithered its way into every crevice of his body despite being covered from head to toe.
A second turned into a minute, which turned into an hour. Still, there were no signs of Sunghoon. On the third hour of being alone in the park, Sunoo finally realized.
This was Sunghoon’s answer, and fuck, did it hurt.
A tear traitorously rolled down his reddened cheeks as he stood up from his pitiful position. As he marched down the road, his vision blurred with tears. He only hoped that he was heading in the right direction.
🎞️
“Hey, Sun,” Sunghoon greets as soon as Sunoo picks up the call. “I’m outside your apartment. I’ll take you to work today so take your time preparing. I brought you breakfast, you can eat it on the way.”
A low groan crackles from the other end of the line. “Hoon… I took a leave today. Sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand…”
When he hears Sunoo’s uncharacteristically scratchy voice, Sunghoon grows worried.
“Are you okay? You don’t sound good.”
Sunoo hums. “‘M okay. I just have a little headache.”
“Wait for me, okay? I’ll just park my car inside.”
Sunghoon hears rustling, then a loud thud, a low, garbled curse, then a panicked, “No—! I… I’m fine, Hoon, please. I don’t want to bother you.”
Sunghoon chuckles, a fond smile painting his lips. “Who said that you are?”
It doesn’t take long for Sunoo to relent after that, especially not after Sunghoon called him a baby.
When Sunghoon arrives at Sunoo’s unit, he finds him on his couch, legs hugged to his chest and phone between his ear and the backrest. Sunghoon feels himself implode at the cute sight of his boyfriend.
“Hey, Sun,” he greets again, this time in person and with a kiss to Sunoo’s forehead.
Sunoo barely opens his eyes but he’s already extending his arms and caging Sunghoon in an embrace. Sunghoon chuckles and presses two pecks onto the crook of Sunoo’s neck.
“I’m sorry you have to be here today.”
In one swift motion, Sunghoon’s sitting on the couch and Sunoo’s on his lover’s lap. Sunghoon runs his hand repeatedly on Sunoo’s back. He visibly brightens as a boyish grin, reserved only for Sunoo, erupts on his face.
“Joke’s on you, I don’t care ‘cause I love you.”
🎞️
Tucked away in the corner of the tattoo parlor are Sunghoon and Sunoo, hunched over a desk and practically glued together.
In the distance, seated on a client bed, are Heeseung and Jake. It’s a slow day for the shop, and Heeseung is only there because the flower shop is closed and he’s bored out of his mind waiting for Jake to come home.
“You know, I’ve noticed it before already, but Sunghoon’s soft edges come out more when he’s with Sunoo,” Jake comments as he observes the oblivious couple.
Heeseung nods, humming. “Even more now that they’re dating. Sometimes I still get whiplash with how quickly he changes the tone of his voice when he’s talking to us and when he’s talking to Sunoo.”
“Right?! Look at that! That’s exactly what a lovesick fool looks like.”
With the way the unsuspecting pair are sitting, only Sunghoon’s face can be seen as he sits sideways on the chair, body fully facing Sunoo. Sunghoon’s eyes crinkle at the edges, completely endeared by Sunoo.
Jake rests his head on Heeseung’s shoulder and says, “People would never expect that Sunghoon’s fallen harder than Sunoo, to be honest.”
“Nah, babe.” He takes Jake’s hand in his. “People who know Sunghoon would think that Sunoo’s more in love, while I think those who don’t know him and would only see interactions like that would think that Sunghoon’s more in love.”
Jake hums. “I guess he does look like he dotes more and initiates physical contact more; but Sunoo never looks away from Sunghoon. He’s all Sunoo sees.” He giggles.
They hear Sunoo whine about something, which pulls laughter from Sunghoon. He apologizes, though still amused, before attacking Sunoo’s face with a million kisses. Sunoo protests, but anyone who can hear how he’s bubbling with laughter and can see how he’s beaming brightly that his complaints are far from serious.
🎞️
It’s almost sundown, and if Sunghoon wanted to arrive home before dusk settled, he needed to hurry. The day hadn’t been going well: his car wouldn’t start; he had two customers cancel appointments because of a sudden change of mind in the tattoo design; the poor cashier at a local restaurant got his lunch order wrong; and most of all, as soon as he crossed the street on his way home, it started pouring . It finally calmed down to a drizzle, but why should it matter—he was drenched all over.
His pace was quicker than usual, and his frown was deeper than earlier. Suffice to say, Sunghoon was pissed. He had no patience for any more bullshit for the rest of the day, not even the tiniest inconvenience would be able to escape his wrath.
Sunghoon tapped his foot impatiently against the pavement, arms crossed on his chest, and eyes fixed on the pedestrian stop light. As soon as it turned green, he was off.
Quick, quick, quick.
Fuck.
A man, shorter than he was, was running towards the direction Sunghoon came from, and in his careless haste, he bumped into Sunghoon. The man didn’t stop, only continued jogging and bumping into other people.
Sunghoon was prepared to let the man go, as he had gotten a little far already. But something other than a paved road hit the sole of Sunghoon’s boot. He looked down and saw an identification card.
He picked it up and ran to where he was just a few seconds ago. Fuck getting home before evening fell, his day was ruined from the start anyway.
He could still see the man’s auburn hair bouncing in the near distance.
“Hey, Kim Sunoo!” Sunghoon called.
As if in slow motion, Sunoo turned around, and was crowned by the flaming twilight.
At that moment, the entire universe stood still and fell in love.