Chapter Text
OPENING SHOT: Night time. An imposing Victorian Gothic Style lodge sits resplendent under flood lights.
INTERIOR: the vampire prince of east Anglia, CHRISTOPHER HEMSWORTH, lounges on a red velvet divan. His hair is very long, blond and shining in the lamplight. It’s caught back in a pony tail but a few strands have artfully come loose to frame his handsome face and blue eyes.
Janelle (Interviewer): I - We would like to thank you, your Highness, for giving us the opportunity to speak with you.
The Prince: Not at all. I believe it is past time to dispel the damaging superstitions that have kept our people apart for centuries. And please – [he smiles. It is dazzling] Call me Christopher.
Janelle: Oh, ah, ha ha, thank you, Christopher. [desperately trying to stay cool and professional in the face of such overwhelming beauty]
Janelle: Before we start, is there anything, any subject you would rather we didn’t touch? I’m not quite sure of the etiquette here.
The Prince: Ask me anything. I will let you know if I don’t wish to answer.
Janelle: Thank you. Okay. First, how long have you been the Prince in East Anglia, and how did you come to the position?
The Prince: I have reigned here for one hundred and twenty-two years. I... won the title from the previous Prince.
Janelle: ‘Won’?
The Prince: We fought. [another dazzling smile] I was stronger.
Janelle: Of course... [she is staring at the Prince, who is smiling at her in gentle amusement]
Izzy (Cameraman) : [voice from off-camera] Janelle. Psst. Janelle!
Janelle: [snapping back, flustered] Oh, I’m so sorry! Where was I...? [consults clipboard]
Janelle: And what do you do, as Prince? I understand there’s a Queen you answer to?
The Prince: My role as Prince is much the same as a human with the title. I take responsibility for my subjects, and what happens within my realm. I advise, I guide, and along with the other Princes, provide counsel to our Queen if she requests it. It is not easy, but I willingly accept the burden.
Janelle: Wow. [shakes herself] I suspect you’re a bit more hands-on than any of our Princes have been for a while.
The Prince: [smiling] Possibly. We have watched the evolution of Human politics with great interest.
Janelle: Not much is known in the Human world about vampires – indeed, many people have denied your existence for years -
The Prince: [nods and affects a more sombre expression]
Janelle: - but now that you’re ‘out’, so to speak, as a race, just how open are you going to be?
The Prince: An interesting question, Janelle, thank you. As you know the ‘outing’ of my kind happened by accident only recently, but it’s something that we have fiercely debated amongst ourselves for centuries. On the one hand, do we stay quiet and hidden, and risk a terrible backlash, a potential genocide, if we’re discovered? On the other, do we reveal ourselves and prove that at heart, we’re not all that different from you? That we can live in harmony for the benefit of both our peo –
[The door bursts open and a young man bounds in. He is smiling broadly, and dressed casually. He seems to be made up mostly of long limbs, blond curls and enthusiasm]
Young Man: Chris! I’ve just heard the most amazing – [spots the human crew] Oh! Sorry!
Young Man: [looking at The Prince. Stage whispers] Was this today?
[The Prince arches an eyebrow]
Young Man: Well, I’ll get out of your hair then. I’m Tom, by the way, very pleased to meet you. [He bounces forward to shake Janelle’s hand, then Izzy’s, then Jonston’s (Sound Recordist)]
[Behind him, the Prince clears his throat very softly]
Tom: Right! [pointing back over his shoulder, towards the corridor] I’ll just be in the, uh... Would anyone like a cup of tea? Coffee?
[The Prince’s throat clearing is slightly louder and carries a distinct note of displeasure]
Tom: Okay, bye! [backs out of the room, closing the door behind him]
[The Prince smiles at Janelle, but it seems strained]
The Prince: My... associate. Thomas. Please forgive the interruption. Where were we?
Janelle: You were telling us about the debate on whether to reveal yourselves or not?
The Prince: Ah yes –
[There is a knock on the door]
The Prince: [snarls] WHAT? [the humans all jump]
[An entirely non-descript little gray man speaks from the doorway]
Servant: A telephone call for you, Your Highness. Blencowe. He says it’s important.
The Prince: [sighing audibly] Very well. [turning to the humans] Would you mind going with Perkins here to the kitchen? He’ll provide you with refreshments. Hopefully this won’t take long. [he reaches for an old-fashioned but elegant rotary phone on the small table beside the divan]
Janelle: Oh, of course!
[the humans exit the room. As Perkins closes the door behind them The Prince can be heard just audibly:]
The Prince: What? This better not be about the bloody sheep again...
[the camera continues recording as they follow the servant down the high-ceilinged hallway. There are more lamps out here; the warm, honey-gold light richly illuminates the textured wall-paper]
Janelle: Excuse me? Perkins, was it?
Perkins: Yes, miss?
[he’s moving quite fast. The humans almost have to trot to keep up]
Janelle: How long have you been with the Prince?
Perkins: I’ve had the honour and pleasure of serving his Highness for forty years, miss.
[He turns sharply to the left, taking them through a wide, plain door into what is obviously the kitchen. The lighting in here is provided by electric bulbs, the contrast between this and the lamplight is stark. The spotless white wall tiles glow. Tom is sitting at the table, a sandwich halfway to his mouth]
Tom: Oh, hello! Please sit down. [he nods towards the extra wooden chairs]
Tom: Sudden business for Chris, er, his Highness? [he looks sympathetic] Yes, that happens a lot I’m afraid. Would you like some tea...?
Perkins: I’ll see to it, Master Thomas.
Tom: [beaming at the servant] Thank you so much!
Janelle: You’ll have to forgive my curiosity, but who are you? The Prince said you were his ‘associate’?
Tom: [laughing] He would say that, yes! I’m his boyfriend, actually.
Janelle: Oh. [clearly surprised] Where did you meet?
Tom: Terribly cliché, but in a night club. I was dancing, having a great time, then this gorgeous man comes over and sweeps me off my feet!
Janelle: [not quite giggling] Very romantic!
Tom: We-e-ell, at first I thought he was going to kill me but turns out it was just particularly vigorous foreplay.
Janelle: You’re... human?
Tom: Gosh, no. I’m a werewolf.
[the frame jerks as Izzy reacts]
Izzy [from off-camera]: Wait, wait. Aren’t vampires and werewolves mortal enemies?
Tom: Ye-e-es. [he scratches behind his ear] We tend to be enemies or servants. Depends on where you are.
Izzy: In England?
Tom: Oh, definitely enemies. Chris and my relationship is quite unusual in that respect.
Jonston: How were you turned? If it’s not a personal question?
Tom: Another cliché, I’m afraid! Jogging at night, in the full moon, in a place where eeeveryone said not to go because it was dangerous. I thought they just meant there was a murderer or a rapist there or something. [he shrugs. He is adorable]
Jonston: It must’ve been... I can’t imagine how it must’ve been.
Tom: [sighs] It was a difficult time. I was... lost, you know? I had no idea what to do, where to go. I kept away from my family and friends because I didn’t want to hurt them.
Jonston: But... it worked out okay?
Tom: [cheerfully] Oh yes. My maker - the were who turned me - finally caught up with me. She wasn’t pleased about my running and hiding. It’d made it very difficult for her to fulfil her obligation to me, but she taught me everything I needed to know to be safe – or as safe as possible – and I was able to go back to my life, more or less. [he looks down] I mean, it’s never going to be the same, and there’s a lot of discrimination against my kind, but on the whole I’m optimistic. [he looks up and grins] And of course, there’s Chris...
Janelle: [jumping in] Yes, tell us about him!
Izzy: [under his breath] Oh, here we go.
Tom: [face lighting up. Adorably] I’m so lucky! He’s a-mazing! It’s not just all the super sexy he’s got going on, but he’s also super intelligent, super honourable, and so broad-minded! Honestly, vampires are such stick-in-the-muds, they hate change and are suspicious of ‘new ideas’, but Chris is very progressive, particularly given the period he’s from.
Janelle: [leaning forward, all pretence of professionalism out the window] Ooh, when was that?
Tom: He was a convict in an Australian penal colony in the late 1800s.
[Janelle squeaks excitedly and Tom beams]
Tom: I know, right! Looking at him now you wouldn’t think he was ever anything other than a Prince, but vampires can be such terrible snobs! It took a long time for Chris to gain acceptance -
[the kitchen door slams open. The Prince is there, glowering at the werewolf. Or it could be that the electric light is hard on his eyes. Tom yips in surprise but recovers quickly]
The Prince: Thomas! Enough!
[Tom springs to his feet and approaches the furious Prince completely without fear]
Tom: You shouldn’t be ashamed of your origins, darling! You’ve come so far, and done so much!
The Prince: [self-conscious] ... I’m not. Ashamed.
Tom: [resting his palms on the Prince’s chest and gazing earnestly in to his eyes. He is only a couple of inches shorter than the vampire] And you’re honest about where you come from. Francois claims he’s a French nobleman who escaped the guillotine. Bollocks! He was a North Country grain merchant who regularly ripped of his customers!
The Prince: ... what?
Tom: Belvedere Le Grande? London rat-catcher. Seriously, my love, you have nothing to be ashamed of!
The Prince: How do you know all this?
Tom: While you lot are having your Important Vampire Meetings, I’m in here having tea and cake with their thralls.
The Prince: [scowling] The thralls... gossip?
Tom: [laughing] All servants do, darling! Some more than others, admittedly, but I honestly don’t blame them. They’re treated so poorly! All they want is to have someone to talk with, not at them. No wonder they open up to me!
The Prince: Be that as it may, I wish you would remember the dignity of my position -
[Tom presses closer to the Prince. His voice has dropped to a murmur but is still able to be picked up by the excellent sound equipment]
Tom: Which position would that be? The one where my knees are by my ears and your tongue’s in my arse?
[the Prince snarls, snapping open his mouth. His fangs have popped out. Tom’s answering grin is feral, dangerous. His lips have pulled back enough to reveal that, yes, his canine teeth are longer than normal]
The Prince: [looks at the humans. His eyes are blood red] Get out.
Perkins: [steps forward, startling the humans who’d forgotten he was there] If you wouldn’t mind following me, please, miss, sirs?
[he hustles them out of the kitchen and down the hallway. Behind them they can hear an alarming blend of growls and snarls, and things crashing to the floor]
Perkins: [showing them out the front door] Thank you for coming. No doubt his Highness will call to reschedule. Good night.
[the door is shut in their faces]
Janelle: [looking bemusedly to camera] Um...
[an astonishingly loud, eerie howl makes them all jump]
Jonston: All right, that’s it, we’re leaving. Izzy, turn that off. We’re not indulging her fangirling any more tonight!
[screen abruptly goes black]