Chapter Text
Harry never meant to hurt anyone. He never wanted to cause so much pain. He never looked for trouble.
The problem with Harry was trouble usually came looking for him.
And it always found him.
When he was first found on the Dursleys' doorstep he had caused trouble. He didn't mean to do it but he had anyway.
He could remember Vernon's shouts of "Absolutely not!", Petunia's shrieking "How dare they!", and even his older cousin (then a baby) screaming because he wasn't getting enough attention. Maybe that's what started his 11-year hatred for Harry; he stole all the attention.
11 years. It should have been longer. It wasn't.
He was only 3 when it started. Despite keeping Harry away from them as much as possible, Petunia still noticed the first time he used magic.
Dudley had been crying, he always cried. But it was particularly bad one night, his screams loud enough to shatter the windows of the house had he been going at it for longer. Of course, the Dursleys usually ignored his tantrums. "He's just a sensitive little boy," Petunia would persist whilst Vernon would puff his chest proudly and brag about his son's incredible set of lungs.
But it was one of the worse nights Harry could remember. And as he was making his way to the kitchen he heard Vernon mutter "I wish he would stop, just for a minute." And Harry looked at Dudley and then… he stopped. Instantly. Small beads of tears appeared in his eyes and his cheeks became redder and redder but no matter how much Dudley tried, his lips would make no sound.
Vernon's eyes widened, a slight grin escaping his lips. But Petunia narrowed her eyes, glaring at Harry. She considered him for a moment and then snapped.
"What have you done to him!"
Harry looked at her in surprise, so did Vernon.
"Petunia?"
"He did something to Dudders, made him stop crying, something weird!"
Vernon went pale. "You don't think... it couldn't be?"
They exchanged a look and their expressions darkened.
"Go to your room Harry," Petunia said softly. Harry just looked at her innocently.
"Did you not hear her!" Vernon shouted. "Go to your room! Now!"
Harry continued to stare, confused.
“What’s wrong with you!” Vernon snarled, storming over to Harry.
”Go-to-your-fucking-room!”
Harry looked up at his towering uncle. “But-“
SLAP
The sound rang out like a gunshot. Petunia let out a small cry and even Dudley stopped whimpering and turned to face Harry.
Harry clutched his cheek, his lip quivering as he stared at his uncle in shock.
What had he done wrong? Vernon wanted Dudley to stop so he made him stop. Why wasn’t he thanking him?
No sooner had he opened his mouth to protest was Uncle Vernon dragged him out of the kitchen, shoving him inside the cupboard under the stairs and angrily slamming the door shut.The light was switched off, leaving Harry alone in the darkness with nothing but his thoughts for company.
And that was what started it. The chain of events that would soon lead to the end of the boy who lived and the beginning of the monster who followed.
-`✦´-
When Harry was 5 more signs of magic started to show. His glasses were fixed every time Dudley broke them, his hair grew back in a day whenever Aunt Petunia gave him a short haircut and - on one memorable occasion - all the food from the Dursley's plate had vanished after Petunia had given Harry a particularly small portion.
Every time Harry would be questioned, shouted at, threatened and usually beaten before being locked in the cupboard for the rest of the day. Sometimes he told himself it was worth it just to cause them the trouble. Most times he fell asleep crying.
Much to his displeasure, when Harry turned 7 his magic had become stronger. He tried to hide it as best as he could but there were always moments when he wasn't quick enough for Petunia's sharp glares.
Every time he showed a sign of magic he would be punished accordingly. By the time Harry was 9 he could trace each wound on his body to the exact moment he had used magic.
A dark bruise on his leg he was given for accidentally exploding a jug of water. A small patch on his forearm from when Petunia pressed a boiling kettle against it after he had caused a fire to erupt from a small candle. An ugly scar that ran across his back after he hurled one of his aunt Marge's beloved dogs over the garden fence.
And every time Harry would cry and beg for forgiveness but to no avail. The Dursleys made it clear that as long as he continued to use magic he would be punished.
He lay awake one night, sniffling and holding back sobs as he nursed a deep cut slashed across his palm.
"You're unholy," Aunt Petunia had hissed at him whilst holding a belt, "Pray for redemption and perhaps then you can lead a moral life." She tightened her hold on Harry's palm and raised the belt higher.
It wasn't like Harry tried to use magic; in fact, he frequently tried not to. But it was unstoppable, running through his veins like a river and exploding out of him without warning.
He told himself that maybe if he stopped the Dursleys would finally love him. He muttered countless prayers to himself that night.
Please take away my magic
Please take away my magic
Please take away my magic
He repeated the phrase again and again. But nothing happened. Or rather, something worse did.
·━◆━·
"Not another fucking letter!"
Vernon grabbed Harry's hair and dragged him to the cupboard, throwing him on the bed and ripping the letter he had tried to hide into pieces.
"I-I just wanted to see what it said," Harry muttered, tears streaming down his face.
"Shut up," Vernon snarled, punching Harry hard in the face. "Do you understand the trouble you're putting us through? It should have been straight to the orphanage with you the minute you arrived at our doorstep but no, out of the kindness of our hearts we took you in, raised you, gave you a place to stay and this is how you repay us!"
He hit Harry again, ignoring the pained shout he let out. "We'll be going away tomorrow, to escape this madness, do you see what you're doing to us!" Another slap, another cry.
"Now listen boy," he hissed, voice laced with venom. "I don't want to see another letter like this again, okay? Okay? If I do I'll make you wish you were never born, understand? I said do you understand!"
He slapped Harry hard across the face. "Argh- yes, yes- I understand sir!" Harry gasped.
Vernon gave him one last look of pure disgust before slamming the door shut and switching off the light, leaving Harry once more in darkness.
·━◆━·
Harry shivered where he lay, hugging his knees to his chest and curling himself into a ball. Beside him, Dudley's loud snores filled the shack as he lay comfortably on a big mattress, a thick blanket covering his large stomach. Vernon and Petunia occupied the only bed, leaving Harry to make do with the hard floorboards of the shack.
As a storm wailed loudly outside, Harry used the dirt-covered floor to trace himself a message. Happy Birthday. He smiled in spite of himself, knowing it would be the only birthday message he'll receive.
He had been eleven for ten whole minutes and was already miserable.
Suddenly, the door of the shack flew off its hinges causing rain to pour in and the Dursleys to wake up shrieking. Gusts of wind flew inside, bellowing and screaming as a giant-like figure stood by the door. Harry shrunk against the wall, terrified.
He expected to see a great beast loom over him. Perhaps even let out a roar. The man stepped closer and Harry imagined his teeth were snarling, saliva dripping out of his open mouth.
"Sorry 'bout that."
Harry stared as the man lifted the door as if it weighed nothing and popped it back onto its hinges. He had a rather normal voice; it sounded apologetic, not evil or dangerous.
"Bit cold in here, do you mind?"
A pink umbrella was withdrawn and the next moment the shack was lit up by a warm fire, allowing Harry to get a good look at the stranger.
He was larger than anyone Harry knew, wearing a stained coat and sporting bushy black hair. He towered over everyone in the shack but Harry was not afraid, because he could see his eyes were warm and kind.
"That you Harry?"
Dudley whimpered as the man turned to face him. "I-I'm not Harry," he stuttered.
The man frowned. "Then where the ruddy hell is he?"
Harry nervously stepped forwards. "I'm Harry."
The man whirled around, beaming. "Ah there you are Harry, hm a bit peakier than I thought you'd be, here-" He produced a white box from his coat and handed it to Harry. "Mighta sat on it on the way here but I reckon it'll taste alright anyway".
Harry could hardly believe his eyes as he opened the box and saw a delicious-looking cake greeting him. Tears welled in his eyes; it was the only birthday present he had ever received. "Thank you," he said quietly.
"Hey hey there's no need to cry,” the man said, looking startled. "Here you go, wipe those away.” He gave Harry a dirty handkerchief and smiled at him.
"Um excuse me but who the bloody hell are you!"
Harry jumped, forgetting his uncle was in the shack. It seemed he had gotten over his initial shock at seeing the man and was now glaring angrily at him.
The stranger turned to face him, frowning as he did so. "Hagrid, gamekeeper for Hogwarts, who are you?"
Vernon puffed out his chest. "I happen to be Vernon Dursley thank you very much, and you are currently on my property!"
Hagrid rolled his eyes and waved a hand dismissingly in his direction. "Ah so you're Dursley then."
A horrible vein in Vernon's forehead bulged. "Yes, I am! And you-"
"What's Hogwarts?" Harry wondered out loud.
Vernon froze where he stood. Hagrid slowly turned to look at Harry. "What is- what is Hog- what d'ya mean what's Hogwarts!" He roared in disbelief.
Harry nervously took a step back. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't m-mean-"
"You! Did you not tell him!" Hagrid angrily pointed a finger at Vernon and Petunia. Petunia whimpered and clutched Vernon's arm. Vernon stiffened. "I will not be talked to like that-"
"Hogwarts is the place where yer go ter learn magic, Harry, surely yer’ve got ter know? Yer a wizard after all" Hagrid interrupted.
Harry's eyes widened. "I'm a ... what?"
"A wizard! Yer capable of performing magic! I bet yer a thumpin' good one as well, once we train you up a little."
Harry's blood turned cold. "N-No surely there must be some mistake-" he stammered.
"None at all! Here-" he thrusted a letter into Harry's hands.
"No!" Vernon shouted. "He will not be attending that ridiculous school-"
"Quiet!" Hagrid growled, pointing his umbrella in Vernon's direction. "Go on," he added kindly to Harry, who held the letter in his trembling hands.
Slowly, he opened it and read in his head:
Dear Mr Potter
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Please find the enclosed list of all the necessary books and equipment.
Term begins September 1st. We await your reply no sooner than July 31st.
Yours sincerely
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy headmistress
Harry looked up. "Is...is this real?"
Hagrid laughed. "Course it is.” He glanced at his watch. "Right well it's getting late and we best get going, I'll explain everything these two-" He threw a withering look at Vernon and Petunia "-missed out and then we can go and get yer things..."
Hagrid was saying more but Harry couldn't focus. As badly as he wanted to be free of the Dursleys, something didn't feel right Harry. He glanced at Vernon and Petunia and gulped. They had tried so hard to rid him of his "disease", and now there was a man here saying he could go and learn how to properly use it.
But Harry didn't want that - magic scared him, he wanted to be free of it. What if something bad happened, what if he hurt someone? Petunia said witches were creatures of darkness but Hagrid spoke of this school for witches and wizards like it was a good thing. Surely being a "wizard" was a bad thing?
He thought of the Durlsey's insistence that he become pure and dread filled his stomach. Going to Hogwarts would certainly banish any chances he had at seeking their reproval. How could he lead a moral life if he was surrounding himself in darkness and chaos, as they so put it?
Petunia said his parents died because of magic; it had become too unholy, too evil, it had torn them apart and destroyed them entirely. Harry was scared - he didn't want it to kill him too.
Vernon's shouts dragged him away from his thoughts; "He will not be going! We have spent a lot of time trying to rid him of that nonsense how dare you-"
"Shut it Dursley!" Hagrid snarled. "Harry Potter will attend Hogwarts! It is his every right!" He looked at Harry, ignoring Vernon's enraged scowl. "Right then Harry, are you ready, I su-"
"No!" Harry said quickly.
Hagrid blinked "Er sorry?"
"I don't want to go!" Harry responded, lowering his gaze.
Hagrid stared at him blankly "You... you don't want to-"
"Do I have a choice?" Harry asked.
Hagrid looked dumbfounded "Well of course you have a choice but-"
"Then I don't want to go," Harry said firmly.
Hagrid gaped at him in shock but Harry looked away, telling himself he was doing the right thing.
"Well uh there you have it," Vernon cleared his throat awkwardly. "If he says he doesn't want to go, then why should he-"
"I said shut it, man!" Hagrid said angrily. "Harry are... are yer sure?" He asked him softly.
Harry looked down and nodded.
Hagrid stood there, staring at Harry as if he had just sprouted an extra head. "Right well er... okay then, guess I'll just be going then.” He shuffled out of the shack, giving one last glimpse at Harry before disappearing into the night.
The Dursleys gawked at Harry for some time before Vernon strode over and clapped him across the back. "Well done boy," he said quietly. "One step closer to becoming normal, good for you."
Harry just continued to stare at the door Hagrid had exited, unsure as to whether he had made the right decision.
·━◆━·
It didn't take long for things to return to normal. The letters had stopped arriving and the Dursley's house was no longer being bombarded by owls but even then the Dursleys found ways to punish Harry.
He was too loud.
He was too quiet.
He answered back.
He ignored them.
He still made weird things happen.
He was too lazy, he did nothing at all.
And Harry tried. He tried he tried he tried. Over and over, day after day.
He tried to be a better nephew. A better cousin.
He tried to cry less when getting punished. His uncle hated it when he cried.
He tried to stop using magic. To get rid of it entirely.
But he was never good enough. And he was never going to be good enough.
So one night, when Vernon slapped him across the face for burning their dinner something inside Harry SNAPPED.
The Dursleys were lounging on the sofa, watching some cheap television show, expecting Harry to bring them their food.
Harry who hadn't slept for hours. Harry whose hands were sore from all the work. Harry who was falling apart with no one there to pick up the pieces and mend him.
And then Vernon slapped him and no one did anything, even though he yelped and clutched his face and beads of tears formed in his eyes, no one did anything.
And
So
Harry
Broke
Something dark exploded out of him, something bad and powerful. It oozed out of his body, wreaking havoc everywhere, curling around the Dursleys' throats and squeezing hard, sucking the life out of them.
They were screaming as they were lifted into the air, attacked from all directions whilst around them number 4 Privet Drive was being destroyed.
Books flew off their shelves, pages ripping out of them and flying aimlessly around the house. Picture frames shattered against the walls, the frozen portraits of the smiling Dursleys becoming slashed and slit, as if an invisible knife was at hand. Taps exploded leaving water gushing out like blood from a stab wound. Pillows were lifted into the air and ripped into pieces, feathers erupting out of them and then slowly sinking down to the now-flooded floor.
The Dursleys themselves were dropped onto the mess, bodies disfigured, eyes widened in fear, mouths letting out silent screams. Dead.
The windows were smashed by the invisible force, glass piercing every surface of the house as the obscurus slithered away from the havoc, not looking back at the damage it had caused.
Harry Potter had killed his only living relatives.
And destroyed the only place where he was safe from Voldemort.