Chapter Text
Yoko threw an arm around Enid as her eyes followed Enid’s across the quad. “Oh c'mon you’re still not over Ajax? There’s plenty of good guys out there! How about-“
“And who says I want a good boy again? What if I want to try a bad girl next?” Enid interrupts, throwing out the exact opposite just for emphasis. By this point, Enid knew better than to argue that she was over the gorgon. It would only fall on deaf ears.
Wednesday, who’s efforts at courting Enid had gone completely awry every time, was suddenly very interested in the conversation. In fact, her misplaced stab at socialization that ended with her sitting with them was part of her plans. “I personally prefer good girls.” She stared at Enid, unblinkingly willing her to get the implication as she clasped her hands together.
Enid gasped dramatically, and Wednesday had to stop her heart from leaping in response. Instead she simply raised a brow. “You have a type??? How could you have not told me, roomie?”
Of course that’s why Enid gasped. How she got the title of the queen of gossip at Nevermore while being so oblivious was beyond Wednesday.
No, this simply would not do. What could Wednesday possibly be missing? As the Addams curse caught up to Wednesday, she felt it harder to maintain her composure. Clearly, the only way to regain her peace of mind was to get the girl.
She had tried gifts like decapitated stuffed animals or deadly weapons. Enid had screamed a beautiful blood curling sound at the stuffed animals on her bed and promptly dumped it out, only holding the stuffies by her fingertips. Then just like the aftermath of Outreach Day, Enid paced back and forth, rambling about “what type of psycho would do that”. Wednesday could only nod along. The deadly weapon that Wednesday chose to give directly to Enid, only for her to give a smile that was half a grimace. The grimace looked so gorgeous on Enid’s face, but it was obvious that in Enid’s world it meant she didn’t understand the connotations attributed to an Addams giving away one of their most prized weapons. The said weapon ended up in a box securely closed and stashed under Enid’s bed, out of sight and out of mind.
Trying to get along with Enid’s friends (yes, even the all too clever vampire best friend that Enid almost left her for) granted her Enid’s excitement and private applause for her efforts but the romantic connotation was entirely missed.
She had even gone to the movies to watch an all too colorful movie. Wednesday was almost certain she was going to go blind as an allergic reaction by the end of it.
A horrible possibility suddenly dawned on Wednesday.
Could it possibly be…? Perhaps…? What if Wednesday Addams wasn’t bad enough for Enid? Just the idea was humiliating enough for Wednesday to shoot up off the bench.
“...Wednesday?” Enid asked in an uncertain tone, not quite sure what was going on.
“I forgot something, I have to go”, Wednesday blatantly lied, speedwalking off so fast onlookers almost wondered if somebody had hit the fast forward button on Wednesday. Nobody, especially not Enid, bought the lie. Wednesday Addams forgetting something was as likely as the chances of Enid wearing all black.
-0-
Research wasn’t necessary for Wednesday’s plan. While she liked to be prepared, being nefarious was something that she took pride in. No, these plans were 100% from Wednesday’s own brain. Using somebody else’s tricks felt cheap anyway, and there was no way Wednesday was giving anything less than the most authentic effort to make Enid notice her attempts at courting the werewolf.
If Thing had lungs to sigh, he would be running out of breath from the amount of sighs given at Wednesday’s convoluted endeavors. Still, under the threat of losing a finger, Thing helped Wednesday pull together the first of her elaborate schemes.
With a skip and a hop, Divina’s shoes echoed against the stone floor of the architectural arcade surrounding the quad. Whistling a tune, she was completely oblivious of what was to come in three steps. In fact, she was just about to get to the climax of the song, opening her mouth to belt out the lyrics when there was a click underneath her foot. Looking down, all she caught was a glimpse of the Addams symbol next to the teleportation rune on the pressure plate before it was all replaced by a body of water.
Camping out near the lake with Thing on her shoulder, Wednesday smirked in triumph as Divina splashed feet first into the water. Then the smirk slowly turned into a scowl as the water rippled, a graceful siren gliding through the water back to the surface.
Indeed, in her haste, Wednesday had forgotten the possibility that her trap would catch a creature of water.
To make Wednesday’s irritation boil, Divina did a leisurely flip onto her back and started a slow backstroke across the lake, a smile splaying across her face as the sun’s gentle morning rays came down. It didn’t just make the lake sparkle, but her eyes too. It was such a detestable sight that Wednesday simply turned tail and left.
-0-
One moment Xavier was breathing in the crisp air of the grounds of Nevermore, and the next he woke up groggy, in the Nightshade’s secret room. Looming over him was Wednesday Addams herself. Attempting to sit up, he found he was shackled to a table.
“Wednesday? What’s going on? I thought we all agreed I was innocent and it was Tyler?” he asked with a frown. Xavier really thought they were over this after the whole murderous hyde situation.
Rolling her eyes, Wednesday leaned back and crossed her arms. “Nobody said being innocent was safe pass.”
“Safe? From what?” Xavier replied, still not noticing how dire his situation was. If anybody had a bad sense for danger, it was ironically Xavier Thorpe, being a psychic and all.
“The Addams family curse.”
“What’s that?” Wednesday might as well have answered in complete gibberish. Understanding each word separately apparently didn’t mean that he could understand the words when put together.
“It’s this curse upon my family. When one of us falls in love, we become enamored, obsessed even.” Wednesday scowls. “And that’s why I need Enid to notice my efforts to court her so I can stop thinking about it. When I get it out of my head, I won’t be in danger of becoming the sappy puddle that my father has become.”
Xavier’s jaw dropped. “So you’re shackling me to a table to get Enid’s attention? I hate to break it to you, Wednesday, but Enid doesn’t really care about me.”
“It’s not about you, it’s about showing Enid I can be the ‘bad girl’ that she wants. Which is why I set you up with this laser.” Finally stepping out of the way, Wednesday reveals a potent laser slowly making its way towards the table. On its current path it would cut Xavier into two perfect halves.
An undignified yelp escapes Xavier’s mouth at the sight. Turning heel, Wednesday leaves as Xavier shrieks, curses, screams, spits, and begs at her receding form. It is of no use. Once Wednesday Addams makes a decision, she sticks to it.
Xavier is crying in fear when he hears the grinding of the stone and several pairs of feet padding down the stairs. “HELP!” he cries.
The first one to step into view is Enid. “You! You need to stop your girlfriend.”
“Xavier, I don’t have a girlfriend”, Enid replied with a face that said duh . The rest of the nightshades hurried to rip the shackles off of him with their supernatural strength. That, and the giant crowbar Wednesday had used to knock Xavier out.
Bolting off the table just in time to avoid the laser that had gouged a path through half the room’s floor already, Xavier threw his hands into the air in exasperation. “No, but she wants to be, and that’s why she’s doing this! I’m out! You two are a disaster waiting to happen. I won’t be caught in this again.” Storming out, Xavier left a very confused Enid.
Standing next to her, Divina’s mouth was a perfect o. Suddenly, the symbol she had seen before her mysterious morning plummet into the lake made sense. “He’s right, Enid you’ve got to reign in your girl.”
“For the last time, I wish . But I don’t have a girlfriend”, Enid rolled her eyes.
-0-
The sun beat down on Bianca as she groggily opened her eyes to a blue sky above her. Last time she checked, she had fallen asleep in her bed in the dorm room.
Worst of all, the horn of an oncoming train bellowed loud and clear.
Yup, Bianca Barclay was tied to a railroad track. It was also a very uncomfortable railroad track compared to her mattress, and sure to stain her clothes. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
There was no question in Bianca’s mind who would do this after the fiasco with Xavier. Especially not after Divina started talking to Kent about her experience with Wednesday’s magical rune skills. While Divina might’ve been a great friend for keeping secrets, Kent was the exact opposite. This was another misguided attempt by Wednesday to woo Enid.
Meanwhile, the train roared forward without any sign of slowing down.
Grabbing the pendant of her necklace by the teeth, Bianca tosses it off her head just in time to look up, staring at the conductor through the windshield. All is lost from the conductor’s head as Bianca opens her mouth and lets out her siren song.
With the loudest creak and groan, the train grinded to a halt several feet away from Bianca.
Showing no regards for his job, the conductor jumps out of the train to untie her, eyes glazed over. Then he starts to reach out towards her.
“Thanks, but I have to go.” Bianca let the words hastily tumble out of her mouth and putting up a hand to emphasize it. Grabbing her necklace, she ran for it at full speed.
She had overused her powers once before as a kid. This was exactly like that. Anyone who the full siren song was used on became absolutely enamored with her for at least a day. It was a miracle that the conductor’s pupils hadn’t turned into a pink heart shape.
The conductor attempted to run after her, only to be pulled back by the ticket masters that had come to see what the commotion was about.
Bianca ran into the thicket, far enough to make sure she lost the conductor before she stopped, only to catch a glimpse of a telltale braid. Leaping forward to grab her wrist, Bianca risks her entire life. A blade is pressed against her throat in self defense. Wednesday is in a ready to battle stance and only relaxes when she sees that it is Bianca who has grabbed her.
Letting go of her wrist and stepping back for safety, Bianca said, “Wednesday, you can’t keep going after Enid like this.”
“I won’t be told what to do by the likes of you.” Wednesday turned as if to go.
“No, I mean why all the complicated schemes that almost kill people when you could do something simpler to get her attention?” Bianca could think of plenty of things that Enid would certainly appreciate like flowers, or maybe just a chivalrous gesture. In fact, Bianca was almost certain that if Wednesday just walked into the room, Enid’s attention would be fully on Wednesday to begin with.
Unfortunately for her, that’s not how Wednesday took it. “You’re right… Maybe my traps have been too complicated. I need to go back to the basics.” With that, Wednesday disappeared into the shadows of the woods, contemplating what basic trap she should replicate next.
-0-
Of course the most classic trap in the book was a bear trap. Who was a better target to get Enid’s attention than her closest friend besides Wednesday? Yes, Yoko was perfect. Setting up a bear trap outside Yoko’s dorm room was too easy seeing as how Yoko skipped class more often than not. The only issue was that Wednesday hadn’t expected Yoko to go in with Divina.
Consoling herself, Wednesday rationalized that two of Enid’s friends would be better than one friend for gaining Enid’s attention.
What she didn’t account for was human affection. In fact, the two of them didn’t come out that day at all. Even Wednesday, who’s eyes were used to being wide open, started to get dry eyes from watching the door. It was worse than watching rainbow paint dry ( as opposed to black paint which was enjoyable).
In the end Wednesday simply gave up, dismantling the bear trap.
It wasn’t until the next day when Wednesday was long gone that Divina and Yoko came out of the room, hair and clothes messed up in a way that made no room for doubt about what they had done in the room.
-0-
Seeing as the bear trap didn’t work, Wednesday decided to go even simpler.
After strategically placing a banana peel as a trap, Wednesday sits herself down with Enid. Her eyes are trained on the spot, watching as Ajax appears, getting closer and closer. Her hands clench from their place in her lap underneath the table in anticipation. Against her will, her heart beats faster at the idea that finally, finally, Enid would notice her courting attempts.
Then he slips, and everything goes wrong. Ajax’s hat goes flying off, and Wednesday. who had been watching and waiting for her trap to work, couldn’t look away fast enough.
In her frozen, stoned, state, Wednesday finally decided traps probably weren’t the best course of action. No, she’d have to go bigger. That is, once the stoning wore off.