Work Text:
“I love Lila”
Hindsight is a rather cruel mistress was the thought that came to a certain red teenage heeler’s mind while laying in her bed awake in the middle of the night. The reason that said thought was because First; The thought that perhaps boys weren’t the only gender she liked and Second it had finally hit her that Lila Maltese, her best friend of 12 years was a person she loves …
Bingo grabbed her pillow slamming it onto her face and let out a scream. She could feel her cheeks burning under her fur. After muffling her scream she took her pillow off her face as every memory of their time together hit her. Meeting Lila and felt some kind of spark just click between them, feeling happy when Lila won pass the parcel all those years ago, playing on the waterslide and keeping the bugs safe, and even that one time a butterfly had landed on their held hands. So many moments like those and more caused Bingo to realize how much she truly loved Lila and wanted to be with her.
….” What if she doesn’t feel the same way?” The words left her lips before she could process them fully in her mind. Hearing them caused dread to rise up, her best friend not feeling the same way as her is something she can live with but their friendship becoming weird? She’d hate that so much, she wouldn’t know how to continue on if she lost her.
“Aag!” She groaned out before moving onto her side and closed her eyes “It doesn’t matter, I need to tell her. Just have to get it out there and if she doesn’t like me like that then I will be fine with it!” She told herself with determination. It took a bit but eventually, the red heeler fell asleep.
Unknown to Bingo, Bluey had heard her and couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease as she drifted off to sleep.
-
Lila hummed to herself as she waited for Bingo in the park. They had agreed to hang out since it was currently the weekend. The Maltese on the outside appeared calm and collected. Her white fur was all brushed and smoothed out despite how fluffy it actually was. Yes on the outside Lila was completely calm but on the inside, she was freaking out majorly because she and Bingo would need to have a conversation. A conversation she should have brought up a while ago.
“Hey Lila sorry that I’m late!” While Lila had been trying to get herself in order, Bingo had finally arrived and greeted the Maltese happily. Lila shook herself out of her worries and stared at her best friend as she jogged towards her, She couldn’t help but stare at Bingo who held such lovely soft fur with such breathtaking warm colors, and her eyes were filled with kindness she was known for.
“It’s alright Bingo, I haven’t been waiting too long” She teased with a slight giggle as the heeler came to a stop in front of her and let out her own giggle.
“Still sorry, so you ready to get today started?” Bingo asks while holding out her hand for Lila to take it like they usually do. Before she never really understood why she loved holding Lila’s hand so much but last night had opened her eyes as to why.
Lila stared at the hand she always loved holding, always felt like there would be nothing more she’d enjoy than holding Bingo’s hand. She gave her best friend a smile and instead of taking her hand, patted the open spot next to her “Actually I was hoping to be able to talk to you about something” She felt a slight ping inside of her chest when she saw Bingo’s confused but very concern filled expression but was happy the other dog had sat besides her.
“Alright that’s fine with me, I guess I have some things I have to talk to you about as well” Once again the words slipped from Bingo’s mouth before she had fully processed them. She screamed internally as she sat beside Lila and felt some sweat form at the look Lila gave her.
“Oh, you have something you want to talk about as well? Why I must say what I have to talk about can wait after you. You have the floor Bingo Heeler” Lila gave the heeler a cheeky grin, deeply knowing she was stalling but she wanted to enjoy these last few moments before things went wrong.
“Ah, Lila I couldn’t possibly! I mean it’s…okay it is a bit important but it can wait can’t it heh?” Bingo tried to get out of it but she knew she wouldn’t be able to. Her heart was racing as Lila let out another giggle at her actions. She loved the sound of her laughter.
“Oh no no! If you’re saying it’s actually important then you need to tell me”
Bingo couldn’t help but give a nervous smile because she knew Lila was right, The red heeler never truly said things were important, of course, she had her moments when she admitted something was important but most of the time she deemed a lot of things unimportant unless it involved someone close to her. “Okay okay but you aren’t allowed to hate me” She pointed a finger at her best friend who had only gained a confused expression.
Before Lila could respond, Bingo had opened her mouth once again “ Last night I had a bit of a revelation, I’m not into just boys. I found out fully that I also like girls and uh…um I also found out that I like you Lila..No I love you Lila, I love your laughter, I love the way seeing you makes my heart flutter, I love being around you and spending time with you. After 12 years, Lila Mastese I’ve come to learn that I love you!” She finished with a slight pant as she finally let it out. She held her eyes closed waiting for her to laugh or even yell at her but when neither came, Bingo opened her eyes, and what she saw hurt more than anything else.
Lila could do nothing but stare at her best friend as she absorbed her words. It hurt , it hurts so so bad but Lila didn’t hide her feelings all those years to break now so she put her best face on. She didn’t know what face she was making but it must have been horrible if the look on Bingo's face was any indication.
“Bingo…I…I don’t know what to say. I’m happy you found yourself and your confession, i-it’s beautiful a-a-and I-I…I loved you too but there’s someone else. I…we started to talk and hang out in our free time. Whenever you were off studying or looking for colleges for the future…We got close and I was able to move on because I never thought…” Lila stopped speaking for a moment, she didn’t have the heart to finish that sentence, her voice was breaking and she could feel her eyes starting to sting as she looked at her friend. Her closest friend she had spent 12 years with ten of those years being filled loving her and wanting to be loved back. She hated seeing how heartbroken her friend was and maybe…Maybe she could have accepted but it wouldn’t be fair, when she had finally gotten together with her girlfriend she had accepted that she and Bingo would be nothing more than friends but most importantly she felt free.
“I-I’m sorry Bingo but I don’t love you, I can’t love you. Not in that way…Not anymore” She whispered and a single tear slid down her face and hit her hand. For the first time in a long time, she had gotten up and ran away. Ignoring the shouts of Bingo calling her name, she didn’t know where she would go but she just had to get away.
–
Lila panted as she hid behind a tree. Her legs and chest burned, and she did her best to catch her breath. The Maltese pulled out her phone and just sent her location to her girlfriend. She couldn’t stare at her phone for long as she felt the tears forming again. Lila tried. She tried to keep her tears back but she couldn’t so she didn’t try anymore. She cried and she cried hard . Lila cried for the missed opportunity of being with someone who understands her so well without having to try. She cried at the thought of even entertaining the idea of accepting Bingo’s feelings when it would be wrong. She cried because she thought she was finally free . She cried and cried not caring if someone could come upon her.
“Why? Why did you have to love me? I loved you for so long. So why? Why when I was healing and finally giving my love to another did you find it within yourself to realize you love me?” She blubbered to herself, She wanted to hate Bingo. Every irrational part inside of her wanted to hate the red heeler but she couldn’t because none of this was any of their faults.
“Lila! Lila! Lila are you here!”
Lila looked up when she heard that wonderful voice. She stood up and did her best to wipe her eyes but the tears lingered especially as the voice grew closer. She decided that it didn’t matter, she wouldn’t hold herself back so she stepped from behind the tree and answered the one calling her name.
“I’m over here Bluey!” She spoke loud enough for the Heeler to hear and was immediately greeted by a Blue heeler who looked at her with love and concern. She didn’t even get a chance to speak before Bluey pulled her into a hug.
“Oh Lila, I’m so sorry. I assume the talk did go well? Do you want me to try and talk to Bingo, Love?” Bluey pulled away slightly so she could face her girlfriend. Wiping her eyes with her thumbs. The Heeler knew things would have gone a bit out of control but she didn’t expect things to end so badly that Lila only sent her a location.
Lila gave Bluey a watery smile. The blue heeler was always so caring and fretting over her needs “N-no Bluey, we never even got a chance to talk about you and I being together…Bingo confessed she loves me and I…I just.” She stopped speaking, she felt so drained, and god all she wanted to do was cuddle and not think about Bingo for a couple of hours.
Almost as if she could read her mind. Bluey picked up her girlfriend and walked towards her car “It’s okay you don’t have to say any more. We can talk later for now just lean on me a bit Lilove” The heeler gave Lila an understanding smile with the other being able to do nothing but enjoy being in her partner’s arms. Her phone buzzed and she looked at it. Seeing the barrage of texts from Bingo, all of them saying sorry in some way.
Lila: Don’t apologize Bingo… I should have handled this better. For now, I just need some space okay?
Bingo (Bestie for life) Heeler:
Okay, Lila. Take your time and once again I’m sorry.
Bluey read the brief conversation between the two before Lila closed her phone and relaxed into the blue heeler’s arms.
“Can we just go to my house and cuddle?”
“Anything for you Lila” Bluey couldn’t help but respond the way she always did to Lila these past couple of years. Lila was someone Bluey was willing to endure a lot for, it’s why she was fine with keeping their relationship from her family. It’s why she was fully prepared to let Lila go if the other did decide to be with her sister because she loves Lila and she’d never want to keep the one she loved from being happy.
–
Bingo stared at her phone not getting a response from Lila. Her throat felt sore and her legs burned when she finally tried to run after Lila. She felt like she was about to break down once again her emotions were chaotic inside of her head. This outcome was worse than the others, a broken chuckle escaped from her instead as memories flashed inside of her head. Remembering the tender moments she and Lila shared meant more than she knew at the time, now knowing she could remember how Lila acted, how supportive and helpful she was whenever she had broken up with a couple of her boyfriends. All she wanted was to be with Lila but that ship sailed away twelve years ago.
A bitter and broken laugh escaped from the heeler as stood looking up at the clear blue sky “Hindsight…You truly are a cruel Mistress”