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They always had a specific dynamic on stage and on camera that was very… them. They were aware of that.
It always depended on the mood: it could go from a greasy Moonbyul and an annoyed Solar to a confident Solar and a flustered Moonbyul, and almost everything in between. The stage had always been a sort of playground for both of them, where they could mess around with their games of push and pull. But at the same time, it was a scary place where everything could go tumbling down if they weren’t careful enough, although the more they tested the barriers the more they noticed how no one ever said anything despite the country they lived in and industry they were part of.
They never said anything when Yongsun shared some way too intimate TMI during fansigns, or when Byul latched onto Yongsun’s arm and her chin hooked on the singer’s shoulder in the middle of a concert for no apparent reason except that she wanted to. They never said anything when she got way too close to the other girl to talk into the microphone either, or when Yongsun’s eyes traveled to places they shouldn’t (not in public at least).
They always had their guard up, of course, they wouldn’t jeopardize themselves just for a slim taste of freedom in public. It was difficult at times but, over the years, they learned to find a stability between their on-screen dynamic and their private life. And they each knew they would do what it takes to make it work.
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“Byul-ah. We’re there.”
Byulyi opened her eyes to the wonderful view of Yongsun smiling tiredly down at her. Her soft voice resonated around her as she took the time to blink confusedly at where she was.
“When did I fall asleep?” she asked, her dry mouth only being able to articulate something that sounded like to whedidafaslep?
Yongsun laughed and flicked her forehead affectionately. “Come on.” And she left, the sound of a door shutting behind her.
Byul’s eyes focused and her mind finally decided to cooperate as she finally remembered where she was. Which meant in the backseat of their manager’s car, parked in front of their hotel, coming back from the first day of their first fan concert in Japan. She didn’t remember falling asleep but judging by the sore sensation she felt in her shoulders and neck, it must have been at the beginning of the ride.
A knock on her window got rid of the rest of the hold that sleep had on her. On the other side, Yongsun was looking at her expectingly. She probably just wanted to go to sleep, so Byul leaped up, opening the door and getting out, whispering a small sorry. Their manager gave them their bags, congratulated them once again and wished them goodnight, leaving the two women in front of their hotel.
They got in, shooting a smile at the receptionist, and entered the elevator. They leaned on the wall next to each other, Yongsun’s eyes shutting as her head dropped against the metallic surface.
“Careful, you’re gonna get your hair even more dirty and stinky than usual, Unnie”, Byul teased.
“Aish!” Yongsun exclaimed (That teasing cost Byul a surprisingly strong hit on the bicep. Byul was pretty sure she was safe from these because of the state of tiredness Yongsun was in; guess she was wrong). “I preferred when you were asleep. At least the only sounds coming from you were your snores.”
That just made Byul laugh -she just loved seeing Yongsun get all riled up because of her- as the elevator doors opened with a ding and the two women entered the corridor and made their way up to door 317. Byul took the pass out of her pocket and pressed it into the slot. The door opened and Byul let Yongsun enter first, following her and closing the door behind them.
She watched as Yongsun switched the lights on, illuminating the comfy hotel room, its two queen-sized bed and enough space in the room that Byul could run away from Yongsun if she wanted to seriously annoy her.
As Byul turned her back to her to put the card in the slot on the other side of the door, she heard Yongsun’s bag drop on the floor, a long and relieved sigh, then footsteps getting closer to her.
She wasn’t surprised when she felt the other girl’s arms circle her waist, clutching her firmly despite her state, Yongsun’s cold nose resting against the back of Byul’s neck, puffs of air hitting the strands of hair that weren’t stuck in her bun, almost tearing a shudder out of her. Byulyi felt a warm feeling settle in her stomach, familiar, as it always appeared when Yongsun was near, and covered the other girl’s hands with hers, pressing back and squeezing their bodies as close as they could physically be. Yongsun’s nose trailed slowly to the side of her neck, where she left a small kiss, not teasing but only comforting.
But Byulyi needed more, so she turned in her arms, facing Yongsun and her tired yet sparkling eyes, face free of her stage makeup, beige hair let down, her mole mirroring Byul’s on display, her cute mochi cheeks, her dimples and crescent eyes and God, she was beautiful. The girl smiled softly and Byul felt the warmth in her stomach take over her chest. She leaned in with her hands on both of her cheeks and kissed her delicately, a kiss that Yongsun returned immediately, fingers around her waist traveling upwards to remove the hair tie that held Byul’s bun together, burying themselves in her lover’s black hair, only muttering an “I missed you” when she pulled away, slightly breathless from Byulyi’s kisses, foreheads pressed together.
And this was what Byulyi treasured the most, that raw and real relationship that she knew they would fight for no matter what. What happened behind the walls when no one was watching -where Byul would pepper kisses across Yongsun’s collarbones to wake her up in the morning, where Yongsun would respond to Byul’s teasing by shutting her up with a way more efficient method than hitting her in the arm, where they would just live, just the two of them without a camera glued to them all day long- was only for them to see. (Byul could admit that they looked grossly in love on camera most of the time sometimes, but she could never entirely stop looking at Yongsun like she deserved the world, because she did).
“I missed you too”, Byul whispered. Even though they had been together nonstop since they left Korea, she had mostly seen Solar since they arrived, and way too little of Yongsun (although she loved both, Yongsun would always be the unfiltered clumsy girl Byul first fell in love with).
Yongsun brushed her lips on Byul’s mole at that, a habit that she took when they started dating, and pulled away.
“I’m going to shower, if you wanna join.” And after she saw Byul’s suggestive smirk: “Not like that! I see where your mind is going, Byul-ah.”
Byulyi just laughed, she would have been way too tired anyways. “It will have to wait for when we’ll get back home then.”
Yongsun hummed lowly, making her way to the bathroom. Byul heard the shower being turned on from where she was still almost leaning against the door. The time she took to take the rings off her fingers, place her glasses on the nightstand and almost throw her clothes and her bag on a chair in a messy pile, Yongsun was already under the hot steam of water, already washing shampoo foam out of her hair. Byulyi joined her, dropping a kiss on her forehead and reverently taking her in. Byul had always loved to simply look at Yongsun and explore her body in the most candid way possible, marking her gentle curves, beauty spots, smooth thighs and soft yet muscly features with her eyes, appreciating the work she put into maintaining her shape and taking care of herself.
“Took you long enough”, Yongsun grumbled, but there was no heat to it. “Come here.”
The shower was big enough for the both of them but Byul pressed herself right against Yongsun’s side under the jet. The temperature was perfect, and she felt her muscles loosen up immediately at the contact of the water against her skin. She couldn’t suppress the groan that got out when Yongsun moved behind her and started massaging her shoulders, her deft fingers working against the tight knots at the base of her neck.
“You did well today, Byul-ah”, she heard Yongsun say, a hand traveling higher, rubbing back and forth against her scalp.
And Byul could never comprehend what she did in her past life to deserve her. It always touched her how much Yongsun learned to express her love seeing how far she came from. Byul would always remember that Isanghae! phase, and how Yongsun had never been familiar with physical touch until they started getting to know each other more; and seeing her so adamant to make Byul feel loved and show her how much she cared for her now… it made Byulyi want to cry sometimes.
“You did amazing too, Yong”, she breathed out, hoping that Yongsun heard her.
She knew she did when she heard a small chuckle from behind her. She felt a hand guiding her to turn around so she did, coming face to face with her. Yongsun brushed the wet bangs from the rapper’s eyes, taking the shampoo bottle and squeezing some in the palm of her hand. Byul let herself be taken care of, eyes closing as Yongsun’s hands shampooed her hair the way she had done it more times than Byul could count; they always found time for each other somehow, and she knew Yongsun always found it comforting when they could be intimate in a way that didn’t necessarily need to be sexual (although most of the time, she was unpredictable; and Byul learned to know better than to assume when Yongsun didn’t want more).
She opened her eyes after she felt the jet of water go through her hair and Yongsun’s gentle hand making sure it wouldn’t get tangled.
“You’re all good”, she announced after a while, replacing the shower head on its support.
“Thank you”, Byul said, kissing her cheek while she took the soap in her hand. “Your turn now.”
Yongsun came to entirely face her and Byul began to rub the soap against her skin, starting at her collarbones. She had always loved how smooth Yongsun’s body was all over and would never miss a chance to touch her (because she couldn’t always only look at her when Yongsun was soft like that). She loved having a day off because they could stay in bed just to trace each other’s body, rediscovering places where they had already traveled to but would never stop going back to again and again, loved when she could press her nose against the older girl’s chin, marveling at how soft it was, or when she could playfully squish her cheeks in public.
Byul’s hands moved to Yongsun’s breasts, down to her ribcage, to her way too hard abs (not that Byulyi was complaining), then around to her shoulders, arms and back, pressing light trails of kisses there and there, going lower and lower until she came back up and Yongsun took the soap from her hands to reciprocate, trailing a rather similar path on Byul’s skin.
Once they were all washed and clean, they got out, entangling themselves in their towel and drying themselves off. Byul made a show of sniffing Yongsun’s hair, making a comment about how it didn’t stink as much now, which got her a strong blow to the arm, and they changed into their pyjamas, the ones that Yongsun bought for them years ago when they weren’t even dating. They brushed their teeth and dried their hair, talking lightly about their first day of fansign and concert and the moomoo’s reactions; that always made them laugh.
Byul ended up sprawled on her back on one of the beds, taking her phone out as Yongsun switched off the lights of the bathroom and their bedroom, the only lights left being the ones of Byul’s bedside lamp and the one coming from her phone. She heard some footsteps and then the mattress next to her dipped as Yongsun muttered a small scoot over and cuddled into Byul’s side, forehead resting against her temple and arm thrown across her stomach, legs tangling on their own.
Byul knew what Yongsun wanted so, despite the tiredness, she opened Naver and researched one of their fansite. They always had fun looking at videos of their concert, especially when they could hear moomoos scream (although Yongsun would say moan, and she wasn’t wrong) at some of their stage antics. The first video they came across, of course, was of them singing and dancing to Shutdown, and they laughed at the moo’s screams coming out of Byul’s phone.
“You really do know what they want well,” Yongsun chuckled; she always had had her own fun teasing Byul with this song ever since it came out and had been more than happy when they were told they could perform it at the fan concert.
“We just have to bring out the sexy moves. Remember they wanted the sexy concept for our album,” Byul answered with a laugh, and Yongsun hummed knowingly.
“They’re perverts.”
Byul tapped her temple lightly. “Very chic of you to say that when we know who that song is inspired from.”
And Yongsun smirked something between amused and seductive, raising her head slightly, the ghost of her breath hitting Byul’s lips. “Very chic of you to say that when we know who wrote it.”
Byul’s heartbeat picked up as she watched Yongsun’s eyes travel to her lips; even if they had already been in this position a countless number of times, the other girl would always have that effect on her. Yongsun stayed still, almost daring her to do something. And Byul had always been reckless when it came to her, so she did, kissing her deep, warm, and passionate, one hand fisting in Yongsun’s hair while the other one pressed hard against the back of her neck. Yongsun moved to straddle her, nibbling on her lower lip and planting her forearms on either side of the younger’s head, Byulyi’s phone already forgotten somewhere between them. They made out like that for a while, dragging soft sounds from each other’s throats but not planning on going further, until they had to pull away for some air, panting in each other’s mouth.
“Let’s just finish looking at these and then go to sleep,” Yongsun reasoned. Her breathless voice made Byul kiss her one last time before they came back to their former cuddling position, letting their heartbeats calm down.
Byul fished her phone from where it had been forgotten between them and tapped the password to unlock it and go back to the fansite. Scrolling down, they found videos of their Shutdown performance from other angles, accompanied by the moans and yells they were used to hear. There were also pictures of Yongsun and her skirt slash belly heater during the fansign, videos of Byul making fun of her (next to her, Yongsun muttered an Aish… for good measure), closeups of their abs and hands (they were pretty used to these now). They continued to scroll down for a bit, laughing at the content, and then, right before Byul was about to suggest they go to sleep, a picture popped that made her pause, Yongsun stilling next to her.
It was a closeup of Byul and Yongsun during the concert. Byul was singing -she remembered it to be during Promise U- microphone in her hand, while the other one was around Yongsun’s neck. And Yongsun. Yongsun had a hand on Byul’s chest, standing close, with an expression that Byul was only used to see in private. Yongsun’s stare held all her love and care for the younger woman, adding to a soft smile that made Byul’s heart yearn for more. The picture most likely needed to be put back in a context, it was probably taken in the spur of the moment, maybe Yongsun was jokingly flirting with her at that moment, but Byul knew her expression was genuine.
“Oh,” was all Yongsun was able to let out.
Byul felt like time stilled, and silence stretched for a bit, the younger girl almost expecting something from Yongsun, a remark about how she hadn’t been careful enough, a panicked rant that Byulyi wouldn’t be able to cut short, because this already happened two or three years ago and that was how Yongsun reacted and-
And Byulyi just laughed. She laughed and laughed, until at some point Yongsun started to laugh too, a full belly one, and Byul felt cramps beginning to appear in her stomach, her cheeks almost hurting at how much she was smiling, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. She could feel Yongsun shake against her, her dolphin laugh piercing through the air, face burrowing deeper into her neck.
After a while, Byul managed to let out: “Very subtle, Yong.”
“Aish!” the older woman whined, slapping her hand lightly. Her breathing subsided against Byul’s neck, but she could still feel a smile against her skin. After a bit Yongsun lifted her head so that they were at eye level. “It’s not like it’s the first time we’ve acted like this on camera.”
“Like what?” Byul’s eyebrow shot up, smug smirk taking over her face as her index hooked under Yongsun’s chin, almost daring her to come nearer.
“Greasy,” Yongsun muttered -but Byul knew it had been a long time since she hadn’t wholeheartedly meant that- and at that she was inching closer.
“You love it.”
“I love you. Big difference.” And Yongsun erased the last inch of space between them, kissing her fondly and deeply as if she wanted to close the argument.
But Byul wouldn’t let her win like that, so she pulled away, answering with a: “I love you too.”
Yongsun grumbled for good measure but bumped their nose together, and Byul swore that when she looked at her, the smile she saw on her face was the exact same one Yongsun had on the picture. So she smiled back.
“You’re right. We act too much like a married couple anyways,” she admitted fondly, nose dragging in Yongsun’s soft hair.
“Can’t believe you said that on camera during promotion,” Yongsun laughed, her crescent eyes making an appearance.
“Can’t believe you said we looked like newlyweds on Solarsido twice and didn’t edit it out,” Byul retorted.
“Because we did! I didn’t say anything to you when you pulled me aside to make out in that bathroom stall at RBW right after practice.”
“Of course you didn’t, you liked it.”
“I’m pretty sure we almost got caught that day, Byul-ah,” Yongsun pressed an index into her chest, eyebrow raised.
Byul knew this was going nowhere. They often had playfights like this one and Byul loved to talk back just to see Yongsun annoyed because of her. Yongsun always got that a bit too late however, like now, as her brow furrowed and she burrowed her head in her shoulder.
“Ihayou,” she let out, her sentence muffled into the rapper’s pyjamas.
“Hm? I didn’t quite catch that,” Byul teased for the nth time.
“I hate you.” It was said more clearly this time, but it didn’t sound convinced at all, so Byul chuckled and kissed Yongsun’s mole.
“I love you too,” Byul smiled. “Shall we go to sleep now?”
Yongsun hummed affirmatively and kissed her temple. “I’m actually exhausted.”
“You did well today,” Byul repeated, because she’ll never get tired of showering Yongsun with compliments. She took her phone, plugging it to charge on her nightstand, switched the lamp off and came back to face Yongsun again, this time with the both of them on their side. Byul quickly moved to cuddle into the crook of Yongsun’s neck, pressing her nose into it and inhaling her comforting scent. One of her arms came to wrap around Yongsun’s waist, and the older girl embraced her in return. Her eyes closed when she felt Yongsun’s nails scratching her scalp lightly. Cuddling with Yongsun had always made her feel safe and sleepy, and tonight wasn’t an exception.
“Gnight, Yong,” she was able to mutter through an already half-asleep state.
She could feel Yongsun’s breathing slow down, and her own eyes getting heavy with sleep. But right before she could fall asleep, she heard: “Good night, Byul-ah. Love you.” Then Byul felt a kiss on top of her head.
Her chest tightened once more at how much she loved this girl and how much Yongsun loved her back, how much comfort she felt being surrounded by Yongsun’s warmth, Yongsun’s hands cradling her, Yongsun’s sweet perfume, Yongsun. And at that she was finally able to slip into unconsciousness, with a soft smile pressed into Yongsun’s skin, and an I love you too barely making it past her lips before she fell asleep.