Work Text:
PART ONE:
SOMEWHERE IN THE MULTIVERSE JEON JUNGKOOK ISN’T SO FUCKING MISERABLE (AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT HE LIKES TO BELIEVE)
“Hey, can you help me with this paper on Bong Joon-ho?” Jimin asks, pouting. “I don’t think I’m smart enough for it.”
“Don’t say that, Jimin-ah, of course you are!” Namjoon assures him, placing a hand on Jimin’s shoulder reassuringly. He looks at Jungkook briefly. “But, uh, I’ll help you, of course. Whatever you need.”
Jungkook sighs heavily, rolling his eyes as he opens the astrology book he picked up from a random corridor at the library just so he could have something to do as he waits for Taehyung to save him from the doom that it is to watch Jimin and Namjoon interact with each other.
“Something wrong, Kook?” Namjoon asks, raising his eyes up to him, a questioning look on his face.
“The book is boring,” Jungkook replies, which is not a lie, but is also not why he sighed so heavily. He’s glad neither of them saw him rolling his eyes, but honestly, how could they, when they are always so caught up on each other? “I’m gonna leave you two to work on Jiminie’s paper, will text Tae to meet me at the cafeteria.”
Jimin tilts his head to the side and parts his lips, but doesn’t say anything. Jungkook offers them a tight smile and does his best not to sprint out of the library. He feels like, lately, whenever he’s close to the two of them, Jungkook can’t breathe. It’s weird. He doesn’t know what’s up with Namjoon and Jimin, if they are even aware of their constant flirting or if they have already hooked up and this is just the aftermath, but either way, it’s fucking annoying.
And it has nothing to do with Jungkook having feelings for either of them, not at all. Well, he does have a tiny crush on Namjoon, but that’s more admiration than anything serious. Purely platonic. Anyway, it’s not about that. It’s just that it becomes uncomfortable for everyone else around, you know? Especially since they don’t seem to want to offer any explanations about it. If you’re gonna be gross and all over each other, at least make it fucking official that you are together.
“Why are you pouting?” Taehyung asks as soon as he sits in front of Jungkook at one of the cafeteria tables. “Why are you not eating? Did something happen?”
Jungkook sighs, pushing his bowl of untouched spice ramen towards Taehyung. “I’m not hungry, you can have it, it’s still hot, I just sat here.”
“You’re not what now?” Taehyung asks, mouth agape. “What happened?”
Jungkook crosses his arms. “Nothing happened, I just don’t get what’s so hard about getting officially together if you’re already all over each other’s freaking faces.”
“Oh, Jungkook…” Taehyung chuckles, closing his mouth as soon as his best friend glares at him. “Okay, fine. We’ll continue to not talk about it.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Jungkook counters, turning his head to the side to see Namjoon and Jimin laughing with each other as they enter the cafeteria. “Oh, for fucks sake.”
He stands up, grabbing his backpack. Taehyung asks where he’s going, and Jungkook replies he forgot he has a deadline. When he moves past Jimin and Namjoon, they don’t even notice he’s there. Jungkook likes to pretend a lot of things don’t hurt him.
He adds that to the list.
As previously stated, Jungkook has no idea what’s up with Jimin and Namjoon, and by the way it’s going, he won’t know unless he asks, which he can’t do. On principle. And maybe because the idea of asking makes him want to throw up.
But in case it’s not just extremely annoying and over-the-top flirting and they are hooking up, Jungkook doesn’t understand why they would hide it. It’s not like any of their friends would judge them for (dating? Fucking? Making out on occasion?). In fact, they would probably throw a fucking party for them and Jungkook would stay in the corner with his little beer cup and think “ damn, when the fuck is it gonna be my turn ”.
Not with them! Not his turn with them. Either of them. Just his turn in general. With dating. And fucking. And making out on occasion.
“You always look like there’s a heavy cloud hanging over your head these days,” Seokjin comments when Jungkook comes over for their tutoring sessions. “Wanna talk to hyung about it?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” That seems to be Jungkook’s favorite quote, lately. He sighs. “I just don’t get people. Like, I don’t understand their reasoning for things and I guess that sometimes is upsetting.”
“Yeah, that happens sometimes. People are complicated, Jungkookie.”
Jungkook pouts, shrugging. It doesn’t matter. Or maybe it does, but really, it doesn’t. It shouldn’t. He tries to focus back on his studies, but it’s quite hard. Jungkook thinks if he admitted to anyone out loud how much this situation bothers him, he would get one of those bombastic side-eyes people talk about on the Internet all the time.
He would also get a criminal side-eye for the fact he– well . Despite not being keen on asking directly like a normal person would, Jungkook has kind of tried to make them confess they are more than just friends, or at least acknowledge that they want to be more than just friends, but whatever comment he makes isn’t as obvious as he thought it would be because neither Jimin or Namjoon seem to notice.
For instance, there they all were watching a video Taehyung filmed of them at Hoseok’s birthday party and Jimin said “ oh Namjoon-hyung, you look so pretty! ”, so Jungkook couldn’t help but counter “ I think we all look pretty ” to try to show that Jimin’s affection was weirdly only directed at Namjoon (technically just his friend as everyone else in the room) and truly, the only person who side-eyed him was Taehyung. To the rest, it was like Jungkook didn’t even say anything at all.
Another day, Namjoon said that Jimin was really special and the words “ we’re all special ” just bubbled out of Jungkook because why is he only talking about Jimin and all they both did was nod their heads in agreement and say “ yeah, we’re all special ”. Infuriating, really.
But the situation that really takes the cake is when Jimin took a picture of him and Namjoon and realized that, when they were that close together, they kinda shaped like a heart. He showed Namjoon the polaroid and Namjoon went all soft and giggly and Jungkook just said “ that’s the friendship ” and really, neither of them batted an eye, let alone offer an agreement or denial to the affirmation.
Why don’t they just fucking admit they are dating? It’s so fucking ughhhhh .
“Jungkook, focus,” Seokjin asks.
With a deep sigh and a tiny whine, Jungkook rests his forehead on pages 345 and 346 of his annoying human psychology book.
They are having a party. No, a get together , because a party, in Jungkook’s book, would require a lot more booze and a much louder music banging from the walls to keep him distracted from what he needs to be distracted right now.
And he doesn’t even like parties.
How long is time enough before he can leave?
“You’re such a great dancer, Jimin-ah,” Namjoon is saying right now and Jungkook wishes a hole would just fucking open up in the ground so he could fall into the center of the earth and make friends with the lizards because that certainly is better than whatever this is. “Jungkook-ah, you should go dance with Jiminie.”
“Why?” Jungkook answers rather harshly. He shouldn’t have drunk two margaritas. Jungkook knows he can’t drink margaritas. “I mean, I don’t really feel like dancing…”
“Such a shame!” Jimin says, pouting hard. He looks so pretty with eyeshadow smudged over his eyelids. “Love when you dance with me, Jungkook-ah.”
“Why don’t you ask Namjoon to dance with you?” Jungkook says, leaning his body forward, eyes narrowing as he looks between the two of them. Namjoon sitting on the couch next to Jungkook’s preferred armchair and Jimin’s basically, practically between his legs. “You two seem really cozy lately, anyway.”
They both sort of blink at him in shock. Taehyung audibly whines somewhere to his right and Jungkook figures he really shouldn’t have drank the two margaritas. He sighs, shaking his head and forcing a smile onto his lips.
“I mean it’s nice,” he tries to mend. Taehyung whines again. Jungkook clears his throat. “You’d look good dancing together.”
Jungkook isn’t sure if he means that. Objectively, Namjoon and Jimin are both very good looking and Jungkook has stared at both in a way that can be considered a little more than friendly and he’s glad they haven’t noticed it because that would’ve been mortifying . However, despite both being extremely fuckable (objectively), whenever he thinks about the two of them together , it just... Jungkook could punch several holes in the wall, honestly. The image is just a lot, overall. But. Still. They… do look good together. Very good.
“You think so?” Namjoon asks in such an ominous way Jungkook gets a bit spooked, so he just replies:
“Yeah, why not?”
Namjoon nods. He looks a bit lost. Jimin stands up, grabs his hand and pulls him to the middle of the room where others are dancing. Jungkook looks for 20 seconds, then feels his eyes sting. Then looks away.
“Jungkook-ah, would you like to come to the movies with us?”
Please, tell me you’re fucking joking .
He stares at Jimin, who has his arm linked with Namjoon’s and this sweet, sun blinding smile on his face. His hair is pulled back today, not a style he wears often, with his forehead showing and all. He looks good. And Namjoon. Sigh . He’s been working out too much lately. The specs paired up with the huge muscles make a fine job at getting him to look like Clark Kent.
Thing is, they look like a couple. They probably are a couple. So why, why , would they ask if Jungkook wants to go to the movies with them? Isn’t it known to everyone on the planet that nobody likes to be a third wheel? How many times have they done this to him by now?
“Uh,” he starts. All he has to do to get rid of this is say he’s seen whatever they wanna see already. It’s easy. Jungkook has done this before. “What are you watching?”
“ Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3 ,” Namjoon says. “You mentioned wanting to go see it, but not having company because Taehyung is lame and went with Yoongi and Hoseok promised to go, but he’s too busy and Seokjin has simply refused because he can’t handle the emotional baggage.”
Damn it . Jungkook really wants to see that movie and he just doesn’t want to go on his own. It feels like a movie you should see with other people. Friends. But are Jimin and Namjoon friends? Well, they are his friends, but are they friends to each other ? It’s truly the million dollar question (that he won’t ask).
“Is it rocket science, Jungkookie?” Jimin chuckles, letting go of Namjoon’s arm and stepping forward. He links his arm with Jungkook’s. “I miss spending more time with you.”
“I’m always around,” Jungkook reminds him in what he hopes is a lighthearted tone and not the raspy, kinda bothered way it sounds in his mind. “Maybe you just haven’t noticed.”
Uh. Okay. Maybe that was a little too on the nose.
Jimin pouts. “I always notice you, Jungkook-ah.”
Or not.
“Okay,” Jungkook replies, trying to smile (he thinks he succeeds). “I’ll– go to the movies with you.”
The both of them seem to be really happy that Jungkook’s joining the movie (hangout? Date?). They tell him time and place and Jimin even offers him a ride, says he will be picking up Namjoon, too. It makes Jungkook feel a little breathless, if he’s honest. On one hand, he’s glad he has company to go watch this movie, but on the other hand, it feels like he’s about to walk straight into purgatory because he swears, if he has to see Namjoon feed Jimin a fucking popcorn as they both giggle like school girls on a first date, he might just lose it completely.
Oh, shit. He should not be going to the movies with them, should he? Jungkook should try harder to get out of it, just like he did every other time they suggested him to do anything with them for the past few months.
“I’m not sure I’m free at 8pm,” Jungkook says.
“Oh, really?” Jimin pouts. “Well, I guess we could pick a different time. Are you free at 9:30?”
Oh. He’s insisting. Why is he insisting?
“If you’re also not free, we could maybe go earlier,” Namjoon suggests when Jungkook doesn’t reply.
Jimin leans his head on Jungkook’s arm and suddenly his heart is beating in his ears. Jungkook looks down at his friend and the pout on his lips and how cute he looks when he wants something and caves. “Okay,” he says. “9:30 is good for me.”
“Great!” Jimin exclaims with a smile, lifting his head and placing a kiss on Jungkook’s cheek. Oh. “Really excited to go out with both of you!”
“Same,” Namjoon agrees, eyes going between the two of them. “You two look so cute like this, can I take a picture?”
What the fuck is going on right now.
Jungkook blinks, wide eyes, as Jimin nods and Namjoon grabs his phone. He asks them to pose and Jungkook, totally out of it, makes a peace sign. Jimin does the same. Namjoon asks them to smile as wide as they can and he looks honestly so happy as he holds the phone up. Jungkook smiles because he could never deny Namjoon anything in his life and glances to the side to see if Jimin is smiling too (idiotic because of course Jimin’s smiling. Jimin is always smiling).
“So handsome,” Namjoon clicks his tongue, clicking a few shots. “Ah, daebak.”
Yeah, Jimin is handsome. Jungkook agrees. He tightens his smile and finally drops it altogether once Namjoon puts his phone down. The loud drumming of his heart doesn’t cease, but Jungkook tries not to pay any mind to it. He watches as Jimin sprints towards Namjoon to take a look at the pictures and, once again, they are side by side. It doesn’t take long for Namjoon to put his arm around Jimin’s shoulder and for Jimin to look just a bit smaller under his embrace.
They really do look like a couple. They probably are a couple.
So why, why the fuck do they want Jungkook to go out with them? Aren’t couples supposed to want time alone? And if they happen to still be on the flirting stage, aren’t people who want to fuck supposed to want time alone?
Jungkook would want time alone, if it was him.
But it’s not him. It’s them. And he’s just– here.
The thought makes Jungkook’s chest hurt a bit.
Sitting in the backseat of Jimin’s car, Jungkook rethinks every single one of his life decisions and how exactly did they lead him here, a fucking third wheel.
“I don’t remember anything about vol.2,” Namjoon comments. “Jungkookie, can you give me a brief rundown?”
“Sure,” Jungkook mutters, looking out the window. He feels a little too miserable for someone about to experience what the critics say to be one of the best Marvel movies. Seriously, what has become of him?
After he explains the last movie (and what’s happened since then), Jimin and Namjoon begin talking about their favorite characters and scenes and they ask Jungkook’s input, too, which is nice of them to try to make him feel included. Jungkook almost convinced himself they had forgotten to remember that other people exist. And like he said before, he wouldn’t care about being pushed to the sidelines if Jimin and Namjoon were a little more honest.
“How are your romantic lives?”
Silence.
Did Jungkook really just fucking say that? What happened with not asking because it makes him want to throw up? He really should learn how to just be quiet.
“What do you mean?” Namjoon asks, voice so careful it’s almost like he’s holding a tiny little kitten in a lake surrounded by crocodiles. “Our romantic– what?”
Oh, that’s just fantastic .
“Yeah, are you seeing someone?”
Jungkook hates that he can’t see either of their faces right now. He’s sure their expressions are just golden. The silence stretches for too long and even if Jungkook feels like he’s about to throw up, it’s probably because of the moving car.
“I’m not seeing anyone,” Jimin finally answers, voice much lower than normally. “And uh, I don’t think Namjoon-hyung’s seeing anyone either. Are you?”
“No, no,” Namjoon says right away. “Nope. Not seeing anyone.”
They are so fucking shameless, honestly. It’s obviously a lie, nobody who doesn’t have something to hide would look this nervous over such a simple question. It only serves to make Jungkook even more annoyed with the whole thing. He rolls his eyes and looks out the window, now absolutely sure he shouldn’t have come.
“What about you?” Jimin asks. “Are you seeing anyone?”
“Yes.” If they can lie, then Jungkook can lie, too. “I’m seeing someone.”
A beat of silence.
“Oh,” Namjoon says in a higher tone. “Oh, okay. That’s- nice. Do we know them?”
“No, it’s someone I met online. We’ve gone on a couple dates, but I don’t know yet.”
Jungkook isn’t proud of how fast he came up with that. Truly. It even makes his skin itch a bit.
“That’s nice,” Jimin mutters.
“Yeah, very nice,” Namjoon agrees. “Happy for you, Kookie.”
“Yeah, very happy for you, Jungkookie,” Jimin adds.
Why do they sound so weird? Jungkook turns his eyes away from the window and to the back of their heads. He has half a mind to ask them another question, a more direct one, but what would be the point? They have already denied being together. If Jungkook confronts them further, things might get awkward and Jungkook isn’t a big fan of awkwardness despite often finding himself in awkward situations.
In the end, none of them say anything else until they get to the mall. The air is a bit off, it’s impossible to deny, but still, that’s what they do. Everyone denies something’s weird and to the cinema they go. Namjoon offers to buy all of them popcorn and Jungkook isn’t really the type to deny free food, so he accepts it gladly. They all grab popcorn, soda and buy their tickets and right before they enter the session, Jimin asks if they can take a selfie together because, you know , we barely have any pics of only the three of us .
Jungkook realizes that’s true. He thinks they took a pic together a couple years ago when he didn’t have nearly as many tattoos as he does now, nor his long hair. And Jimin’s hair is black for the first time in forever, so that’s new, too. And Namjoon looks like a completely different person (he goes to the gym five times a week; Jungkook found out and was speechless for about 30 seconds).
“Your arm is too small,” Namjoon reminds Jimin when he tries to include them all on the same frame and Jungkook catches Jimin’s little pout before he giggles. He offers Namjoon his phone. “Thank you, Jiminie.”
Namjoon stretches his arm and asks them all to pose. Jungkook can see them on camera and they look good. Jimin in the middle, the small one, Jungkook on one side, the middle one, and Namjoon on the other, the big one. Several pics are taken of them making different faces, from cute to giggly to sexy. By the time Namjoon gives Jimin his phone back, things are definitely less odd between them and that makes Jungkook feel a little more relaxed (but he’s still upset with the lies!).
The movie is great, as predicted. Jungkook cries and isn’t ashamed of it. Jimin cries, too, and Namjoon only pretends he didn’t drop a tear, but he absolutely did because Jungkook saw it reflected by the screen. He denies it and Jimin says he saw it, too, and by the time they get back into the car, Jimin and Jungkook have ganged up on Namjoon and made him admit that he did, in fact, cry a little.
“There’s nothing wrong with crying,” Jimin says.
“I know there’s nothing wrong with crying, I’m just not a big crier,” Namjoon argues.
“I think you are,” Jungkook counters. “I’d love to see you crying again. You look cute.”
Namjoon looks back at him. “I do?”
“Yeah.” Jungkook looks away, bites his lower lip. Why does his stomach feel so weird? Is it the popcorn? He shouldn’t have had so much of it. He places a hand over it. “Uh, are you gonna drop me off at home, Jiminie?”
“Unless you want to be somewhere else.” Jimin takes a glance at him through the rearview mirror. “Do you? Maybe, uh, you’re going to meet that person you’re seeing?”
Jungkook frowns and is about to ask what the hell he is talking about when he suddenly remembers the lie he told three hours ago about seeing someone because he was upset they were lying to him about not seeing each other. Oh, he needs to kill that story real quick. In a couple days, he will tell them it didn’t work out and that he’s looking inward right now.
“No, I, uh, it’s late.”
Jimin nods and tightens his grip on the wheel. Silence isn’t uncomfortable this time and Jungkook kind of prefers it. He’s really sleepy. He closes his eyes for just a second. Just a second, honestly.
“Jungkookie,” Namjoon whispers. “We’re at your place.”
What? Jungkook was just swimming in the ocean with a couple dolphins and a turtle. Oh, right. That’s impossible because Jungkook would never willingly be swimming in the open deep sea, much less with dolphins .
He blinks his eyes open, a bit surprised to see both Jimin and Namjoon staring at him like he’s made of glass. Jungkook was just sleeping, jeez. He cleans some drool from the side of his lips (pathetic) and sits up straighter. Glancing down for a moment, Jungkook sees Namjoon’s fingers resting on top of Jimin’s in between the car seats.
“Thank you for the movie and the ride.” Jungkook opens the door, confused and breathless and a little bit sick. Both men smile softly at him. Their fingers are still resting together. Are they going back to one of their apartments to pretend they are not together some more? If Jungkook video called Jimin an hour from now, would he pretend to be alone? “Sleep well.”
“You, too,” they both say. “See you soon,” Namjoon adds.
Jungkook walks out of the car and towards his building’s entrance. The more steps he takes away from them, the weirder he feels. He replays their conversations in his mind, and everything that has happened over the past couple months. All the clinginess and compliments and just constant being close. Jungkook decides that a scenario in which Jimin and Namjoon aren’t together doesn’t make any sense. All evidence points to that. And he doesn’t care. He really doesn’t. Jungkook doesn’t give a fuck.
Looking at himself in his elevator’s mirror, Jungkook takes a deep breath.
“You give a lot of fucks,” he tells himself. “You care a whole fucking lot.”
His reflection doesn’t deny it.
The next couple weeks are hard, to say the least.
Jungkook has his last finals ever (because he’s about to graduate and apparently he had completely pushed that aside to care about other people’s love lives) and now he can’t even be in the same room as Namjoon and Jimin without wanting to barf. Or cry. Or scream. Maybe all three at the same time.
It was a lot easier when Jungkook was kidding himself about the reason why this bothered him so much. In retrospect, it’s kinda stupid that he really was able to delude himself into thinking all his tantrums about this were coming from a place of annoyance over a secret relationship poorly kept secret and not because he wishes he was part of said secret relationship.
What do the kids say again? Right . Denial is a river in Egypt (he should really delete TikTok from his phone).
It took Jungkook a more than a couple days to fully understand the fact he’s really into two people at the same time. He toyed with the idea that it was just Namjoon that he wanted because yeah , that crush he deluded himself into thinking (clearly a theme for him) was tiny and mostly platonic? Not tiny, not platonic. Actually it’s sort of the size of the Titanic (before it sank and was cut in half).
As for Jimin, who wouldn’t have a crush on Jimin? The man’s made out of sunshine. And he’s always got Jungkook feeling fuzzy. Jungkook simply didn’t realize that fuzzy actually meant completely down bad in a very homosexual way and can I please get on my knees for you?
So, needless to say, Jungkook is a moron. A stupid and completely and irrevocably in love moron.
“Are you quoting Twilight to me right now?” Taehyung asks as soon as Jungkook ends his very long monologue about how he wants to kiss both Jimin and Namjoon. “But I’m glad you’ve finally realized the obvious.”
“Obvious, huh?” Jungkook pouts. “Well, if it’s so obvious, then, why haven’t they realized it too?”
“Because they are morons like you.”
Jungkook shrugs. “Or maybe they just don’t feel that way about me. Tae, they are definitely dating. I see it and you see it, too. Don’t deny.”
“I won’t deny that they have been cozier, but that doesn’t mean they are dating and most importantly, that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t date you.”
“How many people do you know that would want a poly relationship?”
“Surprisingly, a great deal.” Taehyung winks at him. “Come on, don’t be so sour. Maybe now that you know how you feel, you can focus a little less on all of this jealousy and a little more on observing things you weren’t looking for before.”
“Like what?”
“Like how they treat you,” Taehyung sighs like it’s obvious (and considering, it probably is). “Yes, they treat each other well, but how do they treat you ? They invited you on a date with them, didn’t they?”
“That wasn’t a–”
Jungkook stops. Taehyung presses his lips together and nods slowly.
“There you go, big boy, there you go.”
But wait . That was just a one time thing and–
Jungkookie, can you teach us boxing? Jimin keeps saying he thinks I’m fit for the sport.
I’m thinking of taking personal defense classes with Namjoon. What do you think, Jungkookie? Would you wanna do it, too?
Jimin and I were talking and we were wondering if you’d like our help studying for your calculus class. Why did you take that one, Kookie? You hate math!
Did you know that Namjoonie is hosting a poetry club, Jungkookie? Would you like to go with me?
Jungkook-ah, you should go dance with Jiminie.
“Oh.”
“Did you just remember they’ve invited you to hang out multiple times and you said no because you thought you’d be third wheeling, but it’s now clear that they just wanted to be with you, too?”
“It’s not that clear,” Jungkook’s voice is small. Almost defeated. He needs to lie down. He can’t. He has an exam in one hour. “Why is my love life imploding in the middle of finals?”
Taehyung pats his head. “It’ll be fine. Just get through finals and then talk to them.”
“Talk to them? And say what?”
“I’m in love with you, can we please be a throuple?”
The mere idea of saying something like to Namjoon and Jimin as they hold hands or some shit makes Jungkook want to throw up.
“I can’t just come up to them and say that.”
“You can, but on the off chance I’m wrong, which despite being very unlikely, is a tiny possibility, let’s take a safer route.” Taehyung taps his hands on the table. “You’ll ask both of them out, just like they have asked you, but let it be clear it’s for a date.”
“Isn’t that the exact same thing as telling them I’m in love with them and I want us to be a throuple?”
Taehyung ponders. “Not really.”
“Yes, it is,” Jungkook sighs, lowering his head on the table again. “I was much happier before I noticed I had a crush on them. Well, that’s a lie. I wasn’t happier, but at least I wasn’t feeling like throwing up all the fucking time, and I wanna cry, too, you know? Because of how much of a fucking idiot I am. Like, duh , of course I have a crush on Namjoon that big buff dork dimpled tall perfect boyfriend type of guy and–”
“Jungkook,” Taehyung calls, voice hushed.
“No, listen . And of course I also have a crush on Jimin, have you seen him? He’s so sweet and lovely and sexy and his laugh could light up an entire town, I swear. He’s the type of person you both want to hug and make out with because he’s so warm and so hot, and it’s very confusing, but very amazing, too.”
“Jungkook,” Taehyung calls again, voice a little louder this time.
“And with my bloody luck, of course the two people I wanna hold hands with are already together and for some fucking reason, they are pretending they are not.” Jungkook lifts his head and fits a very panicked Taehyung. “Do you think they are sucking each other’s faces right now? Oh, God. It’s so confusing how that makes me annoyed and horny at the same time.”
Taehyung takes a deep breath. “Jungkook, I don’t know how to say that to you, but, uh…” He doesn’t continue. Taehyung takes his eyes from Jungkook to a higher spot behind him. “Uh…”
“They are behind me, aren’t they?” Jungkook asks, throat dry. Isn’t this trope kind of very fucking old? Behind him . What is this, an Alfred Hitchcock movie?
“You like us?” Jimin asks. His voice isn’t loud by any means, but it rings in Jungkook’s ears as if Jimin had placed a megaphone in his face. Jungkook wants to die. He can’t turn around, so he lowers his head on the table again. “Jungkookie.”
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Jungkook whines.
“Why not?” Namjoon asks. “We– We, uh, we like you, too.”
Now this is a movie. Or a dream. Or some fucked up version of reality he completely managed to miss.
PART TWO:
SOME FUCKED UP VERSION OF REALITY HE COMPLETELY MANAGED TO MISS
“How many more hints can we give him?” Jimin sighs, snuggling on Namjoon’s lap on the armchair. He’s still getting used to the fact he can do that. Wants to do that. A few months ago, all they wanted was Jungkook. Now, they want each other. Too. Important to note. “Should we be more straightforward?”
“We invited him to watch Guardians of the Galaxy with us,” Namjoon argues. “We made him sit in the middle, we took selfies . And that wasn’t even the first time we asked him on a date…”
“It was the first he accepted.” Jimin points. “He keeps running away from us. Do you think he secretly hates us? Do you remember a few weeks ago at the library when we were trying to get him to help me with that film project and he just stared at us with a blank face then left without saying anything?”
Namjoon hums. “I even offered to help you myself because he just stayed silent . Like, it was about film , why wouldn’t he offer help? It made no sense.”
There have been many instances like this where Namjoon or Jimin (or both!) offered Jungkook to do something together of his interest and he just brushed them off. They even suggested taking up boxing , for fucks sake.
“Maybe inviting him to the poetry club was a little too much, though…” Namjoon comments.
“And now he’s dating ? Who is this person and in what way are they better than us?” Jimin exclaims. It hurts his heart to even say the words. Namjoon caresses his back. “We lost him, didn’t we?”
“Did we ever even have him?” Namjoon wonders. “He’s been so– distant from us, lately. Maybe we did something to upset him.”
Jimin shakes his head. “He wouldn’t have said yes to movie night if that was the case.”
“He would. It’s Jungkook.”
They spend most of the night recollecting facts, trying to figure out what they could possibly have done to upset Jungkook to the point of him starting to avoid them, to sprint out of the car once they got to his home, to deny boxing together, taking personal defense classes. Jimin even went beyond and offered help with calculus and he said no. Jungkook sucks at math, why did he say no?
“Can I confess something?” Jimin whispers when they have laid down on his bed to sleep. Namjoon isn’t a cuddler, but he makes an effort for Jimin’s sake. “I keep imagining him here with us. Maybe between us, or hugging me from the back. I’m the smallest, after all.”
Namjoon kisses him softly on the lips. “You are. You two could take turns as the middle spoon.”
“Hey, you two, mister! I want you in the middle, too.”
They fall into silence.
“I get so jealous picturing him with someone else,” Jimin makes another confession. “Don’t you?”
“I’m glad you were driving when he said that he was seeing someone because I’d crashed the car. Well, I would’ve crashed the car regardless.”
They both laugh, then fall into silence again.
“Should we have been honest with him?” Namjoon wonders. “When we asked if we were seeing someone. I don’t know, I felt like lying was an automatic response because I don’t want him to think the three of us are off the table if he starts seeing the both of us as a duo, you know?”
Jimin hums. “I know. But yeah, maybe we should have been honest. Maybe we could sit down with him and be– completely honest? If he turns us down, he turns us down.”
When Namjoon doesn’t reply, Jimin knows it means he’s either scared or unsure on what to do. Probably both, this time. He hugs him tightly.
“If we want a chance with Jungkook, we need to be honest with him, hyung,” he says. “We can’t keep expecting him to guess because he clearly won’t do it. Either because he hates us or because yeah, he’s with someone else.”
Namjoon makes a puking sound. Jimin tries to laugh, but it comes off a little strangled.
“Jealousy, jealousy,” Namjoon whispers. “Eating up at me.”
PART THREE:
OH.
Jungkook takes a deep breath and, with his entire body pulsing and the imminent threat of barfing all over the table and Taehyung’s very expensive books (not to mention his own notes for the exam he needs to take in what, 20 minutes?!) he turns to look at the two men standing behind him.
Both of them have wide eyes, slack jaw and a tint of blush on their cheeks.
“Is this a joke?” Jungkook asks because what else is he supposed to say in this situation? In what universe would this not be a joke because what the actual fucking fuck?! “Because it’s not funny.”
Like they often do, Jimin and Namjoon exchange a look . On any other day, that would make Jungkook roll his eyes and probably throw a tantrum inside his mind (because in public it would be too much, would it not?). Today, it makes him expectant.
“It’s not a joke, we really like you.” Jimin runs a hand through his gorgeous black hair, eyes going from Namjoon, to Jungkook and then to Taehyung. He seems distressed. “Tae, would you mind?”
“I’m gone already.” He stands up. “Don’t forget your exam, Kook, it is kind of important.”
Jungkook hears him and he thinks Taehyung is right, but his mind is too busy trying to make sense of what’s being said right now. In his silence, Namjoon and Jimin take the opportunity to sit down. They look so serious it feels like they are about to tell Jungkook he won’t be able to graduate.
“So,” Jungkook tries. “What is going on here?”
He would love it if they offered some answers because he has none. As much as he tries to understand or make sense of whatever the fuck this means (i mean, duh , but also what ), the more confused he becomes and that’s never a good sign.
“We like you,” Namjoon repeats, as if that’s obvious ( duh ). He smiles that smile that makes Jungkook want to die and he always presumed it happened because he has a heart condition (he doesn’t). “We thought you didn’t feel the same way because we kept trying to grab your attention and you were always so adamant about not wanting to be with us. After the movies, you told us you were seeing someone so we kinda– I don’t know, we thought we should talk to you about how we felt, but again, you kept rushing out of any room we walked into.”
Jungkook blinks at him several times. Even if he wished to say something, which he doesn’t, he wouldn’t know what to say because every single word going through his mind is either very confusing or not suitable for broadcast.
“We are dating, by the way. Sort of, at least.” Jimin continues, blushing intensifying. “One night a few months ago we got drunk and confessed we both had crushes on you. Since then, we created a bond over the excruciating pining over you we had going on. And– well, somewhere along the way, we started liking each other too.”
“Because we really didn’t think you liked us that way, especially after so many hints we gave and you didn’t pick up on,” Namjoon adds. Jungkook wants to punch the floor. “So, just gradually, we found our way to each other and it felt natural, but still, something was missing. You, if it isn’t obvious. We decided to start inviting you on dates and see if you’d be down to be with us, both of us. But the more we tried, the more uninterested you looked.”
“Then we realized maybe we weren’t being super clear and settled on being straight with you, but only after your finals...” Jimin looks down at his phone. “Which is now , Jungkookie. Oh my God. You have to go.”
“I have to go,” Jungkook repeats, more in autopilot than anything. He stares at them for a really long time. None of this makes sense. He feels like he’s about to either throw up or break into a musical number at a Disney movie. Jimin clicks his fingers in front of his face. Jungkook blinks. “I have to go.”
He hesitates for a moment after he stands up, but both Namjoon and Jimin rush him to run and promise they will be waiting in this exact spot waiting for him so they can properly talk about this. Jungkook believes them, why wouldn’t he? And proceeds to run for his life and hope to God he can concentrate on his exam and not spend three whole three hours thinking about dimpled smiles he would like to poke and crescent moons that could blind the sun.
Needless to say, it doesn’t work.
Jungkook spends the entire exam, thinking about dimpled smiles and crescent moons. Worse than that he thinks about those dimples and moons kissing his lips. He isn’t sure how he got here or how they got here because until a few days ago Jimin and Namjoon were just his friends. Then they became his friends who are secretly hooking up. Now they are still his friends, but dating for real and hoping to be (dating?!!!) him. At the same time. Together.
Logistically, how does that work? Jungkook has seen porn, but he has a feeling that it isn’t really the same thing. Do two of them kiss first? Do they attempt a throuple kiss? How do they hold hands? And if Jungkook’s in the middle, how does he stop the itch on his nose?
He comes back to the cafeteria with a lot of questions and a heart that feels like it is about to burst out of his chest. He doesn’t find it surprising to see Namjoon and Jimin sitting exactly where he had left them. They are eating now, and they even left a portion of gimbap for him at the table.
Jungkook feels his heart warm and all that lame shit people who have feelings feel. It isn’t his first rodeo, but it certainly is his first double rodeo. He sits down without a word and stares at the two men in front of him. Namjoon offers him chopsticks.
“How was your exam?”
“Respectfully, do we really wanna talk about my exam right now?” Jungkook exclaims, which leads both men to giggle. He grabs one gimbap and shoves it in his mouth. He chews slowly, giving himself even more time to gather his thoughts (which is what he mostly did during exams. He’s lucky he’s a great student and had enough good grades to pass this subject without this disaster of a test). “You like me.”
“Yes. Well, more precisely, we are desperately in love with you,” Jimin corrects. Jungkook’s legs shake and for a terrifying moment he thinks he’s going to fall over, then he remembers he’s already sitting. Jimin puts his own chopsticks down. “This feels too formal. Shouldn’t we be under the moonlight confessing our undying love to each other?”
Namjoon makes a sound. Both of them turn to look at him.
“Does it matter how movie-like it is if we’re together?”
Jimin and Jungkook stare at him.
“You’re so cheesy,” Jimin says, giggling. “And then you go and pretend you’re not.”
“Stop teasing me.” Namjoon nudges Jimin’s side, making the younger man giggle harder. Jungkook feels something weird turn in his stomach and suddenly he’s not hungry anymore. After a couple seconds, Namjoon says; “We want this type of banter with you, too, you know? We were just waiting for you to let us.”
Jimin nods, smiling sweetly. Crescent moons. Namjoon’s smiling too. Perfect dimples. When Jungkook smiles, do they see bunny teeth?
“Is this real?” He asks, maybe stupidly, but a person like Jungkook needs more than one affirmation to believe anything. Call it a security deposit. “I mean, do you really want to include me in your relationship?”
“It’s not a complete relationship without you,” Jimin whispers. “That’s how we started, Jungkook. Hyung and I only got closer because we both wanted you .”
Jungkook presses his lips together, then takes a deep breath. “I can’t picture both of you pining over me.”
“It was excruciating,” Namjoon whines, shaking his head. “You’re so oblivious, baby.”
They all stop. Both Namjoon and Jungkook blush. Jimin claps his hands. “Ah, the first baby! Namjoon-hyung has been dying to call you that for months, Jungkookie.”
“And–” Jungkook stops, looking at Jimin’s pretty features. “Do you want to call me something?”
Jimin pretends to think about it for a second.
“How about mine ?”
Jungkook blushes even harder. Namjoon calls Jimin cheesy. They both laugh. Jungkook follows along.
FINAL PART:
HAVING TWO BOYFRIENDS IS THE COOLEST FUCKING THING EVER (fr, dude)
Surprisingly, it doesn’t take Jungkook too long to adjust to the fact that not one , but two men want to hold his hand and call him his boyfriend, and that both of these men are the hottest fuckers to have ever walked on earth.
Somehow, for some unknown reason, that’s real fucking easy.
They had their first kiss that same day of Jungkook’s final exam that actually will be remembered in the future as the day Jungkook got a lucky strike on love and a F in calculus.
Maybe if you had accepted our help , Jimin said when they went to get Jungkook’s grades together.
Anyway. The kiss.
Jungkook was super nervous. They moved from the University’s cafeteria to Namjoon’s apartment because it was much more comfortable there. Jungkook wasn’t sure if his new-future-what-are-we partners had wicked intentions with this, but things happened gradually and naturally. You know, how it should be.
They talked for hours about everything; all the flirtation both Jimin and Namjoon attempted that went right over Jungkook’s head (in his mind, there was no way either man would be interested in him. They then listed reasons why they would 1000% be interested in him and between the top ones were 1) Cute 2) Talented 3) Funny 4) Special 5) A good friend 6) An awesome boxer 7) Golden voice 8) Good listener 9) Round eyes 10) Strong arms. Jungkook appreciated that they balanced it between physical, intellectual and emotional qualities).
A few beer cans were drunk. Nothing much, nothing that would get them tipsy. Then… Jungkook asked about when they got together and promised not to be jealous. Jimin and Namjoon didn’t look like they believed him, which is fair, because by then they were aware of the fact the reason why Jungkook ran away from being with them so much was because he was seething with jealousy.
Miscommunication tropes are very annoying. Jungkook hopes to never live through them again.
They told him they have been making out for six weeks and officially dating for three. It’s all new, all fresh and all they want to have with him, too. For a while, they wondered if it wasn’t greedy to want Jungkook as well when they already had each other, but the more of Jungkook they saw, the more they realized he really was the missing puzzle piece of their relationship.
Namjoon was the one to say that because that’s such a Namjoon thing to say, isn’t it?
And well. After words like that, all you can do is kiss. Jungkook even asked; who should I– first? Should we– at the same time?
But then Jimin got closer to him and pecked his lips. Namjoon did the same. And they kept pecking his lips one at a time, then deepened the kiss, one at a time, then all three of their lips were kissing all together, entangled in each other, so sweet, so breathtaking, so right.
Jungkook kissed both of them for the first time at the same time. That’s what it felt like then, and what it feels like now.
“So, how does it feel to graduate from college?” Namjoon asks as they lay down on the University’s law, drunk out of their minds, with Jungkook still in his cap and gown. “I remember I felt free, but also terrified.”
“You’re in college again,” Jungkook remembers. “And so are you, Jimin. Why? This was the worst experience of my fucking life. Never want to do it again.”
“Everyone is different,” Jimin says, intertwining his fingers with Jungkook’s. Jungkook does the same with Namjoon’s with his free hand.
They take turns being in the middle (Namjoon pretends he doesn’t like it, but he really does). Since today is Jungkook’s graduation day, he got the perk for himself. He hopes his boyfriends prepared a very special graduation present for him. And he hopes it involves ropes.
“Tomorrow’s our one month anniversary,” Jungkook reminds them even though he’s pretty sure he doesn’t need to remind Jimin of anything. “What are we doing to celebrate?”
“Eating cake and having sex?” Namjoon suggests. “That’s pretty much all we do.”
“We don’t eat cake that often,” Jimin comments.
They all laugh.
Jungkook’s so drunk. So high. So in love.
“I still can’t believe you got jealous of us being together when we were both pining over you,” Jimin giggles in a low tone.
“That’s way better than you, who got jealous of a fake person I made up out of nowhere,” Jungkook bites back with no bite at all.
“I wanted to track them down so badly,” Namjoon adds. They all laugh again. “Like I told Jimin once a few moons ago, jealousy, jealousy…”
“Eating up at me,” Jimin finishes with a smile.
Jungkook looks at Namjoon, his perfect dimpled tall boyfriend. Then looks at Jimin, his perfect crescent moon eyes tiny boyfriend. Then, he looks at the moon. A month ago he was ready to dick his way to the center of the earth and find the lizards just so he wouldn’t have to see Namjoon and Jimin together anymore because it burned in his heart.
Now, he can feel the pressure of their hands against his, and the heat of their bodies by his side. The scent of their perfume, the sound of their breath. And in all its simplicity, Jungkook believes that he has found his safe haven.
“I’m glad you’re mine now,” he says. “And that I’ll never have to feel jealousy again. That shit sucks.”
“It really does,” Namjoon and Jimin agree almost simultaneously.
They remain lying down on the grass for a long time. Their hands get sweaty. But they don’t let go.