Chapter Text
> [Location: Inside the The Baldesion Annex, Old Sharlayan]
> [Time: After Endwalker, before Post-Patch MSQ.]
“No way. Absolutely not!” Sab No barked.
“Why not? It-” Alphinaud’s query was promptly interrupted by Sab yet again.
“Just because the Scions have not visited Nagxia doesn’t mean I should be the representative! I’m not the one you’re looking for.” Sab replied swiftly.
Sab’s hair was disheveled from the sheer rage and panic that this discussion had brought. All of the Scions were shocked to see this aspect of her. No one responded until Urianger spoke.
“Prithee, breatheth but soft,” Urianger whispered.
His hands were raised in an effort to calm the Warrior of Light. Y’sthola walked over to Sab, but Sab only stepped back.
“I-I’m not-” Sab jabbered before her back hit the wall. She covered her face as Y’sthola leaned over her with concern. Sab’s tail and ears were still raised as she averted Y’sthola’s gaze. Y’sthola stepped back and slowly lowered herself to Sab’s level.
“Please, friend. Take a breath, and let us understand why you’re in such a state.” Y’sthola spoke.
Sab slowly breathes.
“It’s... It’s my past. The one thing that no one, not even the Scions, knows about because I have always refused to talk about it.” Sab expressed.
The Scions all had varied expressions. Y’sthola crossed her arms. Thancred leans against the wall with his eyes closed. Urianger has a hand under his chin as he tries not to look in Sab’s direction. Alphinaud is openly slack-jawed, while Alisaie is stunned with wide eyes. G’raha stares at the ground as if it would tell him the answers.
“If there was anyone to compare it to in our journeys, it would be like Ryne’s,” Sab muttered. Her body still shaking, but her gaze refused to meet theirs.
Thancred jumped at this.
“Were you imprisoned?” Thancred questioned.
“No. Not imprisoned in the physical sense, but I wasn’t living to my fullest either. It was a tough time. I had my fair share of happiness, sadness, and so on, but my memories continue to elude me to this day.” Sab remarked.
And so. Sab recounts her story without any further interruptions.
...
“I had lived... an empty, unfulfilled life. Not one full of riches like Vauthry. Rather, I was raised in a village that did well for itself.”
Sab leans back on the wall.
“You all know that Nagxia is one of the conquered nations of the Garlean Empire. But you wouldn’t know what it was like being born into it. Even I barely remember. I have suppressed most of my poor memories of that country. That’s one of the reasons I refuse to talk about my past. The important part of this story is that I was born after the massacre had happened. All I can remember is the feelings and sensations of the pain, both emotional and physical. The emotional pain of being with a family that wouldn’t accept me. And the physical pain of the beatings I would get. As a girl, I would have to accept the pain inflicted on myself and my family. And even...become...a servant that would serve a husband of Hyur, Au Ra, or Roegadyn descent.”
Sab gagged. Her eyes directed themselves to the wall.
“The thought disgusts me. For I am not into men. No offense to you, Thancred.” Sab quipped with a slight chuckle.
Thancred snickered.
“I cringe at the thought of the man I was then. But now, I’m grateful that I have since grown. And you, too, should learn to appreciate that aspect of yourself.” Thancred advised.
“My hobbies and my very being were questioned every day. I was supposed to not ask questions because it would raise suspicion as a citizen of a war-mongering nation and as a woman. I wasn’t born into the most loving family, but it was still one. We’d argue. Laugh. Cry. There’s so much I wish I could remember, but at the same time, I have refused such thoughts. I simply remember the sensations when I think of my family occasionally. Every day, I was reminded that a lot was sacrificed for me to continue living. Even in a country that was long overtaken, there was always something to take by the Garleans. I do not hold grudges since I barely have a memory of the one who did the massacre because I was never really affected by it. And my family was lucky enough that none of their loved ones were ever targeted. In fact, we were mostly ignored for most of the time.”
“I had the Echo see into Yotsuyu’s life at times, and I never thought too strongly about it until now. Even my parents were never that cruel, but I can imagine how badly it could’ve been if I had made them continue to snap. For anyone who doesn’t know, she was...sold. Sold off to serve men.”
Everyone simply stood quietly.
“I was often told how selfish I was. How dare I indulge in whatever small bit of entertainment I could find. So I ran away at an age a little younger than Alphinaud and Alisaie. I don’t know what happened to my family as a consequence. Were they executed? Are they still alive? Would they have sold me out like Yotsuyu? I’m sure wherever they are right now, they would be disappointed in the person I have become. I’m still a mess even after all the adventures we had.
“I had no mentor. No guidance. Not some great master or expert in things. The only people I have met as mentors are those when I got my job stones. Even then, that time was brief. And in the end, I learned only bits and pieces from them.”
“Like you all know, my name doesn’t follow the traditional Miqo’te tradition like G’raha Tia or Y’sthola Rhul. I discarded that name so long ago that I can’t recall. Maybe if I formatted, it’d be like S’ab, but I don’t want anyone to call me that.”
The Warrior of Light snickers at the thought before her laughter turns into a grimace.
“The Warrior of Light you all know and love is a liar. A fake. Someone who simply got lucky running from a war-torn land. I deserve this fate as someone who will never find love. A disappointment who should’ve been lost and forgotten by this world. That’s all I can recall. As far as anyone knows, that runaway is long gone and dead in that village. That is why I cannot speak for a country I have long forgotten and left behind so long ago.”
“I am no diplomat.”
“I am no scholar.”
“I am no true warrior.”
“I am no healer.”
“All I am is a poor artist who indulges in her selfish desires. I don’t belong in the Scions as the person I am. I offer nothing of strength or intelligence that evenly remotely approaches what the Scion does.”
[...]
Then. Everyone’s remarks start to make way as they try to ease the thoughts of the Warrior of Light.
...
“Perhaps not a scholar, but thy love of words still resonates in the sameth way as a scholar. Thy story also eloquently conveys the emotions that yond thee hath felt since then.” Urianger declared.
“What... would I be an Archon in Storytelling then?”
“Perhaps so! In fact-”
“Hold that thought. I’m more of a reader than a writer.”
...
“But you do. You have offered hope and service to the many people across the world without a second thought.” Alphinaud asserted.
“Have you considered I only wanted to reap the benefits of each person? The gold they have? To fill what little of my coin purse I had?” Sab snarked.
“That selfish desire may be a reason, but you still helped them, didn’t you? Even when I remember my mistakes as a diplomat for the Crystal Braves, I didn’t know what I was doing. In fact, it was quite selfish of me to think I could raise a whole company. You may not have been speaking for countries, but you brought hope into the person I was.”
...
“Thou has been useful whilst I have been distracted.” Urianger acknowledged. His hand was still on his chin, but he smiled at the Warrior of Light. Sab notices but fails to hide it.
“Consistently healing and buffing others is hard. The best I can do as a Red Mage is... just heal bits and pieces or resurrect someone.”
“Resurrection is useful. Especially at which hour I haveth been dead myself!”
Sab smiles sadly. (That would be true, but I’m usually the one who dies the most.)
G’raha notices this and butts in before Urianger can continue.
“Alas, you are a warrior. You have fought against many an enemy and won! Your magicks are just as dangerous as one would say... Y'sthola or Alisaie!" G’raha exclaimed.
“Perhaps so. The question is: Is this your understanding of me as the Warrior of Light, or simply you wording your admiration, G’raha?”
G’raha blushed.
“I-I would say it’s both!”
“You praise me too much then, G’raha. I-”
“I have learned of the person you are today, and it is nothing like the image of a hero that I thought of before. In fact, I admire you from a distance, and nothing similar to my past perspective of your actions.” G’raha interjected.
...
“Yeah! You deal even more damage than myself! You may switch between Summoner and Red Mage, but I have seen your skills for myself. So don’t dismiss your efforts! I admire you as the person you are, even if it’s not the same way as our beloved G’raha.”
“I-”
“Don’t you dare deny that statement! You humble yourself.” Alisaie shouted. She grins widely while keeping herself distanced from the Warrior of Light.
...
“Ryne found hope in not only us but you as well. If she knew about your past, she would have been proud. I bet she’s still awaiting your appearance since then.” Thancred noted.
“... She’s actually the first person I told to comfort her after we finished our work in Eden.”
“What prompted her to ask?”
“She was talking about if anyone ever felt how she has, so I offered to tell what little of my story I remembered. I also reassured her that Gaia is still her friend even with the attitude she has.”
“Ah. That girl is something else.”
“Perhaps. But I’m also the type to hide my affection behind insults, so I can relate a little bit.”
“Although never completely. I think we share the same pain of having the same soul as someone else. Or several others in my case. So the seats of Loghrif and Azem are filled by two people who hardly remember their past. Hers unwillingly and mine willingly.”
[...]
Finally, Y’sthola snaps.
“Are you listening to yourself?! How dare you still continue to reject and deny yourself of your gracious deeds and the good you have done in this world? I may have been your ally all this time, but even you are not above our help!” Y’sthola bellowed. Her hands slam on the desk as several papers and books fall off of it.
Sab is stunned and silent as she turns to finally face Y’sthola. Her ears cower, but she moves and stands face-to-face with Y’sthola.
“I still refuse to act as sole diplomat to Nagxia. That is my boundary for this journey.”
“Fine. Then accept our help so we may stand together when that moment arises.” Y’sthola proposed.
Sab stood still before responding. Y’sthola was ready for her subsequent rebuttal, but then...
“Would you be so willing to speak on my behalf?”
“Of course we can! If anything, you can write your thoughts, and one of us will speak in your place. I know how you get when there’s a crowd about.” Alisaie proclaimed.
“Would you be willing to create a piece about this?” Alphinaud suggested.
Sab hesitated for a moment.
“Of course!”