Chapter Text
Another sunny, bright day in California, and the whole beach smelled like sweat, sex, and sea salt.
Malibu was one of those places that every jock and bimbo visited at least once in their life, like a Mecca for hot chicks and annoying dude-bros. Sure, it had the average California resident strolling on the street, maybe a family or two enjoying the beachfront view, but the boardwalks were mostly crowded by tourists and frathouse frequenters.
Despite the slightly birdbrained demographic, there was a slightly unsettling air around the usually lively Malibu sands. Even the dumbest blonde bombshells could feel their horny and sassy demeanor dim. Veroskia Mayday’s pop-up concert on the beach a few months ago had ended in disaster, with attendees either going missing or crazies spouting off some nonsense about a “sea monster”.
And yet, life moved on. Some weird videos of said sea monster were posted on Tik-Tok and Twitter, but it was probably some lame ARG or publicity stunt.
Chad was a hunk with enough tanned skin and muscle to make even a nun blush. Despite his jock-like appearance, he was the smartest of “the boys”, a bona-fide prodigy when it came to sports medicine. Being one of the few guys in the college dorms with enough braincells to rub together, his friends made him keep score of their football bets whenever they went drinking.
Enthusiastic whoops filled the open barfront as the guys cheered, hooting and hollering. The TV blared out, overpowering their voices with the announcer’s bombastic voice.
“And that’s touchdown! Hopkins manages to score for the Rams, bringing them 5-3 against the Raiders!” One of Chad’s buddies groans in defeat, and hands ten dollars over to another fratboy. Chad chuckles, striking another tally onto his notepad and keeping track of the bets around him.
Suddenly, all the TVs in the bar flickered, cutting to static. Onlookers complained, some even slamming their drinks down in frustration.
“Oh come on! Right when it was about to get good!”
Hey bartender! Fix your damn crappy TV!”
“Fuck you!”
The barkeep narrowed his eyes, and stood up, whacking the TV. It still didn’t work, displaying static.
Grumbling, the frat boys lumbered out of the bar to check the electronics store nearby hoping to see the display TVs work. As Chad strolled out to the store, he and his friends looked on in surprise to see all of the TVs in the storefront, along with other storefronts, fizzle and pop with static.
“ What the fuck ?”
Pedestrians muttered and murmured in fear, shock, and confusion as almost every flatscreen TV filled with the same static. A little girl clutched onto her mother’s hand, tilting her head. “What’s happening, mommy?”
Her mother looked at the screens in worry. “I don’t know, sweetie…”
A particularly scruffy homeless man scoffed, and pointed at the screens. “I bet it’s the end of the world! Aliens are trying to hijack our signals, and take over the world!
“Man, get off the meth, dumbass.” Another onlooker sneered at the disheveled old bum. “It’s obviously a cyber attack, or something. I bet it was the North Koreans, or Russians.
A tourist pulled out her phone and began recording. Someone piped up, waving their phone. “Holy shit! This is happening all around the world!”
The onlookers turned to the frantic teen with shocked looks. He continued, pulling out his own iPhone and showing them pictures. “Britain, South Korea, Australia… hell, all around the world! All TVs are going on the fritz on this one channel!
“Fuckin’ shit! I told you guys it was aliens!”
“Is this the end of the world?! Hell yeah! I don't have to do my midterm tomorrow!
“Oh god… may Jesus have mercy on us…”
A nurse stepped up to the crowd, shouting to calm them down. “Everyone, stay calm! Nothing bad has happened yet- let’s wait to see what’s causing this before panicking!” She pulled out her phone, and began to call the cops to help suppress the unruly crowd.
It was complete fucking chaos in the offices and control rooms of the FCC headquarters, workers running around and doing their best to find where the signal was coming from. A few of them shrugged, and continued eating their sandwiches. It was lunch break, after all - it doesn't matter if it might be a nuke or the end of the world, they aren’t going to work during their break.
“Who the fuck?! WHAT the fuck?!” One of the chief broadcast engineers pulled his hair in stress. “Where is this signal COMING FROM???”
The nervous intern beneath him typed furiously, sweating. “I-I don't know sir! Nobody knows! Every time we try to locate the signal, it keeps popping up randomly in completely different areas!” A dot on a map flashed from Missouri, to Kyoto, to Abu Dhabi. “The locations are all around the globe- they’re constantly scrambling the signal!”
Engineers huffed out a litany of curses, from “oh my god” to ‘fuckin’ hell”. The whole department was in chaos- and what was happening in the US was happening to the entire world, too. In that one moment, broadcasters of all nationalities, races, and religions were united by one thought:
“ I am going to be so fucking fired.”
Far, far away, in another plane of reality, the television screens in the rings of hell were similarly engulfed in static. Sinners gathered in bars and in front of their televisions, watching in interest.
A succubus chuckled, leaning against a lizard-like sinner. “Reckon Vox has something to do with this?” The sinner snorted, and checked his claws as the monstrous crowd mumbled and jeered around him. “Nah. Vox hates it when his little broadcasts are interrupted… I wonder what hotshot is tryna take his overlord position?” The succubus wheezed out, “H-Hah! As if they’d actually do anything!”
Alastor’s grin went wide as he saw the TV in the Happy Hotel’s lobby flicker and turn to static. Charlie and Vaggie stopped their idle conversation, and the princess of Hell blinked. “Huh. That’s odd… Why are you happier than usual?”
The Radio Demon’s static crackled and popped in sadistic joy. “Oh, my wonderful fellows! It appears that all the TVs in Hell seem to be hijacked!” Everyone’s eyes widened, and Husk did a spit-take with his alcohol. Alastor continued on, his shadows twitching from the sheer malicious joy he had. “And it’s so entertaining ! I bet Vox, that uncultured fellow, is pulling at his wires in anger!”
Charlie gaped. “Like… all the televisions in Hell? Even outside the Pride ring?”
Alastor shrugged, still grinning. “As if I have a clue, dear! Sinners can’t leave Pride, remember?” The Radio demon smirked, and twirled his cane. “But I have heard from a few natural-born associates… That is the case. How mysterious and wonderful!”
Charlie looked at the TV warily. “This… might be dangerous. If it’s affecting all of Hell and not just pride, then Dad and the other Princes of Hell will get involved. This isn’t your usual overlord bickering…”
Angel Dust struts closer, popsicle in hand as he leans on the couch. “Wonder who’s doing this… he must be a real big shot to try and go into one of the three V’s domains and mess with them. Vox is going to be livid.”
The hotel’s inhabitants shuffle closer to the bar, looking up at the TV. This was too interesting to pass up.
The TV screens switched from static to an image in tandem, shocking the worldwide crowds. In front of them was a camera-headed man, dressed in a grey hoodie and casual wear.
Despite his informal appearance, the creature’s demeanor was downright serious, hands folded on a wooden table. “Hello, everyone. I am Cameron.”
His voice was like talking through a walkie-talkie, complete with the radio interference and clicks. The words were translated into subtitles below the screen, but the eerie automaton spoke in slightly accented English. There was a litany of reactions to the sight around the world, some people stumbling in fear while others leaned in closer with fascinated interest.
“For so long, you've all lived in complete obliviousness. Your lives were moved and observed, like chess pieces on a board.” The cameraman, despite having no face, narrowed the shutters on his lens to resemble a frustrated glare.
“You’ve lived so long not knowing what came after death. I’d lived so long not knowing. And then I fucking died, and got sent straight down to hell.”
People recoiled as the sinner slammed his hands on the table in anger, making the transmission emit a slight crackle. Cameron heaved a breath, and laughed breathlessly. “ My life, all of our fucking lives , are nothing but numbers to both Heaven and Hell. Heaven’s corrupt, and Hell’s a shithole .”
The pious Christians in the world paled at the mere thought of a corrupt Heaven, a few yelling in outrage at the screens.
The camera demon simply cackle maniacally, with the energy and vigor of a man getting his revenge. “ No more shall they hide in their fuckin’ palaces and prissy little worlds. No more shall they manipulate humanity!” The laughter crescendoed. “I, CAMERON, will SHOW YOU ALL! I’m going to use what they’ve turned me into, and I’m going to make THEM the entertainment! How do you like that, fuckers!”
And the world watched as the screens flickered to red.