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The color red used to be my favorite color.
Yet, as it leaked from my neck, I couldn't help but hate it.
It hurts.
Why? Why is this happening?
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.
.
Is Tubbo alright? Ranboo?
My thoughts wander and it gets harder to breathe, I can feel my lungs expanding slowly, trying to get the air I need. But the wound on my neck, slowly bleeding out, is making it difficult as it clogs my throat.
Is this it? Is this how I really die?
By Dream? After all the shit I went through, and it ends with him?
The TNT sparked and destroyed everything. Dream blew up the mansion Ranboo, Tubbo, Michael and I were living in. His reason? He wanted to teach me a lesson. .
.
.
Why?!
Why would he hurt Tubbo and Ranboo?! They did nothing!
Why hurt me?!
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.
Actually…
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.
.
Maybe I deserved it...
But not Tubbo or Ranboo, they didn't deserve to die.
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.
Before he set off the TNT, he slashed his sword across my neck, and ender pearled out of the building. Thankfully Michael wasn't here, he was at Puffy’s house for a play date with Michelle. I can only hope that Tubbo and Ranboo are alright.
Each breath I am able to take feels like I'm setting my body on fire. Every movement I make stabs my body with needle pin pricks in pain. Yet after a few minutes… It slowly starts to fade, no longer as painful as before.
My arms feel numb, but I still move my hand to my neck. The wet, warm, and gross sticky feeling does nothing as I only feel empty.
This is it. This is where it ends.
I pull back my arm and raise it to my face. I stare at the red stained hands, and the blood drips onto my face. I feel disgusted by the sight and move my arm away from my sight, but then I feel the strength leave my body and my arm falls limply to my side.
My body aches. I can't feel my legs. Were they crushed? But…what from? I… I can't remember. Why does my body hurt? Why am I bleeding? I'm tired, my eyes feel heavy… I'll just have a quick nap… and… and then I'll… find… Who was I looking for again? … Why do I feel so cold?
.
.
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“Tommy!”
Huh? Who…?
“Tommy! Stay with me!”
The voice is louder now, and I can feel hands grasping me, with anxiousness and distress in the person's voice they call out my name several times.
I slowly open my eyes, tired but curious as to who this person is.
Wait, when did I close my eyes?
My eyes are blurred, and I squint to make out the blurry figure.
“Tommy! Please keep your eyes open! Ranboo! Hurry!”
The figure calls over his shoulder. I turn my head to look at what the figure was looking at, but the sudden searing pain makes me stop and I let out a pained groan. The figure seems to grow more distressed at that and I feel a hand press onto my neck, trying to stop the blood. I wonder whose hand it was.
My vision slowly begins to clear, and I feel myself relax at the blurry figure fading into the form of Tubbo. Tubbo has blood dripping down his face, seemingly having a head injury. His face is covered in soot, and his clothes are smeared with blood. His expression is full of fear and distress. He was the one whose hand was holding my neck, his face was red and looked as if he was trying to hold back tears. His hair is messy and all over the place. I can't help but remember that his hair used to be even messier when we rolled down the flower field hills when we were younger. Or when Wilbur ruffled his hair affectionately after we convinced him to play with us.
“Tubbo…?” I whisper softly, and Tubbo quickly stutters out.
“Y-yes! Toms, it's Tubbo! You're going to be alright! Ranboo is almost here with the first aid!”
I can't help but wince at how loud he is, and my ears ring loudly. I hear rushed steps and Ranboo finally enters the side of my vision. He looks frazzled and has a few bruises on his face along with dirty soot as well. They both seem to wince as they look at my legs.
“Tommy! I'm here, we will get you all fixed up, don't worry! Can you feel your legs?”
Ranboo questions hastily, his tail swaying back and forth rapidly in anxiety. It eventually comes to curl around my arm.
Before I answer, a sudden painful cough passes my lips, and a warm sticky feeling splatters on my chin. Both Ranboo and Tubbo shriek in fear and Ranboo quickly wipes away the blood with a cloth.
“... No …” I whisper quietly after a few moments of silence as they wait for my answer.
Tubbo looks at Ranboo in fear and urgency, and Ranboo turns to me.
“It's gonna be okay Tommy! Hold on!”
Ranboo and Tubbo begin to press on to my wounds, yet…I can't feel them. The pain is beginning to fade.
“Fuck! Tommy, don't you dare close your eyes! You hear me!?” Tubbo shouts desperately, fear leaking through his voice.
Oh, my eyes were almost closed, I didn't notice. Everything is starting to get fuzzy. I know that their attempts were useless. I was dying, and there was nothing they could do. My whole body is numb, but I muster up the rest of my strength to grasp my hand onto Ranboo's forearm. Both of them freeze.
“Tommy…?” Ranboo whispers out softly, his eyes wide.
I squeeze my hand softly around Ranboo’s forearm, and I stare deeply into his eyes. I then turn to Tubbo with sad eyes.
“Tubbo-” I start but Tubbo interrupts me. “No! You're going to be alright!”
“Tubbo-” “No! Don't you dare say-!”
“Tubbo!” Ranboo butts in suddenly, his face stern. He then said seriously and calmly. “Let Tommy speak.”
“Thanks Boo.” I say with a strained smile. I move my eyes to study their faces. My eyes roam to Ranboo’s slight purple freckles, and his ruby and emerald eyes. I always admired the color and how when he smiled, they would scrunch up a bit, it's hard to believe this will probably be the last time I'll see them.
My eyes slide over to Tubbo, even with his scarred face, I can't help but always thought he looked beautiful. His smile was always bright, and his laugh always made me smile in return. Tubbo’s happiness was contagious.
I remember when we all were playing with Michael in the flower fields, and we made each other flower crowns. I was teaching Michael how to braid the flowers together. We were sitting under the tree on top of the hill, and when I glanced over at Tubbo and Ranboo, they had the softest smiles as they watched us. This was the first time I've seen them so happy in a while.
I can't help but smile at that memory, and I finally speak.
“I'm not going to make it Toby.”
I watch as tears begin to fall down Tubbo's face, I wish I could wipe them away. Ranboo is in a similar state, his tears burning his face, as he chokes on his words, clearly trying to hold back his words as I speak.
“Don't cry, it's alright. I'll be okay. It's my time, you guys don't need me anymore.”
Ranboo’ hand tightens around mine; he looks distraught at my words. Tubbo pipes up, his hand holding my other.
“No Tommy, I need you, We need you! Michael needs you! He needs his uncle Mimi!”
Tubbo’s voice is rushed, trying to convince me that they need me. Tears are falling faster down his face and he pulls me close to him. Ranboo moves closer and he holds my hand to his face. He was trying to hide his face from me, but he didn't want to let go of my hand.
Some tears leak from my eyes, warm and sticky. Or is that blood? I can't tell anymore. Everything is getting blurrier, and it's getting harder to keep my eyes open.
“You'll be okay, you guys will get through it. You always have.” I say with a small smile, I know they will be alright. They will get over my death.
I can't help but smile, as my vision begins to fade. I see Tubbo’s mouth moving, but I can't seem to hear him.
I'm tired.
My vision fades until my eyes slowly lose their shine. I take one final breath, and whisper out quietly.
“I love you guys.”
Then everything fades to black.
The last few minutes of my conscience were memories of my family. Phil and I baking cookies when I was younger and having a flour fight. Techno reading me bedtime stories after I had a nightmare and crept into his room. Wilbur playing and singing his songs to me as his first audience. Tubbo and I planting flowers in the backyard of his mansion. Ranboo and I playfully fighting with each other as we cooked dinner for our family. Micheal and I watching the snow fall through the window of his room.
I smile internally, and my last conscious thought was; “Damn, I'm really going to miss being with them.”
~
Tubbo’s screams of anguish echoed throughout the destruction, and Ranboo's cries stained the ears of those near.
In the distance, Dream smiles.
~
They will always miss Tommy, their dearest friend. They visit his grave once every few days. A cobblestone cross, that said,
“R.I.P”
“Tommyinnit”
“Forever missed and Loved.”
As Michael grew, he slowly began to understand where his Uncle Mimi went, and left flower crowns on his grave.
Tubbo placed Tommy’s compass on his grave and kept his so it would point to where his other half was.
Ranboo planted some Allium flowers around Tommy’s grave, to remember when they first met.
If the grave had a long black feather placed at the bottom, and crows visited daily leaving shiny gifts. Nobody said anything.
If the grave had an emerald earring placed on the cross, and a golden apple placed in front of it. Nobody said anything.
If the grave had a book full of musical lyrics placed next to it, that was old and slowly deteriorating in age. Nobody said anything
And if the grave had a small smiley face carved behind it, out of view. Nobody noticed.
~
And if a woman with a beautiful smile and long brown hair held a golden-haired boy close and kissed his head in greeting. Happily talking with the boy and welcoming him warmly. Nobody but them would know.
~END