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Remus can feel the throbbing headache pulse within him. He is currently sprawled out on the couch in the Gryffindor common room. Both of his arms cover his face as he wants to drown out the area around him. Luckily there is only one other person in the room who is occupied with a book, oblivious to Remus’ suffering. Remus does not mind though, not many have a clue of the pain he endures.
Just a couple more days until the full moon takes hold of Remus. Every month as the moon grows fuller by the day, Remus has a period of two-four days prior to his transformation of internal suffering. This includes massive headaches, fatigue, insomnia, and increased pain in his joints. It was hell, absolute hell.
Remus could not go to the dorm room, where he would ultimately see Sirius, Peter, and James. The boys would do everything in their power to make him happy but Remus would likely get agitated. He loves them, truly, just needs a break from the loudness every once and a while.
They will be present during the moon and after, though. Especially Sirius who was ever present, always lurking, and a welcome comfort by his side. Right now, Remus does not need comfort through the pain, he needs a distraction.
“Get your feet off of the couch, it’s uncouth.”
Remus nearly fell off the couch at the sudden words. It startled him a little to hear the words of Lily Evans.
He groans, not wanting to move his arms from shielding his eyes. “Jesus christ, Lily. Let me lay down in peace.”
“Can’t do that until you get your feet off the couch. Actually, can you move over please?” Her voice dripped with cheerfulness. She did this often, pulling Remus out of his thoughts by being brutally kind and warm, it somehow worked though.
Remus sighs, not having it in him to say no to the red-head. Her aura is almost as illuminating as James. Which explains why her and the dark-haired boy work so well together as a couple. Remus wanted to vomit just thinking about it, his head pulsing like a vice and irritation of his bones not helping.
Remus sits up, legs now off the couch, touching the floor. His eyes are no longer shielding his arms. Lily plops next to him, her hair shining in the morning light. The werewolf feels a small touch on his back that is so endearing, especially when it came from Lily.
Lily breaks the silence with a softness that reels him in, “That bad this time, huh?”
“Yeah, It’s always bad but this time-” A ring in his ears interrupts him as he grabs his temples with both his hands. Hoping for any sense of relief.
“Are there any potions that can help alleviate the headaches and aid after your transformations?”
Remus' voice speaks softly despite the pain throughout his body. “No, I mean yes, but I’ve grown accustomed to them all. I have used every single potion the wizarding world has to offer, there is nothing left for me to try. Nothing left that will work.”
Ever since the age of five, Remus has had the pleasures of meeting thousands of doctors from the wizarding world. Lyall Lupin was itching for any way to cure his son of his ailment. Hope Lupin just wanted him to live, but encouraged her husband to find ways to help her son through the pain. They searched everywhere for cures and aids for his lycanthropy. Any substance they came across, Remus had no choice but to take it in order to feed into his parents delusions that he will be free from it, that he will be fine. Remus, as young as he was, knew better. Remus was never fine and he will never be cured.
“How about we resort to some good old muggle remedies then.” Lily goes to ruffle through her small brown purse that lays at her side. She pulls out a small white bottle then drops it in Remus’ hand. “Here.”
Remus stares at the bottle, face scrunching up in confusion as he reads the title, “Lily?”
“Yes?”
“Did you just give me Asprin?” He stares at the red-head in disbelief.
She nods seriously, “I don’t see how that is an issue.”
“Lily, it won't work. If countless wizard potions made from the finest potion brewers don’t work, you think Aspirin will?” Remus lets out a laugh at the absurdity. He may be coming across as a bit rude, he chalks it up to his nerves surrounding the full moon.
“Well, have you tried it before?”
Remus thinks for a moment, “Oddly enough, no.”
“Then give it a try. It helps me a lot when I have pain back home and cannot just brew a potion. Mum always gives me Aspirin and some water. Works like a charm every time.” A smile etches on her face as she talks. Always endearing, always Lily.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
He caves, “Alright.” Remus gets up to grab some water from a pitcher nearby. He opens that small container, taking a white pill and drowning it down with the water. He goes back to his place next to Lily, then waits a few moments. “It’s not working.”
The red-head barked out a laugh, “It is not instantaneous like potions, Remus. Have you never tried muggle medicine before?”
Remus shakes his head.
Lily cocks her slightly, her demeanor changing. It was clear she chose her next words carefully, “Did your mother not give you any medicine?”
“Nah, she was told it would not work so they always gave me the finest wizard medicine available. Perfectly handcrafted and carefully put together for me. She was always there by my side though before and after the transformation. Mum knows just how to help me when I get like this.” He says with an ache apparent that he misses his mother. She never really knew what to make of the wizarding world. Her words when she discovered that Remus was attacked still echo in his head. That sentence provides him comfort still today.
“Well, that’s okay. I think wolves are rather beautiful creatures. We’ll be okay.” Hope said in a way to calm her child down as he winced at her changing his fresh bandages.
It worked because he relaxed under her touch.
“What do you guys do?” Lily said, breaking Remus out of his thoughts.
“Well, we normally just lie on the bed, listen to music, and eat chocolate croissants. Her favorite music is the Beatles and recently she has found a liking for ABBA.” Remus’ beams a little at the thought of his mother. A woman who loves her son unconditionally, never leaving his side despite never understanding what he was going through. Which is a huge contrast to Lyall who could not bear to look at him without shame.
“Let’s do that then.” Lily stated like it was a fact, that she will not take no for an answer.
“What?”
“If it helps, let's do it. Although we may not be able to find chocolate croissants, I am sure there are other sweets in the kitchens. Oh, I do have some Beatles and ABBA albums in my room we can listen to as well.” She was excited as she spoke, adamant about it even.
Remus looks shocked, frowning mildly, “Lily… I can’t ask that of you.”
“You didn't, I offered.”
“Lily, still, you do not need to do that.”
“Remus, let me help where I can, please? The boys are there with you during and after your transformation, let me be there for you before.” Remus can’t say no to her because this girl who is so light and fierce is desperate to help him. He supposes she has been, since she noticed the scars appear on his face once a month or the absences from class all those years ago.
The brown-haired boy concedes, letting her in. He will give her this. “Okay, you can help.”
“Alright, it’s settled then.” Lily claps her hands together in excitement, already plotting how to get all the materials.
+
That is how Remus and Lily found themselves laying on the bed with a basket full of muffins. Some were chocolate, banana, blueberry, and cinnamon-raisin. ABBA plays through the room, allowing Remus to not focus on the battle within himself but the joy in the lyrics. Daylight filtered through the curtains, providing them with warmness.
After a few moments of laying down, relishing in bites of his muffin, Remus realizes his headache is long gone. Huh.
“Lily?” Remus asks after swallowing a bite of his chocolate muffin. His head slightly turns to face her.
“Hmm?” Lily turns her head as well, mouth full of banana muffin.
“I think that Aspirin is working”
Lily nearly chokes on her muffin in laughter. She swallows the muffin though without fail and cackles, “I told you!”
“You did, I was not expecting it to work. Out of all things, Aspirin cures my headaches.”
“Never underestimate Aspirin, it does wonders for me during my cycle.”
Refus guffaws at that, “You gave me something that you use when you have a period?”
Lily scoffs then grins, “It’s a pain reliever, all the same. Technically, you are on your cycle so…”
Remus rolls his eyes at that, “You're annoying.”
“I’m serious, I am surprised our cycles have not synced.” She teases.
As a response to that, Remus takes a pillow and wacks it at Lily. Her muffin that was still in her hand falls to the floor.
Lily gasps, “My muffin! Remus John Lupin, you will pay for that.” She takes a pillow and enacts her revenge. His muffin was long gone though, having eaten it before their small fight. That did not stop her from repeatedly beating him with a pillow. He did not mind though since he started it. The werewolf was in a fit of laughter as she pummeled the pillow relentlessly.
“Okay, truce! I call a truce!” Remus’ hands are now up in surrender. Lily lays down the pillow back on the bed, eyeing him suspiciously until laying back down next to him.
“You’re lucky we have more muffins, Lupin.” She grumbles, taking another muffin from the basket.
“Where are your roommates?”
“Lucille hates us, so she moved to a new dorm room a month ago. Marlene is with Dorcas and Mary is with someone, don’t know who though. She has been pretty tight lipped about it.” Remus nods his head at that in acknowledgement, good for Mary honestly.
“Ah. Well it’s nice you have the room to yourself.”
“Yeah it is. I don’t like being alone that much though, if I am being honest.”
Remus raises an eyebrow, “Really?”
“Really, I’m used to always having someone there. As a child, it was me and my sister, then me and Severus, then me and any of my friends I made here at Hogwarts. I mean, I like my alone time as much as anyone but just not for too long, you know?”
“Actually, I am quite the opposite. I love hanging out but sometimes, I need some time to regenerate, I guess? It’s all about what we thrive on really.”
“You managed to surround yourself with a bunch of extroverts though.” Lily says, the muffin now completely eaten.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way. Even if I barely get a moment of silence, you guys mean a lot to me.”
“Aw, Remus, you mean a lot to all of us too.” She nudges his side with her elbow.
“I know.” Remus says, his lips turned upward into a smile.
After a beat, another song by ABBA blares through the room.
Honey honey, how you thrill me, a-ha, honey honey
Lily beams as soon as the song comes on. She is obviously thinking of James, the boy who got on her nerves at first but slowly made his way into her heart. James was like that for a lot of people. Even Remus who was shy, keeping to himself, fearful of what others would think of him being a werewolf. It took one train ride for any barriers Remus built after years of being ignored by his father and witnessing the passiveness in his mother, for James to tear that all down. His aura erupted the train car in laughter that settled around them. Remus thought, this is not so bad, I have nothing to fear.
“Ew, you're so in love, I’m gonna throw up.”
Lily playfully slaps him lightly on the shoulder, “Oh hush, let me smile about my boyfriend. This song just reminds me of him.”
“You can smile all you want, it doesn't make me not want to puke less.”
“You don’t hear me saying that to you when you talk about your boyfriend?”
Remus’ cheeks tinge pink at that. “You’re right.”
“Is there not a song that reminds you of him?”
“Good old-fashioned lover boy by Queen.” Remus speaks up without skipping a beat.
“Ew, I’m going to throw up.” Lily mocks, making a point to pretend to hurl.
“Ha. Very funny Lily.”
“Thanks, I’m hilarious.”
“Sure, as your best friend, I support whatever you say.” Lily smiles fondly at that, knowing that Remus is just teasing.
There is silence after that though, except for the music. Still having that way of wrapping them peacefully, making everything easy. It’s nice to be next to Lily and have his spirits lifted. As if he does not have a full moon to endure in a few days. It never gets easier, the pain is now numb to him after years of being repeatedly torn apart. However, being surrounded by his friends, especially Sirius, made it manageable. He always thought he could never manage it, but he has.
Remus decides to be the one to break the silence this time. “I really do love Sirius. No matter how much he infuriates me, no matter how much he fucks up, I can never not love him. That boy means a great deal to me. There is fear inside of me though, that I may lose him one day.”
“What makes you think that?”
“I don’t know. One day he may get tired of me, tired of having someone so broken in his life.”
“I am going to be pretty blunt about this, but you know Sirius does come with his own set of trauma, right? We all have baggage so heavy but when someone is there to help us carry it, it makes things all the easier.”
“Yeah I know. What if Sirius gets tired of helping me carry it?” Remus fumbles with his hands, the tips of his ears red when speaking about this sensitive topic.
“You know that boy never gets tired of anything? Once he starts something, he has to finish it. You’re the same, don’t think I haven’t noticed. You guys are both in this for the long haul. It will not be easy, but it will surely be a journey worth taking.”
Remus takes a moment to let her words settle in before speaking, “Oh, you’re good.”
“And don’t you forget it.” She sits up, now crossing her legs together.
“I won’t. I could never forget you, Lily Evans.”
Another small beat of silence surrounds them, not awkward, no animosity. Just peaceful silence, the album now changed to a different song.
“Can I paint your nails?” Lily asks.
“Sure.” Remus has had his nails done before, often a request from Sirius, only opting for lighter colors in contrast to the dark one Sirius paints on his fingers. Remus lets him, knowing it can calm Sirius down in moments of darkness. Now, it’s different. He allows Lily, because he knows it will calm him down.
“What color are you thinking?” Lily says, narrowing her eyes slightly.
Remus does not have to think long, taking a page out of boyfriend’s book, “Black.”
“Oh, Sirius is going to swoon.”
“Yeah, that is the plan.”
Lily hops off the bed and grabs her supplies.
+
It’s likely been a few hours of just them hanging out together. Remus no longer has that painful headache, his bones feeling less irritated, and fatigue now only lingers like a phantom. He feels almost normal, not completely, just almost and that is okay.
He stares at his nails, smiling to himself. Lily is now reading a book. Her hair is braided down her back, something Remus offered to do.
A knock brings both of them out of the peace they surrounded themselves in.
“Oi, Evans! Have you seen Moony?” It’s Sirius, pounding at the door. Remus looks at Lily rolling his eyes at his boyfriend’s behavior. The brown-haired boy walks up to the door, cracking it slightly. Sirius looks relieved to see Remus, “There you are. Is everything alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Just needed some distraction, that's all.” His hand rests on the door.
Sirius' eyes stop when he sees Remus’ nails, “Are your nails black?”
“Yes.” Remus tells him, grinning widely.
“That’s, um, wow.” Sirius seems like he has to catch his breath. “That’s, uh, quite something.”
Remus teases Sirius a little, hoping to make him blush, “Is that all you have to say?”
“What do you want me to say? That’s hot?” There it is, Sirius blushing. Cheeks now red, ears burning deeply.
“Yes, that is exactly what I wanted. Bye, love you!” He closes the door, ignoring Sirius’ protests, then turns his attention back to Lily who is staring at him. She gives a look that says, oh, you've done it now .
“You know, he's just going to run to get James and we will have no choice but to let them both in, right?”
“I know, let’s just enjoy the silence while we have it.”
“Alright.” She says, picking up the book, reading where she left off.
“Also,” He starts, but Remus is lost on what to say but knows he needs to at least say this to her. Let Lily know how much this meant to him. “Thanks for today, I, uh, greatly appreciate this. You’re a saint, honestly.”
Lily gives him that smile that lets him know, she is glad. “No, I just care a lot about you Remus and you’re welcome. We should make this a tradition.”
The werewolf’s eyes went wide, then nodded rapidly. “I’d like that a lot.”
Yeah, it won’t be perfect but he’ll be okay. He has Lily to help him now.