Chapter Text
Martin’s POV
When I woke up, it was still early, but I needed to catch the bus. I saw my alcoholic father passed out on the couch, but I had a Spanish test to worry about. I saw a missed call from my friend Bram, but I chose to ignore it as I would see him at school, so I put my phone down and grabbed some white bread from the pantry. When I got on the bus, I saw him.
Simon Spier is my longtime, and I mean longtime, crush. Minding his own business, he walked onto the bus but then began talking to me, so I zoned back into reality.
“Hey, is this seat taken?” I watched his rosy-red lips move, almost forgetting to respond.
"Uh, n-nope, it’s free, all yours to sit down on.” I stuttered as I felt my face start to heat up.
"Um, cool, I guess.” He sat down, and it took me everything I had not to burst with butterflies as I saw him casually sitting next to me.
This was the most he had ever talked to me since primary school.
When the bus finally arrived at school, I saw Bram walking with some random friends of his who are on the school’s football team, but when he saw me, he immediately waved and walked over.
“Hey Martin!” He said it excitedly.
"Hi, what’s up? I think I missed a call.” I replied simply.
“Oh yeah, I just wanted to tell you my dad and his girlfriend signed the deal with the Carters, so if you want to, you can come to our celebratory dinner.” He offered.
“I’ll check my schedule.” I smiled, knowing I was probably free.
“Speaking of schedules, I have English first, and so do you, so let’s not be late.” Bram said, grinning to himself.
When we arrived in class, I saw Mr Jones guiding the herd of students to their desks. Once Bram and I had taken our seats, the lesson began. Mr Jones was talking about Shakespeare or something like that, but I couldn’t be bothered to pay attention because, in English, I sat right behind Simon Spier. I watched as he ran his fingers through his mousy brown hair and how he tapped his foot nervously while attempting to pay attention to the boring lesson going on.
When I finally started to listen, I heard that we were going to do a pair project. Oh, what I would give to be partnered with Simon. For him to be forced to at least try to get along with me. But as Mr Jones read out the pairs, my fantasies were crushed.
“Simon Spier and Bram Greenfield.” Simon did a small wave to Bram and blushed cutely, which I pretend not to notice. Bram then went to sit next to him.
I guess Bram just gets it all—good looks, a rich family, and most importantly, Simon Spier—even if it’s just for a school project.
The rest of the day was fine. Bram and I sat next to each other at lunch, and Simon sat with Abby, Nick, and Leah—not that I was looking at him or anything.
When I caught the bus home, Simon was sitting with his best friend Leah, so I just started to do my math homework.
The bus finally made a stop near my house. Bram was coming over today, so I made an effort to clean up a bit by throwing out old beer bottles and doing the dishes. I wait for a bit until I hear a knock at the door. I open it, and I see Bram.
“Hi!” Says a cheerful Bram.
“Hello, do you want to come in?” I ask politely.
"No, actually, Martin. I’m going to stay here on your doorstep if that’s ok.” Bram replies sarcastically.
“Come in, jerk.” I roll my eyes as Bram tosses his bag on the couch.
We started watching a movie. I don’t remember what it was called, but for your information, it wasn’t the best movie I’ve ever watched. Then suddenly, Bram pressed the pause button.
“Do you know anything about that kid, Simon Spier?” Bram asked.
"Uh, I mean, I guess I’ve seen him around here and there, but I don’t really know anything about him.” Total and complete lie. I knew that his favorite colour was blue; I knew that he had one sister; I knew that he used to have glasses but switched to contacts last year; and, for Christ's sake, I knew where he lived. But I’m not a stalker or anything; I just followed him home one day.
“Why are you asking?” I questioned.
“Oh well, he is my project partner for English; I thought I might as well try and get to know him.” Bram was actually trying to get to know someone. He didn’t even try to get to know his last girlfriend; he gave her waffles with gluten when she was celiac. Bram definitely had a crush on Simon, or maybe he did not, and I was just overthinking this.
We continued watching the movie after that until something inside of me told my hand to press the pause button.
"Look, Bram, I have to tell you something. That kid, Simon Spier, I’ve had a major crush on him since primary school."
Bram looked shocked, but I saw something in his eyes; I couldn’t quite tell what it was.
"Well, that’s good for you, Martin. I hope he can see how nice you really are.” Bram said, but it came out all wrong, so I decided to brush it off. He was the first person I had ever told about my crush, but hopefully Simon would be the next.
School around that next morning like usual, and I hopped out of bed and caught the bus. When I arrived at school, I saw Bram, and we caught up. The first few periods flew by, and before I knew it, it was lunch.
“You know, Simon invited us to sit with him and his friends, if you want to sit there.” Bram mentioned.
"Sure, that would be fun.” I said as nerves filled my body.
We walked over to their table, and Bram began to have a conversation with Nick about football or something sporty. Abby and Leah were talking about some movies. Simon, however, was just picking what conversation he zoned into at a time until he turned to me.
“Hey Martin. We haven’t really talked much, but in case you didn’t know, I’m Simon.” He then put out his hand to shake.
"Um, yeah, I guess we don’t talk much, but I think I’m in your English class.” I replied.
“Oh yeahhh, I remember.” Simon said, dragging out the yeah.
“Hey Simon,” Bram starts, “for our project, do you want to study Romeo or Juliet’s part?” Bram asked.
Simon quickly turned to Bram. “If I go with Romeo, can I just sit and google Leonardo DiCaprio the whole time?” Simon jokes.
The people at our table laughed in response to Simon’s remark.
“No, but you can add one picture to the slideshow.” Bram said it with a smile on his face.
“Buzzkill.” Simon muttered under his breath.
Lunch finished up quickly, and my last class was boring history. I mean, I know enough about WW2, so why do I need to keep learning about it?
As I was walking through the corridors to get to my bus, I suddenly remembered that I left my phone in the library.
I quickly went back to the library, making sure that I’d be back to my bus in time, but as I was searching for my phone, I saw two students making out on one of the bean bags.
As I got closer, I saw their faces; it was Bram and Simon. Simon had an adorable smile as Bram ran his hand through Simon's hair.
My heart smashed; it took everything in me not to break down right in this library. I was staring mindlessly at them as they kissed and kissed, like it was keeping them alive.
I was about to leave, filled with jealousy, when Simon's beautiful eyes drifted to stare straight at me.
“Martin?” Simon asked, pulling away from Bram.
"Well, I was in class, and then the bell rang, but I forgot my phone." I couldn’t even make out words; the betrayal of my best friend made me lose my voice.
Bram finally turned around to face me. He looked guilty, as he should. I confided in him, and this is how he treated me.
“Martin…” Bram trailed off.
“I’m going to miss my bus, sorry.” The image of Bram and Simon kissing was like a thousand knives stabbing me. I pictured Simon's perfect lips against those of my own best friends as tears watered in my eyes.
“Wait, you weren’t meant to find out like this!” Bram grabbed my shoulder, trying to stop me from leaving.
“Oh yeah? Then how was I supposed to find out, Bram? How was I supposed to find out that my best friend is screwing the boy I like?"I yelled, tears filling my eyes.
“You like me?” A small voice from behind Bram asked
"No, I mean yes, but not—I don't." Simon just stared as I was trying to finish, but how could I when his gorgeous eyes were looking so innocently at me?
"Look, Martin, I didn’t mean to betray you, but I really do care about Simon.” Bram tried to explain.
“So you just decided to get in his pants, not even caring about what I thought? But hey! You wouldn’t be the first guy to get some from Simon. What was it? Cal last year, then the year before that." I knew I shouldn’t be mad at Simon, but it hurt so much. However, I was cut off before I could finish.
“Shut up, you prick! I used to think you were actually kind of nice, but you’re actually just a selfish, obnoxious, and unpleasant person.” Simon screamed, a little too loud for my liking.
“I’m sorry, Martin, but that was uncalled for and rude.” Bram glared at me as he spoke.
"Oh, so I’m the asshole for calling Simon a slut, which he is, but the guy who slept with his best friend's crush is fine? Unbelievable, I’m leaving.” I stormed out the door.
“Fine!” I heard someone yell; it was probably Simon.
When I finally got home, I saw several missed calls from Bram, but it hurt too much to look at his name. I was completely ready to wallow in my sadness all by myself like usual until I heard a knock and was forced to answer. It was no surprise that it was Bram because he is the only person who knows where I live.
“Hey Martin, look, I’m sorry about Simon, but it kind of just happened. One moment we were studying for English, and the next, my top just came off.” Bram was making a really bad apology.
“How long have you two been?" I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
“About an hour before you saw it, it was at the library." Bram looked down at the ground in shame.
"Oh, I mean, that’s really great.” I said I was trying my best not to cry. “He deserves someone like you who is popular, rich, and good-looking and who can treat him better than I ever will. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I was telling the truth; it just stung to hear.
"Martin, you were a dick, but I was also in the wrong, but please just say how you really are.” Bram tried to connect with me.
"No, I swear I’m fine and happy for you. No hard feelings.” I smiled, or at least attempted to.
“Martin,” Bram thought for a bit. “You should come to a party one of my friends, Garrett, is hosting.” Bram said.
“I don’t like parties." I tried, but once Bram was attached to something, he wouldn’t let go. I hope he won’t be like that with Simon.
Soon enough, I was getting myself ready for a party that I didn't want to go to. I grabbed some random shirt and jeans when I saw a small plastic bag with some ketamine in it. I knew the name because it’s what my dad slips girls when he takes them home.
I knew I shouldn’t, but I stuffed the bag into my pocket and got into Bram's car. We drove to one of those Westside mansions. Loud music pumped out of the house as drunk teenagers threw up in the yard.
“Let’s go inside,” Bram shouted over the deafening music.
“Or we could just go home.” But I knew that we couldn’t.
Once we went inside, I saw Simon. He was laughing and giggling with his friends. What I would give to be the one who made him smile like that, but that dream had been forever crushed after what I saw in the library.
The party sucked ass. The drinks were bad, the music was bad, and most importantly, Bram dating Simon was bad. I knew I should be happy for Bram. Deep down, I think I was, but it still hurt like hell, so slipping something in Simon's drink and getting very drunk seemed like an okay idea.