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After thirty years of the same old view, it was nice to get out for a change.
Gaston relished the change in scenery as Belle carried him around Camelot. He was comfortable and secure in the glass jar the kind nun had given his former fiancée, and he relished seeing real knights in action again.
It had been many years since he had held a sword, but Gaston was sure that, had he arms and legs, he would be able to hold his own against any knight of the Round Table.
It was rather nice to spend time with Belle away from the Dark One, too. He had seen way too much of Rumplestiltskin in the past few years, and he meant that in every sense of the phrase. Had he known how open-minded Belle was when it came to the physical aspects of a relationship, he would have asked for her hand in marriage much sooner.
As it stood, he didn’t have much hope of rekindling his romance with Belle anytime soon. He knew she would drop the Imp the moment he was restored to his rightful size and species. But as a man in the peak of his physical prowess, Gaston figured he could certainly do better than the ex-wife of the Dark One.
The glass of his jar muffled sound fairly well, which resulted in Gaston having to strain his – well, having to strain to hear the conversations that were going on around him. He understood that they were in Camelot to look for the legendary wizard, Merlin. He also knew that it had something to do with the Dark One, though he had yet to see Rumplestiltskin, for which he was immensely grateful.
There was a stunning blonde that kept slinking around as they went about their adventure. She gave off an air of danger that he found slightly alluring. There was something vaguely familiar about her, but he didn’t think he’d ever seen her before. He hadn’t gotten a lot of visitors at the dining room table over the years, unfortunately.
Even when the house had been broken into years back, he’d been knocked to the floor almost immediately. Not only had his favorite vase shattered, but he’d been unable to see the goings on in the house following the robbery. Rumplestiltskin had finally found him a week later. He’d shoved him into a horrid looking vase – one that did nothing for his rosy complexion – and put him back on the table without so much as a “How are you, Gaston? Your bloom is looking rather excellent today.”
Things had gotten better once Belle moved in. She’d changed his water regularly and put him in a much nicer vase. Sure he had to view the occasional table sex in exchange, but he usually just thought of his sword collection at times like those and ignored the spectacle before him.
All in all, life had become much more bearable while in Camelot. When the gang finally returned to Storybrooke, bringing along several of their new friends, Gaston figured he would be headed back to his boring old tabletop soon.
Instead, Belle brought him to a strange looking shop, full of old clocks and dust, and scary looking puppets. As much as he didn’t want to be stuck in the dining room again, he almost felt impatient to get home.
One of the puppets was looking at him funny. He really didn’t like the look in its eye.
All of the sudden, a whoosh of brilliant white light shot towards him, sending his jar skittering off the counter and crashing to the ground.
From his vantage point on the floor, he could see more white lights raining down around the shop. Belle was sitting on a cot holding Rumplestiltskin, who looked like he had just woken up after a very long nap. The two gazed at each other happily before they brought their lips together and began smooching with wild abandon.
The next three hours were agonizing. Even thoughts of his treasured sword collection couldn’t drown out the loud noises being made from across the room.
In the coming days, Gaston would come to miss the relative quietness of his little dining room. Sure it had on occasion been used for inappropriate means, but overall, it had been a place of solace.
The pawnshop apparently was not.
Rumplestiltskin and his wife went at it like rabbits. Gaston knew this was a correct description because he had been, as many would have told you in the Enchanted Forest, an incredibly talented hunter. He held on to the hope that eventually the two would tire themselves out.
After all, Gaston assured himself, the sorcerer was over 300-years-old. There was no way Rumplestiltskin would be able to keep it up for too much longer.
Unfortunately, that was not the case. Even when Belle picked him up off the ground and prepared a new vase for him, Gaston was still stuck in the pawnshop, forced to watch a neverending display of affection and nudity that never seemed to let up.
Honestly, Gaston griped to himself, do these two live here now?
He had about given up hope of ever being happy again when it happened. His savior breezed through the door one day, a dreamy smile on her face. She had long blonde hair and wore a green dress that showed of a rather enticing bosom that drew his – well, drew his attention.
She had come for some trinket or other and had cooed at how beautiful he looked. Belle had barely given him a second glance before offering to include “oh, that old thing?” along with the rest of the purchase.
The blonde, whose name turned out to be Paulette, had smiled and payed the money happily.
Gaston could barely believe it as she carried him out of the shop. He was free of Mr. and Mrs. Gold at last! No matter where his savior took him, he couldn’t imagine that it could be worse than the horrible sights he had seen at the pawnshop. If he had actual eyes, he was sure the image of Rumplestiltskin’s backside would have been burned onto his retinas long ago.
Paulette walked into a rather picturesque cottage. She gently set his vase down on the kitchen counter.
“Girls, I’m home. Come see what I found.”
A moment later, two more blonde-haired women walked into the room. Paulette gestured to Gaston.
“I picked this up at the pawnshop. Belle just threw him into the deal like she couldn’t wait to be rid of the little guy.”
One of the other blondes pulled a face. “What wrong with her?”
“She’s crazy,” the third added.
Paulette sighed happily and nodded. “He’s gorgeous!”
As the three blondes gathered around him, Gaston could feel his thorns begin to tremble.
He may be stuck as a rose, but there were worse place to be stuck than with three blonde triplets.