Archive of Our Own ^beta

-¤-

The small piece of plastic was heavy in his pocket and Jensen wasn't sure how one little fake ID could weigh that much. He was pretty sure Josh wouldn't have helped him get it had he known just what his little brother was planning to do with it, but what was done was done and it wasn't like Jensen had any plans to tell him; he had just accepted the gift and headed back to his freshman year of college with his mind set.

But as it turned out, making plans and actually following through with them was hard, as Jensen realized when he stood outside Entrance, taking in the neon sign and the people dressed in clothes that looked like they were painted on. His own clothes had felt almost like too much when he got dressed in his lonely dorm room and for the first time he had been happy that Mark had dropped out, leaving Jensen alone in a room intended for two. But compared to the people waiting in line, Jensen felt almost overdressed. Taking a deep breath he walked up to the line of people waiting outside and he could feel their eyes on him when he placed himself among them, eyeing the big bouncer who just stood with his arms crossed, not letting anyone inside.

"Damn," he mumbled to himself.

It would be just his luck to build up courage for months only to not even be let inside; he really doubted he would dare to go there a second time.

"You, there," a voice called out but Jensen ignored it, certain whoever was talking didn't mean him. "Hey, pretty boy, back of the line."

At that Jensen looked up and behind him, but there was no one standing there and when he looked forward again the bouncer was nodding at him and waving him forward, past the people waiting outside.

"ID?" The guy asked when Jensen stopped in front of him.

Jensen forced himself to stay calm when he held up the small card for the man's inspection and he couldn't stop himself from breathing a sigh of relief when the man grinned and pulled the rope aside to let him in.

"Enjoy yourself," he said with a smile that was too close to a leer for Jensen's comfort.

A quick look back at the line showed him some of the people glaring at him but a few were eyeing him openly and even though that was why Jensen had come there to begin with, he couldn't stop a slight blush from creeping up his neck and he ducked his head when he walked inside. The dance music that had been trickling its way outside was nothing compared to what slammed against him when he took the few steps into the confines of the club, loud enough to make Jensen stop in his track for a moment before he ventured further inside. Walking into the throng of people inside, Jensen felt hands stroking his side, some of them daringly patting his ass but whenever he turned around everyone seemed focused on others and Jensen didn't really know what to make of it all.

It wasn't until he had managed to work himself over to the bar and order himself a beer, without blushing as he did so, that he realized that his plan hadn't really gone further than getting into the club; somehow he had thought that everything would work itself out after that but where his lack of a gaydar prevented him from flirting at school, his own shyness prevented him from saying anything at the club even though he knew it was likely at least someone would be interested.

"Damn," he mumbled once more and took a sip from his beer, trying not to show how new he was to the bitter liquid.

"It's a bit much to take in, isn't it?"

The voice was close enough to be heard even above the loud thumping of music, close enough to make Jensen jump and almost spill his beer.

"Oh, sorry about that."

Jensen looked over the the owner of the voice and found a guy leaning against the bar next to him, a beer in hand and his gaze alternating between Jensen and the dance floor behind him.

"It's... a lot..." Jensen agreed hesitantly, coughing and taking another sip of beer when his throat felt too dry.

It was more than Jensen had expected, the people and the music and the sultry atmosphere of the club not something he had been able to prepare himself for and he couldn't help but wonder if maybe it was more than he could actually handle. The guy beside him seemed to radiate ease and comfort though and when he angled himself away from the dance floor, focusing on Jensen, it became obvious to Jensen how hot the guy was.

"I somehow guess this is your first time here?" he said and leaned in closer to make sure Jensen heard him.

Jensen felt the too-familiar blush creep up his cheeks but he still nodded and shifted in his seat until he could see the guy better and when he smiled Jensen let his gaze drop from shining brown hair and deep dimples to take in a body with muscles that strained against the simple grey v-neck he was wearing and the faded jeans that hung low on narrow hips.

"Yeah," he said, wincing slightly when he heard how hoarse his voice sounded. "First time here."

"I figured," the man said. "I think I had the same look the first time I came here as well."

His smile was easy and comfortable and despite the environment they were in Jensen found himself relaxing.

"Oh, where're my manners," the man said then. "I'm Jared."

"Jensen, uh... hi."

Jared laughed and took a swig of his beer, lips still stretched into a smile around the neck of his bottle and that image made something throb deep inside Jensen, a sharp reminder of just why he had come to the club.

"Hi," Jared said and put his beer down on the counter in favor of shaking Jensen's hand. "I guess I'm your guide for the evening."

"Guide?" Jensen said and he wondered if the man was flirting with him or if he really was that nice; it was a hard thing to tell for someone that wasn't used to flirting at all. "Bar, dance floor, not sure there's a lot of guiding to be done here."

Jared tilted his head to the side and looked at Jensen for a moment before he grinned wide, flashing dimples once more.

"Oh, but I could show you the toilets, or the back room; there's where the interesting things happen, after all," he said and his leer was so over the top that it made Jensen laugh.

"That was..."

"Too much?" Jared filled in. "It really was, but at least I'm funny."

After that Jensen didn't really know how long they sat at the bar, Jared talking just loud and close enough for Jensen to be able to hear and the man was a fountain of information and gossip and more than once did he make Jensen laugh as he told stories and pointed out people in the crowd. Jared had pulled up a barstool next to Jensen and he sat slightly too close for Jensen to be able to see it as something purely friendly but he still couldn't tell just how interested Jared was. Whatever lewd suggestions he did make were so over the top that Jensen couldn't really take them seriously.

"And now, for something completely different," Jared said and Jensen couldn't hold back another smile.

"Oh, really?" he asked, reaching for his beer only to find the bottle empty, again.

"Yeah, I think we should talk about you," Jared said with a grin. "I'm sure there's a lot of stories to tell there, I mean, you're a male model after all, right?"

Jensen rolled his eyes and shook his head, and in an attempt to pull attention away from his heated cheeks he motioned to the bartender for another beer.

"Not exactly," he said with a smile. "I'm a student at UT, um...physical therapy."

It was an easy lie, Jensen knew what he wanted to study, after all it had been the very reason he had moved to San Antonio for college. Not too far from home and yet far enough that he could live his own life. It wasn't a big lie, but it still made Jensen feel slightly guilty.

"Oh, that's awesome," Jared exclaimed. "I'm guessing you give awesome massages, then?"

Jensen started coughing then and fumbled for his beer, taking a few quick swallows of it to clear his throat and when he looked back Jared had a frown on his face.

"You okay there?"

"Yeah," Jensen said with a nod. "I just got over a case of pneumonia and... I still cough some. But don't worry, I took all the antibiotics and I promise I'm not contagious."

It wasn't until the words were out that he realized just how they sounded and he groaned, hiding his flaming face in his hands.

"Now that is good to know," Jared said but it wasn't laughter Jensen heard in his voice, it was something very different.

Looking up Jensen saw that Jared's eyes had darkened and the man slid down from his stool, moving closer to Jensen until he could rest one hand on Jensen's hip and the simple touch was enough for Jensen's breath to catch in his throat. He had to take a few deep breaths to steady himself before he looked up at Jared and it wasn't until that moment that it fully registered how huge Jared was. Jensen was in no way small, but seeing how Jared towered over him he was quite sure Jared could manhandle him with ease. The thought was enough for a surge of arousal to rise within him and even though his heart fluttered wildly in his chest he reached out to rest one hand on Jared's strong shoulder.

"I'm reading this right?" Jared asked. "There's something here, isn't there?"

Jensen knew then that Jared had really been flirting with him, and the knowledge had him smiling before he tilted his head back and balanced himself with one hand on Jared and one on the counter of the bar as he pushed up and brushed his lips against Jared's ever so slightly.

"There is," he admitted.

"Do you..." Jared started and he hesitated a moment before he went on. "I live really close by, do you maybe want to come home with me?"

When he had decided to go to the club, losing his virginity was one of the main reasons for him but sitting there with the choice right in front of him he found himself hesitating and he tossed a look out over the dance floor. The music was just as loud as when he had arrived, but where before people had at least tried to make it look like dancing, it had instead turned into something that looked more like vertical mating. The difference between those people, some of them dressed in clothing so skimpy it was barely there to begin with, and the calming presence of Jared beside him made the decision much easier and when he turned back to Jared it was with a smile on his lips.

"Yeah," he said and slid off the chair. "I'm...yeah, I'd like that."

Jared didn't say another word, he just emptied the last of his beer and Jensen barely had time to copy the movement before a big hand gripped his and Jared led the two of them across the dance floor and outside into the night air. It was an unusually warm night, but warm or not it was still January in Texas and they were both underdressed and Jensen was grateful for Jared's warm body close to his.

"Really, it's not far," he said when they moved past the bouncer and crossed the street. "Just a few minutes."

The noise from Entrance faded away only to be replaced by the rush of blood in Jensen's ears and he could feel his heart race faster with each step they took. He was just about to stop and pull away when Jared came to a halt quick enough for Jensen to stumble before he could stop himself.

"Hey, there," Jared laughed and steadied him. "If you wanna follow in my footsteps, at least wait until I've vacated them, okay?"

Jensen was about to answer when Jared's big hand cupped his jaw and tilted his head back enough for Jared to easily claim his mouth in a soft kiss that quickly turned wet and dirty. It wasn't Jensen's first kiss, but it was the first one that held a promise of more and he arched up into it as Jared wrapped one strong arm around his waist to pull him even closer.

"We should..get inside..." Jared breathed against his lips and Jensen almost stumbled when Jared let go of him in favor of opening the door they were standing next to.

Stepping inside Jensen was struck by the very difference between his life and Jared's, because instead of entering an apartment complex like he had expected, he found himself standing in a hallway with a coat rack right next to him and he realized that whoever Jared was, he was someone with enough money to own a house not far from the city core.

"Bedroom is this way," Jared said and pulled Jensen along with him, not bothering to show the rest of the house so all Jensen got to see was the hallway, a quick glimpse of a dark living room and the stairs leading up to the next floor. They weren't even at the top of the stairs before Jared stopped once more, pushing Jensen up against the wall and kissing him until they were both breathless with it.

"I don't really...do this..." Jensen managed to get out, clinging to Jared to keep himself on his feet.

"Me neither," Jared groaned. "But fuck, I want to have you. I can make exceptions."

"No," Jensen protested when Jared pulled him up the rest of the stairs and manhandled him through a door and into a bedroom. "I mean...wait..."

To his surprise, Jared actually listened to him and took a step back even though he still had one hand resting on Jensen's hip, keeping them connected.

"You don't want this?" Jared asked, sounding surprised and slightly disappointed.

"No. I mean yes," Jensen said and he bit down on his lower lip to keep himself from saying too much. "It's just not something I do...at all..."

Jared looked puzzled for a moment before his eyes suddenly went wide and Jensen knew the man had understood what he hadn't been prepared to say.

"You're a... Really? You've never...?" Jared asked.

"It just never...happened," Jensen said and he knew he sounded defensive.

"But you want to? With me?"

The million dollar question and as nervous as he was, Jensen knew that there was only one answer to it, only one way the night could have gone since the first heated look.

"Yeah," he said and nodded. "I really do."

Jared moved forward fast, pushing Jensen down on the bed before he pulled his own shirt off to reveal sculpted muscles and tanned skin that had Jensen's mouth go dry. For all the times he had imagined his first time and even planned to make it happen, he couldn't really believe that it was happening with someone like Jared. The man was every single one of Jensen's wet dreams made flesh and bone and not even the blush creeping up Jensen's neck could stop him from tugging his own tight shirt off, throwing it off to the side without really bothering to check where it landed. Nothing mattered besides Jared's burning gaze on him or the way the man wet his lips, eyes taking in every inch of skin that Jensen revealed.

"Did you go to Entrance looking for this?" Jared asked, taking a step closer to the bed.

"Yeah," Jensen nodded. "Didn't think I'd...find it though..."

Jared just smiled, a predatory grin that forced a low groan out of Jensen and the sound only dragged out when Jared knelt on the bed beside him, one huge hand landing on Jensen's thigh only to find its way in between his legs. Nerves and arousal made Jensen feel like his entire body was lit up and he didn't even stop to think what he was doing, just let his legs part to invite Jared in.

"Just like that..." Jared said and his fingers traced the inseam of Jensen's jeans until they reached the bulge of his rapidly hardening cock. "Yeah..."

Jensen moaned, hips rising off the bed to push into the maddeningly soft touch, only to have Jared smile and move his hand further up. Having Jared's hands on him was breathtakingly good and not even close to enough but Jared was taking his time, holding Jensen down on the bed with one hand while the other traced each part of Jensen's body that he could reach. Long fingers traced up Jensen's side, sliding inwards until they found a nipple that was already pulled tight with pleasure.

"Tease," Jensen accused.

"It's not teasing, it's foreplay," Jared said with a grin as he leaned in to flick his tongue against Jensen's nipple while he let the other move down to palm over his cock. "This is your first time and I promise you, I'll make it something to remember."

There was no need for Jensen to point out that there was no way he would ever forget Jared; those were thoughts that were best kept in Jensen's head and instead he pushed his hips up, grinding his cock against Jared's hand.

"Dragging it out...is teasing..." he groaned.

Jared laughed before he pushed up and pressed their mouths together in a wet slide of lips that was almost enough to distract him from what his hands was doing. Almost but not quite, because Jared was slowly unbuttoning his jeans and peeling the tight denim down far enough to free Jensen's dick. The sounds that left Jensen were muffled by Jared's lips, desperate whimpers swallowed up and Jensen gripped Jared's shoulders tight when a huge hand closed around his cock.

"Maybe I should just make you come like this," Jared said as he stroked the length, fingertips sliding through the pre-come slicking the head. "Would make you all relaxed for my..."

"No," Jensen protested and he was far beyond caring about how needy he sounded. "Wanna come... with you inside me. Please."

"Hell, yeah, I can make that happen," Jared said, kissing down Jensen's jaw for a few long moments before he pulled back and away, Jensen's cock smacking against his belly with a wet sound as Jared let it go.

"What..." Jensen started but he fell silent the very next second.

Jared was kneeling right next to Jensen on the bed but his hands were now focused on his own pants, siding black denim away until his cock sprang free and Jensen really didn't think he could be blamed for the sound that left him at the sight. Jensen was worried, no two ways about it, and Jared...well, Jared was huge. His cock curved proudly up against the hard muscles of his belly, skin shiny with pre-come and Jensen's mouth was watering at the sight. But he also couldn't help but wonder how the hard length of Jared would ever fit inside him. Jared didn't seem to have any such qualms though because he stood up to push his jeans all the way down before he reached down to strip Jensen naked as well, slanted eyes travelling the length of Jensen's body.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," Jared breathed out. "Gonna..."

He fumbled for his discarded jeans only to come up with a small pack of lube and he wasted no time in tearing it open and slicking his fingers. Jensen couldn't take his gaze off the man and when Jared put a hand on the inside of his bare thigh, Jensen only had to take a deep breath before he let his legs fall apart, revealing himself to Jared in the most intimate of ways.

"Just...relax..."

Jared didn't wait for an answer, instead he leaned in to kiss Jensen, tangling their tongues together as he slide one hand down between Jensen's legs and found the place where Jensen was tight and hot and untouched and the first brush of fingers had Jensen sobbing with how good it felt.

"Breathe," Jared breathed against his lips. "This might hurt a little so just try and stay relaxed."

Jensen nodded and reached up to tangle his fingers in the soft waves of Jared's hair, licking his way back into the man's mouth at the same time as Jared's slick finger pushed inside. It wasn't the first time Jensen had something inside him; he had pushed slick fingers inside himself several times before but it couldn't compare to the feel of Jared's thick finger filling him up. Jensen's grip in Jared's hair tightened but despite the slight burn he was pushing himself down on the digit, moaning into the kiss.

"Can... Jared, more..."

He was very happy that Jared didn't ask if he was sure; instead he kissed Jensen even harder and slid another finger inside, spreading Jensen even further and with a slow twist of his fingers he managed to hit Jensen's prostate with perfect accuracy.

"Jesus," Jensen breathed out and he thought he could feel Jared smirk against his lips.

"This you've done before," Jared said and it was a statement, not a question.

"Only...myself..." Jensen moaned and if he had any blood left that wasn't in his cock, he thought he would have blushed at admitting something like that. "Jared... I can... More..."

A third finger slid inside him and Jensen's whole body tensed up when he realized he was stretched wider than he had ever been before, his muscles clenching down hard around the fingers inside him and he heard Jared groan once more as he shifted his fingers around to again find the spot inside Jensen that made his hips rise up off the bed.

"Just...like...that..." Jared breathed out, his fingers pushing against that spot and Jensen felt himself relaxing under the onslaught of pleasure. "Knew you would be gorgeous like this, taking my fingers...letting me..."

"Jared," Jensen groaned. "Anyone ever told you...that you...talk too much?"

He heard Jared laugh, a deep rumbling sound that made the fingers inside him move in the most interesting way but it didn't stop filth from falling over the man's lips as he started working his fingers in and out of Jensen's body, adding more lube to slick the way, preparing him.

"I think you like it, my voice telling you just what I'm about to do with you," Jared went on. "How I'm opening you up for my cock, how I'm gonna be the first one to truly fill you up. Fuck you until you come so hard you see stars."

Jensen thought he was already close to that, Jared's fingers inside him so much better than his own had ever been now that the burn had faded away and given way to nothing but pure pleasure. All his worries were gone, faded into nothing as need and want took over and he knew he wanted more, wanted Jared to push inside. Apparently Jared was thinking the same because he sat up and pulled his fingers free, a smile tugging at his lips when Jensen couldn't hold back the soft, disappointed whimper.

"Oh, don't you worry," Jared practically purred. "I'm gonna fuck you so good, baby."

He reached for the bedside table and Jensen was confused for a moment before he saw the man come back with a small square foil pack in his hand and Jensen frowned at the sight.

"I'm clean...I promise..." he said, biting nervously on his lower lip.

"You're...are you..." Jared said, not really getting the question out but looking from the condom to Jensen and then back at the condom again.

"It's my first time...I don't want to....I wanna feel all of you, for real," Jensen said and that time he did blush. "Are you...please tell me you're..."

"Clean," Jared filled in and nodded. "I am but, Jensen..."

"I've been tested," Jensen said quickly. "I'm most likely infertile but...I've been on the pill for the last year just to...be..."

"Safe?" Jared asked. "Or prepared for this?"

Jensen couldn't answer, all he could do was stare as Jared slicked his bare cock with the remainder of the lube and shifted until he was kneeling beside Jensen's spread legs, fingers reaching down to stroke over his wet opening, dipping one fingertip inside before he gripped his cock and rubbed the head of his cock against Jensen's hole. He stilled for one moment, gaze locked at where their bodies were touching but then he took a firm grip of Jensen's hips, his dick still pressed against Jensen, and easily pulled Jensen closer, letting the slick head of his cock push inside.

"Oh...oh...god..." Jensen gasped, his fingers clenching hard into the sheets. "Jare... it hurts..."

The first breach of Jared's fingers had burned as they stretched him open but it was nothing compared to Jared's cock pushing inside; the man was huge and Jensen wasn't sure he could actually take that much no matter how much he wanted to.

"I know," Jared said and he held perfectly still, just the crown stretching Jensen wide. "It'll get better, promise. It'll feel so damn good, just...take... try to relax and..."

Jensen didn't want to relax, he wanted the pain to be over and without really thinking about it he lifted his legs to wrap them around Jared's waist and tug him down, making the entire length of his cock slide inside and he knew that the ragged scream that filled the room came from himself

"Fuck!" Jared cried out, fingers gripping Jensen so tight he was sure he would have bruises the next day. "What are...god...so tight... Fucking...are you okay? I don't want... please Jen... Tell me you're not hurt."

The pain was blinding hot, tearing through him and drowning out the previous pleasure and Jensen could feel his erection start to fade away. He pulled in deep breaths through clenched teeth, willing the pain away and slowly he felt it recede. The less pain he felt, the more he became aware of just how full he was, Jared buried balls deep inside him and Jensen swore he could feel every ridge, every vein. He knew he could feel Jared tremble with the effort to keep still and slowly he also became aware that Jared's fingers were tracing soothing circles over his hips.

"Not...hurt..." he managed to get out.

He knew the words were true, Jared's prep had been good enough to make sure he didn't tear anything but no preparations could have been enough to make it not hurt. But with the pain finally gone, the pleasure was returning and Jensen shifted his hips slightly only to moan out loud when it felt like Jared's cock pushed against every sensitive spot inside him, hot skin connected straight to nerve endings that shot burning hot pleasure through him.

"Oh... Jesus...fuck... Oh, god. Move...just...oh please. So good, Jared, your cock..."

Jared's eyes went so dark they almost looked black and he kept his grip on Jensen's hips as he slowly pulled back, holding for just one second before he slammed back in hard enough to make the air leave Jensen's lungs and they both moaned out loud.

"So perfect," Jared groaned. "Knew you would be. Fucking knew you'd..."

Jensen didn't really hear more, the words drowned out by his own desperate moans as Jared pulled his hips up further until his ass was resting against the hard muscles of Jared's thighs. The position gave him no leverage to meet Jared's thrusts, all he could do was take it and that knowledge made it all even better. His own cock was rock hard again, pre-come starting to drop down on his belly as his cock slapped against sweat-slicked skin with each hard thrust of Jared's hips.

"You're so hot around me," Jared gasped. "Can't believe I'm the first... No one else... oh, fuck... Never want..."

Jensen had never expected his first time to be that intense, the pleasure building higher and higher with each snap of Jared's hips and when Jared reached down to wrap one big hand around Jensen's cock he knew he was only seconds away from coming.

"Jared...please..."

He reached up to tug at Jared's shoulder, needing to feel more skin on skin and Jared came willingly, mouth crashing almost brutally hard against Jensen's at the same time as his hand worked his cock.

"Come for me," he whispered against Jensen's lips. "Gonna...fuck.. Wanna feel your ass around me when you come, wanna fill you up. Make you all wet with my come."

The words were enough to push Jensen over the edge and he came with a sharp cry, muscles clenching hard around Jared's cock and he could feel the cock swell even further inside him as Jared came, the movement of his dick inside Jensen becoming slick, wetter, when Jared's come filled Jensen up even further. With one last hard thrust he stilled deep inside Jensen and the heated kiss slowly turned soft and languid, slick slide of lips while their breathing calmed down.

"God," Jensen mumbled. "I think..."

He swallowed a few times but wasn't able to find a way to finish the sentence that didn't feel too emotional for something that was just...something that was more about lust than feelings.

"Don't think," Jared answered with a soft smile. "That was fucking amazing."

Slowly he pulled out and Jensen shivered when he felt a trickle of come leak out of him, the mere thought of it enough to make his softening cock throb but Jensen was much too wiped out to get hard again for quite some time.

"C'mere," Jared said and tugged Jensen in close, shifting him to the side and fitting his own body in behind him with one arm wrapped around Jensen's waist. "You're amazing."

Jensen smiled sleepily, the post-orgasmic bliss making his limbs feel heavy and he didn't even think about it before he settled in against Jared's body and let himself drift off to sleep, not caring about the come staining both their bodies.

-¤-

Sunlight hit his face, bringing him out of a deep sleep and Jensen blinked a few times as the world swam into focus around him. The room wasn't one he was used to and it took a few long moments before he realized just where he was and what had happened during the night.

"Oh..."

The word was barely more than a soft exhale, but it was enough to tug Jensen to full awareness.

Jared's arm was no longer around his waist but the man was still pressed up close beside him, his huge body radiating heat and a part of Jensen wanted to turn around and wake him up with a kiss. That was before realization dawned on him though; lazy morning kisses was not something you did with a one night stand and if Jared didn't usually bring home strangers, he probably didn't want Jensen to hang around in the morning to remind him of it.

Humiliating tears burned in his eyes when he scooted off the bed, not turning around to look back at Jared until he had quietly managed to find his clothes and he was happy that the man had actually stayed asleep through his rummaging. His gaze was locked on Jared while he pulled his clothes on, taking in every inch of his naked body where he was sprawled out on the bed and cataloguing it in the back of his mind.

"Thank you," he whispered into the quiet room and Jared shifted slightly in his sleep, hand coming to rest on the spot on the bed that Jensen had abandoned.

Without another word Jensen left the room. When he walked down the stairs he got his first real look at Jared's home and what he saw took his breath away. He had no idea who Jared was, but wealth was written clear as day over every bit of the interior of the house, from the thick carpet under his feet to the big leather couch in front of the biggest TV Jensen had ever seen. Stopping at the bottom of the stairs he looked back up to the half-open door of Jared's bedroom.

"Who are you?"

The question sounded too loud in the quiet house and Jensen let himself out, closing the door behind him and he made his way down the street without a backwards look, not stopping until he managed to come by a bus stop and only then did he realize he had no idea where he was. Looking back over his shoulders he was also quite sure that he wouldn't be able to find Jared's house again even if he wanted to.

Not that he wanted to.

Jensen had gotten the perfect first time, just like he had hoped for and whatever sadness hit him when he realized he would never see Jared again, it was only because of the sex. But Jensen would do the good thing, not return to the club to try and find Jared, not go searching for him at all. At least he would have the memory of a wonderful night, even before the sex, and that had to be good enough.

-¤-
-¤-

Jared's body still felt almost lethargic, weighed down with both sleep and contentment by the time he woke up and he felt a lazy smile stretch his lips. That was until he realized that he was sprawled out in the middle of his big bed but there was no warm body pressed up against his own.

"Jensen?" Jared called out as he sat bolt upright.

His house remained silent and the cold sheets on either side of his body told him that his bed partner was long gone. Disappointment rose in Jared; he very seldom took someone home and it was the first time he had ever felt the urge to feel skin on skin without latex keeping him apart from his lover. The sheets still smelled of Jensen and when he moved Jared could feel dried come on his body. He knew he should feel dirty but all he could feel was arousal pooling low in his belly at the memory of how Jensen had felt around him, slick heat unlike anything Jared had ever experienced before. A part of him hoped that Jensen would have left a note, a phone number penned down, anything so that Jared could get in contact with him but once dressed he searched through the house without finding a single trace of Jensen apart from his rumpled bed. Jared knew there was no use for him to run out on the street looking for the man but a part of him really wanted to. Instead he walked into his kitchen and put on a pot of coffee but not even the rich aroma filling the room managed to chase away the hard knot settling deep in his belly.

He knew he should be working; with a deadline approaching not even weekends were sacred and his publisher would breathe fire if he didn't reach the agreed upon wordcount, but all he could think of was the lingering taste of Jensen on his tongue and the feel of warm skin against him, around him. It was then he realized that he knew how to contact Jensen. The man might have sneaked out come morning, but Jared wasn't prepared to give up just yet.

It wasn't that Jensen was gorgeous writhing on Jared's cock, or at least it wasn't the only reason Jared wanted to find him. It had more to do with the somewhat quirky sense of humor and sharp intellect hiding behind a pretty face and shy demeanor that had truly hooked Jared and made him yearn for more. And that was why first thing Monday morning, Jared would go visit the Health Science Center.

-¤-

"I'm sorry, sir, but we have no Jensen enrolled in any of our programs."

Jared cursed low under his breath, fingers clenching hard against the counter but he forced himself to keep calm, it wasn't the receptionist’s fault, after all.

"Are you sure? Have you checked..."

"I promise you, there is no student of that name. I've checked, I can't do more than that. I'm not sure why you think we have a Jensen here but we don't, we've never have had, either."

"Right," Jared said with a sigh. "Well, thank you for trying. Really, I appreciate it."

He walked out of the office and it wasn't until he stood on the steps to the faculty that he realized just what he had been told. While Jared might have fallen for Jensen in an instant, the man had lied to make sure Jared wouldn't be able to find him. Disappointment gave way to anger and humiliation at having been played by a virgin, if Jensen hadn't lied about that as well, and he decided to forget that Jensen had ever entered his life.

-¤-

- 4 months later -

Jensen rubbed his temples in a rather useless attempt to keep the headache away. With end of year finals mere days away he spent most of his time bent over one book or another but with each day that passed it became harder and harder to focus. It didn't help that he had been assigned a roommate and no matter how much he tried Jensen had not managed to strike up a friendship with the guy who seemed to be more interested in parties and fucking his way through the campus than attending classes. It didn't help that Jensen had felt out of sorts for months, not enough to make him visit a doctor but enough to make studying that much harder.

"Do you mind keeping it down just a little?" Jensen asked, looking over to where Ethan was sprawled back on his bed, laptop resting against his knees and music blaring too loud from its speakers.

Ethan frowned and looked over at Jensen but he did lower the volume enough to ease some of the tension but not enough to make Jensen truly able to focus.

"Look, if you haven't managed to fit it into that creepy smart brain of yours by now, you probably won't cram it in at the last moment," Ethan pointed out.

Jensen gritted his teeth together, trying to ignore the man but when he looked down at the book open in front of him the letters were blurring together and he slammed it shut, giving up for the evening.

"Does that mean I can listen to my music again?" Ethan asked.

"Yeah, whatever."

Jensen got up off his bed and grabbed his wallet before heading for the door; there was only so much of Ethan he could take and maybe a walk would help clear his mind some.

"Hey, Jenny," Ethan called out just as he reached for the door handle. "Don't go buying candy or whatever it is you have been stuffing yourself with. I don't wanna get known as the guy with the fat roomie."

Jensen froze in place, hand on the handle and he had to take a few deep breaths to keep the sudden burn of tears at bay.

"Don't fucking call me Jenny, asshole."

He didn't care about being rude as he walked out and slammed the door hard behind himself, walking away fast before Ethan would be able to come out and drag him back for a fight. It wouldn't be the first time they fought but for some reason Jensen thought he would burst out in tears any second and that was not something he wanted anyone to see.

The stairway was blessedly empty; most people stuck in their rooms or a the library studying for the same tests that Jensen should be studying for but Jensen didn't care about the test anymore; instead he let his hand fall down to his belly, wincing when he felt just how soft he had gone over the last few months. Ethan's comment had hurt, hit Jensen just where he would feel it. He knew he had put on weight during the semester, a feeling of lingering sickness combined with too much schoolwork had made him give up on the workouts he had loved before and his body had paid the price.

"Jesus," Jensen groaned. "What's wrong with me? These damn exams are killing me."

It was then, standing with his back against the wall and his hand still pressed against his softer midsection, that he felt a weird little flutter under his hand and his eyes grew wide.

"Oh, hell no," he groaned. "I can not get sick now. No, no, no."

He sank down on the floor, arms wrapped around his own knees and he sat like that for a long time as he tried to get his heart's rapid beating to slow down. There was no doubt in his mind that he would have to take precious time out of his study schedule to go visit a doctor the next day. Jensen knew enough about his own body to realize that fluttering was not a good thing and with exams around the corner he just couldn't allow himself to come down with something.

Even with the decision made, Jensen remained on the floor, curled in on himself until his eyes started to droop and the last trace of tears had faded away; only then did he get up, groaning at how every part of his body seemed to ache. He just hoped that Ethan would be asleep or out of their room so that he could get some much needed sleep.

-¤-

"Mr. Ackles, is this the first time you've been to see a doctor recently?"

Jensen tensed up at the question, fear making bile rise in his throat at the implication that something was much more wrong with his body than he had thought at first.

"Should I have come earlier?" he managed to get out but he couldn't help back he wince at the squeak of his voice.

"Yes," the doctor said. "We do prefer to keep a track of things like this but...I'm sorry, I'm running ahead here I fear. Mr. Ackles, this flutter you are describing is nothing dangerous, I promise. But it... Mr. Ackles, you're pregnant."

"No," Jensen said and shook his head.

"What?" his doctor said with a surprised frown. "I understand this comes as a shock to you, but I promise, we have double checked and you are with child."

"No," Jensen repeated. "I'm not. I'm infertile, I was tested."

His doctor dragged a chair close to where Jensen was sitting on the hospital bed, the legs scraped loudly against the floor but it wasn't enough to bring Jensen out of his stunned mindset.

"Those tests aren't one hundred percent accurate," Dr. Cera said and he reached out to place one hand over Jensen's. "Mr. Ackles..."

"I'm on the pill," Jensen said. "Or well...I was... I stopped when I... I..."

"Mr. Ackles," Dr. Cera said softly. "I do realize that this is...very much unexpected but the pill isn't one hundred percent effective either. And if you had maybe been sick just before? Thrown up or..."

Jensen thought back to the time in January and he felt all blood drain from his face.

"I had pneumonia and I was prescribed antibiotics...but I didn't think that would..."

He didn't even need to go on, not when Cera nodded slightly because it was starting to dawn on him that his doctor was right. That small flutter deep inside was something moving, something alive.

"Mr. Ackles," doctor Cera's voice cut through his muddled thoughts. "Maybe you want to think about what you will do now."

"Do?" Jensen asked, very confused.

"With the...pregnancy," his doctor said. "If you want to terminate the pregnancy or..."

"You're not killing my baby!"

The words were out before Jensen had even a second to think about it; both his hands had fallen down to protectively span the curve of his belly and suddenly all the puzzle pieces were lining up to a picture that was far from anything Jensen had ever expected. It wasn't something he needed to think about, that much he knew right away. The life growing inside him hadn't been planned, hadn't been something Jensen had ever allowed himself to even dream about, but it was a life and there was no doubt in Jensen's mind that he would love his baby. In fact, it might have only been minutes, but he was sure he already did love that little flutter inside him.

-¤-

Jensen had no idea how he managed to get through his final exams: when he thought back to it the last days were nothing but a blur of words, hard desks, fingers that ached from writing and a little flutter that had nothing to do with nerves. Pure willpower made him go on and he refused to let himself have the complete breakdown that his brain kept insisting he should have. He didn't have time for it, not if he wanted to pass the exams and have even the slightest possibility of a future. A part of him already knew that there was no way he would be able to continue school that fall, not with a baby on the way but that was just another thing he didn't want to think about. With the exams over and done with though, Jensen found himself with too much free time on his hands and all the repressed worries came flooding to the surface.

One thing was painfully clear to him: he needed to find Jared. No matter Jensen's personal thoughts about it, the man deserved to know. Jensen's baby deserved to have his second father at least know about him.

That was why he found himself standing on a sidewalk, wiping sweat off his forehead and staring at a door that showed no signs of leading to a club. Entrance having been closed was just one thing Jensen hadn't even considered when he had made his way there, fake id-card once more in his pocket as he started out with the only place that might have an idea of just how and where he could find Jared. But with the club closed down, no contact information to be found, Jensen had no real idea how to go on.

"It can't be far from here," he mumbled to himself and looked around the street.

His problem was that all the memories he had of that evening were of Jared, not whatever street they might have walked down, or what Jared's house had looked like. If he couldn't find Jared to tell him the news, the only other option was to call home and tell his parents and that was one thing that Jensen wanted to avoid until he had no other choice left, so he picked a random street and started walking. Maybe memory would come back to him if he found something that looked familiar.

-¤-

Jensen was bone-deep tired and he didn't know how long he had been walking, he only knew that he had not seen a single thing that looked familiar and he was pretty sure he had to admit defeat. He wouldn't be able to find Jared's house and his baby would never know his second father. And Jensen was an hormonal wreck. He sighed and made his way across the street towards a small café nestled in between a bookstore and an apartment complex and the second he opened the door he could feel a wave of smells hitting him, the most prominent one that of freshly ground coffee beans and Jensen let out a small moan of appreciation only to remember that his doctor told him he should avoid caffeine.

"Great," he muttered to himself. "Just great..."

Able to drink coffee or not, Jensen needed to sit down and rest and maybe they had something cold to drink that didn't contain his beloved coffee. Too lost in his own thoughts, and with his gaze lifted towards the drink list written on the wall behind the counter, Jensen didn't keep track of where he was walking and he crashed headfirst into someone.

"I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. Didn't check where..."

He fell silent when he realized that the someone was tall, a few inches taller than Jensen himself and seemingly made out of pure muscles. Muscles, soft brown hair and dimples.

"Oh, don't worry it's..."

Jared fell absolutely silent and his eyes went wide as he looked down at Jensen and from the close distance, one of Jared's big hand on his bicep to keep him balanced, Jensen could smell him, could feel heat radiating from his body.

Jensen had gone out looking for Jared, but apparently that hadn't prepared him for actually finding him because Jensen's brain drew a complete blank as to what he should be saying. It didn't help that Jared's gaze went from warm and forgiving to cold and hard when he realized just who had crashed into him.

"Jensen," Jared said, his voice void of all emotions.

"Jared," Jensen breathed out and he didn't even think of it as his hand dropped down to lay over the barely there swell of his belly.

Jared took a step back, his hand falling away from Jensen, and Jensen felt himself blush when Jared looked him up and down, nothing of the burning need from their last meeting present on his face and a part of Jensen wanted to turn away and head for the door.

"I didn't expect to see you in this neighborhood again," Jared said flatly. "You do know that Entrance is closed, right?"

His tone as well as the words made Jensen flinch and he looked around to see if anyone had noticed Jared so easily speaking the name of the gay club but no one seemed to be listening, and if they were they didn't care one bit

"I do now," Jensen said as he tried to get his jumbled thoughts back in order.

It wasn't how he had imagined things going once he met Jared again, he had his speech planned but in that moment he couldn't remember a single word because in his fantasy version, Jared hadn't looked at him so coldly.

"Sorry to be the bearer of bad news," Jared said with a little smirk.

The words made Jensen realize just what Jared must be thinking, that Jensen had only come there to check out the club, probably thought he wanted to hook up with someone, and shame made his cheeks heat up once more and he felt the small flutter inside when his baby reacted to his stress. He opened his mouth to explain to Jared, make him see that Jensen wasn't whatever Jared had gotten in his mind but Jared beat him to it.

"Too bad really, I mean, you could use some dancing after all," he said with a pointed look at Jensen's belly. "But then, some guys are into that I guess."

Jensen looked down to his belly where his hand resting against the shirt strained the material and made his weight gain quite obvious. It had hurt when Ethan made snide remarks about his weight, but to get it from Jared was enough to make it hard to breathe and Jensen blinked furiously to try and stop the tears but he knew he was fighting a losing battle. The gasp that escaped him sounded too loud and ragged in the hush of the café and he was sure that people turned around to stare at him but he refused to look up and see if he was right, didn't want to see the look on Jared's face.

somewhere inside he felt the movement of his baby, his and Jared's baby, but if Jared didn't even want Jensen, why would he care about the baby growing inside him? Despite the almost desperate need to sit down and rest, Jensen started to turn away because the need to get away from Jared before he really started crying was even stronger.

"Hey, wait," Jared said and Jensen felt a big hand wrap around his wrist and pull him back.

"Let me go," he said, or rather tried to because the second he opened his mouth he was unable to hold back a sob as the tears started falling.

"What... Jensen? What the... Are you crying? Jesus fuck. Look, I didn't..."

Jensen shook his head wildly but he didn't know if it was to deny his obvious tears or to try and stop whatever Jared was about to say but once the tears had started, he was unable to stop them. All his life was falling apart around him and the last hope he had clung to had been that maybe he wouldn't have to do it alone. Maybe Jared would at least want to be a part of the baby's life even if he didn't want a relationship with Jensen but that small dream had died as well. All that was left for him to do was to go back to Richardson, to tell his parents he had to drop out of college because he was pregnant. The same parents that didn't even know he was gay to begin with.

He knew he was sobbing loudly but he didn't care people could look all they wanted, it wasn't like he would be left in San Antonio much longer so why should he care what they thought?

"Is everything alright here?"

It was a female voice and Jensen wondered for a second if maybe it was one of the baristas, but he didn't really care, not until he heard Jared's deep voice saying something, apologizing for causing a scene most likely. He wondered of Jared would take the opportunity to get out of there, with Jensen a sobbing mess it would be the perfect timing, but instead he felt an arm around his waist and he was guided into the corner of the café where a small table sat mostly hidden behind plants.

"Can I get you something?" the female voice asked and Jensen heard Jared order two coffees but he couldn't stop sobbing long enough to stop Jared from ordering for him.

"Hey, Jensen," he heard Jared say. "Please calm down? I don't... Fuck it, I didn't think you'd react like this."

Jensen knew he needed to pull himself together but he couldn't even get his breathing back under control, not when deep, ragged sobs tore through him. He hated not being in control of his own emotions, hated how fucking weak he felt in that moment and yet he couldn't stop.

"Jensen," Jared said and Jensen felt a hand stroking through his hair, a soft touch that was shocking enough to make Jensen's tears almost catch in his throat. "Talk to me, what's happening?"

Before Jensen could manage to get a single word out, the waitress returned and put down two cups of coffee on the table in front of them and Jensen was sure he could feel her questioning gaze even though his crying was slowly starting to subside. His thoughts were instead starting to focus in on Jared's hand that had drifted down from his hair to instead cover Jensen's hand on the table top.

"Have some coffee? I'm sure that would calm you down," he heard Jared said and Jensen lifted his head up enough to look down at the cup standing in front of him.

"I can't," Jensen said even though his fingers were itching to reach for the cup.

Jensen remembered the time he had spent at Entrance with Jared, remembered how he at one time had expressed his utter love for coffee, he just hoped Jared didn't remember that part.

"But..." Jared said slowly. "You love coffee. You told me you can't live without it."

Of course Jared would remember that and Jensen pulled in one more deep breath and if it still was close to a sob, that was something he didn't wanna think about. Instead he forced himself to look up at Jared and to his surprise the previous blankness was replaced by confusion and something that looked very close to worry. Jensen knew he wouldn't get a better chance than that and he forced himself to speak the words that he knew would change everything.

"It's not good for me," he admitted, refusing to look away from Jared. "Not in...my condition."

"Your...condition?" Jared asked, eyebrows knitting together in a frown.

"I'm pregnant," Jensen said and it wasn't until the words were out that he realized that Jared was the only person beside Jensen himself and his doctor that knew.

"I...wow..." Jared said slowly. "I thought you were..."

"Yeah, so did I," Jensen said and he couldn't quite hold back to slight bitterness in his voice.

"How far along?" Jared asked and he reached over to pull the cup of coffee away from Jensen.

"About four months, according to my doctor."

"So that's why...oh Jensen, I'm so sorry about what I said, it's just..."

Jensen could see the very moment that Jared's brain put the pieces together, math adding up to just what Jensen wanted him to know but didn't want to come full out and actually say.

"Four months? Jesus, Jensen. You... when we... Jensen, is it my child?"

The lump in Jensen's throat was too much for him to be able to get a single word out but he didn't need his voice to confirm Jared's question so he just nodded and kept his eyes on Jared to see the man's reaction.

-¤-
-¤-

Jared couldn't take his eyes off Jensen and a big part of him couldn't really grasp that the man was back in his life and with news bigger than Jared could ever have expected.

"It's...mine?" Jared breathed out.

Jensen flinched ever so slightly at that and Jared was aware of how the man's eyelashes still stuck together with drying tears and he realized just how his words have sounded.

"I keep saying the wrong thing," Jared sighed. "Can you...just cut me some slack here? I'm not... Fuck."

"Sorry," Jensen said quietly.

"I don't doubt you," Jared said because even with his emotions all over the place that was something he needed Jensen to know. "I just...this is a lot. I never... damn it, I never thought I'd see you again."

"Me either," Jensen said with a small shrug. "I'm sorry for... I don't even know. Being...the worst one night stand ever. I messed up everything."

Jared thought back to that night, the one he hadn't been able to forget no matter how much he tried and the first thing that his mind zeroed in on wasn't the parts he first had expected, not naked skin and sweaty bodies, instead he thought of Jensen smiling when they sat talking at the club. And he thought of how Jensen had left, leaving him to wake up in a bed that smelled of both of them.

"This is a lot to take in," he said honestly. "But Jensen... you didn't mess up."

A small bitter laugh fell from Jensen's lips and the sound was almost worse to hear than the sobs had been, almost but not quite.

"Did you miss the part where I got myself knocked up?" Jensen asked and his hand fell down to his belly, just the way it had been when Jared had commented on the man's weight.

And if that wasn't proof of what a big asshole Jared was then he didn't know what was. Sure, Jensen was slightly rounder than when Jared had first seen him but no matter what, Jared never hurt people. Except for how he had wanted to hurt Jensen, just like the man had hurt him by disappearing, by lying to him.

"I think I was the one knocking you up," Jared pointed out.

The words were enough for reality to really set in and he stared at Jensen, gaze once more falling down to the man's belly and he realized that in there a child was growing. His child.

"Fuck," he managed to get out. "I knocked you up."

Jensen laughed, the sound of it close to hysteria but it was still better than sobbing, or the earlier bitterness and Jared smiled weakly. Jared's brain still screamed that it was all too much, the shock of seeing Jensen again and the news the man had thrown at him.

"Jensen," he said slowly when a thought suddenly occurred to him. "What were you doing in this part of town? I mean... You didn't come here for Entrance..."

Jensen tensed up and his gaze fell down, away from Jared's gaze, but he didn't pull his hand away from where Jared's was still covering his on the table. In the confused jumble that was his mind, Jared was counting the small victories.

"I was trying to find you," Jensen admitted. "Not doing a very good job of it but...yeah... No matter what... Look, I know it was just a hook-up but I figured...you deserved to know about this."

A million questions were battling inside him, begging to be let out, but just when Jared opened his mouth he realized just how tired Jensen looked. Even with his gaze cast downwards Jared could clearly see the almost bruise-like dark circles under his eyes that were only made even more noticeable by his too-pale skin.

"You didn't remember where my house was," Jared said and it wasn't a question. "How long had you been looking?"

"Few hours?" Jensen said. "Not sure, I think I covered the same street several times but...I don't know."

Jared looked at Jensen for a long moment before he stood up and walked over to the counter and he was sure he could feel Jensen's eyes on his back while he paid for their untouched coffees and asked the girl behind the counter for a lemonade to go. He returned to the table, plastic cup in hand, but he didn't sit down; instead he leaned forward to put the cup in front of Jensen.

"I think this is better for you than coffee," Jared said. "Let me drive you home, you look exhausted."

Jensen looked hesitant for a moment but then his shoulders slumped and he nodded, getting up from the table and for the first time since Jared had found out he got a good look at the changes in the man's body. It wasn't much, maybe not even something he would truly have noticed if not for the fact that the image of Jensen naked beneath him had been almost branded into his mind but when he knew what to look for he could see softness where before there had been flat, firm muscles.

"Stop staring at me," Jensen snapped as he grabbed the cup from the table and made his way towards the door.

A part of Jared felt like snapping right back, he really thought staring at the man whose body was changing from carrying his child was quite understandable but he kept the words back and followed Jensen out into the warmth outside. It was unusually warm even for Texas and the realization that Jensen must have been walking around for hours in that heat made the lingering irritation fade away only to be replaced by worry.

"My car is over here," Jared said and led Jensen around the corner. "I just need to go inside to get the keys."

Jensen looked sort of slack-jawed for a moment before he burst out laughing hard enough to take Jared by surprise.

"Around the corner? I was just around the corner? Oh that's.. fuck..." Jensen managed to get out, shaking his head.

Jared could only stare at him because dark circles aside, Jensen looked stunning when laughing and Jared couldn't hold back his own wide grin, letting the both of them relax for a minute before the stressful reality pulled them right back in. With a quick smile to Jensen, Jared opened the door and stepped inside, quickly grabbing his keys before walking back outside and locking the door behind him. The laughter was gone from Jensen's eyes and instead there was something slightly hurt there but Jared had no idea what he had done wrong and he almost thought he had imagined it when Jensen looked away from him and took a sip from his lemonade.

Pressing the button on the key Jared couldn't help but grin when Jensen's eyes went wide as he stared between Jared and the sleek black car that he had just unlocked. It wasn't something that Jared really wanted to draw attention to but he knew that sooner or later he would have to tell Jensen who he was, had to explain the expensive car and the big house but he really hoped Jensen wouldn't ask until they had sorted out other more important issues. Jensen didn't say a word though, he just walked past Jared to open the passenger door and slide inside, cup still clasped in one hand.

Neither of them spoke as Jared drove through town towards the campus and Jared wished he could say it was a comfortable silence but that would have been lying; there was an underlying tension there the entire time, both of them aware of all the things they hadn’t talked about.

"Are we close?" Jared asked when they closed in one the sprawling campus. "I only know that you don't attend the physical therapy program after all and that's not much to go with."

Jensen's head snapped over to look at Jared, the movement so fast he almost thought the man would hurt something but he only looked at Jared with surprise.

"How'd you know that?" Jensen asked, chewing slightly on his lower lip.

"I tried to find you," Jared said and he couldn't hold back the hint of anger from his voice. "When you ran out on me like that I tried to...but of course that didn't work so well. But don't worry, the message was received."

Jensen looked confused and his white teeth were digging into his lip so hard that Jared almost expected to see blood but then he just took a deep breath and gave Jared the directions to his dorm. It wasn't until Jared pulled in to a stop in front of the building that his memories from his own days on the campus surfaced and suddenly a lot of puzzle pieces slotted together.

"Jensen," he said, his voice so strained he barely got any words out. "This is a.... This is a freshman dorm. Just how old are you?"

He could tell from Jensen's deep blush and the way he looked away that the man had hoped for Jared to not ask that question and he was just about to ask again when Jensen answered.

"Nineteen," he said quietly but his voice still sounded low in the confines of the car. "Now. I was...eighteen back when we...yeah."

Eighteen. Jared had been so sure the man he had taken to his bed had been twenty-one if not even older; the boy had bought a beer at the bar so Jared hadn't even considered it further but of course he should have, what self-respecting college student didn't have a fake ID, after all? He had knocked up an eighteen year-old kid and the fact that Jensen was nineteen now didn't really help, his mother would be screaming at him for hours, Jared was sure of it. He didn't know how long he sat there, lost in his own thoughts, not until he heard Jensen clear his throat did he come back to himself.

"Right," Jensen said. "I'm just gonna... At least you know now. So... thank you for the ride. And I... I won't ask you for anything, I promise. If you don't want to be a part of this I'll..manage..."

That got Jared's attention and he stared at Jensen for a long moment, only reacting when the man reached for the handle to let himself out.

"Wait, what?" Jared asked. "Not ask me for... What are you... Jensen!"

Jensen froze in place but his back was still turned to Jared and that just wasn't good enough, Jared needed to see his face, needed to look Jensen in the eyes when he said the words that he knew he meant with all his heart even though he had never expected them an hour earlier. He grabbed Jensen's hand and put one hand on the back of Jensen's head, not really pulling but guiding him until Jensen was facing him again, green eyes shining with unshed tears and Jared cursed himself for making Jensen look like that, again.

"Jensen," he said again, much softer that time. "You don't need to ask me for anything, this is my child we're talking about here. And...from what little you have said I can already tell that you are planning to keep it; that means I'll be there with you, every step of the way. I promise."

He didn't really know how he had expected Jensen to react, but if he would have guessed he sure wouldn't have guessed on the shaky sob that shook his entire body.

"You'll... you want to be a part of it?" Jensen got out between soft sobs. "I'm not... really?"

"You might have run out on me once," Jared said, his hand still on Jensen's head soothing away the hard edge of the words. "But not again, I promise to take care of you. Both of you."

Jensen nodded and the next second Jared found himself with his arms full of Jensen and some of the hurt and anger that had settled deep inside him over the last four months faded away when his nostrils were once more filled with the warm smell of Jensen.

"Thank you," Jensen breathed out, still clinging to Jared. "I'm sure we can work it out...I mean, it's not a big distance. I don't have a car but... it's only a few hours away."

"What?" Jared asked, confused once more he felt like he was a few steps behind Jensen.

"When I go back home," Jensen explained. "I can't... I have to. I'll stay with my parents."

"You're...leaving?" Jared said with a frown.

"I have to," Jensen said and the bitterness from earlier was back. "I can't... I won't go back to school this fall, not now. So I won't have the dorm and even if I did... it's not the place for... I have to go back home. I need to live somewhere and once they are over the shock...."

The man fell silent but he was still hiding his face against Jared's neck, close enough that Jared could feel the movements of his lips.

"They don't know," Jensen said then.

"Do you want me to be there when you tell them about the child?" Jared asked.

"No. Yes. Wait. I don't mean... They don't know that I'm gay."

Jared pulled back then, staring down at Jensen who in that moment looked younger than his nineteen years and Jared was sure he could feel his own freak-out build up in the back of his mind.

"Oh, fuck," he said and Jensen nodded.

"You can say that again," Jensen sighed.

His brain was working overtime and Jared thought of the big house, of all the guest bedrooms he never really used. He thought of not being there for Jensen, for the child resting inside the man and he thought of not being able to see his baby grow, see Jensen's body change with it.

"Move in with me," he said and even though it was a spur of the moment suggestion, it felt more right than anything Jared had said since he first saw Jensen again.

-¤-
-¤-

Jensen knew he was staring but he really did think he was entitled to; it had been less than an hour since he had crashed into Jared and the last thing Jensen had expected after his reveal was for Jared to ask him to move in. Even more so when Jared had been so eager to drive Jensen home, not even inviting him in to the house while he got the keys and yet...

"What?" he managed to get out.

"Move in with me," Jared repeated. "I don't want you hours away, I want to be there every day and...I know it's a lot but I've got a big house, you would have your own room. Hell, you can have several rooms if you want to!"

Warning bells were going off in Jensen's mind but all he could really think of was the fact that if he accepted, he wouldn't be alone. There would be someone right there by his side every step of the way and maybe Jared would even want to come to his doctor’s appointments.

"You're insane..." he said, not wanting to admit how tempting the offer was. "I'm...going back home tomorrow."

Jared's face fell, the pleading smile he had been wearing faded away and Jensen already disliked the disappearance of the dimples. He cursed his own haywire emotions but then he took a deep breath.

"I just have to tell them," he said. "In person. After that...god... Give me some time? Please?"

"Will you run out on me?" Jared asked and there was a sharp edge to the words. "Because I meant what I said; even if you don't move in with me I want to be a part of this. So please, keep in contact?"

Nodding Jensen accepted the phone Jared held out and he programmed his own number into it before he could second guess himself. All in all, the reveal had gone better than he could ever have imagined but he still felt drained and he had a lot of things to do with wrapping up the end of year and doing his best to make sure he would have the opportunity to return when he was once more ready for school.

"I'll call you," he said and Jared nodded, taking Jensen's phone and adding his number. "I promise...I'll call once I figured things out."

Jared nodded and then he reached out to tug Jensen close and hugged him, holding him close for a few long moments and Jensen missed the heat of his body when they pulled apart.

"If you need me, just call."

"I will," Jensen promised before he slid out of the car and headed up to his dorm and Ethan's less than lovely company.

-¤-

Jensen looked at the dorm room that he had hated to be in since Ethan had moved in there, but it looked very different when he knew he wouldn't be in a dorm for quite some time, when he didn't know how his future would look a few months into the distance. All his carefully laid plans didn't seem all that important anymore and all he really wanted was to find a way to take care of his baby.

"Jensen, are you all packed?"

"Yeah, don't wanna stay here forever," he heard Josh call from out the hall and Jensen sighed, grabbing the last box and turned around to leave the room and the campus behind him.

It was just his luck that not only did he have his parents there, Josh had also decided to play good brother and help Jensen pack up for the summer and that was the last thing Jensen had wanted, one more person to tell. But it was his big brother and maybe Josh would actually be on his side, be supportive. That thought made him feel better and when his parents asked if he wanted to go with them or Josh he didn't even have to think about it before he followed Josh to his car.

"Thanks," he said as he got into the car. "For coming with them..."

Josh looked at him for a long moment before he turned the key and the engine started up and he didn't answer Jensen until they were out of the parking lot.

"I've been to college, you know," he said with a smirk. "Besides, I couldn't leave you with mom and dad, that would be cruel."

The smile that he tried to give his brother didn't really feel genuine and from the frown on Josh's face he was sure his brother could tell if the small crease between his eyebrows were anything to go by.

"So," Josh said a few minutes later. "Now that it's just you and me, will you tell me why you've been Mr. Avoidance all spring? I've barely talked to you for ten minutes."

"Some things happened," Jensen said and curled in on himself on the seat, crossing his arms over his chest in hope that it would hide the way his body had slowly been changing.

"Yeah, things usually do at college. Never would have given you the fake ID if I knew you would turn all bad boy on me."

Josh's grin was almost painfully familiar but Jensen couldn't stop from flinching and his brother knew him well enough to notice the obvious tell.

"Wait..." Josh said slowly. "Really?"

Jensen took a deep breath and then he started talking, words falling endlessly from his lips as they headed out of San Antonio and he was grateful for how much easier it made it to talk when his brother had to focus on the road and not only on Jensen. He didn't tell Josh about the baby, but by the time he started reaching the end of his story his hand had drifted down to once more rest over his belly, a gesture he caught himself making more and more often since he had first found out.

"So, you finally got laid and it ended badly," Josh said slowly. "There's something here you're not telling me."

Jensen blinked a few times, just staring at his brother as he was trying to catch up with what was happening.

"You...don't seem surprised," he managed to get out.

The laughter that filled the car stunned Jensen more than the earlier lack of reaction had.

"You went to prom with Danneel Harris," Josh pointed out, like Jensen didn't remember that himself. "And you didn't even try for a kiss. I kinda figured it out then even though there were signs before."

They both sat silent for several miles, Josh most likely waiting for Jensen to talk while Jensen was torn between the relief of Josh knowing, and obviously accepting, and the fear of what he still had left to tell.

"I know you're still hiding something," Josh said when Jensen remained silent. "But it's fine.We're fine."

Jensen smiled a true smile at that and the rest of the drive was spent in comfortable small talk, Jensen catching up with his brother's life and for the first time in a week focusing on something that wasn't exams or the new life growing inside him and the tension stayed away until they pulled into a stop in front of their parents’ house.

"It's so good to have you boys home," Jensen's mother said as she led them inside and Jensen really wished he could agree with her.

When he had lived at home his mother had always kept the house spotless, even with two teenage boys living there, but in comparison to his room in the dorms it felt nearly clinical and Jensen almost longed for something messy. If he had thought that the easiness of the chat with Josh would have calmed him down, he would have been wrong. Instead he was quite sure that the contrast between coming out to his brother and coming out to his parents would be extreme.

-¤-

"Now, Jensen darling, tell us about school," his mother said the second he put down his dessert spoon that evening.

It might have sounded like a caring question but Jensen could hear the slight edge to it, the veiled accusation hidden behind the soft tone and he knew he couldn't keep from the truth any longer.

"Not much to tell," he said with a little shrug. "The dorms are crowded, the lectures are interesting and...that's about it."

"What about girls?" his father asked.

"What about fall?" Donna asked, eyes narrowing ever so slightly.

"Fall, right," Jensen said slowly. "About that...we need to talk. You see, I'm not going back to school this fall."

He had spoken as quietly as he could and yet he felt like his voice was booming in the sudden silence of the room.

"What?" Donna said and her utensils fall to the table with a loud clatter and for the first time that Jensen could remember she didn't right away make sure to tidy up. "Of course you are, don't be silly."

Jensen chose to not look at her; instead he glanced over to his brother who nodded his support. Jensen clung to that little gesture. Even if Josh didn't know everything, Jensen was suddenly glad that his brother had decided to come home as well: Jensen needed someone on his side.

"I'm not silly," Jensen said and then he decided to just get it over with. "I'm pregnant."

Jensen thought he could almost see the silence that answered his revelation, could feel it like a heavy blanket settling over the table and Jensen knew he had little to do but sit back and wait for things to explode around him. Josh was staring at him with an open mouth, fork still halfway to his mouth.

"Pregnant?" His father's voice cut through the silence. "But you were tested, same as your brother. And you're not gay."

"Oh, Jensen," Donna said, so much disappointment in her voice that it made Jensen's heart ache. "Are you sure?"

"Of course he's sure," Alan snapped. "But that doesn't matter, it's not like he'll keep it."

Jensen paled at the harsh words and he felt a flutter inside him as an answer to his distress.

"I'm over four months now," he said. "I'm not killing my baby."

"Jensen," Josh cut in. "Does he know? The father?"

For some reason, the mere thought of Jared made Jensen feel slightly better and he nodded, not really able to get out the words to answer his brother. To his relief Josh just nodded back and even though Jensen was sure he wanted to ask more questions, the man kept quiet. The silence wasn't good enough for their father though.

"So you're gay now?" Alan snapped out.

"Pretty sure he's always been gay, dad," Josh pointed out and Jensen didn't know if he should laugh or cry at the way their father's eyes narrowed.

"We'll talk about this tomorrow," his father said stiffly and stood up. "I'm sure you boys can clean up."

Jensen's brain didn't fully catch up until his father was out of the room, Donna following close after him without another world and when he looked over he could see his own surprise mirrored on Josh's face.

"I'm not sure if that went well or not," Josh said when the silence dragged out between them.

"Not," Jensen said with a low sigh.

"I'm gonna be an uncle," Josh said and a slow smile spread over his face. "And my perfect little straight-A brother is becoming a dad at nineteen. I think I'll be the good son in the future."

Even though he knew his brother was joking, the words were too close to the truth and Jensen pulled in a deep breath but when he exhaled it came out as a ragged sob. Josh quickly rounded the table and wrapped his arms around Jensen, holding him close and Jensen allowed himself to truly cry all the tears he had kept in, letting all the emotions out that he had kept bottled inside even when he had broken down in front of Jared.

"I've fucked up my life," Jensen got out between sobs hard enough to hurt.

"No," Josh said with conviction. "You messed it up a little but dude, you're my brilliant little brother, you'll get through this as well. Now...tell me all about Jared."

-¤-

Jensen fell down on his bed, feeling the way it sagged in the middle from long years of use and he looked around the room at all the small items collected throughout his time living at home and he sighed slightly at it. It wasn't that he had felt all grown up at college but it had been better than being at home in a room where he was surrounded by the memories of childhood. It didn't help that his parents’ words from dinner were still echoing in his mind; four days at home and each time they talked to him all they focused on was what they called his little problem.

Sitting up, Jensen looked at the full-length mirror fastened to the inside of his door and he only considered it for a moment before he stood up and walked to lock the door and strip out of his clothes. He hadn't really looked at his own body since he had first found out the reason for the changes in his body and the view in the mirror made his breath catch in his throat for a few long moments. His belly had slowly gone from him just looking like he had put on weight and he could actually see the start of the curve as his body adjusted to the life inside him.

"Hi, there..."

Jensen felt silly for talking out loud, but when he lifted his hand to cup it over the swell and he felt the fluttering feeling inside, he smiled for the first time since he had gotten back home.

"Jensen!"

His mother's voice rang out through the house and Jensen flinched at the sound.

"Come down here, we've got things to talk about."

"Of course you do," Jensen muttered to himself, wishing that Jeff hadn't had to go back to work the day before.

He didn't answer his mom though, instead he looked at his body once more and tried to imagine how he would look a month from then, or five months when he would close in on actually meeting the baby that was growing inside him. The child. He thought he had accepted that was happening to him, but in that moment he was truly struck by the fact that it was a child inside him, not just a baby but a child that would be his for the rest of his life.

"What am I doing here?" he asked his reflection. "I should be with your daddy."

He stood there, watching his own body in the mirror and thought of his parents downstairs, wondering if he really could put up with another discussion about how he was ruining his life and he had a feeling that his parents expected him to not keep his baby once it was born. That just wasn't an option, hadn't been since he first found out he was pregnant.

"I should be with your daddy."

Without stopping to think about it he walked over to where his phone lay on the bedside table, scrolling to Jared's number before he could stop to think it through and he breathed a deep sigh of relief when Jared answered on the second ring.

"Jensen?"

"Hey," Jensen said and only then did he stop to consider that calling Jared while he was still naked might be a bit on the weird side.

"I was hoping you'd call," Jared said and Jensen was sure he could hear the smile in the man's voice.

"Jared. Is the offer still valid?"

"Offer? Oh...yes, of course it is," Jared said quickly and then his voice turned soft. "Things not going well with your folks?"

Jensen held the phone between his ear and shoulder, sliding back into his clothes and trying to ignore the way his body reacted to Jared's voice.

"Not really," Jensen sighed. "Apparently I'm embarrassing them with my problem and they are disappointed in me for dropping out of school."

"Jen..." Jared said quietly.

"Jared," Jensen interrupted him. "Can you...come get me?"

He was met with absolute silence for a few long seconds and he was almost expecting Jared to say no by the time he heard the man's voice across the line.

"Of course," Jared answered. "Just text me your address and I'll get there."

Jensen closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, feeling at ease for the first time in days, maybe even months and even when he heard his mother call out for him again he didn't let it get to him, not when Jared was on the way.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"Anytime," Jared said and for the first time, Jensen thought Jared might actually mean it.

-¤-
-¤-

Turning in on the right street Jared felt his nerves start to set in; on the drive up to Richardson he had been too focused about worrying Jensen and it wasn't until he got the house in sight that he caught up with the fact that he was mere minutes away from meeting Jensen's parents.

"Oh shit," he muttered as he parked in front of the house and killed the engine. "Here goes nothing."

He stepped out of the car and walked up the path leading through the front door and he wondered if that short walk might not have been the hardest one he'd ever have to take and he stepped in front of the door, taking a few deep breaths to try and ground himself. The door swung open before he had time to knock and Jensen stood inside, dressed in faded blue jeans and a green Henley and he looked soft around the edges in a way Jared hadn't seen him before. One moment of appreciation was all he had time for before he was struck by how exhausted Jensen looked, his face drawn and tired even more than it had been in the café a few days earlier and Jared didn't want to think about what Jensen had gone through since they last met.

"Jay," Jensen breathed out.

"Hey," Jared said.

"I'm..." Jensen started and looked back over his shoulder and Jared realized he could hear voices somewhere inside the house.

"Have you told your parents that you're leaving?" Jared asked.

"No," Jensen admitted. "I've been dodging mom for hours and I'm all packed. You know...what little I need to bring for now. Not like I'll fit into most of my clothes soon, anyway."

Jared looked at the man in front of him, taking in the obvious effort it was taking for Jensen to keep himself together and he knew he couldn't make it worse so instead he just nodded and stored that comment away for something he knew they would be talking about sooner or later.

"Come in," Jensen said and took a step back.

The house was probably one of the tidiest Jared had ever seen and Jared wondered if Jensen was the same; there was so much he didn't know about the man, after all.

"Who are you?"

Looking up, Jared was met with two people standing in a doorway, a too tidy living room behind them and Jared knew they must be Jensen's parents. As far as first-time meetings went he was rather sure it must be one of the more awkward ones.

"Mom, dad," Jensen said and Jensen heard the barely there quiver in the man's voice. "This is Jared, he's... I mean... He's..."

"He's the guy you slept with," Alan said, making all other explanations redundant but there was something about the almost brutal words that made Jared take a step closer to Jensen.

"I'm the father of his child," Jared said firmly.

In the corner of his eye he could see Jensen look at him and all Jared wanted was to take a step even closer, wrapping his arms around Jensen but he forced himself to stay in place.

"Well, I'm Alan and this is my wife Donna and we're actually quite happy to see you," Jensen's father said.

That was not what Jared had expected to hear and looking over at Jensen he could see the man looking just as confused as he felt.

"Maybe you can talk some sense into our stubborn son," Donna said with an exasperated sigh. "He's only nineteen, you know that, right? This little problem needs to be dealt with and since he refuses to do the smart thing, I'm hoping he'll at least go the path of adoption."

"No," Jared said at the exact same time as Jensen did.

"I'm not...I can't..." Jensen said, his voice sounding weak.

"It's not an option," Jared said stiffly. "Okay, I didn't know about this a week ago but...it's my child. I want to be there, every step of the way."

"Good," Alan said with a nod. "Then you can take the baby and Jensen can go back to school this spring semester; he'll have missed half a year but still, this little problem will soon be forgotten."

Every trace of color faded from Jensen's face, his freckles standing out in stark contrast and Jared saw the man's hands cup his belly protectively.

"God," Jared choked out. "No! I'm not taking Jensen's baby away from him. I want to be a part of this, but I want both of them. And it's not a little problem, it's our kid you're talking about!"

"I'm leaving," Jensen said before his parents could react. "I'm gonna stay with Jared."

"We're not supporting you," Alan said sternly. "Put this kid up for adoption and I'm sure we can..."

The anger rose in Jared at the way the man spoke to Jensen about the child growing inside of him and it was made even worse by the concern still obvious in the man's words. It was obvious that Jensen's parents wanted the best for their son, but it was also obvious that a kid didn't factor into their view of what his future should be like.

"I'll take care of him, the both of them," Jared said. "Jen, are you ready? All packed?"

"Yeah," Jensen said and headed up the stairs, leaving Jared standing alone in front of the man's parents.

With Jensen upstairs, the silence stretching out between the three of them was one of the least comfortable ones Jared had ever experienced.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, eying the stairs for Jensen's return. "I know this isn't what you wished for him, I know that you probably hate me but I promise to take care of him."

Alan looked stonefaced but he thought he could see a softening in Donna's face just as he heard Jensen come out of his room and when he looked up the stairs he saw Jensen carrying two huge duffle bags. Jared took the stairs in a few big steps and grabbed one of the bags but when he reached for the other one Jensen glared enough for Jared to grin slightly and hold up one hand in surrender before the two of them made their way back down, carefully watched by Jensen's parents.

"Jensen," Alan said when they reached the bottom of the stairs. "Are you sure?"

The question was not the one Jared had been expecting but Jensen just nodded and took a step closer to Jared.

"I'm sorry," Jensen said. "This is what I want."

Alan merely nodded but Donna crossed the space between them to give Jensen a quick hug.

"I wish you'd come to your senses," she said. "But you always were the stubborn one. Just...be careful. And think about what we said."

Jensen pulled away from her and hefted the bag higher on his shoulder before he turned and walked outside without another word and Jared had no real choice but to follow him outside. He almost crashed into Jensen who had stopped halfway down the walkway, staring at the car parked in front of the house.

"Jared," Jensen said in a carefully controlled voice. "Just how many cars do you have?"

"Um, only four," Jared answered.

"Right. Only," Jensen said and his voice sounded weak. "I think we have a lot of things to talk about."

Jared was quite sure that Jensen was right, but he sure hoped the man wanted to talk about more than the cars that Jared owned. Opening up the back he easily lifted the duffel inside and then turned around to take Jensen's as well, ignoring the glare given him. When he closed the door he looked back towards the house and saw Alan and Donna standing on the porch, both of them looking slightly stunned and Jared couldn't blame them. As far as Jensen's parents were concerned, Jared was a nobody who had seduced their barely legal son, he was quite sure that they hadn't expected the wealth that the brand new Escalade spoke of.

Turning away from them Jared thought for a second about helping Jensen into the car but before he could even take a step forward Jensen shook his head and pulled the door open. Casting one last glance towards the house Jared got behind the wheel and when he heard a small sob escape from Jensen as they left the neighborhood he reached out and dared to tangle his fingers with Jensen's, breathing out a sigh of relief when Jensen didn't pull away.

-¤-

Jared sat at the kitchen table, listening to the sounds of Jensen unpacking in the first floor guest room and he chose to not think too much about just why he had put Jensen in the guest room furthest from the master bedroom. His mind was a mess with all the thoughts that had filled his head since he had first run into Jensen again and he didn't really know what to do about it all; he just knew that it felt right to have Jensen in his house and that feeling was enough to make a lot of warning bells ring out in his head.

He was about to reach for the phone to order some takeout food when he realized that he had no real idea what Jensen liked, and wasn't that just proof of how messed up things were? Jared hadn't lived with anyone since his college days, not really had anything resembling a serious relationship since he first landed himself on the New York Bestseller list and now he was listening to the father of his child settling into his guest room. It was a bit much to wrap his head around.

"Did you mean what you said before?"

Jensen's voice startled him, Jared had been too lost in his own mind to realize that the man had left the confines of his room and was standing in the doorway.

"What did I say?" Jared asked, because really, there had been a lot said since that day in the café.

"That..." Jensen started and then he stopped, chewing on his lower lip as he walked into the kitchen and leaned against the table. "That you want the both of us. Not just the baby but..."

No one could blame Jensen for beating around the bush, that much was for sure but a part of Jared had really been hoping that Jensen would have forgotten about that little comment. Talking about it felt too much like laying himself bare and that was not something he was comfortable with.

"Can you answer one question first, and I promise to answer yours?" he asked, looking up at Jensen.

Jensen looked at him for a long moment but then he nodded and slid down onto the chair opposite Jared, putting one elbow on the table and resting his head in his hand.

"Sure," he said. "But only one, so make it count."

"Why did you leave, back in January?"

Jensen's mouth fell open in surprise and Jared watched him as a deep blush crept up his neck, not really surprised when Jensen looked down on the table and shuffled uncomfortably in his seat.

"I guess that's making it count, yeah," Jensen muttered. "Honestly? I was sure it was what you wanted."

Jared opened his mouth to protest but Jensen held up one hand, silencing him.

"I know you didn't say it but...it was a one night stand and you said you didn't do it often so I just thought... I thought it would be best if I wasn't there in the morning. Less awkward all around."

"And I had no say in this?" Jared asked.

"I didn't want to wait around to be thrown out," Jensen said and his tone was somewhere between hurt and angry. "You were my first, I just couldn't take it if you..."

Maybe laying himself bare wasn't as bad if Jensen did it as well and for once Jared was happy that the kitchen table wasn't even close to the size of the monstrosity that was the table in his dining room, because it meant he could easily reach across the table and put a finger under Jensen's chin, pushing his head up.

"Hey," he said softly. "I wouldn't have done that."

He could tell from the look in Jensen's eyes that the man didn't believe him and it struck Jared then just how young Jensen was, the vulnerability in his gaze making him accept it when before Jensen's age had not really gotten to him. In that moment though, Jensen looked even younger than his nineteen years.

"Jensen," Jared said softly. "I went to your school, or well, what I thought was your school, because I wanted to find you. I was so angry and hurt when I found out you lied to me but...I know why you did it. I'm happy you did it."

"Happy?" Jensen asked, sounding confused.

"If you hadn't, I wouldn't have taken you home," Jared said. "I wouldn't have had that perfect night and I wouldn't have you here now. So yes, Jensen, I want you both. I don't wanna be a single parent and...I think we could be good together."

The words hung heavy between them and neither of them spoke for a few long moments. Jared felt his heart beat rapidly, hammering against his ribcage as he waited for Jensen to say something, anything.

"You're not only talking about raising a baby, are you?" Jensen said quietly.

"No," Jared admitted. "I'm not."

"I'm..." Jensen started and then hesitated some. "I've never been in a relationship. I sort of dated a girl but we didn't even kiss so...I think it doesn't count. I'm not sure how to..."

"Well," Jared said, smiling wide because Jensen wasn't saying no. "We would start by going on dates."

That made Jensen laugh, a short surprised sound that made Jared grin even wider.

"You want to date me?" Jensen asked.

"Yeah," Jared answered. "I really want to date you, Jensen Ackles."

-¤-
-¤-

Jensen looked at himself in the mirror, fingers stroking over the soft denim of his favorite black jeans and he wondered if they would be good enough for wherever Jared planned to take him on their first date, it wasn't like he could even fit in to his slacks anymore, something that Jensen didn't want to think about. He thought back to the dates of his high school years, of awkward conversations and sweaty hand-holding and he almost walked out of his room to tell Jared it was a stupid idea and that they should just forget it. Before he had time to do it though, he heard a knock on his bedroom door.

"Can I come in?" Jared asked.

"Yeah," Jensen said, pulling at the hem of his green polo shirt.

"I was just..." Jared said as he walked inside the room but he fell silent when he looked at Jensen. "Oh..."

"I'm..." Jensen started, looking at his own reflection once more. "I can't really fit to my best clothes anymore, maybe we..."

"Hey," Jared stopped him. "You look great. Come, let's head out to the restaurant and get to know each other."

Jensen smiled at that and followed Jared out of the room. In the two days since he had moved in with Jared they hadn't really talked about anything meaningful, Jared insisting they should save it for their date and Jensen had gone along with it. He remembered Josh's booming laugh over the line when he had called his brother to fill him in on everything that had happened and while Josh had seemed concerned, he still said Jensen had made the right choice and even went as far as wishing him good luck with Jared.

And good luck in the wonderful world of dating, little brother. Remember, don't put out until the third date.

Thinking back, Jensen thought he had been in the right to hang up on his brother.

"Hey there, where did you go?"

Only then did Jensen realize he had pretty much zoned out, not even noticing that they had gone outside and were standing in front of the two steps leading up to the house.

"Sorry," Jensen said quickly. "I just...a lot to think about I guess."

Jared just smiled and reached out to take Jensen's hand; it wasn't the first time he had done so but this was different from the times he had tried to comfort Jensen, this was handholding with intent and it made all the difference in the world.

"C'mere," Jared said and to Jensen's surprise he lead him around the corner and stopped to unlock a heavy steel door before he pulled Jensen inside with him.

"Um...Jay?" Jensen asked, jumping when the door slammed shut behind them.

"This is the backdoor to the garage," Jared explained. "I've got my babies safely tucked away here."

They walked through a narrow corridor that opened up into an underground garage and Jensen soon caught sight of where Jared's huge SUV was parked a few spots away from the sleek car Jared had driven him home with before and Jensen wasn't really surprised when he saw the Mustang brand glinting in the overhead light. What did surprise him was the other two cars parked in between the two he knew were Jared's.

The silver Chrysler convertible wasn't the biggest surprise, even though it did take his breath away for a moment, but what surprised him was the deep red car nestled in between the Chrysler and the SUV and Jensen was just about to ask when Jared stroked his fingers lovingly over the car before he walked Jensen over to the Chrysler and got in without opening the door, throwing his long legs over it and sliding into the seat.

"Is the red one yours as well?" Jensen asked as he opened the door and slid into place.

"She was my first car," Jared answered with a fond smile. "Bought her back in college and I swear, she was a mess but I loved her. When I got some money, fixing her up was the first thing on my list."

There was so much love in his voice when he spoke about the car that it made Jensen's heart clench but he smiled, fastening his seat belt in place as Jared backed out of the parking spot and started navigating his way out of the garage.

"I like cars," Jared admitted. "And I have money enough to get the cars I want, but usually I sell them in a year or two, but not Belle; her I'll keep forever."

"Belle?" Jensen asked.

Jared laughed and grinned over at Jensen.

"Oh please, cut me some slack, I was a fresh-faced freshman when I named her."

"I like the name," Jensen said. "She's a beauty."

It had obviously been the right thing to say because Jared's grin faded away, replaced by a soft smile as they drove out into the warmth of the early summers evening.

"Yeah, she really is."

"Are you gonna tell me," Jensen asked. "Because, seeing all of your cars I'm dying to know who you are."

"I thought you'd have figured it out by now," Jared said, almost too quiet to be heard above the engine and the noises of the city around them.

"I've been...distracted," Jensen said, because he truly hadn't focused on much beyond trying to adjust to his new life.

"I'm Jared Padalecki," Jared said then.

Jensen frowned, he had figured out Jared's surname but he hadn't thought about it, too busy unpacking and worrying and crying over the parents he had left behind, but when Jared said it again he felt like the name should mean something.

"I'm better known as J.T. Padalecki," Jared added.

That was a name Jensen knew too well, it was a name that everyone should know and he cursed his own stupidity and not putting two and two together earlier.

"Jesus," he breathed out.

J.T. Padalecki, the man that had spent more weeks than anyone on the NY Times Bestseller list, the man that had sold the movie rights to his latest book for sums that had made Jensen feel dizzy when he’d heard about it. The man that was known for never appearing in pictures and whose entire book collection was one thing that Jensen had been sad he hadn't been able to bring with him from home. And J.T. Padalecki was the father of his unborn child.

"You truly didn't know?" Jared asked.

Jensen just stared at him, unable to get a single word out but he felt relieved when Jared pulled in on a side street and parked the car, turning in his seat to face Jensen.

"You're freaking out?" Jared asked.

"Yeah," Jensen croaked out and Jared winced. "I'm... Jesus, Jared. I'm a huge fan."

"Really?" Jared asked. "I didn't... you've read my stuff?"

Blinking a few times Jensen tried to get through the confusion but he thought he was inching closer and closer to a full scale freak-out.

"I'm sorry," Jared said. "I should have told you earlier. I just don't like people judging me for that, I'm... I wanted you to know me, to come home with me, and when everything happened it just was easier not to tell."

"Easier," Jensen parroted. "Right."

"Oh for..."

Jensen didn't have time to react before Jared had unfastened his seatbelt and shifted Jensen around in the seat enough to be able to press their lips together in a soft kiss that very effectively wiped Jensen's mind clean from all thoughts and concerns.

"I'm still just me," Jared breathed against his lips.

"You're...richer than God," Jensen managed to get out.

"Yeah," Jared said with a shrug. "It's just money, Jensen. It doesn't mean anything besides the fact that I can take care of you and..."

Jared reached out and placed one big hand on Jensen's belly, fingers splayed wide and Jensen stared down. It was the first time Jared had touched him like that and the touch felt so intimate it took Jensen's breath away.

"It's just me," Jared whispered. "Just the three of us. Please..."

"Let's go on our date," Jensen said softly.

The smile on Jared's face was almost brilliant enough to hurt and when he started driving again, he did it one-handed, his other hand tangled with Jensen's again.

"So you've written some of my favorite characters," Jensen pointed out. "I've got so many questions!"

Jared laughed and maneuvered them off the main street and through several smaller streets before he pulled to a stop in front of a steakhouse that Jensen had never heard of before.

"Best burgers in town," Jared said as he got out of the car. "Don't expect fancy restaurants from me, no matter the size of my bank account."

For some reason that made Jensen feel a lot better and they walked into the restaurant close enough for their hands to brush.

-¤-

When Jensen blinked his eyes open he did so with a small smile on his lips as he heard Jared move around in the kitchen and even though Jensen longed for the bitterness of the coffee he could smell, in that moment he felt content. He lay still in the bed for a few long moments, thinking about how much his life had changed since he had come to live with Jared a month earlier. They had been on several more dates and more than once had Jensen cursed his own stupidity for having run out on Jared the first time they met because the person he was slowly getting to know, he was pretty damn amazing.

A sharp rap of knuckles against his door brought him out of his thoughts and he heard Jared call out a good morning before the man pushed the door open, not waiting for Jensen to answer.

"Rise and shine," he said as he stepped inside. "I've got plans for today!"

Jensen pushed himself up into a sitting position, shifting awkwardly when the sheet fell down to pool around his waist and Jared's gaze fell down to where Jensen's rounded belly was on full display. In the month that had passed since he had found Jared again his body had changed from looking like he put on some weight, to him looking obviously pregnant. For all the dates they had been on, the soft kisses they had shared while slowly sliding into something that looked more and more like a serious relationship, it was the first time Jared had seen him in a state of undress.

"Jesus," Jared breathed out. "You look..."

"I know," Jensen said and pulled the sheet back up to cover himself.

"Gorgeous," Jared said, making Jensen stop mid-motion.

Jensen opened his mouth to speak but before he could get a single word out, Jared was across the room and sitting down on the edge of Jensen's bed, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Jensen's mouth. The heat of Jared's mouth against his took Jensen's breath away and he moaned into the kiss when Jared deepened it, his tongue finding its way in between Jensen's lips.

"I thought you had plans," Jensen breathed out, hoping to distract Jared because no matter how good it felt he really wasn't ready to take things further just yet.

"I do," Jared said with a grin and got back up. "Get dressed, you're too distracting like this."

His fingers brushed the curve of Jensen's belly as he stood up and the soft touch was enough to make Jensen shiver but when the door closed behind Jared he got up and headed for the bathroom, determinedly ignoring the way his dick had hardened when Jared kissed him.

Showered and dressed, Jensen made his way out from his room and out to the kitchen where he could hear Jared move around once more but before he could step inside he heard a phone go off and he stopped in place when he heard Jared answer.

"Hey, mom."

For all he had found out about Jared in the last month, Jensen realized that he had only heard about Jared's brother and sister, never about his parents.

"What? I thought you'd be gone longer... No. Today? Mom..."

Jared didn't sound like he really focused on the phone call, but then suddenly his voice changed and Jensen thought he sounded worried, all focus apparently on the conversation.

"Now really isn't a good time. Yes, I know it's been..."

A deep sigh escaped Jared and Jensen wondered just what Jared's mom might be telling him

"Mom, no. You can't come stay with me right now!"

To Jensen's surprise Jared sounded almost angry and he took as step forward, looking around the corner and into the kitchen where Jared was leaning against one long counter, phone in one hand and forgotten piece of toast in the other.

"Because..." Jared started but then he lowered his voice. "I can't, okay. Not right now. I'll tell you more but... Yeah. Well, it's complicated."

Jensen took a step back, leaning against the wall trying to make sense of Jared's words. One thing was painfully clear though, Jensen might not know about Jared's parents but it was obvious that they didn't know about Jensen either and that was not something Jensen had expected. He was living with Jared after all and in just a few months they would have a kid, and yet he hadn't told his parents. Anger and humiliation rose in Jensen and he wondered how it's complicated could sound so much like little problem.

"Jensen, what are you... oh fuck..."

It was obvious from Jared's words that he had quickly realized that Jensen had overheard the conversation with his mother and Jensen didn't even look up to confirm it, he just wrapped his arms around himself and wondered how he could have messed up so spectacularly.

"Hey, Jen," Jared said softly and Jensen felt Jared's big hand on his shoulder. "I can expl..."

"What am I to you?" Jensen interrupted but he didn't look up. "Your dirty little secret?"

"What? No! God, of course not," Jared answered without a moment’s hesitation and Jensen really wanted to believe him. "It's not like that. It's just..."

"Complicated," Jensen said with a bitter laugh.

"It is complicated, damnit!" Jared snapped and took a step back, pushing his hair out of his face. "I didn't plan for this, you know."

"You haven't told them about me," Jensen pointed out, daring to look up when Jared's back was turned against him. "I've been here for a month, I'm pregnant with your baby and they don't even know about me."

Jared spun around then and he looked angrier than Jensen had ever seen him before, no trace of the dimples that Jensen loved touching.

"You could at least ask me to explain," Jared snapped. "But no, you just assume the worst. Gonna run out on me in the middle of the night again?"

"That's not fair..." Jensen said and he felt like Jared had just slapped him, the words reminding him just how much he had fucked up that first night.

"No, maybe it's not," Jared said. "You know what else isn't fair? The fact that my parents have been travelling around Europe and Asia for the last two months so I haven't been able to tell them and you know what? I kinda didn't feel like telling my mom over the damn phone."

"I..." Jensen started but Jared wasn't done yet.

"She and dad wanted to come here and stay for a week, but I didn't want that because I thought it would be a bit much for you, having them here for so long. And you think, what? That I'm ashamed of you? Nice, Jensen, really nice!"

Fighting back against the rising emotions that Jared's words triggered in him Jensen really hoped he would be able to keep his tears at bay but he could already feel them burning behind his eyelids and no matter how much he tried to blink them away they started falling down his cheeks.

"Crying every time something gets serious isn't really making this any better," Jared muttered angrily.

Jensen flinched at that but it made anger rise higher than the guilt and regret he had felt just a few seconds ago and he pushed away from the wall, stepping closer to Jared.

"You think I want to be like this?" he almost shouted. "I'm a wreck! I'm fat, my feet hurt, my back hurts and I'm tired all the fucking time. And you wanna know how fun cravings are? Not at fucking all! All I want is...oh..."

Jared spun around when he heard the sudden, surprised gasp from Jensen and he saw the man standing with one hand pressing over the swell of his belly but when he looked up at Jared there was no trace of the previous anger, instead his eyes were wide with awe.

"Jared..." Jensen said softly and closed the distance between them, reaching for Jared's hand. "Come..."

"Jen," Jared tried to interrupt him. "We were..."

"No, no," Jensen said and dragged Jared's hand to lay beside his on his belly. "Feel, you have to feel this... Jared... Our baby moved!"

Jared knew that Jensen had felt a fluttering inside for weeks; he had seen Jensen's belly grow with the life inside and yet nothing of that felt as real as the sudden movement under his hand and Jared felt his own jaw drop when he looked down to where something was pressing against his palm. No, not something but someone.

"It's really our baby," Jared mumbled and without really thinking it through he pushed Jensen's shirt up so that he could spread his hands over bare skin.

He could barely explain it even to himself but before that moment, a part of what was happening just hadn't felt real but there was no denying the movement under his hand and all the emotions that he had tried to keep at bay came welling up inside him.

"Jared, what are you..." he heard Jensen say but he didn't really listen, too busy falling down on his knees in front of the man and pressing his cheek against Jensen's belly.

Another small kick made the skin move and Jared looked up at Jensen with wide eyes and he could feel his cheeks hurt with how wide he smiled.

"I've wanted to touch you for weeks, but to feel this? Oh Jen, I'm almost happy I waited. You're...god you're so perfect."

Jensen's gaze fell away and Jared frowned, stroking his fingers soothingly over Jensen's belly.

"Perfect? Not an emotional little bitch with a weird-ass craving for lemons?"

Jared pressed a kiss to Jensen's belly before he stood up and pulled Jensen in close, feeling the swell of his belly against his body.

"I'm an idiot," Jared said softly. "I just...the thing with my parents.. I hated it, not having them here for this. I fucking wanted to brag about you, Jen. That I..."

Jensen looked up then and there was a small smile on his lips, a shy little curve of his lips that made Jared think of the shy boy that had intrigued him so much when he had first seen him at the club so many months earlier.

"Brag about me?" Jensen asked softly.

"Yeah, but instead I acted like an asshole," Jared sighed. "It's just... a stupid deadline approaching and I took stuff out on you. You don't deserve that."

"Can we...go back to you bragging about me?" Jensen said and his smile grew wider.

"It's what you're supposed to do," Jared said with a small shrug. "It's what you do when your boyfriend is carrying your child."

Jensen's eyes grew wide and soft, lips falling open and Jared had to focus to not just lean in and steal a kiss, he really wanted to see Jensen's reaction to his words, after all.

"Boyfriend?" Jensen asked, sounding slightly stunned.

"We've been on dates, we're living together and we're gonna have a baby," Jared said. "And I really want you to be my boyfriend."

Jensen's eyes turned almost liquid and the next moment Jared felt soft lips press against his as Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared's neck and pulled him down into a kiss.

"Jay," Jensen moaned into the kiss.

Jared didn't bother with more words, not when his hands found their way in under Jensen's shirt, stroking over warm skin and Jensen willingly lifted his arms up as Jared pulled the shirt off and threw it away without really caring where it landed. Apparently Jared was allowed to touch and he really planned to make the most of it, his hands moving from Jensen's hips and up over the swell of his belly, stopping to marvel at the feel of movement beneath the palm of his hand.

Jensen's hands moved down between them, fingers working Jared's jeans open and Jared pulled back slightly, holding Jensen back.

"Hey, shouldn't we take it a bit slow?" he asked, fingers still stroking over Jensen's bare skin.

A small laugh escaped Jensen and he looked pointedly down on his bare belly and then back up to Jared.

"Are you kidding me?" Jensen asked. "Jared...I've only ever been with you and that was months ago... Wanna know something that can happen during pregnancy?"

"Um," Jared said, highly distracted by the fact that Jensen was unbuttoning his own pants and slowly sliding them down.

"I'm horny, all the time, and if I get to have you? Then there's no way we're taking it slow."

Jared laughed but then he took a quick step forward and reached down to grip Jensen tightly, lifting him off the floor. He knew that it was a position he wouldn't be able to hold him in for much longer; the man's belly growing bigger each day, but as it was Jensen wrapped his legs around Jared's waist and Jared's hands slid down to cup Jensen's ass,

"I'm okay with this," he said, carrying Jensen to the man's bedroom, not having patience enough to take them to the main bedroom.

Laying Jensen down on the bed, Jared stopped for a moment to just look down at him, taking in the expanse of pale skin laid out before him and he saw a blush creep up Jensen's neck, turning even redder when Jared just stayed there, watching him. Jensen raised one eyebrow at Jared and then he smiled, letting his hands drift down to cup his belly at the same time as he pulled his knees up enough for Jared to get a very nice view.

"Damn..." he breathed out.

"Still wanna take it slow?" Jensen asked, cheeks still pink.

Jared thought that was one of the things he had first fallen for when it came to Jensen: the delicious combination of shy and teasing that had Jared's cock throbbing.

"Hell, no," Jared said and got up on the bed, shifting until he was kneeling in between Jensen's spread legs.

When he stroked his fingers over pale thighs, Jensen moaned softly and allowed for his legs to fall further apart and Jared reached down to grab his boyfriend's hard cock. Slowly stroking Jensen's cock he groaned when his knuckles brushed against Jensen's belly. Everything just became so much better, emotions stronger than he could ever have imagined, due to the fact that Jensen was heavy with his child. Over five months since he had first met Jensen and Jared knew he had a lot of time to make up for.

Jensen's hips rose off the bed, thrusting his dick into the lose grip of Jared's hand on his cock and Jensen whimpered in frustration when Jared didn't allow him the friction he was so clearly looking for. Without taking his hand off Jensen, he reached over towards the bedside table; as much as he wanted to lean in and lick Jensen open for his cock he was sure that neither of them would have the stamina to last through that, and he needed to get inside Jensen soon.

"There we go," he said with a grin as his hand closed around a tube of KY and then he frowned slightly when he realized it was unopened. "Jen, did you plan for this?"

"Hoped for," Jensen admitted as he took the tube from Jared's hands and managed to get it open, slicking his own fingers up only to frown slightly when he looked down at his belly.

It took Jared a moment to realize that Jensen wouldn't be able to reach down to open himself up like he had obviously meant to and Jared smirked slightly when he grabbed the lube to pour it freely over his own fingers before he dropped them down between Jensen's legs. A low moan escaped Jensen and his hips rocked down against Jared's fingers at the first brush against his opening. Jensen lifted his own slick hand to wrap around his cock and Jared groaned at the sight in front of him.

Carefully Jared slid one finger inside and Jensen let out a soft moan, no trace of discomfort on his face and he started circling his hips only to let out a soft cry when he managed to get Jared's finger to brush against his prostate.

"More," Jensen pleaded. "I can take more, want to.. please..."

Jared pushed another slick finger inside, marveling at how good Jensen's body took it and the moans and whimpers that fell from Jensen's lips. His own cock was rock hard and he fumbled with his free hand to get his jeans down enough to free it, breathing out a sigh of relief when he felt cool air against heated skin. He saw Jensen look down his body, pink tongue coming out to wet his lips when he took in the hard length of Jared's cock and Jared smiled, twisting his fingers inside Jensen until the man was trembling with need.

"Been so long...wanna..wanna..."

Jensen didn't manage to get out just what he wanted because suddenly his back arched, a perfect bow that made his belly even more prominent. The next second he came with a soft cry, painting his own hand and belly with come and Jared stilled his finger inside the tight heat of Jensen's ass, feeling muscles clench tightly around him. When Jensen fell back down on the bed, breath heavy and his green eyes heavy-lidded in pleasure, Jared took the time to slide a third finger inside Jensen's soft, pliant body. He wasn't sure that Jensen actually needed it, not with how relaxed he lay sprawled out on the bed.

"Think you're ready?" Jared asked, circling his fingers inside Jensen and he smile when Jensen trembled and nodded desperately.

"Please, so ready."

Jared nodded and reached for the lube, not even bothering to think it through as he slicked up his bare cock. He knew what Jensen felt like, slick and tight around him, and he needed to feel that again.

"Not like this," Jared said and pulled his fingers free.

Both his hands were sticky with lube but he didn't care as he pulled Jensen up on his knees and shifted around until he was behind the man, his cock nestled in the cleft of Jensen's ass. Jensen moaned softly and tilted his head to the side and despite the awkward position Jared allowed himself to indulge by licking into the wet heat of his boyfriend's mouth. Jensen moaned and pressed back against Jared and the friction against Jared's hard cock was almost more than he could take. He pulled back from Jensen's lips, one last lick to full lips before he shifted the man forward enough to align his cock with Jensen's asshole, pushing forward ever so slightly. With one hand on Jensen's shoulder, the other one firm on his hip, Jared pushed inside, his eyes locked on where his cock was slowly spreading Jensen wide.

"Oh..." Jensen gasped and Jard could feel him tense up.

"Relax," Jared breathed out against Jensen's ear. "C'mon, gonna fill you up so good."

Jensen moaned again but he took a deep breath and Jared felt tight muscle slowly relax around him, letting him slide all the way inside until he was balls deep in the perfect heat of Jensen's ass. When he let go of Jensen's shoulder, he almost fell forward, gripping the headboard as the same time as he pushed back against Jared's cock. The change in position gave Jensen more leverage to move and Jared allowed one hand to slide around Jensen but instead of wrapping his fingers around Jensen's cock, he spread his fingers wide over the rounded swell of Jensen's belly instead.

Jared had had a lot of good sex, but nothing compared to sliding in and out of Jensen, feeling the curve of his belly under his fingers and the small movements under taut skin, it was the most erotic thing Jared had ever felt.

"Jensen...god..." Jared moaned.

"More," Jensen gasped and arched his back, making Jared's slide all the way inside before Jared was fully prepared for it and the movement startled deep moans from the both of them. "Please, just...more..."

Jared pulled back slowly, holding still with only the head of his cock keeping Jensen open and he didn't move until a low whimper left Jensen's lips.

"Don't wanna hurt you or...." Jared stroked his hand over Jensen's belly, showing just what he was talking about.

"You won't..." Jensen promised. "Just...damn Jared, I need you to fuck me. Please...I've dreamt about it since January."

"Oh fuck," Jared groaned. "I...yeah...okay..."

He pushed back in, as slow as he could manage and Jensen reached behind him, one hand landing on Jared's hip and nails digging into skin. That was all Jared could take and he pulled back out before slamming in again with one hard thrust that made his cock drag right over Jensen's prostate. After that there was no way he could keep back anymore; just the knowledge that Jensen had been longing for it just as much as Jared had was enough for his cock to throb where it was pushing deep inside Jensen.

"Gonna fill you up again," Jared promised. "Make you come with my cock inside you, fuck you so good you'll feel it in the morning...and then I'll take you again, wake you up by sliding back into you."

"Jesus...yes..." Jensen gasped, his fingers gripping Jared's hip even tighter.

Jared leaned forward, his chest pressing against the sweat slick skin of Jensen's back and he reached above Jensen to grip the headboard next to where Jensen's hand was resting, the other still stroked over Jensen's belly.

"Come for me," Jared whispered, pressing kisses against Jensen's should and up the sensitive skin of his neck. "I know what you feel like when you come, wanna feel it again, feel you squeezing me tight and..."

His words were cut out when Jensen cried out, his inner muscles locking incredibly tight around Jared and his hips stuttered to a halt, buried all the way inside Jensen as his own orgasm was ripped from him, blinding pleasure coursing through him when Jensen moaned and writhed on his cock. He managed to pull himself together enough to move, fuck the both of them through their release until he felt his legs starting to give way.

"Jensen," he moaned, managing to keep himself up long enough to pull out and let Jensen slide down on the bed, one hand still protectively placed over his baby growing inside Jensen.

Jensen lay down on his side, a sated, lazy smile on his lips as he looked up at Jared.

"So I'm your boyfriend now?" he said, words slightly slurred.

"You already were, we were just too slow to realize it," Jared grinned and allowed himself to collapse next Jensen on the bed, fitting himself up behind Jensen and holding him close. Now that it's official...there's something I want you to have."

Jensen looked back over his shoulder, blinking sleepily as he looked at Jared.

"Oh?" he asked.

"I want you to have Belle," Jared said, smiling down at his boyfriend.

It was something he had decided when he realized he was falling for Jensen all over again, he loved the car but he very seldom used it and he knew that Jensen would take care of his girl, just the way Jared was taking care of Jensen.

"Are you sure?" Jensen asked, sounding stunned.

There was no doubt in Jared's mind, he just hoped Jensen would realize what the gift meant but looking down at the man next to him, he was quite sure that he did even though no words had been said.

- - Epilogue - -

Jensen closed the front door and leaned his forehead against the smooth wood as he listened to his own parents talk to Jared's parents on the other side of the door. He wasn't able to actually hear what they were talking about but he was sure that it was about him, him and Jared. A few months earlier the very thought would have terrified him, but instead he found himself smiling softly. With one last deep breath he pushed away from the door and went in search of his boyfriend, not really surprised to find him in the kitchen, putting dishes into the dishwasher while he hummed low to himself.

"I think that went well," Jensen said as he entered the kitchen.

"Yeah," Jared said, closing the dishwasher. "I still don't think either of our parents are all that happy about us keeping the baby but..."

"They'll come around when they'll meet her," Jensen said, looking down at his own huge belly. "Soon..."

Jared crossed the space between them, placing big hands on Jensen's belly and they both smiled when they felt their daughter move inside. Mere days away from his due date, Jensen couldn't believe that the thing he’d thought would ruin his life had made everything so much better but he felt at home with Jared, in the big house that he sometimes still couldn't really believe that he lived in.

"I never expected to be here," Jensen said with a small smile.

"Yeah, me neither," Jared said, tilting Jensen's head back until he could claim his lips in a soft kiss.

Looking up at Jared Jensen knew his feelings for the man, even though they hadn't come close to actually actually talking about them just yet and he opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by a sharp pain in his belly that took all breath away.

"Oh Jesus fuck," he gasped out, pressing his hands against his belly.

"What? Oh my god, Jensen, what's happening? Are you alright, baby?" Jared asked, voice laced with concern and fear.

A small part of Jensen's brain registered that it was the first time Jared had used pet names outside of their bed, but the bigger part was focused on the cramps he suddenly felt and even so it took him a few long terrified moments to realize just what was happening.

"Jay..." he gasped. "I think...you need to get the car ready."

"Is it bad, should I call an ambulance? Please Jensen, tell me what's..."

"Our little baby girl wants to come out," Jensen said, smiling for a second before another sharp bolt of pain cut through him. "Oh f.... and I think she's coming much faster...than we expected."

Jared's eyes went wide and his mouth fell open and for a moment Jensen wondered if the man had even heard him, but then Jared was moving, his phone already in hand as he ran up the stairs without another word to Jensen. Jensen would have been offended, had he not heard Jared demand to talk to Jensen's midwife and despite the unexpected pains, Jensen felt himself relax as he sank down on a chair, waiting for Jared to return. He didn't need to wait long before Jared came thundering down the stairs, Jensen's little overnight bag in one hand and phone still clutched in the other even though he wasn't speaking into it.

"Taxi should be here any moment," Jared said. "I offered them a lot of money to get here soon."

"Jay..." Jensen managed to get out through gritted teeth; relaxed or not the contractions still hurt. "We have a car, actually...we have several cars. Some of them you even drive."

With a small laugh Jared held the hand holding the phone up and Jensen could see he how much he was shaking.

"I don't think I should get behind a wheel right now," Jared said. "Come, baby, let me help you."

Jensen was close to telling Jared to stop fussing, but when another contraction set in he was more than grateful to have Jared's strong arm around his waist and Jared's huge body next to him, making sure he didn't stumble. Outside a car horn sounded and Jensen raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

"Just how much did you offer them to get here this fast?" he asked.

"Um, a lot?" Jared said with a shrug. "We need to get you to the hospital, soon. C'mon."

When they stepped outside the taxi driver stepped outside to open the car door and Jensen saw the man's gaze flicker down to where Jared's hand was resting protectively over his belly.

"We're in a hurry here, I guess?" he said when Jared guided Jensen inside.

"I swear, your tip will be amazing if you get us there quickly," Jared promised.

Jensen was just about to say something but instead he let out a pained gasp when another contraction set in and he didn't really come back to himself until Jared and the driver were both seated.

"Jesus," he hissed out. "Can't someone tell this little one that she's not able to come out just yet?"

Not for the first time did Jensen curse the mess-up in human evolution that had led to him being able to become pregnant, but not able to actually deliver his baby without the help of some doctors and their sharp tools. He hadn't admitted to Jared just how nervous he was, but he thought that maybe his boyfriend knew after all, considering how Jared pulled him close, kissing Jensen softly all the way until they reached the hospital and Jensen was herded out of the car and into a wheelchair.

"Hello, Mr.Ackles," Dr. Cera greeted him with a smile.

"Doctor, what's happening? Is there something wrong with my little girl? It's early, it's too early, she's not scheduled until..."

"Calm down, Jensen," Dr. Cera interrupted him, still smiling. "There's nothing wrong with you, or your girl. Sometimes the little ones just want out faster. Mr. Padalecki told me that the both of you have been a bit stressed lately, that might be why. Or she's just quick on the draw. Either way, we'll make sure you'll meet her soon enough."

-¤-

Jensen wasn't sure how many times he had drifted in and out of sleep, but each time he woke up Jared was sitting next to his bed, their tiny daughter in his arm.

"Did I sleep long?" Jensen mumbled drowsily.

"No," Jared said with a soft smile. "You've only been out for around fifteen minutes. I'm happy you woke up though because I think they wanna put her down for sleep soon."

When Jensen reached out, Jared was there in an instant and put the tiny bundle in Jensen's arms and he was sure he could actually feel his heart swell with love when he pressed a tender kiss to the barely-there down on her head.

"She's amazing," he said softly. "So, have we settled on a name or should we argue about it a bit more, just for fun?"

Jared laughed and sat down on the edge of Jensen's bed, careful to not jostle Jensen too much and Jensen was grateful for it; even with painkillers he was all too aware of the stitches from where they had opened him up to bring their girl into the world.

"I think we're all set," Jared said and reached out to stroke over a rounded baby cheek. "Welcome to the world, Wendi, we're your daddies."

Even though he knew children as young as Wendi couldn't smile, Jensen still thought he could see the ghost of a smile on her small face.

"Then we just need to decide one other thing," Jared said. "Should she be Ackles-Padalecki or Padalecki-Ackles?"

The surname of their daughter was something Jensen had thought about several times, even more so since the day that they had found themselves in a real relationship. He knew just what name he wanted, but he didn't know how he could ask for it, still scared of how Jared would react if he did. Beside him he could feel Jared shift on the bed, obviously waiting for Jensen's answer but Jensen had no idea what he was supposed to say. Then Jared moved forward and pressed a kiss to Jensen's forehead before he put one hand under Jensen's chin to push his head up until they locked gazes.

"Or maybe you don't want a double name?" he said, small smile on his lips. "Maybe the both of you should be Padalecki."

"Jared?" Jensen said, not daring to hope that Jared was actually saying what Jensen thought he was.

"Jensen," Jared said smile growing wider. "I love you, and now that we have Wendi...you would make me so very happy if you would marry me."

"You love me?" Jensen asked but he could feel his own smile growing.

"Yeah," Jared said. "I really do."

Looking down at their baby girl resting in his arms and then back up to Jared's hopeful face there was no doubt in Jensen's mind what his answer would be. He had never expected himself to be married before he turned twenty, but then he had never planned to be a parent that early either. Sometimes things changed for the better.

"I love you," he said, smiling so wide it almost hurt.

"Does that mean you want to marry me?" Jared asked.

"Yeah," Jensen answered. "I really want to marry you!"

- The End -